I next wake to nice, toned thighs, in nylon or spandex yoga pants. I mean I literally wake up with my head resting on thighs and I don't want to open my eyes at all really. Thicc thighs save lives, I will gladly be saved right now.
"You know, groping my legs lets me know you're awake." An annoying voice says as I grope the prize I had apparently been given, firm surprisingly slender legs underneath their yoga pants sheathe.
"Silence, let me enjoy these legs in peace." Annoying voice scoffs at that.
"You fell asleep mid-conversation. Busy night?"
"I had to wrestle a dragon just a lil. Then alcohol became my best friend."
"Borf!"
"Best friend after you, of course, my bad Boy." I answer the man's best friend as I push my cheek into its comfortable thigh pillow.
"So, was that you drunk posting on PHO last night? I thought you were a brute, not a precog." I did what?! Eyes now fully open. Fuck.
"I did fucking what?!" My mouth echoes my thoughts as I jump off of the loveseat and Vicky's thighs to grab my phone I left charging on the kitchen counter.
"PHO, I'm pretty sure that was you drunk posting at three in the morning." Vicky states as I look at my PHO account.
"Heh, Dragon muted me again."
"Dragon?"
"Don't worry about it, why were you up at 3 AM?" I completely disregard my slip and level a look at a sheepish-looking Vicky.
"Ya know, just, researching an assignment." She brings her knees up and hugs them to herself. I understand Vicky.
"I'm something of a researcher myself, I understand."
"Just answer my question before I throw something at you." She scowls at me.
"Which?"
"Brute/Thinker one."
"Oh, then nah, I just know most of the future for a few months." I mean, she already caught me, no point hiding it. And now that I'm not plastered I recognize her PHO handle on the thread I made.
"Wait, how the fuck? Better yet anything from that future pertaining to me?" Oh boy, that's a loaded question.
"Why did you put my head on your thighs?" I counter.
"You didn't have a pillow down here, now quit evading the question."
"Do you have abs?"
"Yes, question, now."
"Nice. And I mean that, generally it's actually rather unhealthy for women to have abs due to how they need to go below twenty percent body fat to get them a majority of the time, well, make them show. Which isn't an issue for you as it looks like your body uses fat well." I'm stalling, but I might as well be creative in my stalling. And I gotta admit I really like it when a girl has abs.
"Did you just say I have big tits in the most convoluted way possible?" Vicky asks thoroughly distracted, so I was successful in my goal.
"Yes, and I like abs." I give her a nod, then I fill up the water for a pot of coffee.
"Okay, that doesn't change that I asked-" I take that as perfect opportunity to start the bean grinder. French vanilla beans seem like a good choice today.
"Can you just-"
"What was that? Can't hear you, the grinder is too loud!" I interrupt her and keep grinding. She gives me a thoroughly unimpressed blue-eyed glare. Ah shit, the beans are done grinding.
"If you answer my fucking question, I'll let you touch my abs or something."
"Shit Vicky, that's all you had to say. What do you wanna know?" I'm gonna use her abs like a pillow so help me god.
"You're so weird." She shakes her head. "First, is that how you know so much about me?"
"Basically yeah, you in particular have to go through stuff I wouldn't wish on anyone so I'm not opposed to changing that." I tell her with a wince, yeah, Vicky in Worm got dealt a horrible hand as everything slowly crumbles down around her. Ward's shit though but the fault lies on Wibbles for that. Vicky deflates at my words.
"I see. Guess I should have expected things would get worse."
"Always gets worse, also, don't be a fucking moron and charge at Crawler. His acid will fuck you up to near death." Might as well get that outta the way.
"The Nine are showing up here!? What the hell?!" And now she's panicking, wonderful.
"I probably butterflied that away, maybe, if they show up I'll just kill em." Let's see Jack try his master bullshit when I'm full seafood. Then again, most places won't be surviving full seafood. "I think I can kill most of them. Maybe."
"You talking about killing makes me feel uneasy."
"To be brutally honest, I hope after I kill Jack they kill me." Hatchet Face, Manton, and Crawler surely can figure something out. Death will come to me eventually.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Vicky buries her face in her hands and groans. "Do I have a bad breakup with Dean, is that why you said it wasn't healthy?" Oh, well I'm lying on this one. Not gonna just say 'Oh no, he fucking dies.' That's kinda a dick move.
"Your guy's relationship ends fully in May." Cus, Dean fucking dies to the bitch that tried killing me. Wish green and scaly succeeded not gonna lie. And I wasn't really wrong about the relationship thing anyways, those types of relationships hardly ever work and if they even reach marriage most end in divorce. Not saying it was doomed, but that's kinda exactly what I was saying.
"Okay, you can touch my abs now." Vicky nods to herself, her blonde long locks bobbing with her. "I want to ask more questions later."
"I want to touch them directly, and use them as a pillow and you have a deal."
"Why are you trying to negotiate on touching my body? Do you like me that much?"
"No, I just like your abs, thighs, and hair. You have pretty eyes too I guess." I shrug, can't let her get a big head. "Deal or no deal?"
"Fine." She says after a moment with her brow scrunched up. "You're still weird."
"I'm aware, follow me the bed works better for this."
"I'm not sleeping with you."
"I am aware, I just want abs." Okay, I might like girl abs a bit too much, but god damnit muscle girls are the best!
We go up to my room, and Vicky pulls her black turtleneck up to expose her stomach.
Spoiler:excuse the bad anime art, ai-chan did its best okay
I am satisfied with this.
"Stop staring at my stomach, fuck it I'm just gonna lay down." Vicky goes to do so. I may have an unhealthy obsession with girl abs now that I actually think about it. Too late to go back, I'm already resting my head on her.
"Glorious abs. Do you know how rare a girl with abs is here, Lisa doesn't have abs either."
"Are you really talking about other girls? Is this another tactic to get rid of me?" Vicky complains as I rest my cheek on her skin. Looking at her face proves difficult with the mountains in the way. "Flip over, stop staring at my tits."
"You uncomfortable? Sorry." I do as asked, I just wanna sleep on abs.
"Not really? It's just weird, Dean doesn't like the fact I'm more muscular than him. You seem to worship it. It's different, and a bit weird." I cry in swimmer build.
"He's missing out, also I'd ask your sister if she could make me swole but that would just piss her off."
"It really would." Vicky mumbles, then she and I just slip into a comfortable silence, which is kinda weird considering I'm using her as a pillow. Then I feel her hands going through my hair, gently brushing through it.
"Why you touching my hair?"
"Gives me something to do. You have nice hair."
"Thank's, I guess." I just go back to laying on abs.
"Thanks for not being an asshole today."
"Misogyny doesn't work at getting someone to go away when the girl leans into it." I answer her. "So no point in it, I had to try something else."
"Showing your weird kinks? I don't think that's working considering I'm letting you use my abs as a pillow."
"You noticed huh? I gave up halfway through and just decided I'd follow through on this cus I actually wanted to do it, getting rid of you or not. You're the weird one here Vicky, stop going along with my crazy bullshit." She keeps brushing through my hair without saying anything for a while after that. Then she seemingly makes up her mind on something.
"I'll think about it." Vicky that's the vaguest shit ever you stupid dumb blonde muscle bimbo!
"Whatever." I just sigh and press my face into her abs. Stop chuckling Vicky, you're ruining this for me.
...
Vicky left a few hours later after only semi-forcing me to agree to go to some photo shoot on Monday, after her classes. Who the fuck does anything on a Monday? That's blasphemous.
Still, that leaves me once again alone. "Woof!" Mostly alone on a Saturday.
"What do you think I should do Big Boy? Your mom's been ghosting me all day. It feels weird not having her check-in." I look up at the dog who is panting right in my face, getting his drool and slobber everywhere. I'm currently upside down on his bed, the loveseat, legs halfway on the wall and head hanging at eye-to-eye level with the dog.
"Borf!" Said the dog. Then said dog just tilts his head then pads over to his water bowl and starts drinking.
"I like the way you think buddy, drinking is the best idea I've heard today." I nod my head while still upside down. Yes, this is the way. Drinking my problems away is a classic. Am I an alcoholic? Probably at this point, yeah. "Let's make sure your bowls are full first, yeah?"
"Woof woof!" Double woof, he liked that.
...
"Whazt did the blonde say what she warlked into the bar?" I slur to my new best friends; Donny, Kyle, Jim, Kurt, and Danny. Bunch of older guys with humor as dumb as mine that I met at the bar. Donny saw my order and challenged me to a drinking match which I trounced him in. Even before power bullshit I was good at holding my liquor so it was a cakewalk. That earned me the respect of him and his pals, and so they invited Danny and Kurt to join us when those two walked into the bar.
They keep calling Danny 'Mr. Boss Man' and I feel like I'm too drunk to remember something important. But it can't be that important cus I can't remember it. Logic. Wait, I was in the middle of a joke. "Ouch, cus she walked into a bar!" They all laugh at that. Man, these guys will laugh at anything. Good crowd.
"Holy shit kid you're killing it, how's a fancy-looking dude like you get so good at drinking?" Kurt asks with a chuckle.
"Lots of practice." I down my drink and they all laugh. Wait was that funny? I'm too drunk for this I swallow the alcohol and join in on the laughing.
"So, Rory, you new to de area thadn? Don think we've seen ya around here before." Jim asks and I nod.
"Relatuv of mine an left me a lighthouse. Got gere few months back." I tell them with a nod that almost sends me ass over tea kettle. They all go rather quiet at that.
"You're old man McGrath's nephew?" Danny, the soberest of us asks after a moment.
"Yessir, didn't know tha old man though." I say with a shake of my head.
"Well your old uncle threw quite a bit of work our way, consider you always welcome here kiddo." Danny says with a laugh and Kurt slaps my back. Luckily I had regained my balance by then. "Take a glass for old man McGrath boys, we have the new McGrath right here!"
"Round on the house Danny, man did good by us!" The barkeep calls back and everyone cheers (like a reddit story heh.) Huh, it feels weird hearing about the old man. Might have to actually look into him after enjoying said free booze.
I'm mid-way through chugging back an actually pretty good beer (canned shit back where I'm from is all ass, and most of the canned shit here too) when my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. Who the fucks calling me? Only like, two people have my number. That being Lisa and Vicky who bullied it out of me earlier.
"Yer phone buzzing Rory." Donny points out from his place next to me, and I see Danny make a face.
"Shoulrd prob tag this." I grumble as I get out of my seat. "Dont waiy up, keep drinking boys!" They give a good chuckle as I walk outside the bar for some quiet. I walk a bit away from the door and clumsily fish out my phone.
"Yallow?"
"Where are you?" Lisaaaa monaaa lissaaa calling mee after no- I can't finish the rhyme I'm too drunk for this.
"Bar near da docks, havin fun."
"I'll come pick you up."
"You don driv-" Dial tone… fucks sake Lisa. Fuck her, I'm drinking with the older bros tonight. I go back in and completely forget about this.
...
"I'm taking this one home." Why's arm on me? Oh hey is a Lisa. Lisaaaa why.
"That's old mans McGrath's boy, your gon have to go through us firs." Kyle blusters.
"I know Rory very well. You don't need to worry about me." Lisa scowls, I give Kyle a pat on the shoulder, I've known this man for a single night and he's loyal already, good friend.
"It aight, you guys hav fun drinkin stoll, come by the lighthouse sometime boys!" I call to a few cheers and goodbyes as Lisa drags me out. Once we're outside I hit her with a classic. "Lisa please, you're tearing me apart Lisa!"
"Just shut up and get in the car." Lisa pushes me around. I'm gentle Lisa stop pushing meee. Is this a corolla? I think it's a corolla. Back seats comfortable. Oh hey, there's a dude in the driver seat. If that's not Brian I'll sue someone.
"Sup Brian." I give him a little wave as Lisa gets in the passenger side and buckles up.
"Lisa, what the fuck?"
"Just drive, lighthouse by the northern ferry station." She answers and we're off.
"Sro Brian, how's Taylor? Waiy ur not together yet. How's ur sister?"
"Lisa, what the actual fuck!?"
"He's a powerful Thinker okay!?" Lisa snaps at Brian, rood.
"Nah, that's lie. Whoa oh oh oh oh, Monaaaa Lisaaaaa, You're guaranteed to run this town. Wait you are, I stan with warlord Lisa, begone Coil scum." Lisa slams her hands on the dash.
"Please, please Rory, shut the fuck up."
"Okay, is Aisha listening?" I feel around the back seat a bit, there is no child. "Wait she hasn't trigged yet."
"My sister triggers?! Lisa, he can predict triggers!?" Brian shouts at the Lisa. Lisa lets her head thunk against her seat and whimpers.
...
A short while later we get to my lighthouse and I'm mostly sober. And kinda really annoyed.
"Thanks for the ride, Brian. I can just walk home from here after." Lisa thanks her rather aggrieved-looking teammate.
"I'd rather not give a ride to your drunk Thinker boyfriend again."
"That's fair." I nod at that and stretch after getting out of the car.
"He's not my boyfriend!" Lisa exclaims. Gee Lisa, you harass me enough you'd think otherwise. It's like all the downsides and none of the fun stuff. Fun stuff meaning sex. And cuddles. Cuddles are very nice. Hell, we share a dog!
"Sure, got it. See you whenever you decide to show up I guess." Brian shakes his head and closes Lisa's door for her. Then he drives off.
"That's not- Fuck, let's just go inside." I just shake my head and unlock the lighthouse. Lisa seems more stressed than usual but I'm still half drunk and really pissed off.
We get inside and before we get in too far I pull Lisa to the wall and pin her against it in a classic kabedon. "What the hell was that for!?" She screeches.
"What do you want, Lisa? I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was making friends and having a good time. Wasn't that what you wanted?" I ask her as I lean over her, looking deep in her dark bottle-green eyes.
"I just, I wanted to recap the las-"
"Bullshit." I interrupt. "You don't know what you want, do you? When was the last time you could read me, Lisa? Days ago? Weeks ago?"
"I can read you just fine." She growls.
"You're lying, badly. I've found you snooping through my psych books, Lisa." She looks away at that. I bring a hand up to her chin and drag her face to look back at me, so I can see her eyes. "You always want to be the smartest in the room, but you can't read me and it pisses you off. More than that, however..." I lean my head down and capture her lips in my own. They're soft and slightly chapped. Her mouth has a bit of swelling on the left side of her bottom lip where I presume she bit it in her fight with Oni Lee. Or somewhere else, who knows really.
Lisa, contrary to almost everything she's said tonight leans into it, wrapping a hand around my waist as my slightly drunken self runs a hand up hers to her chest. She has no noticeable taste, but I think that's just the alcohol fogging my brain. Her lips, however, I can say are soft and pliant, they move following my lead. Then I realize something and pull back, Lisa pants for breath as mine remains steady. She still needs to breathe and is clearly not used to what we just did.
"Why… Why did you stop?" She hesitantly asks after a moment and I look her in the eyes. She's still unsure for fucks sake. Mood thoroughly ruined, I pull back with a shake of my head.
"Go home, Lisa. Figure out what you want first." I hate being the older one here. I started liking Lisa as a character when I was fourteen, younger than her, but Lisa the person is nearly four years younger than me. I'm not angsting about age here. I'm angsting about Lisa being a confused mess of a person and what little morality and respect I have for her says I should let her get her head clear first. If she comes back? I'm fucking her until there's a Lisa imprint on the bed.
"What? I thought…" I shake my head and fully step away at her words, walking over to the tap and pouring myself a glass of water.
"I'm not gonna say no. Just figure out what the fuck you wanna do then come back. For now, get lost, Lisa." She goes to argue then sees the look I'm giving her and shuts up. I'm adding 'Can make Lisa shut up' to my resume now. That's an achievement.
I turn around and chug the water. The door closes loudly behind my back.
I hate being responsible. And I hate actually liking people again. Fuck you Lisa, you started all this. I sigh as I palm the glass in my hand. And now I'm not even drunk.
Suicide is much easier. For everyone.