THC/The Houses Competition

House: Gryffindor

Category: Standard

Class: Potions

Prompt(s): [Emotion] Fear [Genre] Drama

Words: 1995

Summary: Remus has a dark secret he doesn't want anyone to know about, but what he wants and what is are two different things.

Title: My Little Secret

Remus had always feared that someone would discover his deepest, darkest secret: that he was a werewolf. When growing up, his father would always tell him not to let anyone find out under any circumstances. When he was at an age where he could understand, his father sat him down and explained that werewolves were monsters, abominations to the wizarding world. If anyone found out what he was, he would never be treated the same again. Werewolves were put on a registration, limiting their freedom. Jobs became few and far between, with no one wanting a werewolf working for them. Living arrangements became hard, and it was difficult to find a place to call home. The moment the neighbors found out that the Lupins had a werewolf living with them, they were chased out of the neighborhood with little to no remorse. Most of the homeless witches and wizards that were seen panhandling in Hogsmeade were werewolves who were unable to get jobs.

Remus lived his life afraid to leave the house, afraid that someone would take one look at him and would know what he was. His father taught him to always to keep his head down, never to make eye contact with anyone, and only speak when he had to. He became known as the shy boy, with people believing he was just timid. Others believed he was withdrawn and tried to get him to play with the other kids. His father would never allow it, always coming up with an excuse for why he couldn't go and play. His father would pull him aside after, telling him that he was too dangerous to play with the other kids and he was to stay by his side when in public.

When he got to Hogwarts, his fear increased, terrified that his classmates would figure out what he was, and once his friends, James, Sirius and Peter, found out, he thought that it was over. Remus thought that his life would be over, that his friends would tell everyone what he was, the danger that he posed to everyone. He would be kicked out of Hogwarts and be put on a registration. His father and mother would be sentenced to Azkaban for keeping his condition a secret. He'd be left alone; no family would want to take in a werewolf child, but to his surprise, his friends didn't tell anyone. Instead, they helped him to hide his condition from the rest of the school.

Remus knew that he was lucky. It could have just as easily gone the other way. Remus soon became more comfortable and more confident with the help of his friends. He no longer walked with his head down; he didn't hide away from his peers. He was finally feeling like he had a life. That was until one day when he was brutally reminded that everyone still hated werewolves and saw them as nothing more than monsters.

Remus made his way into class, defense against the dark arts. He sat down in the back as always; at first, it was to keep himself away from the other students, to make himself invisible, but now it was so he and his friends could fool around. Sadly, for today, he was attending class alone since James, Sirius, and Peter had to stay behind and clean up the mess they made in Professor McGonagall's classroom during transfiguration, without magic. Remus could still feel the shiver that went down his spine when he heard his Professor tell his friends that they would be cleaning up their mess, one way or another.

He sat his bookbag by his feet as his Professor came storming into the room and up to the front, using his wand to turn on the projector. Remus felt his heart stop when an image of a werewolf showed up on the projector sheet. Remus had never felt fear like this before. He suddenly felt nauseous as cramps ripped through his stomach. He could feel his hands start to sweat, his mouth going dry as his heart pounded in his chest. This was it; everyone was going to figure out what he was.

"So," Professor Merrythought began, "Can some of you describe to me the nature of a werewolf?" Remus felt his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach at the question as he looked around at his classmates for a quick second.

"Monsters, that's what they are!" Remus heard a Hufflepuff yell out from the front of the class.

"They're dangerous," a Gryffindor behind him spoke.

"Yes, they should be kept away, exactly," another one of Remus's housemates agreed. "They would kill you the moment they saw you"

"To be honest, these things deserve nothing but death," A Slytherin girl added before the Professor raised her hand to put a stop to the comments.

Remus lowered his head to the desk to hide the tears that started falling. How could everyone think so badly of him? He would never hurt any of them; he had never done anything to any of them and yet, they viewed him as some kind of hideous monster. Remus kept his head down for the rest of the class, doing his best to ignore the hurtful comments that his classmates made about werewolves and what should be done with them. He could have sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times. Remus tried to push his fear down. 'They don't know, they don't know, they don't know,' Remus reminded himself over and over again until the class ended.

Remus spent the next week in his dorm room, avoiding everyone as they wrote their paper on how to identify a werewolf in its human form. Increased strength, speed and agility. The ability to quickly heal their wounds and the heightened senses. Remus didn't want anyone to catch on that he had any of these abilities. He thought he hid them well enough, but if friends could figure out what he was, there was always a chance that someone else could, and they might not be as kind about it. It wasn't until Lily threatened to drag him out by his ears that he ventured out of his dorm and took a walk around the grounds before the weather got too cold to do so. He and Lily made their way to the bridge, stopping momentarily to take a look, admiring the view Hogwarts had to offer.

"Remus," Lily spoke softly as she tightened her scarf around her neck to protect herself from the cold wind that rushed through the tunnel of the bridge. "You've been distant this past week. I hardly ever see you outside of class. I'm starting to get worried," she confessed.

Remus looked out, unable to meet Lily's eyes. He should have known this would happen. Lily always seemed to have this ability to tell when something was wrong. He could play it off as being unwell to James, Sirius and Peter. Lily on the other hand was able to see straight through his lie. She could see that something was bothering him, and he doubted she would leave before getting an answer out of him, but nevertheless, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Remus, please don't brush off my concerns," Lily pleaded. "I can clearly see that something is wrong, something is bothering you, and I'm not going to leave here until you tell me what's been troubling you," she explained.

Remus pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked over at Lily with tears in his eyes. "I can't," he said as his voice cracked.

"Since when?" Lily asked. "We always told each other things. You know more about me than anyone. You're my best friend! Whatever it is, it won't change that. I'm not going to judge you…I…I just want to help. I can see that you are hurting. Please, tell me what it is, and we can work through it. It can't be that bad," she implored.

"You'd be surprised," Remus scoffed. He couldn't think of a worse thing to tell Lily, but something deep inside of him told him it was going to be ok. "...I'm…I'm…I can't do it with you looking at me; turn around," he instructed.

Lily simply nodded as she turned around, lowering her head as she waited for Remus to tell her what was wrong.

Remus took in a deep breath; the urge to turn around and run away screamed at him, but he kept his ground. He needed to do this. The small voice in his head told him it would be alright. "...I'm…I'm a…werewolf…I'm a werewolf!" Remus cried. "I'm a werewolf. I've always been one…I'm a monster," he sobbed.

Lily stood still for a moment as she took in what Remus told her. It was a surprise, but she had to admit it made lots of sense, and she felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. Remus disappearing during the full moon, his stays in the Hospital Wing, his sudden mood swings, it all screamed werewolf. Who couldn't see it?

"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," Lily said after a long moment of silence. She turned around to face Remus once more. "I've seen plenty of monsters, and you aren't one."

Remus's eyes widened at Lily's response. That wasn't what he was expecting. "...but everyone says—"

"I don't give a damn what anyone says, and neither should you," Lily cut Remus off before he could finish his sentence. "People are idiots. They believe that werewolves are evil without even meeting one. Well, my best friend is a werewolf, and he's pretty great," she explained with a smile. "There is no shame in being a werewolf, none whatsoever and that last thing you said: it makes you a monster? You cried when you had to kill that bat for potion class. A monster wouldn't cry over that," she pointed out.

"...I didn't cry," Remus mumbled.

"There were tears," Lily confirmed before stretching out her arms and taking Remus in for a hug. "Look, I don't care that you are a werewolf. It makes no difference to me. I mean…I'm not that fun to be around three days out of the month either," she joked as she pulled away and cleaned up Remus's tears with her gloves. "Just promise me no more secrets from each other, and I don't want to hear you calling yourself a monster anymore. You're not a monster, and if I hear you calling yourself that, I will have no choice but to put a spell on you," she half-teased with a smile.

Remus couldn't help but return the smile. "I promise," he agreed as he suddenly felt how cold it was getting. "Come on, I'll take you to the castle," he said as he wrapped his arm around Lily and brought her in closer to keep her warm.

"Honestly, with the way you were acting I thought you were going to tell me that you and Sirius finally got together," Lily admitted as she let out a laugh, tilting her head back a little.

"I am not gay! Sirius and I are not gay!" Remus retorted, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

Lily hummed in response, leaning her weight against Remus as they walked back to the castle. "Keep telling yourself that, but when you two finally do tie the knot, I want to be the first one to know," she said.

Remus just rolled his eyes again. "Right, In the unlikely event that Sirius and I get together, you will be the first person that I tell," he agreed, letting out a small chuckle.

"That's all I ask," Lily said as she and Remus continued their way to the castle in silence. The fear that Remus was feeling for the past week disappeared, and the heavy weight he felt crushing his chest was gone, knowing that his best friend accepted what he was.