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32

ma moitie

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They didn't waste any time getting married. They'd already lost so much time and to both of them the wedding was just a formality to what they already knew in their hearts, what they already were. Still, it was a big celebration and they booked out a massive shelter in Ohio and decorated to the nines with flowers and lights and hooked up speakers so everyone could hear everything. They wanted to invite everyone they cared about and the turn out was huge.

Sebastian and Kurt had former classmates, friends, coworkers, partners, former lovers and family turn up. Kurt managed to convince Sebastian to ask his blood relatives but Sebastian still left it to the last minute, knowing they wouldn't come and didn't want them to. His parents didn't, but he was surprised by his little siblings showing their faces and looking less wooden and corpse-like than they had the last time he'd seen them. They actually smiled and talked to him and Kurt.

They'd kept in contact after that too, only getting closer over time. It was another thing that he had to thank Kurt for. He always saw the good and always kept reaching out even when burned and had his hand slapped.

They had the wedding in Ohio because most of their friends and family were from there and New York didn't have anything on such short notice that would accommodate such a large group and their vision.

Even Dave Karofsky's parents, Chandler. Blaine and Dani showed up to the wedding in Ohio. While Ohio would never really be home to either man ever again, it only made the most sense. Those who had the better means to travel were the ones outside of Ohio and there were a lot of homes opened up to those who hadn't grown up there.

They gave people just enough time to make plans or change their plans but not enough to really sit on it. Ohio while they passed legislation allowing gay-marriage still had a lot of people against it and so they subverted all expectations until the moment they walked down the aisle, together.

They did away with groomsmen and bridesmaids and anyone who wanted to stand up there with them, could, it was a giant circle with them at the center and their entire guestlist stood and applauded not just at the entrance but throughout the ceremony. They had an efficient from the county office and photographers and journalists were only allowed on a very short list.

It was a very successful event and the whole time was nothing but fun and emotional journeys of happiness with each other by their side and shared with all those they cared about and who had stood by them throughout everything. They hadn't spent the night apart leading up to it and it did nothing to hinder their magical weekend.

Kurt surprised him even though they had planned everything together. Kurt gave his vows entirely in French. Sometimes it caused a chuckle to escape out of Sebastian or a tear and it was so incredibly moving and if there had been any doubts at that point, they were obliterated with Kurt's words. He didn't translate a single word for their audience and it was ok, it wasn't for them, it was for Sebastian. Kurt admitted he'd hired 4 native French speakers to help translate it and make sure that it hit right before saying it to Sebastian, he'd wanted it to be perfect. Even if he stuttered through it and made a thousand blunders and offended any French speakers, it still would have been perfect for Sebastian. Kurt really was his coeur and moitie. He could never be anything else, upgraded from purely chouchou and petit chou so long ago. And Sebastian would forever be his tresor.

They took off for a two week honeymoon across Europe and returned home with nothing outwardly changed except the rings on their fingers but internally things were the same and yet so much more too.

They lived life to the fullest and enjoyed each other's company and the world around them for about a year following their wedding. There was only one time they slept apart in that year and it was when there was an emergency in Tokyo with Vogue that Kurt had to go oversee.

It was the longest week of Sebastian's life, even though they called each other constantly, but they were hours apart physically as well as on the time clock and they didn't always realize what time they were reaching out to the other. Sebastian never complained but he knew Kurt was running on fumes by the end of the week and a phone call in the middle of the night probably wasn't helping. Sebastian wasn't sleeping well while he was gone either. Kurt didn't murmur a protest though, just spoke softly and comfortingly and happy to hear Sebastian's voice.

They'd had so much sex when Kurt came back from that trip.

Sebastian thought everything was perfect.

He thought that way up until he walked in and found Kurt on the couch, waiting for him, wearing their hoodie. Sebastian swallowed hard and dropped his keys in the bowl and kicked off his shoes, joining Kurt on the couch. It wasn't cold enough to wear the hoodie outside but it was obviously a comfort thing. Sebastian had a feeling he was the one who was going to need it after whatever Kurt had to say.

"Sebastian, I love you so much and I love our life together as it is." Kurt started, scooting over to take Sebastian's hands. "I can't lie and say I don't want anything to change though, things have to change and I can't continue on like this. I'm content but I'm not as happy as I could be."

"What are you trying to say?" Sebastian felt his heart twisting in his chest. There was no way Kurt was going back on all the things he'd ever said, right?

"I've given it a chance but it's not working out." Kurt took a hand away to run through his own hair, a sure sign that he was in distress and it only cemented things for Sebastian.

"You're going back on the road again." Sebastian surmised, it was too obvious. Kurt had been looking through more and more travel magazines, looking upset whenever he turned Isabelle down on a trip abroad.

"Not as much as I had been but I'm needed on the road, for both Vogue and Hum & Tweet. I'm one of the faces of one company and the right hand man for the other. They both need me out there, meeting people, making deals, selling our brand."

Sebastian sank back against the couch, just utterly defeated and exhausted suddenly. He'd lost out to the road once more. There was no one else for Sebastian, and their rings, promises and history would have to sustain him in the time between seeing and talking to Kurt. He wouldn't break up with Kurt, of course not, it would just be hard. It had already been hard on the very, very long days Kurt was putting in at the office but Sebastian had always known Kurt would be there in their bed at the end of the day. This was going to be gone once more. He'd always answer that call, he'd always open his arms when Kurt was there physically, but it would slowly kill him but he would have to survive off the scraps, the moments he got with Kurt. He would have to get used to knowing that any given weekend, Kurt was more likely in a different city and dates and plans would have to be put on hold for a chance of being able to do it the next time he was in town and hoping that it wouldn't get cut short with another emergency elsewhere.

"Baby, hold on, I see you spiraling." Kurt crawled over Sebastian's lap and sat on his knees and held Sebastian's face in his hands. "It's not exactly what you're envisioning. I told you I didn't want to be away from you as much as I had been, that's true still. It wasn't sustainable for either of us and I saw the toll it was taking on not only each of us individually but on our relationship. Our relationship is still the more important thing to me and I'm unwilling to jeopardize it."

"But it's hurting our relationship that you can't be out there on the road. I knew you would grow to resent me for holding you here more." Sebastian ignored how this position was easy to excite him, they were talking about something serious.

"I don't want to be away from New York as much as I was either, but I do miss the road. I was hoping we could find a happy medium? I'll only take the emergencies and the ones that interest me, the ones that interest both of us?" Kurt dangled in front of Sebastian.

"What are you saying? I get veto power on a trip as long as it isn't an emergency?" Because Sebastian would probably veto everything.

"No..." Kurt's eyes sparkled. "As you've already shown, you're able to take really long breaks from work without consequence but I would never ask that of you. I can also take breaks from work without being missed too much that the place burns down. I'm not exactly desiring to leave for as long as I had, but a balance can definitely be achieved..."

Sebastian just looked at him and Kurt's smile grew. He was just not getting what Kurt was getting at.

"Perhaps a song will be easier for you to digest what I'm getting at." Kurt pressed a kiss to Sebastian's temple. "It's the way we both have seen through all the BS before though we have gotten better at communicating with words too. I've just been sitting on this song for awhile. I wrote it for you even before the accident and I didn't know if I would need to sing it until recently."

I'm packin' my bags that I didn't unpack the last time.

I'm sayin' "See you again," so many times, it's becoming my tagline.

But you know the truth, I'd rather hold you than try to catch this flight.

So many things I'd rather say, but for now it's goodbye.

You say I'm always leavin'

You, when you're sleepin' alone.

I'm starin' at the same four walls in a different hotel.

Oh, but you know the truth, I'd rather hold you than this mobile in my hand.

But I guess it'll do, 'cause for you I would run up my phone bill.

Oh, darling, all of the city lights never shine as bright as your eyes.

I would trade them all for a minute more.

But the car's outside and he's called me twice but he's gonna have to wait tonight.

Don't wanna leave you anymore. I'm tired of lovin' from afar. And never being where you are.

Close the windows, lock the doors.

I'm not getting' the Addison Lee unless you pack your bags.

You're comin' with me.

No, I don't wanna leave you anymore.

You're comin' with me. You're comin' with me.

Sebastian breathed out heavily. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about it even before the accident, it was such a simple and beautiful idea but I was afraid of what you'd say. You had already changed your career and while you were settled, I didn't know if you could or would want to do it. I guess I still don't know fully, but I was hoping-."

"Yes Kurt, yes, a million times yes! I would quit my job and just travel with you if I didn't know we'd both dislike that in the long run. This is the perfect solution."

There'd still be times when both had commitments which wouldn't allow them to travel together but sometimes Kurt would go and Sebastian would catch up when things settled down in his job and allowed him to travel to Kurt's side. Sebastian still had travels that he had to go on and sometimes it overlapped with Kurt's trips but usually Kurt tried to avoid that if he knew ahead of time. Sometimes he would give up his trip to go with Sebastian, even if it was a last minute change of plans. Isabelle was cool with it, sometimes she went instead.

Bumps along the road still happened, of course they did. They had the strength to get through it. While it may not be physically possible at all moments of the day, they were always together, there for the other and having each other's back, lifting them up or encouraging them to stand taller.

They were able to withstand the time apart knowing they were still together even when apart and that was just a physical separation that wouldn't last. They'd never leave the other one behind, they would take the other with them.

–

Fin

6/18/2023

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I did change up the lyrics/order/wording/removed lines a little for this one but it was still the same idea just fits better for the narrative flow this way. Car's Outside by James Arthur and the Addison Lee line- it's British but I didn't mind keeping it since Kurt had been in a relationship with Adam for so long, he just picked it up from him, just like mum, lol. There are more songs that fit this theme I discovered as I was writing this but I won't mention them here.

Other potential Held chapter titles that just didn't fit into the story: Everything; Name; Months; Weeks; Years; Moments; Attraction; Imagination; Reason; Prospects; Potential; Fate; Passion; Possibilities; Death; Kills/Killed; Fight; Me; Me In; What We Had; Mind; Apologies; Song; Kiss; Fear; On.

EAN: For me, this story is like a hug, a very comforting and lasting as long as it needs to, hug. I wrote it for many different reasons and it's unlike my regular stories. I wanted to sit in moments and not just rush through the hard parts, the hard parts are the ones that were the most important, the ones when you weren't quite sure what would happen next and had to face it head on and not just flip through it as we normally do in stories. This whole story started out as a way for me to really carry through the sense of struggle with hope and powerlessness that can go into someone being taken away and waiting for them to come through the door, wanting them to come back and thinking they will while always knowing they wont. I've lost someone I cared about in a permanent way. I've lost others in near permanency. This gets to resolve in a way we all wish it would but doesn't in real life while still being real and true to life in the journey. Also true to life – hard moments seem to drag forever but sometimes some parts of it are over in a flash and those might be the ones we wanted to last just a bit longer, so we could say what we needed to or just feel.

Also all of this was (mostly) Sebastian's point of view because I wanted to explore how memory and person thoughts/feelings can differ from what's really happening, especially in the moment but at the same time, what the person is experience is really happening.

Thank you everyone who has stuck with this story, I really appreciate all of you!