"You know, love doesn't mean 'I never want you to change.' But I don't think it means "I don't care how you change," either. So I suppose it might mean "I believe you'll always be the person I adore." A declaration of faith, perhaps."

-Nakatani Nio

oOo

I saw the advertisement for Aimer's concert by chance. I had been on the way to the supermarket, intending to purchase the groceries that I would require to sustain myself for the next couple of weeks. Nee-san had decided to visit my apartment once more, again without any prior notice being given. This was nothing new; my complaints had always fallen on deaf ears. But it meant that I would have an extra mouth to feed, for at least a couple of days. Not to mention that I also wanted to avoid her presence as much as possible, so going out for groceries was a win-win situation.

Anyways, I had been leaning against a pole on the gently rocking train, feeling particularly gloomy at the prospect of another few days with my sister, when I noticed the advertisement, right at the top above the door. Aimer would apparently be holding a concert in Tokyo as part of her soleil et pluie Hall Tour. Since I knew Aimer to be a very private singer-songwriter; someone who did fewer live concerts compared to most singers, a live concert tour certainly drew my interest. I quickly navigated to Aimer's website, which had tour locations and dates. Seeing that tickets were available but selling fast for the Tokyo concerts and that they would be occurring over our summer break, I purchased a ticket quickly.

I had never attended an Aimer concert before, but I had watched a few recordings and clips of her singing live. The thought of the opportunity to see her perform in person was enough to cheer my mood up significantly. Indeed, even after my grocery shopping trip had come to a close and I had returned home, somehow the thought of cohabiting with my sister for the next few days no longer seemed like such an unbearable prospect.

The last week or so of classes wound down quickly. Most of the class was ready for the break. We'd been pushing hard through quite a few difficult units of coursework in all of our classes, and it was easy to tell that the class was losing motivation to continue at the breakneck pace of study. A couple of my classmates had completely checked out mentally. Hikigaya-kun was reading his fifth light novel since he joined us mid-semester, but then again he'd never paid much attention to classes in the first place. A part of me still wondered how he managed to get into Soubu, much less our class. But I suppose that might be something I'd never be able to find out.

The last day before break arrived with much fanfare. We had morning classes, and then an afternoon assembly where the principal and then the student council president addressed us, telling us to be careful and not to do anything too imbecilic over break. I suspected that the number of people actually paying attention was in the single digits, if not less.

There were a few more reminders and closing remarks, and then we were dismissed, to cheers and loud whoops from the more exuberant students at our school.

I could never be as expressive as some of my peers, but for once I was also pulled along into that excitement. I had concrete plans for the summer that I had made for myself, rather than simply following along with whatever Mother wanted the family to do, which would be a first. The concert would be held in Tokyo on the third day of break. It was about two hours by train from Chiba to Tokyo, and the concert would start in the late afternoon, so it would be easy to take the morning train out to Tokyo and arrive with more than enough time to spare. The trip home was the more difficult part; the concert ended at nine and was thirty minutes from the station. I would arrive back at Chiba near midnight if I took the late train, which wasn't ideal for a girl traveling alone.

Perhaps things would be easier if I brought someone along? But I didn't want to ask any of my family to go with me. I suppose that I wouldn't have minded Father's presence, but he was much too busy with the Chiba Diet to spare a day for a leisure trip to Tokyo. I was fairly certain that he wasn't very familiar with Aimer's music either. Perhaps if I was ten years younger, he would indulge my wishes.

Was there anyone else that would be willing to come with me? I racked my brain for an answer to that question. My acquaintances outside of my family were relatively few. Most of them were tied to my family in some shape or form. met them at events that we attended as a family.

People like Hayama-kun, or any of the sycophants that my parents insisted on introducing me to. I suspected that if I reached out to any of them, they'd be more than happy to accompany me to Tokyo.

But I had no desire to attend an Aimer concert with any of them. Why would they wish to go? Aimer was simply another singer to them, albeit a fairly popular one within the Japanese musical industry, but it wasn't like she was anyone special. She wasn't their musical inspiration, or anything along those lines.

I had no desire to share something so meaningful with any of those people. It was the reason why nobody knew I played the guitar outside of my family. Or well, I suppose that was no longer true.

Would Hikigaya-kun have wanted to attend an Aimer concert? He probably would have enjoyed it.

That twinge of guilt reared its head within me again, but I tried my best to ignore it. There was nothing that I could do with regards to Hikigaya-kun anymore. Perhaps if I'd apologized earlier, or tried to patch up the situation, things would have been different. But it had been a month now. He'd in all likelihood moved on.

I started searching for hotels in Tokyo instead. I guess a day trip just wasn't possible. It wasn't a big deal; I didn't have too many responsibilities over summer break, after all. As for finding a hotel, I knew that some places had an age restriction in the city, but not every place barred minors from staying there. I found a nice small place that was modest, but looked clean and comfortable, and it specifically mentioned the minimum age to book a room was sixteen. In other words, it was perfect for my needs. I reserved a room for a couple of nights. Tanabata would be held in the city around the same time as the concert as well, so I figured that I could stay an extra day or two and browse the festival.

I know that I could have simply asked my parents to reserve a room in Tokyo for me. I would need an excuse to go, since Mother disapproved of my musical interests. It probably would not have been too difficult. There were always plenty of events that I could feign interest in and ask them to let me attend. But in the end, I decided to keep this trip a secret. Somehow, it didn't feel right to tell my family about this concert.

oOo

I was quite fond of the Shinkansen. It was an efficient and easy-to-use mode of transportation; and it made our country so much more accessible than it had been in the past. For example, it used to be a logistical nightmare to visit Hokkaido from the Tokyo area. Now, it was only a ten hour train ride away.

My trip to Tokyo started without a hitch. The Shinkansen arrived right on schedule, and I spent the two hour travel time reading The Housekeeper and the Professor. It was such a strange, but beautiful novel.

Still, from the very first pages of the story, I felt a strong sense of deja vu. The main character, who also served as the narrator, was known only as the Housekeeper. She maintained the house of the Professor, a man obsessed with mathematics. But the deja vu really hit me when, right from the get go, the reader is told that the Professor suffered a car accident in the distant past within the story, an eerily similar case to the accident that involved Hikigaya-kun. I wondered if that was the reason I'd felt quite disquieted while reading the story.

The accident itself did not seem to have physically impaired the Professor at all, but it left permanent damage on his memory. He could only recall events which happened within the past eighty minutes.

Perhaps in defiance of his condition, or perhaps simply out of a love for mathematics, the Professor kept important notes for the equations and theorems that he worked on on Post-it notes, which he proceeded to stick all over the suits that he obstinately chose to wore, despite the fact that he very rarely ventured outside of his home. He dedicated his life to algebraic number theory, and the Housekeeper was the tenth Housekeeper in the seventeen years since his accident. It seemed as though he was difficult to work for.

It was easy to understand why. The Professor obviously could not recall the Housekeeper and what she was doing in the house during most days. He was also quite needy, as his notes needed to be collected and placed in specific order on his suits. He also needed constant reminders, and would likely forget important memos if she did not repeatedly point them out to him. She would also have to repeat simple instructions over and over again. It was a small wonder that she didn't quit out of frustration after the first week.

These scenes bothered me immensely as well. Something kept tickling the back of my memories. Something important, but no matter how earnestly I wracked my memories, I could not discern the reason for my uneasiness.

The Housekeeper's son was the third character of the story, a ten-year-old who shared a common bond with the professor in that they both loved the same baseball team, the Hanshin Tigers. I was not a huge baseball fan, but even I knew that the Tigers played for Nishinomiya. So the professor likely hailed from the Kansai region, then.

The Professor affectionately named the Housekeeper' son Root, another mathematical reference to the fact that the top of Root's head was flat, much like the top of the square root symbol.

Despite the Professor's memory loss, he formed a close bond with Root. This in turn also helped his relationship with the Housekeeper, as she began to see the Professor's kindness. Everything seemed to be proceeding quite smoothly.

I had just reached the first major conflict within the story when my train arrived in Tokyo. The fourth and final character of the story, the Widow, showed up in order to fire the Housekeeper for breaking the rules; that is for staying past the allotted hours of her work, and bringing personal family members, in this case Root, to the Professor's house. I was quite reluctant to bookmark my page and disembark the train, but of course I had no choice in the matter. So I quickly grabbed my luggage and followed the orderly line of passengers out onto the platform. I figured that I could finish the novel that night in my hotel room.

Tokyo Station was quite busy, especially since it was currently midday. I had to duck and weave around the crowds of people that flowed through the station like ants through an anthill. The hotel that I had reserved was within walking distance of Shinjuku, so I needed to transfer to a local rail line and check into the hotel. Although I had not brought much in the way of luggage since I would only be staying a few nights, my suitcase was still quite bulky and difficult to lug around. My stamina had never been one of my strong suits, and so I wanted to lighten my load as soon as possible.

Eventually, after quite some effort and with the assistance of a kindly station guard, I managed to make my way to the right platform and sat down on a bench to catch my breath and await the next train to Shinjuku.

As I observed the crowds of people moving around me, a small smile rose to my lips. I had, of course, visited Tokyo in the past. There had been plenty of events that my parents had forced me to attend, and we had made plenty of trips to the city throughout my youth. However, whenever we visited Tokyo as a family, we would always be driven there in the family limousine, which meant that we would be chauffeured directly to our hotel. It also meant that we could always avoid the crowds and the general hubbub of the city. Mother would always mention how much of a privilege it was that we could avoid most of what she deemed as the travel inconveniences of Tokyo.

However, sitting on this bench in the middle of Tokyo Station, I couldn't help but smile. There was a certain charm to taking the Shinkansen like any normal high school girl. And I didn't mind walking around, seeing all the stores and booths that dotted the station, peddling their wares.

It felt oddly liberating, knowing that I and I alone could decide where to go and what to do with my time. Knowing that there were no responsibilities that I would have to keep, and no obligations that I needed to make.

For the first time, I was excited to be in Tokyo. There would be so many places to explore.

oOo

The Tanabata festival, or hoshimatsuri, usually began each year on July 7th of the Gregorian calendar. A celebration of love, originating from the Chinese Qixi festival, it was a nationwide festival held over the course of a month. According to legend, Tanabata was the only day of the year in which the deities Orihime and Hikoboshi could meet. There were thousands of variations on the story, but they all held the same ending; that the lovers had been forcibly separated from each other, and that they only had this one day of the year to meet. [7]

The exact date of the Tanabata festival, or the exact date in which it would be celebrated, would vary depending on the region of Japan. In Tokyo, however, it would begin right at the very start, on July 7th, which coincided with the day that I had chosen to arrive in Tokyo. I had chosen to arrive a day earlier than the concert, on account of the fact that I wanted to see what Tanabata was like as a part of the bustling crowds of Tokyo rather than in a secluded area with my family. I wanted to hang up the wishes I'd written on tanzaku on a Wish Tree. I wanted to buy takoyaki from a stall myself instead of having it be brought by a butler or some servant of my mother's, and play carnival games to win small prizes. I'd even brought my yukata, as I felt that not dressing for the occasion would only make me feel awkward and out of place.

After I'd checked into my hotel and deposited my suitcase into my room, I took only a few essentials into my small handbag, changed carefully into my yukata, and left the hotel, heading for the festival which was conveniently being held only a few blocks away.

It was a gorgeous afternoon; the sky was beginning to turn red as sunset approached.

"It appears as though Orihime and Hikoboshi had no trouble meeting today," I murmured quietly to myself as I stepped out of the hotel.

The thought brought a smile to my face as I slipped into the throng of people headed for the celebration.

The entire area designated for Tanabata had been cordoned off well in advance for the festivities. It was a huge area; there were easily twice as many stalls and roadside shops than could be found back home in Chiba. I bought myself some food from the stalls as I had not had lunch and the smells were making me quite hungry.

I ate a box of takoyaki as I watched a couple try their hand at goldfish scooping, and then patronized a different stall for some okonomiyaki. The food was really quite delicious, and I enjoyed the subtle differences in flavor of the Tokyo version of these familiar festival foods in comparison to the food from home.

Another stall sold sweets and other types of desserts, and so I headed over to grab some fish-shaped red bean taiyaki. Of course, this turned out to be a slightly overzealous purchase, as I had already consumed quite a bit of food, and therefore wasn't quite able to finish everything. Still, I tucked the remainder of the taiyaki carefully into my bag, saving it for later.

Typically, Tanabata is celebrated by writing tanzaku, or wishes, down on small pieces of paper and hanging them up on bamboo. Ordinarily, I would make some perfunctory wish and my piece of paper would be hung up in a cluster along with the rest of my family's wishes. As Father was quite important within Chiba politics, there was usually quite some ceremony and fanfare when Mother stepped forward to hang up our wishes on the bamboo grove specifically reserved for the festival back home. Usually, we would be among the first to hang up our wishes, so Mother always encouraged us to prepare beforehand what we wished to write, and so I'd never put much thought into what I wrote down. I knew that a couple sentences about the health and wellbeing of the family would probably suffice.

But here, surrounded by the quiet murmur of conversation from strangers in the middle of a different city, the atmosphere felt different. The moment somehow felt more important, as if the wish that I was soon to place was somehow special. After all, this would be my very own wish. Nobody would ever know that I had even made this wish. It was another small little secret, another memory made on this impromptu trip.

As I took up pen and paper, I wondered to myself what I should write. I had made much of this moment, but now that the time had come for me to elucidate my wishes, it became far more difficult than I had anticipated. Put simply, I realized that there weren't very many things I could wish for myself. Of course, I could make a simple wish; something like wishing to improve in some technical facet of the guitar. Or perhaps I could wish for Mother to finally understand my pursuit of my musical ambitions.

But the practical side of me knew that those weren't true wishes. There was no luck, no fate, no coincidence that typified what a wish should be. I would improve my guitar playing abilities if I committed the time and effort to playing. Mother would likely never come around to my perspective on the guitar, but if I were to have any hope of convincing her it would have to be through my results.

These weren't wishes. They were simply what I desired. What I had to spend my time working towards.

I thought about everything that had happened in the past year. Was there anything that I wished had gone differently? I'd entered a new school, moved out of my family home after one conflict too many, nearly inadvertently killed someone, committed hours upon hours of serious study for the guitar against the will of Mother, and become a guitar teacher only to realize that perhaps I was not suited to teaching.

In other words, I'd begun to take the first few steps towards adulthood. Towards standing on my own two feet. I'd made my mistakes, but I'd also made significant strides towards achieving my dreams.

Thinking back, reflecting on the past few months, it became easy. I knew exactly what I wanted to write.

Without conscious thought, my pen moved across the paper.

oOo

The festival was winding down rather quickly as the hours slid by. My feet had begun to hurt as I'd spent quite a few hours simply walking around the festival, and I was beginning to feel quite fatigued. It seemed an appropriate time to retire back to the hotel, but I took a quick break on an available park bench to rest my feet. I slipped off the geta that I had been wearing, stretching out my legs before me. It felt nice to finally sit down, even if it was what I suspected would be a temporary reprieve.

The wind picked up slightly, a cool breeze blowing through the streets. The temperature had hit thirty earlier in the day, but the evenings were still quite temperate. I was thankful that it hadn't been sweltering hot, Tokyo could sometimes hit forty degrees during the worst summers.

I watched a few families pass by, with the children clutching toys and other trinkets that they had purchased or won from the festival while the parents did their best to make sure that they weren't separated in the crowd. Just as I had stood up, ready to finally make the walk back to the hotel, my phone rang. A quick glance at the caller ID immediately dampened the good mood that I had acquired from the festival. Steeling my resolve, I picked up.

"Good evening, Nee-san."

"Oh goodie, you picked up Yukino-chan!"

I sighed. "Did you require something of me?"

"Oh, not a whole lot. I just came across a teensy tiny problem and I decided that I should probably ask my cute little sister about it."

"Nee-san, I regret to inform you that I am quite exhausted and in no mood to entertain your games at this time. If you could please inform me as to the reason you are calling, it would be very much appreciated."

"Oh calm down Yukino-chan! There's no need to be a stick in the mud about everything! I just wanted to ask you what you're doing right now?"

"I am currently enjoying my summer vacation, Nee-san."

"Humu humu. And where exactly are you enjoying your vacation?"

"At…-at my apartment."

"Oho? Is that your final answer, my dear little sister?"

"What are you implying, Nee-san?"

"Oh nothing! There's nothing for me to imply, Yukino-chan. But you know, I had really been looking forward to today! I'd cleared my schedule of all those annoying obligations to other people that I seem to always be inundated with. Now how does your beautiful older sister decide to spend that precious time? Would she perhaps spend it on a fun night out at the local bar? Or perhaps she'd take the opportunity to catch up with friends that she hasn't seen in a while?"

She paused for dramatic effect, and then continued in a singsong voice, "Nope! Of course not! Because they're not the most important person to me~!"

I already had a fairly good sense of where this conversation was headed. My heart sank.

"So imagine my surprise then, when I arrived at my favorite person in the world's apartment and rang the intercom only to find no answer! Indeed! Where on Earth is my little sister, I asked myself. At first I thought that perhaps you were simply ignoring your poor older sister. The last time you did that you really hurt my feelings, you know?"

I remained silent. Why was it that whenever I really, truly desired something, my family always found a way to ruin it? They always found a way to prevent me from reaching my goal. They always found a way to interfere.

"But luckily, the front desk lady recognized me! How lucky of me, right? She let me in, and she even gave me some free information to go along with the building access. Do you wanna know what they told me?"

"...What did she tell you, Nee-san?" I asked, resigned.

"She mentioned that you left the apartment early this morning! And how you apparently have still not returned! Now now, what naughty things are you up to, Yukino-chan? Hmmm?"

"I…"

"Oooh, is it a boy? Has my precious little sister finally discovered summer love? Are you eloping to a faraway land?"

"...Could I request something from you, Nee-san?"

"Why of course, Yukino-chan! Anything for my little sister; Haruno-nee-san shall do her best to satisfy your every request!"

"Could you not mention my absence to Mother?"

"Oh? It looks like perhaps my initial guess was correct. So who's the lucky guy?"

"I'm not…- I have no intentions of eloping, Nee-san. Your fantasies remain just that: fantasies. Please refrain from making these hasty assumptions."

"Well, if it isn't young love, then it must be guitar that's drawn you away from home! Did you sneak off to some sort of concert? Oh noes, Mother would not be happy to hear about this."

"...I thought that I requested that you keep this a secret from Mother."

"Ah, indeed you did. But you know our Mother; I would rather not lie to her about this. I mean, if it had been a cute boy, I could've covered for you! Oh, Okaa-san, Yukino-chan's found love! Let her enjoy her youth, or something like that. I'm sure it would have been enough to sway her, at least for a little bit."

"But you won't do the same for my music?"

"Yukino-chan, you know how Mother feels about your little hobby. She thinks you're just wasting your time, and if I were to be completely honest, I can't help but agree with her."

"That is simply a falsehood, Nee-san. I'm not wasting my time at all."

"What has guitar done for you, Yukino-chan? Have you joined a band? Won a competition? Obtained money or fame? I mean, have you even played it at your school's talent show?"

"Enough." My voice was wobbling, shaky. I hated that this always happened. I hated that whenever I tried to stand up for what I loved to my family, I would only ever wind up further and further from my goal.

Nee-san's words hurt. They cut deeply. I took a deep breath, trying my very best to calm down. It wouldn't do for a Yukinoshita to be crying on a public park bench in Tokyo.

"Ne Yukino-chan…you really love the guitar, right?" Nee-san's voice was softer now. A little kinder.

"...Yes."

"Then, if you really, truly love it, shouldn't the responsibility fall to you to convince Mother to allow you to pursue it? Shouldn't you convince her, not me, that you're really serious about this? You're in high school now, Yukino-chan. You can't keep running away from Mother forever. I'm always happy to support my little sister, but I think you need to take that first step. Otherwise, I'm afraid that there's really nothing that I can do for you."

Nee-san was silent for a long moment.

"Nee-san. Please. I t-talk to Mother about this all the time, but she never listens. She always tells me about what she thinks my best path forward is and I… nothing I say changes it. There's nothing that I can do to change her mind. Please, just let me have this one thing. Just keep this one secret, for me."

I waited for her answer. I knew, deep down in my gut, that relying on my sister would never lead to happy places. And yet, for a moment, I allowed myself to hope. To hope that she would listen to me for once, even if she was just like my Mother in that regard.

"You're fifteen now, Yukino-chan." Nee-san finally broke the silence.

"It's high time that you grew up."

The line went dead.

oOo

I was quite unsure for how long I simply sat on that bench, staring off into nothingness. It must have been quite a while, because when I refocused on my surroundings, there was a substantial decrease in the amount of people that were still celebrating the festival. With a sigh, I gathered my bag and prepared to stand up. It was high time I returned to the hotel.

"Ouch."

I couldn't muffle the cry of pain as I stood up for the first time in what must have been an hour. The pain shot through me from the sole of my left foot and I wobbled in surprise at how intense it was. My left hand shot out, scrabbling for purchase on the bench as I could feel myself lose my balance. Unfortunately, however, the bench was made of smooth stone, and so my fingers gained no traction as I desperately attempted to break my fall.

I felt my ankle twist, and another cry of pain was forced from my throat as I fell awkwardly to the ground. My knee scraped across the pavement, adding to the myriad of injuries.

I tried to stand up so that I could sit back down onto the bench and assess the damage, but as soon as I put any weight on my ankle, pain lanced through my entire leg. I took a deep breath and just barely managed to haul myself back onto the bench, removing my left geta in the process and gingerly bringing my foot onto my lap.

Upon closer inspection, it appeared as though I had suffered a blister from all the walking that I had done that day, which caused the initial pain that led to my fall. I suppose I couldn't be too surprised; I had probably walked over twenty kilometers today and I was not in the habit of taking long walks.

Still, as I carefully applied pressure around my ankle, hoping that I would be able to grit my teeth and bear the pain for long enough so that I could walk the rest of the way back to the hotel, it became clear that walking was untenable. The ankle was sprained, and quite badly at that. The pain was so intense that it brought involuntary tears to my eyes. It seemed as though I wouldn't be able to take another step.

This was quite the predicament.

How was I to return to the hotel? On most days, a taxi or perhaps a ride service would be able to take me back. But since Tanabata was occurring today, the entire area had been cordoned off well in advance by the police. No cars could enter the area, and even bicycles had restricted access. The only method of transportation in this area was to be one's own two feet.

Honestly, this entire situation was quite laughably asinine.

But perhaps I was the stupid one, since I could not feasibly move more than a few inches with my current injury.

Of course, I was not completely helpless. I'm quite certain that, had I called up Nee-san or Mother and asked them for assistance, they would have been able to provide me with a guard detail more than capable of bringing me to my desired destination within the hour. But I couldn't do that.

I already knew that there would be trouble once I arrived home. Nee-san's speciality has always been to keep tabs on my movements and inform my mother of any serious developments. And Mother was sure to be quite upset over my little sojourn to Tokyo. She had advised me quite strongly in our most recent call that I was to begin preparations for foreign study. That I had taken a few days for myself would likely already cause a problem. But if I were to make further trouble for her by calling and asking her for help at this moment?

I'd likely be kept on house arrest for the rest of the summer.

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. I needed to stay calm. But it was quite difficult; I could feel the panic and frustration settling in.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

That would be quite unbecoming of a Yukinoshita.

No.

That would be quite unbecoming for Yukino.

But try as I might, I could not conjure up a solution out of thin air for my current issue. I would have to ask for assistance. But I would be asking strangers; it would be impossible to trust that they actually had my best interests at heart.

I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes. My throat closed up.

Please. Someone… anyone…

Please save me.

oOo