Rory decided that she was going to live for herself for once. Till now she had lived for her mother, grandparents, Logan and his friends, everyone but herself.
When she said no to Logan, she had finally realize that and made the decision to follower her own wants and for no one but herself. That was the most freeing feeling she had ever felt, and now understood her mother just a little better because, she had done the same thing just at sixteen.
Not that her mother and her were talking at the moment, once again Lorelei took offense to Rory stepping out of her box and making her own decisions. Mixing her two life's together on her own terms, instead of the either or terms of her mother.
It was not that she had liked Logan or wanted them to marry. It was the fact that Rory had followed her heart and was leaving on the campaign trail and then going back to school for a business degree. It was that she was not just going to be a reporter but was going to start and own her own papers or magazines, write and publish books of others and her own. Eventually take over for her grandfather who had always supported her and helped guide her in everything she ever wanted to do, not to mention pay for the best education she could have had.
She wanted to have it all and show Logan that she could do it with out him and his connections and money.
That did not help the loneliness or the second thoughts she was having. Maybe there was more of a reason her mother had ran from that world, maybe, Rory did not have what it took to make it big. It was these thoughts that lead down the road of self exploration, she did after all have a year to herself to indulge into things and really define who she is and wants to be.
Those thoughts are what lead to many things but she never expected finding love in a man who had touched her life briefly but just as deeply as Logan. At the time she was just not aware of it, but looking back she could see it very clearly.
He was the start of her testing the boundaries and growing into her own person. He pushed her and challenged her to take the rose color blinders off and understand those around her better. He should have been her first and maybe last had he not have left so early on.
These thoughts did not come over night but six months into her year long trip after many lists and writings, examineing all her past contacts and decissions. Hell she had around a hundred full notebooks breaking it all down and twisting it to each view that she could to help her understand what made her choose those things. She had started with the past year and worked backwards, it was not easy seeing the worst of your self laid out in black ink. It seemed all the more real that way. However, it also lead her to explore the forgotten and find closure in things she did not even realize she need it in, like Jess.
Rory felt like it was finally time to clean out her inbox of the many unread emails,from people she had been avoiding. She also felt ready to block or delete certain people on face book and most of all start that living she wanted to do. So taking a chance at rejection she invited the one person who had started that change in her so long ago to be her friend.
Now it was in his corner and she had to wait for a response. Not that it made it easy to wait, She had accepted that part of life was taking a chance at rejection but not being in fear of it to the point it stops her from obtaining her goals and moving ahead. She had the LDB to thank for that.