If there is one thing that people can say in the Smosh after Mythical buys them, it's that it's much easier work. Do business. Make content. It's easier for employees who were once stretched out thin to bounce back and be at their best and Ian was no exception.
Being the owner and majority stake holder in Smosh, there were many that had seen the steady decline of their boss over time after his best friend (and the other boss) left them for reasons some still don't even know to this day. Ian said Anthony left because of Defy and most believe that, but a certain few still question if everything is what it seemed.
It's only a few months or so into 2018 when what the office has dubbed since their inception "Boss Weekends" start and while it kinda sucks at first that their number one man and first founder just up and leaves at 12:00 PM without fail and comes back on Monday without saying much else on what he's been up to - they don't really pick at him.
Sure, a tease here and there, a small joke maybe, but never asking why. It's not like no one isn't curious, but Ian made Smosh to be better than that. Him and Anthony had made sure to give that in the roots of it all and despite it being a large company now, it still had it's values. Values that gave Ian his anonymity, which he was currently using to his full advantage, mulling over the thoughts of everyone else in his head as he drunk from his disposable coffee cup while the afternoon sun beat down outside.
He wasn't in the light however, he was shaded in darkness, his likeness hidden by several hedge plants as he watched the PlayPlace at a McDonald's an hour away from the middle of LA. Normally, it would be creepy (not to mention violating) for a 35 year old single man to be eyeing the playground with a calmness that hid a quite desperate gaze, but he's here for one reason and one reason only and he knows they'll be here, he just needs to wait a little longer-
Right on cue the PlayPlace's door swings open and there she is. She still takes his breath away in wonder, no matter how much his eyes stay on her. She's gotten a little taller since he last saw her two weeks ago (he'd been swamped with work and couldn't make it to his spot to watch her, despite numerous attempts) and she's nursing a bandaid on her cheek that makes him curl his fingers into a fist, but the anger leaves as swiftly as it comes seeing her smile, now missing two teeth and not one.
She jumps onto the equipment with a squeal that sends his chest and throat into a chokehold that he fights back his tears with, barely managing to get a hold of himself as her brown pigtails disappear into a climbing frame or slide, out of view for the moment while Ian's view shifts over to the far right where he hates looking, but can't help himself.
Anthony's smiling today, as he should be.
He seems so much happier since he left, that Ian knows and today, he must have at least finished one of his videos or something as he's content, watching outside the window as a flash of pigtail or today's outfit, a red gingham dress and white socks with shoes, appears and then retracts back into it's plastic wonderland. Ian's heart aches, wanting to be there sitting next to him, but he knows this was for the best.
He can see how much he loves that little girl. He seemingly knows everything about everyone. Then again, it would be amiss of him to say that as he doesn't even know that Ian knows about her and has known for just over 5 years, despite their no contact.
He doesn't know her name, he's never been able to find out as Anthony keeps her offline from all his socials and only refers to her as "Little" when in mentioning, which is respectable, but he knows who she is.
He also knows that their daughter is perfect and he wishes he could he could know her too, just like how Anthony does.
Ian's tried. He's tried a lot to times to walk over there, pluck up the courage and go and actually speak to him. Reconnect. The whole shebang. After all, they were childhood best friends, they were trailblazers, they were partners and more, once upon a time.
Every time he finds himself getting close though, he chickens out and today is no exception - he's happy just to stay in this corner, in the dark just like he has been forever and just watch as part of his life just slips quietly away. Even if he never gets to touch her, hear her voice calling him 'Dad' or even get a hug from her, he knows Anthony brings her here, every Friday without fail and that's enough for him.
It's all too soon that his coffee is finished, as while his view is slow to him, the world is not and he finds himself bitterly disappointed. While on many occasions he's forgotten about the coffee or, more often, let it go cold on purpose to buy another and give himself more time, he knows he isn't able to today. Money isn't for the weak and it can't be spent on a dozen coffees just to get an hour and a half's view of a world he isn't allowed into.
Tossing the familiar packaging into the trash can, he gets up and is just donning his jacket to walk back to his car, when a throat clears itself.
Looking up, he's dead slient as he meets the eyes of his former partner in, well, everything, both men standing 5 feet away from each other. Seems Anthony is the one to break first out of both of them, as he shuffles forward before he speaks. "Hey."
"Hi." Ian tries to to feel like he's being cornered right now as Anthony watches him from his spot, limply swallowing. It's awkwardly silent again afterwards, with only the ambient noise around them being a reminder they were in a public space.
"Just grabbing lunch?" Anthony asks casually and Ian can't find the words within him to respond, so he just nods fearfully. He doesn't know why, but it almost feels like Anthonyy can see right though im, looking around him. "Did you eat it already?"
"Yeah." Ian chokes, chest tight. "I…um…just threw it. In the trash. Yeah."
"Huh. Quick." Anthony's eyebrows raise, before his face suddenly drops and fuck, if Ian hadn't seen the mask slip off, he certainly did now. Anthony looked exhausted and worried, maybe…expectant? "Can we please drop the act?"
"What act?" Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
"This." Anthony waved a hand between them. "Whatever this is. I can't keep looking at you watching me from the window like a puppy whose been kicked out of the house."
"You can't keep…what?" Ian immediately feels a shot of cold realisation beating away in his chest like an animal in a cage. "...how long have you known-"
"-you were here? Watching us? A fair fucking while." Anthony's arms are crossed, but he still looks more tired than irritated. Like he doesn't know whether to be angry at Ian in general or worse, sympathetic. "How long have you known about-"
"A fair fucking while." Ian answers back and it shuts Anthony down at least, while it does nothing for Ian's heartache. "I get it, why you didn't tell me. Like they say in showbiz, when you burn one bridge, you got to burn them all, right?"
"...something like that." Anthony's tone is regretful and melancholy and it twists Ian's guts on the inside. "It's not like I didn't want you to know. I just…couldn't talk to you."
"Ant, she's almost 7." Ian spat, but it wasn't venomous like others may think, it was said more in upset, like someone attempting to beg for something. Anthony's head ducked with his flinch, but that was about it. "You had plenty of time to do so."
"Hei, I couldn't." Anthony is resolute and while Ian wants to be mad, he can't, because he understands a little of what he might be going through. Ian also hated Anthony for the longest time, after the separation. He had days where his entire mind was filled with self loathing and virtual that he still struggles to get rid of these days, let alone in the past.
If Ian couldn't get though his work day and all the filming and directing and other Smosh tasks without having planned Anthony's several murders within his brain, he couldn't imagine how Anthony did something similar and with a kid all on his own with no one to turn to.
"You still should have told me." Ian finds himself saying, a tear falling down his cheek and leaving a mark on his jacket sleeve. "Smosh or no Smosh, hate or no hate, I would have made it work. We could have made it work. Somehow."
"We couldn't have and you know it." Anthony sighs, his hands in his pockets and shaking his head defiantly. "You know I needed to leave. Not just for myself at that time, but Gracie too."
Gracie. The name, their daughter's name!, brings a breath of fresh air into Ian's lungs and settles on his lips as he stares, the wonder returning momentarily. "Gracie?"
"Gracie, yeah." Anthony finally smiles. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Our beautiful girl."
"Our girl." Ian repeats emotionally and although he doesn't see it as it feels like he blinks, Anthony is in front of him and they now stand opposite from another, the slightly taller man covered in ink reaching out to tentatively touch his arm. That's all the signal Ian needs to reach out and close the distance and wrap his arms around him.
While the sight of two guys hugging eachother tightly isn't exactly uncommon in southern California, this is different. This is 6 years of pain and longing and strain and a whole lot of other messy things coming back together. It's no wonder when they let go that both of them have wet cheeks, but neither of them mention it.
Wiping his face, Anthony snorts before he coughs, clearing his throat again. "If you want, you can stay. Like,m if you aren't needed at the office or anything. I mean, I'm kind of boring to hang out with, but-"
"Have you eaten?" Ian interrupts him and confused, Anthony responds. "Not really."
"Good, cause' I'm buying late lunch. For you and Gracie."
"But didn't you just…?"
"Nope." Ian said, popping the 'p'. "I kinda made that up because you asked. I'm starving."
Turns out, nuggets, a juice box and little girls can solve world peace, even if that world is Ian's and it consists of the two people in front of him. He doesn't know what he did to dreseve it, but Gracie, swet perfect Gracie, hugs his elgs like he's about to fly away and he melts into her, looking at Anthony with wide eyes as he stares, also emotional.
For all the turmoil Ian was going through before, he could feel his heart leaping out of his chest now as he watch Anthony and Gracie play with their food together at what could be the restart of both his friendship with Anthony and start to something new from what was before.
He didn't know where this road was leading, but one thing was for certain.
He wasn't going back to work anytime soon.