I'm about to head to the cafeteria when Eric catches up with me, and he bumps his shoulder into mine as we walk down the hall. His threads his fingers with mine, and we grab our food and head to a small table.
"This is why I like to eat early." He makes a face at the soup we've been given.
"The soup isn't too bad." I shrug as I rip a piece of my grilled cheese apart to dip into the tomato soup. Eric watches me and shrugs before copying my movement and taking a tentative bite.
"Yeah it's not terrible I guess. Want to go to the common room later? We can watch movies." He says and I smile at him.
"That sounds good."
Half a hour later we're sitting side by side on an oversized chair. The furniture is actually comfortable, and we're allowed to share a real blanket due to the presence of two official techs in the room observing. Eric's arm is around me and I'm snuggled into his side, and with the blanket wrapped around us it almost feels normal. His fingers brush up and down my side, and my head rests on his chest while we watch whatever movie they've decided is safe enough for us to see.
"This is nice." He whispers to me and I look up at him and nod.
"It is."
We stay until it's the mandated lights out time and we reluctantly separate at my door. Less than two hours later he crawls into my bed, and I snuggle into his warmth.
Eric and I both use our phone time to talk to Uriah daily, and we continue to learn more about what's going on in our home city. Uriah has talked to Tobias several times, and each time he's been frustrated.
"He will only say that the two of you had broken up, and that he's staying away because he doesn't want to impact your recovery."
I sigh, "Does he know that I thought he was dead?"
Uriah is quiet briefly, and I can hear him exhale, "He claims that your mental state is causing that."
"What?" I ask.
"He said he was here in the faction with you when it... happened..."
"He wasn't!"
"I know, he's hiding something." He sighs, "But, he can only hide it for so long. It's not like you'll stay in there forever."
"What's going on there?"
"Things aren't right. The city is still in shambles, and now all of a sudden Four has us aligning with the factionless." Uriah says, "Marlene is one of the leaders now, I mean the only one who lived through the war and was cleared of wrongdoing is Four, so they had to get a whole new team. Tori, Mar, Wyatt and Micah are on the team now too. I've talked to most of them at one point or another, and they're all pretty worried about establishing any type of alliance with factionless."
"Why are they allowing it?" I ask.
"Four's the head leader, he gets the weighted vote."
We talk for a while longer, and the more that Uriah tells me about how bad things have gotten at home the higher my anxiety is. My mind is wandering when a familiar name causes me to stop him.
"What did you say?" I ask.
"Christina wants to see you." He replies.
"She hates me."
"No one hates you. The war, the losses, all of it... it's a lot Tris. We're all grieving in our own ways, but one thing all of us agree on is that you're a part of this too. Every single one of us has said the same thing - which is if we had of lost you, we'd have been devastated. Just think about it." He replies softly.
"Does she know about Eric?" I ask.
"No. I've kept my promise to keep that to myself. Although, I have no idea if we can trust him. How the hell does he conveniently end up at the same place as you?"
"My therapist researched it. He'd gotten concerned when I became convinced that I recognized Eric. I'd been playing along ever since, saying I was mistaken and that I knew he was really just some guy with a strong resemblance, but it peaked Myron's curiosity when Eric's therapist was adamant that Myron help to keep us apart." I say.
"What did he find out?" Uriah asks.
"That Eric was memory wiped by Jeanine when he attempted to expose her plans. They kept him alive because they planned on using him to follow through, and a carefully programmed Eric could have taken all of the blame. It didn't work because Eric made his way out of the fence when he was wiped, without any memory implanted at all, and people from Milwaukee eventually found him and brought him in. Myron is suspicious as to why they're keeping his identity hidden, especially since everyone wants to keep Eric and I apart."
"Tris, how well do you really know Four?" He asks tentatively.
"I don't feel like I know him at all anymore."
"I think I'm going to-"
Twenty Minutes Over
I sigh, hanging the phone up and looking over at the orderly tech, "Is it possible to have five more minutes?"
"Sorry hun, I can't." The woman says and I nod, calmly getting up and leaving the room.
I know that Uriah is now on the same path as me - which is finding out exactly what my ex is up to.
I'd finally been granted outdoor privileges, and Eric and I lay side by side on the cool grass letting the sun warm our bodies. After almost two months here, something as simple as being allowed natural light was amazing. Eric threads our fingers together and gently squeezes my hand and I glance over at him and smile.
Even though our therapists have been warned to keep us apart, Myron has been true to his word, protecting the secret of Eric's known identity and explaining that allowing the two of us time to be together was helping both of us heal.
Myron has also been patient when it comes to me trusting him with Eric. In his current state, where he has no organic memories except what has happened since the wipe, I find myself being incredibly protective of him and what we have. Eric continues to be respectful of my feelings as well, only showing me the affection I will allow, and giving me the space I've needed ever since the day I kissed him.
"Your hand is freezing." Eric says and I glance over at him again and smile.
"It's only sixty something degrees out here. You're just always warm."
"Guilty." He grins, "C'mere, I'll keep you warm."
I don't hesitate to snuggle into his embrace, and when my head is on his chest I can hear the steady beat of his heart. I run my hand back and forth down his side and his is drawing shapes on my shoulder.
I'm happy.
Maybe it's been less than two months since I thought that pitching myself off of the roof of the tallest building in Dauntless was the right answer, but somehow being here with Eric has given me a new light.
"How long will you be here?" He asks me and I am caught off guard.
"I think it's a ninety day program, why?"
"Do you ever think about what you want to do once we're out of here?" He glances over at me.
I turn, sitting my chin on his chest so I can look up at him, "I don't really know. I don't feel like I have much to go home to in Chicago, but I think that's mostly because of the unknown when it comes to Four." I admit.
"Does that mean you want him back?" He asks.
"No."
"You love him-"
"Loved. Past tense. I don't even know him anymore."
He trails his hand around my shoulder, "Did I leave someone behind?"
"I don't know." I reply quietly, "We could have Uriah find out."
"I don't know if I want to." He replies.
"You deserve to know." I reply softly and he seems lost in thought.
"People think I'm dead, right?" He asks and I nod against him, "I didn't have much in the way of friends, right?"
"I'd sometimes see you after hours, but you were normally alone. Every once in awhile I'd see you drinking with a small group, but you didn't seem overly close to anyone."
"You seem to know a lot about me for us not being friends." He says and his chest moves from a silent laugh.
"You intrigued me."
"How so?" He twirls my hair around his fingers.
"It's hard to explain. We had these serums during initiation that made us face our darkest fears. It also was easy to expose someone's divergence during these simulations because we'd have to beat the fear with what we had access to, and at times the divergent like me would find a way to beat it that was outside the realm of reality."
"That sounds relatively awful." He murmurs and I nod.
"It was. You started showing in one my fears, and during that fear it was you who manipulated the situation to save me." I finally admit.
"How?"
"I never had a chance to find out. If I tried asking you, you'd always tell me it was me who manipulated the sim. I don't know what the deal was with us, but you seemed angry at me any time you'd give me a sim, and finally you just stopped showing up to training."
"Benton, Prior, you have a visitor." Someone calls and Eric reluctantly stands, but when he reaches his hand for me I take it and this time we don't separate as we walk through the halls to get to the visitation rooms.
I smile when I see Uriah, but when he moves I can see the petite form behind him.
My best friend.
Or at least she once was.
She gapes at me, and she keeps looking between Eric and me and our joined hands. He squeezes my hand in reassurance when it's obvious I am shaking and Christina crosses her arms across her chest.
"How is this happening?" She asks.
"Christina, I told you that there are some things we need to talk about." Uriah says and her eyes jerk to him.
"You knew?" She asks and Uriah nods, "Why the hell didn't you tell me she's literally with the enemy?"
"He has no idea who he once was. He's been wiped." Uriah says and Christina's eyes trail to Eric.
"You don't remember hanging me over the chasm because I conceded a fucking fight?" She fumes.
"What?" Eric asks, his face showing confusion, "What is the chasm?"
"A large waterfall in the middle of Dauntless. You made her hang from a wet bridge for five minutes because she conceded a fight after you'd told us there was no conceding." I reply.
"Jesus." He scrubs his face with his free hand, "No. I don't remember anything before getting picked up in the middle of nowhere and being brought here when they thought I'd lost my mind."
"Where are the tattoos? The piercings?" Christina presses.
"Gone. They remove all traces of your former life when they wipe you." Uriah explains.
"But he has the traces that can't be removed." I say as I show her his arms, much like I had done for Uriah before.
Christina finally sits, and for the first time in over a month she talks to me. She also listens to everything I have to say about Tobias, and even tries to understand my strange new connection to Eric. She asks questions, and she studies us the way a former Candor will do to determine how truthful a person is being, and when I tearfully apologize for Will she cries too. However, this time she surprises me by hugging me and telling me that she finally understands and was making peace with it.
Christina also tells us her own suspicions about Four, and how she believed that Marlene and Tori may also be involved in whatever he was up to. She and Uriah had followed them out to a factionless camp, and when the trio of leaders didn't emerge until several hours later they knew that something deeper was going on in their city.
They'd just not figured out what.
"Mar and I are still together, and right now it's mostly so I can figure out what the hell she's up to." Uriah says.
"Uri, I'm so sorry, I know how much you love her." I say and his chocolate brown eyes meet mine.
"We're all a fucked up bunch aren't we?" He chuckles wryly and I smile back at him.
"I guess we are."
The visit is over before I'm ready, and when Uriah and Eric are saying their goodbyes I look at Christina.
"I've missed you so much." I say through tears and she wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly.
"I've missed you too. I just needed time, and now I'm ready to move forward. I'm so glad Zeke found you." She says.
"Me too."
"I'll call and visit, and hopefully one day you'll be able to tell me how you and Eric, or should I say Paul came to be." She smiles at me.
I smile back, thankful for the normalcy of it all. I hug them both, and when Eric slips his hand into mine I lean my head on his shoulder as we watch our friends walk away.