PROMPTS
Ch.1
Snape falls down the moving staircase of Hogwarts, he wakes up on Essos, in Mereen, at the court of queen Daenerys, during an exceptionally bad time for her. Snape finds her dragons unexceptional, her advisor Jorah a failure of a man, her army of eunuchs silly. And worst of all, the queen is a hormonal, powerhungry if well intentioned teenager, with a lot of understandable psychological trauma. Snape appoints himself as Royal Psychologist, to everyone's confusion, and decides to fix the situation.
Write a humorous fanfiction.
Ch.2
With Snape's comedic advice, Daenerys actually manages to create a powerful army to retake Westeros. Tyrion Lannister reaches the queen, and Snape recognizes in him a competent but unhinged drunkard. Tyrion is upset at how Snape's seemingly weird or even counter-productive advices seems to work every time. Snape, unimpressed. straightens him up. Daenerys starts to open up to Snape and learn from him.
Continue the humorous fanfiction.
Ch.3
Daenerys lands on Dragonstone, where she meets with Varys, that brought with him 'Aegon Targaryen', the miraculously alive son of Rhaegar and recently the conqueror of the Stormlands. Everyone wants Daenerys and Aegon marry, Snape wants Daenerys to execute the two. He succesfully demonstrates that Varys had plotted to see Aegon on the throne; Aegon... is a Blackfyre.
Continue the humorous fanfiction.
Ch.4
Jon Snow arrives at Dragonstone to seek help from the Queen, but he refuses to bend the knee. Snape feels truly happy (not) to fight an inferi infestation. He wonders if the Night King is secretly Voldemort with a cold. Anyway, they decide to help Jon, but Snape manages to prevent the hormonal queen to visit Jon's chamber on the boat to the North, thus preventing a pesky relationship. He reminds Daenerys that Jon is dumber than Goyle.
Continue the humorous story.
Ch.5
Turns out defeating the Night King - who in Snape's opinion is a worse villain than even Voldemort - is a breeze with a well placed Fiendfyre, and he prevents many deaths and the ridiculous plan to kidnap an inferius. He meets many people, all dimwitted, like Arya Stark the walking mass murderer, Sansa the traumatized drama queen, Brienne the knight of Tart, Jaime the man who thought that having a relationship with his psycopathic sister was a good idea.
Continue the humorous story.
Ch.6
On the road to King's landing to overthrow Cersei, he discovers that Jon Snow is a Targaryen and that some of his men believe him to be better than Daenerys ad queen because he is kinder. An incredulous Snape demonstrates that 1) Jon claim he is not a natural son is fantastical or forged or nobody will believe him 2) he is hopelessly dumb and unfit to rule. Together they overthrow Cersei without much fuss and place Daenerys on the throne.
Continue the humorous story.
Ch.7
Tired of Jon's foolishness, he apparates him and his dimwitted family in an island in the middle of the ocean, to rule over fish, thus ending the foolishness of House Stark over Westeros. Finally settling as the Hand of the Queen, in his many years of counsel he thwarts the stupid idea of an elective monarchy proposed by Tyrion, and he set up Westeros as an an efficient, modern state.
Unfortunately for him, one day he falls from the stairs of the Red Keep and finds himself at Hogwarts, to his utter dismay.
End the humorous story. Keep his return to Hogwarts at the end and very short.
Thank you for reading Fire and Snark, and see you soon with another AI adventure!