I sit on the floor with Theo, keeping him entertained while Derek tries to cook dinner. We quickly found that if he wasn't distracted, Theo would be quick to toddle his way into the kitchen to demand Derek's attention.
A lot had happened today, a lot than other day. Derek's mom had picked Maddie up from school and we were waiting for her to be dropped off in the next half an hour, and I still hadn't properly spoken to Derek about the call he'd received earlier today.
I feel his presence behind me from the doorway, his eyes on my back as he watches us. I laugh a little and kiss the top of Theo's head.
"Look who it is, Theo," I say, lifting him to stand on his feet. He grins with a slight squeal, instantly bouncing his knees when he sees Derek.
His deeper chuckle sounds from behind me, and I turn to watch Theo riddle over to him. Derek lifts him, blowing a raspberry to his stomach and making him giggle.
"Hey, little bear," he says, holding him at his side.
"Daaa!" Theo greets him.
I push myself up off the floor and sit on the couch, Derek sitting beside me. He keeps a hold of Theo in his lap, turning to face me.
"I need to talk to you about this before Maddie gets home," he says with a slight sigh. "Putting it off until the last minute wasn't my best plan of action. I just… thank you for being patient with me."
"I'm here to support you," I say, setting my hand on his knee. "We support each other."
"For all intents and purposes, you're Maddie's mom, and you deserve to know everything. My feelings aside, I should've told you straight away."
"Well you're telling me now, right?" He nods. "That's okay. As long as she's safe, healthy and happy, Derek."
"The call was from my lawyer. I'd enquired about starting the adoption process for you and Maddie." He takes a steady breath. "He was checking the paperwork, and apparently... it wasn't filled out properly. They had to contact her to get it sorted. It hasn't gone as they'd hoped. She wants to see Maddie."
"Is she sorting it?" I ask, frowning. The visible stress lines on his brow make me think not.
"She's contesting it. Doesn't want to sign away her rights now, apparently." He sighs, gently bouncing Theo on his knee. "She wants to see Maddie as soon as this weekend."
"Shit," I murmur. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I don't want to make the decision for Maddie, you know? But I also don't want to bring all this up again for her, or for her to be disappointed again. Now that she's a little older, I feel… she can make that decision, but the hurt is going to be so much worse if she lets her down again." He turns to look at me, a tiredness in his eyes.
"Maybe we should talk to Maddie about it, or you can talk to her about it." Derek takes my hand and squeezes gently. "If she wants to see her mom, maybe we should support that. And if she doesn't, we can support that too."
"First of all, this is a decision for us to make together. No matter what a piece of paper says, you are Maddie's mom, even if it means she has two. You've done more, been there more than she ever has." He lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles gently. "Second of all, you're right. We should let her make the decision. All we can do is be there for her."
"She'll be home soon, and he needs a nappy change, and you should finish dinner," I say. I lean over and kiss his cheek, taking Theo from him.
"I love you," he says. He presses a short kiss to my lips.
"I love you, too."
"Daddy! Momma!"
I grin at Maddie's voice coming from the hallway. She comes into the kitchen with a piece of paper in her hand, Derek's mom not far behind her.
"Hi, Maddie," I say. "Ready for dinner?"
"Come and wash your hands, princess," Derek says. He meets her halfway and takes her over to the sink.
I continue spoon feeding Theo's dinner to him while she washes her hands and Carolyn sits on the other side of him. I give her a small grin. "Has she been okay?"
"You know she's always an angel," Carolyn says with a chuckle. "And you are the cutest little boy, aren't you?" She grins at Theo and touches his nose with her finger, making him giggle.
"Thank you, again, for taking her," I say. "I'm sure Derek will catch you up before you go. Did you want to stay for dinner?"
"Oh no, I need to get back," she says. She gets up and comes around to give me a hug.
Derek comes to the table with Maddie and her dinner plate, setting her up to. "I'lol walk you out, Ma. Maddie, say bye to granny."
"Bye, Granny!" She exaggerates a wave before getting fully distracted by her dinner.
"Bye, Maddie," she chuckles. Derek leads her out to the hallway, talking in a low voice.
I continue feeding Theo while Maddie eats her dinner next to me. "How was school?"
Maddie shrugs, eating a forkful of pasta. I laugh and shake my head a little. We sit in a comfortable silence as I finish up feeding Theo and clean him up.
Derek comes back in, dropping a kiss to the top of my head as he passes. His hand misses Maddie's hair.
"Daddy, don't do that!" She insists with a huff, trying to soothe her hair down.
"I'm sorry, Princess," he says, sitting down beside her. "How was school?"
"Can't remember," she says, shrugging again. Derek raises an eyebrow at me, and I can only shrug.
"I got the same answer." I lift Theo up out of the highchair and settle him on my knee, hoping he'll drift off to sleep now that he's eaten. "How was Granny's house?"
"Good, we baked cookies," she says with a grin. "They were tasty."
"I'm sure they were." Derek chuckles and kisses the top of her head, getting up again to start clearing things away.
"I'm going to put Theo down," I say, lifting the sleepy boy up against my chest where he curls against me.
"Okay," Derek says, throwing me a smile over his shoulder. "We'll be in the other room when she's eaten."
I take Theo up to his room. I remember when he first came home with us. Maddie wanted him to sleep in her room rather than ours, and insisted he didn't need his own room because she would share. The amount of time he's up some nights, I'm more than glad we didn't give in to her on that one.
I pace a little with Theo, gently rubbing his back and waiting for him to fully fall asleep. Everything was finally coming together for us as a family, and I can't help but be scared that this could pull us apart somehow. Derek told me what she's like. How she acts, especially with Maddie, treating her like a doll or an accessory. I want Maddie to be happy, but I don't want her to be treated that way. I can't even understand why she's changed her mind now.
I lay Theo down in his crib, kissing his forehead. I watch him for half a moment, unable to not grin at the peaceful sight of him. He's my son, and Maddie is my daughter, and Derek wants to be my husband. We're a family, and I won't let us be split apart. We've come too far for that. I love them all too much.
I set the monitor and head back down to join Derek and Maddie in the living room. The latter looks up at me with a big grin from where she's sat on the couch.
"Sit with me, Momma," she insists, patting the cushion beside her.
"Where else would I sit?" I tease, sitting down and lifting her, giggling, into my lap.
Her arms wrap around my neck as she hugs me but keeps her eyes on the tv. Her current favourite movie is, Shrek, is playing. Derek sits in the armchair but gets up to come and sit with us.
Maddie looks at him with a slight frown. "Daddy, you sit over there." She points to the armchair. "That's your chair."
He chuckles and shakes his head. "Can't I sit with you and mommy? You guys look comfy over here."
"Okay," she relents. She holds her hand out and he takes it, settling back against the cushions.
We sit and watch the movie together, the three of us. We could've interrupted it to talk with her, but neither of us seemed to want to ruin the moment. When the credits start to roll, Derek switches off the tv.
"Maddie, before bedtime we want to talk to you about something." Derek turns to face her more, talking to her while she stays sat in my lap.
"What about?" Maddie asks with a small frown.
I run my fingers through her hair and Derek smiles at her, as much as he's probably forcing it given the frustration he feels over the whole situation.
"I got a phone call today, from your other mommy. From New York," Derek says.
Maddie's frown deepens. "Other mommy? But why she calling you?" She starts to fidget with the hem of her T-shirt.
"She wants to come and see you this weekend," he says. "Do you want to see her?"
"She never comes," Maddie mumbles with a shake of her head. "She not want me, Daddy."
He sighs a little and presses a kiss to her head. "It's up to you, Maddie. You don't have to see her if you don't want to."
"No, daddy. Not see her. Stay here with you and momma and Theo." She looks up at him, her eyes a little wide, tears threatening to spill.
"Okay, you don't have to see her," he says. "Do you need a hug?"
She nods, her lips pouting a little. "Big hug, you and momma."
I tighten my arms around her as Derek wraps his arms around us, pulling us all into a hug on the couch. Maddie's head buried into my shoulder.
"This my momma," Maddie mumble. "She's not mommy. Mer is mommy."
"I love you, baby girl," I murmur, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll always be your momma."
Derek's hand reaches up to push my hair back out my face. "I love you both so much."