Episode 2: A Study in Turnabout

Part 4: Treeing Up

July 11th, 8:08 AM

Lower Canopy Upper Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 2

For what was supposed to be a reflection of natural habitats, the Rainforest District sure liked to hollow out trees for the sake of homes and businesses. Squirrels were one thing, but when a literal rhino could move into a bark-lined home, any semblance of getting closer to nature was somewhat lost.

To say nothing of fitting an entire courthouse in one. But the logistics were pretty impressive, with flooring and furniture fashioned entirely from the resources of the tree itself. They'd even carved out a few windows, through which they could see another downpour raging outside. Could use some more carpeting though. These wooden floors were so old that Delilah was afraid she'd get splinters just by pacing too hard.

Not that she had the energy regardless.

"Ugggh…" Delilah groaned. "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night."

"I'm sorry," Millie said. "I know Stuffy snores, but I'm used to it."

"Wait, what?" Eric asked in alarm. "I do not!"

"Yeah, you do, but I'm used to it too." Delilah waved dismissively. "It's this case. I beat Little Miss Stinkbutt and that should be a good sign, but I feel like we're constantly trying to play catch-up with everyone else. Tooth & Claw, Kyle…"

"Greetings, sir and madams."

"…our own client."

Monty had arrived. He instantly gave Eric a cup of tea, Millie a crumpet, and Delilah a chocolate chip scone. "I thought I should bring breakfast," he explained.

"Where'd you even get this stuff?" Millie asked, nibbling on the crumpet.

"The officer in charge of me got hungry and we stopped by a drive-thru. As for the tea, well, a butler should not reveal all of his service secrets."

Delilah grumbled under her breath, knowing full well those weren't the only secrets he was hiding. But she also knew she didn't have time to interrogate him before the trial started.

"Look, I'm sure you have a good reason for hiding shit, but you should know there's a big chance it could come back to bite you. Like, say for example, in the form of a murder conviction."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll work out fine." Indeed, he didn't look worried in the slightest. "I've seen your capabilities firstpaw. You show a lot of promise, Ms. O'Possum."

"Really?" A familiar voice chuckled. "Now that I'd like to see."

The soft tapping of wood on wood heralded the arrival of Kyle VanDal. The suited raccoon managed to pull off a confident strut even with a limp. "So, you made it to court after all. Guess that settles my bet with MacTalon."

(Not even gonna ask who bet on who.) "Hi, Kyle," Delilah said, as unenthusiastically as possible.

"Hey, what's with the cold shoulder?" There was that smirk again. "Isn't this exciting? Our first time facing off in the courtroom together. Well, aside from all those mock trials we used to have at Remus. Or the ones we had as kits."

"Wow, there's a law school for children?" Millie asked.

"No," Eric said with a sigh. "We've… wanted to be lawyers for a while."

"Indeed!" Kyle said, giving a laugh. "Though I must admit, this isn't quite what I expected our first real trial to be like."

Delilah looked at him suspiciously. "How so?"

"For one, I figured I'd be facing Eric and you'd be the defendant."

"Oh yeah, me too."

Eric hesitated a bit. "...Agreed."

"You come to tease us with more mysterious hints at what advantages you've got?" Delilah asked. "Or just to say hi?"

"Hm. Bit of column A, bit of column B." He gave a shrug. "I mainly just wanted to get the pleasantries out of the way. I hope you know I'm not going to go easy on you in there."

"Yeah, well neither are we!" Delilah shot back. "We've seen how you operate. You gonna do to us what you did to Mrs. Moleworthy?"

His expression hardened. "Only if you make me."

Their impromptu staring contest was broken by a pair of gazelle guards, so tall that their horns nearly scraped the ringed ceiling.

"The trial is about to begin!"

"Both sides please take your places in the courtroom!"

"Sounds like the show is starting," Kyle said, his confident flair unwavering. "We'd best head inside. I just hope you put up a better fight than the academy days."

And then he was gone, the tapping of his cane disappearing through the doors.

Eric released a breath. "This is going to be rough, isn't it?"

"He does seem formidable," Monty agreed. "Well, best of luck to you both."

"Will you stop talking like this doesn't even concern you?"

But as they entered, Delilah's resolve returned. Something about Kyle just brought out the worst in her, in the best way. (Ready or not, it's time to face the music. Let's rock, VanDal.)

8:20 AM

Lower Canopy Upper Courthouse - Courtroom No. 4

The courtroom was just as woodcarved as the rest of the building, with both the stands and benches alike just attached to the floor and whittled into mildly-comfortable forms. An elaborate depiction of the scales of justice had been carved behind the judge's bench.

"Court is now in session for the trial of Montgomery Gosland!"

Said judge was a familiar beaver. "Judge Loggins!" Delilah greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," Loggins explained. "I was only called into Savannah Central because of the special circumstances."

"Huh. Learning new facts about the judge. That's an unexpected treat, right Rick?"

Eric wasn't looking at the judge right now, nor the anteater bailiff who apparently came packaged with her. He was more focused on the massive scales. Not the ones carved into the wood, but actual giant scales made of metal and carrying a brimming torch on each end. "…I can't help but feel that's something of a fire hazard."

"What, haven't you ever been on a jury trial before?" Loggins asked. "Don't worry, we know what we're doing. Now then, are the defense and the prosecution ready to proceed?"

Kyle looked as assured as ever, casually leaning against the wall with only the tip of his cane actually touching the bench. "The prosecution is ready, Your Honor."

"The defense is ready, Your Honor!" Delilah yelled back, already trying to one-up him.

Eric was still staring at the billowing flames. "No, seriously, I can't be the only one concerned about this."

"Ladies and gentlemammals of the jury," Loggins continued on, finally bringing attention to the six mammals seated below her. "You have all been randomly selected from around the district to lend an ear to these proceedings and assess the guilt or innocence of the defendant. Are you ready to begin?"

Juror No. 1 was a classy jaguar with spotted fur, wearing a dark black trench coat with a purple flower pinned to his left breast pocket. Atop his head sat a white fedora, lined with vines. "I'm ready alright. Ready ta get this lark over and done with! Youse got any idea how much dough I could be makin' right now? I'm chargin' the defense team fo' every minute of my time youse gonna waste."

"I accept these terms," Kyle said, ignoring Delilah's immediate objection.

Juror No. 2 was a much shorter and much more eager otter in a white waitress uniform, green apron, and large glasses. "Oooh, I've always wanted to attend one of these! So exciting! And getting time off work for it is an extra plus." She froze up a bit. "My manager isn't going to see this, right?"

Juror No. 3 was a tough-looking biker wolf sporting a black and green motocross jacket and ripped jeans, his arms crossed over his chest. "Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but I agree with the cat. This is duller than a bear's slumber party. I could be out tearin' up the streets right now!"

"The lack of noise pollution is one plus," Classy Jaguar muttered.

"What was that?!" Biker Wolf snapped back.

"Does that guy look familiar to you?" Delilah asked Eric.

"I think we had him on a property dispute case recently."

"Ah, right. Always tricky with wolf packs."

Juror No. 4 had a hard to determine species, as he was for some reason wearing a full ghillie suit in court, with two giant palm fronds over his face. When he uncrossed them to peek out, they could see only a pair of bright yellow eyes glaring at the defendant. "Prolly one o' THEM!" he hissed. "They've gots spies everywhere, they have! I mustn't be seen!"

Juror No. 5 was a grumpy-looking female hyena in a black jacket, white tank top, and jeans. One of her feet was up on the bench, giving everyone a glance at her ankle monitor. "Eh. Beats being on house arrest. I'm just confused how I got called in at all. I live in Sahara."

"Really?" Loggins asked. "Are you sure you've never had an address in the Rainforest District? Even just living away from your normal home for a while?"

"Yes! Of course I'm…" She trailed off, looking down at the floor. "Mierda. Nevermind."

And to cap off the roster was Juror No. 6, a tapir in suspenders, glassless glasses, and a beanie. He was texting on his phone and mostly ignoring everyone else. "Whatever. I liked the jury system before it was cool."

Delilah blanched. (THESE are the mammals we have to convince? Like the judge wasn't hard enough.)

Loggins banged her gavel to bring them all back to attention. Surprisingly, said gavel looked to be brand new and unblemished by beaver teeth. "Now that that's settled, the prosecution may deliver their opening statement."

"Will do," Kyle said, still just leaning against the wall as he pulled out a document with his free paw to read from. "The murder occurred two days ago on July 9th, from between 3-4 PM. The victim was Lord Dominic Tigre, a wealthy philanthropist best known for his conservation efforts in preserving the natural beauty of the Rainforest District. Mostly by hunting invasive avian species with extreme prejudice."

(Sheesh. Even when he tries to make him sound good, it comes out wrong.)

"But it appears one of his own faithful servants decided to return the favor," Kyle continued. "Lord Tigre had made an announcement that morning, making it clear that he intended to fire his entire household staff for yet-unknown reasons. What is known is that Montgomery Gosland, a butler under Lord Tigre's employ, smuggled himself into his private study that afternoon by hiding in a food cart. Shortly thereafter, Lord Tigre was found dead, a gaping hole in the back of his neck left by a knife wound. Mr. Gosland was caught by the rest of the staff attempting to plant the knife in question, after which he stated, and I quote: 'Welp, you caught me. I stabbed the bastard but good'."

Both the gallery and the jury were already starting to mutter amongst themselves, and he wasn't even done.

"Examination of the victim's study revealed further evidence: A trail of ashen footprints clearly belonging to a mongoose, and a lapel pin belonging to the defendant specifically. This in addition to the bloody knife actually found on his person. I suppose you could say he was caught red-handed and black-footed."

"Hey, he stole my joke!" Delilah hissed.

Eric raised an eyebrow. "When did you say that?"

"In my head. It still counts."

But despite Kyle's damning words, Delilah couldn't help but feel a little smug. (Heh. He acts like he's so ahead of the game, but he still thinks the knife was the murder weapon.)

"However, basic forensic analysis made it plainly obvious that the knife was not the murder weapon."

She frowned. (Okay, fine, but he still doesn't know what it actually was.)

"And I can tell you exactly what it actually was."

(Dammit!)

"But I won't. I'll just have my witness do it."

Loggins banged her gavel once more. "Very well. The first witness may take the stand."

"Is it just me," Eric remarked, "or did he just give up on that opening statement towards the end?"

The first witness wasn't much better. Detective MacTalon marched up the aisle, making her way to the witness stand. She looked bored, like none of this was worth her time. She was even still wearing her sunglasses.

"State your name and occupation," Kyle ordered.

She gave a sharp salute. "Sigrid MacTalon. Detective with the Zootopia Police Department, Homicide Task Force."

He nodded approvingly. "Would you kindly give me some ammunition?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Delilah asked.

"Ah. Sorry." Kyle chuckled. "Please testify as to what your investigation uncovered, Detective MacTalon."

"Yes, sir."

Witness

Testimony

~ The Facts of the Case, Maggot! ~

"Lord Tigre wasn't killed by a knife. His actual cause of death was poisoning."

"A bottle of wine was delivered to him that day, and the poison was delivered with it."

"Mr. Gosland's pawprints were found on that bottle."

"Plus, he's the one who ordered the delivery."

"So it had to have been him who laced it!"

"Poison?!" Delilah yelled, slamming the desk. "We didn't hear anything about that yesterday!"

Kyle was unmoved. "Oh, didn't you? I immediately thought to test the wine bottle as soon as I saw it, so I naturally assumed you must have done the same. Sorry for not updating you."

"We don't have a forensics lab on wheels!"

"Well, I'd love to help with that, but it sounds remarkably similar to something that's not my problem."

"Grrrrr…!"

Lord Tigre's Autopsy Report updated in the Court Record

Wine Bottle updated in the Court Record

Kitchen Knife updated in the Court Record

(This is bad. I'm totally unprepared now. I've gotta get more info out of them!)

The most useful bit of information was obvious. "Oh yeah, smart guy? What exactly was he poisoned with then?"

Kyle pulled out another document and straightened his glasses to read it. "The poison of the nogu pufferfish. It's an absurdly fast-acting neurotoxin, which is lethal almost instantly."

Otterly Adorable, also known as Juror No. 2, looked on curiously.

"Poisonous pufferfish?" Judge Loggins asked. "Where could the defendant have gotten hold of something that exotic?"

"It's not as difficult as you'd expect, Your Honor," Kyle replied. "Nogu is the primary ingredient in a dish that was served to the victim that morning. It would have been about as accessible as that knife the defendant stole."

Delilah froze. "Wait. This dish… wouldn't happen to be known as 'Delishafish', would it?"

"So you've heard of it." Kyle glanced up at her. "Yes, Delishafish is a foreign delicacy highly sought-after by the rich and powerful. Though naturally, it requires the delicate touch of a skilled chef in order to separate the toxic bits from the tasty bites. I even have a picture."

He turned the document around, revealing the image of a blood-red pufferfish with white spines lying flaccid atop a plate. Its eyes were lifeless, yet also filled with hatred.

Delishafish Dish updated in the Court Record

"W-Why would anyone wanna eat that thing?!" Delilah felt her hackles raise just from looking at it.

"Hey! Delishafish is goddamn exquisite!" Classy Jaguar insisted. "Lord Tigre had good taste in meals, if not manners."

"I think the real question is," Kyle said, "why the defense was so woefully uninformed about this. Perhaps their business office doesn't have access to the Internet either."

Eric turned to Delilah. "He knows we work out of our apartment, doesn't he?"

"Just gonna assume yes."

"An embarrassing oversight on the part of the defense," Loggins acknowledged. "That sort of negligence might fly in the Upper Canopy Lower Courthouse, but not here! I hope your cross-examination is a bit more thorough."

(It's not OUR fault the chef was so vague about it!)

"Delilah," Eric cautioned, seeing her tense up. "Calm down. You need to focus."

"But he totally blindsided us!"

"Wouldn't be the first time. But getting worked up over it is exactly what he wants. Regain your bearings, and find a new mode of attack."

She took a deep breath, wiping her brow with her tail for good measure. "Alright. I'm ready."

"So now I gotta say all that again?" MacTalon asked, sighing. "Fine. But you better listen close this time!"

Cross

Examination

~ The Facts of the Case, Maggot! ~

"Lord Tigre wasn't killed by a knife. His actual cause of death was poisoning."

"A bottle of wine was delivered to him that day, and the poison was delivered with it."

Hold it!

"But the wine bottle was still on the food cart when we investigated the scene," Delilah noted. "On the other end of the room from where Lord Tigre was found. If the poison really killed him instantly, shouldn't his body have been right next to it?"

"Almost instantly," MacTalon corrected. "If he just got up to take a swig of the wine, he would've still had time to sit back down again before the poison kicked in. Guess he just didn't want it."

"That wasn't all that was on the cart though," Delilah reminded her. "We know the defendant himself was also hiding there at that time."

"Carrying a knife to stab Lord Tigre with. Yeah, I remember."

"That's just it. Why go through the trouble of stealing a knife and stowing away on a food cart to stab someone if you were just gonna poison them anyway?"

"She has a point," Loggins admitted. "It does seem rather superfluous."

"Exactly! The only way it makes sense is if the bottle was poisoned by someone else entirely!"

Objection!

"The only way?" Kyle asked, adjusting his glasses with a smirk. "And here I thought you were the imaginative one."

"Oh, please, don't leave that to the imagination. Do tell."

"Have you considered that the knife was simply part of the defendant's ruse? We do know he had intent to frame the chef by planting it in his quarters. Had he been successful, our focus would be drawn solely to the knife's owner, and away from the actual cause of death. Not that he would have gotten away with it for long, of course."

"You're giving an awful lot of credit to a guy who literally left his footprints at the crime scene."

"Hey, it happens to the best of us!" he snapped.

(Whoa. That got him a bit more than I thought it would.)

Loggins shook her head. "I'm afraid the defense's theory lacks a solid foundation. Please continue with your testimony, Detective."

"Mr. Gosland's pawprints were found on that bottle."

Hold it!

"Is it really all that weird for Monty's prints to be on a wine bottle?" Delilah pressed. "After all, he is the butler."

"We talked to the other staff," MacTalon explained. "According to them, Murder Mongoose just gave the order to get the bottle. The chef grabbed it, and the bodyguard delivered it. Chef has hooves, Bodyguard just pushed the cart. So none of their prints on it. They say that's how it usually went."

"In other words, the defendant should not have been touching the bottle," Kyle finished.

Something about MacTalon's statement quirked Delilah's ears. "So no other pawprints were found on it at all?"

MacTalon looked irritated. "Don't make me repeat myself, maggot! That's what I just said. The only prints were Battery Butler's!"

"The defense would like that statement added to the witness's testimony," Delilah insisted.

Loggins nodded. "The witness will update her testimony accordingly."

"Don't tell me what to do, maggot!"

Loggins narrowed her eyes. "What was that?"

The wolverine's inner fire was snuffed as she flinched, sunglasses falling down her muzzle. "Uh n-nothing er… em… Magistrate."

Loggins smirked. "That's what I thought. Hmhmhm. Magistrate. I like that."

"His prints were the only ones we found. No one else's!"

Objection!

Delilah grinned. "Well now. That doesn't seem quite right."

She growled. "How so?"

"…" Kyle stayed silent.

"If this poisoned wine bottle is really how Lord Tigre was killed, then there's one other set of prints that should be on there." She slammed her desk. "The prints of Lord Tigre himself!"

The gallery erupted, their rabble even louder within the acoustics of the tree. But so was the judge's gavel. "Order! The defense is right! If Lord Tigre didn't touch the bottle himself, how could he have drunk from it?"

"He couldn't have!" Delilah stressed. "And that calls the prosecution's entire theory into question!"

"GAH! ENEMY FIRE!" MacTalon yelled, ducking and covering behind the witness stand.

"At ease, Detective," Kyle finally said, raising a paw. "The defense is firing blanks."

"How do you figure?" Delilah asked. "I just shot a hole right through your whole angle!"

"It's not just a matter of whose prints are on the bottle, but their positioning," he explained, as if to a child. "The defendant's prints were around the neck of the bottle, ideal for poisoning its contents. And if he wanted to drink from it himself, he would lift it to his lips the same way, yes? As would I. As would you."

"If I wanted to die, sure. What of it?"

He smirked openly now, raising the tip of his cane and wagging it at her. "But Lord Tigre was not like us. He was a tiger. Panthera tigris tigris. A megafauna like him would be more likely to simply wrap their whole paw around the base and lift it that way. Now, if he did hold it like that, what exactly would he be touching?"

Delilah didn't even need to look at the picture to figure that out. "…The label."

"The label. Which would effectively keep his prints from showing up either." He extended his arm and pointed a finger gun at her, giving a click. "Consider your contradiction shot down!"

"Aaaaaaack!" Delilah reeled back as if she herself had been shot, flopping forward onto the bench.

"Thank you, thank you, you're too kind." Kyle waved to the crowd, none of whom were actually applauding him.

"Hang in there, Delilah! You're going to be alright!" Eric shook his partner awake.

"Whazzuh? Oh right, was doin' a turnabab…"

Over in the jury section, Classy Jaguar burst out laughing. "Wahahaha! Now that's gotta smart! And 'e's right too! Big fella like me would only grab that bottle around tha waist. Not that I'd ever be caught dead drinkin' that fruity shrill, unlike Lord Tigre."

He sat up straight, clenching a fist over the small, unlit torch stationed in front of him. "Right then! I've 'eard enough! That butler's guilty as sin!"

Eric's eyes widened. "Wait, what is he—?"

The torch lit, as if sensing the feline's intent, and he slammed his fist down on a lever, sending a fireball into the air.

"OH DEAR GOD!" Eric screamed, watching in horror as the fireball flew perfectly into the black side of the giant scales. The fire inside flared just a bit brighter, weighing it down just enough to throw off the balance.

"It's just a juror casting his vote," Kyle said with a roll of his eyes. "Don't get your pooch in a pinch just because he didn't vote the way you wanted."

"I'm a little more concerned about the method actually," Eric replied, still eyeing the scales warily. "Is there a way for the jurors to vote that doesn't involve flinging giant balls of fire around?"

"It's how the process is done in criminal law," Judge Loggins explained. "I understand that you're not used to it, but please try to control such outbursts, Mr. Badge."

"Yeah, don't be so paranoid!" the ghillie-suited Camo Mam scoffed.

Eric sighed, seeing that his odds of winning this argument were even less optimistic than their case right now. "…Yes, Your Honor."

Delilah planted her palms on the bench, heaving herself back up. (There has to be a way out of this corner. I can't let this stand as fact or Monty's done for!)

Objection!

She glared at Kyle. "The lack of prints might not prove my argument, but it doesn't prove yours either! What evidence was there that he was even poisoned by the wine?!"

Kyle held up three fingers. "One, the presence of poison in the wine bottle. Two, the presence of poison in Lord Tigre. Three, the lack of anything else he could have been poisoned by. If you can't refute at least one of those three points, then your client is but a fish in a barrel."

Delilah was silent, looking down at the bench.

"Well, Ms. O'Possum?" Loggins prompted. "Can you suggest any possibility other than what the prosecution has put forward?"

(Bluff, don't fail me now!) "I sure can!"

"I cannot wait to hear this," Kyle said, leaning forward on steepled fingers.

Delilah put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. (Okay, let's focus on what he said. Which of those three points might I be able to refute?)

- The poison in the bottle

- The poison in the victim

- No other source of the poison

"...What if there was another way he could've ingested the poison?" she suggested.

"Such as?" Kyle pressed. "You'll have to do better than that. Where else could the poison have come from?"

"From the Delishafish itself! The source of the poison that we know Lord Tigre came into contact with!"

The raccoon shook his head, almost in disappointment. "The source of the poison that was neither found at the crime scene nor even left the dining room. You're grasping!" He shot her with a finger gun.

Delilah flinched, tail coming up to deflect it. "W-Well... I can't prove it for sure just yet, but I think I can prove the possibility with a witness."

"Prosecutor VanDal, do you have further witnesses to call to the stand?" Loggins asked.

"...Not really, no," he said bluntly. "I mean, I did, but my case is already solid enough. I don't feel the need to call anyone further. If Ms. O'Possum wants another witness, she can call them herself."

"I can't say I care for the prosecution's indifference." Loggins frowned at him. "But for the sake of efficiency, I'll allow this. Who would the defense like to call?"

Once Delilah realized she'd actually gotten away with that, it didn't take much more thought to come up with a name. "Your Honor, the defense wishes to call the one who prepared the fatal fish that day! Casa Tigre's chef… um, Humphrey. Never actually caught his first name."

"The chef, eh?" Kyle asked, pulling out a phone. "Alright, I can arrange that. He's already in the lobby."

(Oh, NOW you call him yourself! Whatever. Once he's up here, there's not much Kyle can do to keep my attention off of him.)

A few minutes later, Chef Humphrey clopped up to the stand, his kitchenware jingling with each step. He tipped his hat to the judge, and then to the bodyguard, gardener, and butler also at the witness stand. "Greetings, everyone."

Objection!

Delilah slammed both hands down. "The fuck?!"

"Language, Ms. O'Possum!" Loggins scolded. "There are children present!"

"Why?!"

"I just wanted to speed up the process a bit," Kyle said innocently. "For the sake of efficiency. I'm sure you were going to waste our time calling all four of them sooner or later."

"...You don't know that!"

"Moving right along. Witnesses, please state your names and your roles at Casa Tigre."

Humphrey gave a nod. "Ellias Humphrey. Head chef."

Sunny waved shyly. The suited bear looked to have a bit of stage fright. "S-Sunny Urshine. Bodyguard."

Ria, on the other paw, barely seemed to understand where she was at all. "Ria Nepeta, little masky dude. Gardener."

Monty gave a polite smile, folding his paws. He had to stand on a stack of crates to even be seen. "Monty Gosland. Perpetrator."

Silence fell over the courtroom, broken only by Kyle struggling not to laugh.

"Y-Your occupation!" Delilah yelled. "What your job at the estate is!" (At this rate, the only one he's going to kill is me.)

"Ah. My mistake." Monty cleared his throat. "Butler then."

Over in the jury, Grumpy Yeen raised a fist. "Yeeeeah… just for that…" She sent another fireball into the guilty side of the scales.

(Ugh. Fair enough.)

"It's slightly less terrifying the second time," Eric admitted, still flinching a bit.

"Two down, four to go," Kyle remarked, idly tossing his cane back and forth. "What do you think? One for each witness?"

Delilah did her level best to ignore him. "Witnesses! Please explain what you were doing at the time of the murder, especially in regards to a certain Delishafish."

"This again?" Humphrey asked with a scowl. "I thought I made my perspective on that matter abundantly clear, but fine. I'll explain it so the whole courtroom can hear. I'll ring it loud like a damn dinner bell if I have to!"

"Normal testimony will suffice," Loggins said patiently. "Now, please begin."

Witness

Testimony

~ One Fish, Two Fish, Delishafish ~

Humphrey: "Yes, I did prepare Delishafish for Lord Tigre that day. BUT he didn't eat any!"

Sunny: "All I delivered to Lord Tigre were the wine bottle and Monty. W-Which was still kinda bad, but I didn't know!"

Ria: "Honestly? Kinda lost on this whole fishy business. I was outside the whole time."

Monty: "Regrettably, I didn't see this fish either. Not on the cart, and not when I was stabbing Lord Tigre."

With four whole witnesses on the stand, it took Delilah a moment to realize they were already finished. And to think she'd only asked for one. (That… was not as helpful as I thought it'd be.)

"Attempting to tie the victim's breakfast to the murder is creative, I'll give you that," Kyle said, adjusting his glasses. "But unless you can get anything worthwhile out of these witnesses, I'm afraid you'll miss the mark every time."

"How about it, Delilah?" Eric asked. "Do you think you've got something?"

"This whole testimony is about fish, right? So I'm just gonna cast my line until I get a nibble."

"That sounds like a no…"

"Defense, please begin your cross-examination," Loggins requested.

Cross

Examination

~ One Fish, Two Fish, Delishafish ~

Humphrey: "Yes, I did prepare Delishafish for Lord Tigre that day. BUT he didn't eat any!"

Hold it!

"Why didn't you mention the poisonous properties of Delishafish to us earlier?" Delilah demanded.

"Because the cause of death was supposed to be a stabbing," the camel said simply. "Besides, you could've researched it yourself. Do you not get the Internet or something?"

Delilah averted her eyes from Kyle's smirk. (I knew skipping out on that study group at Remus would come back to bite me.)

"Okay, nevermind that. Isn't it true that you made more than one dish? You botched it the first time, which means it would've been deadly to consume."

Humphrey only looked more annoyed. "Thank you for bringing that up in public. Fine, I admit it. The first attempt was spoiled. But there's no way Lord Tigre ate that one either."

"How can you be so sure?" she challenged.

Objection!

"I know you're still catching up on this, but need I remind you that the toxin is fast-acting?" Kyle snarked. "If Lord Tigre had even a bite of it for his morning meal, he never would've left the table."

"...Oh. Right."

"Not that it even made it that far," Humphrey huffed. "Would you let something that deadly leave the kitchen?" A drawer popped open on his side, revealing the knife rack with one blade missing. He slammed it shut. "Besides the point! The botched Delishafish was set aside to be thrown out. It was never served."

Kyle raised a finger. "It would, however, have been in reach for the defendant to extract the poison from."

Delilah glared at him.

"Oh, don't mind me. Please continue."

(Humphrey says it should've been thrown out, but that doesn't necessarily mean it WAS. I need to bait the line a little more. And stop making fishing jokes while I'm at it.)

Sunny: "All I delivered to Lord Tigre was the wine bottle and Monty. W-Which was still kinda bad, but I didn't know!"

Hold it!

"Are you sure that's all you delivered?" she pressed. "Lord Tigre didn't ask for any other order that involved fish?"

The nervous bear tensed up even more. "N-No."

"No, he didn't ask, or no, you didn't deliver any?"

"N-No?"

"Witness, you're being awfully vague. If there was any more fish brought to him, then—"

Objection!

"Are you joking right now?"

For the first time, Kyle had lost his jovial air. Now he looked downright insulted. "Not only did I search the crime scene, not only did MacTalon search the crime scene, but you searched it as well! Unless there is a spectacularly contagious eye disease afflicting all of us, I think we'd have found any fish that was present, deadly or otherwise."

"Y-Yeah, but if he ate it, then—"

"—then he must have had a remarkable appetite to devour the entire fish before it killed him. Not to mention the plate and utensils as well."

He pulled out a document, tracing his pointer finger over it. "There was no trace of this fish at the crime scene, and we have multiple testimonies affirming that the victim never left it. At no point did he have a chance to consume anything that wasn't in there."

"Urrrrk!" Delilah clutched her chest, stiffening as she fell forward. Fortunately, she was able to catch herself on the bench. Unfortunately, she had no counter to Kyle's argument.

"This is just gettin' embarrassing…" Biker Wolf said with a visible cringe. "Sorry, pal. But I feel like this case is more open and shut than a book about why not to read."

Camo Mam peered out. "The guy with the fun analogies has a point. I'm seeing no reason that little monster ain't guilty."

Both of them slammed their fists down. Eric hid under the bench as the scales leaned two more notches towards a guilty verdict.

Sunny slowly raised a paw. "F-For the record, I'm s-sorry for the confusion."

(Damn. I'm only giving him more ammo to use against me. But I can't just give up either!)

Ria: "Honestly? Kinda lost on this whole fishy business. I was outside the whole time."

Hold it!

"But you could've seen into Lord Tigre's study through the window, right?" Delilah asked, already knowing she was getting desperate. "Did you see anything unusual?"

"Uhhhh… yeah! I did!" she said with a grin. "There were all these funky colors and a bunch of flowers started singing at me. It was totally profound."

"Through the window!"

"Oh. I dunno. I didn't look."

"What? Why not?!"

"Because every time I do, I just see Lord Tigre staring me down. That guy is super intense when I'm on the job. It's like he's worried I'm gonna mess something up."

(Can't imagine why.) "Can't imagine why."

"I know, right? But it really harshes my mellow to see him watching me like a hawk, so I kinda just tune him out."

Objection!

"Falcons actually have far superior eyesight," Kyle pointed out.

Delilah was somehow even more flustered by him. "Is that seriously what you're objecting to?"

"No, that turn of phrase just bugs me. What I'm objecting to is the assertion that Ms. Nepeta would have seen anything more than what she did. As the gardener of the entire estate, there were many more places her attention would have been drawn to other than that one specific window. It's unreasonable to think she would have seen everything."

Delilah watched Ria bat at an invisible string. (Or anything.)

"I did see Monty on the roof with a knife though!" the cheetah offered. "Does that count as unusual?"

"…Let's just move on."

Monty: "Regrettably, I didn't see this fish either. Not on the cart, and not when I was stabbing Lord Tigre."

Hold it!

"What about in the kitchen?" Delilah all but begged. "You were in there, right? Um, stealing the knife, I mean."

Monty shook his head. "Not then either. My apologies. It must have been thrown out, just as Chef Humphrey intended."

"Normally, I'd get ready to shout another objection right about now," Kyle said, "but that bit of testimony was pretty explicit, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but if he didn't see any fish, he couldn't have gotten poison from it either!"

"Oh, I didn't mean to imply that his testimony was reliable. I'd never trust the word of the defendant. After all, admitting he saw that fish could hurt his case more than help it."

Delilah looked to Monty, who was noticeably averting his spectacled eyes.

"And what about you?" Kyle asked, forcing her attention back to him. "Do you trust his words? A defense attorney is supposed to believe in their client, yes? So tell me. Do you trust Mr. Gosland?"

Knowing everything she did so far, yet also knowing for a fact that Monty was hiding things from her, Delilah hesitated just a bit too long to answer.

"Erm…"

Otterly Adorable sheepishly cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. I really would like to believe he's innocent, but, well, both he and the defense have said a lot of stuff that makes it seem pretty impossible…"

She gently tapped her fist, but the fireball towards guilt felt like a haymaker to Delilah's cheek.

Eric, having some experience with those, tried to reassure her. "It's alright. This isn't over yet. There's still one juror undecided."

Everyone looked to that one remaining juror. Hipstapir glanced up from his phone just long enough to notice. "Voting guilty is clearly the new trend. I'm no conformist. But if it means I get to go home…" He turned away, expressing his individuality by slapping his trunk down on the lever.

As that last fireball flew into the scale, the guilty side was weighed down completely, making a flash of finality. "It appears the jury has reached a consensus," Judge Loggins announced.

Delilah stared up at the scales in shock, struggling to form words, any kind of counter-argument whatsoever.

"Not quite how I called it, but close enough." Kyle sighed, shaking his head. "It's been fun, Ms. O'Possum, but it ended all too soon. Next time try being the defendant. Maybe that will get you two to put in some effort."

"…No… I'm not… done… yet…"

"Then allow me to send you off." Kyle pointed his finger gun back at her. "Farewell."

Delilah reeled back, mouth hanging open as she stiffened up completely. Eric rushed to catch her, but was too late, and she collapsed to the floor in front of him.

The last thing she heard was him shouting her name before everything went dark.

To be continued…

Court Record:

Attorney's Badge

This old thing? Well, it does let me do my job, but it mostly just sits in my pocket until I get the sudden urge to flash it at someone for kicks.

T&C Business Card

Those two are really gonna regret hoisting this off on me. I can think of a LOT of uses for a small piece of cardstock that were probably not intended.

Lord Tigre's Autopsy Report

Cause of death believed to be poisoning, apparently! Estimated time of death is between 3-4 PM. Victim died almost instantly and nearly took our case with him.

Crime Scene Photo

Shows Tigre collapsed on his desk as if taking a nap, somewhat undercut by the gaping hole in his neck. The rest of his desk is mostly visible, though the papers right under him are obscured. Side note: Totally a Number 4. Nailed it.

Food Cart

Monty's ticket inside the study, brought there by the bodyguard. Credit where credit is due, that was a pretty clever plan. Shame he mucked it up afterward, but then again we might not have a client otherwise.

Wine Bottle

Brought to Lord Tigre on the cart. Contains a grape wine and is partly empty. Also contains deadly pufferfish toxin. Bears Monty's pawprints.

Spilled Ashtray

Found on the floor and stepped in by Monty, leaving a trail of tiny tracks that lead around the desk, up the side, and out the window. Let this be a lesson, kits. Not everyone is cut out to be a murderer.

Termination Papers

Almost no blood was found on them despite being right under Lord Tigre at the time he was stabbed, proving that he was already dead. Suck it, Lilac!

Lapel Pin

Monty's personal possession, that he left at the crime scene because of course he did. Found under Lord Tigre's desk.

Tigre's Gun

My secret weapon. I'm not sharing this with Rick, but it's only a matter of time before this thing crackshots the case!

Burnt Scraps

Scraps of some weird material found in the fireplace. It seems kind of like paper, but doesn't have the right texture. Where the heck did it come from?

Manor Map

A map of Casa Tigre so 'graciously' gifted to us by Kyle. I'm half-tempted to relight the fireplace just to chuck it in, but I bet that's exactly what he WANTS us to do so we're gonna use it anyway! Out of spite!

(Archived under 'Casa Tigre Map' on Berserker88x's Deviantart.)

Delishafish Dish

Apparently this dish is a big deal among rich folks and super hard to make right. Even Chef Humphrey screwed it up on the first attempt. Oh, and it turns out it's deathly toxic if you screw it up, which REALLY would've been nice to know beforehand.

Kitchen Knife

A large and thick steel knife stolen from Humphrey in the kitchen. The murder weapon? Not at all, but that's somehow bad for us now.

Wall of Thorns

A spiky ring of pain that surrounds the whole perimeter of Casa Tigre. For when you're just too classy to get a barbed-wire fence. Can confirm: hurts like hell.

Monty's Testimony

According to him, he stole a knife from the kitchen, got smuggled in on a food cart, stabbed Tigre in the neck, and then fled up to the roof with the knife before getting caught. We sadly have little reason to doubt this story, even the dumb parts.

Sunny's Testimony

After delivering the food cart to Lord Tigre's study at around 3:30, on Monty's orders, he locked the door with the master key and stood guard outside until the murder went down. He's kind of a wimp, but he does seem to take his job seriously. Could anyone else have gotten through?

Humphrey's Testimony

Lord Tigre announced that the staff was being fired at breakfast around 8 AM. He doesn't know why, but it (probably) wasn't because he messed up the food. More importantly, Tigre's death just nuked that announcement, giving any of the staff motive for murder.

Ria's Testimony

About the only coherent thing we got out of her, and not without effort. She spotted Monty on the roof after he stabbed Lord Tigre, watching as he climbed down a tree and fled around back to enter through the servant's quarters. She and Sunny caught him inside trying to plant the knife.

Profiles:

Delilah O'Possum
Age: 24
Species: Sassy Possum

Finally, it's my turn to shine! I am gonna rock the hell outta this case and show the world that I can handle murder too! Solving a murder case, I mean. Glad nobody else reads these.

Eric Badge
Age: 24
Species: Stuffy Badger

My best friend and partner in (solving) crime. He can be a bit of a stick in the mud sometimes, but I'm always happy to pull him out of it.

Millie Muskerson
Age: 22
Species: Polecat Who Wants to Tap That

Old friend, old defendant, current intern. Honestly worth the effort of hiring her just to see her make goo-goo eyes at Rick all day, but she's pretty well-organized too. Strikes a good balance between my lack of tidiness and Rick having entirely too much of it.

Lucy Sang
Age: 29
Species: Literally Bloodthirsty Vampire Bat

Okay, I know it's kind of unsettling being hired by an actual ex-murderer, but it's also pretty hardcore. And when you think about it, who better to have your back when solving a murder case, right? Not that I'm planning to let her stand behind me anytime soon.

Martina
Age: 29
Species: Questionably Alive Mouse Girl

Lucy's… friend? Servant? Voodoo zombie slave? Was debating even adding her to this, but I get the impression she doesn't have much in life, so here's to you, Marty!

Monty Gosland
Age: 23
Species: Mongoose That Buttles

Our defendant, for better or for worse. I was really hoping we'd grown enough as a society to avoid such hurtful stereotypes as murderous butlers, so for our sake and society's he had BETTER be innocent.

Lord Dominic Tigre
Age: 40
Species: Dead Tiger

The victim. Apparently big into shooting birds for sport and living in high society. Well, formerly living.

Lila Lilac
Age: 28
Species: Stuck-up Skunkette

One of Tooth & Claw's lawyers. Likes: being a tool. Dislikes: peripheral vision. This isn't the only list she's going on today.

Pierce Pierson
Age: 28
Species: Porcupain

Another Tooth & Claw lawyer and a prick in more ways than one. Seems pretty aggro for a guy who's so into defense.

Sigrid 'Siggy' MacTalon
Age: 25
Species: Wolverine on a Warpath

I really hoped I wouldn't have to add her to this. Let's just say mistakes were made and now this hardass detective kinda hates my guts. It's going to be mentally draining dealing with her, and physically draining if she makes me do any more pushups.

Kyle VanDal
Age: 26
Species: Rival Raccoon

This sly prosecutor is known for his keen eyes and dirty tricks. He even has this fancy nickname, the 'Bullseye Prosecutor'. Back in the day, I just thought he was a dork. Now he's a dork with prestige.

Lady Tigre
Age: 43
Species: Bird-infused Tigress

Don't have much of a read on this one so far, mainly because she won't talk to us. Still, this must be pretty rough on her so I'll cut her some slack.

Lara (Not Laura) Tigre
Age: 19
Species: Teenager

Looks like someone's hit their rebellious phase. Not that I can blame her with what little we know of her dad. No, I'll just blame her for totally blowing us off! Probably the one thing she has in common with Lady Tigre.

Lenore
Age: 6
Species: Poetic Stereotype

Lara's faithful pet raven. Or familiar, just in case she's some kind of sorceress and takes offense. Probably eats telltale hearts or something. I dunno, I'm not into poetry. Or birdology.

Sunny Urshine
Age: 26
Species: Teddy Bear

Lord Tigre's ex-bodyguard, obviously not doing too great right now. He probably wasn't great at his job either. I mean, I feel bad for the guy, but the only threat I've seen him pose so far is trying to hug me to death. Then again, bear hugs ARE a thing. Maybe he's more dangerous than I thought.

Ellias Humphrey
Age: 20
Species: Camel 2.0

Gotta admire this guy's commitment to his craft. Or maybe he's some kind of modern kitchen cyborg. Either way, he comes off a bit too pretentious for someone younger than I am. He seems like exactly the type to kick you out of a trash can even though he CLEARLY didn't want that food anyway.

Ria Nepeta
Age: 31
Species: High As a Cat

Casa Tigre's gardener, and she sure 'enjoys' her job. She may be a cheetah, but she's definitely not quick on the uptake. I guess we should be grateful she saw anything of use and it didn't interfere with whatever sensory nightmares she experiences on a daily basis.

Judge Loggins
Age: 45
Species: Beaver of Authority

Always nice to see a familiar face in these strange surroundings. Better than Kyle's at least. I wonder if she'd chuck her gavel at him if he annoyed her enough. That'd almost make it all worth it.

In case some of those jury members look "familiar", we'll be going over why at the end of next chapter.