Arizona entered the bar. She was tired, but she wanted to stop for a hamburger before going home. Her fridge was empty.
Looking for an vacant seat she noticed Callie at the counter with two empty glasses in front of her. She considered whether she should have approach her and say hi.
Her feet were already carrying her.
She came up behind her. "Free night, Torres?"
She made Callie almost choke. And she couldn't help but laugh at her disgusted face as she downed the third shot.
When Callie recovered from the cough, she fought the burning in her throat to exclaim "You're crazy! Don't ever do that again!"
"Sorryy!" She signaled her presence to the bartender and ordered a sandwich. "So, is this how you get ready for tomorrow? Drinking at Joe's, alone?"
Callie had her arms resting on the bar. She covered her face with one hand. "Don't make me think about it, I went out drinking because I just want to forget!"
"Aha, why? You'll be great! Just imagine them all naked!"
"No! That's a false myth. I don't know if you remember but I suck at speaking to people! I stumble, I stutter, I make inappropriate jokes.."
"I do remember your fear, yes, but you don't suck, at all. You're just nervous."
"Why me? I hate Webber!" She seemed deaf, she was going her own way.
Couldn't she see how incredible she was? "Because you are great! You created cartilage on your own! From scratch! Who else?"
"Yeah…" She straightened herself up. "Right? I'm a fucking rockstar!"
"Yes, you are!"
"I'm like -" Callie exaggerated. "- Like God…"
Arizona scratched her forehead going with it. "Sure... Do you want to present it to me?"
"What?"
"Your speech for tomorrow, would you like to try it or would you rather play it by ear?"
"Off the cuff? I'm not like you! Play by ear… Tsk! I had to memorize a very long and boring speech that's been ready for weeks!" She rested her head dramatically on her folded arms. "Fuuuuuck." Then she sat up suddenly and slurred. "Joe please can I have another?"
Arizona pursed her lips in amusement. Drunk Callie was funny.
Joe served her another tequila. "Thanks! She'll pay for this one." She pointed to Arizona and continued to stare intently at the shot in front of her. Arizona turned to Joe, both embarrassed and amused. "Apparently I'm paying for that one.." And she passed him a banknote. She took a bite of her burger.
"Rather, would you like to tell me how you ended up in the ortho?"
Arizona probably pushed the right button, because Callie immediately lighted up and a big smile appeared on her face. "It was easy, I never had any doubts."
"Yeah?"
"Yes.. Love at first rotation!" Callie talked about her first week in orthopedics and the satisfaction of being good at something she loved. She lost herself digging up memories.
Arizona was enchanted.
"It's wonderful that you've made your way into this male-dominate field. It means you're very good."
"Arggh! So good that I got a spot on the stage tomorrow!"
.
The next day arrived and, inevitably, it came with a severe headache. And without even realizing it, the room in front of her had filled up.
Except, her brain couldn't seem to process a linear speech. Not even a single meaningful sentence.
Arizona was next to Mark, third road. Both of them were heavily rooting for their friend.
The buzz in the background was starting to get annoying.
From her seat the blonde tried to remind Callie what she had told her the previous night. "Why don't you start by telling us what inspired you to research cartilage?"
"Fir-first of all, my grandmother knees.."
Everyone laughed.
"Seriously! She suffered from early osteoarthritis and had little cartilage. And she has always been so sore and aching, that I have always wondered, since I was little, how I could help her or what I would have done if I had inherited her joints." Another laugh from the audience.
"And then? How did you began?" Arizona encouraged her.
Callie managed to overcome her initial embarrassment. This could work. Perhaps with that sort of conversation with her friend she had felt in a more intimate environment. She knew they were there, but it was like she didn't perceive the dozens of staring eyes. She sat down on the edge of the stage, the ice broken.
"Well, I had some pretty hard years… I got divorced, I had a car accident and my parents disowned me." She felt for the first time that she could do it. "I'm an orthopedic surgeon and I work with cartilage. And I spent lot of time thinking about what keeps us together…"
.
In between the various speeches, people were rewarded with some coffee and snacks.
Mark had a big pastry in his mouth when they saw Callie going their way. "Hey! You rocked it Torres!"
"Hi!" Arizona smiled and simply watched her proudly.
"Thank you!" Callie had a stress relieving laugh.
"Really Torres! Great speech up there! People couldn't stop clapping." Alex raised his hand.
Callie high-fived him and then got serious. "No, honestly, thanks Arizona, I wouldn't have been able to take off without you.."
Alex, as usual couldn't act serious. "Seeing how drunk you came back last night I was afraid you wouldn't make it!"
"Did you party last night?" Mark asked.
"Oh no, I just went to Joe.. I need to distract myself and I found Arizona." She took a pastry from Mark's hands.
Arizona nodded sipping on her cappuccino.
"And thank goddess, cause I wouldn't have shown up this morning otherwise.."
A man came over. "Dr Torres, excuse me. I'm Matthew Reed, I write for Social Science & Medicine journal."
"Oh, hi, nice to meet you…" She stretched her hand.
"My pleasure! Do you mind a few questions?"
Callie couldn't believe her ears. Her eyes lit up. "Of course." She started walked away with the young man, but first she turned towards Arizona. "I owe you big time.. Drink these evenings?"
Arizona didn't have time to answer, that Callie was already far away talking to the reporter.
"You went out yesterday? Like in the old days?" Mark nose around again.
"No Mark, I went to Joe and she was there. Also, our get-togethers at fourteen consisted of something else, not tequila."
"I would hope so! I can picture you two young carefree girls out there living Miami.."
"Yeah, no, it wasn't exactly the case. I was like the shyest kid ever. Never going out and with no friends. Just my family, and Callie."
.
"Finally! Here you are!" Pauleen and Arizona hadn't met each other in weeks.
"I missed you! How are you?" Arizona asked hugging her friend.
"I mmh took a few days.. I saw people, I visited cities.."
"Really? Wow!" Weird. "Where have you been?"
"I went to.. Spokane, I didn't tell you?"
Arizona scanned her face. She was lying. "Yeah? As a tourist?"
"Mmh." A small nod.
"Did you like it?"
"Very. Very.. nice"
Arizona lighted up a cigarette and had a puff. "Fine, I'll take your word for it…"
Her friend ignored her. "What about you? Fill me in! I knew more when we lived in different states!"
"No news. All normal. I just had to adjust a little. New city, new job…"
"New colleagues.." Pauleen smirked playing footsie.
"Pauleen, don't start…" She warned.
"Do you really want to tell me that there is no news on the ex-girlfriend front?"
Arizona gave a disapproval look. "No, there's no front. We're just colleagues."
"Peaceful colleagues? Polite colleagues? Bickering colleagues?.."
"Just colleagues, regular. We're on friendly terms."
"Are you sure everything is okay?" She was concerned.
"Yes, of course, I've everything under control."
A waiter interfered, "White wine tonight too?"
Pauleen, intrigued, pricked up her ears.
Arizona shook her head no smiling politely. "Just a coke tonight, thanks!"
"Are you a regular customer?" Her friend asked.
Arizona acknowledged, "No, I told you I had tried this place.. I came here yesterday, in fact."
"You came this far?"
"Yep.. Callie suggested it. She lives around here. It was easier this way."
"Callie brought you here.."
"Yes, yesterday"
"Did you two go out together?"
Arizona told her about the research, the speech and the drinks they decided to grab.
When she was done, Pauleen was a little disappointed. "But why don't you tell me about Callie? The fact that you never speak about her, for me, it's a signal that you know you're putting yourself in a danger situation. A shitty situation. And you're avoiding me because you don't want a lecture."
Arizona was speechless. Her mouth wide open.
Her friend wasn't done, "If you were at peace with your conscience, you'd tell me!"
At that, she reacted. "Seriously? Are you really telling me this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Pauleen, let's drop it.."
"No! Now you tell me what's going on."
"How long did it take you to get to, what was is? Spokane?"
Pauleen wavered and then basically admitted her small fib.
"Ok, I was at Portland."
"At Portland.."
"Yes." She nodded.
"By yourself?"
"No.."
"Is it a coincidence that Nick accepted a job in Portland and you visit Portland?"
"No.."
Gross! She was grossed out. "Oh man!"
"I'm sorry,... I didn't know how to tell you. Do you hate the idea?"
If they were happy.. "No, I mean, I think.. I guess you're all grown up.. I just- I'm in the middle. You guys can't fight."
.
Arizona was kneeling on the landing because she was screwing the door handle, when she felt two small arms clinging around her midsection.
She turn around surprised and she caught the little child in her arms. "Hey Sofia!" She smiled and tapped her playfully on the nose. Sofia tried to grasp some of the tools around Arizona's feet. "Oh, you like this screwdriver? You like orange?". "Aha, yes you do, you do." She made voices. She liked Sofia. "They're dangerous though, I think it's safer to go back inside."
"Fuck!" Arizona heard from across the hall. "Sofia, where are you go-?" Her mother said exiting Mark's apartment in a hurry.
"Hey Callie! She's here!" Arizona intercepted her and reassured her right away.
"I saw the door open. I have no idea how it happened."
Arizona shrugged and gave Sofia back to Callie. "My hinges were a little loose, do you want me to check yours out?"
Callie asked smiling, "Do you know how to?"
She pointed to her tools on the ground. "Yep, let me try!"
After tightening the hinges, Arizona proposed Callie to go inside her house and have a coffee.
Sofia immediately moved towards the hammock chair hanging.
Arizona was pouring some coffee in the cups and she asked "Callie, can you get me some milk from the fridge, please?"
Callie opened it and she couldn't help but wonder how could Arizona survive. "Arizona, how..?"
The blond spun around and understood what Callie was referring to. "Oh, I can't cook! I order in or I take leftovers from the cafeteria. Cause, when I try to prepare some dish, I always burn something, or myself. I stopped trying.."
"You know how to secure a door, you should be able to boil some water, you know.." Callie sipped on her coffee.
Arizona opened a drawer and placed something on the table.
"What's that?" Callie took one of the flyers.
"These are the best take outs I tried since I came here. And believe me, that italian you got? Mouth-watering!" She smiled satisfied. "I don't need cooking!"
"Your mother is calling." Callie stated watching her friend's phone ringing.
Arizona leaned on the counter and considered. She picked up. "Mom hi!"
"Hi sweetheart! How are you?"
"It's- it's fine." She nodded. She wanted to cut it short.
"It's this a good moment? Am I interrupting maybe?" A sort of hope in her tone.
"No, no I'm sorry, I was just with.." She hesitated. Saying it to her mother would have made it a big deal. She didn't want it. Especially with Callie in front of her assisting.
Her mother sometimes could have uncontrolled reactions. Better not to risk.
"Ohh you are on a date! Good for you! Have fun bug!"
She tried. "No mum, I'm not on a d-"
The two then heard a mischievous voice: "Daniel, apparently she was on a date!"
Arizona rolled her eyes.
Amused, Callie had heard the conversation.
"Your mother's always been so funny."
"She's such a busybody!"
Callie laughed. Being around Arizona felt nice. Being around her, and her family, has always been nice.
"They don't seem to have changed even a little bit!"
"Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that." She considered. "They're older, and weary."
"Where are them now? Japan? Morocco?"
Arizona smiled. If it had been 'before' they would definitely be somewhere far away.
"No, they are quite near, actually.. They are at Bend, Oregon."
"Huh I bet it's nice having them near."
"Yeah I guess.."
Sofia got near to the puzzle table and Arizona knelt with her looking for some jigsaws.
"Where were you here?" Callie was wandering around the loft and took in her hand a photo of Arizona and some Malawi's kids.
Arizona rose her head and nonchalantly "Malawi, I was at the Carter Madison clinic."
"Wow! It must have been intense. Internship?"
"No, I- I got some funds to open a clinic there."
"And what does Carter Madison have to do with it?" Callie's mind had to put two and two together. "Oh God! You won the grant! It wasn't 'just funds'."
Face flushed, Arizona played down. "Yeah, actually it was a project to gain funds, so.."
"Don't do that, it's amazing! Wow, hats off!" Astonished, she shook her head looking at the photograph. "How long have you been there?"
A knock at the door.
"Eighteen months." She opened the door and found Pauleen in front her, ready to go jogging. "Oh! Shi-Shoot!"
"Hey it's good to see you!" She passed behind the blonde. "Hey Callie! Hi kid!"
"Hi!" Callie waved politely.
"Hey Leen, I need a few minutes." Arizona scrunched her nose. "I'm sorry"
"You forgot.."
"No, yes, I did, I'm sorry.."
"No. I am sorry! I think it's my fault that I came in and we lost track of time."
"Hey, Callie, don't worry about it." Arizona reassured her.
"Yeah, it happened all the time, I was just messing with this one!" Pauleen smirking nodded in Arizona's direction.
Callie smiled. She felt busted, she didn't know why.
Arizona greeted her and her daughter. "It was nice!"
They looked at each other. Callie looked at Pauleen watching them. They didn't know what to do. Friends hugged, right? Or they kissed goodbye. Were they even friends?
Callie opted for a wave and she was saved by her daughter who asked to be carried.
Reentering Mark's apartment she could feel an unknown sensation in her stomach. Something non-self.
A feeling she didn't recognize. Obviously, Arizona had other friends. It was logical. But the fact was - she figured - that she didn't know that woman. Whereas she could feel, she felt, that Pauleen always watched her and judge her, and she seemed amused.
.
As a matter of facts, Arizona had forgotten about jogging. Or she just didn't check the her watch. Spending time with Callie was so natural.
Pauleen didn't want to twist the knife in the wound. She followed her friend and she leaned on the bathroom door. "I don't want you to get hurt. I'm worried Arizona.."
Arizona answered while putting on her running shoes. "She's straight and she has a daughter."
"Well, you're not. Please be careful.."
She stood up. "I am."
.
When Arizona arrived darting to the table on her wheels, there were already Callie, Alex and Cristina. Arizona said. "Abby is ready for us. She hasn't eaten and her vitals are good. We can operate these weekend if everything's stable." She could feel three pairs of eyes watching her in silence. "What?"
Callie spoke first. "So it's true, you go around the hospital risking your death on daily bases! Come on! You're a doctor!"
"Come on! Not you too. Bailey had scolded me already."
"As an orthopedic surgeon, I really recommend you to stay out of them.."
Arizona didn't want to hear it again. "I know but it's so fun and kids love it!" She sat at the table with her plate.
Cristina pointed to her own temple and murmured widening her eyes, "Crazy".
Alex chuckled and then he joked, "Yeah, I heard you'll be more with kids now that Addison is back! No more fetal cases for you to work on!"
"Addison? Addison Montgomery? Really?"
Mark approached in that moment, with his usual apple in hand. "Addie? Yes! She'll be here in a few weeks!"
"Oh my fucking god!"Arizona tried to exclaim with food in her mouth.
Alex continued to mock her, "Are you shitting yourself?"
"What? No! She's like a legend. It's like the opportunity of a lifetime."
"Aren't you afraid she'll steal your job?"
"No, I'm a pediatric surgeon and love it. Fetal is.. Extra. And with her here, I will surely have opportunities to learn."
"Wow, professional!"
"Bullshit." Mark commented. The residents laughed.
Then Alex asked serious. "Will she stay here permanently?"
"Why Karev? Interested in my ex?" Mark gave him a side glance.
"Where you with Montgomery?" Arizona asked incredulous.
Mark coughed, Callie giggled.
"Oh, rollergirl! You missed a lot! You don't want to open that door.." Cristina went away with the tray.
"What does this even mean, Yang?" She turned towards her, but the resident didn't look back. A questioning expression on her face. "Oh, man!"
Everyone laughed.
Alex clarified. "Everyone sleep with everyone, here."
Arizona had picked up something in the few weeks there, and nonchalantly she tried, "Yeah? You too?"
The first to respond was Mark with a predictable "Of course!"
Karev shrugged, while Callie admitted "Nope, just George. And Mark here, obviously!"
But Alex coughed and scratched his forehead embarrassed, maybe hurt. At that Callie remembered and laughed. "Oh, yeah.. Karev too. On second thought, yes. Everyone sleep with anyone!"
"Hah, I see.. So much for the hospital policies.."
Karev tried. "What about you.. Husband? Boyfriend? Anyone?"
Arizona looked around. Hesitant.. But also mad at society. As always, there comes a time when you have to "declare" that you don't like men. As if you had to warn people about a problem, a diversity. Why? Coming out all the time, was so ridiculous. Sooner or later things will change. The world will no longer assume that you are in a certain way.
She decided it wasn't the time and let it go. She didn't even want to come out in front of Callie. Not after their troubled past.
She faked a smile. "Nope, but Karev, not you business!"
Mark intervened saving her, not knowing he was going to bring up an other sore point.
"Someone heard from O'Malley?"
Apparently she had a lot of sore points.
"Who? 007? He won't last a year out there. 50 bucks!"
A shiver ran her back up to her neck. Arizona dropped the fork and a pressing urge to throw up came over her.
"You're so stupid! You know that!?" Callie gave Alex a little slap. "I got calls from her mother every once in a while. She says he's doing well."
She jumped up. "Excuse me.." She bumped into Mark's chair. She seemed to lose her balance and absently she stammered a confuse "I forgot I had to…"
Callie stopped her grasping her arm. "Hey, you ok?" Callie knew Arizona's was a military family and she surely had that argument at heart.
She sharply pulled away. "Don't!" She breathed, finally.
Callie's eyes bored into her. Her jaw tightened.
At the table no one moved. Maybe in the whole room, given the density of the air. "I'm sorry, I- I need to go Callie… I'm sorry."
.
"Come on! Pick it up!"
He was the only one who could really understand her. The only one who would have been able to handle her anxiety if he were there. And he wouldn't have allowed her to treat people badly or pour her pain on them.
A short breath.
"Hello? It's really you?" His low voice resonated in her ear.
"Hey dad!"
"I think it's the first time your number appears on my phone in years."
"You really should start saving your contacts, dad.."
"Naah. No need. The important ones are well printed in my brain."
Arizona could picture him pointing to his temple while sitting on the porch and watching his trees. "Yeah..I guess."
Silence.
"Is everything ok bug? You usually wait for mom to call you…"
"Yeah. No, I'm okay. I just needed to hear your voice, I think."
He seemed to understand. He sighed. "Can you tell what you see around you?"
"Dad, it's not…" But there was no point in pretending, anyway. "I- I can see the vending machine. I can see some old journals, and, I don't know.. I don't want to distu..."
"Com'on, I can't believe there are no chairs around you.."
Arizona nodded smiling, as if he could see her "And I can see an entire row of chairs.."
"I knew it! What about sitting, then? Just for five, to take a break." He continued, "Now, what can you hear? Just three things.."
"The rain outside, the intercom, and.. I can hear two nurses talking."
"Good, now please breath deeply with me."
"Can you tell me something? Anything?"
"Yes, well.. Let's see. I fixed the porch swing yesterday! It creaked and your mother complained every time. It doesn't creak anymore."
Arizona could picture them.
"Oh, and that's a good one! The other day, I had a walk with Charlie: we went to the river and I let him off the leash. After a while he's back with an other small puppy. He was battered and without collar.. I brought him to the vet."
"Well, you did well."
"Yeah.. Someone needs to take care of him."
She already knew where these conversation was going, "Dad.."
"If no one will claim him, I'll take him. He's so small and cute!" He was still the same. She couldn't explain how some things never changed. Her father had seen everything, he had lost his best friend and his son, and yet, he never backed out when he had to take care of someone.
"Does mom know?"
"She'll love him too.."
Arizona muttered "Yeah, of course she will."
"I'm here for you, for whatever you need."
She closed her eyes. "I know dad, thank you!"
"Love you! I hope to see you soon bug."
"Love you too."