Raph could feel the tension in Mikey's shoulder as he ran a comforting hand over it. He knew he was often credited with being the strong one in the family, but in Raph's opinion his baby brother could outrank him by miles. Raph knew he certainly didn't feel strong now… honestly, he wasn't sure if he'd ever been strong. He was tough… no denying that, especially since his ninpo let him punch through the wall of a subway train, and he'd broken out of being mind-controlled by a telekinetic and emotionlessly sadistic alien.

But after that portal closed, when Raph believed Leo was gone and never coming back, that strength had left him. It left him collapsed on the ground, too consumed with despair to scream, to do anything but whimper as he fought the urge to let himself shatter completely. And Raph knew without a doubt he would have… if not right then, slowly over time. Because he wasn't strong. All it took to break him was one loss.

His brothers, they were strong. Leo was strong. He was the one who reached Raph through the Krang mind control, he was the one willing to face a slow, painful death for the sake of his family, for the world. In another timeline, he'd shouldered a heavy burden that would destroy countless others and never gave up the fight to the end. Raph had never been prouder of him than after the Kraang invasion, but the truth was, as much as the slider frustrated him sometimes, Raph had always been proud of him. The leader that emerged during the attack was who he'd always been… he was just the last one to realize it.

But he still hadn't realized that leading didn't mean bearing your burdens alone, and no matter what the others said, Raph knew he hadn't set a good example for that. It seemed to be a problem that ran in the family.

The snapper reached out, his fingers brushing Leo's unresponsive face. The bruises still hadn't faded, and Raph cringed when he touched them, unable to keep from wondering if they hurt.

"Ya know, Leo…" he said softly. "I know you wanna take this whole hero thing seriously, but you might be overdoing it a bit."

His voice quavered as a lump rose in his throat. He swallowed hard, and a slight smile tugged at his face as a sad chuckle escaped him.

"But that's you, ain't it? That's what ya do… take things t' extremes and deal with your problems yourself. Been that way since we were kids. Ya never wanted anyone t' think you were scared, not even me."

Tears began stinging in his eyes, and he closed them, clenching his jaw. When he was sure he wasn't going to break down sobbing, he opened them again.

"But now, thinkin' back… I know ya always were. That you were afraid ya weren't good enough t' fight with us… or lead us." He let out a tremulous sigh, managing to smile as a few tears escaped. "Remember… the first time ya used your swords? You'd 've thought you won th' Battle Nexus. Donnie was close to rippin' his hair out if we had any. But after Pops put us to bed, for some reason I couldn't sleep. Something just… was tellin' me t' get up."

Raph pushed back the covers and climbed down from his bunk, keeping quiet as not to wake Mikey in the lower bunk. The youngest tot was usually a deep sleeper, but it never hurt to be careful. As softly as his large feet allowed, he crossed the room and stepped out into the wider area of the lair. Everything was quiet, and the little snapper looked around as he wandered toward the skateboard ramp. He wasn't sure why, but it felt almost like something was drawing him there.

Curiosity turned to confusion, and a little concern when he saw another little turtle sitting at the bottom. It was dark, but Raph could still see the dashes of red on the sides of his head. Leo was sitting with his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. Raph blinked; Leo used to sit like that all the time in their earlier years when he was scared but had suddenly stopped doing it, his confidence and flamboyance seeming to double. Everyone was surprised, but no one could get a straight answer from him as to why. They could only conclude that he'd outgrown it, but it seemed that wasn't entirely the case. Raph found himself questioning how often he really did do it, and why he didn't let anyone see it.

"Leo?" he asked, taking a step forward. But before he could take another, Leo's head had whipped toward him. Almost inordinately fast, the startled look smoothed into an easygoing grin.

"Raph, hey! Not doin' anything, hermano, just couldn't… couldn't sleep, thought I'd sit out here and, y' know, clear my handsome head."

He cocked his head, now frowning curiously.

"What're you doing up, anyway?"

Raph frowned a little at the abrupt about-face. Leo changing topics quickly wasn't anything new, but something about this felt like a diversion, a way to steer the focus away from something he didn't want seen. The snapper thought for a moment, then walked over and sat beside Leo, leaning back on his hands. He took care to keep his tone casual as his stance.

"Ah, well… I couldn' really sleep either. Just had a feeling something was… botherin' someone. Big brother instinct, y' know."

Silence followed his words, but he resisted the urge to turn his head. As much as Leo liked attention, Raph knew he didn't want to be pitied or seen as depending on someone. He was considering saying something when he heard Leo let out a quiet sigh.

"Well… suppose someb'dy was bothered. Like… they didn't feel ready for somethin'."

Raph finally allowed himself a glance at Leo. The smaller tot was gazing at the floor, his eyes distant as he fiddled with his hands.

"What… what'd you say to 'em?"

His voice was soft, almost fearful, and that was all Raph needed to know he wasn't joking around. He bit his lip as he thought, then reached out and put an arm around Leo.

"I'd say I don't think he's got nothin' t' worry about."

Leo shifted on his seat, still looking uncertain.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

Raph smiled, giving Leo's head a few pats.

"'Cause his big brother thinks he's ready, and big brothers know everything 'bout their little brothers."

Leo hesitated a moment, then looked at Raph with wide, anxious eyes.

"Like if their little brothers can be a hero?"

The snapper nodded.

"You bet. An' they do everything they gotta t' help 'em be one."

By then a good deal of the unease had left Leo's face, replaced with a hopeful smile.

"Really?" he asked.

"Turtle's honor," Raph replied.

By now Leo's smile was as wide and bright as ever. Grinning himself, Raph pulled his brother closer, scrubbing a fist over the younger tot's head.

"Raaaph!" Leo whined, trying to push him away. "Heroes don' do that!"

He was trying to sound indignant, but his poorly suppressed laughter betrayed him. Raph let out a laugh of his own.

"Big brothers do, though!"

Raph took a deep breath, struggling to keep his composure.

"I told myself then, even if we were heroes, before anything else, you'd be my little brother first. It might've… felt like I forgot that, but I swear I didn't. I was just so scared that… I couldn't see you were too. I've said it before, n' I don't know if ya can hear now, but I'm so, so sorry I didn't. Just please… please…"

Finally, his voice gave out as his control shattered. He brought a hand to his face, shaking with hushed sobs. He felt a smaller hand touch his other arm.

"Your brother hears you, Raphael." Splinter's voice was soft, gentle. "He understands."