The events of this chapter run parallel to chapter 28 of the Berry-Lopez and Fabray sagas

(Shelby)

"What's this?"

I took the wrapped box Juan offered me.

"Happy Hanukkah!" He forced a smile.

"Since when are you Jewish?"

"I'm not... but the girls are." Juan leaned over the baby's playpen, where Beth was. "Hi Beth!" he said in an altered voice. "Where's this beautiful girl?" He picked her up and danced around the room with her.

"Yes, I know they chose Judaism. But I'm not Jewish, not even you."

I grew up as a Christian, but after I left home, although I maintained my beliefs in God and the teachings of Jesus Christ, I didn't belong to any religion. I knew that Juan grew up as a Catholic, but he wasn't a churchgoer.

"Look, I've spent all these years celebrating Hanukkah. And now..."

"You're feeling left out." I kissed Juan's cheek and then kissed Beth's cheek.

"The girls are in Cleveland with Hiram and their grandparents. Did you know that they call their grandparents zaide and bubbee?"

"What does that mean?"

"Grandpa and Grandma in Hebrew."

"Oh."

I opened the present and it was a box of sweets with Jewish ornaments. I didn't know what to say to Juan, because all that meant to me was a box of sweets.

"Thank you."

"They're nice. They're not like the sweets Linda makes, but they're the girls' favorites."

I tried a cookie more out of politeness and it really wasn't bad. Those sweets were good to eat with a coffee. I offered one to Juan, and he took one of the cookies, without offering it to Beth, who reached out for it. She was curious.

"No sugar for you for now, little princess." Juan said in a tone of medical authority. "The girls only discovered what sugar was when they were about five years old. Because it was impossible to hold back when they started to go to all those kid's parties with cakes and everything, you know? I don't know which of them discovered chocolate first, but I do know that it became a serious case afterwards."

"I don't know if I'll be as strict about sweets, but I'll definitely try to get Beth to stay away from sodas and junk food as much as possible."

"You'll do good to her. Soda is poison."

"Do you remember that soda was the half-understood subject when we first met?"

"because I go to the diner where you worked and order a lemon and sparkling water?"

"And I wondered why you didn't just order a sprite."

"I remember that well." Juan put Beth in the baby's seat at my request. "Shelby, I have to confess that being here with you is good, but at the same time it's really bad to spend Hanukkah without the girls."

"I'm sorry you were excluded, Juan." I sit on the floor and started feeding Beth with scraped apples. She loved scraped apples and mashed bananas.

"Hiram proposed buying my share of the house, can you believe that?"

"What's so unusual about that? If you have a quiet life financially, if you both work." I asked while feeding my daughter.

"Because that a guy who earns half of what I make and the fact that the savings we make come out of my salary, is talking about buying my share of my house." Juan became uneasy. "I know that Joel, his father, has money. But Joel has never meddled in our lives financially speaking, except..."

"Except what?"

"Sarah, Hiram's mother, always comes to the rescue when something important happens. She may be behind Hiram's sudden confidence."

"And what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I think I'm going to use this end-of-year break to think about it. I don't think it's an option for me to hand over everything I own to Hiram and leave home."

"Honestly, Juan, sometimes I think you have to stop trying to spare the girls. They're practically 17, and isn't Santana a little math genius?"

"She's been doing mine and Hiram's income tax since she was 13."

"You've just answered my question. She can help you with that, or find a consensus amidst the equations."

"I'm going to have a week off at Christmas. I'd like to open up to the girls about us, if you agree, because that's when they'll stay with me per the agreement Hiram and I made. Hanukkah is his, Christmas is mine. They may react negatively at first impact, but I know Rachel will be the first to weigh in and support us."

"Juan, I don't know."

I finished giving Beth the apple. My walk to the kitchen made me ponder my answer. When I arrived in the living room, Juan was already wiping Beth's face.

"What do you think about clearing things up with the girls, at least as far as we're concerned?" Juan was anxious, and I understood him perfectly.

"I don't think it's time yet."

"Why not?"

"Because I think they're going to blame me for breaking you and Hiram up, and that's going to have a big impact on a future relationship with them. I don't want that. I'd rather we took things one step at a time. You need to resolve your situation with Hiram first. Besides, I'd rather try to build some kind of relationship with them before throwing it in their faces that their papi and I are fucking."

"Is that all we're doing, Shelby? Fucking?"

"It's not that, Juan. It's just that we're starting a relationship now, and living in different cities, which isn't easy. Our early relationship already has a lot of complexities. That's not healthy for us as a couple. We need to keep calm. One step at a time."

I watched Juan get up from the sofa. He put his hand to his waist and walked over to the window. It was very cold at that time of year, which didn't inspire walks in parks, especially with an almost six-month-old baby girl. I couldn't accept this responsibility that Juan was proposing. My mother had just returned to her house in Findlay, and I was reorganizing without her. I would have my winter break soon and I was already organizing myself in terms of the nursery that was close to the school where I worked, my routine and everything else. I couldn't just throw it all away because Juan had a problem on his hands. The best thing I could do to help him for now was to talk and keep things in perspective.

"I feel like I'm going to lose the girls." Juan turned to me and he had tears in his eyes.

"Don't say that. You're their father."

"Yes, the bad cop father. The one who disciplines. Who do you think has their preference?"

"Discipline isn't bad. Imposing limits is important for shaping character."

"The other day I locked Rachel and Santana in the bathroom of the pool house."

"Why?" This time I was shocked.

"Because they were attacking each other, and I decided to force them to resolve the problems between them. Under those conditions, either they killed each other at once, or they got along."

"What happened?"

"They got along."

"I'm glad it worked."

"The point is that Hiram is the cool father, who talks to them. He really loves them, you know? I think I need to reassure myself that I'm going to lose." Juan sat back down on my sofa and sighed. He was clearly trying to control his emotions. "Anyway, you're right, Shelby. Our relationship is only at the beginning, you need to think of Beth first, and I'm here filling you with problems and annoyances."

"It'll pass, Juan." I sat down next to him and held his hand.

Juan faced me and we kissed. It was interesting that ever since we met, Hiram had always exerted this strange domination over him. I don't know how many battles they had against each other, but of those I witnessed, Hiram won. He easily won the arm's wrestling match against me. 17 years ago, Hiram got the prince of the story and completely cut me out of the picture, out of the girls' lives. Even when I revealed myself, he managed to get me out of the story with the threat of a lawsuit that would ruin my life, and I walked away from the girls as a coward. From what I hear from Juan and the little I've seen, Hiram is an almost perfect father for the girls. But I also knew that he was like that Sith lord from Star Wars who corrupts Darth Vader. Hiram knew how to play the game, while Juan and I were amateurs. Juan's desperation was, in a way, my desperation. The only advantage I had was that I was technically out of the game.

When Beth did number two, I took the opportunity to give her a bath, and Juan helped me. I put fresh clothes on her, and Juan and I spent a chunk of the afternoon chatting about amenities in an attempt to divert attention from the real problems. We watched a movie on my modest television, with many interruptions to pay attention to Beth.

"I didn't understand a damn thing." Juan commented at the end of the movie and laughed. "Did he make it back or not?"

"I think he did. Because of the pawn."

"But the pawn didn't stop spinning."

"But he was making a movement to stop spinning. Look at that."

I played the scene again, but Juan wasn't convinced. When the subject had passed, I gave Beth a warm bottle and put her to sleep. Because the girls were in Cleveland, Juan decided to sleep at my house for the first time, but pointing out that he would have to leave early to get back to Lima because he had to work. We didn't sleep straight away. We made love first, calmly, with all the steps that I enjoy.

During all these years, I've had a few boyfriends, some decent relationships and others that were a complete disaster. But I've never had the taste of a home life, and with the bonus of good sex. I never thought it could be so good. I looked over at Juan, who was sleeping without a shirt on. He had no chest hair, which I appreciated immensely, not to mention that he was in enviable physical shape, so I thought I couldn't neglect my own. I loved this man like no other. Juan was my The One, my End Game. I had felt that way since the day I met him in that diner in Cleveland. But there were so many problems to solve that I could only be patient. I needed to be patient. The problem was that this wasn't my best quality.

...

(Juan)

It was my day off after 24 hours on duty. I was starting to get tired of this life, in all honesty. I mean, I was starting to get tired of being on call. Being chief was no big deal. I just meant that I had more bureaucracy to deal with and I'm compensated with a salary bonus for that. I didn't object to be part of the trauma team in the emergency room. Nor did I distinguish between operating on a simple appendicitis or removing a tumor located in a difficult place. The difference was that the former was usually an emergency case and the latter was a scheduled surgery that required more study. I trained my residents on both occasions. But the schedule was killing me.

As head of surgery, I tried to organize a system in which the attendings had a less exhausting routine. But I couldn't find a way to get rid of the shifts because of the hospital's headcount. Lima Memorial Hospital was the best equipped hospital in the region. It was better equipped than the largest hospital in Dayton. The problem was that we were from Lima, which didn't attract professionals, and because of budget issues, everyone had to work for two. If I had at least five more attendants, I'd be able to do just one 24-hour shift a week or even eliminate them altogether. I've already begged Aaron Parker for more budget for hiring, and my pleas have been unsuccessful.

I got home at six in the morning from a shift and I was very tired. I passed the kitchen and could hear the sounds of the girls fighting up the stairs, so I decided to wait for them. Rachel was the first to come down.

"Buenos días, papi."

"Buenos días, mi estrellita." I hugged my daughter and kissed her on the head.

"¿Cómo estuvo el turno?"

"Agotador, como siempre. ¿Cómo te fue en Cleveland?"

"Estuvo bien, supongo. Te extrañamos."

I grabbed some eggs and Hiram was the next one down.

"Good morning, Juan." He said in a normal tone.

"Good morning, Hiram." I also tried to act normal. The girls had no idea about the negotiations he and I were having about our divorce, especially about Hiram's offer to buy my share of the house. I wanted to spare them as much as I could.

Santana came down dragging her feet. She simply leaned over so that I could kiss her on the head, and in her morning mood, grabbed a banana, honey and granola to eat. I don't know what the hell Hiram and Rachel were eating, but I was enjoying my scrambled eggs.

"What are you doing today?" I asked the girls.

"Santana and I are going to present our proposal to the choir." Rachel said excitedly. "There's a newly released song that's really good. We're going to sing it to win the internal competition."

"Really?" Hiram and I looked at Santana, who just grumbled.

"Well, I'm going to a farm and should arrive around lunchtime." That's when we heard a horn in front of our house. "Oops, that's my ride." Hiram took a bite of his food and said goodbye to the girls with his usual kiss on their lips. Then he waved to me, and I reciprocated cordially.

It took the girls another half hour to get to school, between finishing breakfast, brushing their teeth, picking up their things and getting their car keys. I said goodbye to my daughters with a kiss on their cheeks, wishing them good luck at school, and praying that no eventualities would happen. Alone at home, I put the dirty dishes in the sink and, as there were only a few, I quickly washed them. I headed to the pool house on a day that was particularly cold and drizzly. I turned on the heaters, took a quick shower and simply threw myself on the bed.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep when I woke up to my cell phone. It was Alicia and I was startled when I realized it was her fourth call.

"Hey, Alicia. Did the hospital explode?"

"Juan, you need to come here."

"So the hospital exploded!" I jumped to my feet.

"Accident on the highway with two victims in critical condition."

"Two victims only? Bill and his team know what to do." Bill was the head of the trauma team, the attendant who took these kinds of calls. I didn't understand Alicia's urgency. If Bill wanted the backup of a general surgeon, he would have contacted me himself.

"Juan, get off your ass and come over here. It's important."

For one doctor to call another on his day off (and everyone knew who was off because of the schedules clearly displayed in the lounge), it was because something serious had happened. Maybe it was a case that my residents, Denise and Wes, couldn't handle. Perhaps the other general surgery attendant hadn't arrived yet for some reason. I put on pants and an old T-shirt. I put on my sneakers, because they were the most comfortable footwear for long-term operations, and a left. The hospital was only ten minutes from my house. I could make the journey in seven minutes in completely free traffic. I parked my car in the block of spaces reserved for medical staff.

When I entered the attending doctors' locker room, I immediately put on clean scrubs and went to try to understand what the nature of the emergency was. I met Alicia halfway.

"Who's in charge of the case? Is it Bill? Where is he?"

"Juan... you'd better sit down."

"What happened?"

"It's Hiram. He's the one who arrived in serious condition."

Alicia couldn't hold me back. I ran to the operating room to find out where Hiram was having emergency surgery. A traffic accident could mean polytrauma, and there was a room specially set up to receive an entire medical team if necessary. I went up the stairs to the operating room, but at the door I was stopped by Gabriel, who was a nurse who looked more like a security guard. He was a huge guy.

"Dr. Lopez!" Carol, who was a resident, tried to rationalize. "You need to calm down. Your husband is under Dr. Thompson's care. There's a team with him."

Alicia reached me and with her was Wes, who was my resident. Everyone was there to contain me and calm me down.

"I want an update now! I want to know where he is and who's with him."

"Dr. Lopez." Greta, who was the head nurse working exclusively in the operating room, approached with the tablet from where she could access the information. "Patient Hiram Berry is currently in the trauma center accompanied by Dr. Thompson and Dr. Hunt." Gregory Hunt was the neurologist. "They are assisted by Dr. Mason and Dr. Saulo, with nurses Brown and Paula inside the operating room. I have no information about the patient's trauma."

"I'll go there."

"You can't go into the operating room, Juan." Alicia tried to reason with me. "The patient is your family. Hiram is still your family."

"I'm your boss, Alicia."

"Right now, you're not. You're not fit to be the head of anything. Juan, I'm here to help you. Let me help you."

"Then I want to watch the surgery from the observation room."

"That can be done."

Alicia and Gabriel accompanied me. I was more rational than when I first got the news. We entered the observation room, and it was almost desperate to see Hiram as an open body being stirred by my coworkers. I could see that Bill was trying to contain internal bleeding, the number one priority for trauma patients. Bill was the head of that team, and he assessed which specialists he needed and which procedures were a priority. Generally, before opening, cardio-pulmonary damage was assessed, a neurological assessment was carried out, a full body x-ray when there was time for it. If Greg was in the room, it was because there was significant concern about Hiram's neurological condition. But at that moment, the team was working to stop the internal bleeding first.

"Alicia. My girls need to be warned."

"Juan, are you sure?"

"They won't forgive me if I let them spend all day at school and only break the news when they get home. I need the hospital to notify the school so they can tell them."

"I'll arrange it right now." Alicia stood up to leave the observation room for a moment.

"Alicia."

"What?"

"I need my cell phone. I left it in my locker."

I looked at the movement in the operating room. I could see their work, but at the same time, I couldn't make the right readings of each action. There was a very strong reason why the code of ethics prevented us from treating our own family members in emergency situations or in surgery. Because the emotional strain is violent and mistakes can easily be made. Even though I was in a particularly stressful situation with Hiram. Even though we were going through a divorce, I still had a relationship with this man for over 20 years. I loved this man. I cared about him. So it was very difficult.

Alicia handed me her cell phone and I called Shelby.

"Juan?" She answered.

"Shelby... Hiram's been in a car accident. It's serious. I need you."

"Where are you?"

"At Lima Memorial Hospital."

"I'm on my way."

...

"Your daughters have arrived and we've already settled them in the waiting room." One of the nurses came to tell me.

"Thank you."

After the emotional shock, my head was more in place. The doctors in the operating room opened the audio channel and I was able to communicate with them. By then, the internal bleeding had been resolved. Greg had performed a procedure to relieve the pressure in the cranial box, and Jim was fixing the open fracture in the tibia. My colleagues began to talk to me in technical terms, which helped me rationalize so much, that I forgot for a moment that it was Hiram's body. To the point where I suggested a procedure to Bill instead of another that he was going to do, because in my view, the technique was faster and more efficient. Alicia was no longer with me. She was called away on an emergency. I was out of combat, I was a wounded soldier inside the barracks, but I wouldn't leave.

I only left the observation room when they closed Hiram up and sent him to the ICU. At that moment, I went downstairs and it was the first time I saw Hiram from less than a meter away. Bill and Greg talked to me about the prognosis. Hiram would have an absurd battle ahead of him, because he arrived at the hospital all broken up. It was only then that I learned that the employee of the farm where Hiram would be consulting had come to the house to pick him up. This employee lived in Lima and he sometimes took the farm's truck. It was agreed between them that Hiram wouldn't need to use up the gasoline in his car. On the way, something happened to make the driver lose control. The truck went off the road on a small slope and overturned a few times. Hiram was wearing his seatbelt, but apparently the airbag didn't work. Hiram suffered many cuts from the broken glass, he fractured his tibia, and the force of the impact caused internal problems, especially in his skull.

I don't know how fast the driver was running. That was for the expert to calculate. What I have learned is that it was unfortunate to go off the road just at that point of unevenness because of the river crossing, in a state where it is mostly flat. They had barely left the urban perimeter of Lima when the accident happened. The car ended up in the river, which was an additional complication for the rescuers. Things added up: the time it took for someone to call the first responders, the time it took for them to arrive, the time it took to rescue them, deciding which hospital to take them to, getting them to the hospital, starting the procedures. It was a passage of time of just over two hours. Greg alerted me to something that I had already imagined would happen. Hiram's biggest problem wasn't the internal bleeding or the broken bones. Those actually healed well with time. The problem was the swelling of the brain. That was the most worrying thing, and that was what was being monitored most closely by Greg.

I was standing next to my ex-husband, who was hooked up to machines to help him recover. I held Hiram's hand and deeply regretted everything that had happened. Despite all the unpleasantness, the thing I wanted most at that moment was for him to live.

I went after my daughters. Wes informed me that they were in the infirmary because Rachel had been ill by the impact of the news. I found them together with a school teacher. First I hugged Santana and then I tried to hug Rachel carefully, because of the access she had to receive the medicine in her vein. Then I pulled up a chair and tried to explain what had happened and their father's condition. But I couldn't. For the first time since I arrived at that hospital, I collapsed and started crying.

...

(Shelby)

I was on my way to class when I got the call from Juan. Hiram had had an accident and from the tone of Juan's voice, it sounded very serious. He wasn't going to call me and ask me to come to Lima if it wasn't something critical. But as I was already at the classroom door, I went in and said good morning to the children. That was the only class I was going to give that day, and I don't know how I had the nerve to give it to my little students. At the end of an hour of practice and lessons, I said goodbye to the class and headed for the principal's office.

"Mrs. Helman." I knocked on the door and waited for her to nod, allowing me to get in.

"Please, Shelby, call me Clarisse."

"Force of habit." I cracked a small smile. "Clarisse, I received a phone call just now saying that my daughters' adoptive father is hospitalized in critical condition."

"Your daughters? Little Elizabeth's?"

"No, my older twin daughters. They're almost 17." I showed the photo of Rachel and Santana for the principal to see.

"Oh. One of them looks just like you."

"Well then. They live in Lima and I have to go there. That's why I'm here to warn you that I'll probably have to miss a day of work."

"All right, Shelby. I'll make the arrangements."

"I can make up the missed classes without the slightest problem and without harming the children. I really need to give my daughters this assistance. It's an emergency family situation, unfortunately."

"All right, good luck, Shelby. And please keep me informed."

I thanked Mrs. Helman once again, went to the teachers' room and got my things. I stopped by the nursery near the school and picked up Beth. Then, I drove straight to Lima, having conflicting thoughts along the way. I wanted more than anything to support Juan and my daughters. On the other hand, there was so much resentment towards Hiram that I didn't know what to think about it. I didn't want him to die in any way, but on the other hand I couldn't stop thinking that it was all, in a way, deserved.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was overwhelmed. It was as if all the staff were on alert for my arrival. All I had to do was identify myself and the girl at reception immediately directed me to where Juan was. We took the elevator to the second floor, where the ICU was apparently located. I didn't go into the intensive care unit, but stayed in the anteroom. Juan met me in less than five minutes and he came straight to me. We hugged and kissed. Juan also carefully kissed Beth on the head.

"The girls have just left."

"Juan, and I'm here to help. What do you need?"

"I need you to look after the girls. I know them and they'll want to come here. But I need them to stay at home."

"How am I going to keep them at home? I have no authority over them."

"Yes, you do. You're their mother! And if that's not enough, I give you that authority. Hiram is in critical condition, Shelby. If the girls stay here, I won't make it. My head has to be focused here and I'll be fine if you're my focus back home."

"All right, I'll go now."

"Thanks. Do you have my address?"

"Yes, I do."

Juan kissed me again and I turned around to leave the hospital in the direction of Hiram and Juan's house. I didn't want to see Hiram, and I wasn't going to ask to. My goal was to help my boyfriend and my daughters, and that's exactly what I was going to do.

...

(Juan)

"There's no reaction." Greg said to me.

"Are you sure?"

"Obviously we're going to repeat the clinical tests in six hours, but I need to prepare you, Lopez. At the moment, Hiram hasn't shown any reaction. His pupils don't react to light, there's no more respiratory movement, there's no facial movement of any kind, there are no reflexes, the electroencephalogram doesn't detect any more activity and the imaging tests aren't encouraging."

"Who's doing the confirmation exam?"

"I invited dr. Lance. I didn't want anyone from this hospital's staff, because I don't want anyone to give you false hope because you're the boss. Lance will be here. Well, you know the routine. We're going to repeat all the tests and carry out the doppler, the angiography... complete treatment."

"I understand."

"Juan, I don't want to discuss this with you, but Hiram is an organ donor."

"Put the transplant team on standby." I said it as Hiram's husband, because there was still no official document saying otherwise, and also as the head surgeon of that hospital.

I needed some fresh air, even though the fresh air outside the hospital was almost freezing. There was a terrace that all the smoking staff liked to go to. But there was another one, on the opposite side of the building, which had a bench and some potted plants that was quite nice. Many doctors and nurses sat on that bench when they were distressed about certain things, which is why we nicknamed the place the clairvoyance terrace. I went there instead of the ecumenical chapel. On the terrace I took a deep breath of that damn cold air. Then I went back into the hospital building and started making some arrangements. I needed to organize myself for the better or the worse.

"Hey!" Alicia knocked on my door. "Did you call me?"

"Yes. Alicia, I'm going to be out for a while and I don't think I need to tell you why."

"Of course. You need some time to process all this. Your daughters need you now more than ever."

"I need you too, Alicia. I need you to take over my position on an interim basis. I'll notify the hospital board right now. I'll be away until at least the beginning of next year, so I need you to take over from tomorrow. As on other occasions, I'll send you the schedule. I'll pass on my simpler surgeries to the residents, and the more complex ones to Sonja. If any patient doesn't accept the change, then let them reschedule. I'll leave all these instructions to our secretary, so that she can answer any questions you may have."

"It's okay, Juan. I didn't have anything planned for these holidays anyway!" Alicia cracked a small smile. "But seriously. How are you?"

"Right now, I'm trying really hard not to fall apart. I need to do this job, Alicia, if you'll excuse me."

Alicia got up and before leaving the room, she came over to me and gave me a supportive hug, the hug of a friend who was there to give me strength. Then she let me go to work. First, I asked my secretary to notify the people who needed to be notified: Hiram's parents and also my family. I would take care of Hiram's closest friends and his employers later. For the time being, I didn't have the head for dealing with so many people, so I had to prioritize.

When the clinical tests to confirm brain death were due to resume, I headed back to the ICU. I asked Greg for a moment and sat down alone next to my ex-husband. I carefully took his hand. I knew that there was technically just a body there, that Hiram was gone, but I still needed to talk to him.

"Hey... it's really hard to be here, in this position, you know? I've felt so much anger towards you over the last few months, I've felt so much hurt. But now, all I'd like to say is thank you. I'd like to thank you for lifting me out of mediocrity, for opening my eyes to the world, I'd like to thank you for accompanying me, even at times when it would have been best for you to go far away from me. I'd like to thank you for agreeing to be a father with me, because frankly, Hiram, I would have chickened out if you hadn't got on board with me. I'd like to thank you for the good times and the bad times too, because all those times taught me a lesson. I wanted to thank you for the girls, for taking care of them especially when I was away. You were a great father to them, Hiram. You were a much better father than I was. You were a good husband. Even though we split up in the end, you were a good husband. I loved you. I loved you deeply. I know that miracles are rare, and I really wish that in the next half hour one of those miracles would happen here and now, because nothing is impossible for God. But I'm also a doctor who deals with life and death every day. A doctor who is aware that there is a limit to our abilities. That's why I'm here, thanking you, and also asking your forgiveness for not having tried harder. Forgive me, Hiram. For all that is sacred, forgive me my faults, just as I forgive you. I would also like to promise you that I will look after them, that I will take care of them until the end of my strength. They will win, Hiram, just as we have won."

I stood up and nodded to Greg and the doctor he had invited to confirm the diagnosis. Technically, any hospital attendant would be qualified to do this, but I think Greg acted intelligently by seeking the greatest possible level of impartiality. It would have been very comfortable for one of our colleagues to cast doubt on one of the results and raise false hopes. I sat in the ICU anteroom while Dr. Lance performed the necessary clinical tests and examinations. I know it took him an hour to do all the necessary readings, and in that time, I was joined by Alicia and other dear friends from the hospital. When Greg and Dr. Lance came to me in the anteroom, I knew by the look of grief on their faces.

"Juan..." Bill approached. "I know it's not the best time, but your husband was an organ donor."

"Nobody touches him." I reacted.

"Juan, Hiram's condition isn't stable, we need to act as quickly as possible before their organs start failing."

"I said, nobody touches him. I'm going home, I'll get the girls and they'll say goodbye to their father, okay? Put the transplant team on standby, but nobody touches him before the girls have a chance to say goodbye to their father with their hearts still beating."

"Just don't take too long, please." Bill insisted.

I left the ICU and went straight to the hospital parking lot. When I saw my daughters waiting anxiously for news, I couldn't stand it and collapsed.