Training Day 1
Rory Elsher 16, District 2 Male
I just stare at the flame in my hand.
The heat hitting it, I missed you fire, it's has been what exactly 32 hours since I have seen a flame, maybe my whole fiasco in the reapings wasn't my best idea since even the second, we got into the capitol, our rooms were locked. However clearly, they underestimated my natural people skills so all I had to do was threaten to drown an avox in the toilet and she came back with a packet of matches.
I don't care if I don't kill people for a few days. I'm not like Harley who needs death, I just want fire, I need fire. I just bring it to my skin hearing the sound of burning skin as I see the blistering it doesn't even hurt, it never does, and for some reason, I never feel pain. I wish I could as a kid I used to, and that's why I started to love fire so much I liked burning myself eventually it became numb even now, I have been tempted to burn my hand or leg off but unless it's a gas fire the matches won't burn a limb off, it only makes your skin full of blisters and nothing, some people survive from it but normally if your burning for so long you just die.
I don't know if it's because maybe the blood gets burned or smoke, I don't like smoke though that's one thing about fire I don't like, normally when I light big fires where I use gas, the smoke is what kills people it is fascinating though, how they just stop breathing due to the smoke in their lungs that's what I videotape my deaths sometimes so I can watch it over and over again.
"You need to make a sacrifice"
I just stop looking at the flame and at Lucifer in the corner "37" I hum
37 children I killed two days ago, I didn't expect that many to burn but I also had an illegal match sadly these are basic matches but as much as I tried to escape last night, everything I could use as an exit, was blocked. I could have just taken the avox and got her to get me out but Everett said I'm on thin ice, I don't want to do anything that will get Harley in trouble before we complete our end game.
"Yes Rory I know you killed 37 children but that was days ago" he says
"32 hours" I say I have tried to burn Lucifer sadly the devil doesn't burn, the fire makes them stronger, I just watch my skin blister even more they have medication that fixes wounds that occurred within 72 hours, that's how they fixed all my burn marks but not the one I had as a child. I wish I could escape so I can burn the entire capitol to the ground that would be my end game but sadly that's impossible.
I'm ready for the hunger games Harley and I know we both will die and I'm not afraid I have been waiting for the day I can give my soul to the devil and finally get the peace I deserve. I know I'm a bad person I won't deny that but even bad people deserve peace, I plan to burn myself alive when that is?
I'm not sure yet.
"Doesn't matter, I want a body now?" he says
"The banshee hasn't screamed yet no one dies today they can't until the gong strikes, everyone is untouchable," I say sadly it took a lot in me yesterday to not set the entire crowd on fire, to not throw a match at the president but I knew the consequences I may be reckless but I'm not stupid deep down I'm scared of what will happen if I test them. There is a world worse then hell and that's where I would get thrown to, if I test the captiol and that's what fears me.
As much as I don't feel many emotions I do get scared that's why fire is so important to me, fire is my shield, my weapon, people that don't embrace fire get burned alive so I use that, there is nothing more painful, normally I kill my victims beforehand because even I'm not a monster. I find it more poetic to burn a whole group of people together, at least they can die together, at least they can suffocate or burn together, it makes death easier. I'm being kind when I kill someone before I burn them unless it's a Wednesday.
That's when I tie them up and watch their body slowly burn it's a very slow death and even I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, it takes at least 47 minutes to die.
"You are becoming soft Rory," Lucifer says
"Go to hell," I say. I jump almost dropping my match when my door opens.
"Bloody hell, now be a good boy and put that match away," Everett says. I like Everett I don't know why, Harley hates him but I feel safe with him for some reason, even if he pretty much says I'm a maniac I don't know I sort of appreciate the tough love. I don't like fake people, I don't like people being nice to me.
I just throw the match chuckling when he jumps out of the way but the flame is already gone, lucky for him.
"Where did you get those?" he says
"The devil," I say he just walks closer and I just flinch.
"Fine, an avox, please don't take them away" I say
"And let you almost burn your hand off" he says just grabbing my wrist.
"I like my hand like this," I say. I would burn more of my skin but every time I do it just gets healed so I have given up, it's annoying how no one tends to trust me.
"You need to be at full strength you and your partner will be targets even if a few tributes don't have your true files still doesn't mean you won't be watched I mean you did go crazy in the reaping kid" he says just giving me a vile of medicine.
"They can try and kill me, blaze will protect me," I say
"Another imaginary friend of yours," he says. I just grab another match but he is quick to wrestle it from my grip.
"Let me guess your blowtorch" he says I just smile nodding
"You haven't really told me about your fighting skills, you haven't really spoken much at all" he says
"You have had me locked in a room like an animal, you are lucky I like you or you would be dead" I admit
"It wasn't my choice," he says
"I don't like fighting I prefer to be the hunter, if I can't be a hunter, I run away, I am not ready to die until I say so," I say
"So you like having power, having that away from you makes you vulnerable," he says
I just nod "You can't always run away from fights, you know, that this isn't District Two, it will be a lot harder for you two just to ambush people, you do need a plan B," Everett says
"It's easy to fight a sword but not a blow torch," I say as he just nods
"Can I have your matches there is a fire station there" he says which makes me perk up a little bit as I just give them to him no point trying to fight him, I do need him.
"Get changed and come out into the lounge" he says, patting the clothes, I just mockingly salute his retreating figure.
"He would make a good sacrifice," Lucifer says
"No" I mumble closing my eyes I just open my eyes relieved he is gone I hate when he does this, he wants everyone dead but some people can't be killed not yet anyway, even without saying it he does have a point, this isn't two we aren't feared, we aren't the hunters everyone is even playing field. I tried to read the files last night but instead, I got bored and burned them, our files are blank although I did go a little crazy during reapings so hoping I can fly under the radar isn't really possible.
That doesn't mean I'm going to act like a maniac not that I am one I know I'm perfectly stable, I just get changed trying to ignore the wailing in my head as I just walk out.
"Get going, you two will be late," Everett says gently shoving me to the elevator as Harley follows just glaring at him on the way out as we make it in.
"You don't look happy" I mumble
"Got a lecture, I helped someone last night they fell and broke their spine" he shrugs
"People need to understand it isn't killing," I say even if I do, I don't kill. I just sacrifice them for the greater good maybe it's for evil causes but once everyone dies they are safe.
"It's just three more days then we don't need to hold back," he says
"We can complete our end game," I say he just smiles at me, we decide not to kill as, individuals, even if I like killing doing it with Harley is even more fun, it's our thing and no one else can take that away.
We will both Die and get sent to a better place at least we can enjoy our time together and kill together, we don't want to be villains in our eyes, we are the heroes no tribute is exempt from our wrath.
The elevator stops as we just walk in, and a few eyes meet ours but they are quick to look away. Mainly with fear or wanting to not be caught, I hate being feared but I just swallow that anger knowing I lash out now it paints a bigger target the predicted placing screen is in the middle as people look then look around the boy from four just leans against the wall extremely causal, he is a reaper I know that his already got a black market Satan wants him.
We want the nines dead they are the only ones we will target they helped kill Koby, they have the virus and Harley is a doctor they need to be cured then they need to be burned to ensure they can't get sick again.
The trainer dismisses us and everyone is quick to separate there are obvious pairings, the fours glance us at for a moment then the younger ones just walk off, the older one seems annoyed but follows him anyway. I meet eyes with the older boy from one who just nods then they leave too.
They didn't want to make a deal verbally but I know he meant we are good.
Will we follow that deal no?
No one is exempt but we know who to target first the weaklings then the strong.
"I heard there was a fire station" I whisper Harley's eyes perk up as the head trainer watches us almost warning us to be careful. I will for now but the clock is clicking as we walk in a few tributes look over, the pair from ten are quick to leave as I glance at Harley and our list is getting larger, the pair from nine are in here too but they try to ignore our existence.
"Send a message" I whisper.
Harley just smirks at me then grabs a rock on the ground I see a knife on the station next to us as I walk over to it and hand it to him he just slices his hand open I don't find blood as addictive as he does, I mean I hate the sight I wonder what blood is made off all I know is it reacts oddly to fire, he just paints the symbol, we both believe in then throws the rock to the nine it hits the girl in her shoulder as he brother snatches it.
Then we both salute at him.
I can see the anger on his face but instead of losing it he just grabs his sister dragging her out but not before giving us the finger.
"They didn't take the rock that was rude," Harley says, it's obvious he is forming a crush on the girl as well maybe she is his chosen one.
"Don't worry we will have a chance soon?" I say just seeing the several fire starters, I would call myself that too, a fire starter, it is interesting how many ways there are to start fires, burning someone with a match is quite personal but even bombs can cause fires, but not as large as the ones matches or flints cause. I hope the arena is similar to a forest, I hope it isn't an ocean.
I don't like water neither does fire, unless it's hot water, one day I was curious so I poured boiling water on someone, and it made the fire worse it's interesting how boiling water leaves burns like water, he just grabs the rock putting it in his pocket.
"What do we do if there is a career alliance," he says
"I doubt it, if there is we keep away, we don't want to be seen as targets or threats," I say. We just want to be left alone in all honesty, I don't want anyone targeting us and killing the other. I know that's what I would do with pairings, the nines we have a personal vendetta maybe Harley more than myself since I wasn't as close to Koby I didn't understand him as much but we want to punish them for the crimes of their past and sometimes those punishments are worse than the crimes committed.
We both panic when under pressure, and both have meltdowns I have never hurt him and never will but I have hurt myself. fuck I almost killed myself, we don't want to do that when the time isn't right we don't want to get cursed for not dying on cue, I heard the chosen ones cursed for all of the entirety if they did.
"There are bigger targets, bigger villains if we act normal we can confuse them no one should know our file" I whisper.
Even if the tributes seem a little alarmed, it is more curiosity they don't know about us, even a few other tributes are puzzles, Kylian, Aurelia and Declan even Levin I watched him in the chariots how he spoke to his partner he isn't maniac they painted him out to be, he could be acting but there is a reason we isolate ourselves when acting uts says to slip to say the wrong thing.
One wrong move and everything will crumble.
Stellan Moore 18, District 4 Male
"We should make a deal with them" I say, Kylian doesn't look at me just keeps watching people from a distance I notice he does that, this boy concerns me uts why I was quick to Allie with him
Keep your friends close but enemies closer they say and he is definitely my enemy he could be the death of me too, but there is something about this kid that makes me want him on my side, his a genius and his brain can help us while I slowly plan to plot his downfall but he doesn't need to know that too yet, I wish I could get his actual file so I know what the hell his deal is but I can't and since the bitch cassia has pretty much disowned me I can't even ask a mentor and even Adrian is giving me advice his number one priority is Kylian he clearly has fallen for his innocent act
I haven't spending time with him I know a killer when I saw one he has this glint in his dark blue eyes a glint that alarms me I'm meant to be the bad guy, I wNd ri be the bad guy I have always been the dominant one but also the guy who acts and jokes but here I won't act maybe until the games but the second the gong sounds everyone is sheep for me to slaughter and I will give the capitol a show, I have too I always was slow with my kills I did condone torture because it made me feel more in power in control
I know I'm the perfect psycholath I have no emotions I feel off pain and suffering and I have no reason for what I do
"And alarm the twos to believe we want to go against them there is no point if all three pairs have a hunter or hunters in their group they will naturally steer clear of each other, if anything there is another pair or more so individual we should try and lure in who do you believe the strongest pair is, the bond I mean" Kylian says
"Nines there seems to be tension there though" I say they have been at the medical station at the start they barely spoken and only share a word or two I would have thought being brother and sister there would be a stronger connection unless they are acting
"They seems to be almost rebuilding a relationship clearly long lost siblings being in a environment like this it will confuse them, they don't want to sue but they have each other it makes them both vulnerable you said you like playing the closing, like inflicting fear" he says
I just stare at him a little taken back "I never said that" I say
"It's true though isn't it" he says I just bite my lip duck this kid is smarter then he looks, he can read people that makes him a bigger asset and threat I see the ones move in going straight to the shelter station half the tributes are in here and all the main pairs, the ones, the twos, the nines, obviously if I wanted a deal with the one it wouldn't be in front of the twos "Are you a minder reader or something" I say
"It's call reading but you want to play the villain you also want to wedge the strongest but mist vulnerable duo, the twos their bond is unbreakable and the ones they would split before there is tension if there is any but not the siblings, we try to test Declan see if his willing to ditch his sister, insult her in front of him make a message to all of the other tributes obviously it wouldn't be true but no doubt he would say no but it will out doubt in his minds" he says his right I want to play villain, I want to stir thr plot without making myself to much a target but Declan is the biggest outer threats and we make him put a even target on his back in front of the ones and twos we may be able to slide under the rated
Kylian is right there is no point making deals with the ones or two because no way we will we follow it, even if we don't have the files there is no doubt both the twos are fucked in the head, I may be completely stable but I am still a killer it takes one to know one plus the way that boy is staring at the fire right now unsettles ms and I am fearless
"You got a good point, will draw a line in the sand" he says
"Show me what you got" he says just leaning against the wall
"You aren't coming" I say
"I have secrets to hide remember maybe show I can trust you and I can tell you everything" he says
"You know I can kill you in the bloodbath" I say
"Go ahead unlike you who has his pride too loose I have nothing" he shrugs, I just nod he is right though, the best way to having a advantage over competition is to weaken them, and with the strong duos that is too cause a rift and it's clear there is already tension between the two I just want to test their loyalty
I walk towards them as both the boys form two look over the blonde one tilting his head "You can have the station lets go" Declan says standing and grabbing Aurelia's arm, there is a clear dominant as well, even if I use to normally snatch off the street I did have to research my targets make sure I won't get caught
Then how did Kylian know how did the captiol now clearly I wasn't as careful as I hoped but then why didn't they kill me, stop me, I wasn't killing the poor I was killing the rich, elitist I should have been punished but it's obvious why because they wanted me here and clearly they want me to be the villain
I should act, act like the funny nice guy I was but I know I also need to make a statement but I didn't get caught for a reason I know how to act innocent, I know how to play people and that's exactly what I'm going to so
"I'm actually here to speak to you" I say to him he just stops, his protective I can see that he steps right in front of Aurelia but I don't want her, if somehow Kylian was right and Declan does say yes I won't be annoyed, if it wasn't for his sister I would have asked him, hell I would ditch my oddball of a district partner
"No now move" he says
"You didn't know what I wanted to say, what if I just wanted to say hi" I say
"Cut the bull shit Stellan I read your file you can act all sweet and innocent but I see right through you everyone should" he says I don't like the amount of tributes here but I just ignore it
I'm already a target my secret has been outed I'm predicted first and last year did show that the career pairs can crumble, but unlike with last year Kylian and I don't hold a personal relationship we aren't friends he is just a allie and when the time is right I'm cutting him loose it's unfair to say that but that's life people die and then we move on
This is the world we live in it's a rough and cruel unforgiving cycle of death and grief lucky for me I never experience fried, I had the perfect life yes I threw it away but it was worth it but I guess at the same time it maybe it wasn't I wish I knew why I liked killing so much, there has to be a reason but I can't come up with one when my parents came in I just acted shocked but also humble that I was ready to represent my district that I wanted to win for them
I wonder if they know now, they would have to be my file wasn't sealed they wanted my secret out apparently only the hand chosen get files but even then some are blank or vague like 9 and that annoys me its why they are on top of hit list
"Then you should know what I'm capable of but you should also know how valuable I can be come on man, your pretty much a career toy may be from nine but you have the mindset of one of us you belong with us, don't you want to work with people who can help you instead of pulling you back" I say he just looks at Aurelia who looks hurt at my words
"Fuck off, like I would work with both of you I would have a knife in my back" he say
"Maybe but do you really want to be a meat shield for a stupid little girl, hell I already can imagine the things I will do to her, maybe slice a few limbs off, skin her torso maybe gut her alive I am a fisherman after all, so you really think she has your back she is just using you, it's obvious I know girls like-" I just wince when his fist hits my nose
"You really want to repeat that threat because touch her and I could do worse now move" He says just pushing her away I should hit him back but if anything it shows his lack of control it's a weakness that can be exploited
"You are making a mistake, you know that right" I say
"It's obvious what you're doing" Aurelia stutters
I just tilt my head "You knew he would say no, you want to make us both each other let me guess it's your partners idea" she says
I go to grab her arm "Don't" Declan growls
"How do you know" I say quietly I did she know she is on the other side of the room
"Takes a genius to know one" she says then she walks off
"Fuck you" Declan snarls them he walks off after her, I walk back to Kylian "Well nice job Einstein that blew up in our faces and got me punched in the face" I say
"No it didn't it made him look like a even bigger target and it showed his sister isn't as as weak as we think" he says
"She called you a genius hiding something" I say
"I told you my story I engineer electrical and mechanical databases but maybe I am a little more sly then I look truth is I'm a nobody the fact my file is so bland the capitols want the mystery aspect it's why they kept it bland let tributes guess but I'm really nothing special" he says I rub my nose again maybe his either
I wish I can ask her more, or more so threaten her but Declan made his point clear he will stand in her way of danger until it really starts to crumble "What about weaponry" I say
"What about it, I hide my skills to hide my humiliation I'm predicted 6th I'm seen as the second weakest career" he shrugs unlike the boy from one who is lanky and scrawny Kylian is well built yet I never saw he do anything eith a weapon that's what concerns me even know his too cryptic
But I can't get paranoid I need to trust him, he wouldn't go to all this effort just to kill me in the bloodbath I'm important to him and if it means patronising him so be it soon enough I will find out his demons, these so called skeletons the whack head keeps mentioning too he could be insane I don't see insanity but I see something, there is a reason he doesn't want to train he just wants to sit at some station and do nothing, he said it's better to hide our skills I guess there is a reason why almost everyone is in here to do just that hide their skills even the street boys
The boy from 7 keeps glancing at the boy from 10 that could be a trip forming as he for some reason decided to allie with the little kid, it is a shame there are only two females this year I could have easily used one sadly they are both taken so won't be easy for me to use not in the sexual way of course I'm not that evil but I could have twisted them around my finger made them pawns in my game because it's clear Kylian won't let that happen to him
Levin Huxley 18, District 1 Male
Thankfully no one has chosen to approach us it's why we have been almost trying to move from room to room not staying in the same room for too long. With three pairings of careers. I almost expected one to come to us, to make some under-the-table deal to not kill each other I may have made one with two without speaking but to be honest I just caught the pyromaniac one staring at me so I just nodded.
Being a hitman you learn how to interact with everyone because even if we don't talk to our targets, we need to get into their heads and try to think like them.
I have had to kill some of District One's biggest criminals and it's a lot more work but what I learned is most of the time they just want to be left alone, it's feeling threatened that gets them to act out, with boys like them it's people of their childhood that causes them to crack not that I give any of them an excuse.
Hopefully, it means they won't target us but they haven't caused any trouble, they are just keeping to themselves unlike the boy from four who already almost started a fistfight with the boy from 9, it's clear what his intentions are, he wants to be the number one villain, he wants the attention from that role. It is clear the capitol wanted me to take that path and it's obvious why myself and Aurelia got the real files and no one else. In their eyes that's who they wanted the hero and villain, they painted me out to be one and deep down they aren't wrong, I am a villain, what I do it isn't right but I have reasons.
Doesn't matter now, I have to do everything in my power to win. I can't die, it's just not an option, and if that means being a killer I have to, it's my only option, anyone besides Cedric who I see becomes my target and even if I won't have days to prepare I know how to kill someone within seconds but it doesn't mean we make enemies it ks why we stay in the background everyone seems to do it besides Stellan but even now he has gone quiet.
I can tell him his district partner is an evil genius who if I had to get one person to show their true self it's him but then that brings attention to myself. As long as Aurelia doesn't tell anyone I have the files then we shouldn't have any issues, I doubt she would be that stupid, I may have a heart but it still doesn't mean I show mercy. I can torture.
Do I condone it?
No but if I have to, I have to, I know how to survive with minimal, recourses to I lived on the streets but as hard as it was, it was also district one, it still doesn't fully prepare me for the hunger games, when it comes to starting fires or being able to tell what's poisonous and what isn't, that's something I have yet to master plus due to my hesitant nature I know I'm vulnerable.
I don't know if being painted as a villain is a good or bad thing. It means tributes might be nervous to target me but at the same time it means I will be overestimated, when it comes to hand-on-hand combat I haven't had much experience, all my kills were quick and no one saw me, I haven't had the life experience someone like the boy from 9 has or even the boys from 7 and 10, that's what makes me nervous, being in one I never got into fights because street boys and gangs didn't exist, it means whoever I have to fight will be expecting a lot more then what they will get.
"Fuck one has some weirdos but not this bad," Cedric says, and he is another issue. I didn't think I would get so attached to this kid so quickly, but whether it's a similarity to one of my brothers or his natural innocence, it's endearing and makes me want to protect him that's when my morals and my need to win will conflict me because he will have to die, and even the thought of that is hard I don't do well with grief I remember losing it when my parents died, I couldn't handle it, if it wasn't for my siblings I even will be dead or who knows where, there is a monster inside me. I just have to control him and that's what scares me, Cedric, at the moment is a lot more important to me then he thinks.
In a game and personal way.
"I have seen a few crazy but you are right, like an arsonist and whatever the fuck Harley is," I say I mean that boys file is at least 15 pages long, and I'm not even close to being the smartest guy alive I am lucky I can read but I got lost so quickly.
"Would have you joined if there was a career alliance?" he asks I am a little taken back by his question as he stares at me wide-eyed.
"No I wanted you as allies, stop doubting your self kid, and if I had cruel intentions I wouldn't go out of my way to be nice to you. I'm not that type of hunter, hell I never even spoke to any of my victims, it's better that way, saves emotional connections" I say. I will protect Cedric but when it comes down to the crunch. I will run, I have to much to fight for and if that means allowing the darkness inside me so be it.
"Did you get a lot of money as a hitman?" he said
"A bit I wasn't as rich as you though" I tease
"Dude I wasn't rich" he says
"378 days in a row you went to that same cafe and bought a coffee worth 3 coins when I was in the slums we only got one coin a week," I say, it should annoy me that people like him throw money away but he sort of had cute intentions plus seeing him with his grandfather I believe it's another endearing thing. I sometimes went to that cafe I had to because a few of my targets went there so I bought some drink which was disgusting and sat and watched, not that Cedric knew if we were there at the same time he was in La La land quite a bit.
"So you were stalking me," he says
"Our schedules line up every day I went to the library which I had to go past the cafe away and it was the same time you went in, if you win you better propose to that girl," I say
I never stalked him but I did do research I mean the number of times I had to save the kid, I needed to know why he was allowing it to happen worried he had cruel intentions but he was just pleasant in nature, it's sad but that's life the nice people finish last and people like me tend to reign supreme but even I know I won't win.
If it wasn't for my siblings I don't know if I would have wanted too
"She was so pretty, like her," he says staring at the girl from 9 she side eyes him then shifts probably a little uncomfortable when I catch her, there seems to be a mutual attraction that's for sure. I do need to talk to her and make a deal she knows I have the files but is stopping her from telling the twos or four, yet she doesn't seem like a trouble maker, if anything she is someone I would have taken under my wing too, seeing how her brother talks and to her it isn't right but she isn't my concern if anything she might be a name on my kill count.
I just roll my eyes "Don't do that a boy can dream," he says
"They sure can, would you have ever volunteered if the system was normal" I say
"I wasn't even close to being chosen but even if I was no, I'm not a killer like there is a 14 year here, I couldn't live with myself to do that but I guess we have no choice, good guys finish last in these games, what about you, how did you avoid training," he says
"If you are a slum kid you are black, listed even being a street kid, I got my siblings enrolled but I already had a job as a hitman, it gave me a pass not that everyone else knew to everyone else I was a jewel miner," I say
"Fuck that's what Markus wanted to get me into, jewel mining," he says
"You wouldn't have lasted a day, no offence you are a bit let's say clumsy but hey you haven't fallen over today" I say
"Don't hold your breath me a few minutes and I will do something stupid, what did you want to do I'm happy practising survival for the two days?" he says
"We need to find you a weapon apparently your knife use is deplorable," I say
"Hey I can hit a target" he says I raise an eyebrow.
"Well sometimes," he says
"Hey don't stress just wait here, I just need to do something then I will come to help you" I say
He grabs my wrist "I uh what if I get into a fight" he says
"This isn't district one no one will bully you here" I say, he is scared I can see and respect that, I admit I'm scared too, it's not about dying but it's about what will happen to my siblings if I do die, what if the district kills them, what if saint hurts them because he is worried they know, there are so many consequences in my head so many bad things that can happen.
He just lets go "Don't worry I'm not going to ditch you" I say I saw Aurelia leave the room, Declan is still here, it may be the best chance to talk to her without alarming her brother who I know keeps glancing at me, he clearly knows, of course, she would tell him, there may be some tension there and they are estranged but they are still blood.
"You can if you want, but if you do watch your back oh wait no I'm kidding I wasn't threatening you, please don't hate me" he says I just laugh
"Fuck kid why did anyone hurt you," I say
"Rich kids I don't know, but thanks" he says I just smile at him as I just walk out I see Declan's watching me so I'm smart enough to go through another door his sister went, I just jump as I bump into someone as Harley just scrambles back, swearing something that I don't think is an English word, then running out.
Alright then
Hope they didn't put a target on my back not that I'm afraid of the kid he will be easy to kill as harsh as it sounds both will their insanity is too dominant, it will make them vulnerable it's why Stellan is a bigger threat he doesn't have mental disorders, he isn't delusional, he just kills because he wants too even I had a reason it was a bad one but it's a reason.
I go into the intelligence room not shocked to see her here, only the pair from 6 are in here as I walk over to her she looks up "I'm not here to hurt you I just want to talk" I say
She just looks around but then eventually nods "I know they gave you the real files including mine you know my entire story now," I say
"I wasn't going to tell anyone," she says
"You told your brother though," I say
"I had to" she mumbles, she is concerned by me or maybe she is like this in general of course she would be she was prisoner for ten years if anyone understood what I had to do it would be her.
"I'm not angry I just want to make sure you won't tell anyone else that I have the files, I don't care if I'm not seen as a villain that's not what I want" I say Jasper did warn me not to sir trouble like Andres or Corbin did, he said they blamed the nines for everything and they still got killed.
To be honest, I was shocked no one paid for Andres to be killed, but I guess it was more adults that wanted other adults killed, teenage boys normally did the job himself.
"I'm not going to don't stress but why us" she asks, I should be concerned by her capital favouritism in general the nines are a concern if I had the chance would I take it to kill one of them early. Declan maybe but Aurelia that's when my hesitation and morals may have forced me to spare her District Nine won last year, it's similar this year the careers and the underdogs, the same amount of underdogs as last year not sure if I would count Declan though if anything him and Cedric would be swapped.
"I have a few theories, I think they want us to be rivals but I don't want that, we aren't together but that doesn't mean we can't form some sort of agreement. I would rather not kill you and I know if I killed your brother it make you spiteful I don't want that sort of blood on my hands" I say.
Am I telling the truth a little bit, Declan is very confusing he is on the brink of being mentally unstable, but he isn't as bad as the twos. I don't think anyone can be worse than those two.
"I will keep your secret as long as you keep mine but I want safety for myself and my brother until top 4" she says, even if we don't have many street kids I know how they work they are dealers they always bargain hard at the start.
"You are dreaming kid, top 8 take it or I will target you in the bloodbath, you can tell everyone if you want but you don't want to make an enemy out of me, you know I have a family to get home to it makes me want to do everything in my power to win even if I have to be a villain by brutally killing the hero," I say
"It must be nice to have family, fine top 8" she says I just shake her hand
"Don't let him get to you though you're just as strong as him" I say as she stands up.
"It's so awkward because we haven't seen each other for so long but thanks your secret is safe with me but why don't you want everyone to know you aren't a bad guy" she asks
"Because nice guys don't win," I say
She just nodded and walked off, luckily no one else came in as both the sixes put their hand up when I looked at them I should have been annoyed they seemed scared but I am a career I can't be seen as gentle and kind as I want still doesn't change the fact I'm from district one, they instantly think I'm going to be a bad guy, a killer I guess they aren't wrong I have a whole book about it being a hitman, a killer, a book I still have.
A book that can help me in the games, I know how to play it smart and how to play it day by day but it still doesn't change the fact that one event can happen and everything I thought about myself could crumble.
Aurelia Callen 16, District 9 Female
I'm already prepared to sign my death certificate.
They say anything in the games can happen, that luck or one moment can change the entire dynamic, and as much as I tried to prepare, as much as I will use my intelligence it doesn't prepare me for the fear.
I'm already feeling the negative emotions. I look at half these tributes and I see myself being a torture dummy for them I told Declan I was willing to die for him.
But was that really true?
I really don't know, Brayen makes it out that winning is worse than dying without actually saying that and maybe he is right but the fact I don't know my fate is the scary thing. I had a career right in front of me, where I could have asked him to put me down quickly when the time was right but there is something in Levin's eyes that set alarm bells as well. I spent ten years surrounded by murderers boys that would do anything for survival, I know what that does to someone even myself, it changes you, and it puts almost a darkness inside you.
Even if I can't imagine myself ending a life I still contribute and deep down I didn't care. I moved on and I will forever hate myself for it, it feels weird being away from the district pretty much having the freedom to make my own choices. I almost have been waiting for orders but I know that isn't my life anymore, I'm not a prisoner I am my own person, I need to start thinking for myself, and fighting for myself but at the end of the day I'm still with my brother, it has been rocky at times, we have a heart to heart and other times he would say something that makes us not speak for hours, it's why I had to leave the room there was too much obvious tension.
And after Stellan tried to recruit him, instead of telling me it would be okay, he blamed me like this was all my fault, like it was my fault getting kidnapped all those years ago. I never asked for it, I didn't ask to be snatched away and be a prisoner, a slave, a punching for all those years after everything I endured to let myself just fall victim to the hunger games it doesn't feel right, I didn't want any of this.
I want to fight to the end, I want to survive but survive the Hunger Games it isn't just that
Brayen hasn't left my side in the capitol, from sleeping on the couch next to my bed to being glued to my hip in the apartment to make sure my brother doesn't put me down and I don't think he wants me alone with Xander who even if he has given me advice, gives me this weird looks like he's trying to hold himself back from killing me or something.
Brayen has been there for me, which means I can ask him questions that make me see what really is going on, you look at Xander and you see a lost soul, he gets angry at the little things like some article in the paper or when someone turns a light on without letting him know. It seems like he is trapped in a vicious cycle and I know how it feels, but neither of them can answer my question about whether it's better to live or allow myself to die, even if Xander is mentoring Declan it's obvious he isn't as committed to Declan as Brayen said he was with Kaela and he has been available for advice but when it comes down to that question even he said he doesn't want to answer.
He said don't die because of Declan, that my brother wouldn't do it for me but it's easier said than done, but at the same time I'm not ready to die yes I have almost tried to end my life but that was due to the trauma. It was due to not wanting to wake up and be abused eventually the feeling became numb, eventually, I started to stop feeling sorry for myself and it helped even now I'm not going to pity myself, I'm not going to dwell but I still don't know what I want.
We haven't really spoken about a plan every time we do it starts an argument.
He wants to treat it like we are on the streets and that we don't need to hide and if we prepare, we can fight I just want to hide. Play the game of cat and mouse, I knew I had to walk away before we started a full-on argument, he did hit me before I just took it in, I'm too use to it and that's the hardest thing I should turn away make other allies, allies that actually are nice, that will care but I know Declan cares he is just broken.
And you can't fix what's broken
I should know, I just stare at the books, reading helps me escape but it's also how I worked out how to do what I do, how to engineer, how to build traps, books have answers for everything sadly it doesn't have answers on how to survive the hunger games. Brayen was always prepared he was a well-built fighter and Xander had to become insane to survive, I need to use my brain.
"I like reading to its interesting how creative people can be"
I just pull the book closer as my eyes meet Harley and I feel my heart almost pound against my chest as he shuffles closer to me "What is your favourite type of book" I say to the previous leader Ryley before Dalton he was a little let's say screwed in the head, he was only 16 when they got me, thrust into leadership when he knew he wasn't ready, that's probably why they kidnapped me so soon, they lost a lot of their senior members against the outlaws they wanted protection, they wanted a weapon.
He has a whirlwind of emotions, emotions he couldn't handle which caused him to do things, like sexually assault a six-year-old and do it every night until he passed away four years ago so I can understand the mind of the mentally ill.
I know how to speak to them it's not a talent I'm proud of, he just smiles at me standing even closer, closing the space we have between us.
"I like fairy tales, they have a big amount of books in two, I like reading them to the dead sometimes it calms them, what about you?" he says
I just keep a straight face as I flinch when he just strokes my chin, I should kick him between the legs and get the fuck away from this freak but I really don't want to be targeted by them, so I can't anger him any more.
"Academic books, I like learning," I say
I feel him put something in my hand "Your brother threw our rock away that was quite rude" he stutters
"I don't know what we did but please, don't target us" I say
"You are really pretty you know that you seem to have a big heart too. I can already imagine slicing you up, stealing your heart, I might even steal your eyes" he says just dragging his finger down my neck.
Stay calm, stay calm.
"You don't scare me," I say
"Don't I, because your heart is saying another question it's pounding against your chest almost like it will self implode?" he says. I just grab his wrist when his about to touch my chest area.
"Don't," I say he just smirks at me but he isn't coming across as evil, if anything more frazzled, he came to send me his letter that I'm a target. I don't know if it's because of what Xander did all those years ago, he did warn us Everett tells the District 2 tributes to target the nines or I'm some sort of I don't know surrogate but this kid isn't delusional not like his partner, he is just really really mentally fucked in the head. He believes he is a doctor but he caused the symptoms.
"I know your secret, your entire file and your partners, do you really want me to tell everyone," I say. I have to threaten him I'm getting nervous right now, he is getting a little too touchy for my liking, nothing in his file points to being sexually sadistic but I don't like the looks, it's not like the ones the boy from one gives me those are cute and endearing like he has a massive crush on me, not from Harley it's a more I want to cut apart and play with your insides type of look.
"You wouldn't you are not stupid," he says
"Your words don't scare me, I'm sick of being scared of people like you" I say
"Your voice says another thing you are a terrified little lamb it is adorable don't worry I wasn't here for a fight I just wanted to give your rock back, tell everyone I don't care the second the gong guys everyone's true colours will show. The second I get junior back, I will force, you do not want to get in my way because I really do want to help you, at first I wanted to punish you for being from nine but not anymore, you are special," he whispers just shouldering me then walking out.
Who the fuck is Junior?
I just stand there stunned, looking at the rock and putting it in my pocket, I will get rid of it later sadly no one was in here, he didn't even threaten me, it's like he doesn't care if I tell people but I won't it isn't worth it. I want to stay in the background I just jump when I hear footsteps.
"I was getting worried then I saw two walk-ins from this room, he didn't hurt you did he," Declan says, he is good at making it seem as if he cares maybe he does, he is a bit I don't know bipolar, one second he is calm and actually nice, the next second he is insulting the crap out of me, yet he is always protective.
"He was just at the other station, he stared at me a bit but he didn't say anything they just want to be left alone, that's what boys like them are like," I say
Unless they have a personal vendetta against you and for some reason, they do "You were right about hiding, staying away from the dramas it's better, eventually we will find tributes but I'm not a ruthless killer, I don't want to just go around killing peoples" he says
"How many have you killed?" I ask
"Over 100 I am a outlaw remember, we aren't like you outsiders we don't have a heart" he says
"Hearts can get easily broken it's better not to have one, what did you see" I ask.
He was going to go to the weapon room to see if anyone was training and training himself. I was going to do a little bit tomorrow, I just wanted the first day to go by but nothing really has happened besides the brewing alliance between the pair from ten and seven, no other real alliances have formed it's a game of pairs or trio this year similar to last year. Positive is no one would have power in numbers negative means it's easier to hide from one big group than multiple pairs and each of the three career pairs has one or two members that are killers, hunters,
And the boy from Kylian has a similar intelligence level to me, no doubt he would target me when he wants to. I don't know where their mentality is this year, last year it almost shifted that the strong outers were starting to get targeted first.
What if that happens again, it means my brother is a target, me, well I'm not a threat, not physically anyway but brains never beat brawn in a fight and it's not like I excelled at analysing fights.
"The boy from four was showing off, while his partner just stood there and didn't practise at all, the boy from seven practises a with little axe but not for long, they were really the only ones in there, why is that?" he says
"It's clear some want to hide their skills, maybe with Stellan there, districts one and two didn't want to engage with him, they don't want us outers to think there is a deal in case we want to form an anti-career alliance that's really my only theory it probably is wrong," I say
"It seems correct, Xander did help me a bit last night during the private session," Declan says
"See he doesn't hate you" I say
"Oh he does but I guess it's his job," he says. Brayen helped me a little bit late at night with a short sword. I get the idea of it, but I hope I won't have to be in that position if anything a knife seems like the easier kill weapon since guns aren't available, not that I would want them, I would be as good as dead if they allowed guns.
The bell goes as everyone is quick to file out "If it wasn't an act would have you joined four" I say
"No, I'm either a lone wolf or a member of a pack but I only help the ones I'm loyal to," he says I guess I should be happy about that but I won't pry anymore, we haven't really spoken much besides the games, haven't spoken much about our lives. I know he is trying to hold back scared of being attached. I already am even if he is nothing like the brother I used to admire, I still want to trust him, I want that relationship.
If I die I want to die happy and I haven't felt happiness since I was 6 the saddest thing is the happiest I have been was when my name was called, it was pure relief knowing I could escape that if by some miracle, if I do survive I am free from the outsiders and that I'm with my brother, I just didn't expect this whirling of emotions we make it back to our apartment.
"Good you are both alive" Xander says
"You seriously don't trust me," Declan says
"Not you robocop the others, two, four even one, do I need to abuse any mentor tonight," Xander says
"Four tried to make a fake deal with me to try and cause tension between us, he wants to play games," Declan says
"Oh great I can call Cassia, I love abusing that woman," he says and just like that Xander walks out the room like he wants an excuse to not talk to Declan or me but he has been good with me, he has actually spoken to me, Brayen said he didn't even call him the right name.
"You all good," Brayen says rubbing my shoulder I just nod as Declan just nods to me walking to his room.
"It's not going to be the same, I mean I was stupid to expect it, I just feel like I'm on tight tightrope with him, one second he is fine the next he is a jerk and I'm not really that emotionally strong" I say, he said something to me last night and I burst into tears in the bathroom because I'm not mentally strong then I had to make a excuse to Brayen saying I was sick and needed space then he started to be concerned because Xander said I could be pregnant, which I mean could happen but I wasn't sick.
"Pain makes you human remember that, I would rather you be a balling mess than become someone you won't be able to look at in the mirror, he is struggling it's obvious he isn't used to feeling this way, he needs support just be there for him. That's what I did with Kaela after we escaped, I was just there I didn't try to make it better but I was willing to listen, that's what people want, sometimes we don't went someone trying to help us, we just want someone to listen" he says.
He is right I didn't try to help him but maybe I was to forceful maybe I accidentally made him feel guilty, made him feel like it was his duty to protect me when it isn't.
I can protect myself, will I survive probably not but it's worth the shot.