Author's note: bittersweet-stories, thank you so much for the review and the compliment! Guest, thank you so much for the review!
zlatanbaranovic, werewolf1423, fko124, bittersweet-stories, Sagara Black, Prototype-27-F, EggMcLegg, DarthMarr99 and Darkside69, thank you for the follows. (Special mention to Egg for the hilarious name.)
zlatanbaranovic, werewolf1423, conlhy, bittersweet-stories, Sagara Black, Prototype-27-F and Darkside69, thank you for the favorites.
Ok, so... when I did a count of Chapter 2 it was shaping up to be well over 9000 (heh) words, so I split it into two chapters. So now I essentially have a completed chapter up my sleeve, which is never a bad thing. The downside is that you guys will now have to wait 'til Chapter 3 for some cool scenes you would have gotten today. Bummer, hey.
Even If it's the Last Thing I Do
by Jungian Excuse
- Chapter Two -
- Secrets and Revelations -
Stalking prey in Terminal Dogma is difficult when every sharp sound echoes and reverberates like a cymbal strike in an empty cave. Difficult, but not impossible. Misato carried her boots in one hand and her pistol in the other as she rounded a corner and spied her quarry, tall and ponytailed, wearing the ugliest uniform that NERV, the home of ugly uniforms, had to offer. Why he agreed to wear it, she had no idea - though she supposed it did bring out his eyes. Misato hadn't dressed according to regulations since the day she got there, and nobody had said word one to her.
She did a quick tactical appraisal. Whatever Kaji was doing at that security terminal that had him so engrossed probably wouldn't keep him occupied for long, so she had to move fast. She looked him up and down – admittedly not for the first time - and saw no obvious bulges or creases in his uniform. Not that that meant much, especially when she could only see his back. She had to assume he was armed. The question was, would he be willing to use a weapon on her? After all, she thought she'd had Kaji figured out before, more than once, and been proven wrong.
Hostile until proven otherwise, she decided. Besides, she had him dead to rights, and she just had to know what he was up to down here. She didn't sneak, but she did walk slowly and deliberately on socked feet, shifting to keep maximally out of his line of sight at all times. He still hadn't reacted by the time she got close enough to touch him. So she did.
"Ahem."
Kaji froze but didn't flinch or jump when she drew back the hammer of her pistol and pressed the muzzle to the back of his head in an unmistakable message. He just slowly raised his hands, making sure to keep them out to his sides where she could see them. Had he known she was there from the start, or was he really just that smooth?
"So, how's the hangover?" he asked.
"It's fine; you know me. Thanks for helping me out last night. So, have I interrupted you at work? Or is this just a hobby of yours?"
"Hmm. What do you think?"
She pressed the gun just a little bit harder. "I think you're playing games, Kaji. Working for NERV while spying on them for the Japanese government is a pretty dangerous one, don't you think? Which department is it, any way? Home Office? Ministry of the Interior? The public library, maybe?
Kaji chuckled. "You're very astute, Katsuragi."
"Don't underestimate us, Kaji," she said, irritated by his apparent unflappability. "NERV isn't stupid."
"Oh, so you're under orders? Did Ikari send you after me?"
"No, I'm acting on my own for now. Consider this a warning for old time's sake. But also understand that commander Ikari isn't stupid, either. If you keep pushing him, you know what's going to happen to you."
"Well, I do appreciate the heads-up. As far as Ikari goes, he still has his uses for me, so I'm not too worried yet. I am sorry for lying to you, though. Truly."
"I'll let it slide. Like I said, for old times sake."
"And like I said, I appreciate it. Anyway, speaking of lies, here's what Ikari and Ritsu have been keeping from you." Before Misato could react, he twirled the red access card he was holding and plunged it into the card reader in front of him.
As the giant mechanical doors opened to reveal the physical god in NERV's basement, the part of Misato's mind that wasn't blowing fuses reasoned on how she'd long known that NERV was wading through something nasty, but she never suspected that they were all in up to their necks and still sinking.
While the United Nations' influence increased greatly after the Second Impact, their power was still largely symbolic. After Third Impact and the so-called 'Great Return,' however, the UN had worked quickly to establish itself as a dominant power on the world scene. Nobody was quite sure how it all came about, since their many disparate elements had been figuratively and literally dissolved, with a majority being individuals who had not, and likely would not, ever return. They were headquartered, for the moment, in Japan, but with vast plans to establish semi-autonomous branches all over the world. And almost before the ink on their new charter was dry, they'd reincorporated NERV and designated them as their military arm.
Which wasn't as problematic as it might have been. As far as the world at large was concerned, NERV had done its level best to stop Third Impact and almost succeeded. At some point between then and the restoration of mankind, SEELE had come to shoulder the entire blame for everything that had gone on, with very few people who knew the whole truth.
Commander Misato Katsuragi was one of those people.
Misato wasn't sure why exactly the UN had not only decided to drag NERV from the ashes of the past but also assign them a military function and install her, as the most senior survivor in the organization's former chain of command, as its new leader. Aside from their monstrous living super-weapons and the horrors going on at the subterranean levels, NERV had been little more than a glorified bureaucracy, research lab, and server farm. When the time came, the real military had ground them quite efficiently into the dirt. Had NERV not been able to sortie their Evas against SEELE's best efforts to stop them, they would've been a footnote in history in the span of a few hours. Even now, they had no dedicated fighting force of their own; the vast majority of her job was the coordination of other people's armies - troops and resources volunteered by member nations. While every member of staff was required to complete a rating with a pistol and rifle and pass a basic self-defense course, Misato was one of less than a dozen people there who even had any formal combat training.
Still, the resurrection of NERV had landed her a job. A very comfortable, high-paying job with a myriad of perks.
A job that allowed her to keep a close eye on certain people. People important to her, and people important in other ways. So Misato was in no rush to buck any trends or look any gift horses in their leather-furnished mouths. Not just now, anyway. For the time being, NERV's dark secrets remained exactly that.
One of those secrets being that it wasn't entirely true that Misato was the most senior survivor of the legacy regime. There was one other man of a much higher rank than hers who had emerged from the LCL, but he was making himself scarce.
It was most definitely the smart move on his part.
Sitting in her ridiculously spacious, leather-decked office, three stories and two layers of radiation-shielded armor plating below United Nations headquarters in the Osaka prefecture, Misato thought often about who had and hadn't come back after the end. One person in particular, above all. Well, two, really.
She had done her mourning for Kaji. Gone, she felt certain, in a way beyond what it meant for those in the LCL sea. While return from Instrumentality meant her physical scars were a distant memory, the wound on her heart remained deep and fresh for a long time. But eventually that too had healed, although she would never, and could never, forget him.
The other ghost, while less painful to reflect upon, would still bring on a sad, wistful smile from time to time. Her best friend and NERV's head scientist, Ritsuko Akagi, had also failed to return. The higher certainty that she could and still might some day made the memory less bitter than the other, as did the hope that perhaps somehow her mother was there with her and that they had reconciled and found happiness in each other.
Misato leaned back in her hand-tooled leather executive chair and contemplated the cavernous vaulted ceiling above her, heating which she felt certain accounted for at least half of the facilities' energy costs. Lost in thought, she almost jumped when the buzzer on her desk went off, letting her know there was someone waiting outside her office door. Due to a recent terror threat, everything in the UN offices above and the subterranean NERV facility below it was locked down tighter than a hangman's noose. She flipped the switch for the intercom. "Yes?"
"Corporal Higgins, ma'am," a male voice said in English.
"Please come in, corporal," Misato ordered in the same language. She pressed a button under her desk. The twin doors on the other side of the room slid open with a pneumatic hiss, and corporal Wayne Higgins marched through them and up to her desk. All six-foot-four-inches of him. One of the few other military-trained personnel at NERV, Higgins had been a British special forces operator of some repute back in the old world. If the UN ever got its ass in gear and built NERV up a proper armed force, there was little doubt as to who would be the number one prospect to lead it. He was tragically wasted on his current menial administration job.
He'd kept himself in top physical condition, too, and Misato observed with admiration his musculature and the way it rippled under his uniform as he walked. Definitely wasted on admin. Down, girl, she thought to herself. You're spoken for.
He stepped up to her desk and snapped to attention. "Commander Katsuragi."
"Good morning, Higgins. As you were," she continued to address him in English because she knew his spoken Japanese was atrocious. It was definitely something he needed to work on if he ever hoped for a leadership position in this organization.
He fell into parade rest, took a manila folder from under his arm, and held it out to her. It was dishearteningly thick. "Yesterday's reports, ma'am. The latest on the investigation into the current terror threat is at the top."
Misato took it from him with a small sigh of resignation. "Thank you, Higgins," she said. She would never have believed that she could miss email so much. She skimmed the folder briefly and dropped it on the desk in front of her. "That will be all, corporal. When you get back to admin, could you find out where Captain Hyuga is and have him report to my office? Thank you."
"Yes, ma'am, right away." Higgins saluted her again, turned smartly on his heel, and walked out while Misato enjoyed the view.
She was barely two pages into the reports on her desk when the hiss sounded again. She looked up and smiled when she saw Makoto Hyuga framed in her office doorway. As a senior officer, he had access and didn't need to be buzzed in. Misato stood up, walked around to the front of her desk, and perched on the leading edge. She said, "Good morning, Captain. Please come in."
"Commander Katsuragi." Hyuga returned her smile and approached her much as Higgins had done, except not quite as smartly. His salute when he stepped up to her was much sloppier, too. "Good morning to you too, ma'am. I see you've received yesterday's reports." He dropped the salute and moved a step closer. "I compiled them myself, you know," he said. The light glinted from his glasses as he flashed her a cheeky grin.
"So I know who to fire, then," Misato grinned back as she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss.
She had lost Kaji and Ritsuko. Shinji and Asuka had gone their own way, which Misato knew was probably safest for them. And if any of her blood family or anyone else she had would have called a close friend had emerged from the LCL, certainly Misato never learned of it. But at least one person she knew from the old world had. He was her strongest memory from Instrumentality, and he'd been reborn right alongside her. He wasn't dashing like Kaji had been, or ruggedly handsome, and he didn't possess the same one-in-a-million intellect as Ritsuko. But with his quiet competence, practical good sense, boyish looks, and dogged-nice-guy routine, he had been a reliable constant in her other life and became an even bigger one in the new world.
So when the UN undersecretary responsible for overseeing the reestablishment of NERV asked her if she had any recommendations for the post of captain, there was only one name on her list.
"Mmm, yummy." Misato hummed when they eventually separated. She licked the tip of his nose and had the pleasure of watching his glasses fog up. It never failed to put a burning fire in the very pit of her stomach whenever she observed how utterly and devastatingly desirable he found her. "My message from Higgins couldn't have gotten you here this fast. Did you just stop by to get lucky?"
"H- Higgins? Uh, no. I, uh, haven't seen him yet today." Makoto stammered as he fought to calm himself and regain something like composure. Misato helped him straighten his jacket. The new NERV uniforms were somehow even more drab and depressing than the old ones had been. "I've just come from Intelligence. They said that two of the names you requested be flagged have just gone red on the internal network at the Allied Naval Command's SOJ branch." He reached into a pocket, withdrew a sealed cardboard envelope, and passed it to her. It was a brilliant red and marked TOP SECRET – CMDR. KATSURAGI – EYES ONLY in bold white print. Trust NERV Intelligence Division to bring the theatrics. "The secure intranet email system is still under audit due to the terror alert, so they asked me to deliver this to you in person."
Misato's brow furrowed as she took it from him. "Sea of Japan? That's close." She tore the perforated strip off the back. She had a sinking feeling she knew what she might find inside, or rather, who.
Makoto nodded in agreement. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked, gesturing to the envelope and its secret contents. She thought about it, then shook her head. Something told her she wanted Hyuga in her confidence on this one.
"No. If this is about who I think it might be, I'm going to need you in on this. What's your schedule looking like for today?"
"Nothing I can't move around, if you think this is important enough."
"Well, let's find out," said Misato. She pinched the cardboard sleeve open and shook the piece of folded paper inside into her hand. Hyuga watched her closely as she read it.
"What is it?" He asked in alarm when she gasped, and her eyes went wide.
She looked up at him, her face frozen in shock. "Oh, no," she whispered.
The letters were getting longer and longer as Shinji and Asuka rediscovered each other and fell in love for the second time. Asuka had graduated from the German Naval Academy with the highest honors and was promptly shipped off to the Middle-Eastern Disputed Zone. She'd already done two of the six months of active duty required to get her full accreditation as an aviator. After that, due to her status as the German Navy's golden child, she had been promised her choice of posting anywhere in the world, which, happily enough, included Japan. With any luck, she could serve her mandated six-year tour barracked right in her very own home. If not, Shinji could just move with her to wherever she was posted. And the navy had all but stated outright that her theater of operations was to be strictly promotion and public relations. After all, a highly attractive young female aviation prodigy isn't the kind of asset you just throw into a meat grinder. And after that, she was done. They would be together, and nothing, not men or Angels, would ever separate them again.
Shinji mulled over all this as he lay in their bed, opposite a window overlooking the sea. Before sleep claimed him, he recalled excitedly that in just three short weeks, Asuka would have her first approved leave. She'd fly into Seoul, and Shinji would also fly in to meet her there, and the navy was paying for all of it. It would be their first in-person contact in over a year since their somber separation on the deck of that US aircraft carrier. And if Asuka's letters were anything to go by, she had an urgent need – a need that was becoming more urgent almost by the day and would demand immediate and repeated fulfillment. Shinji hoped the German Navy had money enough in their budget for re-plastering hotel room walls. With that happy thought and not a little thermal expansion, he drifted off to sleep.
Shinji had only been asleep for an hour or so when his eyes snapped open. He'd been woken by a nightmare, his first since he and Asuka had reconciled. The feeling sat heavily on his chest, but what it had been about, he couldn't remember. He closed his eyes, lay still, and waited for the anxious feeling to go away and for sleep to reclaim him. But the feeling, far from going away, got worse and worse until it became a pall of dread.
Suddenly, Shinji knew with absolute certainty that something was very, very wrong.
His breathing quickened, and his skin prickled and crawled. A guttural rumbling sounded faintly in his ears, so faint at first he wasn't even sure he was really hearing it, but it got louder and louder, and finally it revealed itself to be car engines. Cars traveled up the highway that bordered their property only rarely and never came close enough to be heard this loudly.
They're coming here. Shinji flung the covers aside, leapt to his feet, and raced to the bedroom window, shivering slightly in his thin shorts and t-shirt. Their back garden and the hill behind it were cast in a faint white glow that got brighter as he watched. Headlights, he realized suddenly. Whoever it was, they were on his property and pulling up to the house.
Who the hell could it possibly be? He was scanning the room for something to defend himself with when the phone beside the bed suddenly jangled to life behind him, giving him the fright of his life. He raced over to it and picked it up. "Hello?!"
"Mr. Ikari?" It was a man's voice, speaking Japanese in what Shinji instantly recognized as a heavy German accent.
"Yes. Speaking."
"Mr. Ikari, this is petty officer Behlke of the Allied Naval Command in New Edo, calling on behalf of Admiral Lehmann of the Federal Navy of Germany. The admiral has sent men to your home to speak with you. Please, do not be alarmed."
Asuka. His heart dropped like a stone. "What the hell is going on? Is my wife alright?" he demanded. His pulse thudded loudly in his ears.
"I am sorry, Mr. Ikari, but these men have been sent to speak with you personally because they have information that cannot be relayed over the telephone for security reasons. I'm afraid you must wait for them. Goodbye, Mr. Ikari."
"What the hell is-" The line went dead, and, almost on cue, someone pounded on the front door downstairs. Shinji took the stairs three at a time, raced to the door, and flung it open. The man who had knocked jumped slightly as it slammed and bounced off the wall, but took it in his stride. Dressed in a dark suit, he was tall and dark-haired with European features. Behind him was another European man, blond and similarly dressed. Though they wore civilian clothes, they carried themselves in a way that was unmistakably military. Two 4WDs sat in the gravel clearing in front of his house with their lights on and engines running, with more shadowy figures inside.
"Mr. Ikari," the dark-haired man began. Another German accent. "This is lieutenant commander Becker of the Federal Navy of Germany. I am Lieutenant Weber of the Allied Naval Command. I believe you are expecting us."
"Can I see some identification?" Shinji asked. They handed it over. Satisfied, Shinji went on, "I spoke to someone claiming to be calling on behalf of an Admiral Lehmann a few moments ago. What the hell is this? Where is my wife?"
The German men exchanged looks. "Perhaps it would be best if we came in?" Weber suggested gently as he tucked his ID back into his chest pocket.
Shinji's white-knuckled hands gripped the door frame until it felt as though the wood would come apart. "Where is my wife?" he repeated.
Weber shot another look at Becker. "Very well," he said, clearing his throat. "Mr. Ikari, I am very sorry to inform you that at approximately 1530 hours Arabia Standard Time, Captain Asuka Ikari and her navigator, Commander Winston Smit, were flying patrol in the far north of the Middle-Eastern Disputed Zone when they were shot down over..."
Reality lurched and shifted. A roaring sound filled Shinji's head, drowning out the German officer's voice.
She's dead. She's dead, and you killed her. You drove her away, and now she's dead, and she's never coming back and she's dead, and it's your fault.
"Mr Ikari..."
It was over. Shinji swayed on his feet. All over. The voice seemed very far away. Was it talking to him?
"Mr Ikari?" A hand on his shoulder brought the world back suddenly and painfully into focus. Shinji knocked the hand away and locked eyes with the owner.
"What happened then?" He managed to get out.
Weber looked worried and unsure whether he should continue. "Are you alright, Mr. Ikari? Perhaps we should go inside so that you may sit- "
Shinji cut the other man short. "What happened?" he repeated icily.
Weber shifted uncomfortably as Shinji's eyes bore into his. "Captain Ikari and her co-pilot both ejected," he went on. "Local intelligence indicates that they both survived the ejection."
A wave of relief washed over Shinji, making him feel giddy and weak. "So she's alive? Is she alright? Where is she?"
Weber cleared his throat again. "We believe she is alive, yes. However... the area in which they went down is now known to be a hot spot for insurgents. When the teams were sent in, they found two bodies in the area, both known and wanted terrorists. We believe that either Captain Ikari or her co-pilot shot them in self-defense. There were no other bodies and no sign of our pilots."
"But what does it all mean?" Shinji asked in confusion. Should he be hopeful or not? "Where is she now?"
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Ikari." Lieutenant Becker broke in with a look at Weber, speaking for the first time," but it seems your wife has been taken prisoner somewhere in the northern MDZ. We have no idea where she is."
Author's note: Gosh, there's an awful lot of lovey-dovey stuff in something I seem to remember promising would have lots of awesome action, isn't there? Not to worry, we'll be dropping bodies and scarring psyche's before you know it! As always, feedback of any and all kinds will be mainlined directly into my ego.