Author's Note

This chapter... how do I describe this chapter? It's the longest of this summer. It's filler. It's hilarious. It's alarming. It takes place at a real event, with a real person who was there that day, yet how I involve them is absolute nonsense. …and I love it!

Also, for those who are going to nitpick about real-time things, by 1994 in the UK it was still illegal for anyone under 21 years old to be in a homosexual relationship, and PDAs are straight up not allowed.

Now let's enjoy the show!

After her release, the following two days were mostly spent sleeping, gorging on chocolate, and spending time with her parents. The next few days mainly involved visits from both sides of the family. Which consisted of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents cooing over her poor state. A state easily explained away by the coma story, yet the glazed-over excuse was draining in its own right. The following day she was visited by her muggle friends, a time that was merciful not spent thinking about the previous months.

"-and then, the whole thing falls apart, leaving just him sitting on the loo!"

"Ha! Oh god, no!" Melissa wheezed in laughter, nearly falling off the couch in the process. "So he's out in the open!"

"Exactly!" Sarah grinned. "So the T-rex takes a step and just SNAPS him like that!"

"Oh, god, that's hilarious! What a way to go!"

Sitting beside Melissa, Tally shook his head. "Sarah, you're giving away the entire movie!"

"Listen!" Melissa groused, "I'm not going to see it in theatres anyways. It's going to be spoiled for me no matter what. Might as well hear it from you, two."

"I haven't seen it, either," Victoria added with a smile, "but I can handle a little bit of spoiling."

"The T-rex is the biggest part, though!" Tally cried.

The comment amused Melissa in more ways than one. "T-rexes are pretty big."

"Oi, shut it!" Tally rolled his eyes, though he had enough of a smile to tell what he really thought. "You're lucky you're recovering or else you'd get a cushion to the face for that!"

"And who, pray tell, would be around to give you all of these chocolatey desserts if I'm knocked out with another coma?" Her hand waved over the sweet-filled table for emphasis.

The reminder put Sarah in a lazy grin. "She's got you there. I, for one, prefer to see you up and about."

"Much appreciated," Melissa chirped.

Victoria segued the conversation. "Speaking of which, do you think you'll be able to take a small trip this weekend?"

"Maybe?" To be honest, the thought of going on any kind of excursion felt exhausting. Not that she would admit as much to her friends. "Why do you ask?"

Victoria looked over at the other two, receiving encouraging nods before continuing. "Well, we planned a birthday gift for you that, luckily, isn't interfering with your time in the hospital after all-"

"Oh my god, Tori," Sarah rolled her eyes, "just tell her already!"

Victoria flushed into a pout. "Fine! …We bought tickets to a couple shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival."

"Whoa! What?! -Whoa-" This time, she really did fall off the couch. Ignoring the new soreness, she popped up smiling. "The Fringe Festival?! I haven't been there in years!"

"Well that's what makes it a great gift, innit?" Tally grinned as he helped her up. "So, what'd you say? Are you in?"

"God, yes! Hold on-" She twisted herself over the couch. "HEY MUM, MY FRIENDS GOT ME TICKETS TO THE FRINGE FESTIVAL! CAN I GO?"

There was a pause as her mum heard the message and walked over to the den. "The Fringe? I don't know, Sweetheart. Travelling to Scotland might be too much for you right now."

"Some exercise will do me good. Plus the fresh air. I haven't been outside this whole time!"

Her mum gave an amused smile. "You went on an outing a couple days ago."

"That was for Fudge, that doesn't count!" She whined. It continued, even as her friends started to snicker. "Pleeeease? This is probably the only fun I'm going to have all summer!"

That did it. Her mum's expression softened. "...If you do, you'll need a proper chaperone. I can call Remus to stay with you."

Victoria answered her nervously. "My parents are taking us, Mrs. Bennett. We do have an extra ticket, but I don't think they'd be comfortable having a strange man come with us."

Her mum looked genuinely conflicted with that answer. Melissa, meanwhile, was in the middle of deciphering why Remus Lupin would be her suggestion, of all people. It's not like they're close. Oh, unless… "If we need a Scotland-based chaperone, I could call Donaghan or Heathcote?" She turned over to Victoria. "They'd be okay, right?"

Victoria considered the idea. "I can vouch for them to my parents. Would that be alright, Mrs Bennett?"

"I suppose that's fine," she sighed. "Though I'd like to speak with them first."

"Sure. No problem." She looked over at her friends with a wide grin. "We're going to the Fringe!"

Saturday August 21st, 1993

Her first day at the Fringe was fun! Fun, and exhausting! The streets were packed with people, music, food, and laughter. An overload of sensations that was a complete 180 to her life over the past four and a half months. An overload, and yet Melissa was absolutely loving it!

"That band was amazing!" She cried. "I can't believe how many groups they've got this year!"

Heathcote grinned right along with her. "I swear they've got the entire world playing here!"

"It's a famous festival for a reason," Donaghan added. "Why do you think I insisted we all get tickets?"

"He's got you there," Herman bumped his shoulder. "You're lucky Giggles and her friends had one, or else you'd have missed this whole event."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"

Behind the adult wizards, the younger teens chuckled. "I can't believe Donaghan's friends have never been here. Aren't they in a band?"

"They're parents are a bunch of posh muppets. Honestly half my school is like that, so it doesn't surprise me," Melissa shrugged.

"Sounds like a nightmare," Sarah shuddered. "I still can't believe they don't have tellies or computers. Our school has a computer lab and everything!"

Melissa grunted. "Sadly the people running mine are traditionalists in the worst sense."

"You could always transfer?"

"Tempting, but with GCSEs around the corner I have to pass. This school may be behind the times, but they do know how to get you prepared."

The group muttered their own woes about the upcoming tests. Especially Victoria as she's entering her final year. Luckily the conversation changed course as they went off for dinner. According to Heathcote, Merton and Orsino found a place nearby and would meet them there. Fortunately they were well aware of the muggle entourage, so they played things cool once their group arrived.

"I'll admit, I'm surprised," Melissa commented to Victoria as the adults got heavy into talks about the festival. "I never imagined your parents would be alright with this group."

"I'm a bit surprised, too. Though it's not like they haven't met before."

"Really?"

"Of course," Victoria blinked, confused. "When my mum drops me off at the studio. You do know I worked with them on their new album, right?"

"No?"

Victoria's expression turned pitying. "Oh, I thought your dad told you. Sorry, of course, you've only been home for a week-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

Merton, overhearing the two, took the opportunity of a segue. "Speaking of being back home, are you taking up Dom's offer?"

"For the interview and the welcome back party?" Seeing his nod, Melissa continued. "I don't see why not. It's not til the end of summer, anyways. I'll have a few days of rest before then."

"Brill! I'll send an owl to let him know."

Victoria looked at the boy strangely. "An owl?"

Merton cringed at his slip. Luckily Melissa was well-used to such slips and gave her friends an exaggerated eye roll. "It's a dumb acronym, don't ask. I should probably write the letter, anyway. Seeing as it's for me, and all."

"Right. Yeah," Merton muttered, offering a strained smile. "So, what else are you guys seeing this weekend?"

After dinner, the muggles decided to talk a stroll through town before heading back to the hotel. Melissa on the other hand, with the assurance of Heathcote's job as chaperone, managed to beg off the stroll in lieu of meeting up with the other Weird Sisters at a pub (not that the Jones family knew they were going to a pub, of course.) The pub in question was thankfully not as crowded as the others. A small band was playing a slow jazz number in the corner, and the dim blue lights gave the whole building a subdued vibe. It had an effect on the patrons, with the clinking of glass and buzz of conversation being at volume level with the music on stage. There was a smattering of change at another corner, where a small group of young men were laughing amongst themselves.

"Hey, over here!" One of the men (Myron, she recognized) waved them over. They meandered over, and Melissa found herself curious over the number of people at the table. Myron, Kirley, and Gideon she recognized easily enough. Yet there was a fourth man, a black man about their age, that was only faintly familiar. Must be an old schoolmate, she guessed. When they reached the table, Myron gestured over to them. "This is the rest of our band I've told you about. Heath, our other guitarist; Orsino, our drummer; Herman's our lutist; Merton's our cellist; and little Mel's our honorary member. Everyone, this is Dave."

Their group greeted the fourth man. Dave muttered a hello back, but he mostly stared at the group in amused confusion. "Okay, the bagpipes I get cuz this is Scotland, but I can't believe you guys have a lute. You've really got a whole medieval vibe goin' on, don't you?"

Wait, hold up-

Herman grinned. "More like we're bringing the old ways to today. Your accent, though, are you American?"

I know that voice!

"Yeah. It's my first time performing here."

"Performing? What do you play?"

Are you FUCKING kidding me?!

"Hey, Melissa, are you alright?" Merton said quietly to her.

She didn't answer right away. Instead, she listened to Dave's answer, confirming her suspicions. "Um… yeah. Just…"

Merton followed her stare, then turned back to her with wide eyes. "Are you getting a visi-?!"

She flapped a hand in his face, still staring at the American. "-Yes, yes, shut up! I need to see this." Both snapped their mouths shut as Melissa watched the conversation continue; her mind absolutely reeling over Wait, we're almost the same age? Along with What are the fucking chances of this happening?!

Eventually, a couple of the others noticed their silence. Gideon was the first, asking, "What's up with her?"

That caught the others' attention. Myron repeated the older question, "You alright, Mel?"

Melissa answered with a strained smile, "Life's been way too surreal lately. Just hit me now how weird it is."

"Well, we are masters of the Weird," Kirley replied, "and after everything that's happened, you definitely need a drink!"

That declaration segued into a few drained pints around the table. The group joked and teased each other, plus questions to and from the non band-members at the table. The drink and good conversation helped things loosen up, especially for Melissa. She mostly kept to her side of the table, which is how she eventually noticed the way Herman and Heathcote hung off each other.

"Wait, when did you two get together?"

Heathcote narrowed his eyes, while Herman grinned languidly.

"You didn't know-?"

"None of your damn business!"

The simultaneous answers surprised both men. "What? She should have noticed by now."

"No, no one's supposed to know!" Heathcote hissed. "If people find out-"

"You're being dramatic," Herman rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're doing anything. We're just sitting and minding our own business."

"Right, which is what you should do," Heathcote directed that last part at Melissa.

Not that his tone phased her. "Hey, I got nothing against it. I just didn't know."

"Well un-know it! You're not saying a damn word about it, alright?!"

"Geez, what's got your knickers in a twist?" Melissa slurred. "It's not like being in a relationship is a big deal-oof!"

Heathcote grabbed her by the collar and pulled her in with a growl. "We could go to Azkaban for this, Bennett! And, unlike some people we can't bullshit our way to a light sentence so shut up!"

And she should have. She should have paid attention to the fear beneath the anger, and risks of it all. And yet, there were seven words spoken that she absolutely could not ignore. "Excuse you? The hell are you trying to say?"

"What, you think I'm dumb?" He scoffed. "All that stuff you told Merton is a bunch of shite. You-Know-Who, maybe I can believe that. But you, a seer? Come off it, Giggles, you're just making shit up to cover up what happened with Avery and the rest. You snapped. It happened. And you got off with practically nothing."

Got off with- WHAT?!

"FUCK! YOU!"

Herman finally tried to step in. "Hey, hey, everybody just calm d-"

"You think I'm making this up?! That everything I went through was nothing?!"

"Guys-"

"Yeah, I do. I remember the way you laughed off people for taking divination. You're a fucking fake and a coward."

"Oh, I'm a fake, am I?"

"Yeah. You are!"

"Alright then!" Her chair toppled as she pushed off the table. "I'll show you a fucking fake!"

One voice muttered, "Uh, mate, what just happened?" but she ignored it. Brain spinning, her eyes swept across the pub and zeroed in on the stage. …A stage now emptying as the jazz band took their leave. Perfect!

She stepped onto the stage and turned on the microphone. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE!"

Now looking down from the stage, the audience somewhat hushed. The table at the other corner was now fighting between whether to stand or sit.

"How's everybody doing tonight? Y'all having a good time?!" A few cheers rang out. "Great to hear it! Well, folks, I've got a special treat for you. No, this isn't part of the Fringe Festival but it sure is gonna be fringe as hell!" A smattering of laughs went through the crowd. Bolstered, she pulled the microphone out of the stand and started prowling on the stage. "I'm gonna do a bit of a magic act for you folks. Though not the wand-waving kind, don't you worry. I've got no wand and no magic hat to pull a rabbit out of.

"What I do have is a brain with a very unique gift. For you see, I… can see into the future!" She paused for a moment. "I sense your doubt. No worries, that cunt over there just said the same thing, but I am here tonight to prove this foreknowledge! But I can't do it alone. No, sir, I'm going to need some assistance. So I would like to ask that my newfound American acquaintance come up on stage with me."

The fighting got a little wilder, with a couple of the Weird Sisters wanting to get her off the stage. Luckily the others held them back. Dave, meanwhile, looked incredibly uncomfortable and confused.

"Now, now, don't be shy!" She looked around the crowd. "Everybody, let's give him some encouragement. Give it up for Dave Chappelle!"

The crowd cheered. Dave, still confused, slowly made his way on stage. Once he did, Melissa handed him another mic. "Welcome aboard, Dave. Now, Dave, you can attest that until an hour ago, we've never met, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And my friends told you what my life's been like the past few months, right?"

"Yeah. You've been in a coma, right?"

"Right. I only woke up, like, ten days ago. -Wow, it's already been ten days." She shook away the creeping thoughts. "So, essentially, I've had no access to media, television, nothing, for ages. Also, before I continue, I just want you all to know that Dave here isn't just visiting. He's going to be performing comedy at the festival, and you should go see it. Really, Dave Chapelle is going to be famous. Like, 'one of the Best of All Time' level famous when he's older."

Dave smiled at that. "Thank you. That's sweet."

She waved it off. "That's not a compliment. It's just the future. So yeah, you should go see him now while the tickets are still cheap, and before he cocks things up." She clapped her hands once to change things over. "Anyways, Dave, have you done any movies yet?"

"Yeah. My first movie came out last month."

"Sweet! In the UK or just in America?"

"Just America. I don't think it'll be out here until Christmas."

"Alright, alright, and is that movie called Robin Hood: Men In Tights?"

"Yep."

"Perfect, because I have no idea what Half-Baked is like." Not that he would know either, yet. "And have any of you seen this movie, yet?" A chorus of No's answered her. "Great, neither have I! So, for your entertainment- and this man's confusion- I would like to tell you about the upcoming film Robin Hood: Men In Tights! Starring Cary Elwes because, unlike some Robin Hoods, he can speak with a British accent."

The audience laughed at that. Dave, she noted, grew wide-eyed with familiarity. "And Dave, of course, is the Black friend. No, not Azeem; or, Asneeze, as he's called in the movie. No, instead he plays his son, Achoo. Right, Dave?"

"Yeah, but you could have just seen that in the trailer."

"Could have, but I haven't seen the trailer. I don't even know what's on it. Anyways, back to the movie!"

"We have to get her off stage!" Herman hissed, struggling in Heath's arms.

"-although ladies, I'm sure we can all agree that taking a jackhammer to the Everlast would make all sorts of lovely vibrations!"

To his side, Myron laughed. "Are you joking? This is amazing! Look at Dave's face! She really knows what she's talking about!"

"-he agrees to marry the witch, Latrina- which isn't her real name, but it's way better than being called Shithouse!"

"I still think she's mucking around," Heath scoffed.

"-What about the songs, you ask? The songs! The songs!" She genuinely broke out into song. "The Night is Young and You Are So Beautiful!" She suddenly swung the mic stand, tilting it at hip level. "Audience, don't be afraid of the giant cock. It is just my swORD!"

At this point even Dave started laughing. "Man, you really know the movie! Come on, you must have seen it already."

"Nope! I've been living in nightmares for the past few months," she grinned, then slammed a palm to her forehead. "Oh, but of course- we're not here for laughs! This act of precognition is to convince the audience- and convince you, Dave Chapelle! A man who in the future is going to go up on stage and tell the world how he would like to have his balls botoxed so that they can be smooth as eggs!"

The crowd roared in laughter; but Dave's smile dropped. "What?"

"You heard me. Smooth as eggs," Giggles grinned. "So that one day you can walk up to a girl and say-"

"-Do you suck balls?" Dave cut in.

"And when she goes Excuse me you'd reply-"

"Would you suck on these balls?"

Giggles posed flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes. "And she'll look at that beautifully botoxed sack and say Yes, I'll suck those balls!"

A few men in the crowd wolf-whistled, and others laughed. Dave wasn't laughing, though. The American's jaw dropped. "How- how do you know that joke?!"

The girl kept grinning. "I'm surprised you know it already."

"Know it? I haven't even finished writing it!"

The crowd got quiet.

Herman felt Heath's arms go slack.

"How the hell-?!"

"Like I said, I can see the future. Anyway, I was going to segue to one of your songs in the movie. After all, it takes a real man to wear tights! " She winked. "Care to give the audience a demonstration with me? I'm still a bit weak in the legs, but I'm sure I can handle most of the choreography."

"Nah!" Dave scoffed. His hands waved up in surrender. "This is way too fuckin' weird. I don't know how- I might actually believe you. So I'm out. I don't think I can handle this."

"Handle seeing full proof?" She gave a predatory grin as he started to walk off stage. "Come on, Dave, have some fun with it! We only got three decades to enjoy some laughs together."

The American turned back, speaking almost fearfully. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Giggles gave a playful grimace. "Let's just say that in three decades time you and Eddie Izzard are going to take massively opposing stances on a subject, and you're gonna come out a right cunt about it." She burst out in manic laughter. "One might even call it a 'turf' war! Get it?!"

Herman twisted out of his boyfriend's arms. "Okay, now, can we take her off stage?"

"Yeah…" Myron sighed. "Yeah, we should probably get her out of here."

It took some finagling, but in the end they had to literally haul her off stage. Giggles barely seemed to care as it happened, too busy singing at the top of her lungs the whole way out. When they left, and the song finally finished, she burst out laughing. "That was hilarious! Guys! Guys! Did you see that? I was on stage with Dave Chappelle!"

"We noticed," Duke deadpanned.

"Wasn't that amazing?! I had no idea that could happen! I wonder who else is here-"

"Kid, you're drunk off your tits."

"My tits are sober, thank you very much! -Do you think you could hex tits into having mouths? That'd be weird!"

Herman rolled his eyes as she twittered on to Duke. "Should have known drinks would be a bad idea." He side-eyed his boyfriend. "Are you happy now?"

Heath flinched. "How was I supposed to know that she'd go up and do that?"

"You didn't have to, but you did imply that she got what was coming to her."

"And called her a fake," Gideon added. "Not very 'Heroic' of you."

Heath groaned loudly, fingers pulling at his face. "Ugh! Fine! Hey, Giggles," there was a pause as the drunk teen stopped chattering and looked over at him, plus another as Herman gave an expectant look, "I'm… sorry… about what I said earlier, about Avery and Azkaban."

"Huh? Oh. So, you believe me now?"

He tsked. "I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Not if you want to live in denial," Orsino added. The others gave a small snicker at that.

"Well then," she paused dramatically, "I forgive you. And I'm sorry for teasing you and Herman. You two are very sweet together."

Heath looked genuinely surprised by the apology, offering a dumbfounded "Thanks" in return.

"If it's any consolation…" Her eyes rolled back in thought, making her staggering worse. "I dunno about the magic side of things, but when it comes to the muggle side… give it, like, twenty years. It's a long wait; but they'll come around to it."

"Come around to what?"

"You know, people. Together. You two."

The group looked between Herman, Heath, and Giggles in amazement. The former two especially as their eyes shone with comprehension. "You sure?"

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "Doesn't look like it, now, but times are changing. Always changing…" Her voice drifted, followed by a stumble and giggles as Duke and Myron got her back on her feet. "I get to see everything twice. It's so cool! And I can talk about it! I can talk about it, right?"

"Right," Myron answered. "Though maybe not about couples, okay, kid?"

"Okay!" She chirped.

They reached the hotel a short while later. For everyone's sake, Orsino tapped a sleep charm on Giggles so that the muggles wouldn't find out what happened after they split off. Then, as they all were about to say their goodbyes, Myron gathered the group close. "New rule, gents. If anyone asks about Mel, the Weird Sisters have her back. Got it?"

They nodded, the decision unanimous. After all, it's not the first time one of their own is at risk from backward-minded wizards. And when it comes down to it, Weird Sisters always stick together!

A/C: My feral child just got out of Azkaban. She is Not Well.