Disclaimer: Don't own jack.

Shinobi's Bizarre Adventure

Chapter 1: Shinigami's cure for boredom

"Uhhhhhhhh," Naruto groaned as he did what seemed to be the thousandth job of the day. Seriously, how could I have known that this job would suck so much, he thought in between his yawns.

In the midst of the blond Hokage taking another sip of coffee, Shikamaru barged through the door like thunder. "What now?" Naruto said with an expression that signaled he was on the brink of going insane.

Oddly enough, his advisor looked incredibly concerned with a look that seemed to go right through Naruto. "Someone wanted to meet you... Yet, once we questioned him a bit, he wouldn't give his name or where he was from," he looked down at the floor, "... and he has an... odd aura surrounding him," Shikamaru informed the Seventh.

Naruto pondered for just a bit, then shrugged his shoulders, not really caring whether that man was dangerous or not. The legendary Hokage had seen more than enough and certainly wouldn't be defeated by some odd fellow.

"Let him in," Naruto said boredly, and Shikamaru nodded, going to bring the man himself. Maybe something exciting would happen out of it, the blond mused.

In a matter of a couple of minutes, a figure came through the door, alone, without any supervision. "Where's Shikamaru?" Naruto asked with visible confusion.

"He won't be needed here," the two-meter giant with a black cloak and a face that Naruto couldn't see because the hood made it seem invisibly dark.

Before Naruto could lash out or do something, the man pulled his hand out of his pockets and showed that it had no skin, only bones were visible. "I'm the Shinigami," it stated quietly, and noting Naruto's shocked face continued, "I didn't come here to claim lives. Instead, the matter is a lot more... delicate."

The Shinigami then sat down and pulled out the hood, revealing his skinless face with only a skull visible. "Where do I even start?" it mused and placed its deadly hands on its chin. "Well, that would be a good place to begin," it, once again, said to itself aloud with a tone that almost sounded sarcastic.

"I came here to make a suggestion, which, I believe, would be great for both of us," he began and saw Naruto's intense eyes ease a bit. "I'd like you to go to a different world!" he stated loudly.

"W-what?" Naruto asked, now completely perplexed by the situation.

The Shinigami thought for a long second. "Even us, dark overlords have our own lives. Some time ago, I lost a bet against God who placed his bet on the two brothers winning the multiple-year-long fight and all, so I have been in his debt for quite some time. So, he finally found something he wanted me to do," the Shinigami explained.

Naruto's eyebrow was comically raised, hardly believing a thing, but the man's presence and almost an infinite amount of chakra put a lot of weight on his words. "The world is in a completely different dimension," Shinigami stated before pulling out a contract. "If you sign here, you'll be teleported there and replace the man who failed to save that place."

"So, you expect me to fix your stuff? Why should I agree to this?" Naruto asked, folding his arms together. To his surprise, the Shinigami smirked. Naruto couldn't even believe a skull could smirk, let alone so far.

"I didn't put my words the right way. The man at the top asked me to fix that dimension because the guy who was supposed to save it failed completely since he hit his head or something. I chose you because, firstly, you are capable of fixing that timeline and two," he then grinned widely and squinted his eyes, "You are tired of this life."

Naruto's face turned into a shocked expression, which slowly diminished, knowing full well that that's the truth. The Seventh Hokage was sick and tired of this boring crap. His dream, while exciting in the first few months, got repetitive real quick. "What's the world like?" Naruto now asked.

"Oh, so you are interested? The world is massive and advanced, there are ships that could travel through space, so I doubt you'll ever be as bored as here," Shinigami explained and upon seeing a small smile twisting on the young man, compared to him, he continued, "There will be a couple of differences to your body, but nothing too drastic," he said things that were written on the contract. Naruto wasn't that stupid not to read it, so it's better to not lie and instead, confront it as early as possible.

"It's nothing too drastic, though. You'll have a new body and some other minor changes," Shinigami said and gave Naruto a pen to sign the contract. He was a bit underselling it here, but he wasn't lying.

Holding the pen with a skull-shaped symbol on the top of it, it was very tempting to just write it now for Naruto. Before that, he realized that there might be some big problems with it all. "So, I will never be able to come back here? Even if I hate myself sitting here, I still love my children and friends," the blond said with worry.

"Oh, there is a way; you'll just have to find it yourself. Once you feel like the universe's safety is in control, you'll know what to do. However, if you fail to assure the safety of it, I'll make sure you won't come back," Shinigami stated with a clearly threatening tone.

"I see. Can't you say who I have to defeat, and just how many? How will I even know if I secured it all?" Naruto asked.

"Don't worry about that too much since the time here won't move until you're back, failed, or won. Troubles will come and go to you, since you'll be the same person that was the youngling that failed. If you fail, I'll just find someone else to do it and they'll go into the past like you will be doing. Obviously, it isn't a big issue for me, but for you... so it's your job to find it all out."

Being the most powerful shinobi in history made Naruto very confident in his abilities. Maybe a bit too much. So, with a short signature on the paper, the blond signed a pact that would forever change both himself and the other dimension.

"W-wha—" Naruto didn't manage to say thanks or anything coherent before everything faded to black, and as quickly as it faded, a bright light appeared.

XxX

"What's that thing flying there?" an old man with a white mustache mused as he was walking in the tall mountains, scavenging for food.

The object quickly made an impact with the ground, causing the earth to shake just a tiny bit. The old man couldn't help but go there to check it out.

In a short notice, he covered the distance and found a white ball-like object crashed in the middle of the forest. It had purple windows that looked almost unbreakably powerful and durable. The door opened, revealing a boy with long, spiky black hair. His hair was so bizarre that the old man thought it might be a wig of some sort.

"How did you get here?" he asked gently as he picked up the child and noticed a long monkey tail hanging down. Huh?

"What a weird-looking kid," he remarked and glanced around. The child appeared very calm but had a completely confused expression on his face. While he looked very young, his gestures suggested otherwise.

He raised the child to the sun and asked, "How about I call you Goku?" he suggested, but the baby vigorously shook his head.

"How about... Bardock?" The baby still shook his head. "Oh well, I'll think of something later," the old man thought.

With no sign of parents or anyone else around, the old man placed the child in a basket he had on his back. "Don't worry, kiddo, I'll get you to safety," he tried to reassure the child, even though he seemed as calm as a baby could be.

Well, probably because he wasn't mentally a baby. He was, and at the same time, wasn't. It was very difficult to think, let alone say anything coherent at this age for him. Even basic things like breathing and eating were basically new to Naruto in the house that the old man took him to.

As time slowly passed, Naruto couldn't lie to himself — he became attached to the old man. Even with a mission in mind, Naruto got distracted by the love of a father-like figure, and he sort of... delayed it all as long as he could. Fishing, picking mushrooms, and other activities that Naruto never had as a kid took most of his time and brought so much joy to his heart. Minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into months, and months into years. It all blended together very swiftly. Until his grandfather went missing.

XxX

"As clean as one could be!" Naruto exclaimed as he finished polishing the fourth star dragon ball. "Isn't it beautiful, grandpa?" he asked and stared at the mesmerizing ball.

The adult man in a boy's body stepped out of the house to acknowledge the beautiful view of the mountains. It was a sight to behold every morning, with various animals flying or crawling on the ground. It was a thousand miles from any civilization, but that was one of the reasons why Naruto loved it so much.

Every day, every night, he delayed the plan to stop whatever the Shinigami asked him to stop, hoping that his words of trouble coming to him would come true and he wouldn't have to move a muscle before.

"What I wouldn't do for it all to stay this way," he mused. But then, quickly turned upon grimacing at the sound of… he wasn't all too sure. Naruto never ventured anywhere outside of the mountains, since this was the place where he felt he truly belonged.

"Where the hell is it?" Bulma thought aloud, grimacing at her device, which she started to shake out of frustration. While she was busy taking out her anger, she didn't notice a small boy.

"Another human?" Naruto thought, staring at the approaching vehicle, which headed right in his direction. As the metal vehicle was one meter away from him, he delivered a punch that brought it to a stop, while the girl flew into the air and bumped into a tree.

"M-monster?!" she screamed upon seeing the kid with a tail that threw the car away from his hand. Without giving it too much thought, the girl started blasting from her pistol, though each bullet was caught by Naruto so fast that she could barely see it.

"What do you want here?" Naruto said, and noticed that he had made a weird mistake. Being in the wild alone for such a period can do it to a person.

The girl let out a loud gulp and said, "I-I'm just searching for something," and she showed the boy the dragon ball radar. "Hmmm, it should be right here?"

"Do you have anything over there?" she said upon walking and getting closer to the small hut.

"Just my grandpa's gift," he answered honestly.

"AH!" she let out a genuine scream at the sight. It was the fourth-star dragon ball, and she sure as hell would be taking it. Glancing at the kid who seemed very unhappy at the girl staring at the orange ball, the girl conspired a plan.

"The name is Bulma!" she said and smirked.

"Naruto," he simply replied with just slight curiosity as the girl's face was getting distorted with her smile that made her look far less human than Naruto.

"How about I show you something for the dragon ball?" the girl said and took and raised her skirt just a bit. Yet, her smirk quickly turned into a grimace as she saw Naruto sighing to the ground.

"It would be pretty funny if I showed her that," Naruto said quietly to himself, making his face look almost comedically weird. "Oiroke no Jutsu(Sexy technique)!" he said aloud, and a curvaceous girl surrounded by smoke in the most intricate places appeared. She was wearing nothing at all and had very spiky black hair that went up to her hips.

"W-what the—?" Bulma screamed and placed her hand on the white museum-like exhibition, and Naruto's dragon ball fell to the ground.

"Now you've done it!" Naruto screamed and jumped, still with the female body, at Bulma and pushed her to the wall. "Don't ever touch it again!" he warned and cleaned the dust with his hands.

"O-ok, you… monster. Do you even know what these balls do? They can grant any wish you want once you gather them all!" Bulma grimaced as she stood up, holding her hands on her head, which she felt as if it was broken to pieces.

"Oh. Really?" he said with his own smirk, thinking of a plan. "Could I… even revive a person… or ask to get to another planet or timeline?"

"Probably. So how about you give me this Dragon ball, and we share the wish?" she said, thinking this could work.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I'm sure not giving it to you!"

"Whatever!" she said loudly, raising her head to the air, almost as if she was offended by his decline. "I'll go and find the other dragon balls. I should think of a plan on how to get that kid away from it until then," she mused to herself and got out of the small building.

I guess that's what the Shinigami was talking about… with them, I can go home, Naruto thought to himself aloud as he looked at the shining ball. Still, I have to fix the timeline or whatever, he thought with a grimace. As he was laying the options on the table, he heard a loud scream outside, quite clearly belonging to the same person. With a fast sprint outside, Naruto saw a giant blue dragon holding the green-haired girl with his massive claws.

"Hahahaha!" the giant beast laughed evilly and flew into the air, screaming and shouting something about talking dragons.

"She was kinda rude," Naruto said with a yawn. Might as well try something I haven't done in ages, he thought to himself and formed hand seals to produce a tornado out of nowhere. The same tornado rose and rose until it reached the beast and the girl, making them both spin many times in unison.

"What—the—hell—is—wrong—with—this—place!" the blue-haired girl screamed in between each spin. It wasn't a good day for her, to say the least.

"Haven't tried this one too in ages!" Naruto shouted and swiftly jumped towards the beast spinning in the tornado, hitting it right in the stomach, which made it spin in the opposite direction. The girl began to spin too, but Naruto quickly grabbed her hand and fell to the ground, placing the girl on his hands.

"W-what was that?" she asked with a terrified face.

"Don't worry too much. How about we go and get these dragon balls?" he now suggested himself with a smile. This must be the start where I must start to move, he thought to himself as the girl placed a weird capsule, out of which a white motorcycle came.

"Hmmm, I guess I'm not the only one here that can do seals," Naruto mused as he walked around the thing.

"What?" the girl asked, now getting slightly frustrated at the weirdness of the kid. "Anyway, let's move! We can't waste time, since my genius wish can't wait any longer!" She announced enthusiastically.

"Same for me," Naruto said. "Guess I'll see what this world has to offer!"

I actually wrote this chapter about 2 months ago. Literally just forgot to post it.