Priceless

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Chapter 1: Skype Sex

Noah Puckerman is naked, jerking off as he watches Kurt Anderson fuck himself with a dildo while on a Skype call with him. Noah and Kurt never touched each other, but they have had phone sex since COVID-19 hit. Neither of them thought it was cheating because Blaine and Kurt divorced after Kurt caught Blaine with Sebastian Smythe, and Noah dumped Quinn before COVID-19 hit. Noah wouldn't consider himself gay since he wasn't touching Kurt.

But this day was different. Today, they were roommates after Noah had moved in to help Kurt with his daughter Tracy. After the Skype call, Noah heads to Kurt's room, still naked, and smirks when Kurt opens the door before he gets there. Noah picks Kurt up and removes his boxers as he says, "Enough with the phone sex. I want to be inside you for real. If that makes me gay, I don't care anymore." He soon lowers Kurt onto his penis and heads into the bedroom, kissing Kurt's neck.

Before long, Noah lays Kurt on the bed, then moves in and out of him. They stare at each other with desire as Noah pins Kurt to the bed and moves faster. Soon, Kurt's body feels like jelly, and he moans in pleasure. As Noah comes into Kurt's ass, he says, "Priceless. Sorry, I was a dick in high school. By the way, that silicone mold of my dick is for making ice cocks."

Kurt states, "I've made three already. We both might need a couple if I get to fuck you into this mattress." Noah then smirks and pulls out of Kurt before kissing the tip of his penis. He then lies down and puts his legs over his head.

Kurt soon gets some lube and a condom from his nightstand. Kurt then lubes up Noah's ass with two fingers while kissing him. When Noah is ready, Kurt puts on the condom and slowly moves in and out of him. Soon, Noah bit his lip to keep quiet so he wouldn't wake Tracy. They begin to pant as Kurt moves in and out of Noah faster. As Kurt comes into Noah's ass, the men say, "I love you!" Before Kurt collapses onto Noah.

Noah caresses Kurt's cheek and says, "I stopped watching porn six months into this because watching you fuck yourself turned me on even more, and I have wanted to fuck you ever since." Noah soon has Kurt take a picture of him while he is still inside Kurt's ass. Noah then has Kurt move before returning to his room, and he brings his things to Kurt's.

They soon hear Tracy crying, and Noah puts on his boxers and sweatpants before heading to Tracy's room. Before long, Kurt hears Noah singing along to My Little Girl by Tim McGraw on Tracy's baby monitor. As the song ends, Noah says, "Papa's here, Little Princess. I love you, Tracy."

Minutes later, Noah returns with Tracy and lies next to Kurt. He lies on the other side of Tracy and tells Kurt, "I love you both, Kurt. I might have stayed for Tracy, but I brought my things here to show you I want this. Kurt, it took Rachel six months to move on, and we've Skyped naked without having sex more than once since I moved in. He then takes Kurt's hand into his and kisses it. Then he wraps his arms around Tracy and Kurt before the men fall asleep, looking at Tracy.

When Noah woke up, Kurt was not there, but Tracy was. Tracy was still asleep; Noah just watched her sleep as he brushed her hair out of her face. When Tracy wakes up, she caresses Noah's cheek, and says, "Good morning, Papa Nono."

Noah tosses Tracy into the air and says, "Good morning, little princess." Then Noah tickles her until they see Kurt standing in the doorway.

Kurt sat beside Noah on the bed, and said, "I visited my mom's grave today. Noah, I fell for you last night when you sang to Tracy. Until you did that, I thought we would be friends with benefits. Noah, I am glad you moved in after the divorce, and I can't wait for you to come out."

Noah grabs his phone and posts, "Quinn Fabray, you better have that check to Burt Hummel ready. Because I'm gay and in love with Kurt. Mom, no jokes. Rachel and Santana, that goes for you, too. You all know I'm worse than Burt already."

Burt comments, "Puck, I'm glad you work at Mick's now. By the way, Quinn paid me after their divorce. It was right after you ran everybody out for making Kurt upset by talking about Finn. Carole and I will be there in a couple of days. Norah is talking to Carole and thinks you are Kurt's dream man. Well, I got to go before Carole breaks my phone."

Noah replies, "I'm glad you are moving back to Lima and that you will be working with me. You still want me to teach you how to play paintball?"

Noah notices that Kurt, Carole, and Norah don't like his comment. Then Quinn comments, "Carole, Norah, and Kurt, stop worrying. If you keep worrying, you'll have a heart attack. By the way, like Burt said, I paid Burt after Kurt announced his divorce. Rachel and Santana. Tracy has been begging me to be their surrogate since then. Puck, I have been playing paintball since COVID-19 hit. You have fifteen minutes to get dressed and get your ass over to Crosshairs." Then she attaches a picture of herself dressed like Geena Davis in Long Kiss Good Night and holding a paintball gun. Noah soon hurriedly got dressed and rushed out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, Santana calls Kurt on Zoom, and Kurt hears Noah screaming, "Fuck, Quinn! What the hell? Are you not even going to let me put my gear on? My leg still stings from that first hit." Then Santana chuckles as Quinn continues to pelt him with paintballs.

Then Quinn says, "Where's the fun in that? I remember Finn complaining about how you would do that to him every other weekend when we dated in high school. I'm sure everyone on Zoom with Santana is getting a kick out of this."

Santana says with a chuckle, "I know I am. I bet Kurt wishes he thought of this first."

Kurt replies, "Not really, Santana. I'm just glad that's not me getting attacked by Quinn."

Quinn soon hits Noah in the back, causing him to fall. Then Tracy says, "Yay, Mama Queenie wins! Papa Nono, you and G' Pa Burt better not make my future boyfriend pass a pee-pee test."

Quinn hits Noah in the butt as Santana says, "Tracy, Queenie will get a chance to attack Grandpa Burt and Daddy Puck after Grandpa Burt moves back to Lima."

Kurt chuckles as Noah yells, "Like hell, she will! I mean, not if she wants to see Rachel carry another baby for us!"

Then Tracy yells, "Queenie, my birthday is at noon! You against Papa Nono, Dada Kurt, and Grandpa Burt!"

Quinn hits Noah again as she says, "Deal! I bet everyone will love to watch me kick their butts at paintball wars."

Then Kurt and Noah say, "You're on, Quinn!" before Santana ends the call.

On Tracy's birthday, a week later. Quinn, Burt, Noah, and Kurt were chasing Blaine around Crosshairs. Soon, it was down to Blaine and Noah, who had already lost a battle with Quinn before Blaine arrived. Blaine soon found himself hiding behind hay before Noah found him and used the last of his ammo on him.

Blaine leaves after this, and then Noah challenges Quinn to a rematch. Soon, Quinn sings along with "The Warrior" by Scandal as it plays on the P.A. system while she pelts Noah with paintballs. Once again, Quinn wins the battle, and Tracy squeals, "Mama Queenie, you rock!"

After the party, Tracy spent the night over at Burt's house. While Noah and Kurt snuggled on the couch together under a blanket, naked. Then Noah said, "After COVID-19 hit, Quinn found me in bed with Karofsky. That Smythe guy had just dumped him, and he wanted someone to rebound with. All I did was suck him off because that was all I had the guts to do. You taste better than him, and to be honest, I never watched porn during our Skype calls. I wanted to tell you that when I moved in here, but I never thought you would believe me."

Kurt said, "Noah, Quinn told me when she arrived at Crosshairs today. Sebastian has been cheating on Karofsky with Blaine since Tracy was conceived. We separated before Rachel won her first Tony award, but I didn't tell Rachel until after Tracy was born."

Noah kisses Kurt's neck as he says, "I found that list you made about your dream guy before I sucked Karofsky, Kurt. I did that because I was curious why you and he were into dick. I dumped Quinn because I liked it, and I got a job at Mick's because your dad dared me to after I showed him my gun closet. By the way, I was the one disabling your car in high school."

Kurt grabs Noah's penis as he says, "I know, Noah, and I don't care what Tracy says. You better be on the front porch with your paintball gun and a super soaker full of pee when she is thirteen."

Noah kisses Kurt's neck as he says, "Yes, Princess."

Chapter 2 will be up soon. I know, it's short. You can write your way and I'll write mine.