Chapter#1: Realization

He's gone, He's really gone!

That's the one thought that kept running through my mind. Flashing back to three months ago, right after Ed…. He left me in the woods. I couldn't accept it before, but recently I had been coming to terms with my tragic reality. Sitting, staring blankly out my bedroom window. I felt unmoving for months like I had become an object collecting dust in my room. A stray tear fell from my eye as my vision came into focus peering into the drive where Edwards car used to pick me up for school every day. "Did you ever really love me?" I choked out with a sob to myself.

Hearing a knock on the door I ignored it quickly wiping the tears from my face, feeling pathetic. The door creaked open slowly as I heard Charlies work boots Shuffle towards my chair. "Bella?!" My father questioned wearily. "Yea dad?" I asked my voice breaking from not using it much anymore. I never spoke anymore I couldn't get over this stupid depression. Sitting across from me on my trunk by the window he placed a comforting hand on my knee "Are you okay honey?" he asked.

Should I tell him the truth?

Will he send me away?

The tears began streaming down my face beyond my control, as I looked at him deciding to be honest. "He's really gone isn't he?" I asked with a sob. "oh Bells" he cried dropping to his knees in front of me wrapping his arms tightly around me. It was comforting, I lay my head on his shoulder letting the tears flow. These weren't the arms I so desperately longed for. "He's not coming back is he?" I asked, knowing the answer already but praying to whatever God would listen, that he would be coming back for me, that he had truly loved me and couldn't just forget about me so easily as if I was just a distraction, some play thing to pass the unlimited time he had in his eternity.

Charlie pulled back to look at me with so much sadness in his eyes it made me want to comfort him. "No bells he's not coming back" he stated solemnly. I just cried harder dropping my head onto his shoulder, beginning to rock back and forth in his arms. "Just let it out hun" my dad whispered stroking my hair. He usually wasn't one for showing emotion but in this moment he was being the father I so desperately needed him to be. Because I was to broken to do it on my own. These past few months I had been so numb, staring blankly out my window never truly seeing anything. I only cried in my sleep, when I would dream of that fateful day when half my heart destroyed the other half leaving me empty a jagged shell of what I used to be. Laying my head on his shoulder I let his work jacket soak up my tears, the tears of the unwanted. "Shh! Its ok baby girl let it out" my dad soothed me once again pulling me fully into his lap rocking me and stroking my hair as if I was once again a small child and he would protect me from this cruel world.

It seemed like hours later when my eyes had run dry, red and puffy I had began to dose off as my body hiccupped through the last of my sobs. I didn't even realize it until I felt him lift me and walk me over to my bed. Keeping my eyes closed, I didn't want to see the pain I was causing him. Gently he lay me down pulling my quilt off the rocking chair and covering me up. I heard Him walk back to the chair by the window. I squinted my eyes to peak at my fathers shadowed form, shoulders slumped in defeat, head in his hands. He released a sigh. It sounded as if I wasn't the only one broken. "Why God?" he whispered, my dad was never the praying type so it took me off guard causing me to open my eyes a bit more and watch him as he had his back turned to me there really wasn't a risk of him seeing me unless he turned around in which I would have plenty of time to close them. "I just don't get it? Why bring my baby girl back to me just to have her broken? I Don't get it! Don't let her suffer like I did Lord. When Renee took off and took bells it took everything from me. I remember feeling how she looks right now God. Don't let her suffer Lord, give it to me not her. Whatever your plan God don't make my child suffer, make me instead" he sounded depressed and angry as he reminissed back to his days with my mother. I could hear the love he had for me and it touched my heart.

I had tried so hard to hide my pain, yet it never helped. He always knew, he was never fooled by my fascade. As my dad stood I shut my eyes quickly. Hearing his feet shuffle over to me leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to my forehead "Goodnight bells" he said sadly as he left and closed the door gently behind him. He had gotten his prayer, because he was suffering. He was suffering because I was.

Alice pov:

"What the fuck Rose?!" I heard Emmett yell from upstairs. They were fighting again. Ever since we had left, her, everyone had been in pure agony. Leaving Bella was the worst decision my stupid brother had ever made. And we were all dumb enough to follow along with it after he convinced us that 'its what's best for Bella, so she can be happy'.

"I miss you so much Bella" I sobbed softly to myself. I missed my best friend and sister in so many ways and I was beyond tempted to look for her future. To hell with Eddiekins and is bs reasons for abandoning her. "Me to" I heard Emmett respond, which was then followed by what sounded like a thunder clap. Rosalie had slapped him across the face once more. She had been doing that a lot lately. "Damn it Rosalie Lilian Hale!" Emmett screamed at her his voice thunderous louder than the slap itself causing birds perched in the trees nearby to scatter. "Better go break it up…. Again" Jasper sighed miserably as we heard the tell signs of breaking glass, knowing if Jazz didn't stop this that we would lose half the house this time and Esme would be beyond furious. Jazz walked up the stairs at a quick human pace, he blamed himself for this all for everyone's misery and he felt it tenfold as he was not only feeling his own depression and misery but also those around him as well as the guilt he felt from the blame being projected onto him even if everyone tried to hide it we all knew we wouldn't have had to left had it not been for Jazz losing control. It wasn't his fault, he not only struggled most with our diet, but he also had the thirst of 7 hungry vampires pushed onto him intensifying his own to the breaking point. I wish this would all just end. We needed Bella as much as a human needed air to survive because slowly after leaving her our family was falling apart one by one. We were dying without her.

So, this is a rewrite from a previous story I had written over 10 years ago. After going through it I realized how horrible my spelling and grammar had been. I really hope to be able edit and add to the story and present it to everyone in a better light. Enjoy and like follow and comment for the next revised chapter.