Mustang tried to stay out of it. He really did.
He tried to mind his own business and let his Lieutenant handle her own matters. He tried to keep his own personal matters away from her.
But he failed.
God above he failed miserably. Though can this really be considered a true failure?
Sure, he butted into a private matter he had no place in. But looking into Riza's eyes right now, it would be impossible to say that Roy regretted his decision to stick his nose into Lieutenant Hawkeye's business. She's his partner on this mission after all, surly he has a right to interject when he see's fit?
'Quit lying to yourself. Quit lying to her. You wanted this.'
The thought surprises Roy and his grip on her wrists almost falters.
How did this out of character scenario come to be? How could he have failed so miserably at keeping his impulses contained?
Mustang replays the last few days in his head as he looks down at the frazzled blonde below him, staring back up at him with those unreadable eyes.
How did he let it escalate to this degree, and when did it start? Mustang had a handle on this, didn't he?
Didn't he?
~~~
Three Days Prior
"You two will be going to Reole in the East Area. Survey the area and return next week with a report on any suspicious activity. Namely with any Ishbalan refugees." Riza blinks in shock as the Brigadier General debriefs them on their mission details.
Why are they looking for refugees? No one has encountered an Ishbalen in years. Additionally, she hasn't been on a mission outside Central City with Mustang in a while, not since the war ended. Will they be alone? Riza lightly fidgets with the cuffs of her uniform, deciding how to ask for more details without betraying her worries.
The Colonel beats her to the punch, "Will it just be a two-man team?" He asks, his voice is level and his eyes are calm even while the Brigadier General briefly nods his head before continuing. Clearly, Roy is not as startled by the news as Riza. Ever-unfazed as usual.
"We have a safe house over there already where you will be staying, it's an abandoned refugee home. Small but isolated, no one should bother you." For the second time, Riza blinks in surprise. What is with her today? It's not like she hasn't had missions alone with Mustang before. What is she so afraid of?
Their superior continues on with his mission breakdown, oblivious to the Lieutenants internal conflict. "It's about 5 miles from town but you'll have horses with you, we'll set up a pair of them to be ready for you when you get off the train. Also, it's going to be cold so pack your scarfs." He finishes his statement with a somewhat mocking comment, not that Roy reacts of course. His eyes are just as dark and even-tempered as ever.
Though when Mustang briefly glances at Riza, she notices a slight glint of concern cross his gaze. It seems that she's not doing a very good job of concealing her discomfort.
Though, to be fair, it's rather challenging to control reactions without knowing their cause. Riza is genuinely baffled as to why she feels so stressed about this whole ordeal. "W-when are we leaving." She says hesitantly, clearing her voice to cover the anxious stutter. This isn't like her, getting blindsided like this for no apparent reason.
"Tomorrow. Early."
Of course.
Hawkeyes anxiety immediately escalates to dread. She doesn't trust her voice to not betray her if she speaks. On top of that, Riza can't even think of a proper response.
Fortunately, Mustang responds for her. "Thank you for the update, we'll start preparing." He says cooly, placing his fingertips on the small of Riza's back to gently urge her out of the room.
She can feel their cold presence even through the thick material of her uniform. Strange, considering these are the fingers of the renowned Flame Alchemist.
After she mentally gathers herself enough to salute the Brigadier General farewell, Riza makes her exit from the room front of Roy at a brisk pace until his fingertips slip from her back.
She doesn't look back at Roy even though she can feel his presence behind her as they leave the room and enter the winding hallways of their base. Riza almost makes it back to the common room where she can make up an excuse to escape elsewhere, but then feels the pressure of a hand on her right shoulder.
"Lieutenant-." The Colonel starts, even without turning, Riza can tell he is deciding what to say. "-I'll see you tomorrow. Be ready by sunrise." He says after another moment, it's not what he wanted to say. Hawkeye knows this but currently, she has bigger concerns than her curiosity.
So instead, she nods her head before giving a brisk goodbye; still not turning around as she crosses the common room in the direction of her office for a reprieve from this entire situation.
She opens the door and closes it gently before letting her back slide down its frame. Riza releases a shaky breath and allows herself to feel the full weight of her stress now that she's in solitude, hoping to pinpoint its cause.
Hawkeye has done plenty of missions with the Colonel. Many of them being just the two of them. So what's the issue, what has changed?
Oh.
The nightmares.
Hawkeye feels her back go ridged against the oak wood door as the tiny thought scratching at the back of her mind surfaces.
Recently, Riza has been plagued with nightmares every time she closes her eyes to rest. This kind of thing isn't foreign to her, every few years there will be a season of horrific nightmares where she is forced to once again come to terms with all the lives she has taken during the war and her service following after.
Being an alchemist is one thing, most of them having the ability to kill someone from afar without needing much personal involvement. Like Roy, who can collapse a building from across the street without having to witness the devastation inside.
But being a sniper means that Riza is there for every moment of it. They are alive. Then they are not. Hawkeye has to witness the exact moment this barrier is crossed through her scope. She had no choice but to witness it over and over. More than that, Riza is the cause, the instigator, the reason for their untimely demise.
For the most part, the Lieutenant is good at being a soldier and nothing more, no room for naïve thoughts or sentiment in her line of work. But every few years, the memories and suppressed feelings will resurface and plague her for weeks on end. It's been a week already and while Riza's work life has not been affected, she is mentally exhausted day in and day out.
And now Roy is going to have to see that.
Maybe she can just stay up during the mission, avoid the nightmares altogether? Risk their safety and the sanity of her mind while building their report, absolutely not. Their mission will take 3 days, 4 if she counts their time traveling home. Riza will have to sleep - In close quarters with Mustang at that.
Hawkeye sighs as she succumbs to her fate, no use worrying about it now. She knows better than to think she can suppress the nightmares.
For now, all she can do is focus on one task at a time until the mission is done. Starting with packing up her desk and preparing for their early departure tomorrow morning.
~~~
The journey to Reole was uneventful. Which is fortunate considering Riza hardly got any sleep last night. This time both because of the nightmares, and her stress over the nightmares.
Good riddance.
Riza nearly audibly groans as she takes in the the annoying irony of her situation.
If Mustang notices her discomfort, he again, makes no sign of it. His gaze is fixed in front of him as the horses trot along the deserted plain.
They took the train to the border before picking up the horses that were prepared and waiting for them. Most of their journey thus far has been in silence, save the occasional comment on their direction and landscape, or how the temperature is rapidly dropping.
It's nearly dusk when they finally make it to the safe house, if the structure can even be called a house. It has 2 rooms, the walls are made out of clay and various rocks, the floor is packed dirt, and the roof has at least 3 holes in the front room. It also doesn't help that the surrounding area is barren of any forms of life and vaguely smells of a wet rodent. Very charming place overall.
Granted, this is not the worst place Riza has had to stay the night. That's just the reality of fighting in a war. But it still doesn't help her situation. If anything, she reckons it will make things worse being in a setting so reminiscent of the horrifying memories lingering beneath the surface of her composure.
Time will tell.
Soon, in fact - Riza attempts to not remind herself of this, but it's a hopeless effort.
She sighs aloud this time, but is quick to make it seem like a reaction to the shabby location. "I thought we were done staying in these kinds of places when the war was over." Riza attempts at a joke to ease the silence. "I don't mind it." Roy responds plainly.
Hawkeye isn't sure if she should push him to elaborate, and after a moment decides not to. Talking about the war any longer won't help her, it likely will only do the opposite. It would be best to avoid the subject all together if possible. Yes, this is what she will do.
Fortunately, Mustang doesn't elongate their conversation any further. He instead dismounts his horse and leads the way into the safe house after securing the steed on one of the wooden posts lopsidedly protruding from the ground. The Lieutenant follows after him, gathering all their gear and supplies before dipping into the structure now draped in the early moonlight.
The clay walls actually did a decent job of trapping in the suns heat from earlier in the day - Excluding the room with only half a roof of course.
The back room in the house is smaller than the front, but is fully intact - Apart from the back wall which has a small hole in the wall. Plus, the room's small size helps trap in the heat.
Hawkeye tries to focus on the positives but the suppressed thoughts prevail. 'There is nowhere for you to hide while you sleep unless you want to sleep in the cold like an idiot. He's going to find out. He's going to find out and he's going to judge you for it.' Riza bites her lip as she unpacks their camping equipment and her tactical gear.
She braves a quick glance at the Colonel, he's adjusting his gloves, preparing to start a small fire in the corner. Looks like he strategically chose the corner with a chunk of clay missing in the middle as a makeshift vent. Whatever works, as long as they're warm.
His eyes catch hers as the kindling ignites and the room is illuminated in its soft glow. There's a moment where it seems he wants to say something, but clearly decides better of it.
Hawkeye isn't complaining of course, she has proven she's in no mental state to hold a conversation without betraying her dread.
Admittedly, she is still slightly hurt by his cold shoulder, but she can't blame him for this. How unfortunate that the mission had to coincide with the time Riza's nightmares returned. The ordeal may have had the potential to be enjoyable if the Lieutenant wasn't giving off a gloomy and unapproachable air.
The blonde drops her gaze, feigning intense focus on teasing their sleeping bags out of the storage fabrics encasing them. Riza bites the inside of her lip as she shakes out the wrinkles before setting up each sleeping bag atop of the blue rubber insulating mat she had placed on the dirt prior.
Hawkeye tries to place the bags with a generous amount of space between them, but the insulating mat isn't particularly large. Another foot or two of distance wouldn't make a difference anyway when it comes to her nightmares.
Riza often wakes up with her pillows on the floor and her covers kicked halfway off the bed. Her heart racing and body beaded with sweat. Yes, there's no hiding that. And Riza would rather not make herself cold for no reason.
This is going to happen. She just has to accept that.
The Lieutenant switches from biting her lip to gritting her teeth as she finishes laying out the sleeping bags. Accepting something just because it's inevitable doesn't make accepting it any easier. As a matter of fact, all it contributes is a deepening sense of dread.
The Colonel stares at her handiwork for a moment, taking in the clear gap between the sleeping bags. But again, he says nothing. Though Riza swears she notices his jaw tighten.
Is her strange behavior angering him? The thought only adds to her anxiety but she can't risk asking him about it now. Hawkeye just has to focus on getting them through this mission safely.
"Would you like to eat first, or go straight to bed? We've had a long day of travel and you look exhausted, so I don't mind turning in for the night." Mustang finally breaks the silence after another moment as he steps away from the fire to turn fully towards his Lieutenant.
"W-we can eat first. I'm not tired." The words tumble out of Hawkeye's mouth more defensively than she would like. This is made evident by the flash of disbelief and - what almost looked like hurt? in the Colonel's eyes. She quickly looks away, busying herself with grabbing their camping plates and utensils from the bag at her feet.
'Why does Mustang look hurt? No, don't think about it. It's most likely because I'm acting like an idiot without not telling him what's wrong.' Hawkeye's internal dialog continues as she fishes out the missing fork from the bottom of the storage pocket.
'Why can't I just tell him? He's going to find out anyway.' Riza grits her teeth again at the thought. No matter the inevitability of the situation, it's still feels impossible to instigate that conversation herself. She doesn't want Mustang to see her like that, to know how weak she really is.
Stalling is her only lifeline for now; it's the only thing keeping her sane amidst this silent brooding.
The Colonel doesn't press her further despite seeing that she is clearly exhausted and lying through her gritted teeth. Instead, Roy follows suit busying himself with unpacking their rations. Nothing fancy, cans of tuna, various soups and beans, dehydrated meet, and a few other things buried beneath them out of his view.
Settling with a large can of brown beans, Roy takes the small collapsible pot from Riza before pouring the beans in and unceremoniously placing it directly on the fire. Looks like one of the perks of being the Flame Alchemist is that you can misbehave with the fire and get away with it.
Roy could have easily heated up their meal himself, but instead he settles down in front of the fire on the very corner of his sleeping bag. He turns his head to Riza, silently inviting her to sit beside him. She stands silent for a moment, their plates and utensils firmly in her grip. Then she, clearly unwillingly, crosses the small room to sit beside her superior. Still leaving a generous space between them of course.
'I can't even be near him now, huh? Soldier, what the hell is wrong with you, get yourself together!' The Lieutenant scolds herself for acting so strange. It's not like any of this was Mustang's fault, why does he have to be caught in the crossfire of Riza's unstable mind state? Guilt stabs at her chest, she grips her hand together tighter.
"Are you going to tell me what's been going on with you recently." Roy says quietly after another minute of painfully awkward silence. He phrased this like a question, but his tone is flat as if merely stating a passing thought. Clearly he has no faith that Riza is actually willing to share.
And the worst part is, his suspicious are spot on. Hawkeye's walls of deflection are up before Mustang even finishes his sentence. "Nothing is going on, sir." The Lieutenant responds quietly, not meeting his gaze when he turns his head to face her.
"You're lying. What's wrong." No room for disagreement, the Colonels tone is cold. "N-nothing, I'm just tired." Hawkeye's second attempt at deflection is clearly weaker than her first. "I thought you just said that you weren't tired." Mustang counters; Riza closes her eyes, knowing she has lost.
The silence in the room resumes and stretches for a long moment while the Lieutenant thinks of what to say. The vague smell of something charring nearly breaks her focus.
It's the beans, still sit atop of the fire, unattended and forgotten. Roy doesn't break his gaze even as Riza glances at the lopsided pot siting in the blaze. It is evident that Mustang will not be accepting any distractions.
"It's - been a while since we've done a mission like this. I'm not sure if I still have it in me to operate as sharp as I used to." The Lieutenant opts to tell a half-truth. This is in fact one of her worries, simply one that is closer to the bottom of her list.
She can't bring herself to meet his gaze, knowing her composure will crumble. The Colonel's eyes are unreadable yet intense, she can sense them burning into the side of her face as she studies the packed dirt floor.
"We should go to sleep." Roy says softly after a minute, he picks up the pot and tosses its contents out of the small hole in the wall being used as the fires vent. The beans are so burnt that they fell out in one large chunk, landing with an audible thud in the dry dirt below.
Cleaning the excess beans that are caked onto the pot won't be enjoyable, but that's tomorrows problem. Tonight, Riza just wants to escape this conversation. She'll take the days one problem at a time.
The Lieutenant nods her head in agreement even though Mustang's back is turned, taking off her shoes and jacket before crawling into the sleeping bag in her tshirt, pants, and socks.
The temperature is cold outside but with the fire burning and the insulated sleeping bags, Riza isn't worried. By this point, she's too exhausted to even bother worrying about the nightmares.
It only takes a minute or two for Riza to drift into sleep. Her anxious thoughts trailing behind her as the waking world fades to black.
~~~
Hawkeye awakes to the sound of dirt shuffling beneath a boot. She forces her groggy eyes open, barely able to squint at the looming figure above her.
It appears as though she hasn't moved an inch all night, her hand is even still tucked beneath her cheek the way it was when she went to sleep. Did she have any nightmares?
"You still look exhausted after sleeping like a rock all night. I checked once in the middle of the night to make sure you weren't dead. Are you alright?" The slightly teasing tone in Mustang's voice nearly overshadows the concern, but not quite.
Riza can't help but smile, was she so exhausted that she didn't have the mental effort for nightmares? Was it sleeping in what is essentially a large compression sock that stopped her from kicking around? Perhaps a mix of both? Riza has no idea, she's just grateful for the unexpected blessing.
"Uh Lieutenant?" Roy adds on, the concern heavier in his voice this time. Hawkeye realizes she still hasn't answered his question, she instead started squintedly smiling at him like an amnesia-ridden grandmother. With a light brush of red on her cheeks, Riza quickly composes herself.
"I'm fine sir, it was just a long journey yesterday." She responds after forcing her mind and body into a more solid state of wakeness. Today is the first day of their surveillance mission, there no time to be worrying about personal matters.
Now that the blurriness has been blinked from her eyes, Riza can see Mustang nod in response. He's already changed and geared up for the day it seems.
His black hair is slightly disheveled but it's not like they're going into base today. They're not meant to be seen on surveillance missions, that's the whole point. So unless they're undercover, there will be no one to care about what they look like.
Her gaze momentarily trails to his torso, he's wearing a different uniform than yesterday - One meant for camouflage in the desert, rather than the blue uniform meant to display his status in the base.
It's rather cold out, did he change in the drafty second room, or in this room with the fire … and Riza. Her blush deepens at the thought and she quickly looks away. She's been staring too long anyway. Evidently, her own mind is out to get her today.
Where did that thought come from and why does she all of a sudden care if the Colonel were to be less-than-fully-clothed in her presence? Hell, Riza had to show Mustang her fully exposed back for him to study the remnants of her fathers research there, etched in ink. And she certainly didn't feel like this. 'Is my head so messed up by these nightmares that I'm finally going mad?'
All of a sudden, Riza is filled with dread at the idea of having to change into her own tactical gear.
"I'm going to feed the horses. Be ready to go in 5." Roy finally responds before striding out to the adjacent room in the direction of the front door. His words are both a blessing and an order.
The Lieutenant wastes no time after seeing the back of his muted-orange uniform disappear out of sight. She slithers out of the black sleeping bag and gives herself a quick moment to stretch before pulling out her own camouflage uniform.
It only takes about a minute for her to pull on most of the uniform but the goosebumps form immediately when her skin is exposed to the chilly morning air. Or perhaps they're from the lingering idea of her taking too long and the Colonel walking in …
Is it her imagination, or is she now moving less urgently as she pulls the shirt over her head? It's just her imagination. Yes, just her imagination and nothing more.
The Lieutenant sighs as she straps on the rest of her gear and heads out of the safe house after dousing the fire. Something is clearly wrong with her today.
She hands Roy a packet of dehydrated meat, which he takes in vague confusion from atop of his horse. "We didn't eat last night. You have to eat before we leave or at least on the way." Riza replies casually as she mounts her own horse and opens the packet she grabbed for herself.
"Right, I recall now. We didn't eat because you didn't tell me what's been going on with you." Mustang says this again as if stating a passing thought. Already knowing he won't get any farther than last night in his attempt to determine what is going on in his Lieutenant's mind.
"If you recall, then you know I told you I was just tired. Now let's get moving, sir." Hawkeye responds hastily, wincing at the fact that she essentially just gave her superior an order.
Oh well, too late now. She continues with her rapid escape from the conversation (for the second time) as she urges her horse forward in the direction of Reole.
Mustang follows after her a moment later, a slightly-amused-slightly-worried look on his face as they begin their mission. Both of them munching on their meal as they cross the landscape.
This is going to be a long day.
~~~
'Have you done something to upset her?'
'Has she caught on about … No, don't even think it.'
'Dammit Lieutenant, why won't you talk to me?'
The Colonels conflicted thoughts kept him company during their mission since clearly Riza is not inclined to be anything more than a soldier to him right now.
He misses his friend and is desperately trying to think of a solution or at least the cause of his Lieutenants strange behavior.
The first day of their mission had commenced with nothing of note, the only occurrence being the Lieutenant requesting privacy for a semi-urgent bathroom break.
The city itself seemed normal, no suspicious activities were seen in the duration within their makeshift surveillance hut - Which was just a collection of dry brush half a mile west of the town's main entrance.
There wasn't even a single Ishbalan refugee in sight. Which isn't surprising, Reole is farthest city from the remnants of their home in the entire east area. Not to mention, running into an Ishvalan anywhere is quite rare in this time. However, if any criminals are seeking refuge in this city, they wouldn't stay close to the main areas. Their features are far to recognizable to be safe in the open.
Even so, it's strange that the two of them would be sent here with such a nonsensical mission. But it's not Mustangs job to question orders, it's his job to fulfill them. Even when his partner is acting concerningly without reason, steadily driving him mad.
In any case, they'll find ways to investigate deeper tomorrow and enter the city directly. All that's left to worry about today is making it 'home' safely and warming up some soup.
It seems his Lieutenant could use some warm soup right about now, Mustang can hear her chattering from behind on her own horse. It's nearly dusk again and they still have another mile to go, it will be fully dark by the time they return and start the fire.
During their mission when the sun was high in the sky, it was a pleasant temperature. But now that the sun has dipped over the horizon, the chilly evening air is quick to follow.
Roy slows the pace of his horse to a trot just barely ahead of Riza, attempting to at least partially shield her from the cold wind. Which is mercilessly blowing across the barren landscape with nothing but the occasional dry bushel or tree to divert its path.
"There it is." Roy says after another couple minutes of trotting with little but the sound of Riza's chattering cutting through the chilling air. He motions towards the safe house in the close distance. He never figured he'd be so relieved to see that drab place again so soon.
They quickly dismount their horses and urge them into the larger of the two rooms to protect them from the elements before scurrying into the other room. The remnants of the suns heat just barely clings to the clay walls now.
Roy busies himself in the corner of the room, preparing their fire for the evening. Riza uses this time to take off her camouflage jacket in place for one she packed that's more suited for winter. One of her own, not military issued. It's deep purple and quite fluffy, it certainly looks warm.
"You had room for that?" Roy asks teasingly, his amused face now lit from their fire. "I had to sacrifice your food rations for the mission to fit it in. Totally worth it. I hate being cold." The Lieutenant teases back.
Roy is almost taken aback by her response. He was expecting a neutral reply or perhaps an eye roll. But this, this sounds like the old Riza. His Riza.
Roy coughs at the unexpected thought but turns it into a chuckle before replying. "Ah so that's why you keep me around. I'm a free heat source." He replies playfully with a rare grin, which she half-heartedly returns.
"Spot on, sir. You've caught me." Riza responds with her own grin, putting her hands up in mock surrender before grabbing the pot from the night before and striding out of the room. "I'm going to wash this so we can reuse it. I'll be right back, sir." She calls over shoulder as she enters the second, larger, room.
For a minute after Mustang watches her leave, eyes linger on the space she just occupied. Hopeful thoughts running through his head. 'Are we better now? Has she forgiven me? Or does this mean that Riza still doesn't know that-'
"I'm going to need water to save this thing. Do we have any to spare?" The Lieutenant's question startles Roy and he quickly looks for something to occupy himself with before responding, pretending as though he is checking for her. "Yes, looks like we packed double the rations of what we expected to use. Somehow we fit all that along with your 10 snow jackets." He teases after fetching his report notebook and pen.
Mustang has barley filled in the first selection before Riza re-enters the room with an odd look on her face. As she passes him, Roy can feel the presence of her eyes on him.
He does his best to remain composed and focused while she retrieves one of their water spare containers and walks out of the room, unevenly tiptoeing over their sleeping bags.
Adorable.
The Colonel is grateful that Riza has already left the room and unable to witness the flushing of crimson in his cheeks. Like tiny tongues of fires beneath his skin, inclined on betraying his thoughts.
The truth is, Roy has a second mission here in Reole.
One he's been worrying about ever since the Brigadier General gave them this assignment. Mustang has been distant to Riza since then as well, he had no choice in his fear that she had caught on to his secret.
But tonight, tonight Roy is close to failing his mission. He has to get it together before it completely falls to shambles.
He must go back to keeping the Lieutenant at a distance, at least until they return from their assignment. It's the only way to protect her; and himself. Mustang's desire to know what's been bothering her will be forced to wait until the mission is over - Until both missions are over.
With a sigh, Roy returns to his paperwork.
~~~
Riza greets the horses before crouching down near the front wall with a low window to begin scraping the remnants of burnt beans from the bottom of the pot.
After a minute of scraping, Hawkeye deems the action hopeless. She confirms they have enough to spare, then returns to the small room to retrieve the water to wash and rinse the pot.
Roy is sitting cross legged on his sleeping bag, writing the report for the day as she retrieves what she needs and goes back to cleaning. Riza can't help but think of how attractive he is when he's concentrating. And something about his disheveled on-a-mission look is downright alluring to the Lieutenant. Odd, it's never felt like this before.
Only the horses are witness to Riza's blush as she quickly washes the pot and shakes off the excess water droplets. These strange thoughts are all because of the nightmares. Yes, the nightmares are to blame. This must be the case.
Taking a moment to calm her red face, Hawkeye re-enters the smaller room with a neutral (she hopes) expression, and hands Roy the slightly damp pot. The Colonel thanks softly her before casually evaporating the remaining moister with his alchemy and pouring in the soup contents. Placing it, again, directly onto the fire.
It's times like these when Riza is reminded how much Roy's alchemy is a part of him, an expression and extension of himself - A part of him that she gave him all those years ago.
Her ears are burning again.
And here Riza thought her main battle during this mission would be hiding her nightmares, maybe fighting a horde of vengeful refugees. Not … keeping her pre-pubescent urges in check. God how embarrassing.
Her goal here is to complete their mission, and stall (or avoid all together) the Colonel finding out about her nightmares. 'A second mission in itself.' Hawkeye thinks to herself sullenly. There is no room for a third mission here. These strange feelings she is having will have to wait.
Luckily, Mustang offers no ropes of conversation. Not a word pestering her about why she's been acting so strange.
And while Hawkeye is relieved, she can't help but feel suspicious. Or is she disappointed? Hard to say given how unpredictable her mind has been.
They eat their meal in silence after scooping their soup portion into smaller cups. The soup had some sort of red vegetable on the front label but it tastes bland. To be expected of military rations.
Suddenly, Riza is struck with an idea. With an exclamation of pleasant surprise, the Lieutenant turns around to pull out something else she brought from home. Mustang gazes curiously at her as he sips his own soup. The excited blonde turns around a moment later with two small red packets.
"Care to spice things up?" Riza jokes, tossing one of the spicy flavor packets over to Roy who inspects it suspiciously. "What, can't handle the heat?" She adds on after witnessing his hesitance.
Apparently this is the only urging the Colonel needed. With a huff, he quickly tears open the top of the packet and pours the contents into his soup. "Of course I can handle the heat. I'm the Flame Alchemist." He adds on grumpily as he stirs the soup in preparation for taking a bite.
"Well I certainly hope so. I only ever add half a packet ..." The Lieutenant responds with a shrug, proving her point by folding the top of her spice packet and placing the remains back in the storage pouch.
Undeterred, Roy finishes stirring and takes a long sip. The silence speaks volumes, as does the instant regret on Roy's face when he swallows. It's evident that the Colonel is trying his best to not start a coughing fit.
Riza giggles as she takes a sip of her own soup. She misses being able to mess with Mustang like this. Perhaps being on this mission isn't so bad after all?
"You can add more soup if the ratio is too spicy. You know, if it's too much heat for you." The blonde woman says teasingly as she takes another sip of her own, now properly flavored.
Stubbornly, of course, the Colonel shoves another bite into his mouth. Nearly sputtering on it a moment later. "My God, Lieutenant. This isn't spice, this is magma." He complains, finally relinquishing his pride to begin scooping more of the unflavored soup into his bowl.
"It's not bad when you use it correctly." Hawkeye responds with another shrug, taking another sip of her soup to further prove her point. "It's not my fault you didn't tell me." Mustang shoots back, not meeting her amused gaze as he stirs his soup again. "And it's not my fault you didn't read the instructions right there on the packet - They even added a little picture for you. Forgive me for having faith in you, sir." Riza replies solemnly, as if truly apologetic.
Roy rolls his eyes and warily takes another sip, clearly relieved to find it much more manageable this time. More than that, the look in his eyes suggests he actually is finding it quite tasty as well. "Good, right?" Hawkeye adds on, witnessing the Colonel take a longer sip. "Better than before." He responds grumpily, not fully willing to admit defeat. Riza giggles but doesn't press.
Finishing her own soup, she gives the cup a quick water rinse before setting it atop of her bag to dry. "I'm going to turn in for the night. We've got an eventful day planned tomorrow." The Lieutenant says with a long stretch. She takes off her fluffy jacket and work boots before settling into her sleeping bag.
"I'll be following soon. I need to finish this report first." Mustang responds, downing the rest of his soup (still not admitting that it tastes good) before picking up his notebook to lazily wave it in the air. Hawkeye grunts in response, her eyes already closed.
Her main mission comes first, she needs to be well rested. Riza can't afford to exhaust herself just in the hope that it will make her sleep dead enough to not have nightmares. She can't be selfish like that. Thoughts echo in her head as she drifts off to sleep.
The mission comes first.
The mission comes first.
The mission-
~~~
Is Riza asleep already? She's been exhausted all week.
Roy glances up from his report at the blonde Lieutenant, snoring softly a few feet away.
He can't help but smile at her relaxed features. She looks years younger with a content expression. Mustang could watch this for hours.
'Get yourself together.'
Disciplining himself before he completely loses his resolve, the Colonel returns to his report. It's half way done now anyway.
After 10 minutes, the last sections on the report have been filled in and Roy begins preparing himself for sleep. He's about to crawl into his own sleeping bag when he feels his stomach adjust and suddenly 'nature is calling.'
Cursing the spice packets under his breath, Mustang grabs what he needs before heading outside in search for a secluded area.
The cold certainly didn't help anything, making it impossible to relax. The 'process' takes longer than expected but Roy is just glad to be done with it.
No more flavor packets, no matter how tasty they might be.
Muttering under his breath, Mustang takes this time to feed the horses and refill their water buckets. By the time he finally returns to the smaller room where Riza is sleeping, about an hour has passed since she first dozed off.
Mustang was looking forward to seeing her content face upon returning, only to be greeted with a heavy scowl. His Lieutenant is still sleeping, but the relaxed expression is gone.
'Is the spice hitting her as well or-'
Mustang's confused thought is cut off when Riza's hand switches beside her scowling face. "A nightmare?" He wonders aloud softly. Roy kneels on the sleeping bag beside her, unsure of what to do.
"N-no~ He d-didn't-" Vague mumbles begin spilling from her slips but still, Hawkeye doesn't awake. Even as her twitching grows more violent until she is nearly thrashing in her sleeping bag.
"L-Lieutenant, Lieutenant! Please wake up, you're having a nightmare." Mustang says frantically, but Riza doesn't seem to register it. "No! I didn't! Stop!" There are tears streaming down Riza's face now as she yells.
This is the final straw for the Colonel.
Grabbing both of her shoulders, Roy pulls his Lieutenant up from her sleeping bag, placing her against his chest. "Wake up Lieutenant, you're safe. Riza, wake up." He says softly in her ear, rubbing soft circles on her shoulder.
A few moments later, he feels Riza stiffen against his torso. And a moment after that, she forces herself to look up at him in horror and embarrassment. Her cheeks, still tear-streamed, are now blushing bright red.
"Y-you … said my name." Hawkeye stutters after a long pause, not what she intended to say. That much is evident by the deepening hue of crimson dusting her face.
"You weren't waking up." Mustang responds, not sure why his own ears are beginning to burn as well. "Well I'm awake now. C-could you let me go me?" She asks softly, pulling her gaze away.
Oh, that's why.
In an instant, Roy releases his grip on the Lieutenants shoulders. Quickly scooching backwards onto his sleeping bag. He observes Riza from a few feet away, unsure of how to proceed, unsure of what to say.
"So … nightmares. How long have those been going on?" Mustang finally asks, unable to handle the silence any longer. Hawkeye flinches at the question. Why is she so defensive? It's not like having a nightmare isn't a common think amongst soldiers.
"A - a week now, sir." Riza responds softly, her gaze fixed on the gap between their sleeping bags. Well that is certainly less common occurrence.
"Why didn't you say anything? We have therapy and medical resources at the base-" The Lieutenant doesn't let Roy finish his statement before interjecting. "I don't need that! There's nothing wrong with me, sir. I can handle it myself." The defensive air in her words tells Mustang there'e more turmoil going on beneath the surface.
"I'm sure you can, Lieutenant. What I'm saying is that you don't, and shouldn't, have to." Roy responds carefully, Riza doesn't raise her voice often. It's evident that she is in a very vulnerable state.
As the silence stretches between them, Riza responds more quietly now. "I knew it. You think I'm weak now, don't you?" This surprises Roy, that is not what he thinks of her at all.
Riza, weak? Absolutely not. Mustang isn't a fool.
"Having something you need help with doesn't make you weak, it makes you human." Mustang recalls the words Hughes used to tell him all the time. No matter how in-his-head he would get, those words always had a way of pulling Roy out. Something he hopes will do the same for his Lieutenant.
"You don't think I'm weak? Even after seeing … that?" The timidness in her voice breaks something within Mustang, this isn't like Riza. Or at least, this is never a part of her that he has seen before.
Without thinking, he crosses the gap between them again to hold both of her shoulders firmly before responding. "Absolutely not, what a silly thing to think." He says, hoping his solid grasp and soft words will implore Riza to believe him.
While she doesn't meet his gaze, Roy does feel the tension in her shoulders relax and a small relieved smile tugs at her lips. "Is this why you've been acting so strange recently, especially about going to sleep?" Mustang asks this hesitantly, not wanting to push the Lieutenant back into her shell.
She gives a tiny nod, almost shy. Mustang can't help but smile at the sight of her so vulnerable and honest with him. Sure, they've shared secrets and saved each other more times that they can count, but this level of openness has never occurred before. And Mustang would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the strange feeling.
"You silly fool, you should have known better." He whispers teasingly. With a surge of bravery, he pulls the blonde woman to his chest again. This time, she accepts the hug, all of the tension in her body releases - Along with her pent up tears apparently.
Mustang holds her as she cries, whispering reassurances as he gently caresses her back. He feels a damp spot steadily growing on his chest but pays it no mind.
Riza keeps her head buried in his shoulder, Roy reckons this is due to embarrassment but he doesn't care at the moment. As long as she feels safe enough to cry.
"I-I'm sorry." The Lieutenant stammers out through her hiccups. "Shhh, there's no need to be sorry." He responds softly, tilting his head to gently rest atop of hers, still buried in his shoulder.
Mustang isn't sure what is possessing him to do this, he didn't have to go this far. Didn't he just decide that he was going to remain distant from the Lieutenant? As if determined to prove the thought wrong, The Colonel ignores the inkling and holds the sniffling soldier tighter to his chest. He can deal with the consequences later, right now, Riza comes first.
"I f-feel better now, I'm sorry sir." The Lieutenant says after another minute. She pulls herself away from her superior but still doesn't meet his gaze. The Colonel feels a slight tinge of disappointment at the loss of contact, but quickly pushes the feeling away.
"What did I just say, there's no need for apologies Riza." Mustang responds with a grin. This time, Hawkeyes does look up to meet his gaze. In surprise at him saying her name rather than her title, but Roy is still happy to take the win.
She nods in acknowledgment, but doesn't reply. Though Mustang does notice the tugging of a small smile at the corner of her lip. That's good enough for him.
"I'm curious though, why didn't you have any nightmares last night? You slept like a rock." The Colonel asks with a chuckle, genuinely curious now that his Lieutenant is in a better mind state.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I think it's because I was so exhausted that my mind didn't even bother to put effort into tormenting me." It's a sad joke, but a joke none the less. "Ah, so I didn't work you hard enough today, is that it? Noted." Mustang replies casually with his own joke, as if mentally taking a note to give her more work tomorrow.
"That's not what I meant, sir!" Hawkeye shoots back, but the giggles lacing her words leaves them with an unconvincing air. "No, no, no, say no more. I've got you covered, more work for Riza." The Colonel continues, her name slipping more easily off his tongue each time. He rather likes the feeling of it crossing his lips.
"You're an ass, sir." The Lieutenant responds, still giggling but her face is red now too. She has a beautiful laugh, and a contagious giggle. It's a shame that the Colonel doesn't get to hear it often, or see this side of her. She's always so serious - Even in her sarcasm.
He's going to make the most of this while he can, while also doing his best to comfort Riza so she never has a nightmare again. A bit of an ambitious goal, but that's never stopped Roy before. He's determined to be the next Fuhrer after all.
"So the question remains, how do we get you to have a good rest tonight?" Mustang says, a vague plan forming in his head. "Oh, I'll be fine sir." Riza says immediately, unsure of what her superior is plotting, but certain it will be at her expense.
"But you said it yourself Lieutenant, being exhausted is the only way to help you sleep." Roy continues, a vague memory playing in his mind from an undercover mission with Riza a couple years ago. The mission that start it all; the mission that is the cause of his second mission here in Reole.
An accidental discovery had been made. Mustang didn't fully exploit the discovery at the time, but best be sure he stored it away for future use. With said future being this moment.
"T-to be exact, I said I wasn't sure." Hawkeye replies warily, eyeing the doorway outside in case she needs to make a quick getaway, hopeless considering Roy is between her and the entrance. "Well then the only thing left now is to experiment so we can be certain." Mustang shoots back, shouldering off his tear-stained jacket, not taking his eyes of Riza for a moment.
"What are you-" The Lieutenant doesn't have a chance to finish her question before Roy tosses his jacket away and 10 fingers dig into her torso. Given the unexpectedness of the attack and that she's only wearing a T-shirt for protection, controlling her reaction is hopeless.
Riza immediately erupts into laugher, falling backwards onto her sleeping back in a futile attempt to escape the Colonel's tickling fingers. A poor decision, Mustang quickly takes advantage of her mistake as he mounts her legs and doubles his attack.
"Yohou jeheherk!" The blonde soldier yells, though any animosity is lost given how her face is currently scrunched up in laughter. "What, don't you remember our undercover mission in Central City two years ago?" Mustang responds teasingly as he digs his thumbs just above her hip bones.
"I remehehember, I just dohont knohow why you're dohoing thihis!" Clearly, the hips aren't bad enough of a spot if the Lieutenant can still complete full sentences. Mustang quickly moves his fingers to claw at her ribs before replying. "Isn't it obvious? I'm exhausting you so won't have nightmares. Plus, you could use a laugh." He says with a shrug, finding her reaction much more satisfactory than before.
"WHAHAIT! SIR PLEAHAHASE!" Riza pushes at his hands with her own but amidst her laughter, she's not very accurate or strong. Or perhaps she's merely pretending to fight to save face. Mustang doesn't care, as long as Riza is laughing now and sleeping soundly later.
"I'm afraid I can't do that. Now stay still." The dark haired man says this as if giving a casual order, but the smirk on his face betrays his intentions. "YOU KNOHOW I CAHANT!" The Lieutenant protests, her eyes are now squeezed shut. In embarrassment or hysterics, Mustang isn't sure.
"And you know I can't stop until I'm satisfied that you'll be able to sleep with no nightmares." The Colonel counters with a shrug, as if the situation is unavoidable for both of them and he is merely playing his role. In truth, he is greatly enjoying himself. Seeing Riza so carefree beneath him is a rare sight to see.
Beneath him.
Ah.
Perhaps there more to why Mustang is enjoying himself right now.
Not wanting the Lieutenant to witness his own blushing face, Roy doubles his attack to assure that her eyes stay closed in desperate laughter.
"Tell me Lieutenant, where are you most ticklish?" Mustang asks in a feigned serious tone. Widening his grip to claw at more of her ribs, almost encasing them entirely.
"NOHO WAHAY IN HEHELL, SIHIR!" Apparently Riza has retained her sarcastic bite even in her panicked state. "Hmm but it would be much better to just tell me. Rather than making me find it myself." Roy replies diplomatically. He's still grinning, well aware that his Lieutenant won't be one to give up easy.
"DOHONT SEE YOHOUR POHOINT!" Hawkeye is clearly having a hard time getting the sentences out now, even leaving off her habitual 'sir'.
The dark haired man leans forward to begin tickling her underarms before responding. "My point, Riza, is that it's much faster for me to tickle you senseless in your worst spot, than have me hunt for it myself and exploit it to my content after." If she wasn't already blushing so hard, Mustang is certain the Lieutenant would have gone pale from his words.
Riza doesn't respond, perhaps unable, due to laugher or embarrassment. Little does Mustang know, this is actually because she is plotting.
Roy admittedly was expecting victory after that last comment. A very poor decision on his part, he let us guard down. Even worse, Mustang ket his guard down in front of a cornered animal. A very poor decision indeed.
In an instant, the Colonel feels a rush of wind and is suddenly face up on his own sleeping bag. Riza is breathless, grinning victoriously above him.
"Tell me Colonel, where are you most ticklish?" She says after another moment of gasping for air. Hearing his own words used against him is the cherry on top of his humiliating defeat after being so close to winning.
"Nowhehere st-stop thahat." Mustang's attempt at deterring his Lieutenant is quickly thwarted as his body betrays him. 'You just had to take your jacket off before tickling her, didn't you?' He scolds himself internally as he fights to gain leverage against her wiggling fingers on his stomach.
"Did you forget what else was discovered on that mission?" Riza asks mischievously, the light glint in her eyes is downright mesmerizing. For a moment, Mustang can't even find it in himself to respond.
This is going to be a long night, but one thing is for certain - They're both surely going to be exhausted at the end of it.