Oh I loved your thoughts on the last chapter. Ana's proposition was pretty controversial wasn't it?

On another note.. If kink play is not your cup of tea you better skip this chapter…

Where new frontiers get explored...

The first Sunday came where we had a rather mild spanking session. It was alright but not what I expected.

To raise Christian's motivation, I can't deny that I tried to get on his nerves more than I normally do just to see how he'd respond, keeping our Punishment Sundays in the back of my mind. I even went back to the lingerie store to buy that provocative strap outfit and put it on just to wander his office when he was attending an online conference.

I'd definitely be a bratty sub if I'd be one.

The next Sunday came and again we strictly stuck to spankings with subsequent sex. By then I was pretty sure that he had dismissed the idea as a whole, as he showed no signs to elaborate. I have to admit I was a tad bit disappointed. Who am I lying to? I was really disappointed.

Days went by. Finally, the weekend was near. This last week has kept me on my heels with all the work at the office. Jack has given me even more assignments than usual which I only could work off by staying overtime or coming early. SIP has put a promotion including a long term contract in sight if I continued to be as dedicated. So I did. By the cost of sleep, regular meals and… seeing Christian.

„Wake up." He gently strokes my face. What time is it? My eyelids are heavy as lead, slowly opening them, I cannot see him. It's still dark outside.

„What?" I mumble. I hope it's important, I'm so tired from yesterday and frankly the last few days. Last night we spent hours in the playroom, I still have a leg cramp from it. So saying I am exhausted is an understatement.

„Tired?" His voice makes my eyes pop open. I recognize his tone immediately.

„Yes?" I stammer and realize that it's.. Sunday! Punishment Sunday!

„Don't move." Oh we are starting early in the morning then?

„Today I want you to learn the importance of sleep. " he says seductively.

"Why wake me up then." I grunt and bury my head in the pillow, rolling back on my stomach.

He peels back the blanket. After last night I just passed out stark naked. To my delight he massages my back, it feels heavenly. Leaning forward he kisses my neck until his lips are close to my ear.

"I want you to wear this for me." He whispers. God, I hope he's not talking about the Ben-wah-balls. I'm too tired for that. Without delay I feel him shifting off me, parting my legs. And then something is inside of me, slightly squishy. Not the cool hard metal I know. Without movement I cannot feel it at all.

With a light slap on my butt cheek he gets up.

"Now, go back to sleep." As if I could do that on the spot.

I turn around slightly to look at him. Oh. Such a subtle sensation inside of me. Even less than the balls I'm accustomed with.

"I don't think I can.." I say. He smiles knowingly.

"Maybe that's the whole point."

Ugh. So he's punishing me for my lack of self care? This is going to be a long day…

Three hours later the sun has finally risen and I peel out of bed. Being as tired as I was I think I fell asleep for short periods of time only to be woken up by this humming sensation in my lower abdomen. Not as much as a vibration, definitely less than the feeling of penetration but something. Just a mere feeling of fullness. Don't get me started on taking that squishy thing out when I went to pee and having to put it back in again.

Ugh. It's driving me crazy.

For breakfast he decides to teach me the next lesson. The importance of regular meals. At least I'm allowed to get that thing out of me. It still leaves me needy and wet but doesn't add any more fuel to the flame.

Somehow Christian has taught himself to make decent waffles which I find very endearing. He makes it his personal duty to feed me spoonfuls of warm waffles with fruit and maple syrup. Everything would be an ordinary Sunday morning for a couple in love. Cute and fun. With the slight addition that I am stark naked and blindfolded, sitting in his kitchen while he feeds me.

Until he starts to "accidentally" spill the syrup on me and lick it off. At first only innocently from the corner of my mouth. Then my cleavage. Then around my nipple.

I'm so worked up I groan in frustration. Hoping to speed up the process I grab him close.

"Good things need time." He says and leans back.

Instinctively I yank my blindfold down, fuming in rage and need. Christian is the master of edging, I should have known what to expect when I questioned his abilities. This is my payback.

"Christian…!"

"Did I say you could take it off?"

"No." I say quietly. Oh boy..

I continue to look at him provocatively.

"Seems like we need to get quicker to our last lesson for today…the value of time." He mumbles while picking up another forkful of waffles.

"I'm still hungry." I lie and try to pull the blindfold back on. Christian laughs and I only imagine him shaking his head to my weak attempt at delaying whatever he has in store.

In the long run it's no use. I find myself squatting wide legged in the corner of his study, facing the wall. Hands bound and bend being my head, ankles uncomfortably tied together. Somehow this reminds me of a kid being put in the corner when they're being naughty. Just that I'm grown up, nude and extremely aroused to the point of painfulness.

"You stay here. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." While I try to stay in said position for God knows how long my mind begins to wander. Is this just humiliation or already degradation? Or objectification? Maybe all of those. I'm squatting here like some kind of decoration in his office while he works. This probably shouldn't turn me on, he's not even close to me. Didn't touch me or say anything arousing. In fact he hasn't interacted with me for what… half an hour? But then I've been aroused since early in the morning by wearing that thing. It seems like he has pushed me ever so slightly in a needy, submissive head space.

I love it.

After some time my legs give in and I need to support myself on the wall. Declaring it would be a time for a break, he scoops me up to take us over to his desk. As if he has all the time in the world he bends me over the table and starts to spank me. Ever so slightly. Not the rough touch I know from him. Not the rough touch I need from him. The sensation is out of this world. Painfully dissatisfying.

"You're so ready, aren't you?" He asks while his fingers pump in and out of me. Only a few more strokes..

The reasonable me knows I should answer with calm and courtesy to reach my goal. The Ana he has unleashed just moans loudly.

"Not yet then." He says and stops. My dry lips catch on my teeth and I feel the stinging pain as the delicate skin rips open.

He carries me to the playroom. My feet are slightly unsteady when he puts me down. Standing in the middle of the room, he gets another rope and secures it around my wrist ties.

"Get on your toes." I never did ballet in my life so really getting on the tip with bound ankles is hard. "Higher. Good."

All of this preparation only to get me tied to one of the ceilings fixtures in an outstretched position. My already exhausted legs won't keep up for long with these acrobatics.

Leisurely he walks to the chest of drawers and gets out a pair of nipple clamps. That's alright, I guess. I'm pretty used to those. I show him my self confidence with a smirk when approaches me.

Big mistake.

The moment he puts them on I feel something is different this time. They hurt a little like they always do. But they tingle the back of my mind sneakily, lowering every last bit of self control I have. Christian sits down on the Chesterfield couch, one ankle crossed over his knee and looks at me. Almost like watching a documentary on TV. Feeling the throbbing of my nipples directly translate between my legs I get rather impatient to put it mildly. And so it goes on, my body betraying me by every passing minute. The pain of constant tension of my muscles singing in tune with the tingling sensation of the clamps.

The result of all of this? I'm a needy mess, this is the most aroused I have ever been. Somehow he has fucked with my mind!

It doesn't get better when he starts to undo his pants with all the ease in the world. I longingly stare at his erection, hoping he'd finally come close and grant me what I desire so deeply.

He doesn't. Instead he leans back again, to watch me writhe on my tiptoes. Giving himself an occasional stroke and driving me even more crazy. And so we stay like this, for God knows how long, my legs shake, my nipples sing in pain, I'm throbbing painfully between my legs.

"Sir, I can't take it anymore." Although this is physical torture, it's not the physicality that's finishing me. My exhausted body is just the means to weaken my mind. My mental restraints. Because right now, I'd do everything he asks of me, just for him to finally give me some sexual release. Anything he wants.

My reaction is so unpredicted to me. We didn't do much dirty talk, even less touching. He didn't spank me roughly, didn't slap or bruise me. He didn't rough fuck me where I'm left too sore to walk. No. Today he has really tortured my will, exhausted my body. And all I can say is that it's intoxicating. Addicting.

When we finally, finally fuck it's not just pleasure, it's a relief. I'm exhausted by the length of the scene. Simultaneously he's woken some deep desire in me I never knew I had. But the pain to get here..

Next time I'll think twice about disregarding sleep or skipping breakfast.

A few days later I'm staying over at Christians place. He's busy in his office. As always. In contempt silence I sit in his office lounging chair and do some of my readings. The mutual ease between us is comforting.

"Ana, could you get me those folders out of my safe? Right behind you."

He's typing away on his laptop while being what looks like a conference call. That's probably the reason why he's having his white ear buds in.

I get up and find the safe unlocked, he must have accessed it earlier today. There I find the said folder and quickly hand it to him. He mouths a thank you and resumes talking on his meeting.

When I want to return to my seating, I see an open envelope that must have fallen out of his safe. I lean down to collect it and freeze on the spot.

There are pictures inside. My pictures. I glance over my shoulder. Christian is oblivious, deep in conversation with whoever.

This can't be me. It just can't be. The picture is from the suspension session we had a few weeks ago. I remember enjoying it. Christian was right when he said it would be pleasurable for both of us, he didn't disappoint. But now. It reminds me of that image I saw online back in the day when I did my innocent research. I was horrified by it. I never could imagine what kind of human being would even consider doing such things, let alone enjoy it. Now? I'm the one who's in that exact same position. How did I change so much?

Before Christian can see what's going on, I stuff the picture back into the safe and quickly escape from his study.

I need air. Fresh air.

Standing on the far edge of the terassse, I take a deep breath.

Right. We are a monogamous, heterosexual couple who have ruled out heavy impact play and other more extreme things. In terms of vanilla relationships we might be kinky, in the BDSM community we would be considered rather lame.

Then why am I so stuck up on what I like in bed? Christian never judged me…why am I so hard on myself? So what if I like to be tied up? So what if I like rough sex? Before I can finish my thoughts I feel his hand on my waist.

"Everything alright?"

"I thought you were working?" I ask.

"Yeah, I was. What's going on?"

I look away. What am I supposed to tell him?

"I.. " Ugh. I don't want to hear his lecture about me being close minded and insecure.

"You saw the pictures." He states and cradles my face. How does he know? Just how? "Maybe I know you better than you'd like." He says. Something I told him a long time ago. Alright. At this point were having a crazy silent conversation.

"Yes." I sigh and turn away from him.

"You gave me the camera…" he starts.

"I know. I was just surprised to find them." I lie. Christian looks at me for a long time. Deep down I'm already preparing for his monologue. Instead he kisses the top of my head and holds me close while we watch the sun set in the far distance.

Two weeks later. Sunday again. We do breakfast, then lunch and nothing happens. No playroom. No spanking. Nothing.

„Have you seen my in house movie theater?" he asks.

„I've seen it once." There are a lot of rooms here.

„Let's go." He says and holds out a hand for me. Oh? Watching a movie then?

„I wanted to see the new Batman movie for some time." I say while we walk up the stairs.

„The same old story… How many are there by now? I've stopped counting years ago…" he says.

Christian closes the door behind us and turns off the main light. The warm ambient lighting around us gives a comforting atmosphere.

„Maybe a romantic movie? We could make out like teenagers!" I giggle. We cozy up in the comforter.

„Sure." He says and grins. Then he gets down to a half laying position and I nuzzle in between his legs. So comfy!

Behind my head he's doing something on his phone, the screen lights up.

This is not a romcom or any kind of movie appropriate for a theater. There's a blurry picture of what seems to be a naked ass. Looks like a man.

„Porn? I didn't know you were into that." I turn around to look him in the eye. Can't deny I'm slightly shocked.

„I'm not." Why is he so smitten? „No more questions." He says and presses play. I turn back to look at the screen.

The male protagonist moves aside to reveal..

„Ah!" I involuntary yelp, seeing my blindfolded, naked self kneeling on the floor. Out of mere shock I press my hands onto my face from the discomfort of seeing me.

He stops the video again.

„You'll watch this with me. If you look away, we start anew." Is this his sick idea of punishing me?

„When did you film us? How do I not know about this!" He's always so adamant about consent and now what?

„A few weeks ago. Kind reminder. You gave me a camera to take pictures of you." That's true.

„It was an analog camera!"

„So what?"

„This is different." I reason with him. Or try to reason with myself. I definitely asked for exactly this… „What if someone gets hold of this?"

He bursts out laughing. „You really think I'd let anyone see this? I own a fucking tech company. I sure as hell now how to secure my data."

I huff out a lung full of air.

„You're going to watch this with me… " he says. I try to interject. „.. and I'll discard of all evidence right after, if that's what bothers you. Although I'm pretty sure that's not what this is about. "

Guilty.

„Punishment Sunday?" I murmur.

„Let's make it Educational Sunday today, shall we?" He says and kisses my neck. Educational Sundays are the worst…I just remember what I became after the last one. I can't look a him. But I also can't look at that frozen picture of me stark naked blown up to infinity on the screen. So I close my eyes.

„Are you going to be a good girl and do as told?"

Why? Why is he doing this? He knows that I'm uncomfortable. He knows I get embarrassed. Is this his idea of exposure therapy? Hell no.

"Yes, Sir." I sigh even though I'm not his sub. Why did I ask him to do these punishment sessions with me again?

Instead of resuming the video he turns me around to straddle his lap, then we kiss. My mind is reeling from what I just saw and what will come up next. Christian begins to feel me up, maybe we can just have sex here and forget about the video? Then he leans back.

"I want you to see yourself how I see you. Just for once."

I can only sigh. "Fine." It won't be that bad, right?

Maybe I can trick my brain to stop seeing myself and rather see it more from an analytical perspective? Lighting, choice of frame work, sound quality?

I snuggle back to my lying position. My shoulders are very tense.

"Relax." He whispers in my ear and starts the video again.

Deep breath. This is just me and him watching…well us… having sex. Nothing on that video could embarrass me in any way.. Because well, I wasn't embarrassed to do it back then. I wonder which scene this is? I hope its not the one where I..

Alright. Movie Christian is kneeling too and I hold out my hands in front of me. That angle isn't too bad, I look kind of decent. He's tying my hands with a red rope. A rhythmic beat is playing in the background. A tranquility radiates from both of us.

I shuffle a little in my place to relax a little. Another deep breath. Maybe I can watch this without squirming? Christian puts his hand on my stomach, I put mine on top of his. Back to the screen.

This must be somewhat in the middle of a scene, Christian is normally dressed in the beginning. I try really hard to remember when this might have been. Having finished the bondage, he gently strokes my face. Movie me is stretching her neck to embrace his movements. Then he guides me to the bed. Climbing on top of it he pulls me to sit in the middle, tying the rope extension to the ceiling, my hands stretched above my head.

I'm glad this video has a soft porn vibe to it. I don't know how I would react if it was one of our more elaborate session. Uncomfortable with my own thoughts my shoulders flinch. In response Christian strokes the skin from my midriff that's exposed by my shirt.

Oh wow. So now I'm riding him. I try not to get too worked up by the image of myself or the sounds that I make. Instead I focus on Movie Christian, who's holding my hips and looks at me with desire. He says something which is overcast by my moans. Whatever he said I'm riding him harder and harder until we both come.

Huff. Okay. I watched myself come and am still breathing. Besides the fact that my blindfolded, bound self has burned itself into my memory I can't say this was as awkward as I thought. Kind of hot even.

He frees my hands from the ceiling and checks the tightness around my wrists. I'm lying down to come back from my high as it seems. "You're on top." He says. Now he's lying down again. The back of his head facing the camera, almost hanging off the edge of the bed. He gives some instructions which I cannot hear as the music has picked up again. Sound quality is definitely poor.

Oh no. I know where this is heading. I climb on top of him… my back to the camera. Leaning down. No. No. No. At this point I'm almost full mooning... What is that?! Christian is looking behind himself… looking straight into the camera and readjust me. Then he grabs both of my butt cheek to open me wide up.

Oh my God! That bastard really wants to capture all of me, doesn't he?

Movie me is totally oblivious, I'm having a great time sucking his dick. Why am I doing that as if I haven't eaten in a week? My boobs are hanging.

God, this is so freaking embarrassing!

Christian presents me to the camera, wide and open, before he eats my ass.

I need to close my eyes to compose myself.

"We haven't gotten to the best part yet." He whispers in my ear and pushes a strand of hair behind it.

"And what would that be?" I cross my arms in front of my chest. My heart is beating fast out of sudden.

"You're two orgasms in at this point. After this one, you really let go."

Oh his cue, I come on screen.

I try to focus on Christians reaction to minimize my embarrassment.

There's a longer pause where I just rest on top of him, while he takes care of me.

I appreciate the change of pace. My nerves are a wreck at this point.

He carries me to the table, slightly out of the picture. There's not much to see which I greatly appreciate at this point. I remember what comes next and am so grateful he didn't catch that on camera. But then his face pops up close to the screen and he winks at it. Winks! Before taking it and relocating it to where I am. Too freaking close! Far closer than before. My legs are tied like a spread eagle to the adjacent high poles, my blindfolded head and bound hands hanging off the other end. At least my boobs look good in this stretched position. "You come when I allow it." He says.

Oh great. Sound recording is improved too?

Then he pushes into me, his head cut off by the new angle. It's just all of me and his lower half pounding into me. Then he stops.

Oh man, I remember how frustrated I was.

He pounds into me again. Stops. Resumes. Stops. I'm so freaking loud! Begging, pleading him to let me come.

I can't take it anymore. I press my hands onto my eyes. My own voice, moaning, pleading him to fuck me is hammering into my ears. Over and over again.

"Good girl. Now come." He says breathlessly.

Good to know he is struggling to keep his Dom persona when I unravel underneath him like this. I didn't catch that back then.

I look again to see how Christian climaxes, before the crashes into me. His torso, pressed on top of me, rising and falling in a frenzy. Nuzzling my chest and neck. Then he pulls out of me, leaves and the screen goes black.

Wow, seeing him enjoy himself from this perspective.. Knowing I can make him feel this way is surprisingly empowering. I note that I'm slightly flustered with a throbbing sensation between my legs.

"My boobs are so jiggly! I definitely need a boob job!" I blurt to divert from my current state. The scene of me riding him was a painful reality check.

"Your boobs are perfect just as they are." He says with a laugh.

"That was the most disturbing, contradictory thing I've seen in my life." I say.

"Contradictory?"

I don't know how to confess that..

"You're soaking aren't you?" he says and pushes his hands into my panties. I'm relieved he finds his goal quickly. "You're a goddess Ana. My secret little vixen." He whispers in my ear, intoxicating my mind.

I feel even more embarrassed that I want him right now. After the torture he just put me through! With my last bit of self respect I keep myself from asking him to ease my longing.

"I love you so much. Every inch of you." He continues but doesn't move his hand.

"Christian, that was… too much."

I must not think about sex. I have a point to prove here. Torturing me isn't pleasurable. At all. I won't engage him to do that ever again. Never! I did this for him. Not myself. He's the kinky one. I didn't enjoy that. I shouldn't enjoy that.

He pulls his hands out of my panties.

"I'll get rid of it, babe." He says. "You did very well."

I shuffle to a sitting position. "I thought I had to watch it again if I close my eyes?" Which I did several times.

"You pleased me just enough. No need to push it any further." He says and strokes my cheek. Without thinking twice I grab his neck and push my mouth onto him, grinding my crotch into his. To my joy he's rock hard.

"Easy there." He pulls me up to reduce the pressure on him.

I pull away completely, standing up to look down on him. I don't care what my mind is trying to tell me right now. That nobody in his right mind could find me attractive. Especially after I saw every angle of me on screen. That I never will be good enough for him.

I stand up and get rid of my clothes, still holding his gaze. He watches me with mirth in his eyes then pulls down this pants to reveal his erection.

"I'll watch it again if you fuck me while doing so." I say before I can overthink it.

"Deal." Discarding his clothes completely he pushes me onto my stomach.

"Hands behind your back. No sound from you. I want to hear your angelic voice from the screen."

Without delay I lift my butt to great him. I hear the music from the screen play again and sooner than later he fills me up while I watch my naked self on screen get bound with red rope for a mind blowing session.