The man was surprised to see the ancient house abandoned. It was all boarded up, and the only living thing around was a rat scurrying on the porch. He asked a passerby for details.

"How should I know? I only moved here four years ago, it was abandoned when I arrived," scoffed the passerby.

"Well there's no need to be rude," snorted the man.

That was something unexpected. He decided to ask around for Jewelie Harold. Oddly, though, nobody knew about her. The man grew frustrated: how could nobody know the name of somebody who was rich? So frustrated was he, he went into a bar.

"What shall it be? Whiskey?" asked the bartender.

"Oh, you think that just because I'm a red-headed scot, you think I like whiskey?" asked the man. "Well guess what, commoner: I'm not that stereotype."

"Well there's no need to be rude, Mister!"

"The name is Angus Stobo," said the man. "Baron Angus Stobo, and I come from the famed Stobo family in Scotland."

"Eh, never heard of them," said the bartender. "What brings you here?"

"I'm looking for my fiance, Jewelie Harold," said Angus.

"I don't know anybody by the last name of Harold," said the bartender. "But I did know a woman named Jewelie from her brother-in-law, Noah Owens: he used to come down here and drink when he lived that."

"In-law?! What do you mean in-law?!"

"She married an engine driver some years ago. They moved to Ffarquhar so the engine could run the branch line there."

Angus couldn't believe what he was hearing! If this was his Jewelie, then how could that happen? Frustrated, he grabbed a glass from the patron next to him and drank it.

"Who the bloody fuck do you think you are?!" the patron shouted, punching Angus on the cheek.

"I just told this man, I'm Angus Stobo!"

He smashed the glass onto the patron's head, and before long, both got into a brawl. A crowd gathered around as bouncers tried to break them up.

Furious, Angus decided he'd go to Ffarquhar after the fight was over. Unfortunately, he had arrived at Vicarstown when the last passenger train for the day had already left. This didn't deter him in the slightest: instead, he decided to sneak onto a goods train. A signalman spotted him, but didn't report, for the guard had also caught him in the act.

"And what do you think you're doing?" he asked. Angus turned to the guard.

"I must save my true love. She lives in Ffarquhar and I need to get there. Have this money, good man, and…"

"Your money isn't my interest: my interest is the safety of this train," said the guard sternly. "And I can't let you on and risk you stealing anything."

"Fine," said Angus. "I guess I have no choice."

And he gave the guard a punch..

The brawl lasted until the night shift stationmaster came along and broke it up.

"Now, what is going on?" he asked.

"I need to take a train to Ffarquhar," said Angus. "No other passenger trains are running, that was my only option."

"Why are you unable to wait until morning?" asked the stationmaster. Angus found he couldn't answer.

"My love is waiting for me! She's married to an abusive fuck, and I must save her…"

"Clearly, you're delusional," said the stationmaster. "Did you even meet this husband?"

"No, of course not."

"Then how do you know he's abusive?"

Angus didn't reply.

"Just as I thought," said the stationmaster. "Now come on down to the station, the police will be having a word with you there."

Angus didn't have to spend the night in jail, but he was angrier. He bided his time until 5 AM, when the first train would depart.

All the way to Knapford, he thought of what he would say to Jewelie. However, instead of arriving at Knapford, he ended up in Tidmouth. As it turned out, this train was a fast train, and Knapford Junction wasn't a stop. Undeterred, he took a bus to Ffarquhar.

Once there, he asked a man with a patch for the woman named Jewelie.

"She's my sister in law," he answered.

"So, you must be Noah."

"Yes, that's me. Why do you wish to know where my family lives?"

"For nothing…the sheds, you say?"

"Yes. But you clearly have a reason. Nobody wants to ask…"

"I don't have time for this!" snapped Angus. "Move aside!"

Once he reached the sheds, he noticed the house built on the same structure. Therefore, he knocked on what he assumed was the front door. A 24-year old man answered.

"Does Jewelie Harold live in this house?" asked Angus.

"Her name is Jewelie Owens now, and I am her husband," was the answer.

Angus went into a state of shock.

"No…this…can't be…"

"What? What's the problem?"

Angus barged inside, finding Jewelie breastfeeding Stuart, while her mother tended to the flowers in the backyard.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" demanded Jewelie. "You can't just barge in without permission!" She quickly covered herself and put Stuart in his crib.

"My love, I have come for you. After all these long years, I finally made my return." He tried to step closer to her, but Conan would have none of it.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"

He grabbed the man and was about to punch him, only to stop when he saw Stuart about to wake up.

"What's your fucking problem?!" he demanded. "She's mine, my wife. You lost your chance years ago."

"So you KNOW who I am." Angus said. "Well, then I have to say…"

At that moment, Ms. Harold entered the house, and froze when she saw who else was there.

"Angus Stobo?!"

"Yes, my dear aunt. It's me."

"Look, you must leave," she said sternly. Angus found himself taken aback.

"You support her marrying this peasant?!"

"He's not a peasant, he's a gentleman in his own right," said Mrs. Harold.

"My mother and you had this arranged," Angus protested. "We were supposed to be married in December 1924, and this is December 1924!"

"Wait, you were the one I was supposed to marry?" Jewelie asked.

"Indeed. And now I reclaim you. My dear Jewelie, leave this peasant, leave this bastard child, and be with me forever. We both are nobles, meaning we belong together."

"Just because I'm the daughter of a noble doesn't mean I consider myself a noble," said Jewelie.

"You are a Baroness. You deserve better than what this man can give you," insisted Angus.

Jewelie looked to her mother, who gave a nod. She then turned back to Angus and kicked him in his downstairs area. The Baron screamed, and fell to the floor.

"I'm making myself very clear: I'm not a baroness, I'm me! I'm happy with the life I live and will not give it up for you. Now leave and never come back!"

"I refuse to…AAH! My balls!"

Long story short, Conan and Jewelie ended up carrying him out of their house and tossing him onto the street, nearly hitting TKE #3 in the process.

"And don't come back! Good day, sir!" snapped Conan, before slamming the door on his face.

"Behold, the world's first flying man!" TKE #3 called out. The trucks behind him couldn't help but giggle.

"Shut up! It's not funny!" Angus shouted.

"We wouldn't be laughing if it wasn't!" one of them called out. Furious, Angus stood up…and fell back down.

A few hours later, Angus was at another tavern, when that same eyepatch man came in.

"So, you're the ex-fiancé of my sister-in-law," he said. "Conan told me all about you. The name's Noah, and I have words for you. Listen, I know how it feels to lose somebody. My girl died during the Great War because of a stalker who couldn't accept she had found somebody who wasn't him. I was upset and the thought still hurts, but…I couldn't stay like that forever. I'll never have another girlfriend, but…I can't stay down. I must carry on with my life. If you really love Jewelie, you'll let her go, because her happiness matters more than being with her."

"Rubbish! I can make her happy, I know that!"

"Yes, and the best way to do that is to let her be with her current husband. I know full well she and my brother are happy. Let them be so…or else."

But Angus didn't seem to be listening.

Next morning, as Thomas was being fired up, a shout was heard from across the yard. It belonged to Angus: in those days, railway yards weren't as well-guarded as they are now.

"What the…?"

Angus was screaming at Conan to show himself.

"Keep that noise down, you'll disturb the neighbours!" Thomas called.

"Where is Conan?!" Angus raged.

"Eating breakfast. Our first train is not due for another hour," said Thomas. "Screaming won't bring him out."

Angus decided to try banging on the door with fury. That only led to some indistinct cursing from inside.

"OPEN! BLOODY OPEN THIS BLOODY DOOR!"

"Gee, somebody has anger issues," said TKE #2.

At last, the door opened, with Angus coming face-to-face with the barrel of a shotgun, held by none other than Conan.

"You didn't think I'd be unprepared for when you came back, did you?" Conan asked.

Angus paled. He stammered for an answer as Conan stepped out.

"Clearly, you didn't think this whole thing through," said Conan. "As you're intruding on my property, I've every right to shoot you. So you better start running."

"Never!" shouted Angus, pulling out a pistol. There was a pause, both men stared each other down, neither breathing a word.

"So this is what a gun duel looks like," said TKE #3. "I've heard about these, but never actually witnessed them myself."

"Fine, then. If you want to duel, so be it."

And with that, Conan cocked his gun. Taking the opportunity, Angus fired his pistol…nothing! Confused, Angus tried again, but still nothing. He then took a look inside the clip: it was empty.

"Son of a…"

Conan fired his shotgun before the Baron could finish, and shot him in the leg. Angus fell, squealing like a pig.

"Bastard! You shot me below the belt!"

"Consider yourself lucky your not dead," said Conan. "Now get out at once, and stay away from my family."

"One day, arsehole, you'll pay," said Angus with a growl.

"Alright, cash or check?" asked Conan. "If I'm gonna pay someday, might as well be now."

Humiliated, Angus crawled away from the house. Thomas and the Coffee Pots watched his pitiful attempts to do so with all the pain in his leg. In all honesty, the three of them found it rather funny.

"Lesson learned today, don't fuck with Conan's family," told TKE #2, to the agreement of her brother.

"I do have to wonder, will he have learned it?" asked Thomas.

"Hard to say," replied Conan. "But just to make sure…" He fired another round, this one hitting the butt. The spread and lack of long distance force native to all shotguns meant the pellets did little more than hitting and bouncing off, but it still hurt.

"AAAAH!"

"You're sadical."

"Just protecting my family," said Conan. "I sincerely hope never to see him again."

Thomas and the Coffee Pots agreed. A car running Angus over seemed to ensure that he wouldn't be seen around the area for a long time, considering he'd be stuck in the hospital.