Milhouse doesn't live hear anymore Milhouse moves to capital city. Bart without his friend bonds with Lisa and the find a cave full of caveman stuff. And more monopoly related antics.
Plot
Fourth grade are on the school bus on a school trip.
"Children I'm sorry to say but one of your lunches exploded. Who has a little bunny foo foo lunchbox?" Mrs Krabappel asked. She was holding a lunchbox that was leaking some sort of mouldy food from it.
"Uh that'll be me..." said Nelson.
Everyone laughed.
"Shut up! It's not my fault I'm poor!" said Nelson.
Everyone laughed.
"Shut up! My mom got too fat to work at hooters!" said Nelson.
Everyone laughed.
"They won't even let her park the cars!" said Nelson.
Everyone laughed.
"Children don't be cruel. Nelson may be poor but I'm sure he still has the seven dollars for the field trip." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Well uh..." said Nelson. He was dropped off in the middle of town. "Some day Nelson..." he cried staring at his reflection as a rich Nelson.
Rich Nelson laughed at him. "Haw Haw!"
On the bus.
"Now children I know you're all excited to see the Museum of television." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Don't tell us how to feel!" Milhouse yelled being strangely rebellious.
"Bart Simpson sit down and be quiet!" Mrs krabappel scolded Bart.
"Hey I didn't do anything! That was- Milhouse?!" Bart asked.
"Milhouse? What happened to my class coward?" Mrs krabappel asked.
"What do you care Mrs krabappel? Or should I say Crab Apple..." said Milhouse rudely.
"Crab Apple! How could I be so blind?! It works!" said Dolph as the bullies laughed.
"Mrs K It's not a museum if it has the skeletons of The Three Stooges..." Hugo sighed.
"Sorry Hugo but the school board insists we start doing fun school trips with no educational value..." said Mrs K.
Hugo sighed.
...
Meanwhile at the plant.
Homer, Lenny and Carl are riding on barrels of nuclear waste down the halls of the plant.
"Rolling rolling! Rolling rolling rolling! Our barrels are a glowing!" Homer sung.
"They're so hot and glowing." Carl sang.
"We'll die!" Lenny sang.
In Mr Burns's office, Mr Burns can see them on the security cameras. "Smithers! The nuclear safety inspectors are due. And I don't want want them to see Snap, Crackle and Pop down there."
One one of the screens a camera's footage shows Snap, Crackle and Pop the Rice Krispy elves in the plant! They're chatting.
Smither's grimaced exasperated. He adjusted his glasses not sure if what he was seeing was real. Yes there are cereal elves in the plant...
"And Smithers. As for those three idiots." Burns points at a screen showing Homer, Lenny and Carl riding barrels.
"There's a cardboard box in the cupboard somewhere. They could make a fort." said Smithers.
"No... I kept Homer and Larry and Curly in the basement with a bee once and that didn't work..." said Mr Burns. "Just send them home early..."
"Yes sir. What should I do about the cereal mascots?" Smithers asked.
Mr Burns glared at the fourth wall.
"Narrator are you high?!"
Maybe...
Elsewhere in the plant. Oscar and Teddy are exploring the mechanical, synthetic corridors lit by the eerie green glow of radioactive waste splashed everywhere. Oscar's Geiger counter rattled.
"Come on Teddy..." said Oscar. Teddy the living teddy bear was sniffing the floor with his big wet shiny round black nose.
"This better be cool, buddy boy..." said Teddy.
"Look." Oscar pointed to a chihuahua carrying a raw steak.
Teddy freaked out. "WHAT THE?! Eek! dog with meat! DOG WITH MEAT!"
Oscar winced.
"Ay Ay Ay!" Teddy sounded like the robot from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.
Oscar winced.
"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled.
...
Fourth grade were at the museum of television. Bart and Milhouse were watching Isabel Sanford from the Jeffersons talking.
"Hello. I am Isabel Sanford. But you probably know me better as the beloved Weezy from the Jeffersons." said Isabel Sanford. "Now in this museum you won't find a Michaelangelo. But you might see Michael Landon and Beverly D'angelo."
"Oh come on! You could have made a reference to Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" Oscar whined.
Bart winced exasperated.
Bart groaned at Isabel Sanford's puns. "This blows..."
"Let's sneak off!" said Milhouse.
"Wander away from the group?! Man you've been huffing from the Bart bag!" said Bart.
"I've been huffing paint thinner fumes..." said Oscar.
Bart winced concerned.
"Anyway, The Jeffersons, being black people, shouldn't have a black maid. That's racist..." said Oscar.
"So is wearing a cymbal on your head and squinting..." said Bart as Oscar was precisely doing that.
"Me rikey vely much!" said Oscar making fun of the Chinese.
"In England do you people make friends with your maids?" Milhouse asked.
Oscar gave him the stink eye. "No we do not have maids or servants! The very rich can hire people to do their housework for them. Unfortunately I am not rich so I do my own cleaning. And I'm too lazy to do that..."
Elsewhere Hugo was disgusted the TV Museum has the skeletons of the Three Stooges as an exhibit. Moe is poking Curly in the eye sockets.
"Hehehehe... Skinner's Mom calls him Spanky..." Lewis chuckled.
"Why was I cloned from such a blockhead..." said Lewis doppelgänger.
Hugo winced. Yeah they call the the taller Lewis a clone or doppelgänger...
Oscar was looking at the weird anime imported over from the east during the late nineties section.
"Pokemon and Digimon. These two have been rivals since the beginning." said Oscar.
Richard winced.
There were posters of old shows like the Cosbys and the Jeffersons...
...
Homer and his friends were at Moe's drinking.
Barney belched.
"To old man Burns for giving us an early end to the working day to drink!" said Homer. He clinked glasses with Lenny and Carl but all their beer sloshed out like in Disney's Beauty and the Beast's Be our guest. Homer swallowed all the beer and got drunk very quickly. "Ooooooh... some of that went in my lungs..." Homer groaned.
"To Old man Burns giving me two extra hours of service and customers! I might make enough money to night to get dinner for a lady!" said Moe.
"Or pay off the cost of that new animated billboard you built." said Homer.
Outside was a giant Moe billboard saying "you don't have to look at me. You don't have to look at me..."
A lady stopped to look at it.
"Well, he has billboards money..." said the lady.
Moe's jaw fell off.
"Eeeeeew! But he might be perfect for my morbidly obese friend!" said the lady.
Inside. Apu and Manjula arrived in the tavern.
"Attention, American bar devils. It's our anniversary. Free drinks for everyone." said Apu.
"Hooray!" the barflies cheered.
"That's great! I'm honored to drink to Apu and... Apu-lina." said Homer. Lol! Apulina! "Ah. You know, Marge and I have an anniversary coming up."
"I have given Manjula many gifts including a bouquet of flowers, diamond earrings, and we're going to see Paris Hilton in Paris. Texas... On our way to Paris... France." said Apu with his wife he is not married to yet in my canon because it turned out to be a dream and I deported Apu's mom for having primitive views on arranged marriage.
"How about stopping over at Paris, Castrovalva?" Oscar asked. Writing up the episode.
"Paris, Castrovalva is an absolute shit hole!" said Apu.
"Yes. Quite so." said Oscar.
He was picking his nose with his pencil when he realised. "Hey wait a minute! You never married in my fanon! I deported your overbearing mother and her medieval views on arranged marriage! Instead you're um dating... The Squishee Lacy!" Manjula vanished and was replaced by the blonde Squishee lady.
Apu sighed.
...
At the museum of Television.
"Yabba dabba doooo!" Milhouse yelled running about.
"Milhouse why are you acting so crazy? Did your imaginary friend try to kill you again?, said Bart.
"Cooooool!" Oscar cooed. "My imagination never tries to kill me..."
Bart winced at Oscar.
"No Walter's been cool..." said Milhouse.
"Then what is it?" Bart asked.
"It's not easy to say..." said Milhouse.
"Then don't say it!" said Bart.
"But that's how I roll! Look... I don't care what people think about me anymore..." said Milhouse.
"So up until now you did care?! Then why did you wear that tutu to school?!" Bart asked.
"Why did you wear it once?" Milhouse asked.
"I felt rather fruity!" Bart blushed.
Milhouse face palmed.
Oscar laughed.
"Anyway what about all the times I didn't wear a tutu..." Milhouse replied.
"Well uh..." Bart replied but he gawked as several weird characters arrived, namely leprechauns, frogs with silly hats, hotdog men and Okra Winfrey...
"Oh don't mind us, we're just Oscar's imagination. We're here to pummel some sense into him..." said a clown holding a baseball bat.
Elsewhere Troy McClure in the museum was announcing weird spin offs the other citizens of Springfield found themselves trapped in. "Chief Wiggum and Seymour Skinner in a cop buddy duo crime drama, Wiggum P.I.
Wiggum was in a detective or P.I office with Skinner, Wiggum was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. "Okay we would never work together..."
"We've gotta roll, there's drug runners at the marina Chief..." said Skinner.
Itchy and Scratchy ended up in a Reese Witherspoon movie. Probably Sweet Home Alabama.
"Oh gosh this is boring..." Scratchy groaned.
Bart winced as Oscar was being pulverised by figments of his imagination. "Oof! Ah! Not the face!" Bart sighed.
"Let's draw moustaches on the posters..." He said to Milhouse.
...
Eventually Homer was so drunk he thought the love machine was possessed by his dad, Grampa Simpson, again. "Dad stop being the Love-o-matic Grampa!"
So Moe sent him home. "Homer go home..." He sighed.
"But I'm not Moe, Drunk! Gizza kiss..." said Homer extremely drunk.
"Yeah yeah... you're the streets problem now Rummy. If you live through the night you're welcome back tomorrow.
"Okay time to go home and watch some TV..." said Homer sitting down and grabbing a rat. He squeezed it and it squeaked.
"Oh you poor man! You think that rat is a TV remote!" said a posh lady. She gave him money.
"I don't need your charity! I'll dance for my money! (Drunkenly sings to Egyptian music while dancing).
Everyone starts giving Homer money.
Wiggum as Thomas Magnum winced.
The museum of television.
"And now back to Paul Lynde and Willie Tyler." said the TV.
"Mr Lynde I don't think you understand the mechanics of heterosexual sex..." said Willie Tyler.
"Oh I know that circle meets square!" Paul Lynde laughs in a camp tone.
"Milhouse? Milhouse where are you?!" Bart asked.
"Wheeeeeee! I'm riding some guy named Ironside!" said Milhouse cheering as he rode Ironside into various mascots from tv programmes that are things that shouldn't talk but do.
"Ow my banana!" said Detective Chimp.
"Danger danger!" said the robot from Lost in Space.
"Kitt to the rescue!" said Kitt the talking Car from Knightrider.
"They took all my money! Neeeeiiiighh!" A horse said while neighing.
"I'm bored. Let's switch the heads on the Cosby kids..." said Milhouse.
Oscar looked about and then pulled the arms off of the Ironside mannequin. "See you at the party, Richter!" He cheered.
"Wrong Ironside Oz..." Bart groaned. One is a character the other is the actor of Richter from Total Recall.
Plot 2
Homer was still dancing he stopped when a lady paid him.
"I didn't say stop..." said the lady. Homer continues drunkenly dancing and singing Egyptian music.
Graggle gawked at Homer.
Bart and Milhouse walked home after school. "Bart actually the reason I'm acting up is... I'm moving house." Bart gasped as Milhouse showed him his house full of cardboard boxes.
"You're moving?!" Bart gasped.
"To capital city." said Milhouse.
"Capital City! That's too far! You can't go! I forbid it!" said Bart.
"Bart you do realise I was just playing along being your servant..." said Milhouse.
"Whatever your mom earns I'll match it!" said Bart.
"It's too late! Mom already filled her four oh one one!" said Milhouse.
"Nooooooooo!" Bart cried.
Kirk arrived. "Luanne where are you going?"
"Getting a fresh start. Away from you Kirk..." said Luanne.
"Well you can't take Milhouse! I have visitation rights!" Kirk replied.
"You're also supposed to pay child support!" said Luanne.
"I thought you said my money was no good!" said Kirk.
"I said you're no good..." said Luanne. "Milhouse get in the car." Milhouse got in the car.
"This ain't over Luanne! I'll fight you with every lunch hour I get! Speaking of which it's gonna be a tough day handing out flyers..." said Kirk.
"Tell me about it...!" Bart said tearfully.
"Oh! oh geez... If you're the washed up, pathetic guy handing out flyers than what's Ol Gil good for?!" Ol Gil asked.
Bart sobbed.
"Oh now dry your eyes son..." said Ol Gil.
Oscar's room at the Simpsons house.
"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled. "Ay ay ay! Master Zordon!"
Oscar winced.
...
Homer arrived home drunk.
"Hmmmmm! Why are your clothes so dirty? And why do You smell like liquor? Have you been clubbing?!" Marge asked.
Homer pulled out a bouquet of flowers.
"Ooooh! They're beautiful! Ooohhh! I feel a swoon coming on..." Marge swooned.
"No fair! I'm passing out with drunkness... Oooooh!" They fainted on top of each other...
"Well at least they're not fighting..." said Lisa.
She then watched Itchy and Scratchy.
Scratchy went to a sushi restaurant where there was an all you can eat special. However when he asked what was available. Itchy explained he was on the menu!
Scratchy screamed as he was cooked in a wok and chopped up into little pieces. The pieces and his head were served to some Japanese mice who ate him. Then after a nap they ate his head.
Lisa laughed.
Bart was depressed.
"Awww... so you lost your best friend..." Lisa comforted him.
"Who Milhouse? Ha that kid... afraid of the dark. Afraid of light... I don't need him. I have new friends now. Friends that get me!" said Bart in denial. The door bell rang. "There's one of them now!"
"Is it Ralph?" Lisa smirked.
"It's not Ralph..." said Bart. He answered the door. It was Ralph...
"Hi Bart! My nose makes it's own bubblegum!" sad Ralph blowing a snot bubble. Eeeeeew!
"Get in here!" Bart pulled him in.
"Nine... ten... found you!" said Ralph in the kitchen.
"Ralph we're not playing hide and seek... we're playing checkers..." said Bart sat at the kitchen table with a game of checkers set up.
"I don't like you boy mommy!" said Ralph annoyed.
"Oh look at this... A sequel to This Little Wiggy!" said Oscar smirking. "Let's play duck duck goose! And Ralph's the goose!" Oscar laughed evilly because Ralph never got the game and would just say duck repeatedly until Bart yelled at him.
"Honk! Honk! I laid an egg in my pants!" said Ralph.
"Eeeeeeew!" Bart groaned.
...
Marge was doing the laundry when she found Ralph in the closet.
"Hi Bart's mommy! We're playing hide and seek!" said Ralph.
Bart was in his room moping over Milhouse.
"Bart how many times must I tell you not to abandon Ralph in the clothes closet..." said Marge. She saw he was depressed. "Look I know you really miss Milhouse. I can get you a flight to capital city to see him if you want." said Marge bringing Ralph in.
"Thanks Mom..." said Bart.
Ralph dropped his popsicle in Bart's toy box again. "Oops my popsicle!" He went in the box but toys stuck to him. He had Bart's Krusty doll stuck to his head.
Bart groaned.
"Mom do I have to play with Ralph? Can't I just play with Grandma..." said Bart.
Grandma Mona was asleep in the green armchair snoring.
"Hmmmmmm. Bart you were the one that invited him over..." said Marge.
"Fine... Ralph play with Hugo..." said Bart.
"No! Do not let him touch my delicate science equipment!" Hugo yelled.
Bart snickers.
Meanwhile Mona sobered Homer up. She gave him a glass of water.
"Man my head hurts..." said Homer.
"So... it's your marriage anniversary coming up..." said Mona.
"It is?!" Homer gasped. "Awwww... I don't have a gift..."
"Uh you just gave Marge some flowers..." said Mona.
"Those were my eating flowers!" Homer cried. He ran off to the lounge where Marge was watering her new flowers.
"Sorry honey these are my eating flowers! I'll get you a diamond ring or something!" Homer said quickly while snatching the flowers and heading for the downstairs bathroom.
Marge sighed.
Homer was in the toilet eating the flowers. "Mmmmm! (Eating sounds) Oh yeah!" He ate each flower while moaning in delight.
Hugo hearing him from the bathroom winced.
"Mmmm.. secret shame..." said Homer from the downstairs bathroom.
...
Later he went begging again.
He met a hobo he was familiar with. "Hey I know you! We were in the same police line up!" said Homer.
"Yeah... Hey you know number two and four are an item now." said the Hobo.
"You don't have to tell me... I was number three..." said Homer. "So, any tips for a newbie?"
"There are six kinds of drunk hobo. Bad singer. Bad dancer. Swearing hobo. Religious zealot. Animal hoarder and crazy guy. I'd say you're crazy guy..." said the hobo.
Homer screamed madly about coke and Pepsi and someone threw money at him and drove away in fright.
"Coke and Pepsi are the same thing!" Homer yelled.
"Wow he's good crazy!" said the hobo.
"Everything is controlled by lizard people!" Homer yelled. People gave him money to shut up.
Homer went to Cosingtons. The Yeeeeees Guy was smelling a flower. Then he saw Homer filthy.
"Oh no. Oh no! Oh no!" He screamed. Homer flashed some money. "Oh yeah!" said Yeeeees Guy joyfully.
Under the overpass. "That Homer's a nice guy..." said the hobo.
"Devil dog! You're a devil dog!" a lady hobo yelled.
"Hey you're a cute woman.." said Homer's hobo friend from a previous police line up.
The lady hobo blushed and was flattered.
The hobo dressed as Santa swore and hurled his bottle of Hooch.
Oscar's room. "Spoot-head..." said Teddy in Dagget's voice.
"Okay we get it... You're voiced by Richard Horvitz..." Oscar groaned.
"Now I have to roomy in a dam with Salem the talking cat from Sabrina..." said Teddy.
"Hehehehe... Norb..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart shoved Ralph in his room. "He's your playmate now."
"The Leprechaun doesn't like you!" said Ralph as Bart left.
Oscar smirked. The two um "Special" kids barely said any before Teddy shrank them to the size of dolls and grabbed them.
Ralph winced as the giant living teddy bear sniffed him with his big wet shiny nose.
...
Bart was at an airport dressed up smart with his spikes combed down.
"Mom why am I dressed up to see Milhouse..." said Bart.
"You want to look nice for Milhouse don't you?" Marge replied.
"Mom it's just Milhouse. I don't normally dress up for him."
Marge sighed and put his spikes back up again.
"I can't believe I'm taking a plane to see Milhouse." said Bart.
"I can't believe this is not butter..." said Oscar.
In Capital City.
Bart arrived at Milhouse's apartment.
"Wassssssuuuuppp!" Milhouse did the Budweiser wassup. He had bleached his hair white and spiked it into Bart spikes and was wearing a jogging costume.
"Milhouse, don't ever do that again..." said Bart. "What did you do to yourself?!"
"It's my new look, gave it some new flava! Gotta stay fresh." said Milhouse.
Bart winced.
"What up B?" said Milhouse.
"Milhouse don't. This isn't you..." Bart groaned.
There was a knock at the door. Milhouse answered it to some gangsta boys.
"What up Milhouse!" said a boy.
"Milhouse? Are these your friends?!" said Bart.
"Yeah. Now let me give you a wedgie!" sId Milhouse.
"No!" Bart yelled.
"Please! I'll be gentle..." said Milhouse.
"Fine..." said Bart.
"Wedgie!" Milhouse gave him a wedgie. A very painful wedgie..."
Milhouse's friends laughed. Then they teased Bart with a song. "Springfield baby! Springfield baby!"
"Springfield baby in a diaper! Poked out his eye with a windshield wiper!"
"Springfield baby! Springfield baby!"
"Wow! And I thought Shelbyville hated us..." said Bart.
...
At Evergreen Terrace Mona was having tea with Ned's parents.
"Now I've never really been a beatnik, I was more of a hippy, or flower child we prefer to be called. But I think we can all agree up with liberalism and down with rules and the establishment!" said Mona.
"You said it Mrs S! That's why we're freaky beatniks man?" said Ned's dad clicking his fingers.
Ned growled annoyed.
"Right that's it! This mad hatter tea party is over!" He ordered his parents and Mona to leave.
Blitzo's voice actor who isn't Blitzo yet suddenly was a foppish gentleman from the 18th century. "Oh dear! I seem to have spotted a cunt! good day!"
Meanwhile at Home Bart had got back from Capital City and was watching old videos of himself and Milhouse, one was about them as toddlers prancing Homer. They set up a Hotwheels track and raced a tiny toy car down it. The car flew into Homer's mouth and he swallowed it. He choked and coughed up the car.
Baby Bart and Milhouse giggled.
Bart cried.
"Hmmmmm! Bart why don't you play outside..." said Marge.
"Outside? That's where Milhouse and I used to play." said Bart.
"Lisa could do with help washing the car." said Marge.
"You got her washing the car?!" Bart gasped.
"Unlike you I like doing errands for mom. Even if it's a waste of my genius brain..." said Lisa.
"Or you could play in the attic with Hugo." said Marge.
Hugo was in the attic laughing maniacally.
"No absolutely no way! I'll help out Lisa." said Bart.
Bart went outside.
"Hey mouldy locks. Mom says I'm supposed to help you clean the car." said Bart.
"Fine but heads up!" Lisa squirted the hose at his groin. "Ha! You look like you wet yourself!"
"That's not funny! Peeing your pants is a serious problem!" said Grampa with a wet patch on his trouser crotch. Eeeeeeew!
"Eeeeeeew! Gramps..." Bart groaned. Bart then started play fighting with Lisa with the bucket and sponge.
"I'm gonna hit you so hard it'll kill your whole family!" Bart got competitive.
"Bart we're in the same family..." said Lisa.
"Shut up..." Bart groaned chasing her around the car trying to soak her.
Plot 3
Marge was watching them play.
Hours later they were still playing and Bart accidentally soaked Ned Flanders.
Homer was reading the newspaper wearing his half moon glasses.
"Homer what are you doing at the freeway after work.
"I won't lie to you Marge..." Homer replied. He just sat there in silence.
"Hmmmmm... well at least explain this sign..." said Marge holding a sign that read "Cops took my baby!"
Homer chuckled. "Everything can all be explained with these..." He had a small jewellery box. Inside were diamond earrings.
"Gasp! Are those diamond dell?"
"Nope!"
"Dimodium?"
"Nope."
"Diamodilliom?"
"Nope. Just diamond." said Homer.
"I finally have something to put in the wall safe!" said Marge. Behind the boat painting was a safe. She opened it. "Why is there a hostess Twinkie in here..."
"I heard if you age them for ten years they turn to liquor..." said Homer taking the Twinkie.
Outside.
Marge was at her bedroom window.
"Kids go out and ride your bikes for a while." said Marge in her night wear.
"Yeah you heard your mother..." said Homer drinking a Twinkie...
"They're clearly up to something..." said Lisa.
"Yeah probably being controlled by the mole people again!" said Bart obsessed with saying Mole people.
"Bart stop that..." said Lisa as they got on their bikes and rode off somewhere.
They arrived in the forest.
"I still don't get why Milhouse needed to borrow my bike." said Lisa.
"He didn't bring his own..." said Bart.
...
They came to a ditch.
"We can't jump this ditch!" said Lisa.
"Sure we can! But I'll go first." said Bart.
"Bart you couldn't even make it that time you took up ballet and we're running from Jimbo." said Lisa.
"Fine... we'll go around..." said Bart.
They went around and found a hidden cave entrance.
"Look we can go inside!" said Lisa. They went in the cave.
"Wow! I feel like Howard Carter discovering the tomb of Tutankhamen." said Lisa.
"Or Steve Martin discovering King Tut's song!" said Oscar.
Bart and Lisa grimaced exasperated.
"Your dad told me that random bit of trivia." said Oscar.
"Or when I discovered the school xerox code. Four seven seven. Just saying that makes my butt feel warm." sad Bart.
They came to a small chamber full of remains of an ancient civilisation.
"Look! Arrow heads!" said Bart.
"Pictograms! This is a Native American burial chamber!" said Lisa.
"Look he's picking his nose!" said Bart playing with a skeleton.
Lisa giggled. "We shouldn't tell anyone about this place. It'll be our little secret!"
"Sure! This area of Springfield forest is known for small caves and grottoes. Milhouse and I found our own little place once..." said Bart.
"Is that where you got your fireworks from..." Lisa sighed.
"No it's not where I got my fireworks from..." said Bart.
"Hmmmmm..." Lisa didn't believe him. "Anyway let's shake on it."
"Okay." Bart offered their skeleton arm to shake with it was crawling with spiders. Lisa shivered frightened.
"Psyche!" Bart giggled and scratched his back with the arm. Spiders crawled all over him.
"You've got spiders in your hair!" Lisa smirked.
"That's what you call commitment to a bit." said Bart with spiders crawling on him.
"I'd be careful Bart! Some of those could be venomous!" said Lisa.
"And that's why this scene will get censored. Because we're more likely to have venomous spiders on our door step than the British. Just like Australia banned that episode of Peppa Pig..." Bart rambled on.
...
Homer sung Mr Bojangles to get money.
"(Homer sings a mangled version of Mr Bojangles.)"
The hobos got fed up with him for stealing their turf and the lady hobo called Homer's friend a devil dog.
"He's stealing our begging money!"
"You're a devil dog! A devil dog!" yelled the lady hobo.
"Wanna make out in the bushes?" asked the hobo that advised Homer.
"No one wants to die alone..." said the lady hobo.
...
Bart and Lisa were playing with some arrow heads and reading up on how old they were.
"The artefacts are from a tribe that worshipped turtles, badgers, alligators and other such animals." said Lisa.
"Thank goodness we came to our senses and worshipped a carpenter two thousand years ago." said Bart.
Lisa got a phone call from Janey. Based on the conversation a celebrity broke down outside her house. However Lisa wanted to stay at home with Bart.
The doorbell rang.
Bart answered the door to Nelson holding a gun.
"Bart. I 'borrowed' my uncles pellet gun. Wanna shoot Apu?" said Nelson.
"Well that does seem rather fun- No! What the heck man! I'd never want to do that! You've got the wrong kid Nelson... I'm sure Oscar will enjoy shooting innocent people more!" Bart ranted and pushed Oscar outside and shut the door on them.
"He can be really weird sometimes..." said Oscar.
They went off to shoot things.
"So where were you after you were thrown off the bus..." Oscar asked.
"Eh just bummed around town... pummelled a dork..." said Nelson.
...
"Let's play monopoly." said Bart to Lisa.
"Okay but Maggie can't play because she'll try to eat the tiny green houses again." said Lisa.
Maggie who was playing in the Rumpus room had a sixth sense that monopoly was being played and went off stumbling about to the lounge.
"Oooooooh!" Marge sighed annoyed.
...
Outside Nelson and Oscar went shooting.
Nelson shot a can off of a fence with his uncle's pellet gun. "Wanna try?" Nelson asked handing Oscar the pellet gun.
"Oh thanks but I brought my own firearm." Oscar pulled out a black handgun and fired off several rounds at the cans. Knocking them off the fence.
Nelson looked alarmed and frightened.
"You really, really scare me." He gulped.
Suddenly they heard Ralph singing Polly put the kettle on.
"(Ralph singing nursery rhymes)".
"Hi Ralph." said Oscar.
"Hey doofus." said Nelson rudely.
An ice cream van was ringing.
"Ice cream!" They all cheered.
They bought ice creams.
Ralph splattered his cone onto his forehead. "I'm a unitard!" Hehehehe!
A Brony, a boy that likes My Little Pony cried. He had several of the ponies from the cartoon and was playing with the tiny plastic ponies.
"Ralph! That was not funny!" Oscar snapped.
...
The hobos got fed up with Homer stealing all their time they could be grifting as everyone was giving Homer money.
So they went to 7 42 Evergreen Terrace and told Marge where her husband was.
Homer was singing old songs like Beegees while collecting money.
"Ahhh aaaaah! Ah! Stayin alive! Stayin alive!"
"Homer J Simpson!" Marge yelled.
Homer screamed.
"Are you grifting?!" Marge gasped.
"Well I grifted you those diamond earrings." said Homer ashamed.
"And they're beautiful sweetie. But I don't want you grifting. Remember when you got caught by a con artist actor posing as an FBI agent, put on a show trial and Willie shot Principal Skinner?" Marge explained kissing him.
"Okay, no more grifting." said Homer.
...
Bart and Lisa were having a water fight. Lisa squirted Bart in his shorts so it looked like he wet himself.
"Ha! You wet yourself!" She laughed.
"That's not funny! Peeing your pants is a serious problem!" said Grampa with a wet patch on his trouser crotch. Eeeeeeew!
"Eeeeeew! Grampa..." Bart moaned.
"Yeah that is not funny Lisa!" came Oscar's voice.
"Defecatingly not!" Ralph said frowning. We pan over to Ralph and Oscar with wet patches on their crotches.
"Eeeeeeew! Triple Eeeeeew!" Bart groaned.
Bart and Lisa played together at school too.
"I can't believe they're hanging out." Miss Hoover was watching them.
"Ha! Maybe she'll be a good influence on him." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Or maybe he'll corrupt her." said Skinner concerned.
"It won't last." said Groundskeeper Willie. "Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!"
"You Scots sure are a contentious people." said Skinner.
"You just made an enemy for life!" Willie growled.
...
At Wiggum's house.
"Thanks for letting us know Ralphie had another toilet accident Marge. Sarah's gonna change his pants and he'll be able to get back to playing with Bart." said Chief Wiggum on his doorstep. "Um does Oscar have any spare underwear?"
"Uh no, he's far more behind and more prone to accidents than Ralph. So we just keep him in diapers." said Marge.
Oscar pulled up the front hem of his diaper. It had Happy Little Elves printed on it.
At the Simpsons.
Bart was in the lounge playing Go Fish with Ralph.
"Got any threes?" Bart asked.
[Ralph is holding three threes] "Go fish."
"See, here's the problem, Ralph. You have several threes." Bart sighed. Showing Ralph his own hand of cards.
"Go fish." said Ralph.
Bart groaned.
...
At the Power Plant Mr Burns and Smithers had to deal with an infestation of cereal and food mascots. Because that's extremely funny.
"Get away from that!" Mr Burns yelled at Snap, Crackle and Pop who were playing with a console that managed the town's electricity and did certain things to the plant such as shutting down the reactor if it was going into meltdown etc.
Evergreen Terrace.
Bullies torment Oscar.
"Springfield baby! Springfield baby!"
"Springfield baby in a diaper, poked his eye with a windshield wiper. Springfield baby!"
Oscar cried and ran inside.
"Ooooh! Leave him alone you ghouls!" Marge scolded the bullies.
Then later on the bullies got sent to the shadow realm by Dark Oscar.
Dark Oscar laughed maniacally as he banished them to the shadow realm.
In the Simpsons house.
"Bart, I cracked the code of the pictograph. It says there's a curse on the mound. Of course I don't believe it..." (SCREAMS) Lisa screamed because... Milhouse was back! Dun dun dun!
"Hi, Lisa. I brought you the Cap City version of Monopoly. Baltic Avenue is now Wayne Street." said Milhouse holding a box of a monopoly spin off.
"Where Batman lives..." said Oscar.
"No Oz... not where Batman lives..." Bart groaned.
"I thought your mom took you away forever." Lisa asked Milhouse.
"I got an immediate custody order. And Robin Williams helped." said Kirk.
"Hoho! And Oscar persuaded the judge not to listen to my Ms Doubtfire Wife's lies paining me as some sort of monster just for messing up the house for my kid's birthday party! So I have custody of them and she's with Pierce Brosnan!" said Robin Williams.
Sally Fields screamed and foamed at the mouth as psychiatric wards wheeled her away in a Hannibal Lecter gurney.
Plot 4
Oscar and Ralph went to the spooky forest from This Little Wiggie. Oscar was wearing just a diaper. Which crinkled as he walked.
"This place is spooky." said Ralph.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. Except trees that grab you. Hyeeeeeerk!" said Oscar. A wooden branch like arm yanked him off his feet by grabbing the back of his diaper.
Ralph yelped as the branch arms of the sentient trees grabbed him too. He was in mid air being held by wooden bony arms of the evil trees by his wrists and ankles. He grunted as he struggled.
Then the evil tree arms disrobed him and made him wear a diaper. Ralph grimaced.
The tree branch arms of the evil trees held Ralph against a tree trunk with several knotholes. Green slimy sap poured out engulfing his hands and feet, he struggled,
Oscar got glued to a tree with green slime engulfing his hands and feet too.
Then cartoon grey squirrels with big wet shiny black noses sniffed their diapers. Oscar winced.
Soon Oscar wet himself.
"Goo!" He gurgled as he wet and messed his diaper.
The cartoon squirrels kept sniffing him and Ralph.
"Enough!" Cousin Hank yelled.
Elsewhere.
The Yes guy or the Yeeeeeees guy was inside Cosington's jewellery store smelling a flower and sighing.
A filthy Homer cane in.
"Oh no! oh no! Oh no!" He cried.
"Oh yeah!" said Kool Aid Guy smashing through the wall.
Homer and Yes guy stared at him.
He left awkwardly.
...
With Milhouse back. Bart immediatly started playing with him again. and stopped playing with Lisa. understandibky she was upset by this. well wouldn't you?
"What happened to your new friends?" Bart asked Milhouse.
"Oh those Cap City kids don't think I'm cool any more. A robber got in and I wet the bed or he wet the bed. Then he folded up the couch bed while I was in it and he stole away in tbe night." said Milhouse.
"Oh Milhouse how could you?!" Lisa whined. She was losing her concept of sense because she wanted to keep her new bond of friendship with her older brother.
"Well my mom wanted to see what Capt. City was all about. And to get away from Dad... But... well he got a joint custody order thanks to Robin Williams as Daniel from Ms Doubtfire, but you already knew that..." said Milhouse.
Lisa growled annoyed.
Luanne wheeled in the chocolate puddings. According to Homer clone guy.
"Oh hell no!" Bart yelled.
Lisa went upstairs and sobbed.
"Bart I think you upset her..." said Milhouse.
...
In the haunted forest.
Oscar and Ralph wearing diapers and glued to a tree each by gooey slime winced as cartoon squirrels with big wet shiny black noses sniffed their diapers.
"Ugh! Oscar... I don't like this!" Ralph whined.
"Nnnnnnngh! Unfortunately we're not going anywhere... Nnnnngh!" Oscar grunted as he struggled.
A squirrel crawled on Oscar and smooshed it's big wet shiny black nose into his face. Oscar groaned as his nose felt slimy.
The cartoon squirrels sniffed his diaper some more. Then the evil tree changed his diaper.
Eventually they got free.
However they weren't looking where they were going and...
"Um Oscar... we're sinking!" Ralph whined as they were sinking in muddy quicksand.
"Oh baby!" Oscar was aroused.
Ralph winced.