The office Anakin had chosen was cramped, with a too-small desk situated opposite a vastly oversized fireplace. Cailee had told him that this side of the palace used to be where the public state rooms and most luxurious guest suites were located, until a fire nearly a century ago had left little more than the exterior shell of the building intact. The empress at that time had taken the opportunity to have new, modern state rooms and apartments built in the newer section of the palace, and the burnt interior in the old wing had been rebuilt as less distinguished guest rooms, servants' quarters, and offices, the latter of which had for the most part fallen into disuse over the last ten decades.

There had been some quirks inherent in building new rooms inside the existing stone structure of the palace, including the fact that some of the offices, including the one Anakin had chosen, did not have windows.

Cailee had not been pleased.

Anakin had summarily ignored her complaints.

The princess seemed to have come around to his way of thinking, though, or to have at least accepted it. She said that the dark room, lit primarily by a few lamps they had scavenged from neighboring offices, made him look like some sort of jungle cat waiting to pounce on the poor, innocent charitable workers who had come to beg her for money. He wouldn't have been sure that was a compliment if not for his ability to feel her desire through the Force (or, rather, his inability to stop feeling it).

He felt that familiar spike of mingled lust, embarrassment, and frustration when she caught sight of him stepping back through the door, his erstwhile Padawan trailing behind him. Fortunately, that sort of perception had never been Ahsoka's strong suit. That would've been awkward.

"Princess Cailee," he said, shooting her an amused quirk of his lips that wasn't quite a full smile, "meet Ahsoka Tano, my apprentice."

Calling her his apprentice had slipped out without him thinking about it. He could feel the immediate sense of happiness and pride that Snips felt at hearing him refer to her that way, which was quickly followed by sadness and regret. She didn't comment or correct him, though, only came to a stop by his side and offered a little bow to the princess.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty."

Cailee stood gracefully from her chair, smoothing her simple blue skirt as she went.

"It's 'your highness,' actually. 'Your majesty' is only used to address the empress." She smiled and reached across the desk to offer Ahsoka her hand. "Such silly rules, I know. Please, call me Cailee, at least when we are alone; any friend of Anakin's is a friend of mine."

Anakin had never heard anybody else call her by name, to her face, except for the empress and the one cousin (whatever her name was) with whom Cailee had seemed to spend a lot of her time before Anakin had restricted her social interactions. And even the people who spoke to or about Cailee less formally (usually about her, and usually when she wasn't present) always put the title "Princess" in front. He had certainly never seen her invite anyone except himself to call her by her name, and the circumstances of that agreement had been anything but ordinary.

If this was for his benefit, because she knew how much Ahsoka meant to him, then he was grateful.

"Well, Snips, you must make a better first impression than I do. It was all 'General Skywalker' this and 'Your Highness' that when she met me," he declared lightly and offered the princess a wink, enjoying the way it caused a light dusting of pink to suffuse her pale cheeks but pretending like he hadn't noticed the longing that accompanied it. "You'll have to tell Threepio all about it."

"Who is Threepio?" asked the princess, at the same time Ahsoka asked, "Senator Amidala's droid? Why?"

Anakin shook his head ruefully and puffed out a frustrated breath. He really must be off his game if he hadn't realized the joke wouldn't land for either one of them. This whole lack of sleep thing could make him lose his temper and his control. Fine. He could deal with that. But his impeccable comedic timing? Something had to be done to fix him.

"He was Senator Amidala's protocol droid," he directed first towards Cailee, then turned to look at his apprentice. Former apprentice. "I built Threepio when I was a child. Did I never tell you that?" At the shake of her head, he said, "Oh. Well… I did. He stayed on Tatooine when I left to join the Jedi, but I got him back shortly before the Battle of Geonosis. The first one. I gave him to Padmé since she had more use for a protocol droid than I did, but before I left for Arkanis he told me that he wanted to come with me. He's going to be my aide-de-camp on the Integrity."

It would have been obvious from the express on Ahsoka's face that she had questions, even if he hadn't been able to feel the coming onslaught through the Force. However, before she could get out even a syllable of her inquisition, the princess beat her to it.

"You know Padmé Amidala?"

She sounded so incredulous about it that Anakin's first instinct was to feel insulted, but at the same time she sounded so thrilled that it made his stomach churn. What were the odds that the Princess of the Regency Worlds, whom he had been tasked to spend his every waking moment with, was a fan of his wife?

"Er—yeah. We're…" What were they? Married? Not anymore, or at least only legally. Lovers? He wished, if only because a good hard fuck would probably go a long way towards alleviating his stress. Friends? He didn't think that he still had the right to call himself her friend, since she had made it very clear that she didn't know him, that their relationship was built on nothing but lies, and that he made her feel unsafe. Finally, he settled on, "… close."

His traitorous Padawan sounded like she might choke on the snort she tried to suppress. Anakin valiantly ignored her.

Cailee's bright blue eyes sparked with excitement and curiosity, and she looked like she was on the verge of bouncing in place.

"Really?! What's she like?"

Anakin swallowed, flummoxed. "Uh… She's very… senatorial?"

Gods, he couldn't have this conversation. Padmé was everything wonderful and beautiful and bright and right in the universe. She was idealistic and brave and good, and his heart ached to have lost her. She was passionate and loving and bold. His body ached thinking about sinking into her sweet, tight heat, and the feeling of her fingers and lips caressing him, and the sounds of her pleasure and her love in his ear. But she was also capable of being prideful and condescending and dismissive, and when push came to shove, she didn't respect Anakin or seem to think that he was her equal. More than anything, his soul ached with the knowledge that he had never been good enough for her.

Ahsoka's confusion figuratively slapped him in the face, and when he looked at her, she was staring at him with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a frown on her face.

When it became clear that he was not going to say more, Ahsoka turned to the princess herself and explained, "Senator Amidala is pretty much the same in private as you see in the holos. She's the nicest person, and she cares so much about the people and the Republic."

"Well, her policies are far too idealistic for my tastes, even if she really does believe what she's preaching," Cailee said with a little laugh. "But she is a true fashion icon for all of us here in our little backwater."

There was a brief silence, then, as Snips turned again to look at Anakin expectantly. Her annoyance and anticipation were pressing in on him, as if it were his duty to be offended on Padmé's behalf and to defend her honor. And he normally would have, against milder criticisms than that, even if he secretly agreed, so he couldn't blame his (former) apprentice for expecting it.

But he couldn't make himself speak. If he tried, he was likely to blurt out the entire story or just start crying inconsolably.

Finally, her voice made of ice, Ahsoka said, "I don't think that a former queen who defended her planet against invasion, or a senator who has been closely involved in several operations during the war, deserves to be boiled down to just a fashion icon. Especially not by someone who hasn't done anything at all."

Cailee looked utterly stunned by the turn of the conversation, but her shock quickly turned to anger. Anakin thought that most anybody would have been upset, but he could well imagine how much worse the princess's reaction would be than a normal person's. He imagined that nobody had ever spoken to her that way. Except, perhaps, for Anakin himself, but only ever when her safety was at risk, and he had always apologized or made a joke afterwards or done something to soften the blow of his words. Before Cailee could respond and undoubtedly make the situation devolve even further, Anakin took a step forward to put his body between the two girls.

"Ahsoka!" he admonished harshly. "Padmé does not need you to defend her just because someone disagrees with her on policy. And trust me when I say that no one puts as much time and effort into her appearance as Padmé does unless she wants to be known for it."

"But—!" cried Snips.

Anakin cut off whatever she was going to say with a hard glare that brought her up short. Then Anakin turned his attention back to the princess, softening his expression.

"Cailee, please forgive my Padawan. Senator Amidala is a close personal friend of hers, and they have survived some pretty dangerous situations together. And, apparently, my lessons about thinking before she speaks didn't stick."

Ahsoka's indignation and hurt were palpable, as was Cailee's reluctance to let the incident go. However, Snips remained quiet behind him, evidently duly chastised by his public reprimand, and after several seconds the princess dipped her head in acknowledgement.

"Well, I can't feign surprise that your lessons in diplomacy have failed," Cailee said, tone utterly straight but a glimmer of laughter dancing in her eyes. "I seem to recall you asking me if I have a—How did you put it? Oh—a 'fucking death wish'. And I believe you actually interrupted and openly argued with the Empress of the Regency Worlds the day before yesterday."

Her blue eyes met his, and she tilted her head slightly as if to convey a message, which he understood at once, not least because he could literally read her mind if he tried and she was deliberately projecting her thoughts at him. Cailee had no intention of being the bigger person if it were up to her, but she was letting this one go for him. Because Ahsoka was his apprentice. Because he had asked her to forgive and forget.

Anakin ran his hand through his hair and down his face, suddenly feeling even more exhausted than he had before (and that was really saying something). He supposed it had been too much to ask that Ahsoka and Cailee would hit it off right away. And it was sort of his fault for introducing the topic of his wife in the first place. He wouldn't make that mistake again, and not only because it almost made him have a breakdown in the middle of the princess's office.

"Well, now that the introductions are out of the way, maybe we can actually talk about why Ahsoka is here."

He tried to sound upbeat, but he knew it fell flat.

At least he planned to send Ahsoka out to investigate, rather than to ask her to protect Cailee, so they wouldn't be spending a lot of time together.

Cailee had rarely felt so disappointed about how an introduction had gone. She had so wanted to like Ahsoka, and for the girl to like her in return.

And Cailee did like her, or had, before things had fallen apart. How could she not like someone who cared so much for Anakin? He had not closed the office door behind him when he had run out, and she had been able to hear their greeting and the concern the togruta girl expressed for him. Cailee had not understood most of what he had said about the Force (or, really, any of it), but even if she didn't understand the problem, Ahsoka's affection for Anakin and his for her had been obvious.

She also did not understand exactly what had gone wrong when they had been discussing Padmé Amidala, but she was definitely still seething over what Ahsoka had said to her. What, exactly, did Ashoka expect Cailee to do? Abdicate her title and her duties to her own people, to become a freedom fighter for a cause she didn't even believe in? For a utopian ideal of the galaxy that, in her opinion, had never worked in practice and never could?

One thing that had been clear was how distressed Anakin had been by the entire conversation. Cailee had never seen him struggle so much to find words or hesitate so long to make his opinion known. His demeanor and the clear desperation in his eyes had made it impossible for her to deny his request that she not respond to Ahsoka's words, that she let it go.

It also made it impossible for her to resist the urge to listen to his conversation with his friend, after their meeting had concluded and Ahsoka had demanded, "Skyguy, can I talk to you? Alone?"

So here she was, the Crown Princess of the Regency Worlds, Duchess of Trulalis, Countess of Scaparus, and various other titles, barefoot (her heels would have made too much noise on the hardwood floors) with her ear pressed against the seam of the door, eavesdropping.

"I don't understand," came Ahsoka's voice, certainly sounding full of the confusion she professed. "You're acting… weird."

Anakin sighed heavily. "I'm fine, Snips."

"You're not," she denied matter-of-factly. "You're a mess. And I still say you should let Obi-Wan help you. But you know that isn't what I meant."

"Not everyone has to agree with Padmé about everything. You were out of line."

Neither of them spoke for several seconds, and Cailee expected that Ahsoka was gearing herself up for a fiery retort. But it never came.

Instead, she asked, "But you understand why it's strange for you to say that, right?"

"Snips…"

"I just want to understand what's going on with you."

"Nothing is going on!" protested Anakin.

Cailee could clearly hear the frustration and, dare she say, fear in his voice, which did little to deter his apprentice. If anything, it seemed to spur her on.

"Yes, it is!" she insisted, her volume rising. "Why are you even here? You don't just let the 501st get put under the command of someone else, or just let other people do maintenance on your ship without you there to supervise, unless you're literally unconscious. And even then I think you'd wake from a coma if anyone stripped a bolt or put a screw wrong. And not for some, some… babysitting assignment! You don't do babysitting assignments! You're too valuable on the front lines!"

"Ahsoka…"

But she was not finished. "And clearly something is going on between you and the Order. Don't get me wrong, I love that you called me—but why did you need to? Why has the Council sent two Masters here to see you when we both know that the Jedi are spread thin as it is? That's not even to mention whatever this is about Padmé, and don't even get me started on—"

"We broke up!" Anakin interrupted her, sounding like he was absolutely at the end of his rope.

"You— What?"

"Padmé and I broke up," came the tired, resigned reply. "Well, she broke up with me."

Cailee's heart was pounding so hard that she could hear the blood whooshing heavily in her ears. It had never once crossed her mind that Anakin might be in a relationship, or at least recently out of a relationship. In hindsight, that had been rather silly on her part. They had been living in a protective cocoon comprised solely of the two of them, and that had lulled her into a false belief that he had been paying attention to her because he returned her interest. The reality was that he was there to protect her; she was just a job to him, someone he had to babysit, as Ahsoka had so helpfully pointed out. He had no reason to share details about his personal life with her, but his silence on the subject didn't mean that there was nothing to share.

And why wouldn't there be something to share? A man like Anakin would never stay single for long unless by choice. Case in point: Both the crown princess of the Regency Worlds and the former queen and current senator of Naboo were interested in him.

Apparently, his Pada-whatever had been just as in the dark as Cailee had been about his love life, which selfishly, spitefully, made her feel just the tiniest bit better.

"What?" Ahsoka repeated incredulously. "Master, what? You were together? Like… romantically?"

"Yes, we were"—Anakin hesitated there, for a split second, which Cailee probably wouldn't have caught if she had not been so motivated to hang on his every word.—"together."

She wondered if Ahsoka had noticed. More importantly, she wondered what else he had been thinking of saying instead of what he actually had.

Ahsoka's tone was shaky, almost frightened. "But it's against the Jedi Code! You're not allowed to—How long? Does anyone know?"

"We got together right at the start of the Clone Wars," he replied, so softly that Cailee almost could not hear him. "Rex knows, and Padmé's security and handmaidens. Obviously Artoo and Threepio. Other people probably have suspicions, but we haven't told them."

"Why didn't you—?"

"Tell you?" Anakin filled in before Ahsoka could finish her question. "I couldn't have expected you to keep my secret from the Council, from Obi-wan. That would have been too much pressure for any master to put on his Padawan. It wouldn't have been fair of me to tell you."

Were Jedi not allowed to date? Was it a vow of celibacy thing? Cailee wasn't sure. She didn't know a whole lot about Jedi, other than that they had strange powers, stole children from their families as infants, and were leaders in the war.

She knew one thing for sure: Anakin Skywalker being celibate would be a profound tragedy. An absolute waste.

Even if Cailee was never with him, she could declare that much on behalf of entire population of the universe who were attracted to human males.

And who was she kidding? She would never be with him. She was expected to marry some lord or other for political or financial gain and to diligently guard her virginity until then as part of his prize for marrying her. As if the crown and the empire, not to mention her personality and companionship and even her beauty, weren't enough of a prize already.

"Well," began Ahsoka, after a long pause, "I'm not in the Order anymore. And it sounds like you need to talk about it."

Anakin let out a strained laugh that sounded more pained than amused. "I don't need to talk about it, Snips. I was never good enough for her or worth the trouble of keeping me a secret, and she finally realized it. That's all. There's nothing to talk about."

"Master, no!" the other girl objected, as Cailee wished she could do. "Padmé is a wonderful person, but that doesn't mean she's better than you. You're the strongest person I know, and the bravest, and you're so caring, even more than her sometimes."

Cailee had only know him for a short time, but she had no doubt that was all true.

How could this man be at once so confident yet so full of self-loathing?

He must have pulled a face or made some sound that Cailee couldn't hear, because Ahsoka seemed to be growing ever more upset.

"I'm not just saying it! It's true. Did she say that you weren't worth it?" Ahsoka demanded to know.

Cailee felt a bubble of rage beginning to form in her gut at the thought. Surely no one, not even the great Senator Amidala, would have said something like that to him? Not that one should ever say such a thing to anyone, but it was difficult for Cailee not to mentally run down a list of reasons why no one should especially say so to Anakin.

"Because if she said something like that to you," continued his apprentice, who sounded like she was well on the way to working herself into a high dudgeon on Anakin's behalf, "then she was lying her ass off."

"Ahsoka!" he exclaimed, sounding somewhat scandalized.

"Well, it's true! Don't take this the wrong way, because you're human and also sort of like my father or my brother or something, but you are objectively hot, super smart, and a total badass. Practically all the other Padawans are jealous of me because they either have a crush on you or hero worship you. And you've saved Padmé's life lots of times, which all makes total sense, now that I think about it in retrospect, and is totally swoon-worthy. Whatever reason she broke up with you, it wasn't because you're not good enough for her, no matter what she may have said."

All Cailee could hear at first was Anakin's breathing, which was heavy and sounded suspiciously wet, and then the creak of his leather armor and a rustling of fabric that indicated they may have been hugging again.

"You're a good friend, Ahsoka," he told her, voice still painfully quiet. "Padmé didn't say anything to me that isn't true. I lost control, and I scared her, and it made her realize that I'm no good for her and that she deserves more than being a secret. I begged Master Yoda to give me an assignment—any assignment—while the Integrity is in dry dock, because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together in front of the other Jedi at the Temple."

"Well, that whole plan to stay off the Council's radar sure worked out well."

Blessedly, Anakin laughed for real.

Ahsoka's statement about the Council had been more prescient than she had probably known. Whatever she had done to delay Obi-Wan and Windu from entering the palace had not lasted long—no more than a night, in fact. The next morning, one of Empress Elissa's pages interrupted a meeting Cailee was having with representatives from the Arkanis Flight Academy (which interested Anakin more than any of her previous meetings, although they had only actually discussed ships for a few minutes).

"Yes, what is it?" the princess demanded, politely but noticeably coldly.

Anakin had only known the girl for a couple of weeks, and even he knew that the flight academy was the most important thing to her of all the causes she sponsored, due to its connection to her father. He would not have chosen to interrupt this particular meeting if he had any choice. Evidently the page knew that too, because she curtseyed more deeply than necessary and kept her eyes on the floor even after she had risen.

"Begging your pardon, Your Highness, but Her Majesty has ordered General Skywalker to attend her in her office at once."

Anakin was just as surprised as everybody else in the room to hear that. Cailee actually turned in her chair to meet his eyes and, clearly seeing the dread he could not hide from his expression, addressed the page who was still hovering in the doorway.

"Do you know why?"

"There, there were t-two other Jedis in the th-throne room, Your Highness," stuttered the poor girl, who was clearly not prepared to be asked any questions about the empress's undeniably clear instructions. "At once, she said."

"We were nearly finished anyway, my princess," said one of the representatives from the academy. "Any lingering issues can easily be postponed until our next meeting."

Cailee grimaced, but only Anakin could see it. She did not drop her gaze from his or turn to face the others in the room. He hated to see her disappointed. He would have loved to offer to let her stay and finish her meeting without him, but it was impossible. The page certainly thought she was telling the truth, but there were simple ways of tricking vulnerable younglings into carrying out false orders they thought were legitimate, and Anakin didn't think Cailee would appreciate him interrogating a child to determine if she had received these orders directly from the empress's own mouth. And the men from her father's flight academy certainly seemed to hold genuine affection for her, but without subjecting them to a real, painful mind probe, there was no way for him to be sure. Besides, people killed people they loved all the time.

Fortunately, she had either thought things through and come to the same conclusions herself, or she had just resigned herself to the inevitable, because she only gave him a grim smile and then turned to farewell her guests.

"I am sorry, Cailee," he told her as they were walking down an otherwise empty staircase a few minutes later. "Why don't we visit the academy sometime? You can see how they're really doing."

She paused on the last step, so when he looked back at her they were nearly the same height. After a few seconds and a raised eyebrow from him, she seemed to decide what course to take with her response. She reached out to playfully pinch his bicep.

"You just want to zoom around in the fast ships."

He grinned. "Well, yeah, of course, that too."

In truth, Anakin seriously doubted they had anything that could stack up against his personal starfighter, which he'd spent ages modifying in completely illegal ways... and in even more ways that only weren't illegal because nobody else had ever thought of them before. But it had been weeks since he'd had the chance to really fly, and flying was one of the few things that made him feel like himself. He was mostly thinking of the princess, though, and wondering whether anyone had ever actually nurtured her interest in ships or flying, or if they had just patted her on the head and used her sentimentality about her dead father's career to get more and more credits out of her.

They continued walking, but just before they turned into the large central corridor that led to the empress's office, Cailee pulled him to a stop again.

"Why are the Jedi here, Anakin?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, knowing there was no point hiding anything from her when the two masters were going to spill the beans anyway.

"I broke a lot of rules that day, after the dress shop, and no doubt they've seen the holos," he told her, voice low so they wouldn't be overheard by any passersby. "They won't like that I fought the guards at all, especially not so publicly. They would have expected me to find a peaceful solution. And, beyond just that, I did some things during the fight that aren't exactly… Well, they would say that I was using the Dark Side."

More than just that Obi-Wan or Windu would say so, he knew that it was true.

He had not been thinking in the moment—he had been too focused on getting his charge back from her would-be kidnappers—but Anakin had used his rage to channel the Force during the skirmish on the sidewalk, and later in the hangar. He had Force choked someone. Maybe he could have dismissed that as not a big deal (after all, it wasn't exactly the first time he'd ever done it), but then Cailee had mentioned his yellow eyes and he had known, beyond a shadow of any doubt, that he had been using the Dark Side. He didn't know whether he could actually be considered Fallen, since he had let go of the Dark shortly thereafter and his eyes had returned to their customary blue, but there was no denying what he had done.

"I don't know what that means," Cailee broke into his thoughts, "but it sounds bad when you say it like that. And you aren't bad, Anakin."

"What I did was bad," he tried to explain, but she scoffed and lifted her hand to his shoulder as if to soothe him, and that brought him up short.

"You saved my life," she said plainly. "So what do they want?"

Anakin released another sigh and finally, reluctantly, told her, "If I had to guess, they're here to take me back to Coruscant. They'll probably restrict me to the Temple until I can be assessed and properly reeducated, if they can ever be satisfied I'm not a danger. I'm sure they intend for one of them to stay here with you instead—maybe Obi-Wan, my former master, but more likely Windu, as this was supposed to be his assignment to begin with."

"No," she stated, and from her tone he couldn't tell whether it was meant as a denial or a command.

He shrugged helplessly, unsure what else to say about it.

Cailee released her hold on his shoulder and instead took both of his hands in hers, a position that bizarrely, hysterically, reminded him of standing in front of the altar with Padmé.

"Do you want to go with them?"

"No," he answered easily. Of course he didn't.

She nodded once, sharply. "What happens if you refuse to go?"

"You mean if they don't force me? The Council will likely vote to expel me from the Order."

They might also send a covert team back to try to capture him or take him out later, if they truly thought he was a threat, but he didn't want to worry the princess with that possibility.

"Could they force you?" she asked, clearly incredulous at the idea.

Anakin's lips twitched, almost wanting to smile at her open and unquestioning faith in his abilities.

But when he thought about how to answer her question, he wasn't sure. He didn't think he was being arrogant (no matter what Obi-Wan's voice in his head told him) when he thought that, on a normal day, he could beat either Obi-Wan or Mace Windu in a lightsaber duel, but he had serious doubts about his ability to take both of them at once. And today was not a normal day. On the one hand, the enormous amount of power still tingling under his skin, which he was only very, very barely beginning to get used to, would give him an advantage, if he were willing to take the risk that he'd lose control and smoosh the other men into paste. (He wasn't sure he could hurt Obi-wan, not even after everything. The idea of reducing Windu to a smear on the ugly floral chair in the empress's office was a tempting one.) On the other hand, it was a disadvantage in that it had kept him awake for most of the past several days.

Ultimately, he was only willing to say, "Maybe together they could. It would depend on how far they're willing to go and whether they'd be forced to fight your grandmother's guards if they tried. It wouldn't be a good look if they said they need to remove me for fighting with the palace guards, only to get themselves engaged in a skirmish with the same guards. And in my experience the Council is really concerned with optics."

Cailee pondered that response for a few moments, then nodded again. "Okay. Then I think the main question, Anakin, is whether you're willing to put your place in your order in jeopardy."

Anakin lowered his head and stared at their joined hands. "I think the main question is whether I'm willing to let you die. Because you will, if I leave. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually."

The princess drew in a sharp breath, but her hands remained steady, and she remained quiet, letting him think.

Anakin supposed that he had known for a while that it was coming to this. He had known far before he ever came to Arkanis, even though he had never been willing to acknowledge it to himself. His struggles with Jedi training, the Jedi Code, and living in the Temple had never really gone away. He had just found ways to overcome or bypass his issues without actually learning what Obi-Wan and the other masters had been trying to teach him, such as by engaging in moving meditation rather than mastering the ability to meditate the proper way.

He had strived for years to earn his master's respect, only to fail spectacularly, culminating in the episode where the Council had conspired to use his inappropriate attachment to Obi-Wan against him by letting Anakin think he had died. Even that had not been enough.

For fuck's sake, he had watched the Council unjustly expel his Padawan from the Order and send her to her execution, and he had still clung to the Order like a security blanket even as he had watched Ahsoka walk away from it.

He routinely ignored direct orders, avoided telling things to the Council and otherwise lied by omission, because he did not respect many of their decisions or think they had their priorities straight.

He thought so little of the Code that he had committed one of the ultimate transgressions by marrying Padmé. That was not a one-time aberration for which he could be forgiven. It was a deliberate choice he made, day in and day out, for nearly three years, to break the Code. And even when he had realized he was willing to do that, he had still not been willing to see the writing on the wall.

Maybe most damning of all was how he had murdered men, women, children, and even infants in that camp on Tatooine, down to the very last one, because he had not been able to let go of his love for his mother, or his fury and need for vengeance at her death. It wasn't even that he was damned for carrying out such a wholesale slaughter (though he undoubtedly was); it was that he didn't regret it. Even now, Force help him, he thought they had deserved it, even the newborn that had been strapped to its mother's chest so that he had run them through together. It would have grown up to kidnap and rape other women like Anakin's mother. So yeah, he would do it all over again exactly the same way, if he could…. Except he would tell Yoda and Obi-Wan to go fuck themselves and leave weeks earlier, so that he could save his mother's life first before he still wiped that entire camp off the face of the planet.

Anakin Skywalker was not a Jedi. He never had been, in truth.

He had only grown up hearing fairy tales about them, so that when Qui-Gon Jinn had offered to free him and train him as a Jedi, he had not known what it really meant to be one. And even if he had, he would have agreed to almost anything to be freed. Then he had spent years being terrified on a near-constant basis that if he did something wrong or admitted that he had made a mistake that the Jedi would ship him right back into slavery. By the time he had gotten past that idea (if he ever had), he had already sunk so much time and effort into proving that he could become a Jedi that he had continued to cling to it as hard as he could.

Then, of course, had come the war. Jedi weren't made for being soldiers or generals, but Anakin was.

He had been able to make a real difference, both as a general leading the clones and as a single warrior on his own merits. He would hate to give that up, but it seemed that he didn't have a choice. Either he would leave the Order and be stripped of his title and his command, or he would remain a Jedi but no longer be trusted to command and lose his ship and his men anyway.

Anakin released the long, deep breath he had been holding and squeezed Cailee's delicate fingers, which were still wrapped around both his sword-calloused fingers and his mechanical ones.

"If they expel me from the Order, so be it."

She collapsed against him in relief and would have hit the floor if he hadn't caught her. The only thing Anakin could do was embrace her as she leaned into his body and released her terror (at the idea of him leaving her to die) and naked euphoria (at his decision to stay) into the Force around him.

"Thank you, Anakin," she murmured into his chest. "You must know that you will always have a place here, even after you put a stop to this conspiracy. The empress will ensure that, and if she won't, I will."

Anakin appreciated the gesture, but he could not think of it now. He couldn't think too far ahead about what he would do next, or else he would second guess his decision. Not out of any true desire to remain a Jedi, but rather out of a slave boy's need to know that he belonged somewhere.

It was only the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps that caused Anakin to release the girl from his arms. He gently set her back on her own two feet and took a step away just before the same page from earlier rounded the corner. The youngling offered a brief curtsey and said something about informing the empress that they were on their way, trying and failing to hide her frustration as she scurried off again.

They walked the rest of the way without speaking, and with only one more brief detour for Cailee to check her appearance in a mirror and swiftly make a few adjustments to her hair where their hug had slightly damaged it.

Then, before Anakin was anywhere near ready, he was facing both his former master and one of his greatest detractors. Obi-Wan looked the same as ever; that is to say, boyishly handsome and so deeply disappointed in Anakin that he couldn't hide it. Windu looked like he had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but Anakin wasn't sure he even had another side. He was perched so uncomfortably on the small floral chair Anakin had been thinking about spilling his guts over earlier that Anakin almost could not hold back his laughter.

"Well, members of the Jedi High Council, here is your General Skywalker," the empress's high, slightly unpleasant voice rang out across the room. "The boy looks sane enough to me, if in need of a good night's sleep. My granddaughter would have a more well formed opinion than I do."

"Your Majesty?" inquired Cailee as Anakin shut the door behind them.

"The Jedi seem to think that General Skywalker is a danger to himself and others." Empress Elissa sniffed disdainfully. "He is clearly a danger to others, I told them, but is that not the point of him?"

Cailee's made an aborted movement, as if she had wanted to reach behind her for Anakin's hand but had immediately thought better of it. She lifted her chin, her expression transformed into the frigid, haughty thing Anakin had seen her use when bossing the guards around.

"General Skywalker has certainly made quick work of those trying to harm me. I am grateful for his service."

Obi-Wan offered a polite, if stilted, smile. "I'm sure you are. However, I'm afraid that the Jedi High Council has recalled Anakin to Coruscant."

"No," said the princess.

"No?" That particular tone of Obi-Wan's voice made Anakin want to flinch like a child being reprimanded by his father, but he refrained.

"That is completely unacceptable," clarified Cailee. "My life is still in danger, and General Skywalker is my protector."

Obi-Wan's expression was half apologetic and half sympathetic for Cailee's benefit, but his angry, disappointed eyes were all for Anakin.

"I know that you feel he has been protecting you, but he has used the Dark Side to do so, and thus he is as much a danger to you as to anyone else. Master Windu will remain behind to serve as your guard until your security force can neutralize the threat."

"My security force is the threat!" exclaimed the princess. She turned a blistering glare onto Windu. "Tell me, would you have been able to save my life in the explosion?"

Windu frowned in clear disgust, first at Anakin and then back at Cailee. "I would never have let you visit the city in the first place, so it would never have been an issue."

Anakin snorted. "So, in other words, no?"

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan chastised him in much the same way Anakin had done to Ahsoka the day prior. He was grateful that she was following up on several leads he had given her and was not here to witness this.

The empress's severe expression and hard, challenging stare were at odds with her demurely folded hands and summery, feminine mint dress she was wearing, but when she spoke nobody could have questioned that she had ruled an empire for nigh on fifty years.

"Skywalker rooted out dozens of illegal listening devices within hours of entering the palace. Tell me, Master Windu, do you also share this talent? And are you also capable of fighting over fifty of my best soldiers by yourself, while defending my granddaughter from stray blaster bolts? Because while that video has not been released to the public, I would be more than willing to share it with your Council if it would influence their decision."

Obi-Wan placed a restraining hand on Windu's arm and turned his attention fully to the empress, clearly intent on making her understand how grave the situation was.

"Your Majesty, Anakin has many talents, some that few or no other Jedi possess," he acknowledged. "However, he has resorted to using the Dark Side, and the Dark Side cannot be controlled, not even by those who wish to use it to do good. It is only a matter of time before he turns his talents against those he is supposed to protect."

Cailee's body visibly tensed at that accusation.

Empress Elissa turned her assessing gaze onto Anakin. "What do you say to these allegations, General Skywalker?"

"I did use the Dark Side," he confessed, seeing no use in denying the truth. "However, even in the throes of it, my only concern was keeping her safe. I swear that I am not a danger to the princess."

"Ah, well, this is quite a conundrum," declared the empress, sarcasm clear in her tone. "Skywalker has saved my granddaughter's life using this 'Dark Side' and has spent weeks alone with her without incident, but two Jedi I have never met before tell me that he will turn on her like a rabid dog at any moment."

Obi-Wan shook his head and turned a critical eye back to Anakin. "This is irrelevant, I'm afraid. The Council has jurisdiction over Anakin, and the Council has ordered his return to Coruscant."

Cailee looked like steam might start coming out of her ears any second, but Anakin stepped up next to her and gave her a minute shake of his head, before she could reenter the fray. The empress, for her part, seemed happy to see what he had to say.

"I do have a choice, Obi-wan," he pointed out to his master. "It's just never been one that I thought I could make."

Anakin closed his eyes and took a fortifying breath, his mind running through his decision one last time before he said something irrevocable. When he opened his eyes and met his former master's and once brother's gaze, his already broken heart shattered a little more, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"I am not going back to the Temple with you."

"Anakin! What are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I should have done when I was a Padawan. What you should never have talked me out of doing." He looked away to avoid seeing the dawning understanding on Obi-Wan's face. "We both know that I have never been comfortable at the Temple, and that I have always struggled with following the ways of the Jedi. I was just always too afraid to leave, until now."

Of course, Mace Windu seemed positively gleeful at this turn of events, so he easily filled the void of Obi-Wan's horrified silence.

"Very well. I think that is the right decision. We will inform the Council." He held out his hand. "Your lightsaber."

"You can loot my lightsaber off my dead body, if you want it," Anakin told him, keeping his voice deliberately bland. At the stab of indignation he knew would follow that pronouncement, he released the iron grip he had been holding on the furious, churning black hole of his Force well and let the two Jedi Masters feel the full extent of it, until it seemed like everybody in the room might suffocate, even the non-Force sensitives. Anakin bared his teeth in a feral smile. "I wouldn't recommend you try it, though."

"Anakin," whispered Obi-Wan, as if his name were a plea or a prayer. "What have you done?"

As little as a year ago he may have given his left arm as well as the right one he had already lost just to have his master express even half of the feeling behind those words, but Anakin had since learned to stop depending on Obi-Wan's emotional availability. About the time of the Hardeen incident, in fact. Instead, he focused on the affection and wonder and not insignificant lust that the princess was projecting in his direction, as if her feelings where a lighthouse in the storm.

"Come on," he offered, holding out his elbow for her to take. "I'd better get Artoo off the ship, since I imagine Master Windu will want to fly it back to Coruscant."

She accepted readily and made a little curtsey to her grandmother, which Anakin belatedly followed up with a shallow bow, then they walked out of the room together. It was only when they passed by a large, ornate mirror lining one side of the corridor that Anakin realized his irises were two or three shades lighter than usual, save for the ring of bright gold around their rims.