Chapter 7: Dash Parr Speeds Up Penelope's Heartbeat Like a Glitch
"Okay, up next on finding a love match for someone is Penelope von Schweetz, better known as Candy Princess." Edward said.
"Um, Ed. I'm pretty sure by now that her name is Vanel—." Edward stopped Atlas before she finished her sentence.
"I already told you, Atlas. Penelope is what I'll be referring her to as. And what she's going to do if I get her name wrong? Smack me? Candy Princess is fully aware by now that she can't put her hands on her elders and other people, including me. And besides, she could care less if someone gets her name wrong. With that said, let's start the game." Edward said.
Edward types Penelope's name, well her actual name, on the screen. The image loads and it shows the head of a light-skinned girl with black hair covered in candy tied in a ponytail. He then presses the 'spin the wheel' button. The wheel spins rapidly until it slowly lands and stops. The wheel landed on an image showing the head of a light-skinned boy with blonde hair and blue eyes.
"So the wheel landed on Dash Parr, the speed demon of the Incredibles? I guess Candy Princess just found her prince with incredible speed and swift reflexes." Edward said.
"I kinda wanted the wheel to land on guys such as Rancis Fluggerbutter from Sugar Rush, Gus Turner from Robotboy, Antonio Perez from Despicable Me, or Hiro Hamada of Big Hero 6." Atlas said.
"Let me tell you something about how those guys are not qualified to be Penelope's love match, Atlas." Edward responded. "Francis Flutterbutter is one—." Atlas interrupted Edward before he could finish.
"His name is not Francis. It's Ran—." Edward interrupted before Atlas could finish.
"No, Atlas. I literally meant to say Francis Flutterbutter. The boy won't have a heart attack if I get his name wrong. So let me finish what I need to say." Said Edward.
"Okay, fine." Atlas said.
"As I was saying, Francis Flutterbutter is one of the many racers who bullied Penelope after everyone's memories were locked up by that greedy racer Turbo. After Turbo was defeated and Penelope crossed the finish line, Sugar Rush reset itself and every Sugar Rush racer had their memories restored. Upon seeing Penelope in a princess dress, the racers immediately apologized for their bullying in a desperate tone, saying it was just a joke. Penelope forgave them so easily because in her perspective, she can't really blame them for what they did since everything that happened in Sugar Rush is Turbo's fault due to his arrogance and envy. If I were in Penelope's shoes, I would have sentenced the racers to death, no matter how sorry they are." Edward said.
"Dude, that's kinda too harsh. I would have given the racers some leniency if I turned out to be the prince." Rye said.
"Yeah, I know. But bullying has a severe effect on the victim's mind, and can make victims become bullies themselves, regardless of whether or not mind control is involved." Edward said. "That is why I say that Francis Flutterbutter isn't fit to be Penelope's ideal match. She can give the boy a chance if she wanted to, but I find it weird for Penelope to date someone who bullied her for being a glitch even if said bully lost his or her memories."
"What about the other guys that Atlas mentioned?" Lefty asked.
"Antonio Perez isn't fit to be Penelope's boyfriend, given that he made Margo sad and miserable after he flirted with some other girl and danced with the said girl. Plus, Antonio is the son of Eduardo Perez, a supervillain. Heroes like Penelope should never date a supervillain's child for obvious reasons. Augustus Bachman Turner, aka Gus Turner, is just way too obnoxious and disgusting to be Candy Princess' ideal love match. He might give her a complete hard time just like he did with Lola Mbola, his friend and teammate. As for Hiro Hamada, well, I've seen fan art dedicated to both him and Penelope. But in reality, people, including his friends, would tease and accuse Hiro of being a lolicon given that Penelope has the height of a child and Hiro having the height of a teen. Plus, Hiro is like 14 years old and Penelope is like 9 years old."
"But the directors said she was 12 years old." Lefty said.
"Yeah, but it was stated from the beginning that she was 9 years old. So, Hiro Hamada, a 14 year old, dating Penelope von Schweetz, a 9 year old, is a no-no. Thus, Dash Parr is labeled as the perfect ideal match for her."
"And I suppose the reason is due to Penelope hailing from a racing game which is what Dash likes since he likes to use his speed for competition, right?" Lefty asked.
"Well, it's not just that Dash likes girls who come from racing games like Penelope does. It's more likely to be that Dash likes energetic girls whose spirits burn hotter with adrenaline inside of them, and Penelope is one of those examples. As for the type of guys that Penelope likes, let's just say that she likes guys who can match her best friend Ralph in terms of personality and skill. If that were to be the case, then I'd say she would definitely give Dash a chance." Edward said.
"Would it be out of character for Vanel—, I mean Penelope to give Dash a kiss on his cheek if he were to give her such a great time? She did say that romance and true love's kisses are gross.' Atlas said.
"That is a question that only Sarah Silverman, Penelope's voice, and the creators can answer because only they can respond to this type of question." Edward responded.
"I hope Dash's family would support Dash dating Penelope. The same can apply to Sarah Silverman and Ralph." Lefty said.
"Initially, they probably won't let Dash and Penelope date since the two are children, but if they changed their minds, they will let them date. However, they expected the two to not have relationship issues." Edward said.
"Since Dash is a superhero, and kept it a secret from Vanel—, I mean Penelope, how do you think she would react if she found out he was a superhero and that he kept it from her?" Atlas asked.
"Again, only Sarah Silverman and the creators of Penelope can answer that question." Edward answered.
"I honestly do think Dash would be the perfect prince for a princess like Vanel—, I mean Penelope. After all, both are speedsters who lived in societies where they can't do anything for the benefits of themselves and other people." Atlas said. "It remained that way before circumstances changed."
"That's right, Atlas." Lefty said.
"Yeah, because Dash lived in a town where superheroes are banned from stopping criminals from performing acts of crime, and Penelope hailed from a video game where at one point she was a racer but got turned into a glitch and therefore was prohibited from racing. Both Dash and Penelope also have big strong people who will protect them at any cost. It's due to these experiences that Dash and Penelope would get along great. And if anyone were to call Penelope a freak due to her glitching, then there's no doubt in my mind that Dash Parr would come to her defense." Edward said.
"I bet their relationship would be similar to Sonic the Hedgehog and Nelson Thorndyke's rivalry, with Dash being the fast runner and Penelope as the fast driver." Lefty said.
"It could be, but in a more romantic tone than usual." Edward said. "Only time will tell on how their relationship will play out."
"Agreed!" Rye exclaimed.