Monday, June 27, 2022- 24 weeks

I'm not sure why, but I find myself in the corridor outside Leonard's lab. Raising my fist, I knock three times, "Leonard, Leonard, Leonard," I call out between each knock.

"Hey, buddy," the door swings open. "What's up?" I don't reply, waiting until Leonard steps back, welcoming me inside. "Is everything okay?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I pace from the door to the opposite side of the room. "Amy and I have a parenting class tonight. What if they say I'm not cut out to be a father?"

Leonard sighs, "Sheldon. That's not what those classes are for. They're to help you and Amy prepare for the baby. They'll probably talk about stuff like infant CPR, maybe they'll teach you how to change a diaper, breastfeeding versus formula, and birthing techniques. Have you and Amy talked about any of that stuff?"

Of course, we've talked about some of those things. I know Amy wants to breastfeed, but is open to formula if that's what our son needs. Amy is a pro at changing diapers from babysitting Halley, Michael, and Ava; the last diaper I changed was CeCe's when I was fourteen when Missy tricked me while she was babysitting. I guess a refresh on that wouldn't be the worst. "Of course, we've talked about those things. Weren't you worried before you and Penny went to your classes?"

"Well, our classes were over Zoom, but yeah, I was worried going into it. No parent wants to have to think about needing to know CPR or complications during delivery, but it was reassuring knowing we knew what to do in those situations." Leonard adjusted the laser as he spoke. "How many classes do you have? Isn't it still a little early for you guys to be starting them? We didn't start until Penny was almost thirty weeks. Amy isn't that far along yet, is she?"

"No," I shake my head, "She's only twenty-four weeks, but the doctor suggested we start them now. I guess the next set of classes wouldn't be done until too close to her due date it's four two-hour long classes every Monday."

My best friend hesitantly reaches out and places his hand on my back, despite knowing how I feel about physical contact, I find it reassuring. "You'll be fine. Amy loves you, just talk to her if you're worried about this."

"Okay," I quietly reply. "Thank you, Leonard."

Tonight's class was an introduction to what will be covered in the next three weeks, including watching a video of a baby being born. That was something I was not prepared to see tonight. I was the only person in the class to raise their hand when the instructor asked if anyone had seen a birth in person. I still hate Missy for making me be in the room when Matthew was born.

"Hey," the sound of Amy's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "We're home. You gonna come in?" I look to my left and find her standing next to the car, which has been parked in the garage.

"Oh," I slowly climb out of the car and follow Amy toward the backdoor. We're next to the pergola when Amy steps under it, dropping into one of the Adirondack chairs resting under it. "You're not going inside?"

She points at the chair next to her, "Sit." We have lived in this house for months and have never sat outside like this. I settle next to Amy and notice how many mosquitos are swarming around us. We'll need to get some citronella candles or bug spray if Amy wants to start spending any amount of time out here. "You didn't say a word on the drive home. Did you even hear me when I asked if you wanted to stop for ice cream?"

"No," I sheepishly admit. "Do you want ice cream? There's some in the freezer or we could go back out."

"That's okay, Sheldon. I wanted to check if you're okay after class?"

Of course, my being quiet on the drive home would worry her. I don't want to worry her. "We're going to have a baby. You're going to have a baby," I emphasize that she's the one doing this. "I've been at every doctor appointment with you; I've seen the ultrasounds and have been watching your stomach grow with him. Something about being there tonight made this all very real. I was there when Missy had Matthew; I've seen it before. I know what you're going to go through. I'm sorry."

"For what?" Amy's face softens and I sense her studying me.

"I was the one to suggest having a baby and never thought about the fact that you're going to have to go through that."

"Sheldon, you don't have to apologize," she reaches over and puts her hand out, silently inviting me to place mine in it. We link hands as she continues, "I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. You never said much about being there for Missy when Matthew was born. Can you tell me about it?"

I shudder at the memory of a person coming out of my sister. "Well, she decided she wanted a home birth, which I was not told until I arrived in Texas; I think they knew I wouldn't come if I knew. My mother asked me to get towels, so I left and went to the store to buy some. She wasn't specific and I needed to get out of the house for a little while." What if Amy thinks I'm going to leave her while she's in labor? "Don't worry, though. I promise not to leave your side while you're in labor. From the minute you tell me you had a contraction until you're holding our son, I'll be there."

"Thank you."

It's been over eight years and I still remember the feeling of the first time I held Matthew. Yes, I was annoyed that he cried so much and he didn't understand anything I said, but there was something about looking into his innocent eyes that didn't know anything about the world he'd just entered. "I never told you this at the time, but a little part of me wondered what our children might be like when I held him. I meant it when I returned and said I would've preferred to have you there with me."

"Sheldon," Amy sighs my name. "Thank you. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go inside. I'm getting eaten alive by these mosquitos."

She said the words I've been wanting to hear since she insisted on sitting outside. We're making our way the last few feet to the back door when I stop her from unlocking the door. "Can we switch sides of the bed tonight?"

"Why?"

Pregnancy brain is real. She's the one who suggested asking to switch sides and she doesn't even remember why. "I want to hold my wife and son tonight if that's alright with you."

Amy nods, having finally opened the door, "Sure. We can switch sides of the bed tonight."

*They never say the name of Missy's son that Sheldon was there for his birth- it's Matthew for this story.