Alright folks, this marks the start of the last "section" of this story. The end is in sight. I have a new job that I'll be starting soon, so I'm going to try to write as much as I can so that I can update regularly if things get busy, but no promises.

Thanks Spawn for pointing out I left my notes at the end of the chapter. Spoilers, right. Removed them. This is why I like to edit...

Chapter 20: The Blues

Shelby was frustrated. That was an understatement. The whole situation did more than frustrate her, it made her furious. Her daughter was being continually victimized and abused. Someone had raped her daughter and took photos of it that he then used to manipulate her. It was disgusting. She was horrified.

Worse, she didn't know how to help, nor did she know the extent of the mental manipulation that asshole used on Rachel.

There was nothing she could do to make it better. Right now, she just needed to find her daughter and help her in whatever way she'd allow.

Her phone rang, and Shelby prayed it was Rachel, sighing when it wasn't.

"Kim, I can't talk right now."

"What a lovely hello, Shelby."

"I'm serious Kim. If this isn't an emergency, I can't talk right now."

"What's going on? Why do you sound so out of breath?"

"I'm chasing after my daughter."

"Isn't Beth in school today? It's a Tuesday."

"Not Beth… Rachel."

"You're with Rachel?"

"I would be if I could find her, but she ran off."

"I feel like I'm missing something here. Since when are you and Rachel spending so much time together and what happened to make her run off?"

"Kim, I don't have time for this right now."

"Shelby… Is everything ok? You sound panicked?"

"Rachel ran off when she was having a panic attack. I need to find her. I don't know where the hell I am on this god-forsaken campus, and you're not listening to me. So no, Kim, everything is not ok."

"Ok, Shel. I'm sorry for not listening. Please take a deep breath. You're at Rachel's school with her?"

"Yes."

"And you don't know where she'd be?"

"No!"

"Think about the situation and where you would go if you were in her shoes. Start there."

"I think I know where she is. I'll call you back."

Shelby didn't give Kim a chance to respond, just hanging up. She approached the first student that passed by asking for directions and went off in search of Rachel.

It took her ten minutes to get to the theatre. The space was dark save for the aisle and stage lights. Students worked on the stage rehearsing a student play. But there she was, sitting in the back row of empty seats, masked by the darkness.

Shelby made her way through the aisles until she reached Rachel's row and walked to the seat beside her.

Eyes focused on the stage, following Rachel's actions, Shelby asked, "Are you alright?"

"Define alright."

Instead, Shelby asked, "How are you feeling after what happened?"

"I'm hurt, Shelby. Everything hurts."

"I'm sorry."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that. It does nothing."

"What would do something?"

"I just want to get out of here. I don't want to be here anymore."

"We can do that. Come on," she said, reaching out a hand to her daughter.

Rachel reluctantly took her hand and allowed her to guide her out. Shelby took her to the car, shielding her as best she could from prying eyes, and drove them to a small café so they could have some time before facing the rest of the family.

"Rachel, can you talk to me? Tell me what you're thinking?"

"This happened to me, and they're blaming me. I'm being punished for it while he's free. No one is looking at him differently."

"Because they don't know. What the school is doing is wrong, but no one knows what happened or who did it, Rachel. People don't know who to blame."

"Are you defending them?!"

"Absolutely not. I'm on your side, Rachel. I don't think what happened was fair. I don't believe you should be punished for those pictures. At the same time, they don't have the context. They didn't know how those came to be or who is responsible for them."

"So I should be their go to scapegoat? Great… I'm so glad you're on my side. I'd hate to see how you'd act if you were my enemy."

"I'm not your enemy… That's progress," Shelby joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Rachel didn't give much of a reaction, so Shelby sobered herself, reached her hand across the table for Rachel's and waited for eye contact.

"Rach… I don't know what you're feeling right now. I can't. No one can. I'm not defending the school. I yelled at them and told them exactly what I thought of how they handled things, but please hear me out. Without context, it looks like you took pictures with a significant other and they got leaked… I know that's not true, and you know that, but the school doesn't."

"Why are you trying to make what they did better?"

"I'm not. I'm really not. My point is that if you don't want to tell anyone what you're going through, you don't have to, but they're going to make assumptions. It's not fair or right, but it is what it is." She paused and squeezed her daughter's hand. "Rachel, if you told me who hurt you, I would destroy him. I would hunt him down and kill him if I thought it would make you feel any better. Hell, it would probably make me feel better… But the truth is, I don't know how to help you. I don't know how to make any of this better… So just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."

"I already told you what I need, but you can't make that happen. No one can. I did this to myself. I caused this you know…"

"No… No you didn't. It's not your fault."

"How do you know? You have no idea."

"I know it's hard for you to talk about, but why don't you tell me? Tell me why you think it's your fault."

"Because it is. I… I let him do this to me. I led him on."

"I'm going to stop you right there. I don't care if you went into things planning to have sex with him. If you said no or wanted to stop at any time, that's your right and it was his fault for not listening."

Rachel sunk in her seat in shame, thankful the café was relatively empty, and no one was close enough to hear their conversation.

"You don't get it. I… I caused this. I led him on and trusted him."

"Rach, did you say no or tell him to stop… voice any kind of discomfort?"

"I… Yes."

"Then what he did was wrong."

"He used Barbra to trick me," Rachel quietly said, looking down at her lap instead of at Shelby.

"What?"

"Santana and Kurt just left, and he told me about the time he met Barbra Streisand. Told me he had some pictures and an autograph… Somehow, we were then at his apartment. I'm not sure how we got there. It's all a little fuzzy. I wasn't feeling great…"

Shelby was hanging on every word. Rachel had let bits and pieces out, but this was the first time she hadn't needed to pry to get any information. She wanted to know what happened.

"He showed me the autograph, but I was dizzy and felt weird. Tired too. I trusted him… I thought I was safe, and I laid back on his couch. It was such a great day… I think I was too naïve maybe… Too… Rachel…"

Shelby wanted to argue, but was afraid that if she said anything, Rachel would stop. She finally got her to talk, she didn't want to ruin that.

"He kissed me, and I let him, but then I said no… I said no… And I founght him, but I couldn't. Everything felt hazy and like I wasn't really there. The worst part is that I don't know everything that happened. I didn't know about the photos he took or what others he might still have. I woke up the next morning naked with my dress ripped and blood… and I just ran…"

She met Shelby's eyes for the first time and said, "I woke up to a nightmare, and he was just sleeping like a baby beside me… Now that just keeps happening. I get screwed over and he's just free to do whatever. He can harass me, humiliate me… hurt me… and he just goes on with his life like nothing happened while I feel like I'm dying over and over again each day."

"You can still go to the police…"

"No I can't. I don't want to."

"What about telling the school? At least about the photos…"

"No!"

"Ok… No one is making you. Can I ask you something though, Rachel? What does not telling anyone do for you? Does it save you any pain? I'm asking seriously here, and I'm not trying to tell you what to do… I'm just trying to understand."

"It's no one's business but mine. I don't want people to know and look at me like you're looking at me."

"Empathetically?"

"Pathetically… Like I'm an ugly, broken rag doll."

"I don't see you that way, Rachel, and I hope you don't see yourself that way. All I see when I look at you is a warrior. You've been through so much and you're still standing."

Hastily, Rachel said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just… I want to go home. I'm exhausted and I need to do laundry. It's still piled up from before my disappearing act."

"Will you have a late lunch with me and my parents first?"

Rachel looked at her and it was clear a war was waging behind her eyes – so many thoughts and worries.

"You don't have to," Shelby told her. "But I would like it if you did."

It's not like this day can get any worse, she thought.

"Fine. Against my will, your parents bought me some clothes and I need to grab them anyway."

"I'll take it."

Shelby grabbed them some tea to go before they took off. Jack and Maggie were happy to get a little more time with their girls. Rachel closed off again. There were moments where she was forthcoming and open, though they were few and far between. More often, she was withdrawn. It was painful to see and worse so now that they knew what caused it.

Rachel felt like she was watching life go on around her, but she wasn't part of it. The whole day just felt like she was walking to her execution, and even though she was granted a stay, she still felt dead inside.

She didn't know what to do about it, but she couldn't be there any longer.

"I better get home. I told Santana and Kurt to expect me and they've been blowing up my phone asking about the meeting. They'll probably set up another glee-vention if I don't show up soon."

"Can we drive you?" Maggie asked.

"No, thank you. I think I'll take the subway." Rachel lingered in front of her grandparents after hugging them. "Thank you… for everything."

"Anytime, Rachel. You're always welcome wherever we are."

As Rachel headed home, the three Corcorans chatted about the meeting, their worry for Rachel, and then eventually Beth's party. Shelby even managed to call back her sister, putting the whole family on video chat.

"I take it you found your mini me runaway?" Kim asked immediately.

"What a lovely "hello," Kim. Mom and Dad are here with me. Shouldn't you be at work?"

"It's a work from home day today. Don't judge. You should be at work too, but I knew mom and dad were coming in so I took my chances. So, what's happening with Rachel?"

Shelby was conflicted. She didn't want to break Rachel's trust, but she could really use her big sister to talk to about what's going on. Knowing that, her mother and father gave them some time alone.

"What's going on, Shel?"

Shelby just broke. She started tearing up and told the whole story. Kim's heart broke right along with her. She may have never met Rachel, but that didn't mean she didn't care about her. As a human, just knowing that someone had to go through that was terrible.

"How is she doing? How are you doing?"

"I think we're both just surviving, but I feel like we're both waiting for the next avalanche to fall."

"Do you want me to ask Matt if there are any legal options for her? Like for school?"

"Isn't he a corporate lawyer?"

"Yes, but he knows other types of lawyers Shleby."

"I know that, Kim. I'm sorry. I don't know that we're there yet. Right now I'm more focused on getting her through this and letting her chose the path she takes but also making sure she doesn't throw her life away because of the pain she's in."

"Your first taste of parenting a young adult. Enjoy."

"Don't say that so gleefully."

"I'm not. What she went through… I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but she couldn't ask for better people to have on her side."

"Thanks…"

"Am I going to meet her at Beth's party? I convinced Dan and Jaime to come too. They weren't sure if they could make it, but it looks like they worked things out."

"They told me… And yes, I think you'll be able to meet her then. I guess that means I should have a conversation with Dan about Rachel."

"That's up to you and Rachel, I guess… But probably. Listen, I need to go pick up Matt from the airport. He's just getting back from a business trip, but I can't wait to see you and meet Rachel. Tell mom and dad I love them. Bye, Shel."

Somehow, despite nothing truly coming out of the conversation, no solutions anyway, Shelby felt lighter… Better. If only the same could be said for Rachel.

When Rachel got back, Kurt and Santana were already in the living room waiting for her. They immediately asked how things went with NYADA. Deep sigh, she plopped down next to them and told them what happened. Her tone was even and emotionless. Truth was she expected things to turn out this way. She wouldn't have been surprised if things even went worse.

"Do you want me to kick someone's ass?" Santana asked. "Just tell me who and I'll do it."

"Nothing you can do can make it better, Santana. It just… it is what it is."

Her response shouldn't have surprised them, but it did. Rachel wasn't a defeatist, but now she felt defeated and it was impacting her in more ways than they could count. It all just made Santana angrier. She had been holding her breath, trying not to go crazy over the last few days while Rachel was away, but it was hard. Kurt was trying his best to keep her from doing anything rash, but he wasn't sure this news would help the situation.

"I don't accept that, Rachel," Santana said. "You worked too hard to get where you are for them to take things away from you. You don't deserve that."

"That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me… But it doesn't matter. They made their choice, and I can't fight it."

Kurt was just sad. It had been a long, hard year that just seems to keep piling on. The way Rachel talked, it was like her dreams weren't her dreams anymore, school wasn't where she wanted to be, and Broadway seemed like home for some other her… it was hard to hear.

He understood that her mind was in a dark spot, but he had to come up with something that could help her find her spark and passion again. But then she asked about what people were saying at school, and, honestly, he didn't want to answer.

"It's that bad?" Rachel asked.

"No," he lied. "I just don't pay attention to it. They can think what they want, but we know the truth."

The answer did not help Rachel's already dwindled mood. He wasn't telling her the truth. She was dreading returning to class, and was already contemplating not going back at all. Before she didn't think she had a choice and that made it easy. Now she knew she did, and it was harder. She may not have been expelled, but she didn't feel like it was her school or her dream anymore.

She didn't feel safe there or anywhere right now. It was one of those times when, if her parents were still together and weren't secretly selling her childhood home, she would return there to hide away in her old bedroom, allowing them to treat her like a five year old and just take care of her. But that wasn't an option and, honestly, she loved her fathers to pieces, but she couldn't deal with their divorce and dramatics on top of everything else.

She just wanted to find some kind of peace, but that wasn't happening.

Santana wasn't as resigned as the other two. Rachel might not feel like she could do anything, and Kurt wasn't much of a fighter, but she had an idea. If Jasper thought he could get away with it, he had another thing coming.

"Will you two be ok without me? I have to run some errands."

"Yeah, I think Rachel and I could use some quality best body time. It's been a while and maybe it will cheer you up. What do you say, Rach?"

"Sure, as long as we get to laundry at some point."

"We'll do it tomorrow morning. I need to do some too, so I'll go with you," Santana told her.

"Sounds good."

Santana took off quickly, and Kurt excitedly prepared for a special night. While Rachel hopped in the shower, he jumped on his laptop and found a great deal on last minute tickets to Wicked. They saw it once when they first came to New York, but it was a favorite. An understudy was playing the role of Glinda, and the seats weren't the best, but it would still be a good show.

The plan was to pamper Rachel, then give her a Broadway high to, hopefully, help her find her spark.

"Alright," Kurt said when Rachel came back out into the living room. "Are you ready for a super fun roomies night?"

"Bring it on, Kurt," Rachel said.

If nothing else, hanging out with Kurt and not talking about what she was going through was a good stress relief. She wanted to just enjoy some normalcy for now and take advantage of the situation.

He set up a spa in their living room with face masks and polishes for manis and pedis. So they did each other's nails while the masks dried on their faces. Music played in the background and they snacked on junk. Seeing her actually eat without hesitation was a nice relief. They didn't talk much, at least not about anything of substance beyond catching Rachel up on the happenings of the New Directions.

"Ok, now time to get dressed. Wear something nice."

"Where are we going? I'm not really up to anything major or going out at all really…"

She didn't know how she would handle it if she ran into Jasper… or anyone from school. Though she couldn't avoid the world forever, she definitely wanted to prolong the inevitable.

"Rach, I promise it will be worth it. Trust me, ok? I mean… If you really don't want to do see Wicked with me tonight… Then I guess you don't have to, but what a waste of good tickets that would be."

"Wicked?"

"Yup."

"And we're only going to the theatre and then back here?"

"Yes. No stops along the way unless you say you want to."

"Alright. I have to go get ready then…"

It ended up being a lovely night, as carefree as Rachel could possibly feel given her situation, but it felt a little life false hope. The happiness and calm never lasted. It couldn't.

"Hey Kurt," Rachel said when they got home.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for a lovely roomie day. You're my best gay, you know."

"I know. I missed us time. I'm glad you were up for it."

"Thanks for also not asking anymore about… anything."

"You'll tell me more when you're ready. I'm not going to push."

"I appreciate it."

He gently hugged her and told her he was heading to bed.

"I've got an early class and then a lunch shift. It's going to be a long day."

"Have fun."

Rachel went to bed that night not feeling better, but not feeling worse. For that, she was grateful. It was a nice end to a crappy beginning of the day, and she just wanted to feel that part.

She sure as heck wasn't going to school for the next day (or the rest of the week) despite Santana and Kurt trying to persuade her. It was no use. She wasn't ready to face them. Instead, she focused on menial things like laundry with Santana and online shopping for Beth's birthday present.

The rest of the week passed, and she merely existed. She accomplished nothing and tried to do nothing. She made it to another therapy session but couldn't bring herself to talk about the rape. She knew she should, but she couldn't. The words just wouldn't come. It was one thing to have people find out unintentionally. It was another to purposefully tell someone and try to work through it.

Maybe it wasn't that complicated, but it felt like it was. She spent the time just not dealing with everything. It felt like a bit of a backslide, but it gave her some mind-numbing time to just be and observe. It was the first time in her life that she completely slacked off.

Santana was up to something. Rachel was sure of it. She had been glued to Rachel's side whenever they were together, especially if they went out (which wasn't often), but she disappeared all the time with no explanation.

Kurt and Rachel suspected that she might be seeing someone. She was, just not in the way they thought. More like she was keeping an eye on someone and unintentionally going to set off a bomb that was already ready to erupt.

It was Sunday when things started to go badly again. Rachel had a long day at work, a double shift to make up for calling out so much that week. She came home to the apartment late in the evening. Kurt was at a friend's apartment to work on a scene project and Santana was wherever Santana was.

She was exhausted and frustrated. Someone from school showed up at the diner and made some comments about her. The word slut still rang in her ears. She just wanted to get in bed and pretend everything was fine.

Life had other plans.

The apartment door was unlocked when she arrived, but the lights were off.

"Kurt, Santana? You home?" she called out.

No response.

It wasn't like them to leave the door unlocked and she knew she didn't this morning. Accidents happened, though, and she didn't want to let the paranoia win. Maybe she should've taken the time to realize she needed to listen to her gut instincts. When things screamed, "danger," there was some danger.

Shaking it off, Rachel flicked on the lights and headed for her bedroom. She opened the door and nearly jumped.

"Hello, Rachel. I think we need to talk."

Her head screamed at her to run, but her feet weren't moving.