the night of half-truths
Ruby kicked off her boots and sunk into the blush colored couch. She's sitting crisscross applesauce with her head balancing on her hands, which are propped up by her elbows balancing on her knees.
"Hi Ruby, is there something on your mind?" asks Dr. Shah.
"Hmm, just tired I guess," Ruby shrugs.
"How have you been sleeping?"
"Better," she answers. "We've been reading together before bed and I think that helps me settle down."
"Good, good," says Dr. Shah. "I have a few things that we could talk about today, but I'd like to know if you have something you'd like to discuss."
"Well, we decorated my room this weekend," Ruby says, hesitant if that was something that you talk about with a therapist.
She relaxed though when the woman nodded and said, "cool, let's talk about that."
"My dad's apartment was getting cleaned out last week so that the landlord could rent it again, so Kate and Rick took me to take anything that I wanted to keep, and to grab the rest of my clothes," Ruby says. "And then on the way home, they asked me if there was anything else I wanted and that I could decorate my room however I wanted. I didn't have a lot of stuff before, so we went to pick out some decorations, and a new chair for my reading nook. They also said I could paint the walls, but I said no. I don't want to mess up their house that much."
"What color would you have picked?"
"Maybe light purple, like lavender," Ruby shrugs. "But the walls are blue and the new bedding I picked out matches that so it's fine."
"If Rick and Kate said that you could paint it how you wanted, why do you feel like you'd be messing up their house?"
"I don't know," Ruby shrugs.
"Have they done anything to make you feel unwelcome?"
"No," Ruby shrugs. "I even met Alexis and Martha this week."
"Tell me about Alexis and Martha," says Dr. Shah.
"Oh, they were really nice and they both have red hair which is fun," Ruby says. "Alexis is Rick's daughter and she's 25 and she was on vacation in Spain with her friend which is why I didn't meet her until now. And Martha is Rick's mom and she was really funny and dramatic. We all had like a family dinner together and Martha gave me tips for my theater class."
"See, you said "family dinner", there. Do you feel like part of the family?"
"I guess so, but I've never really had a lot of family before. It was always just me and my mom and my dad, and then me and my dad, but now...I don't know," Ruby explains.
After she says that, tears start to well in her eyes but she fights the urge to let them fall.
"Ruby?" Dr. Shah says softly. "It's okay to cry."
"I know," she sighs. "I just don't want to cry because I'm not sad."
"Okay," says the therapist, offering Ruby the tissue box. Ruby sniffs and wipes her eyes. "What are you feeling?"
"Um," Ruby pauses. "Guilty, I guess."
"What do you feel guilty about?"
"Well, I do really miss my parents, I miss my dad, but Kate and Rick are just so nice and we do so many fun things and they get me whatever I want and I don't know I just feel like I'm replacing my parents."
"Ruby, your parents would want you to be happy," says the therapist. "You shouldn't feel guilty because Kate and Rick make you happy."
"I'm just not used to this yet," Ruby shrugs.
"Well, that is very understandable. You're going through lots of changes and that comes with lots of emotions," says the therapist. "What are some things that you think might help you navigate your guilt?"
"I don't really know because I feel like it's not rational," Ruby explains. "But it would help if I knew where I stood."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, after I stayed at Rick and Kate's for a few days, they asked if there was a friend that I'd rather stay with. I said no, so they let me stay. A few days later, a social worker came and asked me if I wanted to stay with Rick and Kate and I said yes, so they let me stay. A few weeks later, I'm decorating a bedroom and meeting their family members, but I don't know what that means. I don't know if that means I just live there now, how long I can stay, if they're like my parents, or what," Ruby elaborates.
"Okay, I understand now," says Dr. Shah. "I totally understand how that can feel confusing and nerve wracking. I think that this might be something that you should consider talking to Rick and Kate about."
"I'm afraid they won't want me anymore," Ruby admits. "I mean, why wouldn't they tell me how long I can stay?"
"Well, I think it's because they probably want you to stay as long as you want to stay," says the therapist. "I've worked with lots of kids who were in foster care or adopted, and I can tell you that the foster system is very complex and that sometimes, even parents don't have enough information to make long term promises."
"What does that mean?" Ruby asks.
"Well, it means that you should let Rick and Kate know how you're feeling. And then they might be able to share how they're feeling, too," says the therapist.
"Okay, that makes sense," Ruby nods. "I can do that."
"Great," says the therapist. "Before we wrap up, I do just want you to know that it's only been three weeks since all of this happened, with your dad, with Rick and Kate. Just give it time, and it will work out."
Ruby smiles in a small thanks to Dr. Shah, who gives her a soft pat on her shoulder as they walk out of the office. Kate and Rick are sitting together in the lobby, both perk up with smiles on their faces as Ruby appears.
"Hey, kiddo, ready to go?" Rick asks. "We were thinking of getting burgers for dinner."
"Could we go to Remy's?" Ruby asks with a hopeful grin. Kate and Rick both chuckle as they exit the office building and are met with the frigid first day of February air.
"I like how you think, Ruby," Kate says as they make their way toward the restaurant.
Ruby only learned of Remy's existence two weeks ago, but it was definitely her favorite restaurant in the city at the moment. The burger was huge, the fries were perfectly crispy, and she loved that they had about 50 different milkshake flavor combinations. Today, she'd decided on strawberry-banana, which reminded her of summertime even though it was well below freezing outside.
"Did your appointment go okay?" Kate asks as the server is passing out their milkshakes.
Ruby nods and says, "yeah, Dr. Shah's really nice." She could see the relief in Kate's face at her response. Kate had been the one to suggest Ruby talk to a therapist and when the girl agreed, she found Dr. Shah because she specialized in children who were orphaned, fostered, or adopted. Ruby doesn't talk to Kate and Rick about therapy much, but after this appointment, she'd gained more resolve to discuss what's been bothering her.
"I'm really glad to hear that," says Kate. "I know it's sometimes easier to talk to someone else, but we're both here for you to talk to about anything."
"I know," Ruby says with a warm smile. "I've really liked living with you guys, by the way. I mean, obviously the circumstances suck, but...I just wanted to say that."
"We've loved having you," Rick says, and Kate nods in agreement.
"So, Ruby, um, I have some news, about your dad's case, if you want to know," Kate says after clearing her throat.
"Did you find out who killed him?"
"Yes, we did. We had his fingerprints on your dad's body, so we've been looking for him for a few weeks, but he went on the run to another state. They finally found him in Colorado this morning," Kate explains.
"That's good, right?"
"Yes, that means he can be brought back here to face the charges," Kate smiles.
"Do you...do you know the reason yet? Why he killed him?"
"Well, I don't know everything yet, but he ultimately killed your dad for the money that he had," Kate says. "How much do you know about your dad's job?"
"I know that he worked at a factory that made some kind of machinery part and that they sold the part all over the world. And I know that he worked some extra shifts to pay for my treatments, but I thought he stopped that when I finished chemo in November," Ruby answers.
"You said that you thought he stopped? What makes you think that maybe he didn't?" Rick asks and Kate shoots him an ever-so-subtle glance.
"Sometimes he would text me during school and tell me to take the subway home because he wouldn't be able to make it in time to pick me up," Ruby elaborates. "But he didn't say why. Plus, he got me some really nice gifts for Christmas this year. Like way nicer than normal, even for Christmas."
"Okay, that's good to know," Kate says. "I don't know the exact reason yet, but I wanted you to know that we caught the man who killed your dad and that we'll know everything soon."
"Good," Ruby replies. "I think it'll help knowing the whole truth."
A somewhat tense fell over the table after that, as everyone finished their burgers and got to-go cups for the remainder of their milkshakes. It was as if each person had something they wanted to say, but hadn't found the right time to say it yet. One by one, they stood up to leave the diner, and after Rick laid down 100 bill on their table, they did just that.
"Why do you never ask for a bill and always give the server 100? It's probably only like 30 for all three of us," Ruby asks.
"Yes, that's true, but I'm very lucky to be able to give service workers a big tip that will hopefully make their day a little bit easier," Rick shrugs, realizing that Ruby had obviously grown up in very different financial circumstances.
"Well, that's really nice of you," Ruby accepts.
"Thanks, but it's not all that altruistic because I really want Remy's to stick around forever and if the customers tip well then the workers are more likely to want to keep working there," Rick says.
"Oh, well...still..."
"Is everything okay, kiddo?" Rick asks after seeing the frown that replaced Ruby's typical curious grin.
"Yeah, everything's fine," she says, cheeks rosy from both the cold and blushing at the nickname that Rick has given her.
They returned to a tense, quiet walk for a few blocks, but with the loft within sight, Kate finally speaks up again.
"Ruby, um, there is something else that I found out about your dad today," she says.
"Oh? Anything bad?" Ruby giggles.
"No, no, nothing bad," Kate chuckles. "How much do you know about your dad's family?"
"He didn't really have any," Ruby shrugs.
"Actually, he kind of does," Kate says. "He had a step-sister who lives in New Jersey."
"Jersey? Bleh," Ruby scoffs, eliciting a proud laugh from both Rick and Kate. "He never said anything about anybody from Jersey."
"He might not have known her that well," Kate says. "Apparently before your grandpa and grandma had your dad, your grandpa was married to someone else and they had a daughter together."
When they arrive at the front door of the loft building, Eduardo the doorman holds the entrance open and tips his cap as they walk through. Ruby and Kate thank him and Rick gives him a nod as they wait for the elevator.
"So, that means I have an Aunt? In New Jersey?" Ruby asks.
"Yes," Kate confirms. "Her name is Michelle. And, she has kids."
"Really? I have cousins?"
"You do. Three, actually. Two boys and a girl, all of them are close to your age, too."
"Wow, that's so cool. I've always wanted cousins," Ruby says with a huge smile.
The elevator delivers them to the top floor and Rick unlocks the front door of the loft. The next few hours are spent helping Ruby with her math homework, debating about how to even do Ruby's math homework, fighting about whether Rick or Kate is better at math, calling Alexis to confirm that Kate was right about how to do Ruby's math homework, Kate and Ruby making jokes about Rick not having to do 6th grade math since the Great Depression, Ruby asking if she could read the Nikki Heat books, Rick and Kate agreeing that she could, and then, finally, getting ready for bed.
"Hey Kate," Ruby says before heading upstairs. "Do you think I'd be able to meet my aunt and cousins some time?"
"Yeah, of course," Kate says. "I can call her tomorrow, if you'd like."
"Would we have to go to New Jersey?" Ruby asks.
"We might," Kate says. "But not if I can help it."
"Good," Ruby shrugs. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Ruby," Kate says.
"Sleep tight, kiddo," Rick says.
After Ruby disappears up the stairs and they hear her bedroom door click shut, Rick and Kate walk into their bedroom and close the door so that Ruby is out of earshot.
"Kate," Rick sighs. "We have to tell her."
a/n: hope you all have a great weekend! i appreciate all your comments and feedback :)