So, here I am with another chapter for TTM! I know not as many read this compared to my other stories, but eh, its all good! Still enjoy writing!
Not sure how long this one will be, but I think it could be fun!
Chapter 42: The Alberona Variations
Earthland 28-531-CA
Magnolia, July 17th 784
A familiar guild hall stood at the northern end of the city, its tall towers and flags fluttering with the symbol of the local guild.
Sunlight poured down on Fairy Tail, the previous night of rain adding a mixture of moisture and humidity as the members inside decided on jobs, ate, or in the case of Cana…read.
"Interesting" turning the page with a flick of a finger, the brunette used her free hand to pick up the mug of beer frothing with foam and condensation. A small sip was taken, the card mage setting it back down on the polished bar as she continued to read the tome.
"Cana? What are you reading?" Mira inquired, the beautiful barmaid drying off a different glass as her sister carried a plate of food to the Thunder legion.
Turning to face the silver haired woman in a maroon dress, Cana gave a small smile. "It's a research book about the possibility of different worlds. Ever since we returned from Edolas with your long lost brother, I've been fascinated by the concept. What if there were other Earthlands? Or other Edolas's? Just think about every decision you or I make everyday? Or Natsu? Or Erza and Wendy?" Pointing toward the redhead knight and twelve year old girl talking at a table across the hall, Cana continued. "Erza could have been born with blue hair, and Wendy red. Or maybe our resident re-quip mage used gun magic instead. There could be infinite Earthlands out there, some so strange and fantastic we couldn't imagine!" Taking another deep drink of her beer, Cana became more animated. "If I can figure out how, I could travel to those worlds! Just think of the infinite possibilities!"
Mira slowly nodded, understanding in her eyes. "I think I get it, but wouldn't there be bad choices or outcomes too? What if Lisanna had been sent to Edolas instead? She could have been killed by Knightwalker there. Sure, Elfman is a muscle head now, but he practically thrived there" Cocking her thumb, her younger brother was flexing near the wall, earning a few claps from Laki who had a very apparent crush on the muscular man.
"MANLY!"
Cana sighed, eyeing the half filled mug. "You're right on that account. If my theory is correct, every outcome is possible, bad and good" Taking another light sip, she found her spot on the page. "But I wouldn't even know where to begin…could take me years of research"
"Well, if you ever need my help or the guilds, just let us know! We're family after all!" Smiling brightly, Mira walked toward the far end of the bar to take an order from Bisca and Alzack.
Glad to hear that her friends supported her farfetched idea, Cana continued to read about the many worlds theory, only to halt by shouting insults coming from the far end of the guild.
"What did you say about my breasts!" Lucy shouted, slamming her forehead against Levy's own with a 'thwack' of sound.
"I said they're saggy like an old hag! Not voluptuous like mine!" Tracing her hand downward, the blue haired busty bombshell was wearing a blue tank top, the material barely containing the double D's. Wearing a green skirt that ran down long, shapely legs, it was no wonder why Levy was considered one of the most beautiful women in the guild…and the rival of Lucy. Some of the exposed cleavage jiggled with movement, the equally tall McGarden receiving numerous stares from males across the room.
"YOU MUST MEAN YOUR WHORE TITS!"
"AT LEAST I DIDN'T TRY TO SELL MY BODY FOR A CRAPPY KEY!" growling, both women practically produced sparks of rivalry.
"TAKE IT OFF!" Wakaba yelled, only to get a chair thrown his way by the two furious females, their eyes like fire.
"Now now, ladies. No need to get angry" Master Makarov tried to say calmly, the older man walking forward in a placating tone.
Both women turned, flames in their eyes.
"Stay out of this, master"
Makarov took the hint, throwing his hands in the air and walking away. "Well! I tried my best!"
Natsu blinked, watching the old man walk away from his table and plate of steaming meat. "No, you didn't. All you did was get scared"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE! I DARE YOU TO TRY AND BREAK UP THOSE TWO!" Pointing, both Lucy and Levy were back to throwing insults, mostly about their unconfirmed activities with multiple men in back alley's.
"That's it! I'm kicking your ass, blue skank!"
"I'd like to see you try, flab tits!"
Mira giggled, watching from behind the bar as the two started to brawl, instantly pulling in Erza who had tried to calm the raging females, only to get her hair pulled. "Those two always start fights, reminds me of myself and Erza when we were younger" Giggling once more, the barmaid reminisced about the past with her old rival.
"Don't know why they can't just fight outside? But, it is kind of funny" Chuckling lightly, Cana watched the roiling fight as the three women tried to get advantage over each other.
"Hey Natsu? Wanna fight? Start a guild brawl? After all, Erza's distracted" Gray said loudly from a nearby table, the ice mage punching a fist into his open palm as mists of ice formed.
Natsu looked up, his mouth stuffed with food as Happy sat nearby, the cat enjoying a small fish. Tracking his eyes as Erza defeated both Lucy and Levy, the knight was making a beeline to Gray, intent on securing peace in the guild.
"Nope! I'm good with this delicious lunch, right Happy?"
"You're just scared of Erza" the cat retorted.
Laughing awkwardly, Natsu dismissed the notion of fear…only to have the mentioned knight put a renewed sense of terror in Gray for trying to expand the fight.
"Wait! I was just kidding!" Waving his arms frantically, the ice mage was headbutted, falling to the floor in a crumple.
Standing over the prone form of Gray with a boot on his back, the beautiful redhead turned her gaze to Natsu, her stoic appearance gaining a small smile. "I'm proud of you Natsu, you refrained from breaking the rule's"
"Uh yeah…the rules" Laughing awkwardly, he shoveled more food into his maw. "No way could I beat that ice stripper when she was so close! Dammit Lucy, you should've expanded the brawl!" Glancing over to the busty blonde, Lucy was sprawled out on the floor, mere feet away from Levy.
"You bitch…you got Erza involved…" Levy gasped, the woman's ample chest rising with each breath.
"I…I would've ignored you, but this top is cute…and you made fun of my shopping…choices" Pointing, the shirt was white with a blue stripe, showing peaks of cleavage and rising breast flesh.
"Doesn't matter…I'm still super hot…ow, I think Erza punched my boob" continuing to lay there, the rivals simply hoped Erza would forget about them.
"Remember you two, the guild has rules for a reason. I just don't understand why you can't end your rivalry" Running a hand through her hair, Erza was the picture of justice as most of the members simply avoided her.
Sparks appeared in the middle of the guild hall a moment later, a crackling of blues and reds that appeared out of nowhere.
"What the hell!? Am I drunk already!?" Picking up the glass, Cana peered through the amber liquid as the hail of sparks and crackling lightning continued.
"Defend the guild, Fairy Tail!" Makarov shouted, the old man rallying the mages just as a swirling portal appeared near the middle support beam.
What happened next was a shock to all as the portal flashed with a renewed aura of blue sparks.
Three Cana's emerged from the portal, each with flowing brunette hair. Wearing identical white coats with matching brown pants and dark shoes, the trio stopped. The numbers 45622-C, 329901-ZH, and 7756884-K, were identifiable across each of the Cana's left breast, the symbols a deep red of embroidery. Two held silver looking rifles, the barrels glowing with a light blue as the women held them tightly against their chests, their gaze's stern. Each had a silver looking sidearm along the right hand hip, the weapon resting in a simple holster.
The lead Cana had a utility belt around her slim waist, the pouches filled with unknown contents. On each hip a holstered side arm sat, the weapons a stylized silver or deep red depending on which you looked at.
"W…what the…" Looking at the glass of beer, then Mira, Cana was in disbelief. "What did you put in my drink!? I'm seeing triple of myself! Is this some Mira plot to get me dating Laxus?"
"We all see them" Laxus retorted, the lightning mage staring with intent as Mira frantically waved her hands while shaking her head in denial.
"OH GOD! THEY'RE GONNA DRINK ALL THE BOOZE AND MAKE ME APPEAR IN ALCOHOL ADS!" Levy wailed, the blunette jumping up with a large heave of her chest. "I ONLY APPEAR IN SWIMWUIT ADS FOR SORCERER WEEKLY!"
"Neutralize the Levy" One of the Cana's turned, aiming the rifle and firing. Beaming light of blue shot out, covering the woman head to toe in ice. Freezing in place, the busty script mage was frozen solid with her finger pointed.
Erza narrowed her gaze, the sheening statue of Levy silent and pristine in the guild hall. Raising her blade, the knight scowled. "Whoever you are, I will not allow you to kill my family! Rarrgh!" Charging forward toward the trio with her blade held high, the sheening metal sparkled from rays of sunlight pouring through the guild windows.
A second stream of ice slammed into Erza, freezing the woman solid in a mere eyeblink.
"ERZA! NO!" Jumping with his fists lit on fire, Natsu tried to reach the trio of brunettes, only to be frozen solid by a third beam that snuffed out his flames in an instant. Falling forward with a thunk, Natsu hit the floor, his immobility complete.
Cana gulped, fearing these three who turned her way.
"What…what do you want?" the brunette croaked out, knowing that anybody dispatching Erza that quickly was not to be trifled with.
The leader stepped forward, her identical face devoid of the usual mirth and teasing. "Cana of Earthland Two Eight Five Three One CA, the Council of Cana's needs your assistance in stopping a threat to the Central Cana Curve"
45622-C piped up, the rifle still pointed at numerous members that displayed hostility and virulent sneers. "Not to be confused with the fake Council of Cana's that harvested the souls of worlds due to their shapeshifting vampire form's"
Cana looked on with shock, her mind reeling from the situation of madness. "Wh…what? Vampires?"
"Ignore that. Your help will save the known Canaverse, but if you refuse, your world could face possible destruction"
"AFTER YOU KILLED MY FRIENDS!? YOU HAVE SOME NERVE YOU BITCH!" Throwing down the mug, it shattered, spilling beer and booze across the guild floor.
"That poor beer" Shaking her head, 45662 displayed remorse to the spilt drink as 329901 did the same, the look of sorrow over spilt alcohol getting to each of them.
"They are merely in stasis. We will unfreeze them before departure. Do you accept the mission to save the Canaverse?"
Cana simply nodded after that realization, her anger rapidly evaporating and relief filling her heart that her friends would be unharmed. One of the Cana's pulled her silver sidearm and pointed at mid air, her face impassive. A flash of light formed a new portal, the swirling blues and reds dancing with sparks of electricity.
"Let's go" Waving her rifle, 45622 prompted Cana to carefully step forward, her fear palpable. Reaching out her hand, she tried to touch the swirling portal…only to be pushed through by 77884.
"We don't have time for this shit" Unholstering the red tinted sidearm, the lead Cana pointed to Erza and fired, the eruption of a red beam melting the ice in seconds.
Spluttering as she fell to the floor, two more beams melted the ice coated Natsu and Levy. Disoriented and coughing, the mages could only watch as the Cana's left, leaving nothing in their wake except confusion.
Evergreen blinked, having watched the insanity unfold in a mere minute of time. "Okay. What the hell just happened?"
Unknown Universe. The Fortress of Cana, Deep space
Cana almost tripped over her own feet as she emerged from the portal, the blue bikini top begging to break free. "Gah! No need to push…me…" Having reoriented among the other versions of herself, Cana stared, the mage taking in the full view of where she was.
Right now, she was standing on a central platform of white, high tech material and glowing green lines. A connecting bridge led across a chasm to numerous buildings that sheened with metallic white and shimmering glass, their height stretching far beyond anything she had seen. Countless neon signs blazed with reds, blues and greens, advertising everything from bottles of rum to the latest cute tops of clothing.
Floating television screens bobbed among the buildings, their levitation pads humming as different versions of Cana advertised products, services and even the local news.
"Buy Cana's super booze! It'll fuck you up!"
"Need to seduce a man? Just take off your clothes! I'll teach you how!"
"Healthy alcohol! Heal that liver!"
"Today in sector 7-F, a horrible water accident resulted in over a dozen Cana's unable to satisfy their booze intake. Psychiatrists are assisting with the tragedy. The foreman, Cana Alberona was too sober for comment"
"This…this is insane…" barely whispering the words with wide eyes, she tracked a version of herself with red hair flying between the buildings on some sort of hover bike. Pushing through some standing hologram between two buildings, the pixels flowed as the redhead sped away with bottle in hand.
Craning her head upward as several strange craft flitted above at high speed, the woman gasped while tuning out the blaring advertisements.
A clear, expansive dome loomed overhead, showing a roiling gas giant of swirling browns and blues. Rings circled the planet, a stellar beauty of serenity as a distant star burned among the night sky.
"Wh…where the hell am I?" Cana stuttered as she looked at the trio, shock and disbelief threatening her mind.
884-K smirked, cocking her hip in a very Cana way. "The fortress of Cana in deep space. We built it after hundreds of us came together to provide a safe place for our awesome intellect and to protect ourselves from those wishing to steal our knowledge. Specifically, the development of interdimensional travel. You wouldn't believe the crazy maniacs that want that piece of tech. Now come on, we can walk and talk on the way" Pushing ahead, the leader walked briskly across the bridge, practically pulling the disoriented Cana with.
Reaching the other side, Alberona stared at a large fountain surrounded by at least a dozen different versions of herself, each dipping in large glass mugs. Gurgling brown liquid flowed and splashed down the chiseled form of Laxus, the stone monument holding an outstretched hand.
"OHHH! Free beer! I love this place!" *Hic* downing a full tankard, one of the Canas grinned as two more drank greedily from the beer fountain.
"And down the godly abs of Laxus! Ohhh…I should go show him a good time, hehehe!" Giggling like a pervert, one of the Cana's pulled out a portal gun, but dropped it in the pool of beer. "OH NO! THE BEER!" Jumping in, the lush drank as others cheered on.
"They would do that with Laxus?" Keeping the inner words to herself, Cana could instantly tell what type of liquid was frothing and brewing before her.
"You set up a free beer fountain?"
884-K Shrugged without a care, sidestepping around two blue haired Cana's that had passed out in the middle of the street. "We enjoy our booze. Besides, we only have ten alcohol fountains. Rum and Vodka are in sector 3-C if you want a drink after our mission" Keeping straight down a wide boulevard, the group walked past numerous statues of Cana Alberona, the monoliths large and intimidating. Most had different hairstyles and clothing, a rampant difference of worlds.
"Who are they?"
"They're us, obviously" 622-C quipped with snark, the brunette keeping her freeze rifle close as the other laughed.
"You know what I mean" Eyeing a Cana with a tail and cat ears, Alberona tried to not stare at the female/feline hybrid that quickly ducked into a shop advertising cat nip narcotics. Swinging her head to the left, a trio of Cana's stumbled out of a bar, one of them with green skin and blonde hair that flowed like silken grain. Tripping onto the road before the walking group, the green skinned lost her grip on the bottle, the brown alcohol gurgling out.
"Wh…what are you *hic* Lookin' at you normal? Never seen a…an emerald Cana? Hehehe…urk…" rolling over, she vomited as the group moved on, the guards simply sidestepping the lush before continuing the conversation.
"Founders of the Council of Cana's. They're the originals that discovered multiversal travel in the Central Cana Curve"
"You mentioned that, but what is it?" Cocking her head as an old man in a lab coat and a teenage boy in a yellow shirt rushed past, the two looked frantic. Holding a box of booze with over two dozen bottles, the teenager looked terrified.
"RUN MORTY! They're the Cana's! Grandpa can't pay for all this awesome booze! It'll fuck you up!" Shooting his own portal gun at a nearby wall, the fissure swirled green as the duo ran, dropping a few bottles.
"STOP THE RICK! HE STOLE OUR FREE ALCOHOL!" Four Cana's pursued, firing their rifles as they rushed after the criminals. One took a knee, lining up a shot, but missed as a drunk Cana stumbled in the way, freezing the woman in place.
"Awe jeeze! This is messed up, Rick! Can't we just pay?"
"You're an idiot Morty! Grandpa doesn't pay for anything! I'm a fucking god Morty and your nothing you annoying piece of shit! Now run so I can get shitfaced after dealing with your dumb ass!" Jumping into the swirling portal, the two disappeared in a flash, leaving a trail of broken booze bottles behind.
"Uh…who were they?" Cana asked as they turned right down a side corridor, the woman cocking her thumb to the crime scene and police officer Cana's already investigating. Dressed in skimpy, stripper cop outfits, nothing was really left to the imagination as the police took pictures of the deceased bottles and broken glass.
"Assholes. Don't worry about it" Pressing her palm against a scanner, 884-K waited as the door slid open, revealing a room with more blue tinted rifles, pieces of technology, and other equipment.
Stepping inside, Cana watched as the two guards left, letting the door seal shut with just herself and Cana 884-K.
Crossing her arms beneath her bikini clad breasts, Cana absentmindedly pushed them upward, making them larger while cocking her hip. "Okay, You bring me here, say the Canaverse is in danger, and all this craziness of some Cana citadel is madness. So, explain" Showing she was done with any further delay, Cana watched her double cross the room, picking up a small, square box that glowed purple.
"Our scanners picked up a group that has a Levy in some uncontrolled travel of the multiverse. We've managed to plot her next stop, and we need your help arresting her to face judgment by the council"
Cana scoffed, dismissing the idea. "Levy? Really? She's more concerned about looking hot and showing off her body in magazines. Not exactly a genius or a criminal"
"True. My Levy is the same, except she stars in adult videos for money. Tall, busty…she's famous for fucking. Idiot got kicked out of the guild for that, not that she cares. But this Levy! This one is from outside the Canaverse! She's…actually, nobody knows much about her" Resting a slender finger on her full, bottom lip, 884-K contemplated for a few brief seconds before waving her hand in dismissal. "Whatever, it's just Levy. I'm sure she's just the low intelligent sidekick to the Cana she's with" Pointing to the rookie, the brunette grinned with a slight hunger. "That's who we need! Another Cana with genius intellect! We secure this lost team and bring them here for processing and re-education!"
"Re-education? Processing?" Not liking the implication, Cana felt herself stiffen.
"Relax, it sounds worse than it is. But basically some Cana's end up with the wrong man. I mean, could you imagine us dating Gray? Or Natsu? Or that Bacchus drunk? Nope, we just help these lost Cana's to the arms of Laxus!"
"Natsu doesn't sound too bad. But isn't it wrong to change people's desires or hearts?" Keeping silent, Cana watched her double fiddle with that glowing purple box, the sides pulsing with strange symbols.
"What about the rest of this Cana's lost team? Pushing further, the novice was really unsure of her role among all this technology that she could only dream of.
Her double shrugged, setting down the cube shaped tech. "Eh, we'll just drop them on some random Earthland missing their doubles after a bit of therapy and all that. Problem is, we don't know who's with this Cana aside from Levy. That's why we need your help, rookie!"
"Oo…kay? But what can I do? You know way more about this than I do?" Confusion set in, Alberona wondering what she could do to help these space age Cana's.
"I can explain that. But it will take awhile to go over your role in this mission"
Walking over to one of the counters lined with technology, Cana leaned her well toned ass against the edge, regaining her demeanor while crossing her arms. "Go ahead. It's not like I can leave until this is done anyway"
"Great! Now I'll explain how we're hidden geniuses and how you will eventually develop multiverse travel! Then, the mission!" uncorking a flask, 884-K drank, relishing the taste of cherry rum.
Universe 100000567-998T. Dallas, the Republic Of Texas, 2018 (Two days later)
Scorching summer heat made the city suffer, the heat waves wafting off the pavement as cars drove by. Most of the locals were in their homes, the air conditioning blasting.
But despite the heat, restaurants and eateries were open, offering a cool place to eat and drink as the city bustled on the flow of work and capitalism.
A corner restaurant was currently undergoing a surge of strangeness, the customers and staff looking at the strangers with odd curiosity.
Sitting in the corner booth, Levy, Cana, Lucy and Bisca of Earthland One Three Seven J sat, none bothering to change out of their combat armor or even store their rifles. Keeping the weapons attached to the magnetized back plate of their armor, the four women tried to get comfortable in the booth.
The fact the upholstery was designed like pizza was an oddity in itself. But the table? That was basically a giant pepperoni erected on straws.
"And what can I get you…ladies?" The six foot tall corn man asked, his waiter suit wrapped around the yellow kernels of his skin. With arms covered in more kernels and spindly width, the limbs were pretty standard for a corn cob man.
Levy peered at the menu, her scar pulling at her left cheek as her blue tinted goggles rested upon her head. Glancing at Lucy, the blonde had a pockmarked scar around her left eye socket, the orb within a dull red as she too read the menu.
"Hmmm…" Bisca hummed, the greenette thankful for her trusty cowgirl hat hiding the long scar along the length of her skull. Caused by a Stabber within the belly of the riftworm, she had been fortunate the bone-like limb hadn't pierced her skull.
Obviously, it had been a horrific ordeal, but the Stabber had been slain despite the event occurring years ago.
Cana rubbed her chin, absentmindedly tracing the scar tissue that dragged from the corner of her mouth to mid neck.
"Okay. I'll have a medium couch with extra stuffing, then some cheese pillows and a chair cocktail" Levy finally ordered, folding the menu and leaning back in the booth.
"I guess…A recliner with a side dish of cushions, and beer" Lucy stated next, the blonde handing the menu away.
"I'll have the same as Levy" Cana simply shrugged, the brunette not really caring.
"Two dining chairs for me, and some cheese pillows as well. Beer is fine" Bisca finished with a forced smile.
"Very good. I'll get your order in right away" Walking away, the sentient corn man tried to divert the other patron's gazes, their corn like eyes studying the strange humans in their midst.
"You know, I can handle talking bears, or gun toting dinosaurs waging a war against invading space sloths, but this is weird" Cana admitted, the woman looking at a pair of staring children cobs that pointed and laughed.
"Such is the multiverse. I just hope the portion sizes are normal and not actual furniture sized. Booze selection sucks though" Levy admitted as she raised her dimensional timer. "Enough time to eat though. We shift in ninety minutes."
"At least these corn people aren't trying to dissect us or something" Bisca muttered, the woman brushing a few green strands away.
"They're corn people, Bisca. We can just burn them and they'll pop their kernels" Levy joked, before seriousness took over her visage as she stroked her chin in contemplation. "Unless the kernels are their skin, and it reveals some sort of corn monster beneath?"
"Don't even think that! After the last world of those…floating eye ball things…" Lucy shuddered, then leaned back against the cushioning herself, pinching her nose. "At least you kept Booze Barrel in the digistruct. I can't deal with your insane, blue skinned watermelon right now"
"Hey, he's great! Or did you forget how he revived us all after that giant marsh mellow man stepped on us in New York!"
"Ugh….I hate that city. It sucks every time" Bisca groaned as her stomach rumbled, eager for food furniture.
Levy scowled, ignoring the corn people stares. "Should've called him Normal Face. Damn it…that's a cool name" Resenting herself for randomly picking the names out of a hat in a drunken stupor, Levy knew it was too late now. "Maybe I should've challenged Cana in a drinking contest back then? No…that's…wait…I would've won that!"
"Dammit! I could've beaten Cana in drinking!" Shouting, Levy gained new looks of concern from her friends, but most ignored the crazy.
"So…Texas here stayed independent of the United States? Even with corn people?" Bisca asked, her eyes shifting to a few patrons that stared back.
"I guess?" Lucy admitted as she propped up her chin with her right hand, the elbow firmly planted on the table of pepperoni. "Not like it's the first one we've seen. Remember that last Republic of Texas? They stretched to southern California and Baja, then had taken half of Mexico in the third Texan war during 1905. Even had a few colonies in Africa"
Cana shrugged, not really caring. "Big fucking deal. It's just another random Earth for us"
The drinks arrived, the corn man waiter setting them down with grace.
"AH! Finally!" picking up her cocktail, the glass was shaped like a tiny chair, the mixed booze sloshing within. Drinking eagerly, Levy gulped it down in one go then held up the glass to the waiter. "Another, but make it more…booze like"
"Of course, ma'am"
"You could've savored it for like… a minute!" Chugging her own drink, Cana's disappeared just as fast. "Another!"
"Would you also like…more booze within your drink?" Speaking elegantly, the waiter took the glass as his big, corn eyes blinked.
"YES!"
"By the space pope, you two drink fast. Like you're getting ready for a night of drunk fucking with Natsu" Bisca chided, but then, really couldn't blame the two after the last universe. "Stupid…floating eyeballs! Why were they so big! And shooting lightning! Then the tentacles…."
Bisca drank deeply too, but refrained from finishing the whole glass. Looking at her friends, the greenette slowly nodded, an idea forming. "So…I think the next Natsu we meet, we seduce. Even if he has a wife or whatever, we make it fun"
"I'm down with that" Cana admitted, the possibilities already playing in her mind's eye.
"No forcing him though. We deal with enough alien rapist things and vile bandits trying to do that to us" Lucy added, earning errant nods from the other women.
"No shit, Lucy. We're not monsters. We just happen to slaughter them with extreme violence and hilarity!" Starting to tear up, Levy looked at the empty table. "I miss my chair booze…"
The waiter retuned with refilled drinks and plates of food. "Your…extra booze, ma'am"
"And my couch!" Eagerly eyeing the small piece of furniture that sat on a mushroom plate, the meal steamed as cheese melted. "Oh yeah!" grabbing a fork, Levy took a bite of the armrest, chewing with contentment.
"This is pretty good!" Lucy exclaimed between chewing, the tiny recliner pile of food earning satisfaction. Taking a bite of pillow, the blonde watched her friends eat with gusto.
Bisca took a bite of the cheese pillows, the side dish steaming. Swallowing with satisfaction, the woman gave a nod. "It's normal cheese. Just…pillow shaped" Taking another bite, Bisca ate greedily, the four multiversal travelers sating their hunger inside the restaurant among staring corn people.
"This is madness" Staring out the window of the flying transport, Cana watched as…corn people walked along the street of this strange, alien world called Earth. Bobbing and weaving with bright, yellow kernels, the sentient corn went about their day.
"Get ready, rookie. We need you to convince this uninitiated Cana to join us and return to the fortress" Another Alberona voiced from a nearby seat, the woman wearing a white coat and carrying another of those ice rifles.
"Uh…yeah" Fiddling with her own white jacket and utility belt, Cana found it extremely snug as her large breasts strained the fabric. Absentmindedly grabbing a tablet, it was locked, the prepared statement unread. Gulping, Cana looked at the five other versions of herself in the cabin…and the lone Gajeel sitting near the rear ramp without a shirt. Wearing only black pants and heavy boots, the heavily pierced man with metal studs over his body grinned her way with a wink.
"Why is there a Gajeel here?" Cana asked again, her curiosity palpable among the rapid flight over low rooftops to the target location.
The man heard her, flexing his pecs with a seductive grin. "Obviously to seduce Levy. She's crazy about me and I'll sex the pants off her" Giving a light thrust of his groin, the dragon slayer laughed.
"We've found it easier to bring in Gajeel with these lost Levy's. After all, they share a bond throughout most of the Central Cana Curve" Taking a small sip of brandy, the armed Cana grinned. "He'll seduce her, give her some Dragon Dick, and while that happens, we bring this new Cana into the fold" Resting a hand and Cana's shoulder, the identical twin tried to be reassuring. "Don't worry, this is a standard mission. I did the same thing when I first joined and now have over thirty retrieval operations under my belt"
Cana simply nodded, the words a light reassurance as she went over the mission in her head again. "Just bring in the other Cana and the others with her. Reports say Lucy, Bisca and Levy so they should be easy to deal with"
"Yeah…this will be easy. Just…finding my multiversal legs" Reassuring herself with an awkward laugh, the craft titled slightly as the humming increased in pitch.
"Fusion cells. Energy shields and orbital construction. Planetary engineering and biological science…I could change my world for the better in a few years!" Smirking at the sudden advanced knowledge she would gain, Cana waited as the craft finally settled in the street.
"Let's go Strike Team Cana! We have a Cana to save!" Hitting a switch, the ramp lowered, letting the six women disembark into the hot, blazing sun of the Texas summer.
"ALRIGHT! TIME TO…SEDUCE!" Running into the street bare-chested, Gajeel ran to the restaurant door as corn people stared in shock.
"You heard Gajeel! Let him do his thing!" the team leader shouted as she hefted her rifle, rushing into the establishment.
Cana followed, pulling the information tablet from the pouch on her hip. Rushing toward a table, it was easy to identify the four women.
"You're up, rookie"
The novice stepped forward, the freezing rifles pointed at the versions of her friends eating cheese coated furniture. Cana took the details in a flash, noting the heavy armor and battle scars while the four slowly turned their attention her way.
"No way that's Levy. She's way too short! And Lucy? What happened to her eye?" Staring for a moment at the blonde, the red iris stared back, set among a ruin of scar tissue among the socket.
"Whoever the fuck you are, we're eating" Levy stated, the scarred blunette shoveling more pieces of cheese furniture in her mouth, then washing it down with some chair shaped drink.
Feeling a hard nudge from one of the others, Cana unlocked the tablet with a scanned thumbprint and began to read while centering her gaze on the bluenette.
"Levy McGarden. You're under arrest for the illegal theft of dimension technology from a Cana Alberona. Illegal distribution of technology to uninitiated Earthlands…uh…FOURTEEN COUNTS OF GENOCIDE!? Seriously!?" Spinning on her heel, Cana was shocked while her double shook her head.
"Keep reading the crimes, Rookie Cana"
Gulping, she turned back, finding Levy staring at her blankly. "Uh…right. Fourteen counts of genocide. Eighteen counts of… planetary salvation?"
"It's illegal to save a planet without our permission" One Cana explained while aiming her rifle at Bisca.
"Right. Five hundred twelve counts of looting. Eight counts of inciting riots. Forty three counts of assassination. Thirty nine counts of illegal genetic research. One count of endangering a Cana. And finally, failure to engage in sexual activity with Gajeel"
"THAT'S WHY I'M HERE! SEX THRUST!" Running forward, Gajeel interlocked his fingers behind his head, thrusting his groin toward Levy as he grinned with lust.
"Oh…oh god…this is terrible…" Going green in the face, the short woman looked ready to vomit as corn cob people fled from the restaurant in fear.
"We understand these are horrible crimes, but once we purge your emotions and mind, we will return you to your stupid, bimbo self. Then you can be rehabilitated for marriage with your original Gajeel. Lucy and Bisca will of course, be reprogrammed for inclusion into a Laxus harem" Squad Leader Cana rapidly explained, the brunette slightly lowering her guard. Tracking her gaze to her twin sitting at the table, she tried to smile. "We will of course, bring you into the Council of Cana's. Your intellect and genius in developing multiverse travel will only make us stronger"
"HOW ABOUT THE SEX! TIME TO RIDE THE DRAGON, LEVY! YEAAAAHHHHH!" Flexing his muscles, Gajeel merely grinned with seduction at the short woman while thrusting his groin toward her.
The fact his bulge was highly visible made it even worse.
Levy vomited on the floor, the chewed up food and drink splashing across the floor near several Cana's boots of pristine, white material.
"Looks like somebody can't hold her liquor, hahaha!" Another Alberona laughed, earning a rippling chuckle from the strike team.
"Go and have sex with Gajeel. We have important Cana business to discuss…bimbo Levy" 884-K waved, her rifle slowly lowering as the blue lines of frost pulsed with light.
"Fuck. That" Pulling her Boltok in a flash of movement from her hip holster, Levy shot Gajeel in the face as he thrust, splattering brain and bone matter across three Cana's, including the rookie. Stunning noise boomed in the restaurant, stinking cordite and gunpowder wafting from the barrel as Levy raged. "NATSU IS MY MAN YOU DUMB BITCHES! AND I INVENTED MULTIVERSE TRAVEL, NOT CANA!" Grabbing her basket of cheese cushions, Levy shoved a few in her mouth with a feral haste in a final attempt to enjoy the snack.
Jumping through the nearby window with a shatter of paned glass and flying shards, the woman landed hard in the street. A barrier rippled lightly around her, a flaring light from an energy shield protecting the mad genius. Having spilled the cheese cushions on the sidewalk during the tumble, Levy shot up with rage at her lost meal. "Fuck! Right…ah… Quick! Steal their ride!" Running across the street through traffic, Levy made a beeline to the sleek, silver coated ship now surrounded by corn cops. A nose cannon underneath the cabin was dull gray, the weapon powered down as a few police cobs inspected with scrutinizing corn vision. Swept back gull wings with box like engines seemed to bake in the heat as Levy ran past the cops and up the open ramp of the craft. Rushing to the cabin, the pilot Cana gulped as the short woman pressed a heavy revolver to her temple with a crazed grin. "Yo…I need your ride. So, ask yourself if you want a new hole in your head"
Pilot Alberona gulped, her flight jacket showing beading sweat pooling toward her cleavage as she stared back at the deranged Levy. "Oh shit…you're a McGarden variant…"
"Yeah. Let's call me that. You have three seconds by the way" Pressing harder against the brunette's temple, the pilot nodded then bailed out the cabin door, tumbling into the street and running away.
"FUCK THIS! I Just joined the council for the free booze!" Rushing past the confused corn cops and restaurant, the pilot barely heard the yelling inside as she disappeared into an alley.
"Dammit! This is why we can't eat at restaurants! Way to go, Cana!" Lucy yelled as she unslung her rifle and leapt onto the table, kicking over her meal in a bid to escape.
"Don't blame me! Blame these dumb bitches!" Jumping through the now open window with Bisca, the woman stopped, looking back at her half drank alcohol still on the table. "My drink.."
"Forget it!" Bisca yelled as pulses of blue light came from the team of Cana's returning fire. Splashing against the surrounding street, or in the case of a bystander, freezing the corn cob solid, the two ran after their friends.
Cana slowly raised her hand to her right cheek, the skin warmed by the splattered brain matter of Gajeel. Eyes brimming in horrid realization, she started to hyperventilate…then began to scream as she stared down at the now faceless man still twitching on the floor in death spasms.
"SHIT! SHE'S A MCGARDEN!" The team leader shouted in fury as she activated comms. "Attention all units! MCGARDEN THREAT! MCGARDEN THREAT! EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND INTELLIGENT! NOT STUPID AT ALL! MAY HAVE A KILLER WATERMELON!" Ending the comm, she grabbed her screaming self covered in bits of Gajeel brain matter. "Let's go rookie! We need to kill that blue bitch and capture that Cana for reprocessing!"
"But…but GAJEEL!" Cana screamed out, her throat hitching as she looked down at the dead body of her friend.
"Forget him! He was just a sex addict anyway!" Rushing out the restaurant door with the team, all the Cana's fired at their rising ship as the engines hummed with fusion power of the street. Flashes of blue bolts chilled the air, cutting through the Texas heat like a knife. Some struck nearby buildings, icing over the corners and facades like a wall of glacialization.
"Fuck you all, dumb bitches!" Levy shouted while leaning out the window, her erratic smile marred with insanity. Firing her Boltok erratically, she struck two corn cops, the damaged kernels popping and flying toward the pavement.
"OH GOD! MY KERNELS!
"CALL A MEDIC! WE HAVE POPCORN!" An officer screamed as the craft rose into the air with a hum of engines. Flaring blue, the transport shot down the street, the flashing bolts of blue light ineffective.
"FUCK! Intel really dropped the bottle on this! A McGarden? HERE!? I thought it was just some idiot Levy that was just riding the coattails of a Cana!" Ranting, the leader turned as a trio of identical craft appeared over some low buildings, flying low and fast. Waving, one descended, the ramp already lowering before settling down among stopped traffic and gawking bystanders.
"Get in! We have to stop that crazy bitch!"
Running up the ramp, 531-CA was horrified and confused, her eyes wavering with terror as she grabbed a hanging strap for support along the left wall.
"Shit. A McGarden. Probably has infected the others with her madness" A Cana muttered, the woman standing next to the rookie.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" 531-CA screamed in a shout, the sudden stress nothing she's ever dealt with before.
884-K sneered, moving to a weapons rack along the far wall as the craft lifted, flitting through the air with a hum of speed. Grabbing a rifle and slamming in an energy pack, the barrel quickly took on a red glow, the lines of energy ebbing along the weapon. Turning to face the rookie, the brunette strapped herself into a harness along the inner wall. Hugging around her slim waist and large chest, she hit the ramp retracting button as the craft flew faster.
"McGarden variant. Highly intelligent and brutally horrific. Typically in a Natsu centric harem and from far outside the Canaverse. I've read the reports on one encounter...pretty awful" Tapping her comms, 884-K spoke. "Lethal force is authorized. Try to save the Cana variation if possible"
Nodding as she got a reply through the comms, the brunette waited as the rushing air whipped her hair and the others nearby, tangling her locks before the ramp finally snapped shut in deadly pursuit.
McGarden yanked the stick left, tilting the craft between two apartment buildings as a stream of red light pulses flared past the gull wing. "Fucking dumb ass Cana's! Really, they came here to arrest me!?" Gritting her teeth with an angry grimace, Levy continued to evade their fire.
"Just who the hell are these women?" Cana asked as she took the passenger seat, strapping herself in and taking the firing stick while arming the cannon.
Jinking again in a high curve to the right, Levy sneered as more deadly red pulses of light flew past. Striking an office building, the laser light burned through a dozen offices, killing nearly thirty as glass and concrete rained to the street below.
"I'm more concerned with how they tracked us to this human corn planet! Or of all my supposed crimes!" Barrel rolling the craft in a wide loop, she almost clipped another tall building of glass. "Pardon my lack of using my fingers for air quotes! We all know I've never committed any crimes!"
"That's crap and you know it" assessing the weapon layout, she squeezed off a light burst to test the laser cannon. Rippling red light beams sliced through an overpass of a nearby freeway, raining down vehicles and concrete in a horrific disaster of screeching metal and burning cars.
"Seriously, who are these Cana's and why haven't I heard of them?" Alberona retorted as she flipped some more switches, bringing on the targeting reticle display.
"Because you didn't invent dimension travel, I did! But for them, those Cana's are the genius while I'm probably some stupid bimbo!" Pushing the stick forward, Levy flew the craft under an overpass, barely skimming over a semi-truck driven by some country corn bumpkin. Emerging from the other side, she tilted left, narrowly avoiding another stream of red energy bolts. "DAMMIT LUCY! SHOOT THOSE BITCHES DOWN!"
"That's insane to think about"
"Not really. For every universe I invent the dimensional tech, there is a universe where you did it. Or Lucy, or Elfman, or Erza! Every variation! Which means there's probably full councils of Erza's, and Juvia's or even Laxus!" Flying low to the road, several cars careened into nearby buildings in a panicked swerve, bursting into flames as the screams of popping corn wafted through the air. Flaring red light pulsed past the open window, pocking nearby pavement in a burning swath of heat. "YOU TWO BETTER BE SHOOTING!" Shouting toward the rear bay, Levy instinctively turned right down some boulevard crowded with a block party of corn people.
Lucy grit her teeth, already annoyed she didn't get to finish her meal. "Yeah! I heard you the first time you short bitch!" Activating her magnetic boots, Lucy heavily clomped toward the open rear bay door, the rushing wind waving her blonde hair as Bisca did the same.
"I can't believe we're being chased by some variations of Cana"
"I know. I just wanted a calm lunch"
Incoming laser fire impacted the troop seats past Lucy, the hardened plastic burning with the stench of melted odors. Flecks of material flew outward from the damage, striking both Bisca and Lucy as their energy barriers glowed from impacts.
Bisca fired, her lancer ejecting a staccato of bullets toward the closest pursuit craft. Jinking and dodging as the stream of tracers flew past, the Cana's unleashed a fresh wave of laser fire at the multiversal travelers.
"Damn these skanks" Pushing anger into her red eye, the orb among the scar tissue glowed a sinister crimson that sparkled for a brief moment. Suddenly bursting forth, a heated lance of deadly light sundered the air. Burning through the first pursuing aircraft and no doubt the Cana's inside, the vehicle took horrendous damage. Falling to one of the many streets below, the craft skidded and bounced along the pavement before slewing into a bridal store.
Exploding in the next few moments, it consumed nearly three dozen corn cob civilians, roasting them as their kernels popped in a gruesome, sickening display.
"Dammit! Shoot them down, Cana!" 884-K shouted as they flew over the billowing smoke and funeral pyre of ten variants burning in the ruins of the bridal store below.
"I'm on it!" Grabbing the targeting stick as the pilot continued to jink and evade incoming gunfire, Cana 9007856-Y grinned savagely as she finally achieved weapons lock. "Think we'll let some McGarden escape? Cana's own the multiverse!" Squeezing the trigger, a long stream of laser light flew across the sky, ripping through the criminal's left wing and engine. Smoke and ash billowed from the damage, tilting the craft as the women inside tried to do something about it. "HIT! Got a hit! They're going down!"
884-K slapped a gloved hand on the gunner's shoulder, approval joining the smirk. "Good shooting. Maybe we can salvage this mission after all" Watching the damaged craft skid along a wide boulevard while damaging some cars, the vehicle slewed through a throng of pedestrians, leaving trails of corn and disembodied kernels among the sudden screams and sundered pavement.
Coming to a rest in the middle of the heavy traffic throng, more smoke and ash billowed from the wreck as people ran and screamed.
"Set it down and be ready! Rookie! Cover us!" 884-K exclaimed as the two remaining pursuit craft hovered, then lowered with a humming flare of thrusters.
"O…Okay…" Gulping as a different Alberona pressed a red rifle into her arms, the novice grasped it unnaturally as the strike team thundered down the lowered ramp. Rushing onto the street behind the rest of the different Cana's, many slowly walked forward, their glowing red rifles ready and pointed at the wreck.
"Take cover, Rookie Cana! It's a McGarden after all!" 884-K shouted as she slowly advanced with four more of herself toward the burning wreck.
531-CA hid behind a wrecked sedan flipped on its side, the driver partially hanging out as his yellowed kernels heated and popped with a sickening fluidity. Fluffs of white popcorn flew past her, landing in the street as more wounded cried nearby at the horror of the crash.
"All these people…And for what?" Gulping as a half corn cob man tried to crawl from a nearby wreck, his inner entrails dragged as his kernels popped under the heat of leaking gasoline.
"H…help…m…ee…"
Dying in the next moment, 531-CA clutched the high tech rifle to her chest while closing her eyes from the horror.
"McGarden variant! Surrender your Cana and you will not be executed for crimes against the Canaverse!" Shouting as sirens wailed in the distance, 884-K had stopped at the corner of a city bus, her lithe form pressed against the transport as she watched the burning craft thirty feet away. Several more identical versions were stacked up along the bus, each ready to spring into action as the rest stopped in a wide semicircle.
"I can't believe this shit. All they're getting is some damn drunk with you" Levy retorted as she kicked at the windshield, the spiderwebbed glass cracking some more.
"Like your much better" Alberona retorted as she kicked outward herself, her boots cracking more of the material.
Lucy smashed the butt of her rifle against the pane, shattering it as more smoke and fire ate at the rear of the craft. Harsh and thick, she coughed alongside Bisca while noxious fumes built up in the cabin.
"These assholes really wanna reprogram us for Laxus? The fuck is wrong with them?" Climbing out slowly over the crumpled nose, Bisca almost tripped on rendered metal. Ducking low and rushing toward a car a few feet away, the emerald haired woman dismissed the body of corn laying across the hood among shattered glass and leaking kernel fluid. Working her way along the body toward the trunk, the rest of the group gathered. Taking a rapid glance of their position, Bisca saw a few more damaged wrecks around them, the gridlocked intersection creating a maze among the burning pyre of their now destroyed aircraft nearby.
Several pops came from behind her, the yellowed kernels of two adult cobs exploding into popcorn as the heat of the blaze licked at their corpses. Watching the white fluffiness pop and explode as more citizens fled the area, Bisca simply shrugged in uncaring observation. "I guess they just pop like regular popcorn? Still, I wonder how corn evolved into a sentient race here…and with the same technological path of normal humans"
Shouting came from her front, the bellow angry with feminine fury.
"LAST CHANCE, MCGARDEN! SURRENDER!"
Peaking over the hood of the wreck and past the burning inferno that had been the aircraft, Levy saw a line of nearly a dozen Cana's holding their position or taking cover among several cars.
"KISS MY ASS!" Shouting back, Levy brought up her digi-struct, rapidly searching through the stored items while humming a juanty tune.
"Soo…should we kill them all? We barely have ten minutes left here anyway?" Cana asked with a shrug.
"Meh" Bisca shrugged as she checked her longshot. Ensuring a round was loaded, she peered around the bumper.
"THAT'S IT! OPEN FIRE!"
Blazing snaps of red laser light suddenly filled the street, flying over several burned corn bodies and furrowed rubble. Splashing against the car the four were using as cover, the acrid stench burned as more pulses of light flew into nearby buildings, killing more innocents.
"That answers that!" Alberona added as she popped up, firing a stream of lancer rounds toward some random version of herself. Ripping through the woman's chest, the Cana died in a splutter of blood as her body fell to the intersection.
"I guess they do want us reprogrammed mentally to sexually service Laxus" Weary with regret, Bisca stabilized her rifle across the car's trunk, targeting a Cana running across the intersection toward a nearby store while firing her laser rifle. Burning blasts of red slewed the pavement near Bisca's boots, other heated beams burning against her cover as the enemy brunette shouted a profanity. "Too slow…" Squeezing the trigger as the rifle barked fire and noise, Bisca knew it was a kill by the exploding head a moment later.
Ducking down with a burned out sadness as more laser fire flew above her, Bisca ejected the spent round, the brass flinging away with a dance of sunlight. "Why can't they just leave us alone?" But then she realized it was the multiverse with every possible variation…including this group of mind shredding Cana's.
"DAMN RIGHT IT DOES! Jumping on the hood after a three second synapse misfire in reaction to Alberona's verbal response, Levy kicked the corn corpse away as she held up a red and white ball with a sinister grin, earning the gaze of several Cana's. Throwing it toward the group, McGarden smiled with a sense of insanity. "Claptrap! I choose you!"
Hitting the pavement, the ball broke apart in a flash and bang of smoke, unleashing the pokemon monster.
"What the…the hell is that?" 531-CA asked herself as she peeked out from behind cover toward the rear.
The smoke wafted away, showing a squat, box like robot on one wheel. His arms were thin and spindly while his paint coating was a dull, taxi yellow. A singular eye hummed, the camera inside feeding data to the robot's computer.
"A robot?" One Cana asked, the woman momentarily pausing her firing as several others did the same.
"HeheheHAHAHAHA! BEHOLD! I. AM. CLAPTRAP! NOW PREPARE TO…DANCE YOU MEATBAGS!" Busting out some beatboxing noises, Claptrap began dancing in the middle of the boulevard. Waving his arms upward, the tiny robot jinked and jived. "Oh no! I hope these enemies don't eat my succulent robot skin! I'm delicious! Unc! Unc! Unc! Unc!" Spinning around, he rolled upon a pile of rubble, still dancing. "You could all totally shoot me or set me on fire! I don't even feel pain! In fact! My suffering makes others happy! Shoot away!"
884-K shook her head then fired, hitting the robot center mass with a pulsed laser blast. Flying backwards, Claptrap landed in the road among splintered pavement and shattered glass.
"OH GOD, WHY!? WHY DID YOU SHOOT ME! MY ANTICS WERE BARELY WITNESSED!"
884-K leaned back around the bus, firing at McGarden, the screaming robot ignored as it flailed. "Why would you even bring something like that here!?" Ducking back as a few bullets dinged off the metal exterior in a hail of sparks, she checked her rifle as other Cana's fired.
"I CAN SEE THE CODE!"
"FOR RANDOM HALARITY! HAHAAHA!" Laying down a long burst of automatic fire, McGarden maimed a different brunette, striking the woman in the stomach and leg as she howled and screamed. Jumping off the hood of the car among sheering laser blasts, the short woman sneered as the local police finally arrived from the opposite direction, pinning the multiversal traveler's between the Cana assault team and law enforcement.
Blaring blues and reds flashed among the rubble choked street and numerous bodies, the civilian dead beyond help as laser blasts and bullets continued to fly.
A corn cob man in a blue uniform hastily exited his car, ducking behind the main body as another dozen police vehicles did the same. Joined by a black S.W.A.T. van, the boxy truck disgorged the elite police team. Assembling and taking cover behind numerous police cars and in the doorways of nearby businesses, the armed corn cobs raised their rifles toward the ongoing street battle.
"This is the Dallas Police! Drop your weapons and surrender! First and only warning you non-corn monsters!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Bisca yelled out as she shifted position to face the police with Lucy. Crouch walking toward the nearest vehicle, the four were essentially surrounded by two hostile forces. "Keep those Cana's from shooting us in the back!"
"No shit! They didn't let me finish my beer!" Popping up and laying down a long burst, Alberona killed another version of herself, the bullets ripping through the neck and nearly decapitating the identical woman. Three red laser blasts slammed into her shields, rippling the barrier and making them fail in a shatter of energy. Ducking behind the trunk, Alberona yelled over the din.
"You know this makes me to NOT want to join your stupid club! Especially to get brainwashed into fucking Laxus!"
93456-I-18L dashed forward, covered by red laser fire as she ducked behind a half flipped truck, the vehicle resting on its side as the former driver lay in pieces among yellow fluid and glass. Popping out, she had heard the taunt from the lost Cana. "Are you stupid!? Laxus is the best! He really can please a woman!" Firing her laser rifle, the heat burned toward the smoking, burning ship and the collection of ruined cars protecting the mission targets.
Alberona fired back at the overturned truck thirty feet away, the bullets careening off the rusty frame "You know what? Just for that disgusting statement, I'm gonna fuck the next Natsu I see! Now that's a real man!" Unclipping a fragmentation grenade from her belt, Alberona flung it toward the truck just as her twin popped out.
"YOU SHITTY BITCH!" Sprinting and running for her life, the white coated Cana leapt over the hood of another car and barely avoided being flayed by shrapnel.
"AHH! My arm!" A nearby Cana screamed, the woman clutching her right limb riddled with shrapnel. Dropping to the ground in a hellish agony, bullets ripped the air above the wounded brunette. Trying to grasp her rifle, the variant failed to hold the weapon as the battle continued to rage in the street.
Lucy stayed low as she searched for a heavier weapon to deal with the local police. Bullets sparked and thudded into the car before her, riddling the opposite side with damage. "Really not in the mood for this crap!" Selecting the perfect weapon, the tank full of jellied napalm digitized on her back, adding a heft of weight as Lucy gripped the nozzle in both hands.
"I'll cover you" Bisca offered with simple dispassion. Switching to her lancer, the emerald haired gun mage fired at the collection of police vehicles, making several of the corn cobs duck behind their own cover.
One screamed after taking cover behind an open cruiser door, the rounds punching through and causing an explosion of yellow, chunky gore. Falling to the pavement, the officer howled before Bisca ended his life, boring a round through his cob like head.
Lucy sprinted across the gap, running low and fast as a few errant rounds flew over her head from sporadic fire. Two hit her shields, splashing in a light blue of energy, but not enough to make them collapse as she reached the police line. Climbing on the hood of a police cruiser as its lights flashed a staccato of blue and red, the blonde mage leveled the burning nozzle at several sentient corn cobs in police uniforms and S.W.A.T gear.
"DROP THE WEAPON!" one of the officers screamed, pointing a shotgun at Lucy who only gave a light sneer.
"Time for some popcorn!" Squeezing the trigger, a stream of jellied napalm burned outward, washing over a dozen of the officers in a hellish fire of heat and suffering. Laughing madly over the screams and errant popping of kernels, Lucy didn't even feel guilty about burning corn. After all, to her, it was just food.
Hell, the smell was pleasant and put her in the mood to watch a movie.
"I'M ALL FIRED UP NOW!" Giving another pass over the police line, the stream of flame licked at vehicles and paint among bursting corn, the puffs of white flying in a dance of suffering. Jumping down as more red laser fire came her way, Lucy ran back to Bisca and slid into cover.
"That was effective. But more will show up before to long and regroup"
"Yeah, I know. A waste of fuel too" Crouching low, the two rejoined Alberona and Levy, both of them continuing the fight with the group of Cana's on the other side of the vehicle strewn intersection.
"Damn these bitches are annoying!" Popping up, Levy fired off half a box from her L.M.G. spraying the intersection with heavy rounds that snapped and zinged. Cutting down one Cana who had been racing for cover, the brunette was basically cut in half.
"No shit! I'm sick of wasting too much ammo on them too!" Ducking down, Alberona was really fed up with all this variant crap. "Plus, I didn't get to drink! Those selfish bitches!" Finding the proper tool for the job, the rocket launcher materialized in a hail of data cubes and pixels.
Staying low for a few moments as more red pulses of laser light speared the air above them, Alberona made sure a rocket was loaded.
"Oh, gonna blow them up? I was gonna just keep spraying and praying, haha" Chuckling, Levy really didn't care what her friends did.
"Yeah. Like hell I'm letting these stuck up whores brainwash me into being a Laxus fucktoy" Annoyance and mild anger crossed her features, the chin scar lightly pulling as Alberona took a knee, propping the rocket launcher on her right shoulder. Targeting a cluster of cars where most of the enemy had taken cover, Alberona fired.
The concussive sound and smoke bloomed outward, mixing with nearby vehicle fires and burnt bodies. Impacting the snarled gridlock in a mere second, the rocket exploded in a ball of fire and shrapnel, killing nearly a dozen variants of Cana as their bodies were ripped apart or burned into charred remains. Pieces of metal and glass flew, showering several more in wounds as screams and howls permeated the air.
Dropping the rocket launcher without a care, Alberona retook her lancer rifle in hand and vaulted over the pockmarked burned metal of the hood. Landing hard among some pulpy, yellow kernels of some dead civilian, the woman marched toward the burning carnage and shrapnel flayed group of Cana's.
Most were dead, ripped apart by the blast, but a few still clung to feeble life. One tried to crawl between to flipped vehicles, the brunette woman leaving a trail of blood as she dragged herself with cries of anguish.
Flipping the wounded Cana over, Alberona pointed the rifle downward, anger and fury playing across her face.
"P…please. Jus…just let me go" The Cana begged, her lips frothing with bubbled blood as horrendous shrapnel wounds flayed her chest and white coat.
"All you had to do was not try anything. But you want to reprogram me to love Laxus? To alter my friends and make me join your stupid little council? What a load of shit. You would've been better off doing your own thing…staying independent of these dumb bitches" Letting out a sigh, Alberona contemplated letting the wounded woman live.
"Y…you bitch. The Canaverse is for…for Laxus. Any other variation of romance is to be…be crushed and eliminated"
The gunshot rang out, blowing part of Cana's head away, leaving the woman dead in the road.
"Shit" Raising her dimensional timer, Levy glanced at the few remaining minutes. Shrugging with disappointment, the blue haired genius frowned at the carnage around her. "I really wish we had time to order some more food"
"Same. I'm still pretty hungry" Stepping over the corpse of herself, Alberona wiped her chin of some ash and soot, the material dragging past her prominent neck scar.
Watching two Cana's limp away toward one of those ships, the multiversal variant raised her rifle…then lowered it as she locked eyes with another crouching behind a car.
Flames burned nearby, mixing in with fuel and the stench of charred skin and meat. 531-CA gulped, her face covered in ash and sweat while her eyes brimmed with horror.
One of the other Cana's had landed nearby, half her face gone and obviously dead. The bone and meat glistened in the Dallas heat, a sickening slick of red muscle showing among the ruined flesh of the double.
Starting to shake with a rapid turn of her head, the rookie was on the verge of a full blown panic attack as she peered around the bumper at those deadly four a mere fifteen feet away. For a brief moment, she locked eyes with that battled hardened and insane version of herself, the woman standing upright as she held that horrible looking rifle with a chainsaw bayonet over the corpse of herself.
Ducking back behind cover, 531-CA breathed deeply, her fear rising as she clutched the laser rifle close. "OH GOD! She saw me! I'm next! She's gonna kill me next!"
A hand gripped her shoulder hard, the force like a vice as 531-CA let out a startled scream.
"FALL BACK! We're fucked here! EVERYBODY RETREAT!" Hollering with a voice marred with rawness and smoke inhalation, 884-K grabbed the rookie and pulled her toward the nearest transport.
"But…but the mission?" 531-CA barely managed to ask as she was pulled, nearly stumbling over another dead version of herself.
"Forget it! We don't have the numbers or firepower to deal with a McGarden!" Looking over her shoulder, all 884-K saw was Levy waving to her, the grin a menace of madness among the dead and burning battlefield.
Thundering up the ramp of the nearest transport, 531-CA practically tumbled into the nearest seat before hastily strapping herself in. Next to her, another Cana clutched her arm, the limb swathed in bandages soaked with blood. Groans came from more of the walking wounded nursing burned skin, limb injuries, or in the case of one of the floor, an abdominal gut shot. Three more ran up the ramp a half minute later, bringing the total survivors of Strike Team Cana to a mere nine out of thirty five.
"GET US INTO ORBIT, NOW!" 884-K screamed at the pilot as she slammed the button to close the rear ramp door.
"Yes, ma'am!" Flipping several switches, the pilot Cana yanked on the stick as the engines flared, burning a hellish blue. Lifting upward, the vehicle tilted away, leaving the intersection a corpse ridden nightmare of dead Cana's, rampant popcorn, leaking kernel blood, and four multiversal travelers among the flashing pulses of the broken police line and burning vehicles.
"Should I use my laser eye on them?" Lucy asked with a wary hostility, her gaze from the red orb taking on a more sinister crimson.
Bisca shrugged nonchalantly as she scanned the area, the howl of police sirens increasing once again. "If you want? Not like they're really a threat anymore"
"Ahh…fuck it" Regressing her anger, Lucy's crimson eye ebbed, returning to a more standard red. Looking down at a dead corn person, the blonde really felt no remorse or any indication of sorrow. "Nothing but damn corn…evolution here was dumb as hell"
"What really gets me is how the buildings look the same? I mean, a society of corn? Why aren't the skyscrapers made of corn?" Levy asked with an inquisitive stare at the structures around the four. "Although, human's don't live and work in giant versions of themselves? Ahh…I should've tried to save those cheese cushions…man, they were pretty good too! Damn, next time then"
"Hey, thirty seconds" Alberona stated, the brunette woman activating her helmet with an unfolding of high end technology. The face plate slid into place a second later, along with exterior seals along her armor.
"I really hope the next place is some tropical island. You know, where I can just strip down and sunbathe my natural beauty" Lucy hoped as she too, took the necessary precautions for the next shift.
"Eh, we'll see. I just hope it's not some…time vampire wearing a clock around his neck" Levy replied, her features now behind the blue faceplate.
"What did I say about making guesses? They tend to come true" Bisca warned.
"That's only happened a lot!" Laughing, the woman disappeared with a flare of blue particles and a barely audible 'pop'
Seconds later, the other three shifted, leaving dozens of dead in the middle of downtown Dallas.
"I can't do this. This…everything that…I can't" whispering to herself as the craft exited the atmosphere, Cana 531-CA had set the laser rifle on the seat next to her, a seat just used a mere hour before this whole nightmare began. "I should've never come here. I should've just stayed home" Gulping as the gut shot Cana groaned a mere few feet away on the floor, she tried to drown out the sounds while peering through the minor viewing window nearby.
They were in space.
Blue glows from the planet were serenely beautiful, mixing in with the different biomes across this strange world named Earth. She finally got a glance at the layout of 'Europe' the sparkle of cities in nighttime an electric glow of civilization.
Then the small craft tilted, banking toward a much larger ship.
Momentarily forgetting the horror of the day, Cana still gasped the second time that day as the beautiful vessel seemed to float on eternity.
Soft, curved lines streamlined along the white hull, flowing seamlessly among rows of lights that crowded several decks. The bow was a sheening white of glass and hull plating, curved and angled almost like a bird. Adding to its deadliness, a large cannon seemed to be mounted on the top, the ship length weapon a matching white with the rest of the vessel.
Moving toward a rapidly opening bay on the starboard side of the spaceship, the tiny craft pulsed past the flaring engines before docking a minute later.
Hissing air erupted from beyond the crafts hull, then the door lowered, revealing the transport bay.
"Let's get the wounded ladies. They tangled with a McGarden on the surface!" A Cana shouted, her uniform a snuggly fitting nurse outfit that barely covered her ass or large breasts. Standing with more identically dressed Cana's, the sexy nurses strode forward with medical gear.
"Let them do their job, Rook. We need to get to the bridge" Marching past with a visible angry sneer, 884-K strode across the hanger and the naval personnel Cana's drinking on the job.
"But we retreated, right?"
"We still have an option to defeat the McGarden and ensure her anti-Cana rhetoric isn't spread through the multiverse" Slapping her hand against a button, sliding doors opened to reveal an elevator. Stepping in, she practically pulled the rookie with her as the doors closed with a small hiss.
531-CA kept quiet, her mind still replaying the deaths and killing. Giving a harsh intake of breath, her hands started to shake as the horror invaded her mind.
"I'll have you visit Psychiatrist Cana back at the fortress, but now is not the time to falter"
The door chimed and opened, letting the team leader exit without another care or concern. Stepping onto the main bridge, there were several dozen Cana's, all dressed in naval uniforms that were barely buttoned at the chest. The skirts were just as criminally short, the lower portions of their ass cheeks on display.
"Hey! HEY! This is my bridge! I…I do the naval stuff here!" Lifting a bottle of rum, the officer drank as her jacket became undone, threatening to let her breasts spill out in the middle of the bridge. Adjusting her crooked white hat with an anchor on it, the variant drank more as another Cana fell on her face, laughing with inebriation.
"Then fire on the city of Dallas! We have a McGarden on the loose down there and we cannot risk the central Cana curve to her madness!"
*Burp* "Ahh….alright" Nearly falling forward, Captain Alberona chugged down her bottle of rum, then promptly stripped off her shirt, letting her large breasts bounce in the open. "You hear…heard me! Or her!" *hic!* Fire the..the…uh. Shit I drank too much…THE CANA CANNON!"
"ALRIGHT! FINALLY!" A redheaded Cana shouted from nearby the weapons console, the woman also partially drunk as she slammed down her fist on a big read button that was just begging to be pushed.
The bridge became bathed in red, several alarms blaring as Captain Cana spun around, then latched herself onto 531-CA. "Say….have you ever been with…with another Cana…before? You know…two women?" Leering with seduction, the topless captain then laughed and pulled another bottle of rum from a nearby rolling bar. "TO VICTORY, LADIES!"
"YEAH!"
A brief moment later, the spaceship's main battery fired a heated lance of red laser fire at Dallas. Burning through the atmosphere to the city of three million sentient corn cobs, the heavy ship laser slammed into the very intersection the fight had taken place.
Burning outwards in a wave of heat and roiling clouds of fire, the laser washed down the streets, consuming the citizens in a hellish storm of orbital fire as buildings became an inferno of collapse.
884-K wiped her brow, watching with satisfaction as the Republic of Texas lost millions of lives in a mere minute.
"WOOO! LOOK AT THAT CITY BURN!" Captain Cana shouted as she poured more booze down her throat. Pointing to the pilot, the woman stumbled and tripped, falling over a console as her breasts bounced and dangled from the action. "Uh…to the fortress! And make sure to drink! That…that's an order!" Rolling, she fell to the floor, drunkenness taking hold as her bare chest rose and fell.
Cana 531-CA felt sick to her stomach. "They're monsters! They just destroyed a whole city!" Eyes brimming as none of the crew seemed to care, she felt a reassuring hand on her right shoulder.
"You did great for your first mission, rookie. We kept the central Canaverse safe from destruction" Eyes glinting with steel, the mission leader seemed to be completely unaffected by the vile events of the day.
"I need to get home! They're insane!" Keeping the thoughts to herself, the ship traversed into a dimensional breech, the crew getting more rambunctious as the swirling tear flashed with light.
Earthland 28-531-CA Fairy Tail guild hall, July 21st, 784
Natsu leaned back on the chair, his hands interlocked behind his head while his feet lay propped upon the table. Slowly tilting backwards, he stared at the ceiling with a small frown upon his face.
"When do you think Cana will be back?"
Erza looked up from her own table nearby, the red head slowly polishing a sword with a heavy look of displeasure. "I cannot say. However, if those 'other' Cana's try to freeze me again, they will face my steel blade"
"But Erza? Didn't you lose really fast and were basically useless against them?" Happy asked, only to be grabbed by the tail and hoisted upward by a very annoyed redhead. Sternly glaring, the blue cat began to sweat bullets as he hung upside down. "AH! Erza's being scary again!"
Lucy watched the cat escape, flying toward the ceiling in a panic before hiding on one of the rafters. Propping her chin upon her hand, the blonde looked bored then risked a glance toward her busty rival. "Shame they couldn't have left you frozen"
Levy huffed, crossing her arms beneath her double D's barely contained by her blue summer top with spaghetti straps that showed off far too much skin. "I'm going to ignore that because your a dumb blonde that can't read"
Lucy turned her chin upward, giving her own huff of annoyance at her rival. "At least I don't sell my body for money"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"YOU HEARD ME!"
"Enough you two. I'm sure Cana will be back soon from her very important mission to save the…the Canaverse, whatever that means" Makarov reasoned with practiced diplomacy. Sighing in relief as the two women backed down, the guild master slowly exhaled. "I think they're worse than Erza and Mira back in the day"
"I'm sure Cana is fine. But once she comes back, we'll give her a big welcome!" Mira chirped, the barmaid knowing her sister would help with the cooking. Clasping her hands together, Mirajane was all smiles at the possibility of a big celebration.
As if her words were a cue, a strange series of 'pops' danced in the middle of the guild hall, followed by a static charge before a swirling portal of blue's appeared out of thin air. With another flash, Cana stepped through, her gaze showing disbelief and momentary confusion. Now wearing a dull, brown backpack, the straps lightly dug into the fabric of her plain t-shirt, the weight of the interior contents unknown as it hung off her shoulders.
Snapping shut with barely a noise, the swirling maelstrom of energy dissipated, leaving the guild silent.
"Oh…uh… WELCOME BACK!" Mira hastily shouted, resulting in a very broken, staggered greeting from the assembled mages.
"Right…I'm back…" Slowly speaking, she was soon approached by her friends and family.
"What happened!?"
"Did you fight some big monster!?"
"Where did you go!?"
"Did you save the Canaverse!?"
"Where are those other Cana's!?"
"MANNNLYYYY!"
The questions came a mile a minute, thrown so fast Cana couldn't even try to respond.
"Okay, give her some space" Makarov commanded, letting the brunette walk toward the bar and sit down with a weary sigh.
Eyeing a lone bottle of rum Mira had just set on the polished bar, the barmaid had probably planned on a small celebratory drink….but Cana had other ideas. Grabbing the bottle, she drank heavily, her mind still struggling and reeling with everything that happened.
"Uh…Cana? Maybe you should take it easy? You just got back after all. Plenty of time to drink at a party!" Levy exclaimed with a big grin as she approached. Setting a hand on Cana's shoulder, Levy was taken aback with shock as her friend jumped and screamed before flinging herself over the bar.
Peeking over the polished wood, the brunette stared at Levy, her eyes brimming with fear as she broke out in a sweat.
"It's Levy…normal, busty Levy. Not short. Not a murderous psycho…just normal Levy" Gulping hard, she cast her gaze toward Lucy…then Bisca, finding them staring with confusion and concern.
"Right…you're all normal here. My friends…" Voice hauntingly low, Cana slowly stood, her legs unsteady.
Gajeel was looking at her, the iron dragon slayer standing with his arms crossed. Gaze calculating, the black haired man with numerous studded piercings stared for a few moments, standing right near Levy and the rest of their team.
Cana immediately remembered Gajeel dying. The blood spray and ichor speckling her face with such a warmth that it horrified her. And the fact it was Levy that did it made it ten times worse.
Running a hand through her brown locks, the brunette felt her hand shaking from the motion.
"Hey Cana? Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost?" Natsu asked with familiar concern.
"Indeed. You appear quite upset" Erza added, the red haired knight stepping forward like a beacon of justice.
Cana snapped.
"Of course I'm upset!" Suddenly shouting, her voice filled the hall as she clutched her head, the horror threatening to spill outward.
Lucy smiled, the blonde trying to be supportive. "Hey Cana, it's alright. We're your friends, you can talk to us abo—"
"It's not alright! I saw you…YOU LUCY! Kill like a half dozen versions of myself with some laser eye! And the Cana's that took me! Completely lied! There was no threat to the Canaverse! They just wanted to get this other version of myself to join their council!" Swiping her arm in a wide arc, the words spilled forth. "Then there was Levy! Some short, battle hardened genius psychopath that murdered Gajeel right in front of me in the middle of a restaurant filled with corn people! No remorse at all! Just strait up murdered him after I read the charges against her!"
"I…I murdered Gajeel? Why would I do something so horrible!?" The tall, busty blue haired woman asked with a quiver in her voice.
"I don't know! He was some sort of sex pervert, but killing him for that!? Insane!" Resting her elbows on the bar, Cana braced her head in her hands as she took a deep breath to calm down. "It just got worse after that. I found out that those other variants wanted to mentally change Bisca and Lucy to love Laxus. Same with that other Cana, the one with the chin scar. None of them took kindly to that. We pursued them…shot them down in the middle of downtown Dallas. God…they just didn't care about who they killed or causing destruction…neither side did" Slowly looking up, there were tears in Cana's eyes as she stared at her friends. "I literally watched myself murder myself. Just…this other variant seemed to be completely dead inside. Executed this wounded Cana barely twenty feet away. No remorse or regret at all. Then…then we retreated to their warship in orbit after our losses mounted" Slamming her palms down on the polished bar, more tears spilled.
"THEY DESTROYED A WHOLE CITY! JUST TO KILL A LEVY VARIANT! MILLION'S DEAD FOR NOTHING!" Screaming, Cana could feel the tears running down her face as she shook her head. "Then…then they sent me to therapy, but it was just some drunk asking how I would be a wife toward Laxus. I just told them to send me home…so they did after giving me the tools and knowledge to explore the multiverse" Swinging the backpack around, the brunette set it on the bartop, leaving it closed as she continued to cry.
She didn't notice Natsu coming around the bar to hug her, the man staying silent as he just let her cry.
*pop…pop pop pop!*
Flowing particles of red and yellow flowed from nothing on the other side of the bar, falling like snow as the guild members slowly became concerned.
"What is this?" Erza stated, the woman instantly drawing her blade as the particles flashed bright. Looking behind her, Gray, Lucy, and Wendy were getting into fighting stances.
"Be on guard, my children!" Makarov sternly commanded as the guild master glared harshly at the unknown event.
A bright flash erupted, revealing four women in heavy armor and sealed helmets. Covered in a pink dust and viscous red fluid as some sort of energy barrier flickered, the four aimed their rifles at the nearby mages. Chainsaw bayonets dripped with pink gore, the vile ichor dripping to the guild floor as the helmeted four slowly panned their vision, studying the mages before them.
Stenciled words could be read among the marred armor plate and sporadic dust, the blocky letters revealing the names of L. Heartfilia, C. Alberona, L. McGarden, B. Mulan.
The short one raised her left wrist, checking some sort of data read out before hitting a few buttons among the covering of pink dust. A pulsing blue wave of light erupted from the piece of wrist technology, panning over Laxus and Evergreen before wavering over several others.
"It should be safe. No weird shit in the air and they are human" Hitting a few buttons, the short woman's helmet seemed to melt away in a ripple, revealing Levy with a long scar along her left cheek. Moments later, the others did the same, revealing another Lucy with a red eye among scarred socket tissue, her gaze hard and harsh.
"That really sucked" Alberona stated with a weary exhaustion, the scar that dragged from the corner of her mouth to her chin jumping with a few muscle twitches.
Bisca Mulan gave a simple nod, the woman setting her normal cowgirl hat upon her head. Worn and ratty with numerous blemishes, it hid the long scar along her skull from the others…but her double had seen it.
"You're telling me. Poison atmosphere. Exploding, alien pus bags. Oh, and those damn flying pink crystal things. Alien moons are not enjoyable"
Alberona slowly lowered her rifle, not caring about the stares and hostile glares coming her way. "Would've gone easier if Lucy hadn't tried to harvest those crystals" Glaring toward the red eyed blonde, L.H. gave a simple shrug. "I thought they would be worth something"
Cana stared from behind the bar, her eyes going wide as her breathing threatened hyperventilation. Stepping backward, she bumped into the wall of liquor bottles resting below the large mirror, her body trembling. "OH GOD! YOUR THEM! YOU KILLED ALL THOSE OTHER CANA'S!" Ducking down, the brunette covered her head, fear overwhelming her senses as Natsu lit his fists on fire.
"I won't let you hurt her! Uh…evil Cana!"
Alberona cocked her head to the side, confusion crossing her eyes. "Huh…usually most variants of the guild are curious when we show up" Walking forward with her rifle pointed toward the floor, the scarred brunette peered over the bar, ignoring the hostile glare from the Strauss sisters nearby. Eyeing her cowering self, Alberona cocked an eyebrow. "Have we met? Or is this normal for you guys?"
"YOU KILLED ALL THOSE OTHER CANA'S FROM THE COUNCIL! WE FOUGHT ON THAT CORN PLANET!" Nearly shrieking in terror, Cana tried to curl in a ball on the floor.
"The corn planet…oh shit, I remember that place!" Laughing, McGarden whimsically shook her head. "Remember, that corn cob version of Dallas? And those group of idiots that tried to arrest me for mind reprogramming?"
Mulan stared upward at the ceiling, eyeing Happy watching from the rafters who instantly shrunk back to hide. "Oh yeah…they wanted to make us fucktoys for some Laxus harem"
"Oh yeah…" Remembering, L.H. placed a finger on her bottom lip, contemplating the former events.
"I don't like the sound of that" Laxus frowned, the blonde man bringing a few sparks toward his fingertips in preparation of combat.
Alberona continued to study her cowering self before a bolt of recognition blew through her mind. "Holy shit, you're the Cana with the data pad! The one who listed all of McGarden's crimes! How you been!?" Boisterously smiling with a small laugh, Alberona attached her lancer rifle to the back plate of her amor, the magnetized material holding it in place with ease.
McGarden snorted. "Some list, they didn't even charge me for theft of a space station. Lazy bitches" Going to the bar, she reached for a bottle on the rail shelf, then rapidly uncorked it. Drinking the booze, she basically ignored the staring mages still on guard.
"Just don't hurt me or my friends!" Pleading, Cana tried to stand, but her legs still barely supported her as she used Natsu for support.
"Really? We were just eating lunch and relaxing while your whole group ambushed us. Not only that, but forcing mental reprogramming to sexually serve a certain man…not cool. We deal with enough rapists…and uh…intelligent apes and those…um…cocaine werewolves for that kind of crap" McGarden informed with an uncaring wave of her hand before taking another deep gulp of the amber booze.
"Don't get us wrong. We could kill all you pretty easily, but since you haven't attacked us yet…Erza" L.H. glared, the woman keeping her rifle pointed down, but in the direction of the knight.
"How do I know you won't hurt us anyway? We've heard what you did from our Cana and her horrible ordeal" Holding her blade that glimmered under bathing sunlight, Erza kept watch of this heavily armed Lucy before her.
"You know what? Tell us your side of the story, Cana. Let's see if we can understand your perspective. Better than having shit go bad, right?" The red eye of Lucy tracked Erza, but the knight seemed to agree some sort of conversation would be preferable to fighting.
"Cana my dear? Would you be will to retell the story? It would be preferable to fighting our…guest's" Makarov asked, his kindly voice suspicious at the end. Wavering his gaze, the four heavily armed women seemed to give their consent, which in turned made his own mages stand down a bit.
"A…Alright" Taking a deep breath after wiping away some drying tears, Cana retold her ordeal, not sparing a single detail. The killing…the carnage…even the insanity of the Cana fortress in deep space. She told all.
"That's when you showed up, and I just freaked out" the brunette finished with a wary tone, her eyes flickering toward her scarred double across the bar. Flinching as Alberona reached out a hand, Cana gulped as the heavy, gauntleted hand rested on her slender shoulders.
"Cana. I'm sorry, but I just don't give a shit about what happened"
"W…what?"
"HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU DON'T CARE! PEOPLE DIED!" Natsu roared out, the man reigniting his flames as he gave heavy glare of anger.
"And they're dying right now!" Alberona pointed, her features twisting into mild annoyance. "What! You think that's the only terrible thing that happened in the multiverse!?" Snapping her fingers, she pointed to Evergreen. "Right now, there is a world where you are a serial killer. Or just got raped by Laxus. Or another where your guild master or a supermodel" Snapping her fingers again, she pointed to Erza. "You just signed a contract to become an adult film actress or just killed Natsu in some mad bid to take over the guild! Or you married Natsu and have a family!" Grabbing McGarden's drink, the woman slugged down another gulp much to the annoyance of her friend.
"Point is, everything happens, including some dumb ass Cana's inventing multiverse travel, forming a Cana council and trying to protect it from any outside influence" Waving her hand in exhausted annoyance, McGarden slumped her head on the bar, watching her booze disappear. "And just so you know, there's probably another group of Cana's running around, trying to bring in more versions of themselves to be girlfriends to Natsu…or Gray. Same with councils of Erza's, or Laxus, or even Droy over there. Everything is possible, every variation…nothing fucking matter's"
"How can you be so callous to suffering though? You murdered several variations of your friend" Erza asked, the situation still unknown to her as she kept her sword at her side. Looking toward the other Lucy, she expected an answer.
L.H. sat down with a weariness at a table, the blonde cradling her deadly rifle across her lap as she started to clean the pink residue from the outer casing. "Not like they were our friends or comrades. Hell, I'm in love with my Natsu back home. I wanted to marry him and start a family some day" Looking up, her eye burned red in a minor flash of anger. "Doesn't stop me from killing versions of him who pose a threat to others of myself. We can all be evil…or good, or in our case, somewhere in the middle" Ignoring the glare of Erza, L.H. turned her gaze toward Cana behind the bar. "You're the inventor here…basically an early version of McGarden before all the insanity and multiversal shit settles in. You want my advice? Stay away from councils. Do your own thing…try to be unique and stand out among the infinity of yourself. If that means going to other worlds and helping those in need, go for it. If you want to rob alien banks for Veno coins, do that too. I really don't give a shit" Going back to cleaning her rifle, L.H. really didn't care if Erza still scrutinized her.
"You're not very nice, are you?" Lucy suddenly blurted, the blonde staring at herself with a mix of awe and pity. "How did she get that scar around her eye? It must have been awful…"
L.H. didn't look up, the armored blonde pulling apart her rifle to clean the chainsaw teeth and the chunks of bloody pink. "Years of war and uncontrolled multiversal travel will do that to you. Believe it or not, there was a point when I was just like you" Going back to her task, the war torn celestial mage didn't elaborate any further.
Makarov studied the four strangers, his old eyes sensing the horror…the suffering and hell they each seemed to emanate. He could tell that whatever Cana had endured recently, these four had probably seen a hundred things worse. And if one thought about it, they had simply been eating lunch before being attacked and targeted for mental reprogramming. Giving a small sigh, he made a decision. "If you behave yourselves and promise not to bring harm to anybody here in this guild or Magnolia herself, you may stay until you leave"
"Master! They're dangerous!" Erza shouted back, the woman still very untrusting of the visitors.
"And here we can watch them! Or would you rather we kick them out and they cause mayhem in the streets! My decision will stand, Erza!"
Dismissing the yelling between the two mages, Alberona gave a light burp. "Fine with me. I could use a good soak after that last planet anyway"
"OHHH! Since I'm an idiot bimbo here with big tits, I'll teach Cana about some multiverse tips!" McGarden grinned, the short woman suddenly energized. "YEAH! Levy and Cana! Eating cheese couches, drinking and…and doing science! Lots of science with…uh…math and…and computers! Across the multiverse! A dozen chapters! NO! A HUNDRED CHAPTERS! JUST LEVY AND CANA!" Laughing hysterically, McGarden became slightly unhinged as the shell shocked brunette tried to escape the sudden madness.
"What was that about me being a bimbo!" Levy shouted, only to get a chuckle from Lucy.
"Uhhh….taking a step back, Cana slowly shook her head. "That's okay! I'll discover things myself" Tripping over Natsu's feet, the brunette tumbled, entangling with the man. Falling to the floor behind the bar, she had somehow fallen below him in a very compromising position as the fire mage's lips got within inches of her own.
"Oh. Oh. OH! Looks like somebody wants a hot man!" Alberona teased with a grin, the hostility of the guild ebbing.
"It..It's not like that!" Going red, the poor brunette pushed Natsu off, her face practically burning from the close encounter.
Bisca eyed her variant, wanting to ask about that hideous long scar that was mainly hidden by the hat. For the most part, the variant from another world had been silent, simply leaning against a nearby supporting pillar of the guild.
Deciding to ask something more mundane than about the skull length scar, Bisca tried to smile and be pleasant. "So…uh…Mulan? Would you like to spend time with myself and my boyfriend, Alzack? Or perhaps just find a place to eat? I'm sure we could have a meaningful conversation"
Slowly looking her way with those assessing sniper eyes, Mulan than turned her gaze to the main antics of the guild as McGarden tried to challenge Evergreen to a "Sexy drinking contest"
"If possible, I would like to have sex with your Natsu. It would be an excellent stress relief"
Bisca blinked, realizing the guild had gone silent as one could hear a pin drop as her many friends and family reeled from the sudden statement.
"WWWHATT!?
So I think that's good! I know its not some critical chapter, but I thought why not something crazy. Obviously took inspiration from Rick and Morty, not that it matters. If you don't like it, oh well. If you do, great.
Hopefully by the weekend I'll start my next chapter for Rising from the Embers, dealing with the election and some minor stuff. But since I'm putting in 55-60 hours this week it might not happen. Still, it will get started soon!
Anyway, hope you all enjoy!
TheHappy…possibly a blue cat