Chapter Three:
In Search Of A Thief
The streets of Mushroom City looked very busy, especially on a day such as this. Given that it was a Saturday, people were in the midst of getting off work to spend the weekend with their family while others went shopping for their loved ones or their own leisure. A couple police cars passed through the districts with the cops on patrol duty, keeping an eye out for criminal activity.
On a street corner on 12th Iwata Boulevard, everyone's least favorite lanky Italian crook Waluigi was running his famous Taco Stand, selling spicy tacos for the price of three dollars. It had been so long since he last sold tacos, mostly due to the fact he was busy conducting scams with Wario.
However, things were about to get very heated, very fast. Peppino, an Italian like Mario, was in the midst of opening a pizza stand, an extension of his pizza shop, when he spotted Waluigi selling tacos from across the street. His eyes popped, going wide as saucers, then he clenched his fists and his face flushed red with anger.
If anybody was going to run a business, running said business in the same area as someone else's business wasn't a good move.
Waluigi had set up his taco business near Peppino's business, that was a no-no in the latter's eyes.
The pizza chef ran across the street, his legs spinning wildly, right towards Waluigi's Taco Stand. Peppino didn't stop until he was near the curb, just inches from the Taco stand. He leaped towards the Wah-man, knocking over a bottle of spicy hot ketchup due to his bulging belly, and slammed him to the ground.
"HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, PAL?!" Waluigi shouted.
"You're running a taco business... ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY PIZZA BUSINESS!" Peppino yelled back.
"Get lost, loser! I was here first BEFORE YOU CHOSE TO OPEN YOUR PIZZA VENDOR HERE!"
"No you. I WILL NOT HAVE COMPETITION!"
Waluigi held out a taco in front of Peppino, offering it to him, "Try some tacos. Maybe you'll like 'em."
Peppino swatted the taco out of the Wah-man's hand and grabbed his hat, then he ripped it in half. "I WILL NOT HAVE YOUR BRAND OVERSHADOW MY BRAND AND STEAL MY CUSTOMERS!" He shouted, "WHAT IS IT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
Waluigi was shocked by the sight of Peppino swatting away the taco and destroying his taco hat. And then, he clenched his fists and grit his teeth with anger. The lanky Italian let out a yell of fury and a great aura of super energy erupted around him, Peppino was sent tumbling a few feet across the sidewalk before he looked up to see Waluigi floating above in his WaluRambo form.
Fueled by his rage and the power of neglect, Waluigi swooped down upon Peppino and grabbed him. He picked him up by the scruff of his white shirt and punched him repeatedly, bruising his face, then he slammed him into the ground.
"YOU'LL REGRET SAYING 'NO' TO ME!" Waluigi snarled.
Then, he grabbed a taco, flipped Peppino around, and shoved the taco in his mouth. Peppino, half-surprised, munched on the food that the Wah-man had just given him. He chewed it all, then his eyes lit up and he smiled.
"Mama mia!" He exclaimed, "That was real tasty!"
Waluigi reverted back to his regular form and helped Peppino to his feet. "Y-You mean it?" He asked.
"What am I thinking?" Peppino offered Waluigi a piece of pizza, "Would you like a bite of pizza?"
"Don't mind if I do."
Waluigi took the piece of Peppino's pizza and ate it, tasting every last inch of the pizza as he devoured it. And then, his eyes lit up and he exclaimed, "WAH-LELUJAH!" Then he looked at Peppino, "Maybe we should sell pizza and tacos together, run our two businesses side-by-side!"
"Goodness, I actually like it!" Peppino exclaimed.
And the next thing everyone knew, Peppino and Waluigi were running their pizza and taco stands on the same sidewalk just next to each other. Toads and Koopas came by and bought tacos from Waluigi's stand while other people bought boxes of pizza from Peppino's stand, then more Toads came by for both pizza and tacos. And the two Italians both got their money's worth!
Meanwhile, a few blocks down, Mario and Luigi were walking through the town with the former holding up a 'missing' poster with a picture of a plate of spaghetti on it. The dim-witted Italian called out to the many tourists and townspeople, offering a one hundred dollar reward for those who found the spaghetti and the spaghetti thief.
Luigi rolled his eyes, his big brother was the weirdest person in the world when it came to spaghetti, and he hadn't forgotten how very obsessed Mario was with that food.
"Excuse-a me." Mario said to a Goomba wearing a purple hat, "I'm-a looking for spaghetti."
"Nope, haven't seen it." The Goomba replied.
The sound of wailing sirens echoed across the street as a police car rolled by, driven by none other than the Mushroom Kingdom's nightmare fuel-inducing Robocop-esque computer-headed officer himself; Mister Hal Monitor, known to some as Mr. Hall Monitor, Mr. Monitor or Hal.
Hal Monitor drove by Mario and Luigi's current position and slowed his car to a stop, allowing Mario to see the calm smile-y expression upon the robotic police officer's face. And yet, both he and his little brother knew that Hal Monitor could flash his scary angry face and go ballistic at any moment at the first sight of illegal activity.
"Good morning, Mario!" Hal Monitor buzzed with a wave, "May I ask what that poster is for and why you have a picture of spaghetti on it?"
"My spaghetti is-a missing!" Mario exclaimed, "I didn't eat it all, so some ass stole it while me and Luigi were sleeping."
"Someone stole your spaghetti!" Hal Monitor's face flashed his nightmare fuel-inducing angry facial expression, "Now that is a terrible crime and no one like you should have to suffer the pain of having your food stolen by some sneak thief. What has happened is illegal and when we track them down, I will do a million unimaginable things they'll never forget!"
"Would you like to help us, Mr. Monitor?" Luigi asked.
"I am in tune with every security camera in the city and have eyes everywhere. I can see someone we know a few streets over, running off with something in a bag. It looks like your old friend Wario is up to illegal activities again..."
Mario's eyes were wide with rage. "WARIO!? THAT FAT BASTARD STOLE MY SPAGHETTI?!" He exclaimed, "I bet he made off with-a more plates and that bag is full of spaghetti noodles. Where is he right now?!"
Hal Monitor's face turned blue, then it blinked and showed footage of Wario running through the streets with a bag in his arms, then a map of Mushroom City popped up, showing a moving yellow dot and two stationary dots, one of red and one of green. Looking at the map like a maze, Mario's eyes lit up even more.
"We're not-a that far, we can intercept!" He cried.
Luigi observed the map. "Looks like Wario's path is leading to an avenue close to our current position." The green Italian remarked.
"LET'S-A CATCH THAT GREEDY THIEF!" Mario shouted.
Without warning, Mario ran up, opened the police car door and threw Hal Monitor out, then he grabbed Luigi, pulled him into the cop car, and hit the gas. Mario took off across the street, turned the wheel madly in a U-turn and then flicked a switch, prompting the activation of a siren. The fat Italian went full throttle as Luigi protested, begging for Mario to slow down.
Behind them, Hal Monitor got back up, taken by surprise by the fact Mario of all people had just thrown him out of his own police car. His shocked face was quickly replaced with his trademark angry expression, hijacking one's police car was VER L, regardless if it was an emergency.
"Mario, Mario, what are you doing?!" Luigi wailed, "YOU'RE SPEEDING!"
"Two answers, Luigi!" Mario said, "First, Mario's going to do something very illegal. Second, I'm gonna ram him!"
"You're already doing something illegal!" Luigi cried, "YOU'RE STEALING HAL MONITOR'S CAR!"
Mario laughed, "Luigi, he's on our side and helped us, Mario's only borrowing."
"MARIO! WATCH OUT FOR THAT OLD MAN!"
Mario yelped, seeing Captain Craig Cuttlefish crossing the street, and the fat Italian swerved, driving onto the sidewalk before he jerked the wheel and drove back onto the street before turning a street corner. Behind them, Craig Cuttlefish watched with wide-eyes, then he shook his cane shouted, "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING, YOU STUPID... WHOA!"
He jumped out of the way, holding his cane tight, right as Hal Monitor came zooming by in police car mode. Up ahead, Mario laughed as he went faster, not even watching the gas meter or the fuel meter.
The Italian spaghetti lover turned to the GPS tracker that was active, showing him and Luigi where their thief was located; he was only a street away.
Up ahead, Wario was running and laughing like a maniac, carrying the bag full of the loot he'd taken and he wasn't even worried about the sirens or Hal Monitor coming. Just then, he heard the sirens get louder along with what sounded like a speeder coming his way. Wario turned around, spotting a police car rushing around the corner in front of him.
"OH MY GOD!" Wario cried.
"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario whooped, he slammed on the brakes.
KA-BAM!
Wario screamed as the car rammed into him, breaking ten ribs in his body and sending him flying into the wall, partially fracturing his shoulder blade, and all despite how fat he was. The bag fell out of his hand and Wario collapsed, his hat fell off, and the greedy crook groaned as Mario hopped out of the car, followed by a nervous Luigi.
"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, WARIO?!" Mario yelled, "I RAMMED YOUR ASS, YOU IDIOT! Bet that makes you think twice before you invade my house and take my spaghetti?!"
"What's-a gotten into you today?!" Wario shouted at his red-and-blue counterpart, "It's one thing to hit someone with a police car, BUT YOU'RE ACCUSING WARIO OF STEALING SPAGHETTI?! Money is my only game, so is chicken!"
Mario walked up and kicked Wario. "Cough up-a the spaghetti and quit lying!" He yelled.
Wario coughed and Mario stepped back, watching as his greedy counterpart hacked and wheezed as a trace of blood splattered onto the pavement. "Maybe you should call an ambulance, you fat oaf!" Wario groaned.
"Mama mia!" Luigi exclaimed, "He's-a telling the truth!"
"About his injuries?" Mario got out a phone.
Then he looked around, seeing his little brother had opened the bag Wario was carrying. And in the bag was a ton of cash along with a plate of chicken and ham. Mario walked over as Wario cried in pain again, the former looked into the bag and saw Wario wasn't lying; there were no spaghetti plates in sight.
"WAH!" Someone exclaimed.
Mario and Luigi dropped the bag and turned, seeing Waluigi had arrived. And with him was Peppino, whose face Mario had not seen in a while.
Waluigi ran up to Wario, who groaned in pain and weakly moved an arm, coughing hard. Waluigi put an ear up to his brother's ribs, listening to his heartbeat and his breathing. Then he helped him get to his feet, inspecting his injuries while Wario gasped in pain. Waluigi pulled out a phone and dialed the emergency number, calling for an ambulance.
Hal Monitor finally arrived on the scene and reverted back to his humanoid form, his nightmarish angry expression vanished, replaced with curiosity and concern as he saw the blood on the ground and studied the injured Wario.
"Mama mia..." Wario looked at Waluigi, then he pointed to Mario, "It was that stupid nitwit, he hit me and then starts accusing me of taking spaghetti."
Waluigi gasped, then he looked at Mario, eyes filled with rage. Hal Monitor, the cop who always disliked illegal activity and was ready to arrest anyone, stepped back and didn't say a word. Peppino looked at the red-and-blue plumber, completely shocked. Waluigi's eyes flashed electric blue and lightning exploded as he approached Mario in a threatening manner.
And unbeknownst to them, a tall figure was watching from across the street, from the shadows of another alley...