Chapter 8: Road Trip

"So it's sliced avocado, rolled oats with apricot," Mavis instructed in anxiety to her father while the zombie bellhops loaded up the hearse to prepare her and Johnny's trip to California, "the Aveno moisturizer after every bath..."

"And then the shea butter on their tush before their PJs," Dracula continued calmly to his oldest daughter, "and then 20 minutes on the nebulizer while I read their Learning Factory Phonics book to them."

"Don't worry, Honey," Ericka assured Mavis calmly, while packing some snacks and other kiddie items in three backpacks for the children. "I made a list in case we forget anything."

"Thanks, Mom," Mavis said, though she still wasn't quite relieved. "It's asking a lot, Dad, we could just take Dennis and Martha with us."

"What, are you kidding me?" Dracula exclaimed. "And get him off his routine? No, no, no. You kids go to California and see if it's the right place to raise Denisovich and Martha ."

While Mavis spoke with her parents about how to take care of Dennis and Martha, Johnny made mouth bubbles at their and Dennis and Martha tried to copy his daddy but he drooled instead.

Mavis took Dennis and Martha from Johnny, asking, "And you remember how to video chat?"

"Yes, yes, with the phone and the buttons and the agony," Dracula groaned with a grin.

"Still having trouble with your phone? When are you gonna cut those nails, kitty cat?" Ericka teased, causing Dracula to shoot an annoyed expression while giggled.

"Thanks for being so understanding, Mom and Dad." Mavis smiled in relief. "I know you'll keep him safe."

"Of course, Mavy," Dracula assured her and stabbed his fist at his chest, "Stake my heart and hope to die."

"They'll be fine," Ericka assured her.

"I'm just gonna miss them so much." Mavis placed Dennis down on the ground and affectionately kissed their nose. "I love you, Dennis and Martha ."

Dennis kissed her nose and replied adorably, "I love you, Mommy."

"I'll tell him Mavy-Wavy stories every night before bed," Dracula said.

"You're the best," Mavis said happily as she hugged her father. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Mavy," Dracula replied as he returned the embrace with equal affection.

"Have a good time and have a safe trip, love you, Mavis," Ericka said, getting her turn to hug Mavis affectionately.

"I love you too, Mom," replied Mavis.

Then Ericka turned to Johnny to give him a hug so he wouldn't feel left out. "Have fun and stay safe," she said.

"I will." Johnny saluted.

Getting down on one knee, Ericka kissed Luna's forehead. "Have fun, Luna. Now be good for Daddy."

"Yes, Mommy," Luna replied, as she gave her mother a big hug.

As Luna came over to give Mavis a goodbye hug, Johnny held his arms wide for Dracula and then squeezed him so tight that the vampire tensed at this strong hug and rolled his eyes.

"Gonna miss all you guys," Johnny moaned with his goofy grin. "You're all my family. Love you, Drac."

"Yes, I love you too," Dracula responded with an awkward smile, then quickly leaned closer to Johnny to remind him of their real plan, whispering, "Now remember the plan. Just keep her distracted and happy, but not too happy, Capiche?"

"Got it," Johnny whispered back in understanding, "Operation Just Keep Her Distracted and Happy, But Not Too Happy, Capiche, starts now! Cool?"

"Smiling on the outside," Dracula smiled.

"Will you hug my backpack?"

"No."

Mavis and Johnny's hearse finally drove away and out of the hotel's vacancy lot with the rest of the family waving good-bye.

Ericka turned to her husband. "So, darling, what do you have planned for tonight?"

"I'm going to take the children out to the park tonight for a little together time, my Blood Rose. We'll be having lunch in town. So I know you can handle things from here," he told her with a smile.

"I don't know, Honey," Ericka added doubtfully, "it's pretty late and they do need their sleep."

"Don't worry, precious, they can sleep in the car on the way, and we'll be back at the hotel in no time," he replied.

Giving in after thinking it over, Ericka handed Luna over to her father just as she was starting to nod off. "Okay, Drac, I know you'll look after them."

"Of course, my love. I promise to look after them."

Dracula leaned in and kissed Ericka a passionate goodbye. Their lips parted and Ericka walked back inside to tend to hotel business for the rest of the night.

Luna let out a long yawn next to Dennis, Martha in her daddy's long arm as the little boy moaned tiredly, "Back to bed."

"Ah, yes, we'll get to the bed," Dracula said as he held Dennis and Martha's cheek gently and stroked Luna's hair. "We all love the bed. But we're just gonna do one thing first."

Another black hearse crazily drove up to him and pulled over, driven by the pumpkin headed headless hearse driver. The next instant the entire Drac Pack and Eunice came out the revolving door with several packed suitcases.

"Is it shorts whether where we're going?" Frank asked.

" Frank you did ask Wanda to watch Evan right ?"asked Eunice.

"Yes dear of course I did". said Frank.

"Geez, I hope not," Murray added. "My body isn't swimsuit ready yet."

"Whatever," Dracula rolled his eyes. "Where's Griffin?"

"Hey, can I have a sec, I'm saying good-bye to Emily," the Invisible Man said, two glasses of champagne seemingly floating in the air where he stood.

"Oh, brother," groaned Wayne, not believing Griffin was still trying to pull off the illusion of having an 'invisible girlfriend' after all these years.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," an obvious Griffin said in a girly voice, then continued in his regular voice, "You know you have to be strong, Honey, cause what we have is unbreakable." He did kissing sounds and a girl crying. "Babe, don't cry, everybody's watching."

The Drac Pack did watch this with puzzled or annoyed expressions on their faces.

"Okay, I gotta call him on this," muttered Murray.

"Me too".said Eunice

"Just let him play it out, get it over with," Dracula groaned, then spoke mock pleasantly to the invisible man, "Okay, you two lovebirds drink your champagne and let's get going."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Cheers, babe." Griffin drank his champagne and spilled the other glass, whispered, "Oh, klutz."

"We can't say nothing about this?" Frank questioned.

"Maybe"? asked Eunice.

"No, we don't have time for zingers," Dracula grunted.

Finally the entire gang gathered tightly into the hearse, but Dracula struggled in attempt to buckle the three kids into their children's car seats. He could really grab hold of the seat belt fasteners of Dennis, Martha and Luna's car seats (Dennis's seat is blue while Martha's seat is magenta, Luna is pink).

"How do click in these stupid car seats? Aahh!" Dracula complained in frustration and made a brief scary hilarious face.

"You gotta cut those nails, man," Frank said, frowning.

"Dear be nice".said Eunice

"We just strap our kids down with duct tape." Wayne added.

Dennis, Martha held up their hands to Dracula to stop his struggling and they buckled themselves in perfectly. Luna did the same by clicking the fasteners together easily. Dracula grinned sheepishly. There then came a wet slopping sound when Dracula saw Blobby come down the stairs, leaving a trail of green slime behind him.

"What's he doing here?" Dracula asked, pointing at Blobby with his thumb.

"We told him he could come, he's never been outside the hotel," Frank, Eunice explained.

Dracula didn't want Blobby to come. He had to stop this. "Blobby, there's no room, sorry, man," he told him.

But Blobby made insistent gurgling noises, which made Dracula's face drop, and he immediately squeezed into the hearse, awkwardly squishing everyone together.

"Yeah, that ain't happening," Murray muffled.

"Hhhhm" said Eunice.

"Fine," muffled an annoyed Dracula. "Put him on the rascal. Let's just get going."

Zombie bellhops quickly made a hotel rascal motorcycle into a side car for Blobby, one lost his hand while using a powered screw driver. At last, the hearse drove out of the hotel and into the dark forest.

"Where are we going, Papa Drac?" Dennis, Martha asked, rubbing their tired eyes.

"Are we really going to the park?" Luna yawned.

"Oh, children," Dracula touched their chins gently and replied in excitement, "We're going to have an adventure, a Monstery Adventure!"

"Yay, monsters!" Dennis, Martha yelled excitedly. "We're gonna eat cake!"

"Kakie love cake! Yummy!" Luna cheered.

"What did they say?" Wayne asked, perplexed.

Dracula flinched in embarrassment. "No. No cake on this monster trip," he said sheepishly, trying to salvage the situation.

"No cake cebause Kakie says," Dennis, Martha began, and Luna said in union with him, "Too much cake makes tummy ache. Yay!" they cheered and recited together in union of what they learned on TV, "A monster always shares."

This left the Drac Pack in a state of silent shock.

Griffin's glasses grew so wide. "Wow."

"We may need more than a week," Wayne said, stunned.

"Hey, you know who could fix these kids in a snap?" Frank, Eunice offered with a smile. "Vlad and Lydia."

"What?!" Dracula yelled. "We don't need to call Vlad and Lydia, we got this."

"Who's Vlad and Lydia , Daddy?" Luna asked curiously.

"No one, Night Princess," Dracula said while waving his hand in dismissal, and spoke sweetly with puppy dog eyes, "Uh, you see, children, monsters are nice, just like you." He then got more dramatic in a fun way. "But when the moon comes out…" his hand seemed to hold the moon as a full moon peeked out from between the trees. "The real monster fun begins – Being scary! Right, guys?"

As Dracula told the kids this, Frank turned up the radio so they could listen to the song 'I'm Worth It' by Fifth Harmony, and everyone was dancing to it.

Dracula looked at them in confusion. "Guys? GUYS!" he yelled and switched off the radio. "What is wrong with you?"

"C'mon, everybody likes that song," Frank insisted, to stop the vampire from being such a party pooper.

"We're not everybody," Dracula growled. "We're scary monsters, remember?"

As the Count took out a disc and inserted it into the car stereo, Griffin asked, "Hey, what're you putting in?"

"It's an audio book," Dracula answered with a pleasant smile. "'Bigfoot's Life Story.' He read it himself."

"Chapter 1..." a female voice began.

Soon it was followed by deep inaudible growls. Everyone slumped in disappointment, except for Dracula. He was happily satisfied with his pick since he felt it was far more appropriate for their mission.

"Daddy is such a party pooper," Luna whispered angrily, before falling asleep from the 'life story.'

It soon put Dennis and Martha to sleep from boredom, while Murray watched Blobby happily enjoy the song on some headphones. The mummy sighed deeply, wishing he was listening to music through headphones too.