Chapter Ten:

Preparing to Go On A Quest

"A long time ago, I was sent to this world in a USB pod. Not remembering who I was or where I came from, I've searched for answers. Throughout my adventures; I made a huge discovery; the existence of an SMG1 and an SMG2. They supposedly arrived here in their own USB and, before sacrificing themselves, they gave one last request.

"'We have a Guardian Pod too!' SMG2 said, 'Find it! It'll explain everything!' So now..." SMG4 paused the monitor, which depicted near-crude drawings that retold the events that had happened years ago and recently, "...I have to find 1 and 2's USB."

It had been days since the fat Italian had helped the YouTuber out of his madness phase and since SMG4 had began making videos again. Now, after enough time had passed since the anniversary, the meme man had decided to embark on a quest to find the answers that he sought. If he didn't, he'd likely go crazy again, or something more complicated could come up.

The meme man looked at Mario, who had raised an eyebrow, not getting what he was on about. "What are you talking about?" The fat Italian asked, irking SMG4.

"Anyway, We have no idea where to find their USB." The meme man said, "But we know where we can find mine."

Mario slapped on a sombrero and began shaking Maracas. "WE'RE GOING TO MEXICO!" He exclaimed, "Mario loves a Mexican party! WAHOOOOOOOOO!"

"No, no, no." SMG4 told the fat Italian, slapping the hat off, "The Dark Web. We threw it down there years ago, don't you remember? Do not tell me you're so dumb, you forgot about the story of our first meeting that I told you about before the anniversary."

"Oooooh." Mario looked at SMG4 with wide and derp-y eyes, "You mean THE Dark Web, the place where we encountered Zero. Okay, then let's go get it, bro."

"Navigating the Dark Web isn't gonna be easy, the place is dangerous and very dark, its where the scum of the earth go to do the darkest things imaginable." SMG4 said, "We're gonna need a degenerate who spends a lot of their time on the Dark Web to guide us. And I think I know who."

A nearby chair turned around and the fat Italians locked eyes with Bob Bobowski, the Mushroom Kingdom's number one attention-seeking, shady Garo and ex-rapper. Bob stared at SMG4 blankly as if he had no idea what he had just said. "Oi, YoU WoT m8." The Garo quipped.

"Bob, you scummy no-good and useless to society! Perfect!" The meme man said, "You've know the way around the Dark Web, you can help us."

"WoW. FiRsT of AlL, ScReW yOu FoR cAlLiNg Me UsElEsS tO sOcIeTy." The Garo replied, " SeCoNd, HeL YeAh, ThE DaRk WeB iS wHeRe AlL tHe B*****S aRe At, sUcH aS mY fAvOrItE sTrEaMeR BuTtEr BiRdO."

He held up an I-Pad, showing SMG4 streaming footage of a Birdo stepping on butter. SMG4 stuck his tongue out in disgust and so did Mario.

"LeT's NoT fOrGeT tHaT dUmBaSsEs oN tHe DaRk WeB eNcRyPt ThE GoOd ShIt tHoUgh." Bob added, "We NeEd a HaCkEr."

The Garo pointed across the room and the fat Italians followed where he was pointing, seeing Melony by the TV as it was playing a wacky show. The watermelon waifu was playing with a Mr. Potato Head and having him stab a cartoon character with a fake knife. Melony then stopped and turned, seeing Bob, Mario and SMG4 watching her with mad grins.

"HeY, MeLoNy. WaNnA gO sOmEwHeRe FuN?" Bob asked the watermelon-turned human.

Melony got excited, and then…

"Absolutely not." Someone said, "It won't work like you think it will."

Bob, Mario and SMG4 turned, seeing Axol, seated on the nearby sofa next to Melony's spot. It was the axolotl who had spoken, he'd been listening to a good chunk of the conversation.

"WhAt Do YoU mEaN, BrO?" Bob asked with annoyance.

"There is no way she's going with you to the Dark Web." Axol told the trio, "If Melony sees any of the crap there, she will be traumatized and freeze up."

"Come on!" SMG4 yelled, "She has the powers of a god!"

"Oh yeah?" Axol quipped, "She also has the innocence of a five year old."

Melony overheard the conversation and stood up, glaring at Axol with slight irritation. "No, I'm competent." The watermelon girl told them, she yelped when Mario slapped on a spooky mask and jumped towards her in a creepy manner. "Not competent." Melony then corrected before Mario took the mask off.

"WoW." Bob remarked irritably, "JuSt WoW. SoMeOnE nEeDs To TeAcH hEr HoW tO bE BrAvEr. I'm NoT LoOkInG aFtEr a TodDlEr, MaN."

"But we need her, guys!" SMG4 said with worry, "Her hacking skills are going to be vital."

"Fine, you can bring her along and I'll look after her." Axol quipped irritably. He shot to his feet, looked at Melony and slapped his hands together, "Chonku No Jiutsu!"

Melony vanished in a puff of smoke and a chonk resembling her lay on the ground. Axol then picked up the Chonk-ified Melony and placed her in a pack, watching her as she fell asleep for the time being. "There." He said, "That should keep her safe."

"SIMP!" Mario hollered, prompting Axol to slap him.

"I'm just trying to make sure she's not hurt." Axol yelled.

"Mama mia, I guess I deserved that." The fat Italian groaned.

"Okay, I guess that's everyone." SMG4 smiled, then he frowned, "But wait, I think we're gonna need one more person who knows his way around the Dark Web too."

"LoL, lOoKs LiKe I'm NoT EnOuGh." Bob laughed, "Is ThAt A dIsS tHaT I hEaR."

"No, actually. We can have two Dark Web-knowledgeable associates." SMG4's face brightened up again and he got out his phone, "And luckily, I know just the guy who may be of assistance and he has been there multiple times."

"ArE yOu ReFeRrInG tO ShAdOwSqUiD9?"

The meme man ignored him and dialed the number, listening to the Splatoon-y ringtone as he waited for the line to connect, then the warbly Octarian-accented voice of SMG4's contact spoke on the other end; "Hullo?"

"Ayyyy, what's up, Shad-Squid Nine?" SMG4 remarked happily, "We were just about to head down to the Dark Web, finally decided we're gonna find the answers behind the Guardian Pods and whatever other mysteries about the SMGS are out there. You wanna tag along and help, we could use someone who knows the way around those parts?"

"Now that you mention, I'd be happy to accompany you." ShadowSquid9 said, "In fact, I'm already there. I was just in the midst of a meet with some Inkling dealers and playing cards with a creepy fella when you called. I'll see ya soon, bro."

The call went blank and SMG4 nodded to the others. They were heading out. But before they left, they made sure the castle wasn't too dirty and that everything was perfectly safe. It was time for another adventure...