Chapter 13: Camps & Neighbors
"Wait and see, fellas," Dracula announced in excitement while rubbing his hands together. "These kids will be guzzling goat blood in no time!"
"You have arrived at your destination!" his Peter Lorre voiced phone said, "Yes! Yeees!"
As Dracula pressed his face against the window, his eyes grew so wide hopefully. "Here we are! It's the vampire summer camp I went to as a kid!"
"What is it, Camp Vamp?" asked Wayne.
"No," Dracula said rolling his eyes at the ridiculous name, "Who names their camp 'Camp Vamp'? It's Camp Winnepacaca!"
The hearse drove through a carved wooden gateway with the camp name, lit by old torches and a chandelier with real fire. They drove through the driveway where a fountain with the camp logo, the letter W stylized with bat wings, with spewing and flowing water was in front of the main camp office building which looked to have a feel of an old haunted house with the windows looking like a human skull with spider web designs carved into the woodwork. With both children in his arms, Dracula and his friends made their way through the office and out the other side to the camp grounds where there were more camp activities and cabins, and dozens of little vampire children running around and having fun.
"You see, children," Dracula explained with pride while holding each hand from both kids, "This is where I learned to catch mice." He pounced like he was hunting and had caught a mouse. "And shapeshift." He turned into a giant black wolf, and then teased them as a black snake as he slithered around them in a circle, making Dennis and Martha and Luna laugh, and then became a bat as he held them up with each wing. "And use my incredible powers and strength." He resumed his true form with both kids he held lovingly in the crook of each arm as he concluded with a proud smile, "It's pretty cool, eh?"
"Badminton," Dennis pointed out when he saw some vampire children playing the game.
"Tetherball," Luna and Martha pointed in another direction when their saw more children playing at the tetherball pole.
"Yes, well, I don't remember this bad-minton or tetherball," Dracula responded confused.
"Well, well, is this a night," said a male vampire, a short young man with a beard, glasses, large pointed ears, and wearing black shorts and a shirt with the camp logo and carrying a clipboard. He greeted them in a gentle friendly voice, "How you doing, folks? Welcome to Camp Winnepacaca. I'm Dina the director. We're sure excited to have you legends and legend's wife visiting us tonight. What can I do you for?"
Dracula smiled and kneeled down by his kids and placed his hands on their little shoulders as he said politely, "Well, I'm very interested in sending my daughter,Luna , and my grandkids, Denisovich and Martha , here."
"Oh!" Dina observed the kids through his thick glasses with puzzlement coloring his voice, "This sweet, none fangie, little girls here, and this red headed, none fangie little guy?"
"Oh, they're in there," Dracula reassured the camp director. "They're just late-fangers. That's why we came here. Can you show us some of the drills like where they catch the mice?" He stood up with a dark ethereal grace.
"Can do, of course..." explained Dina, "...now we call it 'Tee-Mousing.'"
Dracula arched an eyebrow while Dana lead them to where they did their 'Tee-Mousing,' where basically camp councilors placed live mice onto a tall tee like where a golf ball would be put and the vampire children took them easily while chuckling.
"So they don't actually have to catch the mice?" Dracula questioned.
"Nope," Dina answered in a smile. "We find that this is a good way to build their confidence."
One little vampire boy went up to the tee and seemed too nervous to take the mouse. "C'mere," he whispered as he tried to swipe at it.
Dracula saw how ridiculous it was and yelled in the poor boy's face, "It's right there! What's the matter with you?!"
The boy then grabbed the mouse and ran off timidly from the frightful Count.
"Okey-pokey," Dina cheered as he held a cage full of live mice.
After seeing that everyone finished Tee-Mousing, Luna got curious about this really cool camp her daddy brought them to. She poked Dennis and Martha at the arm and started to wander off to explore the camp more and went in the direction of one of the cabins, drawn to one that still had some kids in it.
Dracula, the Drac Pack, and Dina followed far behind the curious children as they went up and befriended some of the vampire children, who introduced themselves as three boys named Jack and Luke and Craig, and one girl named Kasey. Eager to show their new friends their bunkhouse, the four vampire children wanted to show Dennis, Martha and Luna two awesome things; an old painted portrait of the original camp director from Dracula's childhood, Gregor, he sort of resembled Grandpa Munster, but he passed away long ago, and finally there was something gross and funny the campers wanted to show off, inside a tiny log shaped coffin they recently discovered.
"It's never come out," Jack told them. "But a story says it was done by a kid hundreds of years ago who became a really famous vampire."
"You mean infamous vampire, cause he's said to be the King of Vampires," added Luke.
"I tried to get my parents to tell me who, but they never did," said Kasey.
"I heard it was supposed to be Count Dracula as a kid," added Craig, who sniggered and all the other kids started giggling, even Luna and Dennis and Martha, and that was when Dracula himself and the others found them.
Dracula boasted with such pride, "Check it out. This is the bunk I slept in! And look..." He walks over to the tiny coffin the other kids found. "Children! This is the coffin I would sleep in!"
"It's small cebause you were small!" Dennis and Martha chirped.
"Yes!" boasted Dracula.
"How old were you, Daddy?" asked Luna .
"I was five, sweetheart," replied Dracula.
"How do you know it's yours? They all look the same." Frank and Eunice questioned.
"This is the one. You know what they say, a vampire never forgets," Dracula smirked.
"I thought that was an elephant," Wayne added.
"Oh, I remember. He's made quite a name for himself around here back in the day." Dana opens the tiny coffin and... reveals an enormous pee stain on Dracula's old bunk. "Yes, sir, that's a bigger landmark at camp than the flagpole," he said humorously.
All of the kids burst out laughing as Craig shouted in uncontrolled laughter, "It was him!"
"Papa Peepee," giggled Dennis and Martha .
"Daddy's a bed wetter," Luna giggled at her father hysterically.
Dracula grunted in maddening humiliation and embarrassment, while his friends chortled from behind whispering the new nickname.
"Ha! Papa Peepee. That's a keeper." Griffin snickered.
"Oh, we don't go for the nicknames here. Kids only get positive reinforcement," Dana instructed.
"All right, moving on!" Dracula yelled as he took the two children by theirs hands once more and pulled them out of the cabin.
They walked along a trail with Dana leading the way, with Dracula slouching until he happily pointed out something he remembered proudly from his own childhood.
"Ah, there it is, children," he told them with a smile. "Where papa learned to fly."
"Ooh, We wanna fly like Papa," Dennis and Martha cheered.
"Me too, me too!" Luna added excitedly.
It was a wooden tower, possibly two hundred feet tall, and looking like it had seen better days as the wood looked worn and rotted, and the tower seemed ready to fall at any moment. At the base it was surrounded by a chain link fence with warning signs to star away as though it were condemned.
Dracula looked at it with a scheming smile until Dina interrupted, "Uh, yeah, we're over here now."
Nearby was a much smaller tower, maybe no more than a few feet high and looked like a little open club house, vampire children wear helmets and harnesses leaped from it from a cord with an inflatable mattress at the base and one camp counselor held a butterfly net while another helped the kids put on the jumping cord.
"Had to scale it down," Dina explained. "Insurance."
The children jumped off the small ledge, and they safely transformed into bats, but one of the kids hesitated and got stuck hanging from the cord.
"Help me, help me, help me!" the little boy cried, before being rescued by a kind female instructor.
Dracula looked on while Dina continued in a rather annoyingly friendly voice "Okey-pokey, see ya at the campfire." And he walked away.
Dracula could only feel disappointment at how much his childhood summer camp had changed, and not for the better in his eyes. He wanted to keep the kids safe, but even he was started to think maybe all this was overkill.
Returning to Santa Cruz, Mavis and Johnny had finally arrived at the house Johnny had grown up in. Ringing the doorbell, Mike and Linda greeted them.
"Well, gosh! Welcome, you two!" Linda smiled.
"Hey gang," Mike droned.
"Hi, guys!" Mavis jumped in for hugs, hugging Linda first and then hugged Mike (which made him smile). "This is so exciting!" She walked into the living room, marveling at everything she saw. "Ah! Look at all of this. So cool." She sat on a couch before getting up to look at a photo of young Johnny from the fireplace mantle. "Wow! I can't believe I'm actually here."
"Well, you are. Now, how does it work, are you up all night and sleep all day?" asked Linda.
"Yeah..." Johnny started, but he was cut off.
"Oh! I'll do whatever you guys want," said Mavis.
"Good! Cause I bought this pretty sunhat for you." Linda pulled up a huge sunhat.
"Linda..." Mike began.
"And otherwise this poncho if you want to be safe," added Linda, thinking it was a good gift.
"We can deal with it later, Linda, " said Mike.
"Okay. Oh! Come see!" Linda lead Mavis and Johnny (who set down his backpack and kissed it affectionately) to the guest room where they will be sleeping. "I set up your bedroom." She opened a door and revealed her makeover.
The room had been set up completely with Halloween decorations and a makeshift coffin. Mavis and Johnny stared in complete shock.
"I'm sorry... is that...?" Mavis pointed to her so-called coffin.
"We didn't have a lot of time, so we just converted our poolside storage bin," explained Linda.
"It's... just like Transylvania." Mavis tried to sound positive about her room.
"Oh, Transylvania. That was a fun experience," Linda said, sweetly ignorant. "Mike was afraid he'd get disemboweled and eaten, but I told he was just being silly."
"That was you, Linda." Mike wasn't amused.
The doorbell rang, getting everyone's attention, except for Mike.
"Oh, there they are!" Linda said. "You know, we have a couple of mixed families in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd invite them over," she said to her vampire daughter-in-law. "They might be nice for you guys to talk to since you're thinking about moving here. Oh! And Johnny, there's some old friends here who want to see you."
"There is?" Johnny was confused, whilst Mavis felt awkward by Linda's supposedly kind nature of inviting mixed families over.
The door was opened by Linda, greeting, "Hi, Caren. Hi, Pandragora."
"Welcome, Mavis." A young human woman named Caren greeted, followed by a Gillman husband entered the house.
"Hey guys," Pandragora the Gillman spoke, grabbing insects from the air and ate them. "Yeah, you're gonna dig it here. Don't even worry, people are totally cool our lifestyle choice."
"I mean, the kids get picked on, but it toughens them up," Caren said to Mavis, which only made the vampire girl concerned.
"Oh Johnny, do you remember Tom Kessel?" Linda asked, opening the door again to allow three more people in.
"Johnny, how are you doing!" Tom was about Johnny's age, yet slightly taller and athletically strong, his skin dark brown and his spiked hair black. He swung a masculine arm around Johnny, locking him in a playful headlock. "Man, it's been too long! How you doing?"
"Urk! Good to... see you... Tom!" Johnny choked, struggling to free himself of his old friend's grasp.
"Uh, excuse me?" Mavis politely tried to save her husband, but already did when Tom noticed her presence.
"So, this is the vampire chick you hooked up with?" Tom released his hold on Johnny, who fell to the floor. "How you doing, babe? Tell me this, do you actually say bleh, bleh, bleh like your dad?"
"Uhh, how do you know, Johnny?" Mavis asked, feeling awkward by the question.
"We go way back from elementary school to high school," Johnny explained, catching his breath.
"Johnny, you remember my wife, Betty? And I want you to meet our son, Kyle." Tom gestured to the short dark haired and dark skinned woman and five year old boy standing close by.
"Hey, Johnny." Betty waved politely. "Hi, Mavis. Welcome to California." She grasped the female vampire's hand in a friendly hand shake, which Mavis returned the handshake, smiling.
Betty tapped her son's 's shoulders to say hello, when he was busy distracting himself by playing with his racecar toys. "Kyle! You need to say hello!" Betty whispered through her teeth.
"Huh? Oh, hey, how you doing?" Kyle greeted, casually.
"You know, we have a son back in Transylvania close to their age," Mavis suggested. "Maybe your kid would like to have a playdate with Dennis someday?"
"That's not a bad idea!" Betty was eagerly up for it.
"Wait! You said their kid is a vampire! What if he sucks my blood?" Kyle asked warily, not too thrilled by the idea.
Mavis felt her insides sting by the little boy's question, but she assured him, "Oh no, Dennis is totally human, nothing to worry about. Hehe."
The doorbell rang again. Mike opened it, this time a lady entered and her husband had a scraggly beard.
"Oh, hey, you guys! This is Loretta, she's married to Paul, who's a werewolf," Linda told Mavis and Johnny.
"Excuse me?" Paul wrinkled his forehead.
"I was telling Mavis about the other monster-human couples in town," explained Linda, cheerfully.
"I am not a werewolf," Paul insisted, his wife Loretta looking just as cross as he was.
"Oh... I thought..." Linda realized she made a mistake, but remained cheerful. "Well, you're welcome to stay and have some cupcakes!"
With a bitter expression, Paul turned and left the house, dragging Loretta with him.
"Awkward!" Tom whispered in a singsong tone.
Then Linda held out a tray of cupcakes to show off for everyone. "I made them special for Mavis." The cupcakes were frosted in creepy, monstery decorations. "I asked all the kids in the neighborhood what their worst nightmares were!" she announced proudly.
Mavis tried to keep up the feign smile of politeness.
A few minutes later Dracula, the kids, and the Drac Pack joined Dana and several other vampire kids around a large campfire hearth for singing camp songs, although Frank, due to his great pyrophobia, didn't want to be left out of the fun. Dracula was the only one who never sang, slouching and frowning throughout their singing.
"Vampires will be friends forever, through the centuries together," Dina and the children, even Dennis, Martha and Luna , sang as they did gestures to the lyrics with the Drac Pack and Eunice joining in. "Even in the brightest sunny weather, Vampire with be friends forever." The song reached its end as Dina jammed on his guitar, "Literally, forever."
Everyone cheered except for Dracula, who still sat hunched over with his long cape wrapped around his body, his in a deep frown. Dennis and Martha on one side of him and Luna in the other.
"Great job, vampires," Dana cheered. "Give yourselves a hug."
Everyone gave themselves a warm gentle hug, except Dracula. Finally, he decided he'd had enough of this nonsense. He grabbed each of his kids and grumbled to his friends, "We're going." Dracula put Dennis and Martha on his shoulders and held Luna in one of his arms.
"What? Where?" asked a disappointed Frank, while the others exchanged confused faces.
A little later, they found themselves climbing up the incredibly dangerous rickety old wooden tower.
"Why are we doing this?" asked Murray.
Dracula easily walked up the tower like he was walking down a rooftop; he turned back to his friends to respond in rudely, "You'd rather be listening to those putrid new songs? What happen to 'Michael Roll Your Corpse Ashore' or 'Old McWerewolf had an Axe?'"
Nobody answered, but continued to climb the tower's ladder until they finally reached the top. Everyone tried to be extra careful not to do something that might make the tower collapse. They either gasped frightfully or tried not to look down at the tremendous height they were up against. Wayne was terrified the most as his body shook while he carefully climbed the ladder.
"We shouldn't be up here, Drac!" Frank said, trying to cautiously reach the top.
At the top, Dracula held the kids easily in each hand out in front of him and asked playfully, "Who's ready to fly?"
"Me, me, like a superhero!" Dennis and Martha yelled excitedly.
"Me too, me too, a superhero!" Luna giggled in her daddy's grasp.
"Better! Like a vampire!" he said excitedly to them in anticipation.
"This thing is rickety! You know, maybe the kids aren't supposed to fly!" Frank said fearfully as he made it to the top, soon followed by the others.
"Quiet!" Dracula hissed back at him. "This is how they learn. You throw them and they figure it out." His friends couldn't believe their ears. "It's how I was taught."
"We wanna fly now!" Dennis and Martha chirped.
"Me too! Fly, fly!" Luna squealed.
"Atta bats," Dracula smiled to them encouragingly. "You know Papa's right here if you need him."
"Oh, I can't watch this." A worried Griffin took off his glasses.
"Please don't," pleaded Murray.
"I can't watch",Eunice close her eyes.
But Dracula ignored them. The kids held hands with each other and smiled, as Dracula prepared to do the stupidest thing no one would ever do to children. "Here... we... GO!"
And he tossed both Dennis, Martha and Luna over the side as they squealed together, "Wheee!"
The horrified Drac Pack looked over the edge at the falling children. Dracula stood in place with a satisfied smug on his handsome sharp face.
"They're still not flying," Frank, Eunice said.
"They will," Dracula said confidently.
"Still not," Wayne said.
"It'll happen."
"This is a tall tower," Frank and Eunice glanced at him.
"That's why it's good."
"You should get 'em," Murray insisted.
"They're gonna fall to their deaths," Wayne argued.
"They're taking their time."
Suddenly, he kids started screaming.
"DRAC!" Frank, Eunice yelled.
"I did that my first time."
"They're getting too close to the ground!" panicked Murray.
Dracula slightly opened his eyes and finally admitted defeat, "You know what, they're not gonna fly."
And he dived downward in an instant, changing into a bat to catch up to the falling children. He never noticed the other vampire children take out their own cell phones and started filming this stunt in amazement, while Dina was in a state of shock at what he witnessed.
It was a tense situation as Dracula nosed dived at incredibly speed to reach his kids. At the very last second, he caught them just as they were inches above the ground, loop-de-looping upward as he transformed back into his original form and held the frightened children closer to him chest.
"I told you. Papa's always here for you." He said tenderly to them.
"I'm sorry we didn't fly like you tried to teach us, Daddy," apologized Luna.
"It's okay, my little black kitten," Dracula kindly reassured her. "I know you're trying."
"Again, again!" Dennis and Martha shouted excitedly concurred, as Dracula held them proudly just as he landed gracefully.
"Oh dear. Oh my devil!" Dina gasped with heavy breathing from running up to them. "We're gonna have to report this."
"You mean to the papers?" Dracula asked, thinking the entire world wanted to know about the kids' amazing stunt. "I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press."
"No, sir, I mean to the authorities," Dina firmly corrected him. "I can't not report child endangerment."
Dracula was stunned. How can someone report him to the authorities when he did nothing wrong. "Whoa, listen to me." He pushed Dina's clipboard down with a long finger. "That was fun! Your singing is child endangerment!"
Back up on the tower, Wayne had seen Dracula get into trouble with Dina. "Should we go down and help him?"
"Nope," Frank refused, having enough. "I told him this was nuts. He's on his own." He pretended to act bored and leaned against a far loose railing, but his weight was too much for the old tower and it began to dangerously tilt back.
"You're the girl's father, right?" Dina argued with Dracula, both failing to notice the tower tilting to the side. "We have to call her mother, and the twins mother!"
"No, that ain't happening," Dracula refused, dismissing it with wave of his hand. "Their mothers' are already nusty-cukoo!"
"I have to follow protocol," Dana argued as he sternly tapped at his clipboard.
Dracula pulled his cape up to half his face to look sinister and his eyes glowed menacingly red as his voice echoed deeply and he said hypnotically, "You will not follow protocol."
Dana looked like he was enthralled but then spoke reasonably, "I'm a vampire, I can't be hypnotized."
"Ugh. Right," Dracula groaned, his eyes stopped glowing.
"Uh, Daddy…?" Luna tugged at Dracula's cape and pointed at the collapsing tower with concern.
"Papa Drac, Mr. Dina…?" Dennis and Martha tried to help, but neither of the grown-ups would listen to them.
"Now, please, don't make me call the police," Dina warned the Count.
"No one's calling nobody!" Dracula retorted.
All of a sudden there came an explosion. Dracula made a face that said 'uh-oh' and Dana turned around to see where it came from. The vampire children continued to film with their smart phones in fascination. The old tower had fallen right into the campfire hearth and poor Frank was set ablaze and started panicking.
"FIRE!" Frank screamed and ran all over the area, setting the camp site building on fire as his friends pursued him and tried to tell him to calm down.
"Baby,calm down"! Eunice screamed
"Stop, drop, and roll!" Murray yelled repeatedly.
"Frank, no!" hollered Griffin.
"Screaming's not helping!" shouted Wayne.
The vampire children cheered in excitement as they took out sticks with marshmallows on them for a big marshmallow roast with the burning campsite building, but behind them Luna and Dennis, Martha looked on in shame. They glanced at each other and went up to Dracula, who remained frozen in shock. Dana's mouth had fallen open in horror.
Dennis and Martha timidly tugged on Dracula's cape to get his attention, asking sadly, "Are we bad guys, Papa Drac?"
"Are we gonna get in trouble?" Luna asked, nearly tearfully.
"Bad?" Dracula repeated nervously, when he saw the kids give him innocent tearful eyes. He tried to reassure with them as he picked them up in his arms, "No, you're the best kids in the world. We didn't start the fire, it was the tower." He shouted right in Dana's face to pin the blame on him, "That's a very unsafe tower! You're lucky we don't call the authorities!" He put Dennis and Martha on his shoulders and carried Melany in his other arm, grinning, "Let's go, my heroes."
"Cebause I'm Batman!" Dennis exclaimed enthusiastically.
"And We're Batgirl!" yelled Luna,Martha.
"To the Batmobile!" Dennis continued.
"Heh, heh, yes," laughed Dracula, as he made his way back to the hearse. "To the...!"
But a burning tree suddenly fell on top of the car, causing it to explode spectacularly. Dracula, the kids and Dana, from behind his clipboard, were stupefied. A burning wheel bounced past them. Wayne barking happily as he chased after it in a game of fetch.