Chapter 17: Monster Masquerade
In the grand ballroom of Hotel Transylvania, another lively birthday party took place with a spider web banner saying 'Happy 5th Birthday Dennis, Martha and Luna .' A litter of ravenous wolf pups raced though the large ball room, one even stole a birthday hat from a Gillman kid, and they past Mavis in a hurry while she carried a tray of cupcakes and smiled at them. She also wore her old vampire cape she had made for her own 118th birthday some years before. The werewolf pups passed a group of unusual zombies (the Loughrans) that started limping and groaning towards Mavis, which made her uncomfortable, but the Loughrans started laughing.
"So, what do think, Mavis? I think I'm starting to like being creepy," Linda chuckled.
Mavis chuckled uncomfortably, though she knew her in-laws were trying, it still felt offensive. She then noticed her kids, wearing a Batman,Batgirl Costume with four sets of his curly hair sticking out while his sister was sticking in from both top sides of their masks, playing all by themselves.
"You're lucky we don't call the authorities. Let's go, my hero!" Dennis and Martha wrapped their cape around half of them face to look spooky like their grandfather. "Cebause We're Batman and Batgirl ! Whee-hee!" He imitated his Papa Drac as they leapt from the chair. "Yes, to the Batmobile!"
Dennis and Martha were suddenly ambushed by Winnie and Willie , who wore a nice white party dress with a bow around it and other one wore a nice suit with bowtie. They started licking their giggling friends vigorously again.
But then, the cousins Troy and Connor showed up. Troy was dressed in a supervillain Vrak costume, a freak TV show villain, and Conner was dressed in the Headless Horseman costume. The two boys came over to make fun of poor Dennis and Martha . Mavis watched her children in sympathy. It was just as she feared. Dennis and Martha would be seen as a freak, like her.
"Got your butt kicked by a girl, Batman!" Troy sneered mockingly.
Not tolerating their zing being made fun of, Winnie and Willie growled at those bullying cousins. They barked ferociously and violently at them. Their sudden barks scared Troy and Connor so much that two boys drew back.
"Yeah, whatever," Troy muttered before a tear slid out of his eye. "I'm not about to cry!"
The two cowardly bullies walked away. Winnie and Willie till growled angrily at them until they were gone. Dennis and Martha smiled in gratitude for their best friends .
Not too far away, Ericka wore a vampire dress and cape, resembling the gown Martha used to wear in her portrait. She wore make up to make her look pale and fake fangs for more effect. The blonde flinched when she suddenly felt a pinch on her bottom and turned around to see Dracula smiling at her playfully. Even though it was inappropriate in public, she returned a playful smile of her own.
"You look beautiful, as always," Dracula complimented charmingly, but then got a little serious as he whispered, "But as soon as my father gets here, your name is Ericka Bloodbayne."
"Uhh, why?" Ericka didn't understand why her husband wanted to use a name like Bloodbayne.
At the food table Luna , wearing a pretty black dress along with her little vampire cape from the road trip and red stockings with black shoes, helped herself to a cupcake from the table. Just then, Lily , dressed as a ghost bride, and Ava, dressed as a broken porcelain gothic doll, approached her, but not to have treats.
"Hi, Daddy's Princess," Lily greeted mockingly. "That's all you're wearing for your party? C'mon, I thought this was a monster costume party. It's a shame your mom's married to a monster!" Those harsh words caused the selfish brats to chortle cruelly.
Witnessing her nieces insulting her daughter, Ericka watched in sympathy for Luna. Dracula's face frowned in both anger and sadness for he feared this is what it would be like if his little girl moved away.
As Luna glared defiantly at her cousins, she wanted to say something snippy back at them, but had nothing to say. Just then, a young girl close to her age interrupted from behind them, "Leave her alone!"
They turned to see Evan , wearing a black suit with blue pants. Witnessing what the poor birthday girl was going through,Evan couldn't stand it anymore and decided now is the time to intervene. Luna was really stunned to see somebody else jumping to her defense, although she grew more irritated by her cousins constant teasing when neither of them or intimidated by the newcomer's warning.
"Oooh." Lily sneered. "What are you gonna do? Shove cake in my face?"
The look on Evan's face shifted to what one would describe as murderous. Next thing you know, he swiftly lunges forward as if he was a feral cougar, and the sounds of fabric being torn had made the shocked eyes of Luna and her parents stare at what the black- haired little boy had done.
The girls' hair had been shocked and they screamed their heads off, bawling like a pair of crybabies. "Waaaah! Mommyyy!" they cried pathetically, running off and trying to cover up their bold spots where Evan had ferociously shocked their disheveled their bold parts.
Luna barely restrained a chuckle, until she burst out laughing. As for Evan, he just brushed his arms off with a smug grin. From what a pleased Ericka and Dracula had witnessed, this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship between the two kids.
At that moment, Vlad and Bela arrived just outside the hotel, crossing the long bridge before Vlad announced in an observant tone, "Hotel Transylvania."
"I smell... HUMANS!" Bela hollered in disgust. "Tear it down!" The crony eagerly flexed his deadly claws.
Even though Bela was closer to the truth, Vlad shrugged, telling him what should have been obvious, "Bela, we're in the outside world. You're gonna smell humans. You know what, just wait outside for me. This is family stuff; you'll only get in the way." He patted his bat minion's head like common lap dog, causing the bat crony to growl. "I just wanna meet the little fangers, and maybe this little Luna, and get Denisovich and Martha's fangs to pop out. Besides, they should know their great-vampa."
"His what?!" Bela yelled confused.
"Vampire grandpa. C'mon that was obvious," Vlad replied as he made his way to the castle, unknowingly reminiscing his son's words.
Bela groaned, reluctantly content to obey his master's orders.
Back inside, Dracula made his rounds nervously as the party host. He smiled politely as a recurring pink cyclopsian monster complemented to him, "Amazing party." The vampire lord chuckled nervously in response, but then saw something that made him stop in his tracks.
"So, what do you think?" Johnny asked his father-in-law, referring to his vampire costume, which had to be the most ridiculous vampire costume Dracula had ever seen. It was a mockery of vampiredom, of the costume from the 1992 movie Bram Stoker's Dracula, complete with a long red robe and a ridiculous white powder wig, and Johnny's face was painted to look pale, and he wore big fake fangs.
"This is your vampire costume?" Dracula yelled, incredulously. "What are you, nuts?"
"I ordered it online," Johnny confessed. "It was the only place that delivered over night."
"You look like you've got a baboon's butt on your head! Have you at least practiced your voice? You can't just talk like a hippie."
"I'm not a hippie! I'm a slacker."
"Talk like a vampire!"
"My name is Count Jonafang," Johnny tried to mimic Dracula's Romanian accent. "I am a vampire."
"Okay, vampires don't go around saying, 'I am a vampire,'" Dracula corrected him mockingly.
"Sorry. I am Count Jonafang, bleh, bleh-bleh."
"Are you kidding me?"
"I'm sorry. I'm nervous!"
"Yeah, listen, if you think I don't like it, you definitely don't want to say 'bleh, bleh-bleh' in front of my father."
"Sir!" A suit of armor had cut in their conversation to announce the arrival of another human, who looked obviously bored. "Master Kakie has arrived."
The guard left while Johnny introduced the new human to Dracula. "Oh, hey. Drac, this is Brandon, aka Kakie. We got him for Dennis, Martha and Luna."
"Hey man," Brandon greeted in a bored voice.
"Nauseated to meet you," Dracula greeted with the same annoyed and bored tone.
"When is this happening?" Brandon asked. "I've got a book fair in half an hour."
Meanwhile, Ericka was checking up on her friends and family, almost not recognizing her father when she saw him in his costumes. Frederick and Madeline wore vampiric Victorian gentleman and lady costumes, with painted pale faces to hide their human-y skin color. Rose wore the black dress of Nessarose from Wicked and her hair tied up in a bun, but she was forced to wear makeup to look vampire-y.
"So, how do you all like them?" Ericka gawked, trying not to giggle.
"This is pathetic..." Frederick grumbled. He didn't really like wearing a vampire costume, but if this is for his granddaughter, that's fine. "But why couldn't you invite Quinston, Harper and Levon? They would've loved to-" His words got cut off by his daughter snapping at him.
"How many times do I have to say no!? Quinston and his lackeys are banned from the hotel!" Ericka's blood boiled at the mere mention of that creep, making it perfectly clear that troublemaker is no longer allowed to set foot inside the hotel. "Just have fun and stop talking about that jerk, got it?"
Her father took a step back, despite his sudden reaction, he was slightly angry and believed his daughter was treating Quinston too poorly.
Sighing, Ericka strolled off to get away from her incompetent family. She noticed the rest of her friends in different costumes; Amanda and Gerald were wearing a pair of Day of the Dead skeleton couple costumes. Even the twins, David and Dawn, looked so adorable in their costumes.
"Knowing Quinston, I have no doubt that pompous oaf is gonna try something shady when we don't expect it," Gerald warned his friend to be cautious. "So, we should at least be prepared if he does show up, unannounced and uninvited." After Ericka nodded, he looked over at himself and grew unsure about wearing a costume when meeting a very old, very ancient and very strict vampire for the first time. "Honestly, I don't see how this is supposed to impress your father-in-law. Especially if this is your first time meeting this guy."
"Oh, I'm sure he must be the doting, loving, cranky grandfatherly type, like Grandpa Munster," Amanda added, none the wiser and determined to be optimistic.
All of a sudden, as though on cue, there came a loud crack of thunder as lightning flashed from somewhere. The great hall door burst open to reveal an elderly cranky vampire, along with a threatening red background behind him.
Vlad demanded loudly in a raspy voice, "Alright, where's my vampson and vampdaughter?!"
Everyone froze at the vampires' sudden arrival, staring in silence and shock, not knowing what to do or say. One yeti even let his champagne glass fall and shatter, the only noise to be heard for a few long seconds. Even Luna's cousins and Dennis and Martha's cousins stared at Vlad in dreaded silence.
"I think I need a change of underwear," Gerald whispered in terror, having accidently peed in his pants.
"Oh please," Dracula sourly groaned. "Still have to make such a dramatic entrance." He swiftly blocked Brandon from Vlad's view as he greeted his father in mock pleasant voice, "Dad! Look at you, ho-ho!"
But Vlad was clearly less than impressed with his son's new way of immortal life by running a hotel. "So, you run a hotel now?" he scoffed disapprovingly. "From Prince of Darkness to King of Room Service." His tone was clear with thoughts of how the mighty have fallen. Right now, he had more important things to get done. "Now, are we ready to do this thing?
"Yes, so good to see you, heh-heh. I'll be right with you," Dracula shouted loud enough for his father to hear, while he scooched Brandon out of view.
Frank ate up an entire plate of raw fisheyes covered in what appeared to be melted sauce and cheese, munching loudly and pleasantly. Dracula whispered to his golem friend, "Keep Vlad and the others away from the humans, and keep him away from Ericka , Luna and Mavis." And he pushed Brandon out of sight.
"I'm on it!" Frank replied with a mouth full of food as he gave his friend a salute.
Mike and Linda came up to Vlad and the vampires, still moaning like zombies they were dressed in, until Linda stopped to compliment the elder vampire, "Oh, now that's a neat costume."
Vlad sniffed at this unusual 'zombie.' "These two smell funny," he said suspiciously.
"Oh, you're European," Linda said ignorantly. "It's call de-oder-ant."
"Nothing like insulting an entire continent, Linda," Mike grumbled in annoyed boredom to his wife.
Then Frank immediately put himself between the Loughrans and the newly arrived guest, nervously greeting, "Hey, Count, how goes it? Remember me?" He pushed Johnny's parents to the side.
"Ah, yes, the floor cracker," Vlad nodded. "Franklinberg, was it?"
"Uh, it's Frankenstein, sir. Actually, I'm technically 'Frankenstein's monster.' You know, Frankenstein, he's the doctor who..."
But Vlad wasn't interested so he glided away. "Would love to hear more. Call my people."
But Frank jumped in front of him in order to keep him busy, "So let me, uh, introduce you to my family and some of your son's other buddies."
This is my wife Eunice and kids,Pixel,Frankie,Alivia,Alex,Hank,Arianna,Fran,Grundy,Jammay,Faye,Evan.
"Hi".Frank's family said.
They walked up to Murray, who was flirting and kissing his wife's hand of the female mummy, while Frank introduced the overweight mummy, "Uh, this is Murray and his son Pedro."
"Aaah! Please don't kill me!" Murray and Pedro shrieked, but then tried to play it cool. "I mean, uh, yo, V! What's up?"
"Talking toilet papers." Vlad looked unimpressed. "Well, that's a new one."
Murray's shoulders slumped, feeling hurt.
"Alright, where's this kids , and this Luna ? That's who I want to meet," Vlad announced with authority posture as he straightened out his high collar.
"Johnny!" Frank called nervously, and 'Jonafang' peeked out from behind a group of socializing monsters and walked nervously up to his grandfather-in-law. "This is Dracula's son-in-law," the golem introduced, bowing and left Johnny to talk with the vampires.
"I..."Johnny tried not to flinch while introducing himself as Vlad glared intimidatingly at him, "…am Count Jonafang. Bleh, bleh-black sheep..." Vlad looked him straight in the eye as Johnny made sure not to say the words that nobody likes to hear, "...have you any wool."
Vlad then noticed his wig, mildly surprised. "What's that thing on your head? Look like my grandmother's boobies." Johnny stared laughing nervously at this joke, joined by Frank and Murray. But Vlad didn't find it funny, remaining stone-faced. "Not funny. Your generation is sick."
"Excuse me, Mr. Vlad," Ericka interrupted, entering the scene. "But I really think you should be a little more respectful to the monsters around you. And I don't think 'boobies' is an appropriate word at a children's party."
"And who are you to be telling me what I can or can't say?" Vlad berated the lady vampire, before he studied her appearance. "You look a lot like Martha. Although you do look like her, she wasn't a full vampire as I understand she had a 12 times great-grandmother who had a cousin who was human from Baltimore or whatever nonsense."
"Oh, uh, I'm Ericka Bloodbayne, Dracula's wife, and your daughter-in-law," she nervously introduced herself respectfully, remembering her husband's request to change her name.
"Drac remarried?" Vlad was totally surprised and confused.
"Uh, yes," Ericka was so nervous she accidently spat out the news her husband, who was nearby, didn't want Vlad to hear. "And we're so glad you could make it to your granddaughter's and great-grandson's birthday."
"I have another granddaughter?" Vlad shouted, further infuriated. "That must be who this Luna is." The elder vampire felt insulted at not knowing of Luna's existence and not being invited to Dracula's second wedding. Ericka grinned sheepishly as if to say 'oops.' But Vlad suddenly brushed it off like it was nothing. "Never mind. It's a pleasure to know there are more vampires in the family, and I would really like to meet them."
There came a sudden swoop of blue cloud as Ericka disappeared, much to everyone's surprise. Dracula took her to a far corner of the room and out of earshot.
"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded, his face filled with alarm.
"Introducing myself to my father-in-law," Ericka simply told him like it was no big deal. "We were going to meet sooner or later, and he was bound to find out about Martha anyway."
"Just stay away from my father! I don't want to risk him finding out the truth about you!" Dracula warned his wife, desperately clutching her arms.
At that moment, Dennis and Martha had come running up to Johnny, who picked them up, when he had seen the elderly vampire. "Daddy, who's the man with the funny face?" the little boy and girl asked, pointing to old vampire.
"Are this the kids ? The later-fanger?" Vlad asked, pointing to the little red curly and little black haired boy and girl .
"Heh, they sure is," Johnny answered.
To make things worse for poor Johnny, Luna came following after her young nephew, so Johnny had to pick her up as well, which he surprisingly had no problem holding both kids in his arms.
"Johnny, who's the old man with the blue face?" Luna asked while pointing at Vlad, and looked at the elder vampire hopefully. "Do you wanna play with me?"
"This is Luna ? My granddaughter?" Vlad questioned, pointing at the little girl.
"Uh, yes," Johnny replied, nervously.
Vlad gave his best friendly smile to the little girl. "Let me see those fangs." In a swift movement, Dracula scooped up his little girl and embraced her very tightly to his chest, trying to shield her from his father. "What're you doing?" Vlad was confused.
"Oh, I just love her so much, I want to hug her..." Dracula replied, awkwardly hugging Luna. "...right in the fangs, that she has."
With a wave of his bony hand, Vlad telekinetically levitated Luna out of a worried Dracula's arms and brought her closer to his face. "I repeat, let me see those fangs."
Unsure of what was going on, Luna obeyed and opened her mouth wide enough for Vlad to peer inside and look for fangs. Dracula and Johnny braced themselves for the worst. Then Vlad glared at the two men with a raised wispy eyebrow after finding no trace of fangs. Dracula gave him a sheepish grin. Johnny quietly gulped. Just whe nthey assumed the old, terrifying vampire found out their secret...
"Ah, she's late-fanger." Vlad waved his hands in amusement. "Just like her niece and nephew, and you."
"Yes, heh-heh. Just like me." Dracula laughed nervously, but in silent relief that his father didn't catch on to the child being human. He gentle Luna put back down to the floor. As soon as Johnny put Dennis back down on the floor, the two children ran off to play with a werewolf pup being ridden by a Gillman child.
"The big shot here was a little crybaby alright," Vlad told a little story to Johnny, teasing his son out of amusement.
"Yes, I was." Dracula chuckled, and his son-in-law giggled nervously.
Vlad pointed to his grown son with his thumb, smirking. "He used to pee in his bed."
"Okay, Dad." Dracula groaned, slouching.
"So, as we planned before, Drac, we'll just scare the fangs out of both kids."
"What did you say?" Johnny gasped in surprised, not sure if he heard him right.
"Drac came to me the other night, asking for my help in bringing out my great-grandson's fangs," Vlad explained with a sinister smile, much to his son's dismay. "But I'll also do it for my late fanging granddaughter, too. We just need to scare the fangs out of the kids."
"Hare ha hangs?" Johnny stammered his words nervously.
"Yep, it's what I did for Mr. Tough Guy here," Vlad gestured towards a grumpy Dracula and then demonstrated as he took a green balloon and levitated it in front of the two men. "First, you've got to possess something the late fanger finds sweet and innocent." The balloon flexed sharp spikes like Vlad was squeezing it, to demonstrate how possessing either a cute, harmless creature or object will transform it into a hideous, blood-curdling monster. "Then you show them what's what and..." The balloon burst as Vlad made a fist. "POP!"
Dracula and Johnny watched, followed by astonished yet horrified gasps the second the balloon popped.
"Trust me, it'll scare the fangs right out," Vlad assured them proudly. "Right, Drac?"
"Seriously, guys..." Just then, a bored Brandon had come up to them, all dressed up in his full Kakie costume. "If I'm late for the book fair, I'll miss the street fair." He began to make his way to the stage.
Smiling, Dracula patted his father on the shoulder, gesturing toward Kakie. "That's your guy."
Vlad chuckled evilly as he glided after Kakie, like a predator stalking after his prey.
No sooner did he leave, an infuriated Johnny smacked the shocked vampire lord's arm. "Why didn't you tell me before that was your plan!? That sounds harsh, even for you!" For a slacker, he really did have moments of showing his anger and paternal protectiveness.
"Shh! It was the last option I could think of," Dracula explained, as though there was no other choice left to him.
"Seriously, possessed? But Dennis, Martha and Luna will be so upset!"
"Don't you get it?" Dracula turned round to face him, desperation colored his pale face. "This is our ticket! If this works for Luna and Denisovich, Martha ... Boom! They're vampires, and you all get to stay here!"
"Alright, alright," Johnny sighed in defeat. "Uh, capishe."
"Good call."