Eri pushed herself further back into the closet, her spine pressed tight against the drywall. Her hands trembled slightly and she tightened her grip on the knife, tip pointed directly outwards from her chest.

Shouta said she should stab anyone she doesn't recognise. Shouta said she just needed to wait for him to come back for her. Shouta said to be quiet. Shouta said he loved her. Shouta didn't give her time to say it back. Shouta was going to come back. Shouta wouldn't leave her.

She'd tried to stab the policeman who opened the closet door. He'd been too fast, but it got them to leave her alone. She didn't like being alone again, but she just needed to wait for Shouta. He'd come back. She had his knife, the same one that he always carried, the same one that he sharpened every week. He cared about the knife and he cared about her so he had to come back .

The door opened again and she got ready to stab, but paused when she saw a familiar face. Yagi was Shouta's friend. He wouldn't like it if she stabbed his friend.

"Hello, Eri," he said quietly, crouching down," Can you give me that knife, please?"

Panic welled up in her chest and her hands started to shake, even as she held the knife so tightly that her fingers hurt," Not 'til Shouta comes back," she said, voice wavering," 'M gonna give it back to him."

Yagi stared at her, his face motionless in a way that made her spine prickle. He didn't move, though, and that was enough for some of the tension in her to uncoil. Just when her hands had stopped shaking, though, he spoke again.

"Eri, I'm so sorry, but Shouta isn't coming back."

"No!" she shouted, kicking a leg out and catching the back of his hand," You're a liar! He's gonna come back for me!"

Yagi pulled away, out of her reach unless she moved away from the wall. She pulled her legs back in, curling tightly into the corner. Yagi moved from crouching to sitting outside the doorway, looking at her. She didn't like the way he looked at her. It reminded her of how everyone looked when she was rescued from Kai. Concerned and patient but like they couldn't see her . They just saw someone who was broken. She hated it.

"Go away!" She shouted, louder than before," I want Shouta! Go away! Go away! Go away!"

He didn't move. He sat silently for several minutes before he even spoke," I know that you're scared and angry right now. But Shouta isn't coming back. He's dead, Eri. He can't come back from that."

Eri's chest filled with ice, spreading out into her arms and legs, and up into her throat.

No.

Shouta said he wouldn't leave her.

Shouta said she was safe.

Shouta said she had a family now.

Shouta wouldn't do that to her.

Shouta was better than that.

Shouta was a hero.

Shouta wasn't supposed to die.

Yagi's hand reached for her again and Eri was lashing out before she could think, pushing the knife forward with all her strength. She managed a long, shallow cut along his arm before he pulled back. Shouta wouldn't like that.

The thought made her chest tighten and she found herself gasping for air. Shouta would never let her hurt his friend but he wasn't there . Tears were pouring down her face and she could barely see but she still held the knife out in front of her like a lifeline. She was shaking, not just her hands but her entire body. She wasn't cold, though. Even with the ice in her chest and the tears on her face.

She felt like some part of her was floating, tethered to her through the knife in her hands. The leather handle felt like a promise. A promise that Shouta was keeping her safe, that he'd be back for her any minute now. It was the only thing that felt real.

So she held tight to the knife and pushed her back against the wall and let Yagi's words fall past her ears. She knew he was talking but she couldn't bring herself to listen. She didn't want to hear anything he had to say. He'd only told her things that hurt, that made her chest ache and her body distant. She blinked and she breathed and she held onto Aizawa's knife.

Eventually, she noticed that her legs were numb. Not numb like the rest of her, distant and floaty, but numb like she'd been sitting still for too long. She shifted her weight a bit, the movement forcing her into her body just a bit more than she wanted.

"What if I let you keep the knife?" Yagi asked, the words only slightly delayed as they filtered into her brain.

She didn't respond, but she looked at him, instead of simply staring into the air.

"If I let you keep the knife, will you come with me? You can't sleep here, and we both need to eat."

Eri didn't respond. She looked at Yagi properly, though. He looked tired. The cut on his arm had scabbed over, but she could see flecks of dried blood where he hadn't fully wiped it off. The apartment was silent. She vaguely remembered sirens before he'd arrived, and voices after. Now the apartment just felt empty.

It'd never felt this empty before. Even when it was just her and Shouta, it felt fuller than it did now. Maybe it was because Yagi looked sadder and emptier than Shouta ever did, even when he'd told her that she wouldn't see Nemuri again. Maybe it was her. She'd been empty and floaty when she was rescued, but she never felt like this. Never felt like her insides had been scooped out. She already knew what it was like to be empty, but now she knew what it was like to have everything gouged away.

"You won't try to take it?" She finally responded, voice quiet.

Yagi's shoulders relaxed slightly," I won't. You don't need to let me touch you, either. You just need to come home with me."

She nodded and shakily stood, letting Yagi lead her and the handle's worn leather ground her.