It was a normal day in the lair of Lord Zed as he played with his junk like there was no tomorrow.
Zed was holding a shard of glass in one hand and a piece of cardboard in the other.
"Hello Mr. Glass Shard, it's nice to meet you" said the cardboard piece.
"Hello Mr. Cardboard, it's nice to see you too" said the glass shard.
The glass and cardboard then walked over to the dreamhouse and began hanging out with their best friend, Mr. Used Heroine Needle.
As Zed played around, one of the Putties burst into his lair and said "your highness I-"
Lord Zed raged as he put away his trinkets and said "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO PLAY WITH MY JUNK!?" before pulling out an M16 and shooting the Putty in the face.
Lord Zed then continued playing around with his glass, cardboard, and heroine needle and proceeded to have a great time.
After a while, Lord Zed remembered "oh yeah, I forgot I was going to torture the pink ranger to death today! Silly me"
A sitcom laugh track played as he grabbed a bunch of his putties and went to go kidnap Kimberly.
…
Kimberly was sitting in her room, playing a nice game of Sonic Adventure on her Playstation 2. She was currently playing Big the Cat's fishing stage and was kicking major ass at it.
"When it comes to using bait to catch fish, I'm a master baiter" said Kimberly.
Suddenly the Putties teleported into Kimberly's room and grabbed the girl before she could get to her morpher.
Lord Zed then said "now pink ranger, prepare to get tortured in the worst way possible."
Kimberly just shrugged her shoulders and said "meh."
The group then teleported to Zed's lair to begin the torture.
…
Zed brought the pink ranger to his operating table and strapped her down. He then went over to one of his putty soldiers and said "bring me my tools."
The putty did as he was instructed and brought the torture tools to the conqueror.
As the putty did this, he said "my lord, I have a question. What do you need these tools for anyways?"
Lord Zed laughed evily and replied "why, to kill the pink ranger slowly and painfully of course."
The putty soldier then asked "but didn't we already kill Kimberly in the last story?"
Zed just fell silent at that statement. A tumbleweed rolled by as this awkward moment seemed to last for eternity.
Zed then said "soldier, go sit in the corner."
The putty sighed and said "yes sir" before doing as he was told and sat in the corner.
Zed then strolled over and said "ready for your excruciating torture pink ranger?"
Kimberly just said "whatever."
Zed brought over his tools and unveiled his collection to the perky girl.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed the pink ranger.
"What's so funny" asked Zed.
"I didn't know you lived in the 1400s. Where did you get those ancient relics from, Walmart?" asked Kimberly.
Zed picked up a knife made from animal bones and said "you won't be laughing once I begin slicing your skin off."
Kimberly replied "ok, if that'll make you happy."
Zed began approaching the girl, thinking how great it would feel to cut into her flesh and bathe in her blood. He could already imagine the screams and they made him giggle like a school girl.
This fantasy then ceased because his blade broke as soon as it touched her hand.
"What the fuck" said Zed.
"That never would've happened to the Lost Galaxy Rangers. Their Quasar Sabers are guaranteed to cut through almost anything" said Kimberly
Zed just sadly placed his broken knife back into the tool kit and asked his putties to put them away.
Zed then perked up and said "putties, bring in the grill!"
The putties did as Zed said and brought in a car battery.
Zed ripped off Kimberly's clothes and clamped jump starter cables to her nipples and vagina before asking "ready for a slow and painful death, pink ranger?"
Kimberly said "meh, this is kind of lame"
Zed got genuinely offended by that statement before asking "what's wrong with it?"
"Where's your gas mask?"
"My what" asked Zed.
"When you electrocute me, smoke and soot starts to come out, which can lead to harsh breathing problems in the future. Do you really want to see me cooking and also have the risk of getting lung cancer too?"
Zed just sighed as he reluctantly took the electrical socket off of Kimberly's pussy. The putties then took the car battery away.
Zed then said "putties, bring in my battle axe!"
The putties did as their ruler asked and brought the villain the weapon he requested.
"Let's see how much you're laughing when I chop you up, little by little, starting with your toe!"
As Zed lifted his axe up, Kimberly just yawned.
Hurt by that, Zed asked "what is it now?"
"That axe is too clean and sharp" said Kimberly.
Zed said "naturally, we here at the villain HQ like to take care of our weapons, unlike you pathetic rangers."
Kimberly just said "well that's great and all, but the point is to torture me right? So wouldn't it make more sense to use a dull weapon so that I'd feel more pain instead of less? We're not in the Middle East you know."
Zed just sadly put away his axe as he said "pink ranger, I already don't like you but why do you have to be so mean and judgmental?"
"You're the one who's going to torture me" said Kimberly.
Zed just stood there, silently, as Kimberly said "ok, I'll tell you what. Next weapon you bring out, I promise I won't say anything."
Zed said "really?"
Kimberly nodded and said "I promise."
Zed cheered as he brought out his next weapon.
Zed then held up a chainsaw and said "now, would you just take a look at this baby."
Kimberly said "hey that's pretty cool!"
Zed said "I know right?"
Kimberly then added on "Kamen Rider Buffa has a chainsaw that doubles as a monster slaying sword though."
Zed screamed in rage as he threw his chainsaw to the ground.
"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!"
Lord Zed was about to strangle Kimberly, when suddenly, Zed slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel and fell on his back.
The chainsaw flew through the air and landed directly on Zed's face, shredding the evil ruler's skin off almost immediately.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAGH" yelled Zed in pain.
Kimberly then managed to unshackle herself and began running out of the room while saying "don't worry, I'll be back with help."
Kimberly then followed up that sentence with "JK, LMAO, ROFL" before opening the exit door and shutting it behind her.
Zed's face still had tons of blood spraying out of it.
…
Kimberly ran through the forest, still naked because this isn't a TV-Y fic you tards.
As Kimberly continued running, she got hungry and decided to stop at Taco Bell to get some Mexican food, because after causing a guy to chainsaw himself, she deserved a taco.
Kimberly walked through the doors and said "I'd like one taco please."
The cashier just gave Kimberly a blank stare before handing her a taco. The pink ranger then picked a table to sit down at and happily began eating.
This taco was the taco to end all tacos. Everything on it was perfectly cooked, from the crispy shell, to the juicy meat, to the scrumptious black beans. It all fused together to create a delightful experience.
As Kimberly ate her taco, she felt her stomach begin to rumble. The pink ranger immediately got up and ran for the bathroom.
The cashier didn't even blink as Kimberly ran into the bathroom and shut the door.
…
As Kimberly ran into one of the stalls, she noticed that in one of the other stalls, a boy named Dipper Pines had shat himself and was now currently masturbating in his scat.
Kimberly walked over to the boy and asked "hey, are you jerking off into your own poo?"
Dipper just said "yeah, now shut up so I can finish."
Kimberly just said "you know what's better than masturbation?"
Dipper didn't answer as he was still trying to jerk off.
"A good education" said Kimberly before reaching into her ass and pulling out a Leapster. She then handed the game system to Dipper.
Dipper's eyes went wide as he took the game from Kimberly. "I can solve math problems as Batman? This is so much cooler than jerking off."
Dipper proceeded to play the game system with such ferocity while Kimberly took a dump in the toilet and left.
…
As Kimberly left the stall, she saw a pissed off Lord Zed standing there, fuming while the chainsaw was still lodged in his skull.
"YOU! I've been meaning to pay you back for what you did to me!" said Zed
Kimberly then looked behind her, then to her left and then her right before asking "who are you talking to?"
"I'M TALKING TO YOU DUMBASS!" yelled Lord Zed
Kimberly then said "heh, well you wanna fight me? Then just try it."
Lord Zed raised up his staff and fired a beam of red energy at the pink ranger. As Kimberly dove out of the way, an explosion went off, sending shards of debris everywhere.
Lord Zed laughed as he fired more and more beams of energy at the pink ranger, destroying more and more of the Taco Bell.
"Just give up Pink Ranger, you can't escape me. I'm stronger, smarter, and more powerful then you'll ever hope to be."
As Kimberly jumped out of the way of another beam, she said "that may be true, but I've got one thing that you don't!"
Zed asked "really, and what is that?"
"A paper plate" exclaimed Kimberly as she reached into her ass and pulled out a paper plate. She then tossed the temporary dish at the evil ruler, booping Zed on the nose.
Zed stood there, stunned for a second before saying "what exactly was that supposed to do?"
Kimberly just shrugged her shoulders and said "I dunno, I couldn't think of anything else."
Lord Zed laughed and said "well that move is going to be your last. Prepare to be annihilated."
Suddenly the doors to the bathroom burst open and Dipper exclaimed "NOT TODAY" before zapping Zed with a green laser from his mind.
Zed went flying back as Kimberly asked "holy hell, how did you get so powerful?"
Dipper just said "playing the Leapster has given me an I.Q of 7000+"
After Dipper finished that sentence, Zed replied "well it's too bad that won't help you now."
Dipper then said "you don't know the godlike power that a Leapster holds, my friend."
As Dipper said this, he lifted up the Leapster that Kimberly gave him and threw it at Zed.
Zed just said "HA! What do you think that will-"
Zed fell over dead after the Leapster bonked the chainsaw, thus piercing Zed's brain and killing the conqueror instantly.
Kimberly and Dipper both stared at Zed's dead body before Kimberly asked "sooooooo, what now?"
Dipper didn't get a chance to answer. Kimberly just ripped off Dipper's clothes and sat directly on his erect cock.
The two terrible fanfic protagonists then fucked all night long, and you gave me your credit card number as a reward for giving you this fanfiction.