Tw: vomiting, eating disorder, fatphobia.

When Rain reached the bathroom door, they realized something was wrong. They heard guttural sounds, coughing and sobbing as if someone was sick. They hastily knocked on the bathroom door and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"King? King, is that you? Are you okay?"

In response, the person in the bathroom coughed louder before turning on the faucet. The sound of running water was heard for a few seconds before a faint voice answered Rain.

"I'm fine. Sorry, I'm leaving the bathroom now. Just a moment."

"Don't worry about it! I heard you throwing up! Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yes." The sound of water hitting King's face interrupted the conversation for a moment. "I probably ate something bad, or maybe I ate too much."

"Maybe you ate too fast? I've seen you eat a lot in less than a minute. Sorry, I know it's none of my business, but I'm just worried."

"Maybe. And it's okay." King opened the door hesitantly. "Thanks, Rain." The boy's face was streaked with tears. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were puffy and watery, although it was clear that he had tried to hide his pitiful appearance with ice water on his face.

"Sorry. I think it smells a little bit in here."

"Oh... King..." Rain stared at him with a doubtful and worried expression. "Come with me." She gently took King's hand and led him down the long corridors of this apartment until he reached the stairs that led to the roof. King allowed himself to be led, too tired and too shaken to argue. They climbed the stairs slowly until they reached the roof, where their ship rested beside the trapdoor.

The cool night air also brought the noise of the city back to their ears. Rain sat on the edge of the roof and patted a place next to them, inviting King to sit beside them. The little boy timidly obeyed, holding his hands in his lap and staring at the lights flickering on the horizon like fireflies carried by the wind.

"So, King, what's going on?"

"Huh? In what sense?"

"In the sense that I think something bad is going on in your head. I've seen a similar situation with my sister Jenny." Rain gently placed a hand on King's shoulder, who flinched slightly at the touch. "That look you just had - that look of shame and despair - I haven't seen it since Jenny slowly let herself die."

"What do you mean? What happened to your sister?"

"Fortunately, nothing irreparable. She was helped in time because she was the top model for a cosmetics company. It would have been a big financial loss for them to lose her. They sent her to a clinic in San Francisco and she recovered. Now she lives there with her boyfriend and is doing better, but she has to be careful not to fall back into the spiral." She adjusted her glasses a little.

"I'm not going to let myself die."

"Really? King, please answer me truthfully. Sorry for the question but... What does food mean to you?"

King was silent for a few minutes before he answered. Rain respected the silence, giving him enough time to gather his thoughts and speak. In the meantime, they let their thoughts and gaze wander around mindlessly.

"It represents... a friend, but at the same time an enemy." Rain's gaze focused back on King as soon as he spoke. "I have always found satisfaction and comfort in it, especially in difficult times. Eating eases my sadness and makes me feel good." He paused and Rain nodded encouragingly with a smile, inviting him to speak more.

"But eating is also a shame. A kind of guilt I have. A measure of my worth. If I eat little, I am a good child; if I eat a lot, my mother is not ashamed of me. She says she hates the fact that I'm fat, that it makes me ugly. But I can't stop eating, I just can't."

"You shouldn't stop eating. It's a basic need."

"I don't know. Sometimes I try to skip as many meals as I can because it gives me a sense of control that I don't usually feel. But then the hunger comes back and I lose control. I eat way too much and then I regret it. I feel stupid, weak, ugly." King played nervously with the edge of his shirt, wrinkling it. He kept his eyes fixed on an undefined point on the horizon with a pained expression.

"Have you ever talked about these things with anyone close to you? Your family, your friends?" Rain's voice was calm and comforting, without judgment. She tried to help him by gently rubbing his back.

King shrugged. "Something like that. But it's difficult." He let out a bitter laugh. "My mother wants me to lose weight no matter what. She's a fitness fanatic, she's a personal trainer at a gym. She always tells me that she doesn't understand how I can be so fat and be her son. My father has a heart problem, so I try not to worry him with my own problems." King let out a sigh. "My friends usually don't take me very seriously. Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that they think I'm a bit stupid. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest in the group, maybe it's because my appearance isn't the best. I don't know. But when I try to talk to them about these things, they seem embarrassed or annoyed, like I'm just trying to get attention. So I simply shut up."

"How long has that been going on?"

"Since forever. I remember once, when I was 5 years old, I was at the beach with my parents. My mom insisted that I take off my shirt, and my dad said I had nothing to be ashamed of. My mom, however, never stopped making comments about my body." He sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "And not even dieting helped me. Two years ago, my mother made me go on a diet. Eating became an embarrassment. Whether I ate a little or a lot, good or bad, I felt like it was never right. Plus, my friends would try to get me to eat some things anyway, telling me not to give a damn. It's crazy how everyone judges you by how fat you are, but they want to see you eat without giving up anything. I hated this diet: it felt like I had two voices in my head all the time. One was telling me to gorge myself to feel better, and the other was telling me not to eat at all. But it was as if both voices were evil, as if neither of them wanted my good."

"I see... What do you feel now?"

"I feel..." King took a shaky, deep breath. "Angry. So angry. At my mother for never being happy for me. At my father for being too weak around my mother, for never having the courage to defend me. At my friends for never seeing me as more than a clown. At myself, for everything." He turned away from Rain to hide his face. "And I am sad. So sad. So empty. I try to fill the emptiness inside me with food, but it's never enough." The boy clenched his fists as tears began to run down his cheeks. "It's never enough. I want to lose weight, but at the same time, fat protects me. I feel it as a comforting barrier between me and people's eyes. But it also makes me feel vulnerable and suffocated. Like when people look at me, all they see is my body. My relationship with food is a constant balance of obsession and hatred. "A great sob escaped him, and he covered his face with shaking hands. "I can't take it anymore." His chin trembled as he chewed on his lower lip, desperately trying to contain all the pain inside of him that was threatening to explode.

"I can't take it anymore." He repeated, whimpering "I can't take it anymore."

Rain let King monologue for a while, wanting him to feel heard and express everything he needed to. But at the last statement, she grabbed King's shoulder in a shaky grip. "King, please don't say that. Please. Please help me understand better. Was Tricky not worried when she told me that you went to the bathroom because you have been doing that for a long time?"

"Yes. I don't want them to know right now. I would appreciate it if you would keep this conversation private." He swiped at his eyes but the tears came any way, welled from deep inside and coursed down his cheeks.

"Of course." Rain smiled gently and placed a hand on her chest. "I promise."

"Thank you."

"Come here." Rain gently took King in a hug. The boy leaned into the hug and let out a pained sob. "Thank you for listening."

"Thank you for trusting me." Rain gave him a sad smile. "Unfortunately, I don't think I can help you. You need a person to guide you in changing your relationship with food. Food should be neither a friend nor an enemy, but I understand that it's not that easy. I know that those voices become deafening next to a plate full of food. But you can do it. I believe in you."

King said nothing. He just let out all his desperation, not caring about his embarrassment or his fear of being perceived as too dramatic. He felt strangely safe around Rain, almost as if he had a positive, comforting energy around him. Rain respected his pain by letting him cry without saying anything and simply caressing the kid's hair.

After a while, King seemed to calm down. He sniffed and wiped the tears and snot from his runny nose. "Heh... hey, can we... maybe talk about something else now?" He gave Rain a shy smile. "I feel a little awkward now, after I shared my whole life drama with you."

"No worries." Rain laughed and shook her head. "It's all good. But hey, now I am one hundred percent sure that you are from the past."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. I mean, I knew that Frank had a mission in the past. But I wasn't sure if you came here because of him. Now I'm sure. You mentioned going to the beach with your parents. Nobody has done that here for at least 200 years. The sea has become too poisonous for us. No one has been allowed to swim in the sea for ages."

"What? That sucks!"

"I know. But hey, what do you think about this..." Rain waved her hand around, almost as if she wanted to show King the world in front of them. "You know, this modern age?"

"Do you want the honest answer or the one you want to hear?"

"The honest one."

"I don't like it. It's scary, and I hope to get back to my time as soon as I can."

"I don't blame you. This society is fucked. So much violence and injustice and death. But hey, at least we can live much longer than we used to, we can cure basically every disease known to mankind, if the patients have enough money. Taxes are very low and the employment rate is astronomically high. It's perfectly safe for women to go out alone at night and the city is always clean."

"I see. I guess it's much better for some things, but terrible for others. Besides, Rain, can I ask you something?"

"Sure! What is it?"

"Hmm... when you introduced yourself, you said that we can use he/she/they pronouns to talk to you. What does that even mean?"

"Oh! Well, I'm genderqueer. It means I don't follow binary gender norms. It's different for everyone, but for me personally, it means that I don't mind being called by any pronouns."

"Like... you have multiple personalities?"

"Oh no, King." Rain shook her head and laughed loudly. "It just means that I feel like I fit every definition. My gender identity isn't tied to any one category. I wouldn't mind being considered a boy, a girl, or neutral."

"This concept is still hard for me to understand. Sorry."

"It's okay. I don't understand Korean, but I fully respect Koreans. You know? I just want to exist without people deciding for me how I should feel about myself."

"Fair enough. But how do you know that you are genderqueer?"

"How do you know you are a boy?"

"Huh? I just know. I mean, it's just who I am."

"Same for me. To make it easier for you, I feel like my soul is both male and female. I don't just use they/them pronouns because for me personally they don't fully represent how I feel. I feel a strong connection to each gender and also to having no gender at all." They shrugged. "It's just the way it is."

"Got it, sort of. Well. It's interesting how many different people there are, you know? There is always something new."

Rain smiled at King and stood. "Indeed. I mean, genderqueer people have always existed, but probably people tend to forget that because we are a minority." He offered King his hand. "Be careful not to fall off the roof."

King took her hand and slowly stood up. "Can you help me better understand how these things work?"

Rain nodded. "Of course. But only if you promise me that you will do something about that suffering you carry inside. Promise me that you will call me when you feel sad, when those voices get too loud, or when you feel like throwing up." She opened the trap door for King. "I'm not a therapist, but it's better not to be alone in these situations."

King nodded. "I promise. Thanks again, Rain. It's... a nice name, by the way. I love rainy days."

Rain blushed a little and chuckled. "Thank you! I do too! That's why I chose it!"

"You chose it? That's so cool!"

"Yes! Now come on, let's go back inside. Tomorrow we have a big team meeting to discuss our next steps, we both need to be well rested."