A/N: Hah... I got stuck at this point for the longest of times orz
Keiwa continued walking idly towards the bus stop as he tried to sort out his thoughts. He thought back about the conversation he had earlier with Ace. For some reason, Ace was still at home since he didn't have too many jobs scheduled today. Guess it was the perk of being a superstar model... though from what he managed to find out prior, it was only recently that Ace had returned to the industry after a period of inactivity. Which happened to be around the same time he had woken up from a seemingly long sleep and a year's worth of memory loss.
Had something bad happened to him and Ace in the past?
.
"Ace... can I live here with you?"
Keiwa felt his cheeks grow warm again as he recalled his earlier brazen request. What was he thinking earlier? Just because the two of them had spent the night together last night—very intimately even—to just suddenly ask to move in and live together, wasn't that a bit too fast?
But he did try to reason himself out, that it wasn't just because he wanted to always be with Ace. It's because of the missing gap in his memories. He thought that perhaps by staying with Ace and spending more time with him, he might be able to recover all of his missing memories... and remember everyone again. Because he thought that if he could recover his memories about everything that happened during those missing periods of his life, everyone could be happy. Everyone—Sara, Michinaga, Neon, Tsumuri, Daichi, Win and even Ace—had always looked at him with sad eyes after all. So he thought that perhaps he could do something to make everyone happy... and not instead make them worried about him.
Yet...
Did he say something wrong? As soon as he explained his reasoning to live with Ace, Ace immediately changed his friendly demeanour towards him and acted coldly to him saying that he no longer wanted to see him again.
Didn't Ace love him though? Last night... when Ace had kissed him and touched him intimately, he could feel it. That person still loved him so much, even when Keiwa no longer had any memories of that person besides the intense feelings he had for that person inside his heart.
Yet why did Ace say that he didn't want to see him anymore?
.
"̷̡͕̦͂̈́̓̎͜͝—̴̬̻̘͙̽͆̒̈́̃͋̃͗I̴͕̜̮̠̫̠̬̩̓̂̅͠͝'̸̗̟̱̳̱͔̍̓̕͘͜͠m̸̢͚͍̣̣̼͙̑̎̒̈̿͂̀̃ ̵̢̡͙̼͇̻̋́̒͝g̵͉̲̖̽͂̈́̆͜e̶̛̬̠̤̠͖͛͛͌͛̐͘ẗ̷́̅͛̄̅͜t̴̛̖̝̺̙̒͗̄̒ͅḯ̵̧͎̠͈̼͇̺̬͑̄̿n̵͇͔̫̰̟͈̽̇̾g̴̢̩̿̄͠͝ ̶̺͓̈́t̵̰̙̺̗̖̅̇̑̌͒h̸̼̩͉̟̖̄̑͘ͅe̸̞͔͆̆̊͋̀̊́ ̸̧̥͇͎̂̃ͅv̴̬͝ì̶̢̛̗̫̻̏̐̑b̴̛̛͖̲͎͋̈̌̔͜ȩ̶̨͎͍̺̳̥̯̀͊̚͝ ̸̧̗̻̯̦͆̑͗̾̑̄̍o̴̦̬̲͉̣͊̆̂̑́f̴̩͍̞͍̊̋̀ ̸͙̟͖͈͇̘̇͝a̴͇̦̔̔̍̏̈́͂̈́ ̷͍̻̝̤̄̓̀̑r̸͔̠̣̲̦̫̬̪͋̏͋̕͝͝e̸̗͓̫̭̾͊͝a̵̙̻̟̍̓͋̆̕l̸̡̞̱͈̇ͅ ̷̰̱͈̲̀̾̅̚K̵̠̭͖̪͙̘̆̀̃͗à̴̛͕͒̓̃ṃ̴̡́̾̆ë̶̌ͅn̷̛̥̲͉̞̩̪̔̐̂͠ ̷̹̺͕̤̟̳̄ͅR̴̗͔̲͚͉͉̹̀̕ȉ̸̫̙͑͆͂͝ḑ̵̢͇̬̯͓̈̍̽̚͠ẻ̴͎̘̍̐̏̆̀̊̅r̴̘̳̜͖̥̟̜̅̇̾͝ ̵̛͙̹̳̿͒̓͠ͅf̶̰͎̯̙͓͍̜͒͑̽r̷̥̹̐́̌͘o̸̞̊͐͑̓͗̾́m̷͈͙̠̺̬̱̈́͌̊͌ ̵̤̙̫̓̊̀̄y̴̢͚̤̘̬̏o̵̥̼̝͙̬͎͌̊̈̈́͜u̴̥̳͉̞͈͎͚̰̇͌̂͗͠.̶̢̢̦̟͓̺͂͗͋͒̔̽̈́̕͜.̶̻͇̖̋͋͛̀̌̀̄͜͝.̷̘̪̖͇͔͖͆͊̐̐̉͒̅ͅ
.
Before he realised it, Keiwa found himself pausing in the middle of the pathway. What was that?
Just now... he thought he heard a voice inside his head. Yet when he tried to recall the voice again, it felt as if he was trying to grasp a hint of a breeze in the air. It was the same sensation as what happened yesterday. When he was surrounded by so many people the day before, it felt as if there was something, flashes of images, sceneries, voices—basically flashes of memories—had suddenly rushed out to greet him from some shadowy place. Yet for some strange reason, he could not recall any details from that sudden barrage of information that hit him without warning.
It was so bad that he ended up passing out yesterday.
Keiwa sighed. Ace must have seen him passing out yesterday... and brought him to their home. And as much as he didn't plan to end up in bed with Ace last night, well, things just happened. But after the fight that the two of them had earlier... would Ace even want to see him again?
.
That said, did something happen last night?
Keiwa barely remembered anything aside from the lovemaking they had last night... but he thought he remembered having woken up sometime afterwards. Ace was caressing his body gently—and Keiwa thought he heard Ace singing a lullaby to him to help him sleep; though he didn't understand why Ace would do that unless he was having trouble getting to sleep—Did he have a nightmare last night?
...but he couldn't recall anything.
But him getting a nightmare last night—if he really did get it—shouldn't have anything to do with Ace not wanting to see him anymore, right? It shouldn't be... right?
.
"̵̼̲̞̲̱̜͆͗̊̽͊I̶̙͍̖̰̩͕̭̙͑́ͅt̶͙̞̬͔̭͇̞́͊̒͜'̶͓̀̍̉̅͌s̷͎̱̼̈́͗̓̉͠ ̴̼̟͙̜̼͈͑̀͛̀̅͆̕͝a̷̤̔̋̃͒l̴̼̘͈͙̟͙͉̻̿̉l̷̳̭̎̉͛̏͆͝͝ ̴̡͇̺̻̤̖̂̃͗̓͑͠Ģ̵̟̉́̾̔̍͒͋̈͝e̵̱͕̒̐̾͋͛ͅḁ̴͋t̶͚́̓͘̚͠s̸̛̥̹̻̩̘͗͆̑̀'̷̡̛͚̙̩̺̹̪̯̙͌͛̉ ̸̙̹̯̪͙̅̾͊͗̀̉̆̏͘f̵̛͉̻̯̰̍̈́̂̇̒̊͘͘͜a̵̪͍̬͛̒͗͆͂̑u̶̫͉͉͇͍͓͛̏ͅl̷͉̃̿̀́̕̕͘͘͝t̸̢̼̼̱̝͈͕̱̹͊̎̄̚.̵̝̯̦̥̫̰̗̮̭̈́͋̋̄̓̿̌.̴̥͕̬̳͕̣͖̣͆̈́̒͐.̴̧̻͓̘͇̟̮̎͆"̴͓͙̼̟̥͝
.
Keiwa felt his body tensing up again—and this time, Keiwa could really feel the intense fear coursing through his body like some old injury that started to rise back up into the open. What was that? Did something really bad truly happen to him in the past? Was that why everyone seemed to be so reluctant to tell him anything about it? But since all of them were still around right now and seemed to be living fine... shouldn't that mean that whatever terrible things that happened before were now long passed?
Shouldn't it be fine now... even if he wanted to reclaim those bad memories alongside the rest of his missing memories?
Keiwa bit his lips.
Regardless, he still couldn't brush away the wave of fear that had now settled deeply in the pit of his stomach. If possible, he wanted to run back towards Ace's house and clung to the man's body so that he could feel safe again.
But can he go back to Ace now?
Would Ace still want him back after all those things that man had said to him earlier?
All Keiwa wanted was to be with Ace... but will Ace let him do that now?
He really wished that Ace could accept him back...
A/N2: Ahahaha... no, I haven't forgotten about this angsty fic wwww