Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball.
Betaed by: Zim'smostloyalservant and a friend.
Chapter 3
Two children sat atop a golden cloud, flying over the pristine mountains. Goku sat in front, smiling with the familiar thrill of flight, while Chichi sat behind him in her damaged but still serviceable fuku, with a large backpack on. Before parting ways from Bulma, Yamcha, and Puar, she had claimed a share of the supplies from her father's wrecked car, including the clothes she had bought with Bulma. Bulma, for her part, had promised to stop by Frypan Kingdom to tell Chichi's father what she was up to.
Now they were making a stop at Goku's house, before seeking out the island of the Muten Roshi.
"Mount Paozu seems much smaller from up here," Goku said in awe as they spotted a particular mountain in this land far removed from civilization's encroachment.
"Very pretty, though," Chichi said.
"Yeah it is. It's good to be back. Hey, there it is!" Goku said, pointing. Before Chichi could follow his gesture, the Nimbus changed direction, quickly descending and promoting her to grab onto his shoulders.
Stopping the cloud as it nearly touched the ground, Goku hopped off and rushed into the hut. Chichi hopped off and put her backpack down, taking in the woodlands around her.
"Yes, this could do nicely. Cut back the trees, build a bigger house…" she mused. Goku emerged from the hut, carrying a rolled-up futon.
"Okay, we can go now," Goku said.
"What? Don't be silly, Goku. We can't just leave like that."
"We can't?"
"No, who knows how long it will be until you get back here? We need to clean the house inside and out, do any repairs needed since they'd only get worse in the meantime, and cut back encroaching brush," Chichi said, grabbing Goku's hand and guiding him back into the hut.
"It looks okay to me, Chichi."
"Oh Goku, this is why men need wives," she giggled.
XXX
Master Roshi took a long pull from his can of beer to grab an extra moment to gather his thoughts.
"So, did you have a tail before, kid? Because I don't recall that tidbit, and that's mildly concerning at my age," the ancient martial arts master said. He was seated on his own doorstep, Goku and Chichi on the small lawn of his tiny island, their luggage set aside.
The old master had forgone his more formal clothes for a touristy shirt he considered ideal for a lazy day. That busybody Turtle was gone on vacation, and that meant he could slack a bit more on living up to his image. Or it had, until these kids dropped out of the sky on his old cloud. He supposed he should be glad they hadn't shown up sooner, while he was taking in his passion for exercise; Goku was enough of a bonehead he'd likely get away with it, but the girl struck him as the type to be dull until it was most problematic for her to be sharp.
He'd have to be on his toes to enjoy himself with her underfoot. Assuming this became a thing, after all.
"Well, listen you two, despite your lineages as legacies of the Kame School, you can't just get in for asking."
"Huh? But you invited us," Goku pointed out.
"Never mind that, what I am willing to give you is a test. It's fairly practical too – if you want me to spend time training you to the standards of the Legendary Kame School, you must provide the Kame-senin something in exchange."
"Money?"
"No, though it couldn't hurt… Ahem, that is, you must find me a hooooo, a woman. Yes, a woman for the house," Roshi corrected himself mid-sentence.
"Another student?" Goku asked.
"Are you asking us to matchmake?" Chichi squeaked, blushing.
"No to both. Listen, if you want the best from my training, I'll need someone to handle the cooking, cleaning, and all that. I'm not your parent, I'm your teacher, or I will be if you can pass this test."
"…What kind of woman?" Chichi asked, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Ohh you know, one with lots of, ummm, spunk. A real can-doster. Nice and trim, ready to go. Maybe with, a lot up top?" Roshi finished, choosing his words carefully.
'This would be much easier without this Chichi girl. I've never had a rule against female students, but maybe this is why I never tried for one.'
Well, soon enough, the two were off, and Roshi decided to err on the side of optimism. After all, hadn't he gotten luckier than he'd ever dreamed with that Bulma girl? First a full-frontal assault from below, then an unsolicited huffpuff?
Yes, these were not times to timidly lurk in skepticism, this age called for men of culture to face forward boldly, wearing their best shell, a well-selected suit, and a well-chilled bottle of gas station wine!
Then the dunderhead duo showed up with an iron-haired schoolmarm with a bun the size of her head holding her hair, and dressed like a generation's nightmares of overdue homework.
"What was this I hear about a tutoring program?" she said, whacking a pointer stick thing into her palm, raising an eyebrow behind her arching glasses.
"See, Turtle Guy, lots of stuff up top and she's full of energy; you should have heard how loud she was when we didn't wipe our feet before stepping on her lawn," Goku said.
"She knows about teaching, too," Chichi pipped in.
'Well, guess that hot streak is dead. Rest in peace. How do I get out of this?'
One Round of Quick Talking Later:
As Chichi used the little fighters' room, Roshi parked Goku on a chair in the breakfast nook.
"Goku, I'm alarmed at your judgement in women. We're going to do a quick test."
Roshi held up a pair of photos, one of the latest Miss September, and the other a photo of the assistant clerk of the province's treasury.
"Which of these is the hottie?" Roshi asked.
"…This is tough."
"…You shame your grandfather's name, boy. Okay, time to drop the subtlety. Pass it on yer own, and I'll let both of you in my training. This! A girl like this. Not this! But this. This. This! Got it?"
"I don't understand, but if that's what you want-" Goku answered.
"It is! Now get going, I heard a flush, we only have fifteen minutes before Chichi's on the loose again."
As Goku left, Roshi wiped a bit of sweat off his brow.
"Roshi, you might be digging yourself in deeper here. Oh well, nothing is ever gained without risk. Surely, he can't be any less competent on his own without that girl watching him… Can he?"
Roshi decided to hide behind the house, just in case.
XXX
"Turtle Guy? Master Roshi?!" Goku called. Roshi heard him of course, but he was wary of getting into sight until he could confirm what type of woman Goku had found this time.
"Hi Goku! Hey, you went off without me?" Chichi said.
"Master Turtle Guy said I should. This is Piepie," Goku said.
"Hi, I'm Chichi," the girl greeted.
"Hello, nice to meet you. Isn't it adorable how our names match?" the new girl said.
'That's a cute voice. Cute is a short step from sexy and mature. But the voice can be misleadin,g Roshi, remember the incident at the bowling alley…' Roshi pondered his next move.
"So, this Roshi is looking to hire someone?" Piepie asked.
"I'm not sure if it a real job, but you can ask him yourself, he's behind the house," Chichi said.
'Blasted girl! Well, no point drawing it out, be bold and brash, Roshi!' the old man pumped himself up before boldly stepping around the house.
"Oh! Goku's back, is heeee..." Roshi slurred a bit in his confident walk, catching sight of the girl seated on his old Nimbus. She was wearing a tight dark t-shirt with her name on it, with long plum-colored hair and a face that wouldn't be out of place on the cover of a fine magazine.
And that figure! Oh, even sitting still he could imagine the bounce!
"Are you alright sir, have you been in the sun too long?" The young vision of beauty said, shifting on the golden cloud to lean over and put a hand on his forehead.
"Eek! That can't be good!" she swallowed as blood erupted from his nose to stain his suit.
"Oh, that's just a preexisting condition! Pay it no mind!" Roshi pleaded, pulling out a handkerchief.
'Dang it, Roshi! There has never been a time in history where getting blood on a woman is a good way to start a pick up!' he furiously chastised himself.
"Are you sure you've had that looked at?" she asked. And in doing so shifted enough to reveal her lower body. A green fishy body.
Roshi collapsed to the beach sand, making the girl gasp.
'A mermaid!? What the heck am I supposed to do with a mermaid!? Young men fantasize about this because they're so focused on fishing they don't think nearly enough about what comes after. But let's be honest here, Roshi, your batting average is nothing to write home about. I mean when, ever, has there been any action down under? True, the lack of rear cushion is regrettable, but your interest has always been frontal in nature, first and foremost. Right, a real mam doesn't throw away a good thing just because it's not perfect. He appreciates what's right while accepting the drawbacks. So, time to get her interested in working here with a bit of suave gentlemanly behavior…' Roshi told himself, getting to his feet.
Two Minutes Later:
POW
"Of all the nerve!" Piepie huffed, hopping across the beach, leaving Roshi bleeding from the nose again and his glasses askew.
"Have a good day, Goku. Be mindful of the company you keep," the mermaid huffed, before hopping high and turning it into a dive back into the water.
"Oh, so you want girl who can punch," Goku said.
"Give me a minute, boy, I need to reflect on my technique a bit."
XXX
Roshi fixed his glasses with practiced ease as Chichi came out of Kame House. This whole thing was feeling less like a good idea, but darn it, ever since Goku had performed a pale imitation of the Kamehameha, the old itch was back.
Truth was, Roshi wasn't that concerned about a legacy at this point in his life. His own legend aside, he well knew chains were made to break in the course of ages, and if the Kame School was not to outlive him, that was fine. A bit sad, but well, such things happened. He'd had a good run of students, with three even able to master the Kamehameha Wave, and far more having bettered themselves by his teachings in other ways. But Goku's raw talent, and that innocent excitement for the path to power… It harkened beyond his role as teacher, back to that long past age when he was a student of Master Mutaito, hopeless in so many ways, unable to imagine the life that laid before him in both tragedy and beauty.
Yes, he wanted to teach again, to be the guide to helping someone achieve a better version of themselves. But he wasn't so noble that he didn't want something a bit more material out of the deal.
Surely a sexy young thing cooking and cleaning for him wasn't asking too much? Well, he hoped for other things, adult things to happen too, of course. But that was like dessert; you could still have a grand and memorable meal without ever touching the dessert menu after all, right?
But between Chichi being a girl and Goku being denser than training tile, he might be trying to stop the tide with a sand wall here.
"Hey, someone's on the water," Goku said.
"Huh, where?" Chichi asked, looking out to sea.
Roshi frowned, peering out too. Kame House wasn't on any major shipping route, boats from the island he used for training didn't pass this way to and from bigger ports, and the fishing wasn't as good as to draw fishermen close. He'd picked this island because it was not typically disturbed.
Yet sure enough, he saw what Goku did, a small boat was approaching. Did it not have a motor? Someone was either training or quite old-fashioned, as he didn't see a sail.
Roshi's eyebrows rose as the figure on the boat leapt over the ocean toward the island, flipping in the air.
"Good jump," Goku said.
"Wow," went Chichi.
'Isn't he about to…?' Roshi thought, before the small figure smacked head first into the ground.
'Yep, he is,' Roshi shook his head. Somewhat impressively, the new arrival wearing a yellow tunic and brown pants reminiscent of a monk was not knocked out, quickly starting to struggle against their sandy confinement. And failing.
"Better help him, Goku," Roshi remarked.
Grabbing the new arrival by the feet, Goku pulled him free like a turnip, and Roshi nodded, seeing it was a young monk. Shaved head, check, and the burn marks of a temple. Though it was odd for someone his age to have so many; either he was quite enlightened, or he came from one of those lax temples.
Considering how he glared at Goku and said he meant to do that while dusting himself off, Roshi was leaning toward lousy temple.
"Greetings, sir. Do I have the honor of addressing the Lord Muten Roshi, the Kame Senin?" the lad asked, ignoring the others to bow at the waist in front of Roshi.
'Well, he's respectful, at least.'
"You do, I am he," Roshi nodded.
"You can check his license if you want to make sure," Chichi chipped in. Roshi sweatdropped, his head hurting at the reminder of his first encounter with the savage little girl.
"I am Krillin. A former student of the Orin Temple, I have journeyed here to study under you, forgoing all the conveniences of modern travel to grow stronger and demonstrate my devotion to the martial arts, oh great master."
'Laying it on a bit thick, kid,' Roshi thought.
"Where's Orin Temple?" Chichi asked.
"Far enough to the east to make it a noteworthy journey for someone of his level. Though last I heard, the Orin Temple was in decline; I wouldn't be shocked if by now it was little more than a thug dojo with a theology class and a dress code."
"Which is why I seek to study at the foot of the great master," Krillin said, still smiling.
"Well, you've traveled a long way for nothing, m'boy. I already have two prospective students here," Roshi said. It had been a while, but he was no stranger to turning away would-be students.
"Well, at least accept these tokens of my deep admiration for one of the best of the best," Krillin said. He pulled off his pack and made to dump it on the beach, only to glance at Chichi, who was watching the encounter curiously.
Krillin sidled over to Roshi and opened the pack for him to look inside. Roshi could swear he felt his eyes touch the lenses of his shades. Magazines, glorious magazines! He knew some of the brands, but some were new, and alluring in that newness.
"Hm hm! I see, well," Roshi reached in with one hand and with skill sharpened by centuries of covert perverted reading, turned a few pages to make sure.
'Oh yeah, this is the good stuff. Kid knows how to pick a 'zine.'
"So, my offering is to the master's liking then?" Krillin said, backing off and leaving Roshi to his limited but enjoyable viewing.
Roshi half-listened to him sassing Goku and Chichi subtlety; this was the best thing to happen to him since the huffpuff. But two comments cut through the pleasurable haze.
"First of all, Krillin, I am naturally bald. If I had thick hair like Goku's, you bet I'd be rocking it. In fact, my own master had thick hair 'til his untimely demise. And there ain't no rule about girls in the Kame School. Never has been. Though come to think of it, I suppose it is odd I've never had a girl study under me? For some reason they leave pretty quickly, the ones that do show up. Anyway, Krillin, get over here," Roshi said, putting the pack, closed again, on his lawn chair.
"You have shown good taste in your gifts, but a gift doesn't necessarily reflect one's own character. So, if you would describe what, to you, makes a… hottie," Roshi said, the last word in a whisper. To his credit, Krillin caught on and leaned in, letting Roshi bend down so the young monk could whisper in his ear.
"Naturally. Essential. Ohh, that's good. Yes, yes. Oh my, now that is interesting. Enough! Ahem, well, I am pleased to see the new generation is not lost to good taste. But there's still the matter of the test. Goku and Chichi have not gotten adequate results. So, Krillin, you and Goku will team up."
"Instead of getting a girl, why don't I do the cooking and cleaning?" Chichi asked, as the boys sped off on the Nimbus.
"Did you come here to learn how to do martial arts or keep house?" Roshi asked.
"Well, I'm going to be Goku's wife, so I need to be a good wife. And really, what would people say about a wife who could take out her husband's enemies in one mighty blow?" Chichi thought aloud.
"That she's a badass?" Roshi guessed. If the girl heard him, she showed no signs, declaring she would set lunch for five, as Goku would surely succeed this time.
Roshi hardly thought that, but that Krillin boy had promise in girls, if nothing else. In the meantime, he'd take in a little PG TV.
XXX
If one word could sum up Brown County, it was "dry". Not parched to the point of a proper desert, but nothing seemed to have quite enough. Whether it was the terrain always at least slightly wilted, the buildings and roads a bit run down, to the people with their surly attitudes of varying degrees and the local government being corrupt enough to be problem but not enough that anyone seemed to care do anything about it.
Still, some would say the scenery had a desolate majesty to it. Locals would either call it home, or ugly.
They certainly wouldn't call it peaceful.
Case in point, the lonely canyon was treated to the roar of an engine. The vehicle that popped up was a one-wheeled ATV grabbing sky; its blonde driver didn't flinch, instead adjusting the stance of the vehicle, and sure enough as it fell its one thick tire started to spin rapidly and grabbed the sloping wall to speed down into the canyon.
Sirens followed the whizzing roar of the small vehicle, with three police hovercars making the lap down after her. One landed badly, spinning out, but the other two stuck the landing and tore after her.
A PA crackled to life.
"Give it up, Launch! You can't get away this time, and you're going to the provincial pen."
"Squealing pigs are so annoying," the woman scowled, eyes covered by goggles. She revved back on the handles slowing slightly. Grinning, she pulled out an Uzi.
"So eat up this to shut yer mouths!" she cackled, shooting wildly behind her. Bullets riddled one of the cars, which swerved, but even as the clip clicked empty the car straightened up.
Launch tossed the gun away with a curse and revved up the engine, zipping ahead again. Straight toward a wall as the canyon curved.
"You can't clear the canyon with that! Just surrender, you crazy!"
"Don't tell me what to do!" she said, pulling back hard on the handle, her back almost touching the ground as the vehicle moved with her. And sure enough, she went up the canyon, swerving wildly but ascending.
"BRAKE!" the unseen policeman screamed. The car slammed into the wall, the front crumpling at the impact. The last one turned in time, careening down the canyon.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Launch cackled, descending at an angle but still hitting the floor clean on her one tire, ahead of the last car.
"Alright little pig, you want to mess with big bad Launch? We'll just go three for three," she grinned, reaching into the pouch on her belt. Then an errant gust of wind blew some of her hair into her face, tickling her nose.
"Oh crap, not nnnn nnnnn! ACHOO!" she sneezed. In a snap, her hair turned blue and a new poofiness seemed to inflate it slightly.
"Wah? WAAAHHH!" she screamed, losing control of the strange vehicle and wiping out to roll along the dusty ground.
"Owww! What happened?" the blue-haired woman groaned, rolling up into a sitting position. Pulling away the goggles revealed a pair of big dark blue eyes.
"An ambulance, maybe I should go to a doctor?" she wondered as the police car emerged from the dust.
"Police? Uh-oh," she gulped as the car came to a stop and a fat and a skinny policeman clambered out wearing dust brown uniforms and pointing guns at her. She immediately raised her hands.
"Don't move, Launch! Your bounty's dead or alive, and the chief's had it with your escapes!" skinny said.
"Don't think we won't! I've shot racoons off my own trash cans!" the fat guy said.
"Oh, you're gonna shoot me?! Somebody help!"
"Just cooperate, and don't look like that, I can't stand crying women!"
"Just ignore it, she does this, remember? She pretends to be some weepy girly girl, then strikes back at you like a rattlesnake. I shot a rattlesnake once, I was duck hunting."
"Earl, do all your stories have to involve shooting something? I'm a gun nut too, and even I think – hey, hands up!" The skinny one said, shooting wide as the woman scratched her nose. The shot wasn't anywhere near her, but she screamed regardless.
"Somebody! Help!"
"That's our line lady, look what you did to our buddies!" Earl snapped.
"Hey, you guys think you can get away with picking on girls!?" a boy called out from above. All three looked up, and a kid with shaved head leapt down from on high and lost his trajectory, head burying itself in the sandy soil on impact.
"Huh?" all three went. Then Goku descended next to him on the Nimbus and hopped off just as Krillin pulled himself out, brushing the dust away irritably.
"Hi, I'm Goku. Was that girl who was screaming?" he asked.
A Short Time Later:
Getting up from the rug in front of the TV, Roshi peeked into the kitchen. Chichi was making sandwiches, it seemed. And quite the process, it appeared, considering how she was checking the length of a lettuce leaf with a ruler, face set into a focused frown.
"Even without weird clothes, she's an odd one," Roshi noted.
The old master perked at the sound of voices outside.
'The boys are back, and that…'
He tiptoed through his den to press his shell-covered back against the wall, letting him peek out as a girl lady voice commented on how adorable Kame House was. All good signs, many a green flag being raised. But dare he hope…
One eye passing beyond the frame, he beheld a vision of loveliness set against the majesty of the ocean and the sky of a sunny day. She was young, surely no more than twenty, he'd have to get ID, but anyway! Wavy blue hair, darker than the ocean, with a red ribbon tied into it, ran down her back and formed cute bangs.
Shorts with suspenders over a short-sleeved shirt showed off legs for days, and a figure that was slender and toned. The skin had a healthy glow of outdoor living, without the excesses of sunbathing. And the face. Practically no makeup, not sexy, but a bunny-like innocent cuteness with round expressive dark blue eyes.
"Wahoo! M'boys! You've done it!" Roshi crowed, filling the window and clicking his heels as he hopped off the floor with excitement.
"Huh, they're back already? But I haven't gotten the cheese to mustard ratio right yet!" Chichi called from the kitchen. Roshi ignored the weirdness to rush to the door, opening it to greet the lady properly.
"Hey there! Name's Master Roshi, but you can just call me Roshi. Welcome to my house, and my island," he practically panted, offering the girl a hand.
"Oh, they're both lovely. You have excellent taste. My name is Lunch, by the way," the cute woman said, shaking his hand. There were callouses on it, a working girl clearly despite her age. That was fine; Bulma was an example of pampering gone wrong. Besides, he could absolutely go for some innocent country girl type or so.
"Hello?" Chichi said, stepping out around Roshi with a head of lettuce in hand.
"Oh hello there, my name is Lunch."
"I'm Chichi, I'm making lunch," Chichi said, puffing out her chest in pride.
"Oh, how funny," Lunch giggled, Krillin joining while Roshi smiled at the coincidence.
"What is?" Chichi blinked. Goku also looked confused.
"What fine grandchildren you have, sir, you must be very proud," Lunch said, smiling wide.
"I suppose they are good kids, but they're not my grandkids. They're my little siblings!"
Only Roshi was left on his feet in that group facefault.
"HAHAHA! Just a little joke to break the ice. I'm just the martial arts teacher here."
"Well, this girl might need that, Master Roshi, she was being robbed by guys pretending to be policemen," Krillin said.
"Turtle Guy, does this mean we get the training?" Goku pressed.
"Your joke wasn't funny, Master Roshi," Chichi pouted, dusting off her lettuce.
"Those weren't fake policemen," Lunch said cheerily. Roshi gently took her hand in his hands
"Well, whatever they were, that must have been horrible for such an innocent young girl to experience."
"Well, it's never fun, and a bit scary, but it's happened lots of times before."
"Yeek! No wonder Daddy wanted me to have my own boomerang blade and laser blaster, it's dangerous being a cute girl," Chichi said, hugging her lettuce at this information.
"Yes, the world can be frightening as well as wondrous, but you're in luck Lunch, Master Roshi can teach you how to defend yourself," Roshi nodded.
"Oh thanks, but from what Krillin said, your training sounds very intense," Lunch said, pulling her hand free and waving things off. Frowning a bit, she picked up her bag and opened it up.
"Oh dear," She sighed, before closing the bag again.
"Now, I'm not suggesting you do the hardcore training! This would be a light course by comparison, improve your health, stamina, strength, with some simple but effective self-defense thrown in. You might be surprised how many hoodlums are terrified just by the air of self-confidence this training would give you. Yessiree, most bullies are cowards, and if they sense you can and will push back, they'll keep walking," Roshi assured her.
"Well, I don't have much in the way of honest money…"
"Oh, that won't be problem! Krillin surely told you I was looking for someone to help around the house?"
"Right, you want a maid and cook?"
"I wouldn't say it quite like that. I'm really quite self-sufficient, comes with the hermit lifestyle. But my special training is quite demanding; I couldn't keep up my routines around the house while making sure these youngsters are on the proper path to be all they can be. So, if you pick up the slack for me, I'll happily give you my soft course training, along with room and board for the duration of the training."
"Well, that is quite generous," Lunch said, blinking.
"So, you'll do it? Great! Wait here, we can start right now, I just need to get a thing," Roshi said, running into the house.
"It'll be nice having another girl around for training," Chichi said.
"I hope so. What exactly are you trying to make with that lettuce?" Lunch asked, kneeling down in front of Chichi.
"No meat?" Goku asked. Krillin cleared his throat.
"Pardon me, Miss Lunch, but if those weren't fake policemen, what were they?" he asked.
"Oh, they were real policemen. By the looks of it, I robbed a bank, or maybe a train," Lunch said, opening her bag and showing them the wads of zeni notes inside.
"Eek! A bandit in girl's clothing?" Chichi squawked, reaching for her forehead, only to remember she'd lost her helmet.
"What's the big deal about a bunch of paper?" Goku asked. Krillin blinked, then laughed, smacking Goku on the back.
"Right you are, Goku, that's probably just play money or something. There's no way a cute girl like this could rob banks or stuff."
"Oh dear, you really should believe me, children. If I sneeze-" Lunch said, when Roshi burst from the Kame House, a thin wide box in hand.
"Found it! Slip into these training clothes, Miss Lunch, and we can get started on your first lesson right now."
"Yay, training!" Goku cheered.
"Fine, if you must, but this will barely be a warm-up to what I have in store for you. Now, Miss Lunch, please do slip into this. It's also on the house," Roshi gulped, thrusting the box into the bluenette's hands.
XXX
Lunch frowned, twisting her neck to look at her back as best she could in the bedroom's full-length mirror. It wasn't something weird, like she'd worried. But it was a very form-fitting women's exercise outfit with dark pink for the torso and white sleeves, leaving her legs mostly bare except for her socks and sneakers. It even had matching wristbands.
A bit dated, she thought, and it seemed more like something from one of those videos than from ancient master kung-fu training. Wait, was this kung-fu? There were many different kinds of martial arts, she knew, but she didn't know much more than what a few action movies had taught. And she wasn't a big fan of those movies.
Still, nodding to herself, she put her own clothes in the bag on top of the cash and started to make her way downstairs.
"It would be nice to not have to always rely on Launch for getting out of trouble, and this would be much nicer than pulling guns on people. Would I get all muscly, though? Hmm, I'm not exactly looking for a boyfriend, but I don't like the idea of looking mannish," she muttered to herself, flexing an arm and imagining it bulging with muscle.
"Ah, as I thought, you are a natural," the old master said, making her realize she was stepping out of the cute small house.
"Master Roshi, why do you have that lying round in your house?" Chichi asked, eyes narrowing.
"The Lord Muten Roshi is clearly a man of culture and a gracious host prepared for any guest's needs," Krillin spoke up.
"Quite right lad, now stand right here and we'll start with working on our stance," Roshi said, pointing to a spot on the beach. A gust of wind whipped past the island, and Lunch felt a tickling on her nose and realized some of her hair had come free from behind her ears.
"Oh de- ah ah achoo!" she sneezed.
XXX
'Quite a sneeze for a cute girl," Krillin remarked.
"Bless you," Chichi said to the older woman, who was facing away from them.
"What is this, the ocean? Brown County don't have a coast," the woman spoke in a different accent and notably deeper in pitch. Pivoting a heel, the woman turned to face them, revealing blonde hair that had lost it curly poofiness, and hard green eyes sweeping over them.
"You changed, are you like Oolong and Puar?" Goku asked.
"I thought you needed hair dye to do that?" Chichi said.
"Umm, are you alright, Lunch?" Roshi asked. Years of being struck by women for a wide range of offenses real and assumed had sharpened a certain particular danger sense, and that sense's scale had just jumped from zero to "Look Out!"
"Name's Launch, old man," she said, plucking a capsule out of her bag so quick Roshi knew no ordinary human would have noticed, and released to reveal an Uzi.
"Where am I, and what do ya all want with me?! Answer me!"
"You're at Kame House, for martial arts training," Chichi answered the questions. The blonde almost pulled the trigger on sheer habit, but then Launch frowned, easing the pressure on the trigger just slightly.
"Training?"
"Uh-huh, Turtle Guy sent us out and we found you being attacked by police guys, so Krillin and I brought you back here," Goku said.
"Did ya beat the pigs up?" Launch asked, looking Goku over, and then Krillin.
"I didn't see any pigs, but the police guys weren't tough, it wasn't a good fight at all," Goku complained. Launch grinned and put up the gun to step forward and pat Goku's head.
"Ha! They almost never are. So, what's this then about training? I'm not the type to join no gang, I'm more a solo performer. Well, with my sis, I guess it's a duo, but whatever," Launch said, looking to Roshi.
"…blonde hair and green eyes. I don't suppose you're that Launch the Bandit that shows up in the papers from time to time," he asked.
"The one and only," she said, raising a finger in salute.
"Well, I see…" Roshi muttered.
"He said he was going to give you the light training instead of the hard stuff," Goku said.
"That right? And what kind of fighting happens in one of these dumb gym outfits? Looking for eye candy, gramps?" she asked, lowering the Uzi again.
"Well now, naturally, if you wanted the full training… But then we'd need to rotate the chores?" Roshi said, sweating a bit.
"And how long would this take? And what's it cost?"
"Well, I was thinking eight months so my students could enter the Tenkaichi Budokai to test themselves," Roshi admitted.
"Wow, I've never heard of that," Goku said, making everyone facefault.
"You're training to fight and never head of the Strongest Under the Heavens?" Launch asked, getting up, "Even people who never throw a punch hear about the tournament of tournaments."
"Yeah, Goku, it's a big deal held only every five years."
"My dad used to compete, though he never did win," Chichi reflected.
"Well, anyway, eight months laying low will do, especially if you're footing the bill, gramps. And I don't have a warrant on this island. So, let's do this, but first I'm getting my pants."
With that she went back inside, leaving Roshi flabbergasted.
"Guess it will be the chore wheel, then?"
Author's Note: