a/n: Apologies for the late chapter, to those who still read these. Life got in the way, but I've never stopped writing! I'll be updating slowly only because there are things I'd like to edit/fix before uploading. I hope those who have been waiting like this chapter with a flashback!

Chapter 3: Triage and Apologies

"It was good working with you again, Cass!" Niel and Julie, two paramedics Cass had worked with as an ER nurse, waved as they got in the back of the Ambo. Cass waved back, still slightly numb from all that had occurred as she made her way towards the jeep. The black, red, green, and yellow labels that had slipped off patients, or had been ripped off by them, littered the ground. Her eyes roamed her surroundings as the cleanup crew immediately began to do their thing. They reminded her of worker ants. Quick, efficient, and faceless as they went about clearing the debris and any evidence of the accident. It took her a few moments to realize she had gotten to her car, and had slid into her seat.

Cass stared at her hands as she felt them itch. She gently scrubbed at the bed of her palm with her nails to relieve the symptom she knew was associated with her trauma. She still couldn't believe that what felt like hours had truly been minutes. Forty minutes to be exact. The last of the accident had been finally cleared away and what remained was a few splintered plastic pieces from a few bumpers. In minutes, they too, would be gone and the roads would be completely clean as if it had never happened.

Varian had stood on the sidelines in awe as he watched Cass with the EMT's and Paramedics. He knew she had a medical background, but for some reason- before today, he hadn't been able to picture her as a nurse. Now, he could see exactly how good she had been before leaving medicine to pursue law enforcement.

When he felt enough time had passed for her to calm down from the adrenaline, he headed over to her grey jeep with a bag under his arm. He knocked on the window and tried not to smile at her jerk and abrupt turn. He had clearly taken her out of her thoughts. She stared at him wide eyed for a few seconds before looking toward the center console of the jeep to press the power button that rolled down the window.

"Varian, what are you doing here?" She couldn't help but ask. Surely, he hadn't been in the accident.

"I live around here." He replied as he pulled out the bag from under his arm and held it to her. "I'm 'stupid' who called 9-1-1 for you." He said and grinned when he saw her cheeks flush.

"Sorry." Cass muttered and stared at the bag he offered her.

"It's just food. Adrenaline drops fast and leaves you exhausted- and you'll need energy to get you back home."

Cass stared at the bag for a few moments more, before gently taking it from him. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing." Varian shook his head.

Cass raised a brow at him. Her behavior in training earlier brought back to the forefront of her mind. The apology was there- right at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't say it. She turned away and set the bag on the passenger side of her jeep. "Thanks." Accepting the food without a fight was apology enough in her book.

Varian chuckled and gave her a small nod. "Have a good night, Cass, not Cassie." He then began to saunter towards the side walk.

"Hey, Varian." Cass called out, still with her window down. "Let me give you a ride home."

Varian turned and was about to say no need but…. A ride sounded nice. He must have taken a few seconds longer to reply and she took it as rejection when she started up the car. He quickly pulled himself out of his head and scrambled to the passenger side and slid onto the cloth seat.
"Thanks." He said quickly when she raised a brow at him. She shook her head then faced forward.

"Where to?"

He gave her the address and she turned her blinker on and drove back onto the road.

Varian watched her as she drove. It was obvious her body was tired from the ordeal they'd just gone through, but her eyes were alight with thoughts streaming through them. He could tell. She was thinking about something. Her brow was furrowed so it must be a problem, right? Maybe he could help!

"Penny for your thoughts, m'lady?" He asked after a few moments.

He frowned when he was met with silence.

"Cass?"

"What?"

"What's got your brain working overtime?"

"Nothing that concerns you." She said in a slight testy tone. She glanced at him for a quick moment, then back at the road. "Don't worry about it."

He didn't like when Cass was… nice. Cass was always kind, but nice just… It wasn't her. He frowned. "Are you thinking about how much you miss working as an ER nurse?" He couldn't help but ask. That was common knowledge to everyone at the FBI. The director would boast at how his daughter was a great ER nurse, and how she was changing the world and helping people in a much more immediate and impactful way.

"I'd be lying if I said I don't miss it, but my hearts not in it. I appreciate everything it taught me." Cass replied honestly as she stopped at a red light and turned the blinker on to turn onto his street.

Varian nodded sagely. "You were a nurse for a long time."

"Yeah. But it wasn't what I wanted to do. I only did it for father. Took me a while to realize I needed to do things for me. That's what I'm finally doing." She turned to Varian and said, "No more questions about my past. I only answered these tidbits because I feel… I'm…" She inhaled and exhaled sharply and quickly muttered under her breath. "Sorry for earlier today."

It took Varian a few moments to decipher what she had said before he shook his head. "Nah, it's ok. I had honestly completely forgotten about it. I know you were trying to help in your own way." He said sincerely as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Cass gave a sharp nod, then pulled onto the curb. "I'll leave once you're in the building." She said as she put the car in park.

Varian nodded and slipped out, but then grabbed the brown paper bag and held it out to her. "At least eat one of the pastries before you head home." He set it on the cupholder when he realized she wasn't going to take it, and began to head toward the brown brick apartment building.

Cass stared at his retreating form until he'd passed the dark brown door. She shook her head and shifted into drive, and started towards her own apartment. She reached into the bag for a scone- and immediately could tell it was blackberry by the scent. She took a bite and drove with one hand as she contemplated what had happened. She had the make of the car and knew what intersections she had lost the car at- she could hopefully use the traffic cameras and follow the trail. Unless they were smart and turned down another less frequently visited road that didn't have major traffic cams.

She groaned and threw the unfinished pastry back into the bag and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes once she was stopped at a red light. How could she have been so careless? While she hadn't been the sole reason the accident had occurred, she was partially responsible. So many people… She felt the telltale itch on her palms once more and began to rub them on her jeans until the light turned green. She floored the gas and sped home. She turned on the radio and rolled the windows down to keep her in the present. She had no idea what the music was- all she knew was that it was muffled and getting worse. She eventually pulled over and slammed on her breaks and managed to put the car into park before jetting out of the driver's side and into a bush to empty out the contents of her stomach.

"I'm not there anymore. I'm not there anymore." She repeated over and over as she pressed her forehead into the cold concrete. The smell of bile and gastric fluids stung her nose, but at that moment, it was a welcome scent. It forced her to stay in the present and not get pulled back to that night.

After a few more violent coughs and gags, Cass finally stood up and wiped her mouth with the back of her arm and trudged back to her jeep. She took in a few shaky breaths before pulling into traffic. Never again would she leave herself that open or that vulnerable.

The minute she arrived at her apartment, she parked in front of the white and grey townhouse and pulled out her keys.

"Cassandra?"

Cass whipped around, hand instinctively going to her right side where she normally carried her gun, but all she grasped was air. She cursed as her father gave her a small frown and raised an eyebrow.

"Unprepared- and very distracted." He commented with the shake of his head. "Had I been the enemy I could have easily incapacitated you. How do you expect to-"

Cass exhaled slowly and bit the inside of her cheek as she interrupted him mid-lecture. "What do you want, dad?" she asked in a surly tone.

John sighed and shook his head as he said, "I am here to give you an assignment."

At that, Cass whipped her head around. "An assignment? It couldn't have waited for tomorrow mornings briefing?"

John shook his head no and motioned toward the front door. "May we speak inside?"

Cass gave a quick nod and turned to unlock her front door and turn on her hallway light. She then waited for her father to come in before locking it behind her. The townhouse was small and consisted of two floors. The first floor was the kitchen and living room area- where she had a black leather love seat with a tv, a dark brown bookshelf, and a desk with a laptop and a half-drunk coffee. The kitchen was sparse and had three plates, three sets of forks, knives and spoons all resting in the sink covered in dry suds, and a half open cup ramen on the counter. It resembled John's old bachelor pad before he had found Cassandra and adopted her. He scratched his cheek as he sat down on her couch.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Cass asked as she awkwardly shuffled into the kitchen. She couldn't remember when she'd last cleaned, or bought groceries. She usually ordered take out or ate with Rap's at her place before coming home to sleep.

John shook his head no as he inspected his daughter's home. He should have taught her better. He turned to her before he even dared go upstairs to check out her bedroom when he said,

"Your assignment begins tomorrow. You and the new recruit, Varian, will be going along with Ariana Corona on her Education tour. You are to be her personal unarmed bodyguard. Your job is not to engage if you are threatened, it is to take her and yourself out of any of the situations you encounter, safely. Am I clear?"

Cass frowned. "You basically want me to babysit Rap's mom."

John raised an eyebrow. "You call this serious assignment, babysitting?"

"Uh, yeah. No one is going to attack Ariana Corona, dad. And she's got a helluva lot of security details because Frederick is so paranoid." She rolled her eyes as she went into her kitchen and pulled out the pastry bag Varian had given her out of her jacket pocket and set it down on the counter. She pulled out the pastry she had previously taken a bite from, and began to polish it off. "Also, people know that Ariana can take care of herself. If they truly wanted to get at Frederick, they'd go after Punz, and with me and Fitzherjerk-" Her father winced at the nickname of his prized Agent, "constantly around her, no one would dare try."

John shook his head. "Regardless, the mission is to protect Ariana Corona during her tour and visits to the Corona backed hospitals." He crossed his arms. "Unless this is too much of an assignment for you, in which case I can assign-"

"No, no. I'll do it." Cass sighed. It was an assignment, and while it wasn't exactly what she felt she was capable of doing- it was better to personally keep an eye on Ariana for Rapunzel's sake. It would also be an added bonus to have Rapunzel tag along on the tours without Fitzherjerk. Then they could hang out even more without his interruptions.

John gave a stiff nod and stood up from the couch. "Good." He glanced around the apartment again and sighed. "Have you been going to counseling? Have you been eating?" He asked as he glanced at his daughter. While the FBI Director had at first, arrived as her boss, he now looked at her like his little girl, and it made Cass's stomach go sour.

"I'm fine, dad." Cass stressed as she shoved the second pastry into her mouth.

John gazed as his daughter for a few seconds longer, before nodding and heading to the door. "At least clean up the place. It stinks." He said as he opened the door. "You leave for the first junket at 0600. Be prepared. Remember, no weapons." He glanced at her. "Wear your bullet proof vest and something presentable. You'll be on television." He wanted to say good luck, but he felt adding more than the bare minimum would sound like encouragement, when all he wanted was for her to go back to nursing. It was much, much safer than throwing herself into the possibility of harm's way. He pulled out a few pamphlets for different Nurse Practitioner programs from his pocket and set them by her front door, ignoring Cass's subtle curse and scowl, as he walked out and shut the door.

As soon as he was out of range, Cass released a small, frustrated scream and head up to her bedroom as she contemplated the injustice of being treated like she was delicate, like she wasn't capable, and the complete disregard for what she wanted.

If only her dreams didn't betray what her inner thoughts believed.

Cass felt the sweat dripping down the back of her navy-blue scrubs as she stared ahead. Grey eyes steely, yet her heart was slamming into her chest so hard and fast, it would have burst through had it not been for her ribcage keeping it in. The cool metal from the barrel of the gun was pressed to her back as they rode the elevator to the basement. She shivered as the doors opened and the cold air from the morgue slammed into the bare skin of her exposed arms.
"Get." The deep voice growled in her ear. She began to walk into the morgue and towards the mortuary cabinets along the back wall where they kept coroner cases.

"Which one did ya put him in?"

Cass's tongue felt like cotton in her mouth, and it took her a few moments to process what was being asked of her, and she pointed towards the cabinet to her right. "There."

The man tightened his grip on her arm and pressed the gun deeper into her back. "Open it."

With a small nod, Cass reached for the handle and pulled it open.

The man snarled and slammed the hand with the gun against the open cabinet door, making her jump in surprise. It took her a second to realize why the man who had sequestered her from the ER floor looked familiar. He was a twin. And it appeared his twin had come in the day before- and was dead.

"Pull him out." The man demanded.

Cass felt the blood pool into her to pit of her stomach. Her hands shook slightly as she began to pull the drawer out, exposing the man. He had come in with gunshot wounds- and she has been the one to do compressions on him as soon as he arrived while they got IV lines in. She could see the stiffness and the distortion of his jaw- the intubation tube was still hanging past his lips.

The man beside her retreated for a few moments. She could hear him choking back a sob- before roughly grabbing her by the back of the neck and slamming her face into the metal door of the cabinet. Cass gasped as she saw stars, barely deciphering what was being yelled.

"We didn't do anything. He was in v-tach and pulseless when he came in. We tried everything to revive him. He was intubated in the field."

"Lies." He hissed as he yanked her away from the metal and began to force her towards the doors, back to the elevator. "I need to make an announcement." He growled as he hit the button for the first floor of the hospital. He needed hostages, and by hell and highwater, he was going to get them.

The E.D. at Corona General immediately became chaotic upon their arrival, and it took all of Cass's willpower to stay strong. Never had an elevator ride felt so long to her. Never had ten minutes felt so eternal.

One of her co-workers, Shiela, stared in surprise and fear up at her once staff and patients alike, were down on the floor at the gunman's orders. The gun intermittently switching from her back, to those in the E.D. and back to her. He had led her over to one of the phones at the nurse's station and made her call the police- and be his voice as he attempted to get a ransom out, and an answer as to who killed his twin. He wanted revenge.

Tom, one of the security guards that had been hiding, began to sneak in their direction to take down the assailant- he only had a stun gun. Cass tried to shake her head no, to make him go back, but it was too late. She couldn't remember what she had said, but she had been the only one allowed to try and save him- no one else. No number of solo compressions, or pressing down on his wounds without help was going to save him. She couldn't remember when she had taken off her scrub top to use as a gauze- pressing it into his wound with her knee as she tried to keep him alive with compressions. She had eventually been pulled off of him, and forced back to the phone when it began to ring. Her white tank top and scrub bottoms, her arms and hands, and now the phone- were covered in blood. It took all her willpower not to turn back towards Tom- knowing without her help he would bleed out and die much faster than if she had stayed to help. She could hear the other medical professionals beg the gunman to let them help save the security guard, but a few bullets to the ceiling shut them up and they all turned their backs on Tom.

Cass quickly shot up in bed with a loud gasp. Sweat dripped down her forehead and she quickly threw the covers to the side and glanced at her bedside alarm clock. It read 0330. She'd only slept for two hours. She groaned as she got up and head to the bathroom by her bedroom to splash cool water on her face. She grabbed a dark blue towel and dried up her face, and used the moisture from the towel to cool down the back of her neck and down her arms.

It was because of her status as the daughter of John Kade, Director of the FBI, that the FBI had been dispatched to take down the assailant. The rest of the night had been a horrific, onslaught of sounds and blurry images, which at times, she was grateful for.

Her father had taken her back to his home- and had kept her there as she recovered from shock for the next few months. She had resigned as a nurse, and signed up for the FBI as soon as she went back to her own apartment. Since then, there had been a lot of tension between her and her father, but it had definitely improved within the last year. She threw the towel into the hamper by her shower and head back to bed. She sat on the edge and turned on the TV- hopefully something would calm her down and bore her back to sleep. She flipped channels until landing on a cartoon- one of the main protagonists was a mage with brown hair, but it wasn't the mage, or the small boy king with the pet dragon that caught her attention. It was the moon elf assassin who carried herself in a similar way that caught her attention. Luckily, it didn't take long for the show to lull her back to sleep.