Wei WuXian's first thought upon waking up was, I thought Purgatory would be more waiting in line and less bedroom-y. "Wei Ying is not dead," coming from somewhere near his feet scared him into sitting up even though his aching body protested the whole time.

"Lan Zhan! You should let a person know you're there!" Wei WuXian protested, hand pressed against his racing heart. "You nearly scared me to death!" Lan WangJi didn't say anything, but that single crease in the middle of his eyebrows answered for him. Wei WuXian sighed and let his hand fall to the covers. "I'm fine, Lan Zhan," he said, answering the unspoken question. "I'm a bit hungry and sore. But I think I'm going to be alright."

"I brought your letters," Lan WangJi placed a small packet tied with a ribbon on the bed.

Wei WuXian could feel his face heating up a bit. "Thanks, I really don't want Jiang Cheng or ShiJie to see them now."

Lan WangJi stood up and half bowed. "I will go now. There is a disciplinary meeting."

Wei WuXian hid the letters in his qiankun pouch and sank back down onto the pillow. "Ow. Everything hurts. I think even my hair hurts!"

Jiang Cheng blustered his way into the room. "That's because you're an idiot! What the Hell were you thinking? You almost died, you know! If… if Lan WangJi hadn't…."

"What did Lan Zhan do?" Wei WuXian really had no idea. He'd managed to first wrest the puppets from Wen RuoHan's control and then steal control of the Yin iron itself. And then something went POP in his head and everything went dark.

"That… man abandoned his position with the Lan to stand over your worthless carcass and play Cleansing instead of fighting!"

"He what?"

"Nie ZongZhu and I have managed to talk the Lan Elders out of executing him. I'm glad you're better, but I need to go back. Jin ZongZhu is demanding a public demonstration of."

"Execution?" Wei WuXian flung the covers back and attempted to get out of bed. "Help me, ShiDi. They can't execute him for protecting me!"

Jiang WanYin helped his brother put on his outer robes and walked him to the Sect leaders' chamber. "He's not going to be executed. Jin ZongZhu and some of the Lan elders are asking for a public whipping. Nie ZongZhu and Lan ZongZhu and I are voting for seclusion. The idiot won't even say a word in his own defense! Won't even say why he thought you were more important than obeying orders."

Wei WuXian arrived at the chamber just in time to hear Jin GuangShan gleefully pronounce, "Thirty-three lashes. One for each cultivator you left behind."

"No!" Wei WuXian ran as fast as he could, legs still shaking, so it wasn't fast at all. "You can't punish him for this. I told him to. I told him to make sure I didn't die of qi deviation or I'd expose a shameful secret. It's my fault."

"Wei Ying, no," Lan WangJi's voice was calm. "Lan WangJi did this. Wei Ying is innocent."

"I can't let you take the blame for protecting me," Wei WuXian hissed as he knelt down next to his friend. "Just let me do this, okay?" To Lan XiChen, he bowed his head, "ZeWu-Jun. If Lan WangJi acted against orders, it was because of my influence. I am too irreverent and dislike…"

Lan XiChen smiled. "Wei WuXian. I know my brother. I know exactly why he did what he did." The younger man's head popped up, the word 'why' forming on his lips. "I don't disagree with his reasons; order on a battlefield must be kept. Orders from a superior must be obeyed. Lan WangJi knew this and made his choice."

"I demand to share his punishment, then," Wei WuXian insisted.

"Fine." Lan XiChen spoke over his younger brother's "No."

"It's just a regular whip, though, right? Not the Lan discipline whip?"

"No time to get the discipline whip," Lan Zhan admitted. "Wei Ying… don't do this. You're still recovering."

"I'm fine, Lan Zhan. I've been sleeping for a couple days. Thirty-three lashes is nothing compared to being whipped by ZiDian." Then he started untying his belt and robes. "You might want to bare your back…. The lashes are painful; having to have the healers remove bits of cloth is just an additional pain you don't really want."

"Wei Ying has been whipped before?"

"Of course! It's far less painful than having to write the GusuLan Sect rules three hundred times!"

Wei WuXian saw two men enter the room carrying long whips. He knew how to prepare for a handful of lashes: thirty-three might kill him given the state his body was in. Despite his protests to his brother and friend, he was nowhere near anything approximating healthy. The first lash stung; he muffled his grunt of pain. By number five, he had bit through part of his lip to keep from screaming. By ten, he couldn't feel anything but the fire that was once his back. For some reason, the whipping stopped at sixteen. There was one more crack and a muffled noise from Lan WangJi, and silence.

"Thirty-three. Please take these men to the Healers for treatment." Lan XiChen ordered.

"What is this?" Jin GuangShan thundered. "Why did they stop?"

Nie MingJue smiled over Baxia's hilt. "The count is correct. Thirty-three lashes, one for each abandoned cultivator, exactly as Jin ZongZhu directed."

Jin GuangShan glared at the Nie sect leader and then at Lan XiChen. "Thirty-three each."

Lan XiChen smiled serenely. "That was not agreed to. Thirty-three was the punishment. Wei GongZi agreed to share the punishment. Thirty-three were ordered; thirty-three were given." He bowed the lowest allowed to not give offense. "I will take my leave now to see how they are faring."

Wen Qing put the boys to sleep as soon as they entered her demesne. She allowed another healer to care for Wei WuXian as his back was slightly less damaged and there was no cloth to pick out of the wounds. "Mother said men are idiots," she muttered, picking yet another miniscule scrap of white cloth from a weeping red wound. "At least one of you had the brains of a cockroach and removed his shirt. If any of these get left behind, it will affect your healing, cause a fever, or festering."

Lan Xichen knelt at her side and held his brother's hand. "Can I give him spiritual energy? Or will that…."

"It will help," Wen Qing stated. "Why?"

"Why did we have to punish him like this? Or why did he disobey orders?"

Wen Qing did not glare at the man sitting next to her. "Anyone with eyeballs can see why he protected that idiot," she nudged her chin in Wei WuXian's direction. "Why didn't he defend himself?"

"Lan XiChen looked over at the younger boy. "Sometimes, there is no defense. You do what you have to do and damn the consequences."

Over the next few days, many cultivators wandered into the rooms set aside for the healers to work in. They offered their spiritual energy to those in need of it. And if two of her patients were the recipients most often offered energy? Wen Qing wasn't about to tell anyone to stay away. Or tell on them to the more antagonistic Sect leaders. As far as she was concerned, Wei WuXian won that battle just as much, if not more, than that Meng Yao person even though Meng GongZi was the one to finally kill Wen RuoHan. Wei WuXian didn't deserve to die from a qi deviation; Lan WangJi playing Cleansing saved that idiot's life. Neither deserved a beating for what they did.

Sometimes you needed to do a wrong thing to do the right thing. Life wasn't black and white. Shades of gray were necessary.

A few nights later, Wei WuXian woke up with his back on fire for a wholly new reason. "Itchy!" he whined. It was a good sign that his back was healing properly, but an unwelcome one.

Lan WangJi patted his bed. "Can you come here? I have salve; I'll put some on for you."

Wei WuXian crawled from one cot to the other. Cooling salve soothed the itchy feeling. "Lan Zhan…. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you abandon your people to take care of me?"

"Does Wei Ying really not know?"

"If I knew, why would I ask?" the younger man whined again.

"Why did you take the whipping for me?"

"Because it was my fault you got in trouble in the first place."

"Not Wei Ying's fault." The hands rubbing salve stilled and sank to the bed. "Go to sleep now."

Wei WuXian turned. "Turn around. I'll do you first." For some reason, this sentence made Lan WangJi's ears turn bright red. "Turn around," he insisted when the older boy didn't move. "You've shown your bare back to the world for days now. You can't be shy anymore." It took a few breaths, but Lan WangJi eventually did as he was ordered. Wei WuXian smoothed some cream over shoulder blades. Where the skin wasn't barely crusted over with new skin, it was deeply bruised. "Your poor back. I'll bet it was beautiful before they did this to you. Don't worry, though. It was just a regular whip; your Core and all that energy we're being fed will heal this up in no time. You shouldn't even have a scar from it. If you ever change your mind and get married, your wife won't…." Wei WuXian allowed his voice to trail off. Thinking about that hypothetical woman made his tummy feel strange again. And reminded him of that odd wish before he went off to battle. Lan WangJi's hair was pulled up into a simple knot on top exposing a small hollow right in the middle of his neck. Wei WuXian was filled with the strange need to press his lips into that fuzzy nook. Would those little hairs feel rough like facial hair? Or smooth like arm hair? Would they tickle? Wei WuXian wrenched his eyes down to the scarred flesh instead. There were no inappropriate thoughts about that mess of red, blue and black. "Do you feel better? I'm tired. I'm going back to bed." He was aware that he had only covered half of his friend's back, so he quickly slathered salve onto the rest and crawled back to his own cot. Where he lay for hours contemplating the difference between wanting to kiss a dairymaid and wanting to kiss his friend.

Neither was appropriate.

Both made him quite aware of his own body's eagerness and response.

Maybe I should just visit a brothel and get it over with. That thought made him slightly nauseated. He wasn't sure how many prostitutes sold their bodies because they enjoyed the act so much they wanted to do it with many men and how many were there because it was better than starving. He'd rather not pay for a woman to unwillingly remove him of his virginity when his hands worked just fine.

While those wounded at the Battle of the Nightless City recuperated, the Allies cleaned up. The dead were burned. Enemy cultivators were stripped of their weapons and confined to cells spelled against the use of spiritual energy. Sect leaders combed through bedrooms and vaults looking for scrolls and spiritual devices as payment for their losses. Smaller Sects started to return home as any major treasures were sure to be split among the larger Sects.

Jin GuangShan, whose army arrived after Wen RuoHan was cut down, strutted around as if he was the victor because it was his son who delivered the fatal blow. Meng Yao, now to be called Jin GuangYao, smiled and accepted congratulations with a smile that never faltered.

Wei WuXian, upon hearing the news, was confused. "But isn't he Jin ZongZhu's son? Shouldn't he be called ZiYao? His generation is 'Zi' not 'Guang'..." He was told to keep such observations to himself.

The Jiang Sect left the Nightless City in time to return to Lotus Pier for the start of summer and rebuilding. They were all put to work, regardless of birth status. Wei WuXian was not allowed to do any heavy lifting for the first month in order to let his back heal completely, so he was taught how to weave seating mats and pallets.

By the end of summer, there was sufficient housing to cover everyone, regular trainings had resumed, and Wei WuXian was completely healed.

Jiang WanYin had a new problem: he was of age, unmarried, and a Sect leader. Women of all ages and fortune made it a point to wander past him while wearing their most beautiful clothing and accessories, giggling behind fans or hands when he made a remark that might be witty. He had dozens of handkerchiefs given to him that were apparently embroidered by 'accident'. Or there were extra portions of soup or cut up fruits. Wei WuXian found this all absolutely hysterical. He made sure to ask about this one or that to see how she compared to Jiang Cheng's ideal woman.

Wei WuXian, on the other hand, had no such problems with girls. In fact, there was one girl who was becoming almost indispensable: Yao CaiHong. Thankfully, she was from a YunMengYao clan that was destroyed by the Wen (not thankful that the clan was decimated just that she was from YunMeng) and not related to that blustering oaf, idiot, horrid person.) Yao CaiHong was a decent cultivator and a semi-decent swordswoman. Her archery was dismal. She was also diligent in her practice and demonstrated her steady improvement whenever he happened to be the one training archery. She was eager to be taught more and outside of normal training hours. What she didn't do was act shy and demur all the time. Or pretend to make extras of something just to have an excuse to see him.

One afternoon, Wei WuXian was lazing away on a dock instead of lazing away in the water. The peacock had been to Lotus Pier to personally deliver an invitation to a hunt once the fall weather set in. "ShiJie," Wei WuXian wondered, thinking of that peacock and how his attitude had changed towards his shijie since Mo Manor. "How do you know if you like someone?"

Jiang YanLi smiled. "Is there someone XianXian likes? I've noticed you seem happier lately…."

Wei WuXian frowned. "What does me being happier have to do with liking someone?"

"Well," Jiang YanLi's smile broadened. "Part of liking someone is that they make you feel better. Happier. More content. To be near them is to be satisfied with life. Or sometimes, they make you feel uncertain, unbalanced. Like there's something missing, and only they can fix it."

The frown turned into a scowl. "I don't feel like that around anyone." That wasn't true; he was deliberately refusing to remember how unsettled he felt sometimes back during the war. "Besides, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you and that… Jin ZiXuan." he managed to not say peacock. "He was so horrid to you and you still liked him. And now he's not so horrible to you…. How can you like someone who ignored you and berated you?"

"I just do," his shijie shrugged. "Sometimes liking someone has no apparent reason. It could be the way they look or the sound of their voice." Jiang YanLi's voice turned teasing. "Are you sure there isn't someone turning your head? You're spending a lot of time with a new shimei lately…."

"What new shimei," he muttered.

"Young Yao CaiHong. She's pretty. I like her."

Wei WuXian sat up. This seemed like it was going to be a conversation that needed to be addressed from a non-prone position. "Yao GuNiang wants to become a better cultivator. She needs training. It's natural for us to work together. This isn't GusuLan where men and women are kept apart. She's just a fellow disciple."

"Of course she is."

Wei WuXian was absolutely convinced they were merely shimei and shige.

Yao CaiHing found him after he left his ShiJie to ask him to help her with archery again. He helped as he always did, using his feet to turn her legs and feet into a slightly better stance. Guiding her shoulders and back as she drew the bow. That close, he could smell the gentle perfume of her soap. Something flowery but not overpowering. She smelled really nice, actually. She looked over her shoulder, eyes questioning if she had the stance correct yet. She had pretty eyes…. Not as pretty as Lan WangJi's, but very pretty. Like almonds except the pointed end tilted up a bit. She had nice lashes, too. Full and thick and long. They didn't dip in that flirty, shy girl way, either. She looked at him firmly and openly. And then they did dip, a brief flicker to look at his mouth before rising again to look him in the eyes. She wants me to kiss her. He was sure of it.

Did he want to kiss her? He let go and talked her through making the shot. She hit the center ring, but on the edge, not near the middle. Again and again, he fixed her body to get into the correct position. And if sometimes he looked at her mouth and wondered, that was allowed wasn't it? He was young and unmarried. She seemed interested. ShiJie at least thought she was interested. Her lips looked smooth and inviting. A kiss. His first kiss. She'd probably welcome it. Right? Girls don't look at men's lips unless they're thinking about kissing, right?

With a girl like Yao CaiHong, though…. Was a kiss ever just a kiss? Something to be enjoyed and then never spoken of again? Or was a kiss an offer for more? For marriage?

Was he ready for a family? To have a wife and do that with her?

He wasn't even nineteen…. Yes, some boys were married and fathers at his age. A lot of girls were married and mothers at his age.

The idea of kissing her made his blood race. The idea of doing more with her made him glad that he wasn't sharing a room with anyone anymore. But as he closed his eyes to better concentrate on his self-pleasure, the face and body that aroused him enough to finish weren't Yai CaiHong's. The woman he pictured had pretty eyes, and soft looking lips, a slim waist, and long legs; he used a handkerchief to clean himself up with. He slept and dreamed she was kissing him.