Chapter 11-2, Light Side of the Moon
The salty water ran over his tongue and burned his eyes. The world went dark as the ocean waves played with him, tossing him this way and that. His body was in shock from the impact and none of the neural impulses that said 'swim' made it to his limbs. However, the part of his brain that wanted to breathe was gaining ground. Skwisgaar fought the instinct to pull the outside into himself, knowing that if he did, it would be the end of him. That was always going to be the end of him, letting things in. You need water to live, but if it gets into the wrong part of you, you're done for.
Let me in
A voice called from the cold darkness all around him. Had he heard it, or just remembered he had without it passing through his ears? Skwisgaar's throat pulled down involuntarily in little jerking motions. Like a master pulling the string on a servant bell, his lungs were demanding air and were growing more and more impatient. A wave twisted him and suddenly he was being carried by the current. A tiny man in the hands of a watery Goddess.
He couldn't hold his lungs still much longer. His consciousness was starting to slip and soon the reflex that had kept him alive above the water would be the cause of his demise. The muffled sound of waves breaking against the rocks pounded through his head. The beating drum of his death march.
The Norns decide our fate from the moment we are born. He had survived fire, fan attacks, assassination attempts, bombings, overdoses, psycho groupies, car crashes, alcohol poisoning, even being hunted by a pack of wolves. Just last night he had a shotgun pointed at him, certain he would die. But this was the choice of the Norns, to drown in the Floridian sea. Who was he to deny the will of the Gods? At least he could join the 27 club, although he was technically older than that now, but Charles would sort out the paperwork, he always did. He'd be able to ask him about it soon.
Let me in
He remembered the voice again as it spoke. This was a Viking's death; taken by the waves that bore them to new lands and new fortune. He'd left Sweden all those years ago, determined to find greatness, to be the best, to show Pelle once and for all he had no power over him. That he could surpass him, that he could be whole without him. And he had done that, hadn't he?
He let his pout part for one, last, time.
A force hit his chest, making it impossible to draw the ocean into him. Something had latched onto his shirt and it was pulling him as it moved clumsily through the water. Suddenly, he could hear again and his face was cold as the sea breeze swept over it. His lungs burned and laboured, still taking in more water than they should, but not as much as they were about to.
Toki gasped when they broke the water's surface and desperately tried to keep Skwisgaar's spluttering head up. The waves intensified but Toki took this as a sign they were nearing the shore. The tip of his boot felt sand underneath him and he let the water carry them a few more feet until he could stand.
Breath rasping, Skwisgaar clung to Toki even though he was taller, unsure if he could stand himself yet. They sloshed towards the beach and eventually, Skwisgaar found his feet. He fell to his hands and knees when he reached the break line on the beach.
They collapsed next to each other on the hard, wet sand and let the waves lap up to their thighs. A few small rocks and shells dug into their backs as they lay close enough to feel each other's body warmth, proof they were still alive.
"Fuck." Was all Skwisgaar could muster.
"Yeah, fuck." Toki said with a small, desperate laugh.
They panted and spluttered for a few more moments. Skwisgaar's entire chest cavity thudded and throbbed as he looked up to the balcony from which he had fallen. Three faces looked down at them then disappeared franticly. It seemed at least a mile in the sky from down here. They should be dead.
He reached out and grabbed Toki's wrist. Maybe they were they died that night in the snow, in Danzig, and made it to Valhalla. Two warriors, eternally locked in battle, because without the other, they were simply fighting themselves.
He let his eyes relax and shift out of focus as he watched the silver lined clouds passing across the moon in the southern sky; This was the second time he'd nearly died in 24 hours, but he was still alive. And with that thought, he went completely limp. He rested on the sand, vulnerable, unable to move, exposed to the night. He forced himself to put pressure through the fingers holding onto Toki, binding them.
"Pelle." Skwisgaar croaked still staring at the moon. "He was a God to me. He was my… my everything." He could taste shell grit and sea salt as he spoke. "I loved him. I loved him with everything I had." He pressed in harder on Toki's wrist. "I'll never love anyone like that again. I don't want to." He could feel Toki tense under his grip, but this is what Toki wanted, so he let the truth flow out of him in cathartic release. "It's the only time in my life I let my guard down, and he got inside me and moved everything about. I swear he fucking rewired my brain. He made me think things, do things, say things. He had total control over me. I was such an idiot teenager, I didn't even realise. But even if I had, I don't think I would have fought it. I trusted him that much. I let him in that far."
"Is that why you won't let me in?" Toki asked.
Skwisgaar's brow furrowed as he remembered the ocean Goddess's words, but now he could remember them in Toki's voice.
He forced a painful scoff. "Let you in? You're the one person I can't keep out."
Toki was silent. The clouds moved and Skwisgaar was looking at the Moon in her full brilliance. Even though it's the sun's light that gives it the ability to be seen, the moon is more beautiful than the sun could ever be. More magical. It lets the sun still shine, even in darkness. He found Toki's fingers and lanced them in his own.
"Toki, do you really hate me?" Skwisgaar's voice was genuine, there was nothing left to hide.
"Absolutely." The Norwegian replied and gave his hand a little squeeze. "I hate the way you're so confident all the time, especially with the press and the people from the label. I hate how you're so egalitarian with women, it's like you turned sex into an abstract art form. Do you know how cool that is? I mean, I try to see the ladies for what's on the inside but you just take it to a whole new level. I hate the way you can just write something amazing right off the top of your head. I hate," He stopped and took a long breath, "I hate that you have meaning in your life. You've dedicated your every waking second to your art and that determination has paid off."
"Is that… really… what you think of me?" Skwisgaar's voice quivered.
"uh huh." Toki sighed. "But for all those same reasons, I guess, I love you."
Skwisgaar involuntarily squeezed Toki's hand at those three words. He had heard them from millions of screaming fans, from groupies gripped in the throws of passion, even from Knubbler after a particularly fruitful recording session. But they didn't love him, they loved the idea of him. Their affections were only for the parts of Skwisgaar that shone. But Toki lurked in his shadow. He saw the parts of him no one was ever meant to see, and still, those three little words past his lips.
"But, you still hate me." Skwisgaar squeezed his hand deliberately this time. "Can you feel both for the same person? At the same time? Is that, a thing?"
"Well, I do." Toki said, "And I think I have for longer than I realised." They both fell silent for a moment with only the sound of lapping water filling the space between them.
"Well then, I hate you too." Strength was returning to Skwisgaar's limbs and he shifted in the sand. "I hate the way you don't need to be cool, you just do what you want when you want to and don't care what other people think. I hate that you're so good with animals, they never seem to like me very much. It makes me think that they know I'm rotten on the inside and don't want to come near me. I hate how quickly you learn things and that you're so good with technology. You learnt how to use the sound board in, like, a week; I still don't know what any of the buttons do. And you did that whole Planet Piss website from You Tube tutorials, I don't even know how to change my browser settings. Even your guitar playing. No teacher, no schooling, and almost no fucking practice and you're still," Toki's head jerked upwards expectantly making Skwisgaar choose his next words carefully, "as good as you are."
"You mean, as good as you are." Toki said.
"Don't push it."
Toki smirked triumphantly. "I had no idea you thought of me like that." He said.
"Well, I do. And I suppose those are some of the reasons that, I guess, I love you too." He shifted his head up a little to look at the Norwegian. "Except the not practicing thing, that really pisses me off."
"See, now I don't get that." Toki groaned as he sat up gingerly, "You get all shitty at me for not practicing, and then when I do and I get better, you still won't look at me."
"By the Gods. All these years and you still haven't figured it out?" Skwisgaar held his middle as he brought himself up to a sitting position as well. "Do you know what sucks about being the best? There's no one better than you. That means there's no goal, nothing to work towards. You're done, that's it, game over, you've won."
Toki rolled his eyes at him.
"So that's where you come in." Skwisgaar continued. "That's why I push you so hard; I need you to practice so you nip at my heels, push me forward. I need you to make me work for my title, it's no fun otherwise. And I bet you didn't realise this either, but it's been like that from day fucking one." He poked a finger softly onto Toki's forehead to emphasise his point, "Don't you see? I'm constantly looking at you, but I'm doing it from over my shoulder."
Everything halted in Toki; breathing, blood, even pain signals. His brain was trying to reboot itself so he had some chance of processing the overload Skwisgaar had just sent it.
"And from what I heard tonight, I'm going to be working harder than ever." Skwisgaar said, a tinge of pride in his voice.
Toki's mind melted like ice cream in the Tampa sun, and all the air in his lungs dissolved. He didn't blink or twitch or try to replenish his oxygen; He just watched those full soft lips crease upwards into a small, delicate smile. Not a pout, not a purse and not a smirk but a real smile of genuine affection. Toki moved in swiftly and pushed their salty lips together.
Nathan, Murderface, and Pickles tried to hurry through all the security systems the hoods had implemented. Finally, they burst out the front door of the hotel. Pickles was in the lead being the most agile and darted through the forest of Palm trees that stood between them and the private beach their band mates lay on. He saw Skwisgaar sit up next to Toki and slowed to catch his breath in relief. He turned to see Murderface and Nathan lumbering up behind him. Murderface halted, eyes wide and a look of morbid fascination across his features. Nathan also looked awkward, like when his mother would ask him for a massage. Pickles turned back towards the beach.
Toki had a fist full of Skwisgaar's shirt again, but this time he also had one of his hair, pulling him in close as he pressed his lips onto Skwisgaar's. Skwisgaar had a hand on Toki's shoulder and the other on his cheek as he pushed harder into their oral embrace. They broke away, chests heaving.
"I don't think we're meant ta be seein' this." Pickles whispered as he put his arms out and stepped backward, gesturing the others to leave. Murderface put a finger to his lips and shushed the drummer as he watched on. Nathan put his hand out to stop Pickles's barricade, not breaking his stare at the two on the sand.
Toki moved back in, pressing his mouth fervently onto Skwisgaar's, pushing Skwisgaar down onto the sand. Skwisgaar allowed himself to be lowered under Toki and crushed a handful of chestnut hair as Toki moved passionately down his neck.
"There Schee." Murderface said in a horse whisper. "Ten thousand bucksch, Nathan, cough it up! Told you Toki aint no bottom bitch."
Nathan took out the hotel stationary in his pocket and wrote out an IOU. "Man, I really thought that was going to go the other way." He ripped it from the pad and handed the little slip of defeat over to the bassist.
"Honestly, it was a fifty-fifty chance." Pickles said.
The sand got more heated. Toki pushed Skwisgaar's shirt up and moved his hands down towards his navel. Skwisgaar brought a knee up and nested Toki's hips between his legs, running his hand down Toki's arm encouragingly.
"OK, time ta go." Pickles turned to the others and made the 'vamous' gesture with both hands. "It's at that point where we get lost or join in." He herded them back to the hotel where hoods had started gathering with flashlights near the entrance. Pickles took one final look back at them and gave a little crooked smile; the search party could hold off a few minutes.
Toki pulled Skwisgaar's soaking shirt up and over his head then let it fall to the wet sand with a thud. Soot lines crossed Skwisgaar's neck and shoulders where the edge of his shirt had been; so strong even the ocean waves couldn't rid him of them. His gut was red from Toki's punches and half his face was larger than the other.
Toki tapped off his boots and drew himself up with a wince, a knee on either side of the swede's hips. He peeled his own shirt off. It stuck to his hand and he shook it off near Skwisgaar's head. The moonlight shone off Toki's matted hair, glistened off his bruised chest and sparkled off his dry, salty lips.
The gentle lap of the incoming tide curled around Skwisgaar's legs as he wiggled awkwardly out of his boots. He ran his hand over Toki's hips and up his abs. His calloused fingers glided softly over the red and blue patches developing across his pecks. Toki took a sharp little breath in but didn't stop his exploration.
Skwisgaar slid his hand to the back of Toki's neck, gently pulling him down onto him. A small movement shifted their weight and rolled them over. Skwisgaar groaned slightly from the strain on his gut but managed to sit up. Blonde hair stuck to Skwisgaar's face like golden seaweed, curling itself across his shoulders and chest. Seawater mixed with the soot in his lion's mane to form rivers of mud running down his torso.
They both resembled half drowned bilge rats; battered, bruised, and more than a little burned.
Skwisgaar pushed through the pain from his middle to bend down and placed his lips on Toki's; The iron taste of blood still lingered. The rhythm guitarist's stiff fingers moved across his back, pressing in under his shoulder blades. With each touch, he could feel his wall not crumbling, not melting, but simply disappearing. Evaporating like winter fog in the morning sun. Each touch brought more of him closer to Toki, exposing himself to him, without fear.
The warm summer water washed over itself and made a little crash of sea foam against Toki's arse. He pushed his hips and hardening self up against Skwisgaar. Toki ran a hand under the waistband of Skwisgaar's jeans. But he moved his hands away and looked up at him with those winter sky eyes dipped in silver moonlight, asking for permission; He wouldn't force his way in this time.
Skwisgaar delicately placed his hand on Toki's split cheek, water lapping at his knees, and thumbed Toki's wet moustache. He leaned forward and used the tide to help his jeans off. They stuck awkwardly and Toki took the back of his head, stroking his hair, as he peeled them off and threw them to land next to Toki's shirt. He was covered in nothing save seawater and moonlight, shimmering like a merman, sea spray crashing against his bare skin. Totally exposed.
Toki pulled him close. Their warm chests pressing into each other, tasting the salt on each other's tongue. He moved his hands down his sides towards the blonde seagrass between his legs. The summer breeze swept over them and the waves skimmed across the sand up to Toki's waist. Toki placed a tentative hand on Skwisgaar's most vulnerable part, delicately running his fingertips up and down. It twitched and grew with each of his breaths.
Skwisgaar moved his million dollar fingers towards Toki's torso. He cupped the hips of the man below him and slid Toki's jeans down enough to expose his own vulnerability. It was eager, almost jumping at him like a puppy. Skwisgaar realised how restrained Toki was being, how much he wanted this, wanted him.
Let me in, the silvery ocean whispered for a third time.
Skwisgaar moved Toki's hand from his member to the back of his head as he moved his lips to his, then down, to his chest, around his bruise, down to his abs, his belly, and then further. He landed his full lips on the very tip of Toki's quivering manhood. He scoffed internally. He hadn't sucked a cock in 10 years; He hadn't let anyone inside him, emotionally or physically.
He moved his lips over Toki's end, making the rhythm guitarist tense and pull air deep into his lungs. Skwisgaar slid further down, letting Toki inside his mouth, then slowly back up, then down again with precision.
Toki swore in pleasure under his breath. The waves lapped all the way up to his hand, where he crushed sand in his palm; This might be over a lot more quickly than he anticipated. Skwisgaar pushed more saliva onto Toki, it was time. He took his mouth away and Toki actually whimpered in disappointment. He smiled down at him then crawled up to straddle him on the hard sand.
He lowered himself to whisper in his ear. "If you want me to, I'll let you in."
Toki hugged him in earnest, shaking in the warm summer night. Skwisgaar leaned back, breaking their embrace. He took ahold of Toki and gently, guided him into his heat. Toki let Skwisgaar lower himself at his own speed, biting his bottom lip in anticipation. He wouldn't hurt him this time, now that he understood. All that time trying to chase him down, break down his wall, and force his way in. To make him see him, to… love him.
But it wasn't love unless Skwisgaar willingly and wantonly let him inside. The swede clenched around him and shots of electricity sped up Toki's spine all the way to the back of his throat. He caught himself before he got too close to the edge. Toki laced Skwisgaar's fingers in his own and tensed.
Skwisgaar rocked himself, testing, releasing, inching Toki inside. Toki panted underneath him which made him smile. He was still in control, he'd let him in, but on his terms. This, wasn't so bad. He threw his hips forward and Toki couldn't help but push up into it. Skwisgaar fell forward onto Toki's blue chest, silently handing over the final brick in his wall.
Toki pushed up into him again, this time brushing the spot that touched Skwisgaar's very soul. Skwisgaar swore and went limp under Toki's touch. He felt Toki hesitate.
"Keep going." He whispered.
Toki moved his lips onto his, then pushed up into him. Gently probing, investigating, learning, discovering the True Skwisgaar. He found the Skwisgaar from years ago. Smoking in the car park outside the rehearsal space. White jeans, white shirt - but now he could feel Skwisgaar's heart thumping wildly as little beads of sweat formed on his brow that had nothing to do with the humidity. His hands were shaking as he tapped the ash from the end of his cigarette.
That kid in there had almost had him, he was way too close. He hadn't won though, and so hadn't earned his spot in Dethklok. But what would happen if he joined a rival band? He beat him this time, but what would happen in a month? Six months? A year from now? He took a deep drag of his cigarette but it did little to calm his nerves.
The Norwegian kid was being escorted out by the others, dejected, making Skwisgaar's heart thump differently. Geeze, he was fresh off the boat and things weren't working out for him. In a foreign land, with more talent than he knew what to do with, and no idea how to make it work for him. That hit too close to home.
"Hey, are you from Oslo?" Skwisgaar asked, hoping he wasn't too close to home.
"Nei, from Lillihammer." He replied in a small voice. "Are you?"
"Fuck no." He pointed to his Swedish Flag belt buckle. "I'm from Gothenburg." The others had only heard Skwisgaar curse in Swedish or mumble in his sleep, but never converse in it. When he met another Swede, he spoke English to them as a way to break any connection to his past. "Where'd you learn to play?"
"I, spend a lot of time alone." Toki nervously fiddled with the lock on his guitar case. "So, I taught myself."
Self taught. A cocktail of exhilaration, and utter terror mixed in the back of Skwisgaar's throat. There was no way he could let him out of his sight, he couldn't let him join another band and rival him. Fuck! Even eclipse him? No, he needed to keep this kid very close. And if he did, and taught him to play properly…
"Hey!" Skwisgaar called to Nathan. "I wants him."
"Huh? What?" Nathan blinked at him in the setting sun.
"I wants him. In de band." Skwisgaar flicked his cigarette butt to the ground and stamped it with his boot as everyone raised their eyebrows at him, even Toki.
He would need to work harder than a salmon swimming upstream to stay in front. He smiled his pouty lips at the kid; He'd better make him.
Toki pushed up into Skwisgaar one last time and a wave crashed over them in crescendo as Toki emptied his soul into Skwisgaar's. The swede fell onto his chest, also spent. They drew deep breaths in the salty spray for a few moments as their heartbeats matched and the warmth of their bodies sank into one another.
Toki brushed Skwisgaar's hair as the waves moved in to lap over his shoulders. "I see you." He said softly and smiled at him with that moustache smile.
Skwisgaar rolled off him into the crook of his left arm. They lay there for a while letting the sea wash over them like a watery blanket. Toki pulled him in close as the moonlight faded and the very first shades of blue bled into the inky night sky from the budding dawn.
Skwisgaar carefully lay his arm across him, avoiding his bruise. His fret hand found Toki's T-shirt and he curled it against the faded scar on his palm.
"This is the end of my Career." He said letting waves of honesty crash over them. "I can't top this album. It's all down hill from here."
Toki turned onto his side to face him. "You really feel that way?" He studied Skwisgaar's face as he nodded still looking up at the dawn sky. "Well, if it's the end of your career, then it can be the beginning of ours. Since we're a twin lead now." Skwisgaar looked at him and Toki's little moustache twitched. "Toki and Skwisgaar, leads guitarists for Dethklok." He said and moved his free hand to imitate reading a headline. "Can put that on all the posters."
"Will there even be any more posters?" Skwisgaar said.
Charles was gone, their home was destroyed and their own fans were turned against them. Toki pulled him closer and they lay there, clutched together, as the first rays of sunlight danced on the water. They had survived the night, but what would the morning bring?
"Over here!" They heard a hood cry to the rest of the search team. Soon they were swaddled in fluffy robes with warm drinks and no questions asked. They returned to the hotel suite where three pairs of eyes fell on them.
"Sooooooooooo…" Pickels stretched the tension in the room to breaking point. "Breakfast?"
"Ja, ams starvings." Toki said.
"Yeah, I'll bet you are." Mumbled Murderface. Nathan grunted at him.
Skwisgaar scoffed haughtily before he went into his room to put some clothes on. He found a pack of Marlborough's on his nightstand and lit his first cigarette of the new day. A pile of guitar cases lay in his room, hauled off the Dethkopter. They must have collected his custom mades the day of the launch show and not had time to unpack them; A tiny nugget of good fortune in an otherwise unbelievably fucked up night.
He sought out one case in particular and clicked it open. Inside was the most stunning white guitar, glistening like snow on the Scandinavian mountain tops. Cast into the neck of the guitar, sitting just under the clear resin fret board, was the long, blonde and brunette four strand plait. The hair was woven delicately in viking style knot work. An infinity loop, with no end for one and no beginning for the other, forever entwined.
Skwisgaar smiled to himself, this would be his private practice guitar. He ran his finger down the strings and tried to think of a fitting name. "De 'Snow Falcon'." He said to the glistening white instrument. Never again would he associate that name with a dark part of his past. From now on, it would mean he and Toki, soring together.
The others had gone down to breakfast in the dining hall while the two Scandinavians got dressed. They followed after them. Skwisgaar closed the doors of the elevator.
"I've got a feeling shit is going to get worse before it gets better." He held Toki's shoulders and gently rested their foreheads together. "So no matter what happens next, if I lock myself away, you've got the key to come drag me back out." He hugged him to his chest tightly. "You've got to. Okay?"
Toki hugged him back in agreement. He looked at his reflection in the elevator mirrors and the Other Toki looked back at him. 'You know what? I think you've got this. See you around.' And he was gone. The doors opened and the two guitarists melted off each other.
The dining hall was filled with hoods who had turned one side of it into a tactical planning centre. When they questioned if their lords wouldn't prefer breakfast sent up to their suites, Nathan's simple response was "No." Then he ordered the hoods to go fetch the one thing he knew could keep hearts and minds together.
This is why when Skwisgaar and Toki entered the dining hall, Pickles was stuffing his face with a piece of French toast from a pile of Dimmu Burger bags. Breakfast burgers, breakfast burritos, pancakes, hash-browns, coffee, cokes and every kind of dipping sauce they had in triplicate lay waiting in the brown paper parcels in the middle of the table.
Toki bounded over like a spring foal and ripped the bags apart until he had a huge pile of buttery pancakes stacked in front of him, smothered in syrup, with something deep fried to accompany them.
Skwisgaar took a black coffee out of its cardboard tray. It was cold, bitter, weak, and absolutely perfect. He sat across from Toki at the table and sipped his little cup of comfort as Nathan and Murderface made their way in.
"Damn it, Toki." Murderface said when he saw the mountain of fluffy dough disks in front of him. "You better have left some for the rest of us."
"You snoozes then you ams lost." Toki said and upended another little pot of maple 'flavoured' syrup onto his stack.
Nathan sat next to Skwisgaar, took the hotel stationary pen and notepad out of his pocket, and then silently slid the list of names over to rest in front of the guitarist. Pelle's name stared back at him.
He glanced up at Toki with half a mouth full of empty calories, the other half being casually spat onto Murderface and Pickles trying to restore order to their breakfast. Nathan was right, no more secrets. He could trust them with his past, he had to. Skwisgaar took a steeling breath before he picked up the pen and wrote next to Pelle's name 'Ex. Boyfrend'. He slid it back. Nathan took it, read it, took out his reading glasses, read it again, then peered at Skwisgaar over the top of his spectacles.
"And it was, like, serious?" Nathan asked, trying to keep any judgment out of his voice by using his most professional, court room tone.
"I thoughts so." Skwisgaar leaned back in his chair. "But when you ams young, you tinks everythings last forever."
Nathan nodded sagely. As the only person in the band that had relationships spanning further than screwing the same groupie three times, he quickly pieced the tragic tale together of love lost and a broken heart. Skwisgaar was only just knocking at the door of 30 years old, so this must have been a first love, and that cut is always the deepest. Perhaps it had cut both ways?
"Is he a threat?" He asked.
"Honestly," Skwisgaar exhaled strongly and tapped his fingers on the little paper cup. "I don'ts know. Buts he must be deads now, so I guesses, we won'ts ever be sure."
Nathan nodded again and marked the name as 'deceased'. Then, after a moment, he added a question mark. He left the matter at that for now and started laying into a triple egg and bacon burger.
Murderface stabbed a plastic fork into the side of the last pancake. Toki counter-stabbed a fork in the other side and it turned into a mini tug of war. Pickles took a plastic knife, then with the wisdom of Solomon, sliced through the only thing the flimsy blade could; he cut the pancake in half. Toki pointedly shoved his piece into his mouth in one go, Syrup dipping all over his chin.
"Comes on, don't easts like you plays guitar." Skwisgaar said.
"What? Fasts?" Toki said with a full mouth and a flick of eyebrow.
"Sloppys." Skwisgaar said, throwing an eyebrow flick back at him.
Toki put his head in one hand as he chewed and his long sigh morphed into a little laugh.
"You know what, Skwisgaar?" He swallowed the last of the sugary sponge. "I really hates you."
Toki found the lead guitarist's boot under the table and pressed their toes together. Skwisgaar looked over at his dreamy little face with that ridiculous syrupy moustache curled into a warm smile. He leaned further back in his chair with his cup of mud-water coffee and lifted one corner of his mouth. They'd lost so much in one night but had found each other. He pressed his toes into their little boot hug and looked earnestly into Toki's winter sky eyes.
"Hates you too, Toki." He said, with complete honesty.
-fin-