Chapter 27: Good Isn't Good Enough

ARTIE

"And… cut!" Artie called when he thought that they had their shot for the scene. "That's a wrap on the Saturday Night Fever number. Great work, Mr. Anderson. Let's clear the set, take five, and then we'll move on to Dirty Dancing."

It was only their first day of shooting and they were already off to a strong start.

All of his actors had shown up on time for their call times, and most knew their lines, too. Sam, however, was the exception to that statement, but Artie was always lenient with him. He knew that Sam was dyslexic and had a hard time cold reading from a script. He needed to have his lines completely memorized to perform them to the best of his ability, and Artie's short film had a quick turnaround time. That was why Artie had scheduled Sam's 'Greased Lightning' number as the final one to be shot tomorrow night– to give his friend as much time as possible to memorize his dialogue.

Artie was proud of the inclusive set environment he'd created. That was something he intended to foster for the rest of his career– a safe space where his cast and crew could come as they were and be provided with what they needed to succeed. Artie was always ready with accommodations for whoever needed them, no questions asked. Nobody knew the importance of that better than him. For that reason, he always met everyone where they were and tried his best to help them out. Equity, and all of that.

Artie had strongly recommended that his actors watch the movie of the dance number they were assigned to. This was an easy way to understand their characters better and study their mannerisms. While Artie had been hopeful that everyone would take the homework he assigned seriously (or, if not the whole movie, that they'd at least watch the clip of the dance number they'd be replicating), he knew that he didn't wield the power to force anyone to do anything– especially when he didn't have the financial means to pay his friends for their time and effort.

Blaine made Artie's job easy, though. He hadn't needed to worry about whether or not Blaine would follow his instructions. The former Warbler looked just like a young John Travolta– right down to his Saturday Night Fever-esque body language– that Artie was certain that he'd studied the film, and it made Artie giddy to see what the end result would look like.

They'd shot Blaine's scene and dance number first that morning, and just as expected, he had set a high bar for the other actors to follow. He had clearly gone home and practiced his choreography, and he hadn't flubbed a single line during the lengthy dialogue exchange before the dance number that Artie had written for him with Quinn and Sebastian.

The stage was currently covered by the glowing dance floor prop from their disco lesson in Glee Club last year, and Artie was eager to see what kind of cool effects the blue and red lights would have on his friend's white suit on camera. His current plan was to shoot each dance number from two angles– straight on and from either the left or right side– so he could have a variety of shots to utilize when it came time to edit. He'd expected to run each number four or five times, but Blaine hadn't made a single misstep in his disco number to 'You Should Be Dancing', meaning they could cut the cameras after just two takes. Blaine was a professional, through and through, and now they were ahead of schedule.

"Blaine, please see Tina to have your continuity photos taken before you change out of your costume," Artie instructed his friend, who nodded, before heading backstage to see Tina.

Queen T had been generous enough to take on two jobs in her best friend's production. In addition to her on-screen role in the Roberta dance number, she was also a one-woman wardrobe department, in charge of seeing that everyone was costumed appropriately to fit their era and taking the continuity photos they kept on file, just in case they needed to reshoot a scene or dance number at a later date.

As most of the other actors worked together to clear the dance floor off of the stage in preparation for Puck and Brittany's upcoming shoot, Sebastian stepped aside and headed in Artie's direction.

"Mr. Director?" Sebastian asked, approaching the makeshift 'video village' that Artie had set up.

They were using the fancy film equipment Artie had received from his movie-loving father for his milestone eighteenth birthday this past March to shoot this movie, along with some of the school's equipment. Artie hadn't even needed to bribe Lauren Zizes and the AV Club to do the majority of the actual filming while he directed (that was a perk of having pull in many of the geeky clubs at the school). Only occasionally did Artie reach for his dad's hand-me-down vintage handheld camera to capture something he deemed extra important.

"Permission to speak?" Seb wondered.

"Permission granted," Artie replied, his attention focused down at the clipboard in his lap as he scribbled some notes from what they'd shot that he didn't want to forget. Blaine– knew lines and picked up choreo quickly. Scene & dance shoot approx. 1 hour.

"You couldn't see my boot in any of those shots, right?" Sebastian asked, gesturing to the big black cast he was still wearing on his foot. "And I didn't look like a stumbling fool or anything? I'm still trying to get used to hobbling around with this thing. Not the best situation to be in while starring in a movie about dance…"

"No, I don't think so," Artie answered, shaking his head. "We shot you and Quinn from the knees up for that reason. I'll know for sure when I go back and watch the footage, but I think you'll be fine. That's why we set aside a day for reshoots if needed."

"Okay, cool, thanks," Sebastian replied, turning on his good heel and heading off to take a sip of water and socialize during the five minute break they were being allotted.

"Hey, put some powder on your face, okay?" Artie called after him. Even though it was air conditioned in the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, it was still the middle of the summer, which meant that everyone needed to avoid looking oily on camera.

The pain and swelling in Sebastian's foot had gone down enough for him to ditch his crutches in time for the first day of filming, thank goodness. Working around his brother's bulky boot cast was a lot easier for Artie than working around crutches would be.

However, though he was on the mend and becoming more independent and mobile, Sebastian had still yet to return to his own bedroom. He was still crashing on the futon in Artie's room for the time being. Artie didn't know when Seb was planning to pack up and leave, but– to his surprise– he had grown unexpectedly fond of the other guy's constant presence. For that reason, he wasn't necessarily focused on rushing him out the door. Plus, Artie had bigger fish to fry at the moment.

Like his first micro-budget feature film.

Double check that Seb's boot isn't visible, Artie added to the growing list of handwritten notes in the margins of his script. This copy was growing more tattered by the hour.

Blaine's preparedness had put them ahead of schedule, but Artie wasn't able to relax just yet. As the captain of this ship, he had no choice but to operate it on a rather jam-packed schedule, and Artie was beginning to wonder if he'd bitten off more than he could chew. When agreeing to take on a role in his short film, all of Artie's friends had committed to a full week of production: two rehearsal days, two shooting days, and a fifth day blocked off for reshoots, if needed. But other than that, he couldn't guarantee that his stars would be available. To make sure he got everything done on time, he needed to be hyperfocused on his craft– and he needed his friends to be focused as well.

For the foreseeable future, Artie was going to be eating, sleeping, and breathing this production. He was working on a time crunch, affording him little time for anything else… including his weekly physical therapy session.

His therapist Kyle was, once again, annoyed with Artie's flakiness when it came to prioritizing his PT when he called to cancel his appointment again. Artie was adamant about the fact that he knew his body better than anyone, though, and that missing another week of PT wasn't going to do much damage. He promised Kyle that he'd go to the gym with Griffin and get a workout in, as well as use his standing frame later, and that seemed to satisfy him. At least for the moment.

It wasn't like Artie wanted to let down anyone in his life– especially the people whose sole job was to help him out. But sometimes sacrifices needed to be made when his life's big dream was on the line. If anything, that was the most important thing to Artie at the moment.

"You good, Art?" asked a voice from behind him. Artie glanced over his shoulder to find Ella looking at him curiously, her head tilted to the side.

"Sure, yeah," Artie lied. "Why?"

"You look… panicked."

"Well, gee, thanks, El. That's kind of you to say."

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm just concerned," his sister insisted. "You seem exhausted. Are you sure you're good?"

"Great, it's that obvious?" Artie asked, heaving a defeated sigh before capping his pen and closing his script. "I'm sure that seeing their director stressed out will have everyone super confident in the project they've signed onto." Artie ran his hand through his hair.

"No, it's not. I just know what it looks like when there's something up with you," Ella told him, stepping closer before sitting cross-legged at his feet. "Can I help with anything?"

"No," Artie shook his head. "You've already done so much."

Artie had hired Ella as his production assistant for the duration of the shoot. Her jobs included organizing craft services (handing out waters, taking coffee orders, ordering pizzas, and meeting the delivery driver at the front of the school), holding bounce boards, and wrangling the actors ahead of their scenes.

"I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed," Artie confessed. "'Imposter syndrome' is what they call it. I felt this way on the opening night of West Side Story last year, too. Like, what if I don't actually know what I'm doing, and I'm just faking it and hoping for the best? What if I'm just this huge fraud? Why is everyone trusting me so blindly? What if this movie ends up being a huge bust?"

"Artie, it's not blind faith," she insisted. "Your friends trust you for a reason. You've already proved yourself with West Side Story–"

"Beginner's luck?" he interjected.

"Artie! No! You are a talented filmmaker with a good eye for this stuff. Is that really so hard for you to believe? That other people see that, too?"

He shrugged.

"I mean, I love my movie and I'm proud of it. At least, I think so. But it's also brought up so much anxiety, new and old."

Artie couldn't meet Ella's eyes as he focused instead on wringing his hands in his lap.

"Because with each passing moment, it becomes more real. No matter how much I've believed in myself up until this point, there's still a part of me that feels unworthy of all of this. The opportunity to make a short film like this to submit to my dream schools, and the friends that are willing to drop everything to help me make it happen."

His word-vomiting tendencies were getting the best of him, and he almost felt bad that his sister had to be the recipient of all of this. But, after all, she'd asked for it.

"All of my friends have given up time during their summer to star in my film– which, yes, makes me feel very loved and appreciated– but it also adds to the pressure. People are counting on me. They've shown their belief in me and have encouraged me to succeed because they want that for me. But some days I… just feel like I'm only one person and all of my hard work or gratitude will never be enough."

Artie removed his glasses and attempted to rub the fatigue from his eyes before replacing them on the bridge of his nose. He hoped that none of his friends milling around during their break had seen this rare display of emotion from him.

"It's just one more reason why I need this film to be perfect. I don't want to waste all of my friends' time for nothing."

Watching his friends act out the words he'd written– seeing how they'd taken him so seriously and had faith in him– was both liberating and daunting. He was their leader and he didn't want to let them down. Being just good wasn't going to be good enough. He needed to be great.

It was a lot of pressure to be under, for an overthinker like himself, and telling his little sister about it had relieved some of the weight off of his shoulders. But not all of it.

"I know it may feel like that– like you're not deserving of all of these good things– but they wouldn't be happening to you if you weren't," Ella told him, coming to kneel beside his chair. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "You deserve this, Artie. This opportunity and all of these people who love you and have shown up to support your dreams. Okay?"

Artie nodded, managing a smile as he hugged Ella back. She may be young, but his sister had always understood him in a way many other people did not.

After breaking apart, Artie had to cast his emotions aside and focus. His conversation with Ella had caused them to surpass the five minutes of break time that he'd intended to give. They needed to get right back to work or else they'd risk falling behind. Couldn't have that.

"Okay!" Artie called everyone back to the stage, signaling that it was time to get back to work. "Quinn, Seb, Puck, and Britt– why don't we start with the scene right before 'Time Of My Life'. We'll film that, then we'll cut and run the dance number."

"Can we rehearse the dialogue first?" Sebastian wondered.

Artie shook his head. This was an artistic choice he'd decided on.

If you were an actor, shoot days typically involved a lot of standing around, waiting for your moment to shine. It was easy to grow cold during those 'off' moments, but Artie's strategy as a director was one and done. He knew that this couldn't always be achieved– especially when working with actors of all different capabilities on such a quick turnaround– but his goal was always to get what he needed from the first shot. It's when the actors were freshest, their reactions and expressions the most raw, and the scene felt less scripted as it played out on camera. Who cares if a line or two was missed in the process? As long as the actor was present in the moment and the main idea of the scene stayed intact, it wouldn't matter in the end.

It didn't take much to see that Sebastian and Quinn were the stronger actors in this scene. Puck and Brittany could keep up, but both of them were better known for their singing (Puck) and their dancing (Brittany) than they were for their acting. That wasn't necessarily their fault, though. They'd hardly ever been given a chance to sharpen their acting skills.

In Glee Club, the leads in everything had always gone to Rachel, a fact that Artie both loathed and– in the case of his West Side Story production– occasionally supported. However, this go-around was different. Artie intended to highlight the friends of his whose talents hadn't always been in the spotlight.

Even if the NYADA-bound starlet had been in Lima to take on one of Artie's roles, the lead in his specific production had soulful green eyes, a slightly raspy voice, and the ability to slip in and out of a transatlantic accent at the drop of a hat… okay, so he'd written the role specifically for Quinn. Who cared if her casting had been a product of nepotism?! Artie kind of held it against Mr. Schue for never giving her a chance at being the lead (except that one rendition of 'Don't Stop Believin'' while Quinn was secretly pregnant– they hadn't even ended up performing that one anywhere besides the choir room). Artie knew what Quinn was capable of and he believed in her talent– she was off to study psychology with a minor in theatre at an Ivy League college, after all! She deserved this!

Despite all of the excitement about having his girlfriend play the lead, Artie had been focusing nearly all of his attention on the weaker two in the scene. During their two rehearsal days, he'd often sent Quinn and Seb out into the hallway to run their lines before calling them back in to block a scene or for Mike to add them into what he'd choreographed. Artie had been so focused on the others that, now that Sebastian and Quinn were acting in front of the camera, he was mesmerized by what they– specifically she– could do.

So mesmerized, in fact, that someone had to fake a cough and someone else had to clear their throat to snap Artie out of his lovestruck trance and bring his attention back to the task at hand.

"Cut, cut," Artie called once he finally came to. "That was… great. Quinn… it was, um, you were, uh, awesome." He immediately grew flustered. "Alright. Dance number. Get to it."

Artie had chosen these two specifically for Dirty Dancing because Brittany was a trained dancer and could handle the ballroom partnerwork easily, and because Puck had muscles strong enough to hold a girl over his head. However, much to Artie's dismay, the big, iconic lift had been the issue over the last few days. It had been inconsistent in rehearsals, and Artie had given them the instruction to spend extra time together practicing it– so help him, God– before they were in front of the cameras.

They must have taken his advice, because Puck and Brittany nailed it on the first try, much to Artie's exuberance. A little victory like that one caused some of his worries to slip away, relieving him of some of the pressure and weight he had been carrying around all week. Little by little, Artie was feeling more confident in his ability to produce what could be considered his best film yet.

After Puck and Brittany nailed the lift from both of the angles that Artie had asked of them, Artie went ahead and did something uncharacteristic of himself after calling 'cut'.

He went off-script.

"Hey, can you two do me a favor?" Artie asked, slipping his handheld camcorder into the space between the side of his chair and his leg before unlocking his wheels and pushing forward onto his set. "Think you can nail the lift a few more times? I have some ideas that I want to try out."

"Sure thing, chief," Puck replied as Brittany nodded.

The big lift in this one made Artie want to do something special and different from the other dance numbers. He allowed himself to play around creatively, without even checking if he had the extra time to do so or not.

In one take, he had Ella push him quickly as he rolled alongside Britt as she ran– achieving a smooth, gliding shot of her leaping into Puck's arms. For the next one, he wanted to try to shoot it from below. Far below. He needed to get on the floor.

"El, will you grab this?" Artie asked of his sister, holding out his camera for her to take as he set his brakes.

She did what was asked of her, and Sebastian seemed to catch Artie's drift as well, based on the way that he'd also wandered over to his step-brother. The two of them hovered as Artie did what he rarely voluntarily did– got out of his chair in front of the others without assuring that there was at least a decent distraction holding everyone's attention while he did so.

Everyone's eyes were on Artie now as he lowered himself down onto the stage, fixing his legs once he was on the floor.

He hated the way that over time, as he'd lost more and more muscle tone and his legs had become weaker, they'd started to splay out to the side when he was sitting down like this. This insecurity had caused Artie to be hyper-vigilant whenever he was seated on a surface that wasn't his chair. The goal was always to look as normal and as casual as possible. Some days that was easier to achieve than others.

Some of his friends politely– but not discreetly– averted their eyes from what he was doing, while others let their curiosity get the best of them and didn't bother to look away. As he scooted backward so he was right at Puck's feet– optimal positioning for the angle he desired– Artie tried to ignore the way he'd called everyone's attention upon himself.

"And… action!"

The cameras rolled, and as Brittany and Puck did the lift one final time, Artie could tell that they were starting to tire out. Even if this shot turned out to be a total bust, he wasn't going to ask them for another take. He wouldn't risk anyone getting injured– no short film of his was that important.

As a general rule, Artie usually didn't watch back what he'd just recorded while he was still in the process of filming. He usually saved all of the reviewing for the editing process. He broke that self-imposed rule now, however, as he was antsy to find out if he'd managed to achieve the shot he craved.

"Yes! Yes! Gold!" he cried happily after watching the playback of Brittany and Puck's big moment. "That's what I'm talking about! We got it!"