Flint Marko nearly lost it at Alex as they went inside their latest soon to be depleted jewelry store. "Stop double checking, we don't have the time." He growled out. "You know what happens if we stick around too long."
"Yeah, I know, I know." His long time cellmate and partner in crime grunted. "Just don't want any pests looking over his shoulder."
Flint never had the best of luck in the criminal business, always looking for that big score. He swore that once he hit it big, he'd be set for life and be done with the criminal lifestyle for good.
That hadn't exactly panned out. He was no good at planning heists and O'hern wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the drawer on the best of days, or even the worst. So when word on the streets spread of an anonymous benefactor for all criminals, he of course jumped at the chance…but that came at the cost of over half the loot they stole.
It wouldn't be that big of a deal, just do a lot of jobs and slowly earn his way to Millionaire status, no sweat, right?
Wrong! Not only did they make little to no money that barely got them rent, but they slowly lost more and more due to a certain vigilante that had the worst mouth known to mankind! Every time over the last month has landed the two of them in jail, it was insane!
It was getting repetitive, and last time they reported to Hammerhead about their little bug problem…let's just say they got a little personal taste of WHY they called him Hammerhead. Flint's ribs were still recovering from all the fractures.
So tonight had to be a quick in and out job, grabbing all the cash from the register and anything shiney into a bag and book it. The most merciful punishment the Big Man would give them for failing was not giving them bail.
"Alright, we got the place clean." Alex came back out. "We should get a decent chunk of change this time around." God he hoped. They didn't even have enough money for a pizza at this point. In NEW YORK.
"Good, now let's scream before-"
"And if you look to your right, you can spot a pair of the far too common and intellectually impaired criminals in their natural habitat." A far too annoying and far too familiar voice rang from the ceiling. "Watch as they stumble in confusion and laugh as they slowly figure out that they're totally screwed."
"… before he shows up." Flint sighed. "Can't you just let us get away with this once, web head?"
"No, but I can go easy on your boys today. Don't wanna go too hard on my teaching aides ." The spandex man spoke, jumping down. "So … you want the first move, or should I?"
"I'm going to splatter ya into roadkill!" O'Hern made the first move and rushed right in to pound the little punk, something the big lug always did and always failed at. It was only out of respect for him that he never called his friend an idiot.
"Thanks for volunteering, O'hern, you get extra credit for today's class!" The masked bane of his existence called out as he jumped over O'hern and rammed his head through a wall. "As you can see, the meathead thug is the most simple of these creatures, his oversized and most likely steroid induced muscles giving him a severely misplaced confidence in his masculinity, and thus is easily provoked by the slightest agitation."
"Stop running your mouth for a change!" Another swing, which was easily ducked.
"Due to these biceps, he believes that he can punch his way through any of life's problems. Take special notes if you think fighting is the answer to everything, kids."
Shing
Flint quickly dodged as something small and sharp flew over his head. He didn't know where the metal star came from, but he acted quick, pulling out his gun and letting out a few rounds that Spider Man moved around somehow. "Next up is the backstage thug, wielding weapons that hide the very sad excuse they have for a body. Most of the time you can pick them out by their very overcompensating style of clothing."
"Says the guy in bright colored spandex!"
"Better than the typical standard mugger get up. Seriously, one look at you as all people need in order to know to lock their safes." The spider-freak quipped as he webbed Flint's fun to the ground. "Besides, bright colored spandex has many uses, such as distracting you while you trip over the wooden staff on the floor."
"What wooden sta…" Flint's face became planted on the ground as something long tripped him over and smacked him right on the ass. "OW!"
"Now as for the standard procedure for these two types of goons, does anyone want to take a guess?" Spidey asked like a dramatic little shit.
"Hit them really hard to knock them out?" Some new voice that sounded like an annoying kid asked. He would have looked if it wasn't for the web getting in his face.
"Not quite. You see, the best option is to use the meathead against the backstage thug through the use of literal blind rage. Hey O'Hern, you get a new hairdo? Too bad it's stolen, now you can't get a refund." Why did he sound really close?
"Why you little shrimp l…!" His heard his buddy run through, and going by the sudden three hundred pounds slamming against his back, he was able to assume O'hern missed…again.
"Not Shrimp, Spider. I know the red throws people off, but I'm a arachnid, not an arthropod."
"Speaking of, why red anyway? You know most spiders are brown right?" Spoke what sounded like a nerdy voice.
"I don't say 'friendly neighborhood' Spider-Man for no reason. Plus if a thug is armed, it draws their attention to me and off any civilians." Normally that would be good to hear, except Flint didn't want bystanders getting hurt either. He was a thug, but he had standards.
The criminal finally managed to rip off the webs on his face. "Who the heck are you even … talking … to …" He trailed off, staring at the four giant turtle men wearing masks. "... Alex … do we have a concussion?"
"I'm hoping so…I want the giant green men to go away."
"Yeah, sorry, I know we had this little intimate thing going on, but I got some new recruits onto the path of being a hero. Teaching them the ropes, said I'd start with something small before going for the big fish."
"And between you and me, I'm pretty sure I can hit harder." The one in red smirked as he smacked his fists together. "So next time I see you chumps, the web for brains here ain't going to get between us."
Flint processed the scene for a few moments, then he began to open his mouth. "No one will ever believe you." And slowly closed it. "Alright, after that you just tie them up with a note for the cops. Personally I use my webs, so make sure to pack plenty of rope."
"Yes sir, professor Spidey sir!" The one in orange saluted. "Aw man, is this what school's like? It's amazing."
"Yep, here at Spidey's school for gifted vigilantes, we strive towards a higher standard of kicking criminal butt."
"I'm still confused about something." The blue one spoke up. "Is there a difference between a hero and a vigilante?"
"Vigilantes focus more on street level crime big wigs usually ignore, and the cops shoot at them more than half the time." Spider-Man shrugged.
"So in other words, a thankless job we do because we'd feel guilty otherwise." The red one asked.
"And here I thought you'd be the last to catch on!" The spider patted him on the back-... Shell? "Now you're thinking like a true vigilante." Why couldn't they go back to the good old days? When it was just cops shooting bullets?
Leo made sure to memorize the information taught to him throughout the night. He would have written it down, but that felt a little awkward to do around this situation. "So, anything yet?" Spidey asked Donnie, who was watching a building across the street.
"Well according to the phone signals bouncing around the area, which have terrible security by the way, a lot of people have mentioned 'men in suits' around a few places. That combined with the empty laboratory across the street, and this is practically guaranteed to be a Kraang magnet that they'll definitely hit eventually." Leo's nerdy brother smirked.
"I am both impressed, and mildly terrified." Spidey noted. "A lot more effective than the cops."
"Did they not believe you?" Leo asked.
"I don't exactly hang out in the lounge eating donuts while shooting the breeze with them, notorious vigilantes and all that." Spidey smirked. "Only one guy didn't try to shoot me while trying to talk, and going by the laughter I heard outside the station, they're not willing to listen to Officer Stan Carter either."
"What about your civilian identity?" Leo asked. "Can't you just act like a concerned citizen?"
"Heh, yeah, I'd like to avoid being thrown in the nuthouse if I can, plus I need to keep the guy under the mask far away from the crazy as much as possible." Spidey groaned.
"Well I guess the badass persona only goes so far before it's just wimp." Raph joked.
"And I'm still waiting for a video of a soft gooey center to blackmail you with."
"Believe me, I've tried." Mikey raised his hand. "Anytime I get evidence of him and Spike together, the next morning my phone ends up in pieces no matter where I hide it."
"Don't you guys have a pocket to place your phones inside of your shell or something?" Spidey asked.
"Belts pouches." Leo answered, pointing to his own. "They hold more than just our weapons."
"Ah. If that's the case, maybe I can work on storage improvement. It took a while to get these bad boys compressed as it is." He gestured to a small silver part of his belt. If Leo remembered right that's where he replaced the webs.
"While I'd love to experiment with your webs some time, we finally have activity." Donnie's announcement got the group to ready themselves. Looking down at the streets, they saw a van, and rolling out of it was the brain gang themselves.
"Finally, a whole night of beating up jewel thieves has me itching for real action!" Raph announced, getting his sai's out.
"First priority, stop them from actually taking what they want this time. We don't need them getting another win after April's dad." Spidey tensed his hands, constantly twitching his fingers.
"Don't worry, this is my territory." Mikey cracked his knuckles and went to the edge. "Hey chrome domes! Up here, remember us!?" Their little brother shouted. "Fresh turtle up top! Ready to be fried?
They were instantly bombarded with enough lasers to force them to take cover, making them unable to actually move in close. "MIKEY!"
"Hey, I got their attention! If they're attacking us they can't steal anything, which is what we wanted, right?"
"Your twisted form of logic has a point to it, a very, very concerning point. " Spidey groaned. "Okay, we should divide into two groups, one draws the fire while the other…"
"Go in and grab what the Kraang want before they do." Leo nodded. He was the leader, he needed to step up and make the plans, and not rely on Spidey so much. "Alright, you and Mikey are up-"
"WHAT the bell is going on up here!?" A voice came from the balcony door leading into the buildings "What's this supposed to be, Halloween?!" The source being a fat balding man in a tank-top.
Well this turned from problem to disaster pretty quickly. "Correction, Spidey deals with the civilian, Mikey and Raph are on combat, me and Donnie go in." Leo, quickly in turn, changed tactics.
"Aww, and here I was getting my Kraang quips up and ready." Spidey tsked his tongue before slinging over to the man. "Excuse me mr endangered guy, you are in danger, this is your notice." He said as he attempted to grab the man.
"Get your hands off me!" The man yelled. "Like I'm going to listen to some freak in pajamas hanging around my roof with slimey green ham shanks!"
"Hamshanks!?" Raph got offended.
"Do you even know what that means?" Donnie asked as he ducked under a laser.
"No, but I don't like the sounds of it!" Of all the times….
"Raph, the Kraang!" He reminded the turtle as he tried to follow Donnie. "We got to go!"
That actually got his temperamental brother to listen…"That's right, you oversized spineless green cream puff, run off and listen to your mommy!" For two seconds.
"I'm not going to take shit form from an overweight pit-stain slob with a combover!" Raph shouted as he and Mikey had to hold him back. "Just five good hits to the noggin will shut that bozo up!"
"Heh, what are you going to do to me, circus freak? Toss me around with your tiny little salad tongs?"
"Look sure, as much as I subscribe to the idea of annoying Raph, this isn't the best time or place to do so. So if you'd just followed me down the stairs away from the pretty lights…" Spidey tried to get the mission back on track.
"And I'm not going anywhere with a couple of weirdos like you." The man stated. "Seriously, what kinda freak gets off dressing up in spandex and standing on rooftops?"
"Seriously man, you're making us want to help you less and less!" Mikey complained.
"Help me? Help me with what!?" The man shouted incredulously as a laser blast hit him right above the head. Turning around, they saw that the Kraang had made their way up the roof.
"How about the other freaks that are perfectly fine with leaving you nothing but a splatter against the wall?" Spidey asked sarcastically.
"Way to go Raph." Leo groaned. "Now we've lost our advantage on the high ground, thanks a lot."
"He started it!" Raph accused the man.
"Guys, they're firing!" Mikey shouted, ducking under a blast.
"Alright, no more nice Spidey, rough ride!" Spidey pushed the man out of the way as the Kraang tried to blast the both of them.
"Why did he save that jerk?" Raph complained as he skewered one of the orange heads.
"For the same reason why we don't let you get roasted by Kraang droids, we don't want bodies splattered across the pavement!" Leo counted as he sliced two of the bodies in half.
"Guessing that guy's off the friend list." Mikey noted as he wrapped chains around a pair of Kraang heads. "Not going to be inviting him over for pizza anytime soon."
"He's on the 'if I see him again, I'm going to do to him like these Kraang droids' list, right at the top!" Raph shouted as he stabbed one of them through the head.
"Somehow I feel like we're basically protecting that guy from you via distraction by Kraang." Donnie analyzed as he pushed one off the roof.
"Did you get whatever the Kraang were after?" Leo asked as he deflected another laser shot.
"Kinda been distracted trying to avoid becoming ash!"
"We're the distraction!" Did no one listen to the plan!? "We need to go down before-"
Screech!
Leo was cut off by the sound of screeching tires, and the van in question getting away. "Great, they're getting away, again!" Spidey swooped. "…which is what I would say if I didn't grab this thing!" Spidey held up a weird looking device. "It's a centrifuge, best guess is they were planning on messing around with more mutagen."
"Well at least that's one less thing to worry about." Leo decided to take the win where he could. "And now that we know what the Kraang want, we can be better prepared. Let's head back to the lair now and plan.."
"Hey, don't go yet, Kung Fu Frogs! The video was just getting good!" The man shouted from across another roof, holding a phone in his hand."
"… Is this how you feel when people call you an insect?" Donnie decided to break the sudden silence.
"All the time, sadly." Spider-Man nodded
"Alright, as Leader, I say … grab the phone!" Leo shouted.
"I do more than that. I'll pound him into the grease stain he is!" Raph shouted and raged. Leo was actually more than willing to let him on this one, except…
Errraaaaaah!
"Police sirens!" Spidey shouted as police cars began making themselves visible on the streets. "We can't stay here, cops have a nasty habit of shooting first and asking questions never to those of the vigilante kind."
Leo grimaced. "We head back and regroup."
"But he's right there!" Raph shouted.
"And innocent people will be attacking us." He reminded him. "We're leaving."
Raph looked back to the smug looking bastard across from them, growling as he stuffed his sai's in the belt. "Fine, but kicking that guy's butt six ways to Sunday better be top priority."
Donnie hooked up the centrifuge to his computer. "Alright, let's try and see the chemical compounds we're dealing with." Maybe if he could understand the base components of mutagen, it would help understand the whole 'mutation process' in case the Kraang used it on someone else.
"You do know that we're dealing with a cover blow, right?" Spidey asked him.
"I'm best when I'm multitasking, just talk around me." Donnie waved off. He's had a lot of practice given how someone's always talked over him during one of his breakthroughs, either it being Raph going ballistic on the training dummy, Mikey tripping over himself, or Leo going full dork with Space heroes. Also some time to stare at April as she discussed didn't hurt.
"I don't see the big deal." Raph growled. "We beat him up, take his phone, then ditch."
"Can't, that video would have been uploaded to the cloud by now." Spidey noted.
"Right, so we take a plane, go to whatever cloud he has it in, THEN kick his but." Donnie spared a moment to wack Mikey upside the head. "What, it's a valid option."
"See guys, when Mikey says something I agree with, that's when you know we've crossed the line somewhere in ridiculousness." Raph groaned, continuing to beat down on the training dummy. "Just five seconds is all I need to paint the walls with that greeseball's lard fill body across the city."
"We do not. Beat up. Civilians." Spidey stressed. "Not even the really annoying ones, and trust me, as a New Yorker, you're gonna learn pretty quickly the jerks make up about a third, maybe even half, of the city." Good thing they weren't in the ninja business to be liked… or be seen or noticed at all.
"So can anyone explain to the non tech savvy what the cloud is?" Leo asked.
"It's this place where you store data online." April added in with her charm. "You could get the phone, but he'd just recover the video instantly as long as it's up there and not deleted." She scrolled through her phone. "Luckily there hasn't been any videos uploaded to youtube or the like showing four ninja turtles fighting alien robots, so you guys still have time."
"Again, my point still stands." Raph punched the dummy so hard some of the stuffing fell out. "We know where the guy lives, we just go up to him and shake him until the tape pops out!"
"There's no tape, like I said, phones use flash mem…" Donnie quickly noticed his temperamental brother growling at him. "Shutting up now."
"The point is that even if we break his phone, it won't fix anything." Spidey spoke up. "We have to get him to willingly delete the video."
"Oh I'll get him to delete it." Raph's eyes were burning with fire. "Once I'm done dangling him over-!"
"Raphael!" The voice that mutant turtles everywhere feared made them all go stiff and freeze in place, every one of them hesitating to turn their heads as Master Splinter made his way into the room. "Not only is the secrecy of our existence have the likelihood of being broadcasted in high definition, your anger is clearly putting you on a self-destructive path."
"Really?" Raph asked, genuinely confused. "I always thought it was other's destructive…"
"Rapheal." Splinter repeated in a quieter but more disappointed tone.
"Come one, Master Splinter, the guys like, the nastiest jerk you'd ever meet…"
"You mean aside from you?" Spidey joked.
"We wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for you!" Raph shouted.
"What the heck did I do!?"
"Well if we're playing devil's advocate…." Donnie started. "You did just try and talk with him and leave him close enough to film us."
"I got him out of the way so he wouldn't be splattered across the wall!" Spidey argued back. "And it wasn't like Raph was doing us any favors trying to skewer him every five seconds, not to mention the fact I was able to follow Leo's plan in spite of the mess mr. attitude made."
Splinter tapped his cane against the ground, silencing everyone. "The past can not be changed, but the future can. Raphael, you and the others will get that man to delete the video … without violence." The man calmly placed a hand on Raph's shoulder. "Anger is a wildfire. Left to fester, it can destroy everything in its path, including yourself. Don't let word's linger, let it wash over you." Splinter made his way out of the room. "Like a river over stone."
Everyone watched as their sensei made his exit. "Wow, he really lives up to the sensei role, doesn't he?" Spidey commented.
"The best." Leo sighed. "Come on guys, we'll try this again."
"Should I come help?" April asked. "You know, normal human to normal human?" Well it would be nice to spend time with her …
"Probably not a good idea." Spidey commented. "If this goes wrong and the guy's still feeling film happy, your face will be right next to ours on a high-def screen along with an arrest warrant for aiding and abetting vigilantism."
"Good point." Donnie didn't want anything bad to happen to her beautiful face. "I do have something you can do while we're gone." He finished the program, moving back and pulling out some paper and pencil. "Write down all the red text that pops up on the screen. If I can figure out how they make the mutagen, then maybe it'll be easier to figure out where the Kraang will hit."
"I'm on it." She nodded as she began writing. "Suddenly getting a degree in science feels more and more plausible."
"It'll get you places, I know some lovely scientists after all." Spidey grinned behind the mask. "They're making great strides in genetics."
"Aren't the Kraang after scientists?" Mikey asked the vigilante.
"..Good point, gonna have to start patrolling around ESU labs more." Why was Mikey so on point today?
Peter landed next to the turtles on top of the rooftop. "Alright, he came up here last time, meaning he's gotta live in the building. You guys take the four sides and see if he has a window view. I'll try looking through the front desk mail and see if I can find his name."
"He's on the sidewalk." Mikey pointed to the streets.
"... Anyone else notice Mikey's really on point today?" Leo asked.
"Maybe breathing in something other than sewage filtered air is opening up a few more brain cells." Donnie noted. "But if that's the case, I might have to get the rest of us checked out for brain damage."
"Let's just get this over with or I'm giving someone here brain damage." Raph growled like the temperamental puppy he was.
"Save the skull cracking for another night. Like the Rat-man said, let's try to do this as non-aggressively as possible." Spider-Man made sure to remind everyone as they jumped down.
"...I swear to you it was like the freakiest circus act I've ever seen! Some weirdo in pajamas doing backflips next to Kung Fu Frogs, tell me that's worth something!" The man shouted into his phone.
"Hey, I mostly did front flips when you filmed me. If you're going to get the species wrong, at least get the action right." Spidey joked as he moved in front of the man.
"...I'll call you back." The man closed his phone. "Well, well, well, looks like the freaks have returned." They tried to move closer, but the man backed off. "Move one step more and I'm uploading this video on the internet."
"Easy buddy, we're not here to cause trouble." Leo raised his arms in surrender. "We just need you to delete that video."
"Oh yeah." The man raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "Salad tong over there looks like he's about to burst his head open."
"Look….we just….got….off….on the….wrong….foot….I'm….sorry." Raph gritted, looking like he was close to legitimately breaking the bones in someone's body. Spidey was considered the dude who would snap if angered.
"Do you freaks even have feet, or just stumps that look like elephants?" And the man here was not helping anyone in the slightest.
"LET ME AT-" Spidey shot a couple of webs, pulling Raph back.
"Look fine sir…"
"The names Vic, Freak." The man glared. "And unless your circus act has a cool mill, I ain't deleting nothing."
"A cool mill?" Leo asked, confused. Right, new to surface lingo.
"He's asking for a million dollars." Time to bust open the charisma. "Vic, vicky, vicorono." Spidey walked over, patting the man on the back. "If it's gain you're looking for, look no farther than this." He showed off the goods.
"... Ten bucks, two tickets to a science exhibit, and a gift card for Mcdonalds?" The man looked at him incredulously.
"It doesn't get better than that."
"The daily bugle would pay a decent hundred at minimum for just one pic of you freaks. This video alone is getting me three grand." Hundred at minimum-maybe he should be a photographer? Snap his own photos and get the credit, wouldn't be that hard to web up a camera here and there to work with it.
"What if we throw in … a ninja star?" Mikey pulled out the weapon in question. "Super cool looking, right?"
"I don't know, I got you freaks over a barrel here, and so far, you ain't making it worth my while."
"Oh, I'll make it worth your while…" Raph calmly said, which in the little time he's known the turtle, was an immediate bad sign. "I WON'T RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SMASH IT AGAINST THE PAVEMENT!"
"Raph seriously, remember what Splinter said! Water over a rock, water over a rock!" Leo tried to calm him down.
"I'm gonna grab a rock and slam it over his head until he forgets his own name!" Donnie and Mikey held the fuming turtle back by the arms. "After that I'm kicking his hairy butt all the way to New Jersey!"
"Dude, seriously, you're gonna cause a scene!" Spidey warned. "Last thing we need is someone else coming in.." {Incoming object} He grabbed Vic, jumping back as a truck nearly crushed the two of them. "Well on the plus side, we found the Kraang. Because I think I deserve at least one silver lining today."
The objectively bigger annoyances came out of the back, in all of their suited glory armed with lasers. "We'll get you a medal in observing the obvious after we avoid getting hit!" Donnie called out, twirling his bow staff and hitting one of them over the head.
"Oh, try doing a Ballerina twirl, it'll look hilarious on loop." Vic spoke, pulling out his-
"Are you seriously filming us as we're saving your life!?" Leo shouted.
"Oh yeah, keep talking, I can probably rack the price on this thing if I get some decent audio to go with it!"
"That's it, I'm creaming him!" Raph jumped at the man, pinning him against the back opening of the truck.
"Raph, seriously, NOT THE TIME!" Spidey tried to webb vic out of Raph's clutches, only for his webline to get cut by a Laser blasts. "Aggh! Webs against lasers are useless!"
"We can try working around that one of these days!" Donnie shouted as he ran up a wall to do a flip. "Maybe work on making it non-conductible first and build up from there."
"Oh yeah, that'll definitely work out the issue with webbing up an exposed wire-" {Multiple projectiles}. Right, not the time. "Just grab Vic and let's go."
"No way, I'm not leaving this action-hey!" One of the Kraang grabbed Vic. "What're you doing you freaks!?"
"That which is known as the evidence of Kraang must be that which is known as evidence that belongs to Kraang and to only those of Kraang." The droid threw the man into the truck. "The holder of what is soon to be known as the evidence that belongs to Kraang shall provide all that he knows of the evidence that will belong to Kraang." The truck began moving, but the back hadn't been closed.
"Oh, I am not letting this happen again!" Spidey webbed himself to the truck as it began accelerating, though how much he thought through the plan was called into question when he had five or six lasers firing off at him at once. "Come on, Vic, hurry and run while you still have time!"
Vic looked back and forth at him and the Kraang for a second. "Hm…nah." The man shrugged.
"Nah!?" He countered back, a laser grazing him across the back. Spider-sense didn't help if he was too close to be able to avoid it. "What do you mean Nah!?"
"Well you freaks clearly aren't going to give me the dough I want, and these guys are dressed real fancy, maybe I can strike a deal with them instead."
"THEY! WANT! TO MURDER! YOU!" Spidey tried to punctuate as he avoided more Kraang fire.
"What, like I'm going to trust the words of some street punk in pajamas and his pet frogs." He glared. "Syranaria, freak!"
"DON'T…!" Spidey tried to web him again, only to get met with a metallic punch to the face. He's been fighting regular people for so long he almost forgot what it was like to get hurt by a simple attack. "Agggggggh! That absolute moron!" He yelled as he fell off the truck, taking only one of the Kraang droids with him.
"The one known as the man of spiders should surrender to-" He grabbed the Kraang's head, ripping it off with one stroke. The little brain thing quickly crawled away, and Spidey was too livid to try and stop it.
"Spidey, don't worry bro, we're…oh, they're gone." Mikey said as the other caught up. "What happened to Vic?"
"The fat idiot chose to stay with the Kraang as my backside got cooked by laser." Spidey groaned
"I knew we should have cracked open his skull!" Raph shouted.
"Raph, head back to the lair." Leo ordered.
"What, no!" Rpah shouted incredulously. "I'm not going to be sidelined while that jerk still has the video-"
"If you stay, you're just going to be a liability when we try to save him." The blue turtle answered. "We can't risk you trying not to murder him in the middle of a Kraang fight, again."
"Come on, the slob's asking for it!" Raph tried to defend himself. "Even Spidey knows how much he doesn't deserve it!"
"Of course he doesn't deserve it." Peter glared at the red turtle. "But we'll save him anyway. With great power comes great responsibility."
"What, you got that out of the back of a cereal box?" Raph glared at him.
"No, it was told to me by…" Peter paused, his mind going dark as he remembered that fateful day. "By my Master Splinter. I never knew what it meant until it was too late. I was too angry to think clearly, and it cost me and an innocent man gravely." He turned around. "Like I said, when you can do something, and something bad happens, they happen because of you."
Raph and the other turtles went quiet, which was good. Spidey didn't want to talk anymore, too many bad memories. He started swinging, trying to find the van and maybe watch whatever building it went into. "There's a gas trail on the road." Mikey pointed to the ground. "We can follow that to wherever they went."
"Good, I need to vent some anger on some Kraang and soon." He groaned.
"Seriously, how are you so on point today?" Donnie asked the younger turtle.
"Just a part of my mad skill, brah. No need to overcomplicate it."
Vic wasn't an especially smart man. He was rarely motivated and did very little to contribute to society. He was very much a standard angry New Yorker, and he was proud of it. He never claimed to be anything else and went about his business without giving a damn about what anyone else had to say about it.
Now however, he had a big catch. Four freaky frogs and a pajama wearing psycho fighting guys with lasers. Surely that's gotta make him a lot of dough, right? Unfortunately, nobody believed him on call, so he planned on walking there first thing in the morning. At least until the suits showed up.
He figured, these freak looking triplets, quadruplets, whatever they were, there were so many, had some solid K on them, and he'd negotiate a decent price for the vid. That plan totally failed, as he was chained up to a chair, surrounded by large glass containers of some weird glowing liquid while the suit guys watched the video over and over.
"Kraang has finally secured the evidence that is known as the evidence that belongs to Kraang, and the evidence that belongs to Kraangs also contains footage that contains the enemies known as the ones known as the turtles."
"Kraang can use the evidence that belongs to Kraang to study the movements of the ones known as the turtles and form a better method of attack." What was with these suits and their repetitive speech?
"Kraang will get rid of all enemies of Kraang with the evidence that belongs to Kraang." Oh right, he should speak up.
"And since I gave you this, I get a cut of money, right?" Vic asked.
The suits looked at each other for a minute before going back to the phone. "We should send the images of the evidence that belong to Kraang to Kraang. Kraang looks as the younger human population says, 'awesome'."
The other suit nodded. "Agreed, Kraang's face looks good in this image."
A web snipped up his phone, pulling up to the pajama freak. "Well to me, Kraang's face looks similar to that which is known as Kraang's posterior."
"That what the man of Spider's knows as a quip is offensive to Kraang, and Kraang shall retaliate with lethal forces, along with what is known as a comeback with nothing the fact that the one known as the man of Spider's wears a mask to potential conceal what is most assuredly what is known as a horrific face that cracks what is known as mirrors."
"Ah, the first lesson I teach an alien is how to insult me, I feel so proud." As the spandex weirdo began jumping around, he felt himself be grabbed by those frog freaks.
"Don't worry." Someone in a blue mask said. "We're going to get you out of here."
"Without my phone!? Dream on you frog freaks!" His shout caused the guys to turn to him.
"The ones who call themselves, the turtles, have captured the prisoner of Kraang."
"Remind me why we're saving him?" The orange frog asked with a raised eye.
"Because we're not an idiot jerk like him." The blue frog took out those giant knives strapped to his back. "Just stay back and don't get in the way!" He pushed him further from the fight as he fell backwards, feeling himself loosen the chains he was tied to.
"You're not the boss of me, Froggy!" He yelled back, freeing his hands.
"We! Are! TURTLES!" A frog in a purple mask shouted as he whacked a few of those suits so hard in the head that their heads started to spark of all things … weirdest night of his life.
"Whatever, I'm not leaving without my phone!" He crawled out, trying to grab ahold of that pajama weirdo.
"For the love of…is your head really that dense!?" The spandex freak yelled as he held the phone high in one hand and pushed him away with another. "Do you just not comprehend when danger's right in front of you!?"
"The only thing I comprehend is your grubby hands smudging up my screen! Now give it back!" He attempted to tackle the pajama freak down.
"Get down you moron!" He was rudely shoved. "There are lasers everywhere, just stay away and let us take care of this!" The spider freak jumped into the air, shooting lots of webs at the men down there.
Seeing no one around, this was a perfect opportunity to sneak around and grab anything valuable. Nothing really stood out, other than a bunch of fancy looking beakers and all the spider's crawling all over the place, though that glowing liquid all over the place seemed important to the suit guys.
"As far as first nights go, doing this team up officially, I say we could be doing worse!" The orange one shouted.
"Mikey, how could this possibly be worse!?" The blue frog man shouted.
"Well no one's died yet, I have the phone, and there's not another…" The suits aimed those blaster things at the freak. "Hey!" The spider freak shouted. "Don't shoot, there's mutagen everywhere and nobody wants another Snakeweed on our hands."
"Kraang shall take what is known as that gamble and fire anyway." A laser went off.
"This is what happens when you teach the enemy how to quip Spidey!" The blue frog as the beam hit over the place, bouncing all around until it cracked on of the canisters, the one over Vic's head.
"NOO-AGGGGGH!" The burning sensation came all over him and oozed into his body, feeling like he was on fire from the inside
"NOT AGAIN!" The spider freak shouted somewhere, it was hard to tell, sound was warping around him and ringing with the sound of skittering bones. He felt what he thought was four fingers from the back of his neck, or was it back, he suddenly felt himself grow taller, and hairer, and rounder, and why was he able to look at the ceiling and ground at the same time?
After the pain finally died down, he opened his eyes … all four of them. He gazed down as his large hands, red and black, fingers flexed weirdly. "I'm … im a freak!" He shouted. "Look what you all did to me!"
"To be fair, you did this to yourself, you know, because you wanted to stay in a place full of alien robots and glowing ooze." The Purple frog noted. "Though the spider-thing I'm putting all on Spidey here."
"Hey, I barely touched the guy, and there's like a million spiders crawling all over the place." The pajama moron countered. "Plus he looks more tarantula-like than the spider that bit me."
"Oh no, not going to happen, I'm naming the spider-guy this time around, we're not going for something lame like plain ole Tarantula." The orange one argued. "How about … Spider-Bytes!"
"That's even worse than Spider Man." Leo argued.
"One, my name isn't that bad, and two, mine's simple and straight to the point!" The other spider-freak groaned.
"Feels accurate to me." Vic ran in, grabbing one of those suits with his new long legs, and with a single motion, bit the top half of his body clean off. "Cause this is what I'm doing to all you frogs and pajamas wearing freaks!"
"See, he likes it! Boom, score one for the Mic-Master!" The orange one shot a fist in the air.
"Thank you Mikey, the guy is about to kill us, but at least he'll do it with a smile on his face." The purple one glared. "I'm so happy he's gets to be happy."
He ran forward, trying to hit the freaks as they moved around. "Hopping all around, I knew you were frogs!" Vic followed suit, jumping with a newfound agility and energy he never had before in his life.
"Seriously, even with four eyes, you really can't say what's so freakin obvious, it's a wonder you didn't fall down the stairs every morning when you woke up!" The pajama one crawled on the walls and kicked him on the back. "And you may have eight limbs, but around here, I'm the wall crawling champ in these circles."
Vic was about to retort, but that kick may have hit a stomach somewhere, cause the next thing he knew he vomited … as his stomach bile went through the floor. He let out a grin. "Unfortunately for you, I pack more of a BITE." He focused his body, storing it in his mouth, and spitting at the frogs, the spider freak pushing them out of the way as the box behind them caved in.
"Okay I admit the acid spit is kinda cool, but if he starts shooting webs I'm suing!"
"I'll counter sue on the account you made me this way, freaks!" He began rapid firing at anyone he could see.
"Again, this was all on you, dude!" The Blue one shouted as he narrowly avoided getting hit. "Okay Spidey, from one spider to another, do you know if there's any weak points we can exploit?"
"Anyone have a giant boot to crush it with, or carry bug spray?"
"I got two bug repellents, right here!" Everyone looked up, oh right, their were four frogs.
Luckily for Raph, the gas leak didn't go away so easily, so after about ten to fifteen minutes of mediating in the sewers about the whole situation, he was able to track where the Kraang were pretty easily. "Is that Vic? Didn't think he'd get any uglier…then again, he's a spider now, and I'm guessing that's just your guy's default."
"Nice to see your slimy green mug too, tough guy." Spider-man waved back at him.
"Oh nice, the kung fu frog with the salad tongs!" The freaky looking mutant…the one that wasn't Mikey, grinned like an evil dork.
"Oh nice, the big loud mouth spider that's about to get his butt whooped….the one who's ass I have a free pass to kick across the country." Raph grinned, moving in.
"Raph, he has acid spit, side step!" Leo shouted out.
"Oh, so now the inside of the mouth is as ugly as the outside." Raph said as he took to sliding under Vic, landing a cut across one of his legs. "At least the furry look you got covers up the two tons of lard in your old body."
"Oh, it seems the weak link of your gang grew some barbs. Who knows, they might actually sting more than anything he's done all night." He let the man have it with his banter, not his fists. "What's the froggy going to do? Cry home and swim upstream like the little tadpole he is?" The words wouldn't land, they wouldn't fester. "Ribbit, Ribbit, Froggy."
They would wash over him. "Like a river over stone." He silently breathed in, and ran forward to deliver a strong blow to the stomach, sending his enemy into the air and against a wall. "Nothing shall move me."
"That's some impressive kung fu, Frog."
"Dude, get your ears checked." Spidey sprung from his web and wrapped those extra limbs together in a neat little bow. "They're not Kung Fu Frogs."
"Yeah, we're turtles." Mikey said as his brother's stood next to him. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"
"Huh, actually sounds catchy." Leo pointed his Katana forward, signaling to attack all at once.
"I will not accept that as our team name!" Raph shouted. He'd ignore enemy barbs, his brothers were still free range for beatdowns.
Even with that annoying tidbit in the air, once they were all together, handling this freak was as easy as stepping on an actual spider. For as fast and agile as he was, Vic was clearly not a fighter trained in any shape or form.
And the acid spit removed his own platforms just as much as it did theirs, which made the fact Spidey could stick to the air with just a hand more valuable. "Alright Spider-Bytes, how about you give up and we can take you to some nice doctors that can try and help cure you?"
"Like I'll go anywhere with you freaks!" The freak backed away, his extra hands still tied up. "You'll pay for this one day, I swear!" Before flipping over and shooting webs…out of his butt.
"Ugh, okay, I officially prefer your method of webs over his." Mikey shivered.
"Really glad that it's not organic for me." Spidey agreed as the man flew out the window. "…So are we just going to let a giant spider mutant get away just like that?"
"Do you really think there's going to be any prison on earth that'll be able to hold him?" Raph asked the web-head incredulously.
"... Fair point." They nodded. "Although now there's another mutant out there that we're responsible for … that's fun."
"Like I said, this one's kind of on him." Donnie observed. "We tried to help him, but he wanted to stick around. What an angry and sad little man he is."
"Every person we don't help is on us, that's what being responsible is about." The vigilante said, leaving them in silence before their phone started playing a familiar tune.
"The itsy bitsy spider?" Leo asked.
"Just for the record, I had this before I got bit." Spidey answered as he looked it over. "Crap, well, it's been a hectic and insane night, but I got to book it. The guy under the mask has a previous engagement he forgot about."
"AKA, you're past your curfew." Raph snorted.
"..." Spidey looked at him silently before webbing himself out the window.
"Wait, I was right? That was just a joke." Raph said. "He's the same age as us, isn't he?"
"Well he did sound young … but he also sounded a bit like Splinter with that responsibility thing." Donnie noted. "By the way, did anyone else feel like he may be a bit messed up in the head when he said that?"
"I just thought he was a chill dude that's a bit uptight like Leo, but yeah, feels like there's major baggage on that front." Mikey observed.
"Something to figure out for another time I guess." Leo sighed. "Come on guys, let's head home." No one argued as they did, Raph silently wondering on the way back what kind of mistake the web-head made to make him so quip happy one moment and stern and serious the next. The guy was just a cobbled concoction of contradiction.