A/N: **PLEASE READ ON AO3 if you want the full, uncensored version.** This chapter has been edited and truncated to comply with the maximum "M" rating allowed by ffdotnet.

Chapter 8

"Draco. Malfoy."

Hermione's hands balled into tight fists, her shoulders squared, her hair sparked, floating freely around her in nigh sentient waves.

In short, she was livid.

He wasn't even going to give her a chance to say anything?

Draco's own angry eyes snapped to hers, a stubborn tilt to his jaw. She had the abrupt realization that he was probably as terrified of whatever was between them as she was, but he had opted for the safer, less vulnerable, route.

That was just too bad. After everything she, they, had gone through, she was not going to let him make a declaration like that only to shoo her away like she had no stake in his wellbeing.

They needed to get everything out in the open. Now.

"I have spent the better part of a week trying to find the least damaging way to set you back to rights. I never would have done what we've done for a stranger."

Draco grimaced. "You're only proving my point."

"I. Am. Not!" Hermione bit out, "Do you have any idea how worried I was that I wouldn't be able to fix you? No, obviously not because I've only really just started realizing it myself. And for you to drop a bomb on me that you've been trying to get to know me for months and then summarily send me away is ridiculous."

"I tried to talk to you. You ran away first, so I don't see why-"

"I know," she ground her teeth, cutting him off, "I was overwhelmed, and I, admittedly, panicked. I just needed a moment alone to process, but I am sorry for leaving like that."

"Well, as I see it, you've been running away a lot," he said brusquely, glaring out at the water.

Her mouth fell open, and she blinked in his general direction. How could he know that, unless-

Draco Malfoy had a particular way of knocking the wind out of her sails.

"What… what do you remember now?"

"More," Malfoy admitted. "Not all of it. Probably not even most of it, but you trying to scourgify saltwater stands out."

His grin was wry before it fell away, and he still wasn't quite meeting her eyes. Hermione's jaw worked open and closed.

She cleared her throat, wanting to choose her words carefully. Hermione had never been one for tip-toeing around someone else's feelings, but on this occasion, she thought perhaps more delicacy was needed than her instinct to knock down his walls like an emotional battering ram.

"You have to understand, Draco, I couldn't let myself like you. Even once I figured out what I needed to do to help you. Especially then. You were my patient. You are my patient. I- It crossed a line."

Draco rolled his eyes, determined not to make this easy.

Prat, she thought uncharitably.

"But despite that, I did. Like you, that is. You were incredibly sweet. Oh, you acted like an abject terror to everyone else around us, but around me, you were sweet."

"Great, so you liked the brain-damaged version of me. Merlin, Granger, that does wonders for my self esteem. Why are we even still talking?" Draco groused.

He lifted a brow like he was telling her to get on with it. Maybe a little emotional battering ram wouldn't be amiss.

Hermione marched up beside him.

"Because, you idiot, I'm about to tell you that I missed you. I was desperate to fix you because the only thing I could think of was that last pub night. If I couldn't figure this out, that night would be the last time I ever got to hear your snarky commentary or see your stupid, smug grin that you get when you think you've been particularly hilarious."

She scarcely paused to catch her breath, determined to put everything out there before anything else could go awry.

"And another thing! I do like you. Present tense. Rather a lot. And if you like someone, you need to tell them! Especially if you intend to date them. I've spent the last six months keeping my distance because I thought you were just trying to be nice for Harry's sake. If I'd had any bloody clue-"

"Granger."

"What!"

The next thing she knew, she was grabbed by his ridiculously fast tentacles and hauled bodily into his bathtub.

"What the-" she sputtered, water going up her nose as she thrashed, "You knob! Now I'm all wet!"

"Not yet, but you will be," he rattle-purred.

"Draco!" she yelped, scandalized as his tentacle-y bits began exploring with purpose. Leaving him alone for a few hours, which granted him ample opportunity to figure out his present anatomy, may have been something of a miscalculation.

Her clothes were soggy, and she was somewhere between cross and hopeful that this meant they might finally be approaching the something resembling same page.

Even if that meant she was straddling him while fully dressed in a saltwater filled bathtub.

"Go on then, you were telling me how much you like me. Present tense."

Hermione swept her damp hair out of her face and smacked a few tentacles for good measure. They withdrew sheepishly.

"Stop trying to distract me. You can be insufferable, you know that?" she huffed, blushing.

"Really? I think you must like when I'm insufferable."

"I don't- That's not the point."

"Oh, then what is?" Draco asked imperiously.

What had been the point she was trying to make again? Oh, right. Convincing him that she might possibly want to entertain the idea of exploring a relationship with him.

"The point is that I like you, could easily be persuaded to more than like you, and I want to date you."

"That all?"

Hermione licked her suddenly dry lips and nodded once.

Draco breathed deep, the air filling with salt and spice.

"Guess it's my turn, then. Hermione-"

Her chest flooded with warmth. The way he said her name-

"I've more than liked you for a while now. I could have been more proactive about it. We probably wouldn't have this problem right now if I had been," he said, running a hand down his face.

That wasn't quite the romantic declaration she'd envisioned. But it also wasn't completely unromantic.

They had both now, in no uncertain terms, established a mutual liking that went beyond simple liking. For now, that was plenty.

"I'd really like to kiss you right now," Hermione blurted out, "but to be honest, your shark teeth freak me out."

His eye twitched; his mouth curled somewhere between an incredulous sneer and mirth, sharp teeth peeking through.

"Granger, you're ruining the moment." He settled on saying, planting a quick peck to her forehead, "but you're right. As far as teeth go, they're dodgy."

"I usually am right," she preened, "So I want to kiss you, and I will kiss you, but first we need to get you back to normal."

"Pragmatic witch. Right then, have at it."

Draco leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head, gesturing to himself with a tentacle.

"Wait, we're going to do this here?"

"Well, we can't just have sex out there in the open water. We'll drown." Draco's head tilted, his gaze swinging back to her. "Come to think of it, how did you not drown?"

"Uh…" Hermione's blush suffused her face and likely threatened to overtake her entire body. She was suddenly absurdly thankful she was still wearing her soggy clothes.

Draco's eyes danced with mischief as he looked her up and down. "Oh, so it was something kinky, then?"

"Uh. Definitely not," she demurred, aiming for and spectacularly failing to project nonchalance. "Maybe a little? I guess."

"Please let me remember the sex," Draco groaned, "I don't care if I remember anything else. The sex."

"Malfoy!" she said, vaguely affronted.

"You can't complain. You were off exploring all sorts of degenerate and depraved stuff with me, and I missed it."

Hermione pressed her mouth into a thin line. He was technically right that they were on slightly unequal footing.

"Well, we can always replicate a few things now," Hermione declared magnanimously.

"I want to start with whatever let you breathe underwater," Draco said in a rush.

"No!" She shrieked, her face burning furiously, "And besides, I'm not even sure if it will still work. We had to, ah, redo it several times before, and it's definitely worn off by now."

"You surely must realize that now I'm even more intrigued?"

"I'll tell you later. Otherwise, you're going to embarrass me into being out of the mood."

He 'hmmmed' in mock concern, "We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

His tentacles, which had been remarkably well behaved for the duration of their most recent conversation, began to slither their way up Hermione's legs again. She shivered as their suction-cup tips latched onto her skin before breaking away, sending sparks of pleasure dancing up her spine.

A little noise of pleasure escaped her mouth.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Draco complained.

"Well, someone dragged me into his cramped bathtub before I could even consider undressing."

"Guess we'll just have to rectify that then, won't we?"

He reached down into the sand and before she could say anything, her clothes were gone. Vanished.

"Draco! I liked that blouse!"

"More than you like me?" He asked innocently, grey eyes peering up from under his eyelashes.

Hermione's breath hitched as she took in the sight before her. Draco's lean and muscular chest was a sight to behold, and the way his tentacles curled around her thighs sent heat pooling in her core.

"Don't be a git, Malfoy," she chastised half heartedly.

He chuckled, the sound deep and rumbling as his tentacles continued their upward path, the scents of salt and spice hanging heavily in the air around them.

Draco gripped the sides of the tub, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"This is fucking bizarre, you know. It feels like I'm touching you."

"You are touching me," Hermione replied smartly.

Draco scoffed, "You know what I mean."

"I really don't, but, ah! Draco!" She screeched, startled by the headway his tentacles had made.

It was Hermione's turn to grip the sides of the tub to steady herself as two more tentacles came up to play with her breasts.

His actual cock was growing too, jutting up out of the water in all its rosy-fading-to-black glory.

"Hermione, have I ever mentioned hot you are with my tentacles on you?"

She barked an unexpected laugh, earning a smug smirk in return before Draco's expression turned speculative.

"But I wonder…"

Draco finally sank inside with a low rattle in his chest. Hermione whimpered. She was so full of him, and it was perfect.

After everything, her vision filled with white as she achieved pure bliss. Her eyes slipped closed as she came down and caught her breath, but the blindingly bright light was still there burning through her eyelids.

Wait.

Hermione's eyes popped open; the light was coming from Draco- he was glowing.

Her heart sped up- this was it! She was certain of it.

She tried to scramble out of his lap, but her held her to himself tightly, even as parts of himself receded and twisted and fused.

A small eternity later, his head lie panting against her chest, all of him fully healed and human.

"Draco?" Hermione asked, threading her fingers through his hair, "Are you okay?"

He laughed, an exhausted but deeply pleased sound.

"I just had the most intense orgasm of my life, thanks. Just give me a moment, and we can go again."

"Er, Draco. You're human again," she told him as he blinked blearily up at her, "You're back to normal. So, there's no rush."

He pulled his head back, and Hermione scooted away as he surveyed his normal number of human appearing limbs. Then he opened his mouth to run his tongue across his normal human teeth.

"Ah, well, that does explain some things."

He collapsed back against the wall of the bathtub, still looking down at himself.

Never one to not celebrate an achievement, Hermione crowed, "Now, you have to admit that the S.P.E.R.M.I. Protocol was a resounding success. I told you I was doing it right."

"Yes, yes, you're the most brilliant witch to ever fuck me better," Draco groused.

He looked so incredibly displeased that she was at a loss. This was what they'd been hoping for. Things could finally go back to normal, and they could move forward.

"What is it? I'd have thought you'd be ecstatic. I am."

"It's just not fair. I barely even got to enjoy having two cocks," he pouted. "And I still don't remember the rest of the sex."

He couldn't be serious, but based on his pout, he absolutely was. Hermione laughed, shaking her head and slapping his shoulder.

"Think you're ready to go again anyway?" he asked hopefully.

"I could be convinced," Hermione grinned, scooting closer to straddle him again.

A resounding banging came from the direction of the ballroom doors.

"Just leave it. They'll go away," Draco grumbled, kissing a hot line from her jaw down her neck.

The banging continued.

She sighed.

"Just let me see what's wrong," Hermione said, clambering out of his lap, and out of the bathtub. "I'm on holiday, so they wouldn't be interrupting us if it wasn't important."

"Just a moment!" she shouted to whoever was at the door.

Draco groaned dramatically, letting loose a string of choice expletives before following her out of the water and down the stairs, both of them completely starkers.

"You know, this isn't a bad view," he said appreciatively, purposefully slowing his pace to watch her hurry toward the door.

"Draco, not now!" she groaned, flustered.

"Hermione?" Susan's muffled shout sounded through the door.

"Yes, I'm here! Is it an emergency?"

"It'd better not be," Draco chimed in imperiously, as he sidled up behind her.

"Er- I know you're probably busy."

"Very," Draco said as he draped his arms around her waist, thankfully human teeth nipping at the lobe of her ear. Hermione swatted at him and missed; she could feel his lips form a smirk as he moved on to a new angle to tease her neck.

"Well, ah, it's just that Harry Potter was brought in to the hospital early this morning."

Hermione's heart stuttered.

Behind her, Draco sighed as he released her, grumbling effusively about the boy who lived to cock block.

"How bad is it? Why didn't anyone get me sooner?" She looked around frantically for her wand and something- anything- she could transfigure in to any sort of clothing.

"No, no, he's fine. Mostly," Susan assured through the door. "And, uh, it's not quite urgent, but it looks like he was also bitten by a kraken and well-"

Hermione froze and looked at Draco, unable to contain the incredulous laugh that burst from her throat once her brain processed what the other healer said.

Draco, for his part, sniggered.

"Oh, that idiot," Hermione bemoaned, once she stopped laughing and caught her breath.

She had been so preoccupied with Draco that she hadn't paid any attention at all to Harry's self imposed heroic tendencies.

Needed to go find something, indeed.

Of course he would feel guilty that she had yet to return Draco to rights. And of course, Harry would take matters into his own hands to find the original kraken in a search for answers, and end up in the exact same situation.

Had it been two days ago, this would have been the final straw for her sanity. But now Hermione knew for certain that there was a cure- even if it was the S.P.E.R.M.I. Protocol.

Then it occurred to her that this wasn't a problem she would need to personally solve.

Thank Merlin.

Harry had a wife who happily engaged him in an adventurous sex life (that Hermione had begged and pleaded to hear nothing about for years, to no avail.)

Hermione eyed the giant, mostly empty aquarium speculatively. Draco followed her line of sight.

"Oh, fuck off. Potter is not getting his jollies in my house!"

Lending the aquarium made sense now that they currently didn't have dire need of it. Hermione attempted to convey this with a Look. Draco glared back at her, his jaw stubbornly set.

The Look was not working.

"You're cured though," she said, quite reasonably, "and it's not like you need it right now."

"I'm serious, Granger! No one is having sex in my aquarium but me," Draco said vehemently, though he seemingly thought about how this sounded, and slightly amended his statement, "and maybe you… If you want. But not Potter. Never Potter."

She wasn't going to get anywhere like this, and she didn't precisely feel like arguing. She was a bit knackered after everything, to be quite honest.

"Fine," she capitulated, turning back to the door. "Susan, send Harry home to Ginny and help her set up a saltwater tank big enough for the both of them. They'll… figure it out."

"Ah. All right then. We'll do that. I'll… just be going now," Susan said, sounding vaguely non-plussed but eager to get a second angry kraken out of her hospital.

And once again, they were alone.

Draco took Hermione's hand, threading his fingers through hers.

"Well, Granger, this is the most arse backward courtship imaginable, and we probably should find some robes, but how about we go to dinner?"

"Draco Malfoy, are you asking me out on a date?" Hermione asked coquettishly.

He shrugged.

"I don't know about you, but my mouth tastes like I've been eating nothing but cut-rate sashimi for the past week. Might be nice to go out for a change."

She pretended to think about it deeply for two entire seconds.

"Yes, I think I'd like that," she declared.

Draco let out a rattly, contented purr. Hermione froze, looking up into his grinning face.

"Come on, Hermione, I'm starving," He tugged her hand to get her moving. "And I think we need to explore my aquarium some more later. I don't think we're done with it quite yet."

Hermione allowed Draco to tug her along. After all, there was much they still needed to explore. Together.

🐙The End🐙