The bois have honestly just taken the story into their own hands and each time I think I know what will happen in the chapter I'm writing, they just keep talking and taking it somewhere I never knew it would be going. Like this chapter. This was entirely not part of the original plan, but well. Have it, anyway.
Reference to "Cowboy Like Me" by Taylor Swift
~oOo~oOo~oOo~
"You are everything to me", Aziraphale said.
And Crowley smiled, smiled at him, and it was the most beautiful sight Aziraphale had ever laid eyes on. Nebulas being born at the dawn of time, rainforests sprouting from the ground in lush greens on the Third Day, stars sparkling in the night sky over shimmering ocean waves in Greece, even the rustling yellowed pages of innumerable books in the library of Alexandria - none of it could hold a candle to Crowley's smile.
"You mean that?", the demon said, his voice still guarded but so hopeful-
"Oh-" Aziraphale smiled back, blinking the remnants of tears from his eyes. "With all my heart. My love..." He dared to lift a hand, fingers trembling ever so slightly as he allowed them to trail over the little snake tattoo next to Crowley's right ear. "My dearest, darling demon-"
"A-Angel-"
Crowley's eyes fluttered shut, his breath shaky as he exhaled.
"Tell me this is real", he breathed then, like a secret whisper between them, like the world might shatter around them if he spoke the words too loud. "Tell me I'm not dreaming, angel-"
"If this is a dream", Aziraphale said, "I can see why you are so fond of sleeping."
Crowley chuckled breathlessly, and it was such a beautiful sound, such a beautiful sound-
"I thought I'd lost you", Crowley said.
"So did I", said Aziraphale.
"Don't ever leave me again, angel. You gotta promise me."
"I promise. Never again."
"I wouldn't survive it if you did."
Aziraphale could feel a smile spreading on his face, the utter awe and disbelief over this moment rushing through him as he shook his head to himself.
"I'm sorry, I know I really shouldn't be smiling about that, but..." He stared into the wide gold of Crowley's eyes, finding his own emotion reflected in them. "I just never dared hope I might be this important to you."
"Angel." Oh, how he had always loved it when Crowley called him that. It had always sounded so special when Crowley said it, and right now, that one tiny word held so much meaning, everything they both felt and didn't know how to express, an understanding that they were caught in this feeling together.
"My dear, I-" I want to kiss you. I want to hold you and never let you go again. I want to bare my heart before you so you may know all the things my mind doesn't know how to say.
Crowley's eyes were so big and shimmering with unshed tears, watching him so intensely, so focused, like he was hanging on every word from Aziraphale's lips, like Aziraphale was the most important thing in the world and-
Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon.
God, he wanted to kiss him so badly.
The desire was sudden and fervent, consuming his whole being as soon as it popped up.
Would Crowley let him? Would he want him to?
Was it too soon? Was the memory of their first time still too fresh, too tainted?
Aziraphale swallowed hard.
"C-Can I-" He took a deep breath. "Dearest, tell me if it's too soon, but-"
"Do it", Crowley broke him off. "Whatever you want. 'M yours."
Aziraphale felt a shudder run down his spine at those words, knew they'd be branded onto his soul for eternity now.
Mine.
What a thought.
What an impossible, improbable, incredible, absolutely and utterly magnificent, marvellous, miraculous thought.
"That's..." Aziraphale trailed off. He didn't have words. He just didn't have words.
"I don't want...well. To go too fast for you, as it were." Aziraphale shrugged his shoulders with a shy, apologetic smile. "If you need more time to learn and trust me again-"
"Angel." Crowley lifted an eyebrow, a smile on his lips. "I think six thousand years have been plenty of time, don't you think?"
"Yes." Too much time. Because I was too slow. "Of course, but-"
"You don't wanna rush me", Crowley said, nodding in understanding, "I get it. But I'm fine. You're here now. I'm fine."
"Are you-"
"Sure?" Crowley smiled at him encouragingly. "Sure as ever."
And Aziraphale didn't know how that was possible, after what he'd put Crowley through, but as he looked at him, he found the truthfulness of his words reflected on his face and, frankly, he was far too much of a selfishly indulgent angel to question anything right now, in the face of the demon's eyes sparkling at him with this much love.
"Well then, do you think..." His hand trembled slightly, so he reached out and took the demon's, playing with his fingers to distract himself. "Do you think that perhaps...um. We could try that kiss again?"
"You-" Crowley's hand tensed in Aziraphale's, and the demon swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Y-You wanna?"
Aziraphale linked their fingers together.
"Very much so."
He watched as Crowley's eyes flit over his face, darting down to their hands for a split-second before they came back to stare at him. Crowley's mind was working at the speed of light behind those eyes, Aziraphale could tell, but he just smiled, waiting patiently.
They had all the time in the world, after all.
"'Kay", Crowley finally breathed, causing a bright smile to curl the corners of Aziraphale's mouth. "Yeah, guess we could..."
The demon's eyes flicked down to the angel's mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his own lips, and Aziraphale was hit with a wave of longing so strong he could barely hold himself back from leaning in and closing the cursed distance between them.
This wasn't his call to make, though, he knew. He wanted it to be right, this time...needed it to be right - for Crowley, for them.
"Crowley." He put as much love and affection as he could into the name, pulling the demon just the tiniest bit closer. He smiled. "Would you please kiss me, my dear?", he said then, and oh- Crowley's slitted pupils blew wider, his lips parting-
"Yeah", the demon breathed, such reverence in that simple word, and Aziraphale hardly had any time to dwell on that before Crowley's lips were on his, soft and gentle and everything he had ever wanted.
The sound that escaped him was one of deep-rooted contentment, his eyes fluttering shut as he drowned in the sensation of Crowley's mouth moving slowly against his own. Their hands separated, but only so he could wrap his arms around the demon instead, pulling him impossibly closer, hands stroking down his back with all the tenderness in his heart - just as he'd wanted but couldn't allow himself to do back then. Now, Aziraphale gave easily into every desire he'd had, he could feel his whole body melting against Crowley's, moulding together like two perfectly aligned puzzle pieces - and wasn't that just right?
Wasn't that just what they were, what they always had been? Two sides of the same coin, conflicting only so they could complement each other, complete each other.
One of Crowley's hands travelled down his back, following the curve of his spine, and Aziraphale sighed into the space between them, the sound swallowed by Crowley's eager mouth. He cupped the side of Crowley's neck in his palm, his thumb tracing the demon's jaw, and Aziraphale wanted to press his mouth to that jawline too, wanted to learn its shape with his lips, wanted to feel its sharp edge with the tip of his tongue-
Crowley's hand flexed where it lay on Aziraphale's shoulder, fingers digging through the layers of his clothing and oh- he wanted them to dig so deep they left bruises, wanted to be marked all over by the physical proof that this magnificent creature loved him-
And Crowley's lips were still moving so carefully against his, their touch so soft, his hands so reverent, and he wanted that, too, he wanted-
Aziraphale wanted it all. Anything, everything Crowley had to give.
He just wanted Crowley.
The seal of their lips finally broke, both pulling back slowly as they breathed in the space they created, eyes locking as they hovered just far enough away to see the other's face.
Crowley looked just as dazed as Aziraphale felt, panting harder than such a chaste kiss should warrant, but the angel understood perfectly as he sought to slow his own racing heartbeat.
"That..." Crowley took a deep breath, lips slightly parted, lips that were red and glistening because Aziraphale had made them so.
"That wasss...", Crowley tried again, a little hiss escaping him, and yes, Aziraphale decided right then and there, that was absolutely adorable.
"Wonderful", he finished Crowley's sentence, unable to stop smiling.
"Yeah", the demon agreed, taking Aziraphale's hand again, and if something in his chest skipped a little beat at that - well, that was between Aziraphale's heart and himself.
Crowley looked down at their joined hands, watching as he let his thumb trace over Aziraphale's knuckles.
He swallowed.
"That should've been our first kiss", he said then, and Aziraphale felt a weight dropping in his stomach as the demon's eyes travelled back up to his, guilt and regret sweeping him away in their powerful current, because he knew it was all his fault their first kiss hadn't been what either of them wanted.
Because yes, Crowley had been the one to kiss him in the first place, hard and forceful thing that it was. But Aziraphale had been the one to turn it into something dark and foul, instead of the desperate, heartfelt declaration of real and raw emotion it had been meant to be.
He could feel his smile falling, his fingers winding out of Crowley's grip as he pulled his hand back.
"Crowley..."
"Nono." Crowley shook his head, cupping Aziraphale's face in both hands so he couldn't look away. "I'm not sayin' that to make you feel guilty, angel. I just meant that..." The corner of his mouth twitched in a tiny shy smile. "That's what I always wanted it to be like", he explained. "That's how I imagined it...when I imagined it...y'know."
~oOo~
"Oh." A relieved breath of realization left the angel's lungs, and Crowley felt himself relaxing as a small smile returned to Aziraphale's lips.
"You...ah." The angel's brow lifted curiously. "Imagined it, then? Sometimes?"
Satan, angel. You have no idea.
Crowley's eyes lowered to his feet, a hand coming up to rub his neck as he felt the treacherous heat of a blush creep up to his ears. God. He really was a pathetic mess when it came to this angel, and he couldn't even regret it for a single second.
"Ehhh." Crowley bit his bottom lip to stifle his embarrassment. "More times than I should probably admit to, honestly."
"That would make two of us then, dear."
Crowley's eyes shot up to find the angel smiling at him openly, just the hint of rosy colour tinting his cheeks, and he wanted to kiss them, he wanted to-
"Oh, yeah?", he said, like the idiot he was, but Aziraphale just nodded.
"Of course", he confirmed. "More times than I can recall."
And right there, with Aziraphale standing in front of him, lips still slightly swollen from their second (perfect) kiss, cheeks painted with the faintest hint of a blush, smiling at him - it hit Crowley that this was actually real. Aziraphale was back, had come back for him, come back to him, had chosen him over Heaven-
Because Aziraphale loved him back.
Aziraphale loved him back, wanted Crowley to kiss him, had imagined how it would be for Crowley to kiss him, and it was all so much and he wanted so much more and-
Crowley released a shaky breath, allowing the realisation to set in.
Aziraphale was here, and he would be damned (again) if he ever let him go (again).
"A-Angel, I..."
He wasn't even sure what he meant to say.
I love you.
I want you with me, always.
I need you to stay.
I can't believe you're here.
I can't live without you.
I want to give you everything.
I need to feel that you're real.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
His eyes watered so suddenly he couldn't stop a tear from escaping, rolling down his cheek unbidden, dripping onto the floor between them.
"Fuck", he cursed, blinking furiously to get rid of any other treacherous wetness. "Sorry. 's just..."
"I know", Aziraphale broke him off, his hand coming up to wipe the damp trail from Crowley's cheek, and Crowley reacted on autopilot, grabbing his wrist before he could withdraw, his eyes pointedly holding Aziraphale's gaze as he turned his head and pressed his lips to the angel's open palm.
~oOo~
Aziraphale's breath hitched as Crowley's mouth grazed his skin, and all he could do was stare wide-eyed as the demon released his wrist, allowing Aziraphale to pull his hand back in a slow, deliberate movement.
He blinked, needing to gather himself, and it almost looked like Crowley was fighting to suppress a pleased smirk, but perhaps that was just his imagination playing tricks on him.
Aziraphale cleared his throat.
"Would you mind...I-I mean", he said then, swallowing hard. "If you'd rather not, I understand completely. I'm sure you must be rather looking forward to enjoying the comfort of your own home again, by yourself, that is..."
"Aziraphale?"
He tried not to look too hopeful when he met Crowley's eyes. He really did try.
"Yes, dear?"
"What is it you wanna ask me?"
"Oh...uhm." Dear Lord, why was this so hard to ask? It wasn't like he hadn't just declared his undying love for the demon before him, surely, asking said demon if he'd be allowed to stay over wasn't that big of a deal, wouldn't even be the first time he stayed here, there had been that night before they switched bodies, after all, and-
"I just wanted...wanted to ask- i-if you'd mind it terribly if I stayed?"
There. That could have been done more gracefully, but he'd take it.
"Here, I mean", Aziraphale clarified quite unnecessarily. "For the night. N-No ulterior motive, naturally!", he hurried to add, completely and utterly withholding the fact that he would have absolutely no complaints if Crowley...well, was to initiate...something of the sort.
"I just meant to ask because- you see..." Aziraphale clasped his hands together in front of himself. "I feel rather disquieted at the thought of being parted from you so soon after...it all went down, as it were. I must admit that having to let you out of my sight at the moment fills me with quite some discomfort. So I just thought-" He shrugged his shoulders, attempted a smile. "Perhaps...if you wouldn't mind... But please, feel free to decline, you really mustn't, I'm just being silly, really, I-"
"Aziraphale."
"O-Or you could", he kept babbling. "Come stay at mine, that is. If you'd rather-this space has always been...your private quarters, rather, and I- I mean, and if it's not too much trouble, of course."
"Angel."
"Though Muriel might still be there I suppose, but I'm sure that could be sorted-"
"Angel!"
"Hm?"
Aziraphale's eyes flit up to find Crowley smiling at him, his expression calm and...dare he say it, pleased.
"I wouldn't mind", Crowley said. "If you stayed. Wouldn't mind at all."
A weight fell from Aziraphale's shoulders, much heavier than he'd even realised it to be before it was gone.
"Oh, really?" He gave the demon a brilliant smile. "Well, that's a relief."
"Yeah, I mean..." Crowley shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "Truth is, I don't really like the thought of letting you go so soon either, so...yeah."
"Oh." Aziraphale felt himself blushing, his eyes flitting down to his fidgeting hands for a moment. "Well. Jolly good, then."
Could he dare ask more? Could he allow himself to hope Crowley might...
"I-I know you enjoy sleeping", Aziraphale said, "I could- I mean. I can take the couch, perhaps. Be out of your way, but still close enough to-" To feel your presence, to know you're there, to ease my mind. "It would be no trouble."
Except that he'd be awake all night, aching with the longing to be closer, wondering how it would feel to have Crowley next to him, to be allowed to watch him in his sleep, to feel his warmth, maybe to hold him, even-
"Don't be daft, angel."
Aziraphale was startled from his thoughts, staring at the demon in surprise.
"No, wait. Actually. Lemme rephrase that." Crowley cleared his throat. "Sorry, I meant...of course, if you'd prefer that, that's...fine, yeah. I just meant-"
Crowley looked up at the ceiling, flexing his hands, long fingers stretching and curling.
"I...do own a proper bed, though, obviously", the demon said, pressing his lips together. "And, if you wanted to, that is, I...ah." His eyes flit to the side, then back to Aziraphale. "I'd be happy to offer you a place there as well, is all I'm sayin'. If you'd like. So...yeah. That."
Crowley glanced at him hesitantly, visibly nervous, and oh, what a wonderful revelation that was to find the demon just as ridiculously in his head about this as Aziraphale had scolded himself for being.
"Are you sure?", Aziraphale asked, because he had to ask, even though everything in him was screaming to accept the offer and pull Crowley along to his bedroom right on the spot. "I wouldn't want to intrude-"
"Sssure." That little hiss again. Aziraphale was becoming quite fond of that already.
"I'm sure, yeah", Crowley said, and Aziraphale couldn't hide his delight any longer.
"Oh, well then." He aimed for nonchalance, missed by about a mile since he couldn't dim the giddy smile on his face. "If it really is no trouble, my dear, I would like that. Very much", he added, watching as the demon finally relaxed, giving him a smile in return.
"Great." Crowley held out his hand. "Come on, then."