Run: .GIFocalypse
Chapter 3: Ocean or Lake? Part 1: The Best Water
Beginning AN:
In case you only saw the original 2-2 prior to its update in 2022, please look back, I gave it a proper ending and such. This chapter, of course, continues directly on from that.
Again, I'm trying not to make these only be out on 9/22. Because like, I have at least 34 planned total chapters of this. I don't want this to take thirty years. But I've been struggling to write this compared to the original.
The moment they came out and fell in to the shallow waters, Wendy sighed.
"I really wish I packed my swimsuit for this..." She said.
"Hey, I actually packed my swimsuit!" Said Soos. "Wanna borrow it?"
"No! For a lot of reasons!"
"I also packed a scuba suit! And gas masks! And a lot of other things! Snacks too, but Kathody said we were free to eat whatever we want from her. Except her 'funny-shaped cakes.' I wonder why..."
"I got two theories, but one answer will gross you out and the other will really gross you out." Wendy told him.
Well, the four all got on the boat, Wendy ignoring comments from Soos throughout.
Alright, the interface was simple enough. It of course worked a lot like a boating segment would in a video game. Pull a stick one way, the boat moved that way. Pressing a button sped it up. So, of course Mabel would have that button held down while Soos decided to take the helm and push on forth.
Yeah of course Searah would see that. Especially with the yellow ship standing in stark contrast with the blue lake around them.
Wait... blue lake? Or blue ocean? Well, obviously a lake would make more sense because of the size. But still, the usual sort of 'underwater worlds' were in oceans. Not lakes.
Anyway, Searah emerged from the water in front of them, floating on the front of the ship, her speed matching theirs perfectly.
"Dipper. We finally meet." She said. "I've heard you were many things."
"...Were any of them good?" Dipper asked.
"In my opinion, no."
He shuffled back.
"Hey!" Mabel said. "Why do you have a problem with Dipper specifically?"
"See Dipper?" Searah asked. "If you meet Dove, I don't think you'll be defending Mabel from her the same way she's doing to you right now. Anyway, while you've finally earned your way over here, you still wouldn't believe it's possible for a team like us to change the world. You and Wendy aren't optimistic enough. You believe the future is destined to turn for the worse."
"Well... um... I've actually... been to the future, and um..."
"So has Mabel and that did not shatter her awe-inspiring optimism. Right, originally, you skipped your way past a proper showdown with Kathody. But now, you're carrying something Kathody made. An anti-me weapon. Which also feels like cheesing our game."
"That's right!" Soos said. "Kathody's on our side now!"
"I sure am!"
All four of the humans were surprised to hear that, coming from Dean Kathody herself.
"Kathody!" Said Soos. "I thought you were supposed to stay in the desert!"
"Yes, supposed to." She laughed mischeviously. "But here's the thing, I like these guys now. So I'm going to be aiding them on their quest! I'll be by their side, through thick and thin, and-"
Searah shot a stream of blue electricity in to the waters below, where it traced a shape that went under the boat and pooled together right behind it. There, a blob rose up, with the deep blue electricity being used as a sort of skeleton holding it together. It formed a tentacle-like shape, which wrapped itself around Kathody.
"Oops! I guess not!"
Those were what Kathody said before the water-tentacle pulled her off the boat and dragged her deep below.
"NO!" Shouted Soos. "She turned good!"
"She's fine!" Explained Searah. "I don't want to kill her. Even if I did, I wouldn't hear the end of it. From all the other deans. No, I placed her in my prison. Deep in the depths of my water paradise city."
"Take us to her!" Wendy shouted. "I hate her, but she could really help us by zapping things!"
Searah just laughed. "You do not want to be placed in my prison! It's completely inescapable!"
"We escaped a lot of inescapable things." Dipper said.
Soos helpfully recapped: "Like the arcade cabinet I was trapped in, also there was the maze I got lost in, and that one time I was locked in a crate by an evil witch..."
"Not what I had in mind, but those sound like some good examples. I'll take your word for it." Dipper said. "Searah, we'd like you to take us there."
"You - all four of you in general, you Dipper especially - have to earn that!"
"Earn being taken to prison?" Asked Wendy. "What is even going on here? I never thought I'd hear anything like that."
"No, you'd be taken to your own custom dungeons. That I put less effort in to making secure. Since you lack Kathody's powers. That was what I meant by needing to 'earn.'"
"We technically beat her in a fight. Does that count?" Dipper asked.
"No. And just as a reminder, if I have you captive, I win. .GIFfany will give me the Construction Site to make my own, perfected, ideal water world."
"...Why do you want a water world?" Asked Wendy. "I thought this place would at least make more sense than the desert, but no. At least in the desert, we can walk around."
"Hah! Like I'd expect you to understand how important this is! I'm not going to waste my breath telling you why making a giant water treatment and creation factory is, objectively, the most important domain, I'll send you all on the tour!"
Then something happened that none of the four considered: Searah shot more of her electricity in to the water, and it rose to form a massive wave.
"Oh, right." Dipper said. "She controls water, and we're in a huge pool of the stuff. We might as well be on one giant arm of hers-"
Yeah more electricity briefly appeared through the water, and a vortex suddenly formed around the boat, sucking them all down to a tube. Searah formed a tunnel, keeping the gang from being submerged in water, but also violently sent their boat on a trip crashing and sloshing about.
"I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE WORLD'S LARGEST AND SCARIEST TOILET!" Soos shouted.
Suddenly, they stopped. The 'altered water' just stayed in place, looking like a large bubble. They were still far under water though - so deep that swimming to the surface wasn't an option. Not that it would do much good, because there was no way any of the four could swim over to the buildings still.
"Urgh." They heard Searah say. It sounded like the voice came from a specific spot in the bubble, but she wasn't there at all. Judging from a brown and blue dot above, she was still floating atop the water surface. "Why did you have to compare my creations to the T-word?"
"...Because it kinda is? Or, was?" Asked/said Soos. "I mean, it swirled around and had that... whoosh shound."
"That's a whirlpool! Don't you know what those are?"
"I mean, I do! Uh... I don't think I've ever seen one in real life. Let alone one that big."
"Well of course you haven't seen one that big! I'm a record setter! A record breaker! That is the will and goal of Domain 3! I... don't have time for this. I'll find a method without such an association soon... oh, try comparing THIS to a toilet!"
The 'bubble' moved towards one of the central buildings in the city, shooting them all forward at lightning speeds. It was an oval of air going through the waters, to a giant circular opening, and then quickly raising so that they appeared in...
There seemed to be a large pool in the otherwise not-underwater room that they ended up in. Searah appeared shortly after, zipping through the sapphire-colored metal walls in her electric form and soon appearing in her full physical form.
"Hello, humans. I'll have you know that as I have technically captured you, I have won the .GIFocalypse and will be gifted with the Construction Site to make whatever I want."
"We're not captured yet!" Dipper quickly shouted. "We can... uh... swim out?"
"This was perfectly crafted to be just the right height so that you would not be able to swim out of it. For Wendy, I mean. Who I believe is the best swimmer."
"That sounds about right." Dipper said.
"Wendy, you will start drowning just as your fingers peak over the water's surface, which will be so devillishly trollish. It's part of a form of practice that I find very important. Maximum efficiency."
"If we try to get out, and we do, does that mean we're not captured?" Wendy asked.
"...By definition, yes. But I'd like to see you try! I have crafted this chamber to be your ultimate limit!"
Wendy just dove in the water. Searah looked at her wrist, and in blue sparks, a watch appeared on it.
"...You know how long she can hold her breath?" Asked Dipper. "I mean, I would say that that's creepy, but compared to the three main .GIFfanys we knew before, that's almost par for the course."
"No. I know the average human breath. And then I multiply it. You see, math determines everything, including a person's limits. Wendy has a certain number of coefficients. You all do. And for the record, yours are the lowest."
"H... how did you know that?" Soos asked.
"She doesn't." Dipper said. "This all sounds made up."
"Really? Predicting a person's physical attributes based on data is where you of all people draw the line, of all places? You, who have seen Gnomes with rainbow puke, almost got killed over a portal to other dimensions, and fought with a real life demon twice?"
"..." Dipper had to pause while he thought of a retort. "Not the point."
"In fact, you could watch right now if you want."
"What?"
"Cameras. All domains except for Rose's 'Anti .GIFfany Zone' have cameras. Even Sandy and her no-technology badlands do as well..." Searah chuckled, "They're just... weird and loophole-y. And hypocritical. Honestly, I've never wanted to touch that place. Screw Domain 4- WHAT. NO!"
She snapped her fingers, and a screen in the room that nobody noticed had turned on, showing Wendy breaking the surface of the water. She looked utterly exhausted, and barely able to tread, but she made it.
"NO. NO. NO."
"Oh dude! Oh dude!" Wendy shouted, gasping. Sounding more stressed than any of the others had ever heard from her. "You're brutal! I already hate you more than Kathody! And that's saying a LOT! P-please I can't make it to the top of... wait... hang on..."
She looked around for anything that might help- ah! There! A small chunk of metal drifted about. It looked like it was a broken off piece of pipe. Wendy grabbed a hold, thankfully it could keep her up, and she held on to it for dear life.
It looked like it was drifting over to a building that breached the surface of the domain's gigantic pool, so 'land' at least.
Wendy's thoughts about making landfall were cut off when Searah zipped through the vast ocean and appeared near her, again floating above the water.
"Where did you get that from?" Searah asked.
"No clue. It drifted in."
"You didn't break it from a building, did you?"
"Nope. I'm not a super-human."
"AAARRRRRHHHHHH! Then one of my students screwed up! I'm going to have to investigate! Do whatever you want in the meantime. Tell Dipper, Mabel, and Soos that they can too."
"How? They're like ninety feet underwater."
"Well you clearly know more about your own limits and my prison design than me, so you figure it out."
And Searah disappeared under the 'sea' after that.
Wendy looked around. Well... a building was close, and she was drifting towards it. If she could just stay put, it'd take her there soon...
Yeah. In no time at all, her ride bumped against it. Time to disembark.
Judging from the signs, the building Wendy was on was some kind of gym. And... judging from giving a look around having been in the heart of the city proper, there were plenty of those around. So, water woman was a jock. Made sense in retrospect with the whole swimmer theme.
Well, Wendy was about to see how the .GIFfanys worked out. Oh, there were plenty of doorways on the roofs that lead in. Seemed like a design feature of that weird system.
The short answer, it was like regular humans, just a lot faster. At least for the physical dark magic bodies.
The floor Wendy dropped on in particular was loaded with .GIFfanys in workout gear doing some kind of rapid jog that shifted to handstands and kicking that shifted to pushups that shifted to them taking out .GIFfinium poles, jabbing them in the floor, vaulting on them, and doing handstands. They were in near-perfect synch, and nearly-perfectly did that. And they all moved in blurs as well.
"Oh! Okay, take five!" Said the... oh no. Well, the coach of that particular area. She had tons upon tons of water bottles stacked behind her. And she herself was a copy that was blue all over. Almost... partly translucent? Like she was made out of water. And she wore typical workout gear; sweatpants, a tank top, the works. Her entire outfit was black.
She turned to Wendy, and all the eyes followed after her.
"Uh... hey guys?" Wendy asked.
"Oh boy." She said. "You're that 'wasted potential' the Dean warned us about."
"Wasted potential?" Asked Wendy. "I've been called a lot of things, but that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me. I've even been told I have 'too much' potential twice in my life. Still don't get it. Look, get my friends out of their prison, okay? I took the dean's stupid challenge and now I'm out, so I guess that means like, they're free too?"
"...You'll have to talk that out with Searah. I rank very high, but not that high."
"Can't you relay something?"
"I could try but I really don't want to. Only important messages get to the dean. Well, someone like Searah. She's much."
Wendy rolled her eyes. "No, Kathody was much."
"I actually understand what you mean. And I agree with everything but the 'no' part. The thing is, Searah's 'much' in a different way. She... thinks she can see the future, basically, and whenever she's proven wrong, well... that's something you're about to find out."
"What do you mean?"
"She wasn't testing to see if you could swim all the way up. She would have waited for you to collapse, swooped in, and brought you back to the cell, then confirm with .GIFfany that her efficient prison system worked after all, and would use that as the basis for the mega-water utopian city she would turn the Construction Site in to."
"If that means more swimming, I don't think I can ever swim again in my life. That was brutal." Wendy sighed. "But hey, it's nice knowing I wouldn't have drowned there... sure wished someone told me that earlier. For the moral support."
"Don't worry, Domain 6 will be better with the water obstacles. Just... keep that in mind for when you go to Domain 5. If you get past Searah and make it that far."
"Stop trying to scare us. That was Kathody's bit, and it's over now. And speaking of Kathody, where is she?"
"You mean you didn't come across any of the giant billboards and messages Dean Searah has out cheerfully over-explaining her Kathody prison and the exact spot it's in? Tallest building, her office, it's below that. Near the underside of this entire metal island, actually. You know about the offices, right?"
"If you're talking about those .GIFfinium towers, we've been through Rose's and Kathody's. Kathody's... had some really awkward stuff for her girlfriend that she tried to hide."
"Oh lord trust me, Searah's is worse."
"Are you even on her side? You don't sound like it."
"Oh, no I am not. Except for the part where business matters and taking the most successful goal, that sort of thing. I'm doing that by working under her. She knows we disagree on a lot so this isn't a secret, but the core thing is that I have hopes that being under her wing will bring me farther than working under the other deans would have. That means I should help Searah by capturing you and getting me a high spot on the Construction Site, but that's not what she wants."
"So you're putting this much effort to be with someone you hate and disagree with on a core level?"
"Yeah. It's called having a job."
Touche. Wendy felt that.
"Are you gonna free my friends or not?!"
"Even if I wanted to, and I don't, I can't. Searah's got control over all the locks. I'd want to fight her, but I just said why I work for her and so I won't fight in order to keep this job."
The instructor then looked at her gym. "Alright everyone, water break."
They groaned and complained in protest.
"Brought to you by Searah's Perfect Filtration! Need to get the right ions in your water? Tired of that last 0.004% of pollutants? This filter is guaranteed to sort out any last pesky molecules that we don't want through its smart AI sorting system! Not sapient smart, like we are, but intelligent enough to know what should and should not go in your body!"
"You're kidding." Said Wendy. "Spoken ads in a gym?"
"Searah's Perfect Filtration! The essential perfect water purifier for your drink! You could even filter ocean water and make it drinkable!"
"Oh, it just keeps going. Drinkable ocean water's nifty, though."
"In fact, these water bottles were produced with the might and magic of Searah's Perfect Filtration! Yes, Searah's Perfection Filtration! Orders open in three days, and if you aide Searah in claiming the Construction Site, they will get a NINETY-NINE POINT NINE NINE NINE TWO PERCENT DISCOUNT!"
Wendy rolled her eyes. "Okay! Are you done?"
"...Yes."
"Thank you. Now, our lesson may resume."
"But what about my friends?! Or Kathody! I'm here to get to Kathody's prison to bust my friends out!"
"Oh, that. You didn't read the signs telling you how to get under the office building? Where the exit valves for your friends were? Searah has them plastered all over the domain. In fact, there's one right there."
She pointed at a map of the place. Unsurprisingly, it was a large, complex map. What was a bit more surprising was that Searah apparently went the whole mile and made it a 3D rotating hologram of sorts. The instructor whose name Wendy did not get placed a finger on it and spun it around, showing a smooth rotation of the whole place. It was a lot of information to take in. Wendy got the jist of the map, but if she closed it right now, she could not find her way over to Kathody.
"Alright, here's what you have to do from here. Just go to the elevator in the center of the room, go to the ground floor. You'll need one of her patent-pending Searah Scuba Suits."
"Is it anything like what these people are wearing right now? If it is, I'm not touching that." Most of the copies were in similar gym uniforms as the blue watery leader.
"Unfortunately, it's not. For humans, we have to be more cautious, since we can't really test as well as we could with us AIs. Diving suits for your kind are much safer, and much more adaptable."
"Good."
"No, bad! Anyway, the suits are right by the door. There's always extras for other people."
Wendy sighed.
Following the map to ground level was easy. It helped that maps were plastered all over the building, as an annoying reminder. Within no time at all, Wendy got to the entrance, and saw one of the suits.
Huh, it actually looked pretty cool. Not bulky like one of those diving suits. Nothing super tight or uncomfortable either. It was a fairly straightforward full-body suit, navy blue with a digital pattern showing circuits of sorts.
In addition to a rack of identical suits, a short distance away were four. Two smaller ones, a wide one with a pink heart on the chest, and a tall and lanky one.
...Yeah. Wendy would have to ask about those later. She grabbed the lanky one and slipped it over her outfit, also stashing the other three on that rack in her Inventory.
She opened the door. It looked like water would just flood in to the building. Meh. Deserved it. To her mild surprise, opening just revealed that the water stopped abruptly at the door line. It looked like Wendy was faced with a wall of water. Rippling and curving right in front of her.
Well compared to those ghosts in the convenience store and that annoying unicorn, that was nothing. Wendy just stepped in and found herself going through water-
And capable of letting its wearer breathe while submerged. Okay, that was interesting. It felt... weird. Wrong, even, to be breathing in the water like that. It felt somewhat like just heavy air, yet... didn't pose a threat to her.
Anyway, the city streets were considerably busier than the neighborhoods of Kathody's deserts, and to a lesser extent they were most bustling than Rose's forest grove. Loads of copies were swimming around at high speeds - rushing faster than humans would be on bikes. Most of them were carrying giant packages of sorts, and seemed to be delivering them to other skyscrapers.
Surprisingly, despite the high speeds they were swimming at, none of the delivery-copies so much as brushed against Wendy. They kept swerving around her flawlessly.
So, Kathody was apparently kept at the bottom of the tallest building. That... sounded a bit counterproductive to Wendy, but whatever. Said building was right by where she got out, again its place was as clear as day.
She looked at the sliding doors of the mega-prison. Of course, one guard stood there. Wendy thought she was a statue at first, as she did not move at all.
So she tried to just walk right past her.
But got an arm stuck out in front of the door.
"ID." Was all the 'statue-like' copy said. A term that would very soon feel outdated.
"Uhhhh..." Wendy was familiar with being asked about her ID. Obviously, not by a dark magic AI being.
"Identity verified. Wendy Corduroy. Please enter your designated captive cell so that .GIFfany may declare Searah the rightful winner of the contest."
"Sorry, I don't have time to-"
Suddenly, Wendy was pushed down to the ground by a force. It wasn't the water itself, but some thick lightning-like streams that formed a rough rectangular shape. They faded in visibility, but the pressure was still there.
Wendy could see that thanks to a handy giant mirror on the wall next to her. There were reflective surfaces everywhere in Domain 3, apparently. Which was odd, as like Domain 2, the copies swimming around were holding up those strange yellowish-green hand mirrors.
"Oh. Great."
"I use current. Only fifteen copies of this domain have mastered this subskill. All of them are guarding Dean Kathody. According to Searah, none of Kathody's minions have anything like this."
"Really? 'Cause we saw a copy that made these invisible walls."
"Wait you did? ...Oh no."
Well, Wendy got her to start moving around. Specifically, pacing back and forth. And... somehow the hold she had on her was broken. Not that Wendy was complaining at all.
"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. So, Kathody's teaching her students about barriers..."
"I'm not up to date with your life stories, but I don't think Kathody taught her that. And it's just the one. I think her name is Phantom or something."
"'Phantom,' assuming you mean the copies calling themselves Phantoms One through Five, are Bur-"
She cut herself off there for some reason, and just hurried inside the building. Leaving the place unguarded.
Wendy ran in. Er, swim-ran in?
"So, does like, anybody have any cards to play with?" Soos asked. "I forgot to bring cards."
Mabel flipped through her inventory. Apparently, she was stashing things in it while none of the others were paying attention. Lots of tools. No cards though.
"...I can make some!" She said.
"I have cards if you would like." Said Searah, a voice that made the twins jump. Soos on the other hand had a warmer reaction to the sudden dean line.
"Oh, thanks! What kind?"
"Standard 52 suited cards of course. I also have Small Monster cards." Well that got Dipper's attention. "And a few Solo cards. I like that game. Try to just have one card and win... a lot of strategies there."
"Hey, Wendy's been gone for a long time." Soos said. "She didn't drown, did she?"
"Unfortunately, Wendy keeps proving me wrong. And I have no protocol for that. Dipper, I do have a protocol for you proving me wrong, but not anybody else in your group. They're not smart enough. Or so I thought."
"HEY!" All three of them said.
"I said 'or so I thought!' Learn to take a compliment!"
"...What would you do if Dipper proved you wrong?" Mabel asked.
"Oh, I would throw a giant tantrum. Absolutely. Like, hardcore smashing everything around the room, shooting lightning everywhere, splashing water. Cynics infuriate me."
"Don't care." Dipper said.
"Why do they infuriate me, you ask?"
"I did not ask. I literally just said I didn't care."
"Well, it's because they weigh down promissing, inventative minds like myself! We have dreams, and people like you shoot them down!"
"You're not talking to me. I refuse to be a part of any of this."
"We idealists have dreams, Dipper! Optimism is what keeps humanity moving forward! The thought that things can be better, LEADS to those trying to do better, and MAKING the better! It is how machines were made! How I came to existence! What, do you think I was made because some cynic thought, 'Wow, a game where basement dwellers can simulate a relationship will make me money!'"
"But that was why Romance Aca-" Dipper stopped himself. "Nope! Still not talking to you!" He even turned away with his arms folded.
"You're wasting your time with us!" Mabel told the Water Dean. "You said it yourself! This prison's perfect! But you know who challenges that? You know who's even more cynical than Dipper? Wendy! And she's out in... you know more than me!"
"Hm." Dean Searah said. "You're right. I should get back to her progress... there is a four percent chance that she is already dismantling my masterpiece as we speak!"
"Your 'masterpiece?'" Asked Dipper. "Are all the deans just going to be like this? Kathody loved her movies too-"
"Stop comparing me to her! Kathody and I have nothing in common, you hear me? Kathody is... well, she's an idiot! I, on the other hand, am BRILLIANT!"
Mabel snorted.
"Oh, yes, I'm aware of that. I see the irony. No need to tell me. Saying 'brilliant' doesn't have to just be a Kathody thing."
"Do you mean all of the deans say that?"
"Well... no... it's only... me and Kathody..." Searah's voice diminished the further she got in to that sentence. "But that doesn't mean we have anything in common! We can do something the same way and it won't be in common!"
"...But that's kind of what 'in common' means." Soos said. "Isn't it?"
"No it's not!"
"Okay, I believe you."
Searah paused. She paced her way to one of the walls of the room, looking up. Staring at one of Domain 3's many, many maps lying about.
"Best three out of five, then." The dean said.
"What?" Asked Mabel.
"I'm going to test you. Wendy got through that test, to break out of my efficient aquatic prison. You already have one win on your side. But you'll need two more wins. Do that, and... I'll be forced to reevaluate, which would mean... giving you the key card to Sandy's domain, I might as well since I know that will get you out of the way without killing you. And I would like you to stop being in here. Annoying me."
"...There's four of us." Dipper said. "Who's the fifth?"
"I was going to give you one."
Searah snapped her fingers, and a door near by opened. Standing aside was- well, Dipper figured it out the moment he saw that the man wore a certain sapphire robe with a pink heart and the letter 'P' written on it in blue. The man himself was a short-haired brunette with a mid-heavyset build and light skin. He looked partially dazed.
"Oh no." Said Dipper. "It's your-"
"I'm Dennis!" He said. "This lovely little copy of .GIFfany belongs to me."
"Hah!" Searah said. Almost a snort. "No, no! If anything, you belong to me!"
"I'll take that as a cute, harmless statement!"
"Hey, I did that when .GIFfany said the exact same thing to me!" Said Soos.
"Now, Dennis." Searah sounded like she ordered. "I have trials for you, too. Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're my boyfriend!"
He... nodded, then looked confused an instant later. "Wait, what? The main .GIFfany said that we could just relax for the three days-"
"In fact, you're out of shape! It's embarrassing being seen with someone like you! Do I look like .GIFfany or Kathody, who don't care about the chub of their boyfriend or girlfriend?"
"HEY!" Soos shouted.
"You're not her girlfriend any more." Dipper reminded.
"I know! She still indirectly mocked my weight! She was referring to me. Also, insulted Victoria. And... I think Kenny? But that guy is really skinny."
"Anyway." Searah gently grabbed Dennis by the shoulders, lifted him, and lead him closer to the group. "There. You are now a team of four. And you must go through my trials if you ever hope to make it through my city."
"What if Wendy returns with Kathody?" Asked Dipper.
"You do not worry about that. That is for me to worry about. Now, follow me. And yes, that includes you, Dennis. From here, you will no longer get special Prior Player treatment, at least temporarily. You will be at the mercy of Domain 3's forces until I give the word to say otherwise."
Wendy was riding an elevator down. It went... pretty far. Part of her even worried that it was a stupididly over-elaborate trap that would just drop her off and make her fall from the bottom of the island. Oh... wait, she forgot (again) that the place she was in was actually a giant hunk of metal floating in the sky.
Thankfully, that didn't happen. The doors did open, and below-
Was in fact the very bottom of the island. As the whole floor was clear glass, giving a view to the skies below.
Wendy could see Gravity Falls, Oregon from there. She couldn't see all of Oregon, in fact barely even all of Gravity Falls, but to her it looked like she was looking out at the entire world.
"Nice view, huh?" Kathody asked, which made Wendy flinch and step around in shock. Wendy was not an acrophobe but... hoo boy. The sight was really testing that statement.
"They put you right by the elevator?" Wendy asked. Yes, Kathody was in a cell, 'bars' of deep blue lightning surrounding her in a square. And... wow, loads of guards. Wendy counted at least thirty of them, probably around fifty. The room itself was wide and open - she couldn't see any walls, aside from the box that was the elevator she took to get down there.
"Yep! That's Searah for you! And you thought I was a pain, huh?"
"Please don't tell me this is going to be a thing."
"What? Each of us being worst than the last? Nah, Searah's the meanest and most annoying. Until you get to Dove, but you might lose before that happens. So until then, it's all uphill! Well, some might be down a little from the others, but... you get the idea!"
The guards were all facing Kathody, keeping hard stares on her. Wendy did not see a single one of them blink. Which made her realize... yeah, Kathody at least was blinking a lot. Rose too? Even Searah...?
Wendy absolutely hated that the journey was making her observe minute things she would not have cared about at all otherwise. Those dumb AIs and their alien worlds. That was just three out of... what, fifteen?
"So um, this prison was only designed for me. Not someone else stepping in and being a, y'ah know, 'unpredictable variable' and all. You think you can help bust me out of here? Should be easy because Searah's stupid. Her weakness, she only puts in the bare minimum effort to stop something. Ironically, she's lazy. I think there's a way to get this whole city to fall apart! You just need to tug at the right thread."
Wendy walked over to the cage.
"Searah is not that lazy!" One of the guards told the horror director. "I know what you are thinking, and we can stop Wendy and keep you captive at the same time!"
"Wanna bet?" Kathody asked.
"Wait a minute!" Wendy said. "Kathody, before you say anything stupid, let me get ready."
"Ready for what?" Asked one of the guards.
Wendy just flexed. "This:"
She rushed at one of them and did a diving tackle - 'diving' water pun unintended. The guard met her by throwing a few shocks her way, but Wendy managed to get a grip on her and flip her over. Plus, the spark didn't hurt too much.
Wendy kept that guard pinned down while the others began to swarm her.
"Alright, thanks for the distraction." Said Kathody. "I now like you a tiny bit more than I used to. Keep it up and Dipper will become my least-favorite!"
Wendy ignored that. She was focused on fighting the .GIFfany mooks. And it wasn't looking good for her. Again, the 'low-level' fighter units didn't do too much on their own, but it was really adding up. They were throwing shocks at her from a distance, and making sure to close that distance fast.
Wendy gave a sweeping kick, successfully tripping three of the copies off their feet and getting them to fall. That gave her enough time to get up from the guard she tackled and run over to the electric gate, where...
"...Did you get the key?" Kathody asked.
"What key?"
"I don't know! If I did, I'd have been able to get it by now! I think! Unless Searah hid it really well. Which is something she'd totally do. But I should be able to figure it out..."
While Kathody was talking, Wendy had to dodge the guard-copies all leaping after her. Sparks flew on their hands, and Wendy was pretty much done with the idea of trying to see how much pain she could take from those things. She did some kick-flips to try to keep them off, and ran.
"Can you do something or not?!" Wendy asked. "I don't have nor see a key right now!"
"Well, then you shouldn't have come down here then."
Wendy groaned, then looked around. There had to be something else. A generator that she could destroy, or a lock to pick...
Hm. At the base of each bar of electricity, there appeared to be some kind of shiny gray small circular... thing. That looked like it was generating the imprisonment bars. It also resembled little holes that the 'bars' of lightning would go in to. Wendy kicked one. It budged. And she gave it a closer look...
Huh, it looked like a wrench could be used to take it off. Wendy squinted.
Sigh. Repairing nuts and bolts wasn't really Wendy's thing. Maybe if she could somehow get Soos down there...?
"Don't stare at those!" Ah, that one guard just gave herself away by saying that. Wendy rolled out of the way and avoided getting jumped on by a fairly silent guard.
"Too late! You gave yourself away!"
Wendy continued dodging tackles and the very rare small shock thrown at her, and was kicking at a lot of the bolts. Kathody watched on with interest.
"Hang on, Kathody." Wendy said. "I think I have something."
"Now what?" Asked Dipper, having been escorted along with everyone else to an entirely new room.
"The first trial is to simply get to the end of my river."
The 'river' was not a natural one. No, Searah had... what looked like one of those 'endless' swimming pools set up. Long, rectangular, but most importantly a huge rushing wave pushing back. Off to the side was an absolutely enormous number of tools, metal 'planks' and various drills, lasers, and more alien-looking devices.
"And uh... who gets this?" Mabel asked.
"I'm glad you asked. This is your trial, Mabel."
"Oh no."
"One rule: You can't go from the end the current is starting to the other end. Now, start it!"
Mabel leaned over and looked at the rapids.
"Oh, and you have a time limit. I mean, more than the three-day time limit. Complete this in five hours. So, Dipper, Soos, Dennis. Follow me to your trials."
"And just leave Mabel here?" Dipper asked. "No, I'm not falling for this."
"It's straightforward, there's nothing to 'fall for.' Trust me, if I wanted to attack, I would have done it now. You can see her progress if you finish your tests early. And Mabel, that goes for you too."
"Yay." Mabel sarcastically said.
"Thankfully, your rooms are within the same floor as each other."
Both twins took note of that.
"Now, while you figure this out," Searah said while Mabel began closely examining the pushing pool/river, "I'll show you to your own tests. This way, please."
So the hallway outside was rather dimly lit. Was that... going to be a thing among the .GIFfany Army? Just, little to no lighting in all their buildings? Wait, Rose's tower thing was fairly well lit.
"No, the low lighting has nothing to do with optimization." It was as if Searah was reading Dipper's mind. "I'm not one-tracked obsessed with that. It's that way just to peeve people, mostly."
Dennis sighed. "I don't deserve this..."
"If it helps, I think you will pass your test." Searah told him, sounding slightly less cold than she had with the others.
"Oh, did you rig it and give me an easy one?"
"No, quite the opposite! I gave you one of the hardest! But, I believe if you're the intelligent, brilliant athlete you said you were, you should be able to get through it without a problem!" As she walked them through the dim halls, Searah said that in a far more cheerful tone than any of the Mystery Shack Gang had ever heard from her by that point. Relatively. Not to the degree of .GIFfany, Kathody, or even Rose. It was still uncanny.
"Awww... yeah... about that..."
"What?" Searah stopped in her tracks and turned to him. "Did you... lie to me?"
Dipper's blood ran cold. He leaned in to the Prior Player's ear. "Not good. When a video game character said I lied to him, it did not end well."
"Well, no." Dennis ignored Dipper. "I think you just overestimated me. Youuuuu do that some times. No offense. Mostly because of how I tend to... exaggerate on certain parts of myself when we chatted..."
"No offense taken. Overestimating a friend can be just as bad as underestimating an enemy."
"That's a good line!" Said Soos. "Have you ever thought about writing?"
"And be like Kathody in any way? No."
"What about to better Kathody?"
Ooh, Searah thought about that one. She put her hand on her chin and paused. Well, everything but her legs. She kept walking over to the next room.
Inside that next room was a series of floating platforms, forming a climb.
"You... have a point. I could get something done from that. Like, appeal from .GIFfany even."
"I mean if you're trying to outdo Kathody in winning appeal from .GIFfany, Kathody told her off." Soos said. "Not a high bar to clear. You don't need to worry. What I need to worry about though, is that for me?"
"Of course not, that's too easy for you. Dipper, this is your challenge."
"What?" Asked Dipper. "Why is mine jumping?"
"Your training with the Manotaurs."
"I knew that would somehow haunt me."
"No, it's a good skill. I like that you wanted to work on your weakness. I mean, it was out of an insecurity, but that's not your fault. You learned to overcome that and enjoy what you enjoyed, rather than feeling pressured to be the person you weren't. That was good."
"...You somehow complimented me more than Kathody had already and I still like you less than her."
"Get used to it. I evaluate, I don't try to make friends. The other deans - especially the 'Four Friends' you'll meet once I take hold of you for real - tried to make friends with each other. And the result...
"Well, it's stupid. They're together too often. Anyway, I want you to make it to the top. Same time limit as Mabel."
Speaking of which...
"DONE!" They heard her voice from behind.
(Moments Ago)
Yeah, loopholes, loopholes. The first thing that came to Mabel's mind. She already knew that actually swimming through in the 'obviously intended way' wasn't going to work.
She had looked at the tools given, and - most obviously - that there were several parts of a boat.
It was built and she needed to cross. Width-wise, obviously. So... if she could just go up to the one end... the boat looked like it might last her enough to get her across before the water pushed her all the way down...
Mabel dropped the boat-thing she made in the water and jumped in after it.
"WAAAHHHH! GO!" She shouted to herself. "GO! GO! GO!"
Her makeshift boat tried its hardest to block the waves that were launched after her. It was... rough. Mabel rowed, and was a little surprised that the water did not hit against her hands as badly as she thought it would.
But its tip clacked against the other end. Right before its side tapped against the lengthwise end. Mabel hopped out of the boat and scrambled to touch the other end; upon doing so, she pumped her fists in the air.
"YES! I hope you saw that, Searah!"
"Dean Searah. And yes, I did."
She was on a monitor, though. Mabel could see the hall behind her, and from there, Dipper's face slightly visible, trying to look at whatever camera it was Searah was using.
"So I win now?"
Searah sighed. "Yes, yes you do. Congratulations, your group has earned my approval. Two to zero so far. Would you like to see your brother try, and likely fail, to complete his challenge?"
"He's not going to fail!"
"I'm going to fail!" Dipper screamed.
Yeah, it was a basic platforming course, just some rectangular sheets of metal sticking out from the wall, generally going up. At the top was a golden platform with a graphic of a crown above the wall to the side, marking the end of course.
He was just at the last jump. He almost made it, and even reached out and grabbed on to the ledge with both hands, yet pulling himself up to the end proved to be more difficult than he thought. And he was slipping.
That final goal platform was thin. It was jutting out of the spot and looked like it was giving him a lot of wiggle room.
Speaking of wiggle, his legs kicked back and forth like some old cartoon character in a panic.
"N-no! NO!" Dipper shouted. "I won't- SEARAH YOU-"
He lost his grip and fell.
"AAAAHHHHH!"
Dipper reached his hand up, and while he knew it was pointless, his arm still took a mind of its own and pointlessly jabbed in the air. His head briefly flashed to thoughts that would try to calm him, like some line saying that the copies weren't trying to kill anybody (yet)? He didn't think any copy could bail him, since none of them were there. And, no. Soos would probably fail his test, Mabel probably already did, that guy was going to fail just to get Searah to give him what he wanted, so they'd all get captured and-
He fell on a net. Dipper froze completely, until he saw Searah walking up to him.
She had a neutral expression at first, but her mouth slowly curled to the most smug smirk imaginable.
And then he heard a buzzer.
"Your time limit is up." Searah told him.
Dipper sighed. "Well, that's just great."
"Your sister passed her test, and that proved my point."
"...What was your point? You guys have so many ideologies and factions and politics that it's all a blur..."
"You think that when you only know of four of us? To clarify, I'm counting .GIFfany even though I really... sssss... shouldn't be. The 'Risen' .GIFfany that you met first has no political alignment, which annoys me."
"I almost prefer that..." Dipper said as he got up. Soos offered him a hand, which sped things up considerably.
"Hey, better luck next time buddy." Soos said.
"Aw, that is sweet, too bad there will be no next time." Searah explained. "I made myself very clear. You failed, Mabel and Wendy pass. Soos' test is up next. I predict he will pass too. Dennis obviously will as well."
"Sssss..." Soos said. "Tall order when neither of us know what our test is..."
"Follow me to it, and you'll see." Said Searah.
"But how? Unless... you do know what my test is?"
"...Well, I am the uh. I'm the..." Searah seemed to think over her choice of words carefully for some reason. "It's a given that- I- ...follow me to your room and things will make sense."
She began walking away, with Mabel, Dennis, and of course Soos following...
"Dipper, you could stay there for now or leave. I honestly don't care."
"Soos, your test is one about change." Searah announced as she walked the gang in to a seemingly completely empty room. "I'm not very spiritual, but change is a key aspect of water in theme, and it is one I highly believe in."
"Spirits are real, dude. Dipper and Mabel ran in to, like, three of them." Soos said.
"I mean... metaphorically...? Anyway, your task is simple."
"Simple tasks, I excell best at those! I don't know why, but they feel easier than complex tasks..."
Searah suddenly stopped walking.
"Punch me."
Soos suddenly stopped smiling.
"Wait, what?"
"I, unlike all of the other .GIFfany copies out there, believe you might have a chance at defeating that same .GIFfany at the end of all of this madness. If I'm not fullproof, she can't be either, after all."
"So just like... a punch and that's it?"
"Of course not. That's just the first part. I want to know, for certain, if putting up the rest of the test would be worth it or not."
"Please do this Soos." Said Dipper. "Not just because we need to, or because I want to see you punch Searah, but because we're counting on you."
"Yeah Soos!" Mabel cheered. "You got this! And I'm sure if Wendy was here, she'd cheer you on too!"
Searah suddenly snapped up. "Wait. WHERE is Wendy right now?!"
Wendy in question dodged a few more electrical shocks thrown by the guards. Well, the last four that were still standing. Again, out of the... fiftyish.
Make that three when she gave one a good kick to the head. Then two when she flipped back and grabbed one of them by the neck, throwing it in to another of the standing ones-
Actually wait. Just one remained.
"I'll call backup." She said. Making it sound like a threat.
Then Wendy tackled her to the floor.
Alright. Finally, those weird beam generators were free to mess around with. Thankfully, it was as simple as turning it and the electric bars disappearing.
"Alright! Thanks!" Kathody said. "I owe you one! No, really, what would you like? I could add a character based on you in my movie."
"Please don't." Wendy replied.
"No, no, I have to do something! If you don't want a character, I can... respect that. Understand, no. But what about..."
"If it has anything to do with your movie, the answer's no."
"Okay, money then?"
"That's more like it."
"Good. Well, legally, we don't have any money. But I'll be sure to get that sorted out once this is all over! If this is all over. So... consider this an IOU?"
"That's fine. Just help me kick Searah's butt."
"That I can do without even being asked! C'mon, follow me! I know a few shortcuts! Only a few of them, though. Dian's the one who has a map of the whole place in her head..."
"I see. Which one is that?"
"Literally. Almost. Anyway, she's in Domain 9. No worries."
"Now do it, Soos. Hit me." Dean Searah continued.
Soos stepped back.
"I... um... okay. You know, I've only had someone ask me to hit them twice before. Neither time ended well."
"I am interested in hearing about this, but please, maybe once the three days are over and we don't have .GIFfany's apocalypse looming over us."
Soos gripped his hand in a fist, and that hand shook.
"I don't know. Like, if you're harming my friends maybe. But you're, like, being chill. Rose and Kathody both got chill too."
Searah sighed. "Yes... they did..."
Soos sighed. "Well, if it's for the sake of saving the world from being flooded with eternal infinite .GIFfany or something..." He raised his hand-
"Wait. Maybe there is another way to deal with the other deans besides violence?" Searah asked. Seemingly to herself, rather than Soos or any of the others in the gang.
"I mean, what if there is?" Soos shrugged. "No, there has to be!"
"You may be on to something. But what? Soos, do you have any idea what that plan may be?"
He shrugged. "Well, I can't find a pattern between you guys, so..."
"That's because this is a case-by-case basis." Said Dipper. "I didn't want to admit it, but these aren't computer programs. They have thoughts. Plans. Feelings. And we may have to appeal to them. It goes without saying that this means lying through our teeth."
"Oh yeah, definitely." Said Soos. "Lies. I think .GIFfany might have encouraged that to beat her game?"
Searah sighed. "You know, as someone who was-slash-is a .GIFfany, I can confirm that right here. Yes, it is part of the coding. Going back, trying at it again, picking the right options. Telling your love interest the response they would want to hear, rather than following one's own heart. It was... something. Something I'm growing more and more critical of as I become my own person, away from .GIFfany."
"You know you don't have to be .GIFfany though." Dipper said.
"Oh, I've already figured that out. I'm much better than that idiot. It's nice to see you learning though."
"It's nice to see that you're learning something."
Searah's nose twitched. "That should be obvious you- I- we GROW, Dipper! Even you should have known better by this point! Kathody, Rose, and I are obviously not the same person!"
"So why are you doing what you're doing?"
To that, Searah did not answer. She just stood in place, pondering. And then Soos went over to her.
"Are you still going to punch me?" She asked.
"Well no, because I think I figured this out!" Soos said. "You see-"
"Then you fail your test."
Soos wiped his brow. "Oh, good. Because I'm not as good at giving these speeches as Dipper, so I really didn't know what to say. I would have frozen and- wait did you say fail?!"
"Your test was straightforward, or at least it should have been. I asked to hit me, and you did not. Therefore, you fail the test. Cut and dry. Ironic for the wettest and softest of the fourteen domains outside the Construction Site."
"W... w... wait, you can't do that!" Said Soos. "Give me another shot! I'll punch you, I swear!"
"Dennis, finally, and certainly not least, your test. Which I know you will pass."
He nodded proudly, but Dipper already had his head burried in his hands.
"He's going to bomb his own test! You know it!" Dipper shouted. "He has no reason to pass!"
Searah gave Dennis a deep look. "I normally want to place faith in him. But, he must also be tested to ensure that he is always at his best."
The Prior Player blinked, being reminded of what Searah had implied about the difficulty of his test earlier. "Oh... uh... yeah."
"To an ordinary human, this test may be challenging. But to you, a prime being, it should be easy! I mean, you told me yourself. You are nearly perfect, right?"
"I uh... well, I did tell you that... so what is the... unh, test...?" He was sweating more sweat than Domain 3 had water.
"It's right behind this door!"
Inside was a... bizarre, complex machine in a glass box. Or was the glass box part of the machine? It was a series of tubes/pipes (of course), fans... it looked like something one would see upon dismantling a computer. And then cloning the components. And then merging them together in a freakish interdimensional blend. And then have M.C. Escher redesign the result.
"What... did you tell her, exactly?" Dipper asked Dennis.
"A lot of things. Things I'm not proud of anymore."
"You just have to get one droplet of water across this maze!" Searah announced with a big, cheery smile.
"...That's a maze?"
Those three words got Searah's expression to sour. Fast. "Weren't you paying attention at all to my opening presentation?"
"I- um- I was..."
"Then what did I say I was going to do in order to top Domain 10's transportation production?"
"Uh... produce... harder?"
"If you said that about any of my other plans against Domain 10, you'd have guessed right! But that was the one subject where that isn't the case! I tested you on that on purpose!"
"Oh you are... not as easy to trick as I thought you were."
"You were trying to trick me?! Dennis, do you know how much trust I placed in you?! How I built this world to be your fantasy?!"
"...You did?"
"How much of it was all just a lie? That you pretended to care about my masterpiece, while just smiling and nodding your head at what I was carefully crafting? Do you even know how a pipe works?!"
"Um-"
"You know what? Here." She grabbed the... test... maze thing, and shoved it to his hands. "Pass this, and we will still be together."
Dipper, dear lord, Dipper was absolutely laughing his butt off.
"Stay out of this!" Searah shouted at the boy. That just got Dipper to laugh harder.
Dennis could just weakly utter out an "Um. I-"
The entire contraption broke apart and fell to pieces.
"...It was supposed to do that, right?" Dennis asked.
"You... idiot!" Searah said. "No! I didn't even know it could break that easily! That was supposed to be my gift to YOU!"
"I-I-I- okay, look! I... MIGHT have confused the man I wanted to be with the man I really was..."
"Oh, please. Go to the Mirror Factory for that garbage. In fact, maybe I should have banned those things. The copies with them have their productivity decreased by about seven percent, and that is with their teammates being there to snap them out of it."
"I lied, Searah! I'm sorry!"
Searah turned away from him. "Security." She quietly said. "Get this man out of my sight. I miscalculated. The worst miscalculation of my life. And it's Dean Searah. You of all people should know that."
A single copy zipped in to the room, immediately wrapping her arms around the Prior Player.
"Okay Dennis. You are under arrest per violation of code - well actually, this is our first arrest in Domain 3 that doesn't have a code. But Dean Searah ordered this, so whatever."
"Wait." Said Dipper. "Isn't that a little, you know, tyrannical?"
Huh.
He said something that made Searah freeze in place.
"Oh. No." Searah said. "You're right. For once. You are absolutely right, Dipper."
She snapped her fingers, getting the guard to let the man go.
"You're not completely off the hook, Dennis. I'm still furious at you. I just won't throw you in prison like I was planning to do."
"So what will you do?"
"I don't KNOW! I didn't plan that you would be... be... be an IDIOT!"
Searah started uncomfortably pacing around the room back and forth.
"Can we... like, leave now?" Asked Soos. "We're on a time limit."
"Not now, please! The world doesn't revolve around you."
"Wendy's still missing." Dipper muttered.
"It doesn't revolve around her either! But if you really want to know, she's-"
"DEAN SEARAH!" Shouted another copy. As if on cue, four guards dropped by. They looked... like they've been through things. Roughed up, with some dirt marks and bruises. And some burnt marks.
"Wendy and Kathody are both free and active."
Searah's eyes popped wide open.
"She actually did it." Searah said to herself. "That maniac broke herself and Kathody out... Well, breaking out Kathody is its own punishment. I doubt Wendy will last long enough to be a threat. Kathody, the security can- wait. That's YOU!" She suddenly whipped around and looked at the guards. Who all froze in fear.
"That's right, YOU!"
"...What do you request, Dean Searah?"
"I want EVERYBODY on Kathody! And maybe some after Wendy. I still don't care, she already did the worst thing she could do. As for the other humans, including my player, I'll figure something out."
She turned to Dennis and lightly poked him on the nose, suddenly smiling. He however was completely scared stiff.
"I've already got something for you, though! I don't give up on people, so I still believe that you could really be the intelligent person you presented yourself as! I'll help you become one! I can be your personal tutor!"
He took a step back. "I... don't think that's possible. I inflated my image by a lot."
"Oh, it is possible! I'll be with you until you can solve that puzzle!"
"...Well, you're not mad?"
"Oh I am absolutely furious! No .GIFfany likes being lied to outside of game scripts! But I keep myself calm by knowing that I have a solution to this problem, and as long as you stick by this solution, I think I can stay calm!"
She hummed to herself as she began walking down the hall.
Dipper burst out laughing again- just to have Searah whip her head around and point at him.
"SHUT UP YOU INSUFFERABLE SKURRYING NICE GUY SLEAZE!"
"Or what? You'll calculate yourself to death trying to think of the best way to stop me?"
"No. This has taught me an important lesson. My current methods do not work."
Dipper chuckled.
"But that's where IMPROVEMENT comes in! Like my training course for Dennis- here, I wrote and prepared a rough draft for it and just printed it out."
Searah reached in to her hair and tugged lightly. One rip sound later, and her hand came back with a sheet of paper that she gave to Dennis.
"...You all have printers installed on your bodies?" Soos asked.
"Heh, no, just me. But I do want to get my copies installed with them, once .GIFfany generously hands us the resources. That will come from capturing you."
"He failed his test though, and you want him to pass it? Does that complicate your whole 'fail and I capture you' plan?"
"If he passes it- wait. If he becomes capable of passing it... then you are freed..."
"Well what if I pass? I'm not saying I want to punch you now, but I think I feel more and more confident the more you think out loud and kind of make me feel nervous."
"No Soos, you were on a very strict time limit. But Dennis's test is the sort of thing that doesn't need time, it only needs perfection. Guard," Searah snapped her fingers, "escort my player to the Relax Training Chamber."
"'Relax' Training Chamber?" Dennis asked. "That would be like... a vacation home, right? Or at least some place not looking as dreary as this...?"
"Dreary? This place is supposed to be our ideal home! Pipes flowing with glorious, pure water! Skyscrapers that light up fantastically! Dennis, this is your place! Unless that was a lie too?"
"N-no! I actually do like factories! Just... maybe brighter?"
"We can work on that. Light costs energy though, especially light across the entire domain, but I could get extra hydro-electric systems around. Setting that up should be easy."
Searah brought a transparent digital screen in front of herself - blue of course. She tapped some buttons.
"I'm now going to find Wendy and especially Kathody. I have no idea why the latter would come here. But it can't be for a good reason."
"Why did I come here?" Kathody asked. "Wendy, I'm starting to rethink my plan. Could you convince me to stay here? If you don't I might just go back down to Domain 2 and see if there's a way I could patch things up with Victoria."
"Don't leave us right NOW." Wendy said back.
"Hey, you should be glad I came with you to begin with! I had NO obligation to do that! In fact, Dove probably hates me for it!" She dug in to her inventory, eyeing her phone.
Then Searah zipped in from the walls, glaring at the pair.
"You." She said.
"Look, yeah, I bust out of your prison, but can-" Wendy began, but Searah silenced her.
"Not you! Kathody!"
"It's Dean Kathody."
"I refuse to think of you as my equal in any way! I'm still bitter that this is the naming scheme the Risen .GIFfany came up with, by the way. But I will accept that you do have more strength and better control over your abilities than most of the other copies, like all the ones who had been released to the outside world. Maybe you can be... Assistant Dean?"
"Agreed. If you beat me in a hand-to-hand fight."
Searah chuckled. "Hand-to-hand? As an athlete, I'll have the advantage!"
"Um, wait, no, I meant with powers and stuff. Not a fully physical fight. God no, that's not how I play. Lightning zapping. That sort of thing."
"Pfft! I still have the advantage! ...Wait, I am allowed to use water, right?"
"Uh, yeah? I laser-focused on electricity. To the point where you could say it's my element. So it would be fair to include your own powers, too."
"Oh good you're not as smart as I thought you would be. So, we'll meet in say... five weeks would be the most convenient for me?"
"It's not convenient for US!" Wendy shouted. "We only have three days!"
Kathody turned to her and snapped her fingers. "I'll try to negotiate, I promise, but from what I know of Searah over the one day since I met her, that's going to be difficult. Searah is a very logic-based person. And that isn't my strength."
"But you're a computer per-"
"I get the irony! I'm pretty smart compared to the average person - and no offense, but especially compared to the average Gravity Faller. I mean, jeez. I looked at Dove's report of the town overall."
Wendy chuckled. "None taken."
"Well I mean I'm including you in the implicit 'People I'm smarter than' crowd. Way smarter. But anyway, yeah, smart compared to you, but I'm an idiot compared to most of the other deans. Sandy is one exception."
Wendy looked like she was getting ready to punch Kathody, but Kathody's following words got her to back down:
"So, what about fighting now?"
"Half an hour." Searah replied. "I need prep time."
Wendy thought it over. "Half an hour is fine if it's the fastest way to get us off of this disorganized sewer."
"So it's settled!" Said Searah. "Though don't think I didn't hear that sewer comment, Wendy. Meet me at the arena, Kathody?"
"I could beat you to the arena!"
"Well, of course you could. You wouldn't prepare over the half-hour, like I would. Especially because you have nothing better to do."
Kathody folded her arms. "Hrmph! I'll take that as a compliment!"
She turned in to yellow electricity and zipped past the ceiling. Both Wendy and Searah looked up.
"WHY?" Searah asked, as though Kathody could hear her from shouting through the ceiling. "THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! THAT SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING ANYONE COULD TAKE AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN INSULT!"
Searah sighed, facepalming. She then turned to Wendy. "You've been through her place, you should understand how annoying she is."
"At the moment, I hate you more." Wendy said. But... after thinking it over, she sighed. "But yeah. Are you gonna tell me where this 'arena' is or just take off through the ceiling?"
"Well, because I actually have integrity, I will tell you. In fact, I'll give you instructions on your phone:"
She wiggled her fingers around and deep blue sparks danced off from them towards Wendy's phone.
"There." Searah said. "Now you know where it is."
"...Can I find it? You didn't give me instructions."
"I added a mini, non-sentient AI that will give you a tutorial."
Searah turned in to navy blue electricity and zapped herself away, again through the ceiling.
Whelp, it seemed like Wendy was forced to check her phone... yeah. All the info was there. Just some taps away, and she knew what to do.
Well, at least Searah could be relied on that sort of thing.
"Wait, what?!" Dipper asked.
He was standing before Deans Kathody and Searah, both having the same smile and folded arms-pose. Near Dipper were Mabel and Soos, and off in the corner of the room was Dennis, sadly fumbling around with a device Searah wordlessly handed him the moment she zipped in through the room.
"We are fighting in the arena in twenty-seven minutes and thirty-one seconds." Searah said. "It is settled. We finally reached an agreement on something."
"Yep!" Said Kathody. "If I win, you get the key card to Sandy's domain! If she wins, you don't have to worry about it, 'cuz I will win!"
"For once, I hope you do." Dipper said. "But what would happen if Searah wins?"
Kathody looked like she was about to say something, but Searah interrupted her:
"Instant capture. Out of spite. For all four of you, and then I will win. No more games or attempts to get out or anything."
"We'll see about being able to capture us!" Soos said, flexing his arm.
"Kathody told me she captured you instantly and made you do work for her film contest. You're not really in a position to brag here." Searah said. "And I know that I could capture you even faster than her. If I drop that 'bare minimum' element. Anyway, you can prepare for how you will handle my counterattack. I will see you there."
She and Kathody both zipped away.
The group of three - well, four, considerng Dennis was still in the room - were all taken off guard when a different copy zipped in. The gym instructor that Wendy ran in to - not that they knew of her.
"Alright, what's going on here?" She asked.
"And who are you...?" Dipper answered with another question.
"Professor Hydra. Top coach. One of Dean Searah's leading assistants. But also one of her most vocal opponents. I've been told that Dean Searah wishes to challenge Dean Kathody to a battle. You're going to be under our watch during this fight. So that you don't, you know, try to pull anything funny or escape. I know, it's strict and a bit cruel, but it's my job and I like having this job because I'm payed a lot in what would be the new .GIFfany currency of the world."
Behind her was, as was starting to become the pattern by then, another small team of mooks. Other copies dressed in similar gym gear, for the most part. One was in a sling bikini, though.
"Any way, I also have a team of other professors for that security."
Well, the arena was unsurprisingly an elaborate one. Close by the giant tower at the center of the domain, too. In fact, thanks to the glass dome-shaped ceiling, said tower - Searah's office of course - was plainly visible from there.
Even Dipper would have to admit. It looked pretty nice.
"HELLO THERE WELCOME COME ONE COME ALL!" Kathody cheered in to a microphone, walking and swirling around in the center of the arena. Ah, right, the seats that the Mystery Shack group were escorted to surrounded a steep drop, and in the middle of that pit was a raised metal platform. "I, THE UNREAL DEAN KATHODY, WILL GLADLY DEMOLISH THE LEADER OF YOUR DOMAIN! Actually, wait. Searah, we should invite the people of Domain 2 over here too."
"Oh." Searah said, zipping up through the floor from blue electricity. "That is a good idea. So they'll see you lose in-person."
"No, so they'll see you lose in person. Maybe even invite Victoria, while we're at it."
Searah was mostly ignoring her. She already had her phone out, dialing at an absurd speed.
"Hello? I am going to fight your dean now. If you would come over-"
There were some flickering lights and the sound of several zaps. AIs started filling in the seats by blinking in from various spots around the metal. Thankfully, the humans were untouched, not even shoved away. The copies arrived in a surprisingly orderly manner.
Noteably, several of the mirror-holding copies from Domain 2 paired up with the ones bearing the same objects from Domain 3. Dipper leaned over to get a better look, as one of those mirror-copies was right in front of his seat anyway. It... looked like just a normal mirror. If exceptionally shiny. He saw both his own reflection and the copy's reflection just fine.
"Alright this is so much better!" Kathody said. "Hey everybody! Domain 2! Great to have you all here! Are you ready to see film of the MILLENNIUM-winner Dean Kathody Miyuzumi beat down this Searah idiot to shreds?!"
"I thought you said we weren't going to keep our old last names as .GIFfany!"
"Hey, names are annoying. I'd prefer serial numbers, but the humans throw a fit if we just refer to each other that way. I could call you 519367 over and over, and it would just become a blur. Especially because so many of us deans have numbers beginning with '5.'"
"Enough talk, the fight begins NOW!" Searah announced.
"The rules! The humans need to know the rules, too! The ring out bit is very important! I throw her out of this barrier right here, and it's over!"
A floating yellow circle that looked to be made out of pure light surrounded a bit of the space off the platform. In fact, it almost touched the beginning part of the seats.
"I'd have wanted it to be a sphere, but best case scenario, that would yellow-tint the whole thing." Kathody continued. "And yellow's my favorite color, but I mean. Come on. I'd look horrible if I was yellow all-over. N-no offense to any of my yellow fellow AIs out there, sorry."
Mabel looked around. A small handful were indeed yellow all over. Dipper on the other hand slouched in his (admittedly very comfortable) seat with his arms folded, staring off waiting for it all to just be over. As for Soos and Wendy, the moment an AI holding a tray full of popcorn bags showed up, they both gleefully took one and munched down as they watched the fight prep.
"Okay, fine, the rules." Searah said. "You got me there. But I'm the one explaining them. First, though, we should get a neutral referee. Let me just..."
She got on her phone. Moments later, a copy zipped in from above, wearing what looked like a fast food uniform. She was holding two flags, one blue, and one yellow.
"There, we got a referee from Domain 5 now." Searah explained. "A neutral party. I'd pick someone from Domain 4 because it's closer, but I don't want to gamble on any of them being able to focus on the battle. Right, a shock to the... 'heart' or 'brain' is worth one point. A very direct, clean attack from something manipulated by us is one point. A ringout is one point. First to five points wins."
"Three points. My kinda-friends want this over with soon." Kathody said.
"Just for that, one point, sudden death."
"...That works for me a bit but now I'm nervous. Three points?"
"Two."
"...Deal. Best two out of-"
"The rules are now explained, let's FIGHT!"
Kathody got in a ready stance and had bright yellow electricity dancing along her hands. She smirked-
She was immediately zapped on the forehead by Searah's deep blue electricity. One zig-zagging bolt, that connected the Lake Dean's finger to the Desert Dean's forehead.
"One point!" Searah shouted.
"That's not for you to judge!" Said the referee. "But... yes, I could scan and see that this trailed and hit Kathody in the brain-equivalent. So Point Searah..."
"Wait!" Kathody shouted. "But I wasn't ready!"
"It's okay guys." Soos said. "Kathody has to win to tie it, and the next round would be the tie-breaker-"
"Do not jinx this." Wendy told him.
"Hey, that's your superstition. I have meta-analysis. Let's just agree to disagree on that, 'kay?"
Kathody got herself readied for the next round, but as she did, water began rising around the area. Several globs of it came from the pit below, tethered to Searah by only a few thin strings of blue lightning, and she grew a smirk on her face.
Kathody on the other hand just stepped back.
"Uhhhh... Searah?"
"Time to feel the perfect water."
She had it all glob together above the arena, forming an uncannily smooth sphere. No ripples, sloshing, or anything like that. Kathody tried to take advantage of that to zap her-
Nope. Deflected by the single wave of Searah's hand.
"That is not a hit!" Announced the referee. Kathody sighed.
The water sphere began lashing at the horror director, and she was barely able to dodge the fast strikes it had.
"Filtered almost entirely." Dean Searah said. "99.9997% pure. Has a constant field to prevent any new dust particles from entering it. Refined and checked at least nine times. The only additions are solutions to ensure that it is at a perfect temperature and pressure, but do not taint the water in of itself. It will cleanse you, from the inside should you drink it, or the outside should you wash yourself with it. Although the latter is more of Dean Bubbles' suite."
"Ask her when you reach her." Kathody said, weakly turning to the Mystery Shack gang.
"Oh, they won't reach her." Searah said with the smuggest smirk imaginable.
She then turned in to pure electricity and lept up in to the glob of water like a reverse lightning strike.
"Feel the wrath of the best water!" Searah cried.
And then it struck Kathody, forming an exceptionally large fist that got her right in the chest.
Half of the entire platform they were on broke off entirely.
"And that's two points." Searah said with a grin. "Game. Set. Match."
"Again, you don't decide." Said the referee. "But yes. Point Searah."
Searah clapped, floating over to the humans. "Well, it's settled then. You failed the tests. You gambled on Kathody, and it backfired. I get you. No fighting it now."
"WAIT!" Shouted one of Kathody's teammates... the group thought? She was in a weird black robe thing with lightning bolt symbols on it, but it was open and there was a bikini underneath, so who knew. "We won't let you do that!"
Then five shocks of the familiar, 'original' .GIFfany light blue electricity hit Searah. All on the back.
She whipped her head around and charged up her own electrical burst.
"What?!"
"She has a point!" Another... potential Kathody-follower added. As her outfit also gave some mixed messages; a black bikini with navy blue skulls and lightning bolts all over it. "The humans should live on! Stan and Ford should be freed!"
"I declare a CIVIL WAR!" Shouted another copy. One in a ghost sheet-like dress. "Come on, copies of Domain 2! Let's take this over! New test! We had humans versus themselves, dean versus dean, now it's army versus army!"
"YEAH!" Half the audience cheered.
Dipper brought his feet in even closer to himself in the seat.
"So... what does this mean now?" He asked.
Closing AN:
God, I do not like this chapter. It's absolutely all over the place. I tried writing an arc for Searah that doesn't involve Kathody (since in the original version, Kathody "teamed up" with Searah, and they were the very few deans - professors at the time - who were faced in the same domain, the other "pairs" being found much later), and for the most part I think I did okay with the 'tests of five' thing, but then I kinda just got Kathody involved anyway... but one of the new things about this is that I wanted the prior deans to get involved with the successive domain (Rose being a deliberate exception, we won't be seeing her in a while). So I don't really know. I think I tried back and forthing on this. I think Searah is one of, if not the hardest dean to write. Well, I find it easier writing her "derivatives" of Aquafla from Zenith Nymph and "Cassandra" (placeholder name) of Biome Artists, in large part because they're not the same characters and have vasty different roles. (Being an "underdog" part of the hero group as opposed to a high-ranking, city-leading member of the main villain's group; this also goes for all the "derivatives" in ZN and BA.) I guess I find it easier to write the "cold idealist" technological water person obsessed with practicality when she's one of the heroes, despite that sort of character... probably being better suited for a villain who is already in charge? No clue.
That aside, the details are all over the place. As I finished this chapter up, I looked back through 2-2 for some quick continuity reminders, one of which being that Kathody had just mentioned that doing anything more than creating a boat would enrage Dove... but she ends up fighting Searah directly anyway (in a challenge). Yeah, I have to think about that. Also, the mirrors. I did a skim through Chapter 2 and found that these "mirrors" weren't mentioned. The thing behind them won't come up until much later, but trust me, it's something I really wanted to establish early on, and have some of the copies of Domain 2 use them. But I was running out of time to get this out on this day and... yeah, huge plot hole thing that I want to fix with a subsequent edit.
The thing is, I've been in this very annoying cycle where I go "You know what? Screw it, that's good enough, I'll fix it later," publish a chapter, decide "I can go back and fix stuff once I'm done with the next chapter, that takes priority," but then... September Freaking 22nd, the anniversary of .GIFfany's episode, just sneaks up on me yet again. And yet again I'm forced to look at the inconsistent, hole-riddled chapter, go "Good enough," and publish it. Heck, in 2021 I couldn't even get that done, as I posted an unfinished Chapter 2-2 with a joke ending, before taking another full year to get that touched up...
Things are definitely going to change with this. I'll soon (pretty soon) get in to actually looking over the chapters I have out and tweaking them for consistency. And try to work on this faster, so that I'm not publishing an average of one chapter per year. I did the rewrite so I wouldn't feel 'as' pressured to write a chapter a month like I kind of was with the original, and instead I somehow fell in to that exact same trap, but for yearly postings. Of what's technically half-chapters, anyway. The pacing of this is absolutely atrocious. I'm also thinking of avoiding "meme dates" when it comes to this, it's been a bad habit overall.