I do not own the Inheritance Series.
I'll continue to edit this over the next few weeks.
I could be wrong on certain things in this chapter but I don't think I am. I did enough rereading and looking through websites and nothing I read will contradict what you're going to read. Hopefully, I didn't misunderstand something but if I did, oh well, I'm not changing it now.
I had to end this chapter much earlier that I intended to. Originally it was double in length to get to where I wanted but I don't think that I'll be continuing to write long chapters like the last one...
Please, let me know your thoughts, and as always, enjoy,
Chapter Five
Lament of Wilting Larkspur
She stopped to catch her breath, to admire for a moment, no matter how short the moment was, the jagged mountains of cold stone that rose before. It was so steep that it made her want to turn back around in despair. As a child, climbing was something she had done many times, and knew that the first foothold was always the most difficult. That while gripping that cold, hard precipice the ground would level out beneath her, and when she looked back, down at the sun-drenched landscape, her breath would catch in her throat. But this was not a mountain for her to climb. It was not a place where stone and flesh would meet, and the shadows of the mountain would be driven away by the gold light of the sun. This was not where she would stand high above and see the vantage point before her like a long and winding road.
These mountains were to admire as they were the only thing pleasant to look at. The rest of the landscape while lovely with it's sweeping valleys and sweet grass spoke only of the burdening drudgery its people shouldered. The too thin men and women and children whose childhood ended long before, beginning the moment they could complete simplest of commands, and continued until they breathed their last.
There was never a sight that sorrowed her as much as them, and she could not look long before her breath got caught in her throat. Nor could she afford to be distracted for long. It was delicate balance, like holding a blade on fingertips, it would be easy to mistakably let one side out weight the other, leaving the whole thing to clatter to the ground.
She felt a nudge her from within her mind, warning, and turned away to fake interest in whatever conversation was being had once again. It was dull enough talk about supposed ravagers that been attacking the camps of the regions, in search of supplies for the upcoming winter and disrupting the work and in some places putting a complete stop it altogether. There were also rumors of urgals migrating through the area, headed south for whatever reason the creatures might have. To create strife perhaps, in hopes of a worthy and honorable fight if they cared for such things. It was not something she thought they would find if they continued but rather flame and blood and misery.
A part of her, a rather large part, was more than glad that she would not be part of what was about to come. Of the slaughter that was soon to take place. This too was talked about and she listened, only chiming in whenever invited to give her own ideas or thoughts on the matter. She had a good mind, as Morzan had told her before dragging her out here, but it needed sharpened. As it stood now it dulled blade. Her intelligence was her only true asset, the only thing that she had inherited from her mother. The rest of who she was, the weaknesses that he called out, were created from her life of isolation within the elven forest. Born from an imagination having grown out of control, rendering her infantile in her unworldliness.
It was well known to her who he blamed for this, and she didn't so much of think of Brom within his presence. Not anymore. Not now that she knew for certain that Morzan freely read her thoughts like one might read a book. That he was unbothered with the obvious intrusion, and had refused to teach her guard her mind. He said that he would never place her in a situation that called for the skill, and she would likely spending most of her days within Greynsi and when she was away, he would be by her side to protect her such threats, and so, there was no point.
His words dug into her skin like tiny thistles; scratching and aching at raw skin. It made her think that he must see her as one of his possessions. A creature to own, and no real person at all. That to him she only different than the slaves of the encampment but only because the blood she shared with the man. It was because of that, the fact she was she his daughter, that she was treated both better and worse.
His treatment of her that was the force of a water drop that hollows the stone; small when but repetitive wears it down to nothing but empty air. She didn't like who he was shaping her to be, thinking that she hadn't become a watered-down version who she had once been. Someone who was easy to go unnoticed as she slipped through the shadows, easily fading into the background. There were times this would fade away like the morning mist, and the person she remembered rose within her but that girl had grown sharp edges and when she spoke, the words cut deep like seeping wounds. Bond and unapologetic, wild and reckless. Words that fell onto the fields of her mind like burning cinder during a drought. The fire that ravaged afterwards burning for days to come, leaving the land behind completely unrecognizable.
She still thought herself as Meri, no matter who that might now be. It was a piece of herself that she wasn't quite willing to yet give up. That no matter what her true and proper name was or who she had become, she would always be able to hold onto the smallest, most basic piece of herself. Even if it was the most basic part. The rest didn't seem to matter as much anymore and so long as she was breathing, it couldn't matter. For now, the beating heart in her chest was enough to tell her that she was alive, and that had to be enough.
Meri shifted her feet as the conversation turned and she had to pay attention in full. Listen for what would happening so that she could send word to Morzan's men in time so that they could properly act. It was not something that she would fail and run the risk of dealing with the consequences.
Failing wasn't an option, and so when she was dismissed, she stepped towards The Beast, who was tormenting a goat with his massive claws, like a cat might with their prey. The goat's panicked baying echoed against the wooden walls of the encampment but even so Morzan had yet to put an end his creature's play as he normally would.
When she was close enough, still within The Beast's reach but far enough to be able to run if needed, she pulled out a piece of parchment and a small book and began to write down all that she remembered. By the time she was finished, she looked up to see Morzan striding toward her.
"You did well today," he told her, holding out his hand towards the paper. "If I may?"
Wordlessly, she handed it over and waited until he looked up from reading it over. "I believe that I got everything correct," she said, taking back the parchment and folding it. She didn't believe, she knew and she knew because he had yet to say otherwise.
"And you have," he conformed, placing his hands behind his back. He looked over the crumbling wooden buildings surrounding them with a frown. "I'm ready to leave this wretched place, if you are. Shall we?"
Meri nodded and folded up the paper to place in between the pages of her book, where it would stay until they reached Greynsi. There she would hide herself in the library with a stack of parchment and write out the order before sending them off. It would likely be a late night but she was used to staying up until the midnight hours now. Used to working until her eyes could no longer remain open and her mind became dumb with exhaustion.
Until then, she had perhaps little more than an hour until their arrive, and she chose to use it to rest her eyes. She never quite fell asleep whenever The Beast flew through the skies, nor was she completely awake but some strange state in-between where she was aware of everything but responded to nothing. Where when she opened her eyes to see the courtyard of Greynsi, she felt refreshed as she had slept a long while.
She had only flown on The Beast a handful of times but found that none of them seemed to get any better, and that she loathed the whole experience. It was so vastly different from any other of travel with the cold rush of air, that stung her eyes and face and exposed skin. She couldn't help but compare it to riding a horse, and how horses offered a sense of freedom, their muscles working hard beneath their rider as they rushed over land whereas the dragon offered nothing but the discomfort of open air.
.
When they arrived at Greynsi, and she readied herself to head inside the keep, Morzan called her over, "Come here, my child, I wish to speak with you briefly before you go."
He was caring for The Beast and so his back was turned to her. It was something he did whenever the creature flew; wiping down its scales, looking over its bulk for any sign of injury. No one else could get close enough to it to do so, all duties fell upon its master, and she thought it was something he did not mind. She thought that perhaps, he even loved The Beast. If such a thing was possible.
Meri stepped as close to the dragon as she dared to go, and shifted uneasily on her feet. She cast The Beast a quick look of dislike before forcing a mask into place. "Yes, my lord?"
"I do not know how long I shall be gone and, as you know, this situation could take weeks to resolve," he began, and she felt herself stiffen at his tone. Whatever he was going to say, she knew that she wasn't going to like it, and from the stiffness in his shoulders, Morzan seemed as thrilled as she. It made her wonder briefly what she could have done, and if there was a small chance his irritation hadn't anything to do with her at all. "Upon my return we shall leaving together to the Capital. The King has requested that he meet you before the year comes to a close and, though I loathe to think of it, I shall not deny him."
She frowned, fighting down the dread rising within her. "You've mentioned before that I would not be ready for such a meet for some time yet, and forgive me for being so bold but I do not think I'm prepared."
"You are not," Morzan agreed, "however there is time to prepare which is the reason for this conversation. It would be best if you set time aside to ready yourself so you don't shame either of us. Pethel will be able to advise you in some of the courtesies. She knows them well."
"I'll ask her in the morning," she promised, and then as he nodded, she asked, "I'm merely curious, did he give a reason for his summons?"
Morzan glanced at her, and patting The Beast's leg, he stepped away. "You do not believe that being my daughter is enough of a reason for him," he said. It was not a question, and he wasn't wrong. "He did not say anything beyond that he wanted to meet you but know that The King believes me to be squandering your talents." He paused here and reached over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "He says that you have the protentional to accomplish much more if you were given the opportunity. While I agree with him that you could do well, and in your time here there's been improvement, there is still much that renders you incompetent."
Meri bit her tongue to keep herself from speaking, and looked away. "I understand," she said after a moment. "And it seems I have much to do tonight. May I take my leave, my lord?"
Morzan simply waved her away and went back to caring for The Beast. She stepped away from him into the Keep, and shut the door behind her with more force than necessary. It was some time before she settled herself enough to head into the library to work, choosing to begin after supper but only after she has walked off her nerves and finished silently cursing the King, and Morzan, and lastly, herself for being trapped within the fortress and unable to leave. For having to wait around like a heifer being prepared for slaughter.
…
…
It had been less than a year since she had taken oaths, and mere months since Morzan's harsh lesson in the courtyard but it felt as if it had been a lifetime. It felt to her as it marked some great change in her life. That since then, time had simultaneously hastened and slowed down.
Not long after that day, Morzan sat her down and demanded as much detail as she knew about her brother and the dragon. She had never seen him so angry at her before, even then, days after he had discovered her deception. It should have been enough to time to calm down but he was more riled than he had been in the courtyard. Standing over her as she spoke; her words tumbling from her lips without permission with each sharp remark he made. Every memory she had with her brother, her annoyances and her affections, Morzan now knew but it was not enough. Meri hadn't seen her brother in years and did not know all the details he sought, and he could not seek them out himself unless he intended to free her which he would not.
"It was unwise for you to deceive me," he told her, as she readied herself to return to her rooms. He stood and walked over to her, taking her chin in his hand and forcing their gazes to meet. His mismatched eyes drove needles into her but she did not dare look away. "And you are insolent in choosing to oppose me. Should I decide to I could take all your power, you would be unable to move so much as a finger without my permission. Perhaps I would leave you a little will as a courtesy but I do not wish walk this path. It is my wish to continue honoring you as my daughter, Muirgheal, however know that I will not permit such behavior again." He released her then and stepped back. "If there is anything else you have to say, now is the time to give it voice. I'll be forgiving you only this once."
Meri had nothing, no more secrets were hidden within her, and looked at the ground in defeat. She knew that she would be punished for her move against him but she was caught off guard by his threat. It would be something that would haunt her late into the night, keeping her from sleep, and forcing her to wander the gardens in hopes of peace. Never before had it occurred to her that such a thing was possible. That one could take another's will from them completely, and force them act as nothing more than a living, breathing puppet. It was not a price that she would be willing to pay.
For the next week she was locked inside her rooms, permitted only to leave when Morzan summoned her to work with him in his tower but she had predicted this when she had planned her deception. It wasn't treatment that she was looking forward to but by now, she had grown used to it, and spent her time idly reading what she had been permitted to keep. This was a price she was willing if it gave Eragon leeway, and would pay it over again a hundred times, if she had to. If it meant protecting her younger brother.
In her mind he was the same scrawny boy who had infuriated her beyond belief when they were children. A boy who been asked to sacrifice his childhood and his life for a mission that was greater than he was. Eragon had gone to heart of the elven lands knowing what was being asked of him, knowing that he was giving up his family and his plans for life, and he had gone off with a smile. It had angered her at the time when she saw him leave, and for years afterwards, it sorrowed her, thinking that somehow, she had failed protecting her brother as she had Tessie. She had been too childish to understand what it meant to give up a piece of herself for the greater good but now she thought she did, and there was no comfort in that knowing.
Meri wished that there was a way to let Eragon know that, for now, he was protected from Morzan. However, there was no way, and she could not send bird a message to Carvahall, if indeed her family was still there, without it being discovered. So instead, she hoped that her brother would keep his head down, despite it not being his way, and stay with the elves and learn like he was supposed to until he was strong enough to take on both Morzan and the King.
Meri hoped she would be strong enough until that time came and she could take her leave, having no more reason to stay. Her family, she concluded, would be cocooned away elsewhere by then and safe enough until she could warn them. She wasn't planning her escape from Greynsi, it was just wishful thinking, and so she got away these thoughts. If Morzan knew about them, he didn't do or say nanthing for the moment but she didn't doubt that he was planning something.
He was always planning something. That's how he had survived so long when so many of his colleagues had not. There was a plan for everything, and those plans were always being improved upon until they were nearly flawless. It was as if he saw the world like a game of The Butchering Block, and each move was calculated as well as every counter move. Meri had learned this about him over the winter when he pulled out an ornate set for them to play in the evenings. It shouldn't have been surprised her that he had the game and knew how to play but it did.
He always beat her, every single round, and when he was finished, he'd sit back and look over the board and tell her why she had lost. They were lessons, she realized later and began to pay attention to them but sometimes they were the same words repeatedly as he were merely reminding her. "It's the accumulation of small advantages that lead to a long-term victory," he had told her, that first night, clearing the board. "You might win the battle if you choose to be 'good enough' but you'll lose the war. This thinking you have why you've lost today. You weren't willing to make the necessary sacrifices to accomplish what's needed to win."
In the last months, she had begun to play the game differently, taking his advice to heart, and thought she had made herself somewhat of a challenge for him. At least, he no longer told her that she wasn't willing to make sacrifices or any other unsolicited insight but remained oddly silent, his face completely blank. Meri didn't know if it was a good thing or not but would excuse herself for bed he began drinking from his decanter. There was no telling what would happen if she stuck around longer than that.
Morzan likely credited himself for the change but she knew who had taught her to true strategy; more than just finding her enemy's weaknesses and using that to her advantage. Her mother might have paved the way but was it Tornac who built upon the foundation of that knowledge. Whether he had been a traitor to the Crown or not, he had been a man of great brilliance and during his short time with her he had taught her much more than Morzan likely had charged him with.
She still thought him occasionally and whenever she did, she fought back the memory of his beheading; of how the sword felt in her hands as it swung through the air before connecting with his flesh. It wasn't something she liked to recall. Killing, in general wasn't something she liked to think about.
Beyond the old swordmaster, she had only killed someone thrice, and two of those times had been by Morzan's command, but the other he was not there for and she had been left with little choice. Even so, it had been her own choice when her life was in danger. No one knew how the assassin had managed to sneak into the solar room, nor did they know who sent him. And he didn't live long enough to tell of it.
It troubled her how she felt nothing when she killed the man. How she thought that it would stir something within her heart and when nothing came, she had walked away from him to find someone take care the body. Meri wondered if this had been what it had been like for her mother; how small events led her down a path of blood and violence, the role she had willing taken as Morzan's assassin and spy, and Meri wondered if she would become like her. She hoped that she would not, and that cruelness hadn't yet to fully take seed within her heart.
Sometime after the assassin had broken into his fortress and she had been forced to use her sword as a glorified club, Morzan took Aconitum and shed the enchant on it, once again rendering it useful. He had given her a wicked looking knife as well, saying that there was always the chance that it wouldn't be the last time such an attack occurred and that he had many such enemies. Enemies that were now hers, due the association of him being her father becoming known. He blamed Tornac for this but Meri did believe that it had been the old swordmaster's doing, and that the two were wholly unrelated.
Even so, she kept the knife hidden inside her boot, and at night as she crawled into bed, it was placed beneath her pillow and she slept with her hand curled around its hilt. No attack came after that first however, and she thought it was more than likely that Morzan had tightened the defenses of his castle. Or perhaps it was because after this event, he began to take her with him occasionally whenever he left Greynsi, making it harder for anyone to predict her schedule.
When she was abandoned within the walls of Greynsi she spent the majority of her alone either working in the library or a small room Morzan had permitted to her use a workplace, or more often in the late evenings wondering the grounds. She used her rooms only for sleep, thinking that even that was too much time there and found no true comfort within their walls.
There was no comfort inside the walled of Greynsi at all, and now she saw as a cage keeping her from the freedom of the open air. Barring her inside its walls as if she were a caged animal never meant to leave. Morzan meant for her to life her entire life there and die on his grounds, and there was nothing she desired less.
Often, she found herself looking over the stone walls with contempt as something she did not like grew within her. Meri thought it to be a viper, like one of the serpents Morzan kept locked within his office, with dim eyes and long pointed fangs. She thought that it lay coiled with her belly, dormant for now, waiting patiently for the moment to strike. That when it did the creature's venom would not be kind to her, twisting her and shaping her further away girl she had once been. Or perhaps its poison would ravage through her blood like fire and kill her, and she couldn't decide if that would be a mercy or not.
The only place she felt safe from it was inside the kitchens but she had to mindful of how often she sought refuge there, and to only go after she made certain that Morzan was not in his fortress. Whenever she could, she would spend her time there, seated at a small table away from its heart where the servants were hard at work.
The smell of baking bread and the ever-crackling laugh of the fire within the hearth grounded her, and she thought to be the best place to sit and read or to hide away. And though she was never allowed to join them in their work, she began to befriend Orla and her sister despite knowing that their friendship could never go beyond the kitchens. She found herself feeling lighter around them, even joining in on their banter and carefree chatter. It reminded her, with a painful ping, of her own relationship with her siblings and her life before Greynsi.
When the sisters were not there, she read or watched the workers wistfully. Her mind elsewhere, far from the castle as she daydreamed about another life. A life far, far away from the one she lived, and when it became too much the viper's eye cracked open, she would leave and walk the grounds outside the kitchen door. There were chickens there, and pigs and cows, locked away inside fenced pens, and in the center was a garden growing greens and fruits that would soon be harvested and eaten.
Meri walked through this area slowly stopping at times to pat a cow's head whenever it peered out curiously. She'd walk and think and sometimes forget, until she came to the gate leading to the gardens, and there hide herself amongst the blooming petals. There was little to do there, and so she began watching the guards again and learned their patterns. It was just to know, she told herself, should another of Morzan's enemies show face and nothing more.
Their schedule hadn't been hard to figure out, even if it did change every few weeks; it was still predictable. It was too easy of a pattern and though she should tell Morzan- the oath squirmed inside her urging her to- she did not, and wouldn't so long as he did not ask.
During one of her nightly walks, less than a week after Morzan had left to deal with the revengers, when she was both watching the guard and studying the stars, she thought she saw something move within the shadows in the distance. Meri's hand reached for her sword, grasping its hilt and called out it. Nothing answered, and when she backed away, out of the corner of her eye there was movement within the flowers. She thought that perhaps her eyes were playing tricks on her. Creating images from the darkness as the searched for something, anything, to see in the blackness. Even so her hold on Aconitum tightened and as she stepped towards it, she readied herself should there be an attack, just in case.
She didn't know what she was expecting but seeing an elf step into the moonlight was not it. They stared at each other for a heartbeat as her fingers rose to her lips automatically in greeting. It was one of the elves that come to her home within the forest, she had realized when this he did the same and the customary greeting was exchanged. Her time within Greynsi hadn't taken that curtesy from her. There were these pieces of her still laying within dormant, like the creatures of winter as they waited for a time to awaken, and whenever they did, it always stirred up memories she wished she could forget.
"You're both wasting time," a voice grumbled from within the shadows. "We don't have long."
Meri startled turning towards the voice, her heart began beating quickly. She fought against the urge to go toward them but it wasn't hard, the oaths she had taken forbid it. Instead, she called out as loudly as she dared, hoping no one but them would hear, "Neither of you should be here. I don't know what your aim is but I won't be leaving with you. I cannot leave here."
"You cannot not or you will not?" questioned the elf, likely seeking better understanding.
She pinned him with a narrow look. "It's clear to see that you have ears, must I really repeat myself?" she snarked, stepping away from him. Away from her papa who she knew was hiding beneath the shade of the pergola. "You should leave this place. I can only pretend that I haven't seen you for so long before I'll have to raise alarms. Morzan's men will pursue you once I do and it'd be best to put distance between you and them."
She stepped further away, deeper into the flowers, as Brom walked into the light. She matched his steps until finally he stood still. "We didn't come all this way to leave you here," he told her. "Meri, I looked everywhere-"
"Don't! Don't you lie to me! You knew exactly where I was and who I was with," she hissed at him as the viper inside her rose its head, "You knew this whole time and you just left me here. I've been here for years! Did you even bother to try to get to me before now, or were you too busy loving your real children to even bother?"
Papa closed his eyes briefly and took in a deep breath, other than that, if he had been hurt by her words, he didn't show it. She scoffed at him and looked towards the stars, seeking out their comfort for only a heartbeat. Nothing was found save their icy light, glittering in the black tapestry of the sky. Tonight, they offered her no solace.
"Of course, I did. I care for you as much I do your siblings," he whispered taking another step towards her. This time she did not move away. "Everything I've done was done for you as much it was them. You have no idea what risks were taken to draw Morzan away so we could get inside here and get to you."
"That's a load of hogwash!" In that moment she felt her who body tighten as she were readying to fight. Her hand clenching around Aconitum as she pulled it out, and her body shifted as anger coursed through her. "You shouldn't have bothered, and saved yourself and everyone else the risk. Morzan won't be forgiving when he hears about tonight. He'll come after you."
"Don't worry about Morzan," Brom told her.
"I won't worry about him when you stop patronizing me! I'm no longer a child who needs to be coddled nor am I an imbecile!" she replied acidly. "I've seen enough good men die because of him to know what he's capable of. You should leave me where I am. It's too late now!"
"If this keeps up the whole castle will know we're here. Its plain to see that she's taken oaths, Brom. Morzan has ailed her mind-" began the elf.
"There's nothing wrong with my mind, you butter-brained leaf licker!" Meri snapped turning on him. "But there's plenty wrong with you! Now shut your mouth!"
The elf went stone still, and she could not see him well enough to make out his expression. She knew that she was being unforgivably rude and he would unlikely forgive her words but she couldn't find it within herself to care. She'd worry about it later after they left. After this waking dream filled with both dread and hope had ebbed away, and she woke to find herself still bubbled away within impenetrable walls.
Brom was silent but she could almost feel his eyes on her. Studying her as he were searching for something. After a moment, he spoke, "What oaths have you taken?"
"Why does it matter? Your daring rescue came too late."
"It's important that we know what we're working with."
Meri scowled at him but said nothing as if daring him to act. A part of her wanted him to, hoped that he would. It was that same part of her that wanted to fight him, and she knew it would be a fight that she would not win. Not against the elf and certainly not against her papa. Even so, she knew that they would not be as cruel as Morzan when their blade raised, and would not be left battered on the ground, unable to move.
Brom huffed in annoyance. "As much as it saddens me to say it, Glenwing, I believe that you're right," muttered the man. He gave her a brief pained look, and then held out his hand. The silver scar on his palm flashed, and for the second time in her life she was forced to sleep.
…
When she woke up it was beneath a blanket of stars, their light beginning to fade as a new day began to break. Wind blew over the land freely, and without the hinderance of stone walls it tousling her hair. She curled into the blanket, her eyes still closed, and listened to the noise around her; the crackling laugh of the fire, the sounds of voices chattering softly, the rhythmic beat of someone tapping metal against stone, and the singsongs of the night creatures.
Meri would have been happy to stay in that moment for a lifetime, and she would have had someone not poked her with the toe of their boot. She turned her head, and blinked slowly at Brom having forgotten for the moment where she was and why she was there.
"If we release the spell, will you oppose us?" he asked in the Ancient Language.
It took her a heartbeat to realize what he meant; that her legs and arms were stuck together. She felt panic rise within her; her heart beat against her throat. "No," she replied, her voice higher than she intended it to be. "I don't think that I'd get very far doing so at this time so, no."
She felt the bounds of magic fade, and sat up to look around. Where ever they were, it was far from Greynsi. The land here was different; with long sweeping hills and tangles of woodland resting in their lows. Her knife and sword were nowhere in sight, and she still wore her clothes from the day before.
Meri glanced at Brom, studying him the light of the fire. His beard was longer than she remembered it being, and there was a scar she had never seen before near his ear but beyond this, in the years that had passed he had changed little, and his eyes not at all as if they were as eternal as the stars themselves.
It was Glenwing who spoke, "What oaths did he force you take, child?"
"Morzan didn't force my loyalty. I was given options and I chose what I thought was best," she told them, her eyes still on her papa's. She hoped that he would understand what she couldn't say. What the oaths forbid to give a voice to and what she simply could not. "It's important that I return to Greynsi. I don't think that you realize what exactly you have wrought taking me from there."
Brom scratched his beard, untroubled by her warning. "Did he use your True Name?" he asked.
Meri looked down in confusion. "Morzan had been very thorough when he gave his terms," she whispered carefully, hoping that it was enough. "I've never heard of such a thing."
Brom was silent for a time, his eyes on the fire before them. "You said he gave you options, what options were you given?"
To this she could not answer, no words would come out even if she tried to speak. "I can't tell you," she said. None of the anger she felt the night before stirred within her now but rather she felt hollow. Completely void of emotion, and her tone echoed this. "You need to let me leave and return before it's too late. I cannot stay with you."
"Too late for what?" he asked, and when she would not answer looking instead at her hands. He groaned. "Is it so hard to be forthcoming or were you sworn into silence?"
"If you wanted me to be honest with you than perhaps you should have listened when I told you to leave me in Greynsi instead of forcing me to sleep," she said, looking into the belly of the fire. When she looked away, it's light blinded her sight, scoring her papa's face. "I know you hadn't meant to be cruel but I can't simply forgive you for using magic against me. How am I to know that you won't shun my words once I say them and force the oath be broken against my will?"
"Would it your will or the will of the oath's?" Brom countered, and she found that she had no answer. "I highly doubt that you currently know what you do or don't want. That you aren't being controlled by whatever folly you agreed to."
"It wasn't foolish! I-" she stopped herself before she said anything more, and looked at her hands. She wanted to tell him that she had only done what he raised her to do but could not. It would do her no good to fight with him now. "Nothing I've done was done without thought," she began cautiously, "If you believe that you can free me than I can't tell you to do it just surely as I won't willingly be returning to Greynsi. I'll fight you against everything you do but I'll hold nothing against you."
Brom nodded and got to his feet. "We should speak of this further another time. For now, you should eat unless your oaths keep you from that, as well," he said briskly, digging through his saddlebags. When he returned, he dropped a cloth bag onto her lap, and she began looking through it. There was little there but everything inside was wrapped in waxed paper or tied off bags. As she broke the wax seal and unwrapped the paper, Brom spoke, "Your mother gave me strict orders, upon the pain of death, that you receive everything that bag. Whatever is in there has tempted me for weeks but I've not touched it."
Meri couldn't help the smile that broke over face at the sight of a sweet bun inside, and took a bite. It was slightly stale but better than her memory served. Not long ago she had convinced Orla to making the buns, and after telling her what she could remember being in them, she found a plate full of them in her rooms. It hadn't been the same, nothing like her mam made, but it was enough to starve off the aching inside her for a time.
As she ate, she glanced up to where the elf had been sitting, and saw that he was no longer there. She hadn't noticed that Glenwing had gotten up sometime during their conversation, and was now standing near the horses. It was far enough away where if he were human, he would not catch if she decided to run now but he was not, and she knew how quickly an elf could move. Any move she made now would be countered and she would lose that fight. For now, it was best to remain where she was.
Brom then began speaking quietly more to himself than her, she could not make out what he said, it was too soft. His words blew over her like the faintest of breezes and dove deep into her soul, as if they stirred a memory from before she was born. A pulse of flame flared up inside her. It didn't hurt, instead it was a strange fierce tingling that rang from her fingertips through her body. She felt more alive than she ever had before, as if her blood had suddenly woken after a long sleep. The pain that had been wriggling at the back of her mind since waking up faded until it was no more, and she looked up, meeting Brom's eyes in wonder.
All at once he fell quiet, and stood, helping her to her feet and embracing her. "I've always known who you were," Brom said, stooping down to kiss her brow, "and you haven't changed so much that you're unrecognizable." Meri didn't need to be told what he had done or what he meant, she knew what had happened, that he called to the depths of herself and unbound every chain Morzan had forced her to wrapped around herself. "Now why don't get you out those ridiculous clothes and go home."
Never before had anything sounded sweeter to her in her entire life.
…
…
It would take them little over a fortnight to reach home from where they had been camped across from the Toark River. More than enough time for Morzan to hear of her departure and act, a fact that she did not keep to herself but argued fervently with Brom about. She told him that they needed to be warned but he seemed unworried; saying that the Forsworn and his dragon were on a snipe's hunt, and was now far away and would be kept busy for quite some time yet.
She had been braiding her hair at the time, having already changed into a dark tunic and pair of trousers Brom had given her. The clothes fit well enough, but were a little big and had to be tied off with a belt, even so they were more comfortable than the gown she had been wearing.
She had tossed the dress into the fire the moment after she pulled off the pearl buttons later sell. Brom had looked at her questioningly when she did but he said nothing. Meri had little to say to him after their argument, and instead watched the sunrise as if she were entranced. A half drown man breathing air after being underwater too long.
As the sun completely banished the grey of morning Brom walked towards her, the reigns for the bronze roan, he had bought her mother in Ceunon, in his hands. He led another horse, this one as silver as a blade, but she did not recognize it. It took her a long moment, too long for her liking, to remember that Mam had delightedly named the roan Copperglow. That Meri had laughed at the childlike joy the woman had shown upon seeing the horse.
"Do you know what happened to Asrai?" she asked as he handed her the lead.
Brom shook his head. "We saw her once in the distance but she got spooked and ran before we could do anything," he told her. "There are wild herds in the north. Hopefully, she found and she joined one of them."
Sorrow gripped itself inside her and she looked away, feeling her eyes burn. There would be no more tears, she knew that she had already cried herself dry of them. It was just a horse, she told herself, a horse she might have loved dearly but knew upon getting her that their time together would be temporary. Where ever Asrai was now, there was nothing that could be done about it now.
"That would best," she said, thinking about the creatures she knew lingered within the northern forest. She ran her finger over the furs resting on the saddle before turning to Glenwing who had followed her papa. "I don't expect to be forgiven but I wish to apologize to you for my words within Greynsi. They were ill spoken and should not have been said."
"You were not fully yourself when they were spoken, and I don't suspect that I'll be hearing them again. It is good see you are no longer under Morzan's control, Meri, and haven't been completely lost to us," said the elf, and she did not correct him. Every word she said had been her own and she was wanted to say them. That want to hurt him had been all her. "This is where our journey together ends. I must take my leave and return to my people." He said this last part to the both of them.
"I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me and my family," said Brom. "It is a debt I cannot repay."
"As you have done for us, we only seek to do onto you. The gratitude is mine, Steelbringer," said the elf. "We shall soon meet again."
There were no formal farewells as the elf stepped away and ran off, quickly disappearing from sight. When he had gone, Brom mounted his horse and, following his lead, Meri did the same.
"I've kept him longer than I should have," said he, pushing his horse forward. "It's been a challenging last couple of weeks."
"It'll be a longer trip for us than it will for him. Are we riding for Carvahall?"
"What makes you think that we're going to Carvahall?" he asked, scratching his beard. His tone was serious. "Ahead of us is a crossroads, we could be going anywhere from here."
"That's where everyone is at, is it not?" Meri urged her horse forward so that the horses strode abreast. Them still being there made the most sense to her. It seemed like something her papa and mam would do. "Morzan brought me to Carvahall last autumn and I saw Mam on a farm. That's how he got me to pledge my loyalty to him. He gave a choice but it wasn't much of one." She paused, moving away as Papa's hands clenched around the reigns. "If we're going there, we cannot stay long. Now that I'm gone from Greynsi and our pact is broken, Morzan will come after them unless I return to him-"
"You're not going back to Morzan," growled out Brom.
She flinched and took a deep breath to calm herself. "If you're not going to listen to me then at least allow me to travel as a boy," she said quietly, turning away. "Morzan has spies all over the Empire and they'll know to look out to me but if I'm a boy they won't think twice. I could be your dumb son traveling to nowhere and no one would question it."
Brom said nothing for a time, and they rode on in silence. "There's a town with a decent market about two days from here. We can go there and buy what we need there," he said mildly as they crossed over a narrow bridge. "When did you get be so wily, my flower?"
"You're the one who taught me to wield blades and remain steadfast, maybe it happened around then," she said matching his tone, and then looked over the land. "If you wanted me to be easily cowed, you should not have taught to think like a man."
To this Brom said nothing but rather rode ahead. Whenever he looked back on her, she thought that he looked troubled. As there were words, he had to say but was unwilling to say them. It made the viper wiggle inside of her, coiling and uncoiling before slithering back to its burrow.
…
…
As they traveled, there were few words spoken. Brom asked her no questions about Morzan or what had happened within Greynsi allowing her bring it up in her own time. However she kept most of what happened to her to herself, the ferocious light gleaming within her papa's eyes whenever Morzan's name came up was enough to still her tongue. She hoped that that he would remain a distant figure her life from here on out, and could be forgotten. It was a naïve hope, Meri knew, that sitting around hoping would only lead to further pain. If she wanted a life free from Morzan, the world would have to be rid of him completely. She wondered if she was willing to wait for it, for Brom to kill him or if there might be a way do it herself but this was nonsensical that would lead her only to her grave.
When they did speak, he talked little about Mam and the children telling her what she already knew, that they had moved from the forest, and that she had another sibling. A boy named Iain who would soon be a year old and was already causing more trouble than should be possible in one so small. Mam has vowed that he'll be her last but mam had said the same about Elida and the rest of the babes that had followed. She would say it, again and again, but never did anything to prevent herself from having the coming child when it became known.
True to his word, when they came across a town with a small market Brom her a boy's cap and a hooded vest, saying that she would be not become sunsick as she would within the scorching depths of his cloak. She had peered out from the shadows but said nothing until they left town. When they had first come to the town Meri had refused to go into town with him until he offered his cloak, saying that with the hood, it would hide her face. It was the only way he could manage to convince her to come with him and not hide in the shadows of trees.
"If you want to be convincing, smear some dirt on your cheeks. Most people have dirt on them somewhere," he advised after they left town. "You keep yourself too clean to have traveled great distances. It's the little things that make someone stand out amongst a crowd."
Meri pursed her lips but walked to the side of the road and after returning his cloak, she did as he said. When she turned around, she saw that he was again on his horse and that he waiting for her. She hurried over and climbed onto Copperglow.
"If you have a question, ask it," he said, commanding his horse forward. "You know that I'm not opposed to answering you."
Upon his words, she discovered that the viper remained within her, lingering even after the unwinding of the oath. It stirred within her now as she turned over what she wanted to asked. "I know that you were once a Rider and have powers that rival Morzan. Why do you not use your magic more freely?" she asked finally.
"I'm not as powerful as I once was and magic takes energy," he told her simply. "I'm not going to use it thoughtlessly fling around to only to find I need that energy in a more drear situation. It's all about choosing what is best in what situation."
She doubted that was the whole truth but nodded and looked away, watching the hills in the distance for any life. There was none, and she thought that perhaps Morzan kept his spies in plain sight. Perhaps they were hidden better there, where everyone would see them but now know where to look.
…
Brom had them ride hard through the valley once they passed through Yazuac, stopping only late in the evening long after the sun had set and the land around them lay covered in dark shadows. As they rode, he had Meri tell him what had happened during her trip last year. The more she said, the darker his face became and when she told him of visiting her uncle's farm, she could say no more and kept the details to herself. She didn't want to speak of what happened there or the events of afterwards, and he did not press.
As they rode through Carvahall, she found that she could not speak at all and looking over the buildings with contempt. They reached Garrow's farm that afternoon, not long after the sun reached the apex of the sky. The whole way Meri's hands twisting around the reigns as she looked over the hills only stilling when she saw a figure standing near the road.
Mam was waiting outside near the broken fence flanking the farm. Her eyes didn't leave them as they drew closer, pinning on Meri as they got closer. Brom brought them to a stop beside her and slid from his horse, embracing the woman tightly before stepping away. He glanced at Meri who hadn't moved beyond returning to looking over the hills for any sign of movement.
"He's not out there, Meri. Why don't you get off the horse and come inside," said Brom to her, and then to her mother, "Morzan brought her by not last autumn to pay you a visit. They were in disguise and didn't show themselves but hid in the hills close enough to watch everyone. Once you're both inside, I'm going to expend the wards and strengthen them."
Mam's face paled, and she too looked over the hills. "He must have bordered the wards we set. I thought we had them far enough away to avoid being seen well," she muttered. Her eyes went back to her daughter watching as she sat unmoved.
No matter what they said, Meri wasn't convinced that Morzan wasn't already in the hills watching them now. Waiting in the shadows of the trees with his hand resting on the hilt of this sword, as he calculated his next move. She felt the heat of the moment pressing down on her growing heavier and heavier with each breath she took. Her legs felt weak, no longer able to hold her weight, and strong hands grabbing at her arms forcing her into place-
Brom's voice startled her: "Let's go inside and get something to eat. All this travel has made me weary."
"I'd like to come with you when you expend the wards. I can show you the route Morzan had us take as well as where we stood in the trees," said Meri, turning away from the hills, looking at him as she spoke, and then to her mam briefly before turning away. She couldn't look at her long before thinking of all the fear that had soared through her body like the greatest of tempests; of the descriptions written within the scrolls; of Morzan whispering in her ear as she held her in place; of Lord Pintches as squatted on her shoulder readied to strike; of all the threats that hung over her head like an axe. Her stomach rolled uneasily as the viper awaked from its long slumber, and she felt as if she were about to be ill. She pulled the reigns of her horse and commanded it to turn away. "It's not far from here. This way!"
As the horse trotted into the grass, she didn't see the look her mother and Brom shared or how he mounted his horse promising that they would meet her inside. She didn't see how her mam watched her ride away into the hills with a frown as her papa pushed his horse to catch up with her. All she could think about was getting as far away as possible from where the memories began to stir before they took over.
When she came to place Morzan had taken her the year before, she dismounted and looked around for sign of disturbance. There was no hoofprints. No disturbances in the grasses. She saw nothing save for squirrels chattering at her from within the trees, and wild grasses and flowers waving the breeze. It was as if no one had been there in ages.
Her papa pulled his horse next to her when he caught up, and she glanced up him. "We stood here," she told him, "and rode along that small deer path towards the old farm where Mam was raised."
He considered the view to the house below and then nodded. "Why don't we ride down the trail a short way before we go back," he suggested after a time.
She agreed and mounted the horse, following him as he rode ahead over the trail. After a time, Brom slowed his horse so that they were ride beside one another. "It's time to return, Meri. The horses deserve a rest and so do we," he told her, and when Meri turned her horse around: "What were you hoping to find?"
She frowned, and looked away choosing to say nothing. "I suppose that I was hoping to find nothing, just as we have. I would like to stay with you as you expend the wards, if I could," she said. "I'm not yet ready to return."
Her papa sighed but nodded and brought his horse to a halt, and after telling her watching over them, he walked back the way they came, muttering in the Ancient Language. Meri saw nothing change but knew that he was doing something, and slid down from Copperglow. She didn't know how long waited, but thought it to be hours, as she watched the birds swoop into the long grasses.
It been too long since she had sat outside where the wind was free. As she child she had hated having to remain still for longer than a heartbeat. Something about it hadn't suited her at all but here where the sun roamed over the land with no great shadows, where she could remain all day amongst the dandelions and clover seemed to be the most freeing of moments.
.
Once they returned to the farm, Brom led her to the barn. There were five goats rest beneath the shade, and as they entered, one of them got its feet and followed them curiously, its tail wiggling. Meri slid down from the roan and began to unsaddle him, setting the saddle on a bench near where a cow was tethered. Her mind was elsewhere during this time, far from the farm, and so when she heard footsteps hurrying towards her and the warning tone of her papa's voice, she spun around reaching for her knife before remembering that nothing was there, that her papa still had her weapons. She curled her hand into a fist instead and would have struck had Brom intervened.
He pulled a girl close to him by her arm, sending her stumbling into his chest. "That's close enough, Elida," he sternly said to the girl. "Do you remember what I told you?"
"You said you were bringing Mimi home, Papa," she chirped happily. Her blue eyes widened as she watched Meri take a step away from them. "I think you've been tricked and brought us an imposter. My sister would never wear boots."
"Go inside and tell your mother we'll be in right behind you," Brom said with huff. There was a smile peeking beneath his beard.
"Okay!" Elida turned around and threw her arms around him briefly before stepping away and running back into the cabin.
"Your sister isn't wrong," he said lightly, turning to her. "No matter how nice they might be, you voluntarily wear boots is not a sight I ever thought I'd live to see."
"Better boots than something daft like slipshoes," she replied tightly. "What did you tell them regarding my absence?"
Brom's smile fell away. "I told them the truth. They deserved to know where their sister and who she was with. Eragon knows as well and he's been rather upset since then. It's taken a lot of talking to keep him from acting. He's been adamant about leaving his training lately and to help me with my search."
"Is that why he was seen on the outskirts of Gil'ead?" she asked him thinking of the report that led her beating within Greynsi. "I knew that he was up to something but I never imagined that he might be on a gowk's errand."
"No, that had to do with something else." His tone gave away nothing. "We knew we were seen but not by who. I suppose most of the Empire knows by now. Why did Morzan not act when he received the news, do you know?"
Meri scowled at him. "I told you that Morzan gave me options concerning my loyalty with him. Those were my terms," she said lowly. "He couldn't act against our family so long as no one went against him or the Empire but now the terms are molt and he can do as he pleases. Tell Eragon to stay in the forest with the elves and keep out of trouble for a change."
"You didn't have to do that, Meri."
"I know but the other option was worse. No one would've been happy, and at least with what I had he could no longer openly threaten anyone. No matter the choice, him setting me free wasn't going to be amongst them. He meant to keep me there forever." She stepped around the horse towards the doorway and peered uneasily out into the field. "I know that you're probably planning to leave and strike against him but he'll have heard of my departure by now. Morzan will come here. It's foolish for us to stay, Papa. He doesn't care who he hurts, and I don't want to see anyone else killed because of him."
Her papa watched her for a short time before nodding. "For the time, its safer for us to remain where we are," he told her. "There are risks to us staying here but there will be risks no matter where we go."
"I think we should leave."
"And your reasoning is sound but so is mine. I've known Morzan longer than you, flower, and I know his ploys well. You're going to have to trust me with this." He nodded toward the small home. "I've kept you out here long enough. Your mother is aching to see you."
Meri nodded. "We just saw each other," she stated, unable to look him in the eye. She wasn't certain how she could go inside and pretend to be who she was before, as if the last years hadn't happened. She thought that if she did, perhaps she go back to being herself, as she pretended to be someone she was not within Greynsi until the lines of make believe and reality blurred until they were no more. But she didn't know how pretend to be that girl, and if she did she found no desire to.
He raised his hand as if to touch her cheek before he did, his hand fell to his side. "You can no longer continue delay us, it's time we go inside," he said hoarsely.
She was willing to try to delay him for a lifetime even that meant she starved but found no ways to do so. Far too soon they came to the house and stepped inside. The inside of the home was small, yet more spacious than their cabin had been, with enough room for a large table and hearth squatting across from it. Drying herbs and onion and garlic hung from the ceiling. There was a ladder beside a wooden door, leading to a loft above but whatever was up there, she couldn't see.
Mam was seated at the table with a glass pen in hand, looking over a small pile of papers. As they walked in, she set them aside and walked over and embraced Meri hard, kissing the top of her head. Meri did not cry as she had with her papa after he revealed her True Name but clung to her, trying to forget the viper that had grown inside her, it would never leave her having long ago built itself a home. Far too soon, Mam pulled away and she saw that the woman's eyes were wet.
"I've missed you, my sweet, more than you will ever know," she said, standing back and studying her face. "When Ida returned without you, we searched the woods for days, thinking you had hidden yourself there, and when we could not find you, I feared the worst. Had you too been lost to us forever I don't know what I'd do."
Meri didn't need to be told what her mam meant. That much of her family had been taken from them in one way or another while they were within that forest. Tessie to the spells of the river, Eragon to the elves, and then her eldest to a man better left in the pages of the past but she, Meri, had gone through that time without everyone to console her. It hadn't occurred to her until then that while they had each other, she had had no one. Not a single soul she could truly rely on save for herself. No one to relive the memories with, whether that was for better or worse. No one to remind her of what she had become. No one would know if she said nothing of it.
She turned and looked at her mam, truly looked at her for the first time and noticed, with a pang, that she was now taller. There was so much she had to say to her in that moment, so much she wanted to say but could not find the voice for them. Instead, she forced herself to smile, to pretend for the moment that the viper wasn't flickering its tongue as it tasted the air. "I've missed you too, even more than I can say," she heard herself say. "Where is everyone? Elida came by earlier but I didn't get a chance to greet her."
"It's just us for a time," said Mam. "I had Conan go to town with your cousin to run a few errands, Elida's watching the baby, and my brother is busy elsewhere. There's more to do here than there was in our old home but there's also more people so the work spreads out nicely."
"I honestly don't understand why you chose to come to here, out of all places," she said, looking around at the books and papers on a slab of wood, shoved against the wall. There were less of them than she knew they owned. Perhaps, she thought, they remained at the cabin still. She turned to her mam, swallowed. "My entire life I've heard about how unsafe it was to come to Carvahall because something or another. Whether there be family here or not, I cannot see how it was the wisest choice. Why not just stay in the forest? We have a home there."
"Not giving up on this, are you?" grumbled Brom as he shook his head. "I've already told you, Meri, this is the best place we could think of. After you were taken, we were exposed, and your mother needed somewhere safe to take the children where the Empire has little influence. Staying in Du Weldenvarden was no longer an option. We can't afford to risk our relationship with the elves and danger would be drawn that way had we not left." He settled himself on the bench, leaning against the table with his arms, and met her eyes. "We're close enough to The Spine where we can disappear into their peaks at a moment's notice, and your mother knows the region well. It won't be hard for us to disappear so that even Morzan and his dragon cannot find us. You said that he withdrew his spies from the valley, so we have this at our advantage. For the moment, unless you have any other reasons you haven't already voiced, its best for us to remain where we are."
Meri settled across the table and looked down at the wood, studying the marks on it. "Morzan owns land here. The farmland Garrow sold. I know that's not enough to convince you but you should know that he plans on building something there but doesn't yet know what," she told them.
Her parents said nothing but from the look between them, she knew that they were speaking amongst themselves as they often had throughout her childhood. "That's troubling," said her papa after a time. "Did he say why he bought it?"
"No, he didn't. He only said that he wanted to build something there." She stood and backed away from the table, leaning against the stone of the empty hearth. "This place seems like more than a simple farmhouse. Most homes I've seen have before coming here have one, perhaps, two rooms."
"Carvahall is unique in that. I like to think that it's part of the charm of this place," Mam told her. There was wistful smile on her face that seemed to speak of an unsaid joke. "It's always been my brother's wish to build himself a decent home similar to ones in town. When we were younger, he'd sit down at the table and draw out plans. Our father never cared much for his projects but he never stopped him from planning. I think that he thought that having a fine home on his father's land would be an honor." Mam stood then, and began to look over the small kitchen area as she began to prepare for a light supper of salted fish and cold kasha from that morning. It was too hot outside to have a fire going until nighttime. "When we got here, this house was smaller but we've since built onto it. Garrow likes his space, and he was none too happy when we first showed up on his doorstep. He's warmed up since then. I believe that's he glad to have a woman's touch in his home, and the revenue we all brought in after harvest last year has helped his outlook greatly."
Meri stepped over to her, taking the plate of salted fish being offered. "Does he know that you've filled his farmland with songs of magic to attain that harvest?"
"No," grumbled Brom from behind her, "and we plan to keep it that way. We've kept what he we could from him and his son. Garrow wouldn't take too kindly to the mentions of magic or dragons or elves. He's a good man, make no mistake, but he's lived his life in this valley and his mind is rooted in their ways. A traditional man by all respects." He was silent for a heartbeat, before stirring and he stood and opened the door for Elida. The girl grinned at him happily, her arms full of wiggling baby. "I don't doubt that you'll want to continue training with your blade, and I'm sure you've grown in your skill but you cannot do so on the farm. We have a place to practice away from here. Elida, here, would be more than happy to show you in the morn."
"Oh, yes, that I would," the girl said happily as Brom took the small child and held him close. "Can we go now? It's been ages upon ages since I've been able to spar! Mam's always busy and Uncle won't let Roran learn but we're working on that. Please, Mimi?"
To this Meri agreed, and watch uncertain how to help as Mam and Elida fell into an easy pattern of working together to set out food and prepare everything for supper. Bread was prepared, it would be left to sit as they ate, and Mam stepped outside. She returned not long later with a man.
"This is your eldest child? Meri, isn't it? Bit of an odd name for a boy." said the man. He was wiping his hands on a cloth but when Meri looked up at him, he tapped his head. "You should take that off. There's no reason for dishonesty in my home."
Catching onto what he was saying, her hand reached up to the cap and she pulled it off. Stray pieces of hair tumbled into her face. "I apologize. I'd forgotten I was wearing it, I meant no offense," she said quickly, getting to her feet.
Garrow, for she assumed that the man could be no one else, merely raised his eyebrows at Mam. "You're certain that she's yours and wasn't fairy'd as a babe? I've heard such things happen near the northern forests," he said solemnly.
"Stop it, Garrow." Mam frowned at him. "There's never been a doubt that she's mine."
He shrugged and sat down beside her. "I meant nothing by it. Your mother's given me much grief over the years and I'm merely paying what's due," he told Meri. "As you've just heard, I'm Garrow, your uncle, and this is my home. So long as you don't mind putting in some work, you're more than welcome to call it yours. I've heard a great deal about you from that imp of a sister of yours."
He turned to Elida at the end causing the girl to smile innocently. "Meri tells the best stories," she chirped, looking from him to her sister hopefully. "I bet that you have all kinds of them now, don't you, Mimi?"
"I have a few," she admitted hesitantly, shifting on the bench. "None that I'm willing to share if that's what you're wanting."
"I'll wait," Elida vowed adamantly, turning back to the dough she had been kneading. "I've gone this long without them anyhow, waiting a little longer won't hurt."
It would be a long wait, Meri knew this and felt unease settle in her belly. She had no desire to sit down and craft a tale, and thought that if she did it would be a rather grim one. There were the stories she had writing over the years, of course, but those were locked away within the wall of Greynsi where Morzan would likely now read them, if he had not already. She felt herself go cold at the thought. They should have been burnt when she had the chance.
As she thought over this talk around her continued and supper was served as the evening darkened. Near nightfall, Garrow's son, a boy named Roran, returned from his trip to town with a sleeping Conan over his shoulder, and not long after being introduced to him, it was time for bed. Mam showed her to a small room down a hallway where she would sleep, alone tonight and later after every settled with Elida. There a single bed in the room, and some of her sister's belongings and a few of Meri's old books but little else.
"We brought what we could and left behind what we could not. Perhaps someday we can return to the cabin and receive the rest but what is most to us is already here," Mam told her as she stepped inside. "There are letters for you from Eragon by the bed. He continued writing even after we told him that you were gone, and they've become more frequent. I've began to that believe he's going to rival you in your novel-making."
She looked at the pile of sealed papers and frowned. There was nothing she could think of to say to that, instead, she gestured to the bed and said, "I'll have to look at them later when I'm not so tired. If I may?"
"May sleep meet you swiftly and your dreams be kind," her mam said as she used to when Meri had been little and struggled with night terrors. She had believed then that her mother's blessing would keep the nightly troubles away, and even when they did not, she insisted on it anyhow. Hearing it now, tugged at something deep inside her and she allowed Mam to hold her tightly before the woman stepping back through the door and into the hallway. The door remained open and Meri didn't move to close it. If there was never a closed door seen in her lifetime, she thought that it would still be too soon.
Despite her words, and the exhaustion that ran through her veins like a slow burning fire, she knew that sleep would not yet come, and so when she sat down, she read the letters. Some of them contained poems whether it was from ones that he wished to share with her or ones he had written himself, and others illustrated tales he had heard or some of the lessons he was able to share in swordcraft, and once a sketch of a flower that he said bloomed only in the light of the full moon. With each letter, his handwriting changed, shifting from slanted letterings of a child to something both simple and graceful. His writing too expended well beyond the simple telling of boyish youth to someone who had become kindhearted and sensible. Meri was certain that these pages hadn't been written by her brother's hand but by that of another, and would have believed so if the writer hadn't known so much about her.
She was still looking over the letters, when she heard a someone sniffle from the doorway, startling her. "Papa told us not to surprise you 'cause you might react badly," said Elida when she looked up. "He also said that we shouldn't surround you or pepper you with questions. That we should be pleasant and use our manners, as if we were taught to have such skills." She scrunched up her face in mock disgust. "But I've been feigning it all day, and since you know I'm here and I haven't seen you since that day on the lake, I'd like stay with you tonight."
Meri looked at her sister and, seeing the tears shining in her eyes, she wordlessly put down the letters and scooted over on the bed. Elida scurried across the small space and scrambled onto it, curling onto her. "How long did you practice that little speech?" she whispered, her arms falling around the girl.
"I didn't practice anything," she said into the blankets. "But I thought about what I'd say all day since I'm not allowed to use Sympathy against you. I'd beat you with it if I could."
Her hands falling away, and her sister looked up at her in confusion as Meri gently pushed her away. "We should sleep," she said though not unkindly. "Its late."
"Okay." Elida snuggled deeply into the blankets. "Just don't kick tonight, alright, Mimi?"
She nodded and pulled the folded quilt at the foot of the bed over her before blowing out the light. For a long time, she lay in bed unable to sleep before giving up completely and leaving to room, carefully feeling around the house. Everyone else had long ago gone to sleep, their snores echoing off the wooden walls.
Meri slipped outside and walked into the fields, overlooking the foothills and the mountains before turning her head to the stars. Nothing in the night stirred, and when the sun's grey light began to peak, she returned to her bed and settled beside her now drooling sister. Even so, she lay awake until she heard footsteps walk down the hallway, signaling life inside the home, and only then did she turn over and closed her eyes.
This was the first foothold, she thought before sleep took her, and like all beginnings it would be the hardest. The here were slick where tiny rivulets of water skidded over the surface. Here it was easy to lose whatever grip there might be, and the slimy moss grew in every corner. It wasn't too dangerous to climb to the top and look over the view so long as one knew the correct route. Meri did not think that she knew the correct route but failing to find it would only lead to falling ground below, and she would surely lose herself in the empty air.