Unfortunately, Defence against the Dark wars was inescapably on Thursday afternoon.
Harry filed in with the rest of the class and sat, with Slinkhards terrible book.
He opened it up to where he'd got to, and strived to look attentive.
Professor Umbridge came into the classroom from the teachers' office door, stupid black bow on her hair, pink dress searing out Harry's retinas.
She looked across the classroom, clipboard in hand, till she saw Harry "Mister Potter" she squeaked in an irritating girly voice "You were absent my last class. Detention. For a month."
Harry put up his hand.
Professor Umbridge glared at him.
"I um, Have a note from the headmaster, Professor Umbridge" said Harry, more politely than he thought he could ever manage. Compared to dying, she seemed less annoying somehow.
Harry help up the slip of parchment.
"Bring it to me now!" said Professor Umbridge, losing her girlish cloying tone.
Harry stood up, and the chair scraped loudly on the floor in the suddenly silent class.
Harry walked to the teachers' desk, where Umbridge stood, and he held the parchment by the edge, in front of himself, so she could read it . Umbridge's lips moved, and her brows beetled over her grey eyes "I suppose" she hissed "You think that's funny."
Harry shook his head, withdrawing the note to his robe pocket.
"I will be checking the Professor Dumbledore after class, boy" said Professor Umbridge "And If you have presented a fraudulent note, you will have a months' detention."
Harry nodded.
"Now, are you going to persist in claiming that you-know-who is back?" she asked, staring at Harry's face intently.
Harry shook his head "No" Harry said "Voldemort is dead. I killed him. Everyone knows, though, technically I only finished the job last week. I hope that won't count against my marks in this class, Professor?"
Umbridge's face slowly changed from ghastly pale with disgusting fake blush in her cheeks, to her neck being purple, and her jowly face shaking. She looked, Harry realised like Uncle Vernon did just before he blew his top. Harry backed away, and sat down at his chair.
Professor Umbridge eventually took a deep breath, and told them to read another boring chapter from Slinkhards book.
It was on conflict avoidance, and Harry reflected, that perhaps the quip about it affecting his grades had been unnecessary. But… oh so glorious.
-==0==-
Saturday finally rolled around, as it tended to.
Harry went to Hogsmeade, armed with his notes on a certain charm, a drawing of a snake from Dean that worked, and the excuse note, explaining he'd been dead. He had a plan. After all future Harry had told him, if not in some many words he'd married Greengrass, and that 'Bathory women are the greatest.' And given him a sex tip. Even if that had been a terribly confusing, embarrassing mess to work out. And he'd met his son and daughter, and apart from the daughter being spoiled, they seemed nice enough. If worse behaved than Harry. Who definitely, he thought to himself, hadn't time travelled to meet his parents, no sir. The mirror of Erised had been Harry's limit.
Harry wandered about Hogsmeade and finally found Daphne Greengrass in Scrivenshafts, looking at the selection of card stock.
Harry plucked up his courage, and spoke. "Um Greengrass, can we go have a chat" said Harry "I'd like to apologise for running off."
Tracey Davis, her signature brown woolly hat on, crossed her arms "Shall we hex him?" she asked.
Daphne Greengrass rolled her eyes "Fine" she said, putting the cream card stock back on the shelf, next to piles of slightly differently tinted cream card stock.
They left Scrivenshafts, followed by Tracey, who, by the itch between Harry's shoulder blades, probably had her wand out.
Daphne Greengrass led over to a grassed square near the middle of Hogsmeade, with some twisted old trees, and a few stone benches, mostly occupied by couples snogging.
Greengrass sat down on a vacant one, her hands on her lap.
"You may make your apology" she said, largely expressionlessly. Tracey Davis shifted from foot to foot, holding her wand pointed mostly at Harry.
"I'm sorry" said Harry "I had a… a medical emergency. I could have explained, but it was a bit urgent."
Daphne Greengrass eyes narrowed "Hardly a good apology." she said.
"I um… had some lingering effects from a … ritual that we had to do, to stop my Uncle ruining everything" said Harry.
Harry took out his absence slip, now creased from being unfolded and re-folded.
He handed it over to Daphne Greengrass, who took it with slight hesitation, and opened it.
She looked up sharply "This is a joke, and not a funny one." she said.
"Sadly, no" said Harry "Lingering after-effects on last Hogsmeade weekend, I've since had… um… treatment for them and I'm… right as rain" he said.
"And how did that work?" asked Daphne Greengrass sharply.
"I can't really say" said Harry.
"I wish I'd met me future me" said Daphne Greengrass "I could have told myself so much. As it was, you got a letter about some annoying uncle. Was that really important?"
"Um, quite" said Harry. "I don't think I should tell you everything."
"Trying to lure me into marriage with secrets only works if they're really juicy" said Daphne Greengrass "Honestly, you're such a Gryffindor!"
Harry held out a hand "I know we met… future me. And… Cassiopeia was our daughter. So I know we get married."
"That is the worst pick-up line in the history of pick-up lines" said Daphne Greengrass.
Tracey had lowered her wand and nodded in agreement.
"And I said I thought Bathory women were the greatest in the entire world" said Harry. Daphne Greengrass sat up slightly, looking down her nose slightly.
"Daphne's much less spoiled than Cassiopeia" offered Tracey "I blame Potter."
Daphne Greengrass looked at Harry's face and said suddenly "Where's your scar. The famous scar?"
"Oh it's gone" said Harry blandly. "Side effect of the ritual."
"That was a curse scar" said Daphne Greengrass "They can't be removed"
"Sort of can" said Harry evasively.
"And what do you want me to do" asked Daphne Greengrass.
"Forgive me?" asked Harry, and Tracey snorted.
"Trace" snapped Daphne, and Tracey composed her features.
Daphne lifted her hand, palm-down and Harry lifted it, bent and kissed the back of her hand, concentrating and hissing. Daphne Greengrass's hand shook, and she snatched it back.
"What was that" she said, examining her hand.
"An apology" said Harry, with a crooked smile "Family magic, so no telling you. Not yet anyway."
"Just because some time traveller and his two children turn up, does not mean I'm marrying you!" said Daphne indignantly.
"Seven" said Harry "He had seven, twins, then quintuplets, then was sterilised immediately. On your orders." said Harry, Daphne Greengrass wincing and pressing her knees firmly together.
"A whole quidditch team" said Tracey "Must have hurt."
"Not helping Trace!" said Daphne indignantly.
"Sorry, It's just… this is weird." said Harry.
"My Daughter time travels to set me up with my future husband, and YOU say it's weird." said Daphne Greengrass.
"Well, Altair seemed nice enough." said Harry.
"He has your dreadful hair" said Daphne.
"Cassiopeia uses hair charms to bleach hers. It's naturally light brown" said Harry, and Daphne's right eye twitched.
Harry bent closer and looked at Daphne's hair "Cassiopeia said you bleach… and she's right. I don't know why, it's a pretty colour."
Daphne Greengrass made a stifled growl, and Harry backed off.
"Look I won't tell anyone" said Harry "I only know because my daughter time-travelled to tell me, so that's practically family magic. So… I won't tell anyone, including my best friends, okay?"
"That girl is spoilt." said Daphne.
"She's your daughter too" said Harry. "Will be… oh this is doing my head in."
"Watching you two have parenting arguments is really funny, but considering you aren't going out, a bit ridiculous" said Tracey.
"If we don't get married, and she's never born, then she can't have come to tell us" said Harry. "Ugh. Hermione did say that meddling with time ended badly." Harry protested.
"Coming from mister temporarily dead" said Daphne Greengrass sternly "That you can only repeat what Granger say speaks multitudes about you."
"She knows about that stuff, she had a time turner in third year to get to all her classes" said Harry.
Daphne Greengrass's mouth opened, and he got to see her teeth. They were, he thought quite white and even. She sat, mouth open, and Harry looked over at Davis, who was looking shocked too.
"Look, she went to all her classes, got overtired, then nothing bad happened" said Harry.
"Nothing bad happened? We were nearly murdered by Sirius Black" said Daphne Greengrass.
"He's innocent, and we um… bent time a bit to free him, and save Buckbeak the Hippogriff" said Harry "No harm done."
"Nobody bet on that" said Tracey.
"Bets?" asked Harry.
"We have a wager board on what bizarre thing Potter will get up to next" said Tracey. "The seventh years bet galleons."
"Any money on me going out with Greengrass?" asked Harry. "Just asking?"
"None" said Tracey.
"Keep it that way" said Harry quietly.
"You're giving up?" asked Tracey.
"We couldn't possibly get along" said Harry "We're too different." he admitted.
"Well Daphne does like quidditch" offered Tracey "And dark haired seekers"
"Shut up Tracy" said Daphne, standing up "Well, you've apologised. I'll accept it, and we'll leave it at that."
Harry shrugged "One kiss?" asked Harry "Just to see?"
Daphne Greengrass hugged "fine. But no hands" Harry nodded, took the drawing out of his pocket and held it behind Daphne, walked forward and kissed her gently on the lips, hissing "$We get married you know$".
Daphne Greengrass shivered, sighed and clung to Harry for a second, before shivering and backing off, red-faced. Her lips had gone a fascinating shade of pink, Harry realised. He pocketed the drawing.
"What the hell did he do?" asked Tracey.
Daphne Greengrass stood up straighter. She was, Harry thought, shorter than Hermione.
"He kissed me" said Daphne Greengrass, blinking.
"So is he good then?" asked Tracey cheerfully.
"No" said Daphne Greengrass and Harry's face fell.
"He used some sort of family magic." she said, and Harry broke into a grin, and nodded.
Daphne Greengrass's eyes narrowed "You do, don't you? You've got family magic for kissing!" she said.
Harry nodded "Slytherin family magic, so, definitely don't mention it, ladies."
"I'm not going out with you" said Daphne Greengrass "That was manipulative."
"I gave it my best shot" said Harry "Guess I'll see you around then. Hey Davis, you doing anything?"
"Tracey, don't you dare" said Daphne.
"I'm not dating your husband" said Tracey with a grin.
"Tracey!" said Daphne, exasperated.
"Good-looking magically powerful children" said Tracey idly.
"Our age!" said Daphne.
"Time travel" said Tracey quickly. "Good thing Potter didn't snog Cassiopeia Black"
Harry grimaced "That's just gross. Besides, she knew perfectly well who we were. Even knew you well on sight, Davis." said Harry.
"I'm her best friend" said Tracey, on hand on her chest "You'll be seeing more of me around."
"Oh, like Ron" said Harry nodding.
"That moron" said Daphne bitterly.
"You say that" said Harry quietly "Then play him at chess, and say it again."
"Is he good at chess then?" asked Tracey.
"Best player in Gryffindor. Beats his adult brother Bill. Who did Really well at Hogwarts. Like twelve OWLs, ten NEWTs" said Harry. "And he gets E's in exams."
"Weasley gets E's? " said Daphne Greengrass "He pays no attention."
"I get E's" admitted Harry "We're smarter than we look, I guess."
"You get E's?" said Daphne Greengrass incredulously "Impossible. Professor Snape says you're an imbecile."
Harry pointed his wand to one side idly and incanted "Expecto Patronum" and an immense silver stag burst for his wand in a jet of silver smoke, and stood, massive chest having, blowing clouds of silvery mist. "Patronus charm" said Harry blandly "Beyond NEWT level. And I came first equal in a contest for seventeen-year-olds when I was fourteen. Snape hates me for looking like dad, that's all."
"He's grown a lot since" said Tracey positively.
"He's short" said Daphne dismissively.
"You've met future me, I'm a lot taller. Will be" said Harry.
"I'm not going out with you Potter" said Daphne Greengrass.
"Mum said that to dad in first year" said Harry "And I… future me told me 'She's the one.' And some other stuff. About hissing and kissing."
Daphne Greengrass blinked "I cannot imagine how we would ever get together Potter" she said.
"Well, we go to the Three Broomsticks, drink butterbeer, walk around holding hands. And… I guess some more kissing at some point" said Harry.
"He's such a smartass" said Tracey, grinning.
"You aren't even wealthy" said Daphne Greengrass defensively.
"I own a quarter of Hogwarts" said Harry "And my parents left me a vault full of galleons. And Sirius is fairly rich, Blacks and all that. Hang on… our kids are Blacks. Oh… you must have insisted on that."
"You're only Heir apparent. You-know-who is head of the house" said Daphne Greengrass certainly.
"I um… killed him, with a bit of help" admitted Harry "Had to die to do it." he muttered bitterly.
"You… you really did..." said Daphne Greengrass.
"Look, everyone knows Harry Potter defeated Voldemort" said Harry "Boy who lived and all that, well, I did the last bit. He'd been hanging around, possessing people and stuff."
"So… you're head of house Slytherin?" asked Daphne Greengrass.
"It's not much to be proud of" said Harry "Uncle Tom didn't exactly make us a great reputation, and Grandpa Salazar… well he was … vain."
"Vain?" asked Tracey.
"The Chamber of secrets has a stupid statue of him, fifty feet tall" said Harry. "And then it turned out the bloody basilisk was a family pet. Stupid uncle Tom using it to murder people."
"Basilisk?" asked Tracey Davis "The giant snake, on the Slytherin house banner?"
"The giant snake in the basement, that got out in second year" said Harry "Uncle Tom possessed a firstie and told the snake what to do. He was such an arsehole. And his dad was an actual Muggle too."
"Actual Muggle?" asked Daphne Greengrass.
"Well my mum was technically Heiress Slytherin, but… her parents were um, not magical." said Harry.
"I'm Heiress Greengrass" said Daphne stiffly "You can't call me Miss Greengrass."
Harry stood thinking, scratching the back of his head "Uh… future me did ummm do a little bow and call you that, didn't he… me… " Harry stopped, did a little bow and asked "Heiress Greengrass, would you be my date today?"
Daphne Greengrass sighed "Fine, just to shut you up."
"Woohoo, Daphne's going on a date with someone. Ever!" said Tracey.
Harry caught a glare from Daphne to Tracey.
"Shy or fussy?" Harry asked Tracey.
"Both" said Tracey, chuckling. Daphne pulled a face.
Harry Potter went to the Three Broomsticks, accompanied by two witches.
Harry opened the door and Daphne walked in, nose held high.
"Don't encourage her" muttered Tracey "She can be a bit precious"
"She is precious" said Harry "Said old me." Tracey gave Harry a glance and shook her head.
After a butterbeer, Harry asked "How did we get together? Do you think."
Daphne frowned "I can't see how" she admitted. "I could imagine a dynastic marriage to the house of Black, but … you're not … one of us" she said.
Harry frowned "Not that I'm really thick" said Harry "but I don't know what a dynastic marriage is"
Daphne Greengrass blinked at Harry. "A marriage between two families, to secure inheritance and finances for both families" she explained. "It's a given when you're heiress of a house."
Harry winced "But… marriages are for love." he said.
"Unless your family needs to preserve its fortune and family name" said Daphne "I've known since I was twelve."
"But… if your family is rich, you should have More choices, not less" said Harry.
Daphne rolled her eyes "Irregardless, the Blacks are fairly wealthy. I could see Father approving."
"But not of me" said Harry. "Half-blood."
Daphne pursed her lips "Unless our daughter wasn't lying, you're not."
They didn't talk for a while, just drinking butterbeer.
After another butterbeer, Harry asked Daphne "So, the current Transfiguration assignment? What do you think?"
"McGonagall is a monster." said Daphne. "It's impossible."
Harry replied, with a fragment of an idea. They talked, with plenty of interruptions by Tracey for a while, then Harry's stomach grumbled.
"Anyone want something to eat?" asked Harry "I could go fish and chips."
"A salad" said Daphne. "I'm watching my weight."
"You're a bit thin really" said Harry "fish and chips, go on."
Daphne glared back and Tracey agreed to be bought fish and chips.
Harry went off and ordered, and came back to the table with a little wooden broom with a number on the handle, which he set on the table, and spoke up "And I got some more butterbeer."
Daphne ate her salad, and stabbed her fork into Harry's chip basket, taking a few chips.
"Go on, eat up" said Harry "You'll have a growth spurt this year."
Daphne Greengrass put her fork down "And how do you know that?" she asked firmly.
"You two, all the fifth year girls are all this size, and the sixth years are all um… taller and stuff" said Harry slowing down "So you'll have a growth spurt."
"You won't'" said Daphne Greengrass surely.
"Over summer" said Harry "That's when dad did it. Sirius said. And I'm getting adopted. End of the year, maybe sooner. Maybe I should write."
"You're such a boy" said Daphne.
"What' s your favourite subject?" asked Harry.
"Arithmancy" said Daphne. "I have to learn how to do the family business accounts, and it's the closest thing."
"You're going to do your family accounts?" asked Harry "What about an accountant?"
"What's an accountant?" asked Daphne.
"They just do accounts" said Harry "Ron's got a cousin, who's a squib who is one."
Daphne Greengrass blinked "There are squibs that just do book-keeping?"
"Well they can't do magic for a job" said Harry. "Does your dad... just do the accounts?"
"Father runs the family business, and spends quite a lot of time on the accounts, since Grandfather handed it over" said Daphne. "Surely Sirius Black has taken up the family accounts?"
"I have a suspicion" said Harry "That Sirius hasn't. We um… inherited the LeStrange's vaults too, after they died in Azkaban."
"Was that a set-up?" asked Daphne "A payoff?"
"It's complicated" said Harry "They were um… helped along."
Daphne Greengrass sat up primly "Don't darken me with your family's dealings" she said.
"I'm not adopted yet, and it's the Blacks. Compared to Sirius's family, we're squeaky clean." said Harry, a crooked smile. "I think I'm done with all that."
Harry, after a whispered conversation from Tracey when Daphne went to the loo, took the girls back to a carriage, and helped Daphne in, then Tracey, then climbed in.
He even helped Daphne down. Daphne stood still.
"What?" asked Harry.
"You may kiss me. No hands" said Daphne.
Harry shuffled over, leaned in and kissed Daphne on the lips, salty, delicious lips and hissed. Daphne Greengrass made a mmm noise and her arms wrapped around Harry's neck and she pressed her lips firmly against him, and by the end, He was in some pants-related discomfort.
Daphne Greengrass had a slight smile, pink lips, then she grabbed Tracey's hand and left.
Daphne flung herself down on her bed and stretched, a smile on her face.
Tracey walked over and stared "Daphne, what?"
"He's a good kisser, okay" said Daphne, smiling a small smile.
"You were hard on him" said Tracey.
"He was hard on me" said Daphne "When we kissed."
Tracey went red in the face "Crikey" she said "You are going to give him a second date?"
"I'm not going out with him, but I might give him a second date" said Daphne, sighing.