Some time later, fortified with some butterbeer and pie, they got out of a Thestral-drawn carriage and walked over to the front door of Hogwarts, where Filch scanned them both with a probity probe, and grudgingly let them pass.
Harry stepped in the door, and from high in the castle, brassy horns blew a loud single note.
Harry pulled out the locket "This does it" he said grimly "McGonagall is going to pull me in for this." he said.
"It's not your fault you're the head of Slytherin" said Daphne "You should be proud."
Harry's lips formed a thin line "She always blames me, and this time it's even my fault." he grumbled.
Filch dashed in the doorway "Who did that?" he said, waving his probity probe about like a sword "You bloody kids. You… Potter, did you do that?"
Harry opened his mouth and Daphne elbowed him gently with her mouth in an artificial smile.
"Mr Filch" said Harry "I'm afraid that the noise is just Hogwarts little way of announcing me. I became the head of the house of Slytherin recently, and started wearing the locket today. My godfather brought it along to Hogsmeade. I don't mean any harm by it."
"You're a student. Professor Snape is head of Slytherin house" said Filch. "I'm wise to your sort of tomfoolery. Your father was a menace, and you're worse."
Harry turned and looked at Daphne who smiled cheerfully.
"We should go before – " said Harry, to stop as Professor Snape ascended from the dungeon stairs, robes billowing dramatically.
"Potter!" he said loudly "Caught in the act."
Harry dropped the locket onto his jacket front, and sighed "Professor Snape" he said, quite politely.
"What are you up to. Greengrass, your father would be disgusted." said Professor Snape.
"We just got back from meeting her father and Sirius Black for a talk" said Harry, and Snape's right eye started to twitch "You… Cyrus Greengrass would never – " Professor Snape stared at the locket around Harry's neck "Potter, that does not belong to you. Hand it over."
"It rather does, Professor Snape" corrected Daphne "He is head of House Slytherin. His uncle Tom died recently, and Harry inherited."
"I did have to kill him first" admitted Harry "But as a very old-fashioned family, that's normal. He killed my mother after all, and she was Heiress apparent Slytherin. Squibs make witches, apparently." said Harry. Professor Snape's face froze, he lost all animation "You… He..."
"Yes" said Harry "And thanks for the cure, again, by the way. I really appreciate food having taste again."
"I bring you back to life and this is how you reward me, noisy pranks." said Professor Snape "You ungrateful boy."
"I am very grateful, but the locket's mine and if I come in wearing it… toot toot" said Harry lightly.
"But the trumpets – " started Professor Snape.
"Serpens" interrupted Daphne Greengrass.
"Thank you miss Greengrass" Professor Snape ground out. "Shrieked when Cassiopia Black came to visit."
"That was Mr Black" said Harry "Can we have some privacy to discuss this?"
Professor Snape waved his wand in a circle "Proceed" he snapped.
"Mr Black came to retrieve his children. He set the Serpens off" said Harry.
"So… Black was really The Dark Lord?" asked Snape.
"No, Black was me, using time travel to retrieve his wayward children. My daughter Cassiopeia was trying to set me up with her mother. A Daphne Greengrass" said Harry, raising his eyebrows.
"That was… your… daughter?" asked Snape.
"In my defence" said Harry "I have no idea why she's so spoiled. I blame her mother."
"I" snapped Daphne Greengrass "Am not convinced I'd ever marry you."
"Oh come on Daphne" said Harry "I'm not that bad."
"He's awful" said Snape "And your spawn was… they weren't at Beauxbatons." Professor Snape's face twisted in disgust. "Meeting Potter was bad enough. His Spawn."
"There are seven" said Harry with a small smile.
"Potter, there is a potion and a charm. Seven is vulgar" said Professor Snape "And Miss Greengrass. How reckless, risking your health like that."
"It hasn't happened yet" said Harry "And in our defence, twins then quintuplets. Daphne apparently insisted in immediate sterilisation after the quintuplets."
"I could do that now" said Professor Snape darkly.
"Line theft, Professor. For a house as old as Slytherin, that would be Azkaban" said Daphne "Given our knowledge of the future, I don't see marrying Harry Potter in My future."
"You already know it happens" hissed Professor Snape "Who knows what would happen if you tried to change it."
"Well it won't happen for ten more years" guessed Harry.
"Five. Old you was in his thirties" said Daphne. "And I'm not marrying you and having children straight out of Hogwarts."
"Potter" said Professor Snape with a sigh "Have I ever told you how much I hate you?"
"I have often deduced it" admitted Harry, and Professor Dumbledore stepped off the grand staircase.
"Severus" said Professor Dumbledore sternly "Have you any idea what made that noise? My office shook like a gong."
Harry blushed.
"Harry" said Professor Dumbledore "Oh, you're wearing that locket."
"Well, Uncle Tom is dead, so I'm head of house now" said Harry firmly "And Hogwarts likes to play a little tune for me."
"I'd ask you to send that home, Harry." said Professor Dumbledore, looking… annoyed.
"To my home, with Sirius?" asked Harry pointedly.
"If you insist" said Professor Dumbledore, looking not at all grandfatherly.
"You know, as Slytherin, you sort of work for me" said Harry "So how about no. If you two will excuse me, I'd like to say my goodbyes to Miss Greengrass."
Daphne nodded to Harry, shook her head sharply and left for the dungeon stairs.
"Now Harry, the locket." said Professor Dumbledore.
"No" said Harry "I've done my bit, and it's only for two more years."
"Albus" said Professor Snape "Potter claims this inheritance is from Lily. But she was muggleborn."
"Squibs marry" suggested Harry "and then witches and wizards are born. Sometimes, as my Aunt's not even a squib. Explains why my grandparents were so proud of having a witch in the family. Aunt Petunia mentioned it once."
"Harry I really must insist you hand it over, it's a priceless historical artefact, part of the history of Hogwarts." said Professor Dumbledore.
"Professor" said Harry "I had to die to earn this. It's mine. That it inconveniences you is part of the legacy of Grandfather Salazar. He wasn't a kind man, or a modest man. You should see the statue of him in the chamber of secrets. But you can't because you're not family. Family magic, like this locket, really. Can I go now?"
"I'm very disappointed in you Harry" said Professor Dumbledore.
"Well, I am a teenager" said Harry "And I was raised by some absolute pillocks."
Professor Snape's face seemed to almost smile momentarily at that, and Harry set off upstairs towards the Gryffindor dorms.
He was considering his divination homework in the common room, when Hermione sat down next to him "Mr Black is somewhere around" she said.
Harry shook his head "No" said Harry, "It's the locket I'm wearing. Family magic from mum's side. Future me never worked it out. He must have started using it as place to keep his pictures of his wife, and not realised that's what makes the Serpens toot."
"Serpens?" asked Hermione.
"Daphne says they're Serpens. Some old kind of Trumpet, I guess" said Harry.
Hermione was half out of her chair "I'll go to the library and look that up" she said.
"You don't need to rush" said Harry "There's no dangerous mystery to solve, just OWLs to study for."
"Oh that reminds me" said Hermione "I've got a study timetable for you. Colour coded."
Harry nodded at his friend "Of course." said Harry "It'll be great."
Hermione dashed off and returned with a complicated calendar.
After she'd confused Harry by explaining for a while Harry asked "Hermione, can your parents see the Leaky Cauldron?"
"Only when we're really close" said Hermione.
"Ah" said Harry "This summer, we should do some experiments, try to determine if they're squibs."
"Squibs?" asked Hermione. So Harry explained about His mother, and Daphne's theory.
"That makes sense, from a genetics point of view" said Hermione.
"I've heard that word, but I don't know what it means" admitted Harry.
"Er" said Hermione "It can wait…. Oh, no... look your children have green eyes."
"Might have, if they're ever born, if I marry her" said Harry.
"Green eyes from you, noses from Daphne" said Hermione "Different genes for different things. Eye colour is complicated, but Brown eyes" Hermione blinked a lot "Are a dominant gene. If you inherit it from either parent, you get it. Blue eyes are recessive. I don't remember about green. Which is quite rare, by the way."
"Like a fresh pickled toad" muttered Harry.
"More like a common green glass bottle" corrected Hermione.
"Thanks." said Harry blandly. "Green eyes and parselmouth together come from the Slytherins."
"Could your mum?" asked Hermione.
"Dunno" admitted Harry "She was, according to that girl in Slytherin, friends with Snape before school, and he's from a magical family, so he may have told her it's dark, and she never mentioned it again."
"Lily Moon" said Hermione. "Honestly. You don't know anyone's names. I'd have thought as a Lily you'd remember."
"Nope" admitted Harry. "I only heard their names once, five years ago, and I was quite overwhelmed at the time."
Hermione drew her wand and cast some sort of spell. And the room suddenly sounded muffled.
"Harry?" asked Hermione "What are you going off for in the evenings, when you aren't here on in the library."
Harry blushed.
"Oh god" said Hermione quietly "You and Daphne?"
"It's nice" said Harry quietly "Can we not talk about this"
"Are you taking precautions?" asked Hermione.
Harry took several deep breaths "Kissing. Just kissing, even though Professor Snape sent us to Madam Pomfrey for potions. Just Kissing."
"For an hour!" said Hermione.
"Any longer and I'd break the rules" said Harry in a small voice.
"What" squeaked Hermione.
"No hands" said Harry. "It's very difficult."
"No Hands" said Hermione very slowly "Kissing for an hour and no hands."
"Well Daphne clings to my neck after a few seconds, but she said no hands." said Harry.
"Harry" said Hermione "As a girl, I can say, that if I was kissing a boy for an hour, clinging to his neck, I'd bloody well expect a hug as well."
"That's a rather revolting image" said Harry.
"You're like the little, clueless brother I never had" said Hermione fondly.
"You're like the big, bossy sister I never had" said Harry equal parts affectionate and sarcastic.
"Harry, I'm going to have to get some other girls to explain this" said Hermione. "Pavarti and Lavender at least."
"Explain what?" asked Harry.
Hermione cancelled the spell and called out "Pav, Lav, can you come here? Harry needs to be told how things are."
Pavarti stood up from a study table and walked over and eyed Hermione, who rolled her eyes, Pavarti went off upstairs and came back with Lavender.
"Granger" said Lavender.
"A little closer so the privacy charm works" said Hermione, drawing her wand.
"Oh… gossip" said Lavender, and nearly crushed Harry in her closeness. She smelt strongly of a vaguely musky floral perfume.
Hermione re-cast the spell, and the room muted.
"Nice work" said Pavarti. "Better than my sisters'."
Hermione smiled politely "Harry as you know, has a girlfriend."
"Greengrass" said Lavender.
"He's been kissing her for an hour at a time, and no hug." said Hermione.
"She said no hands before we first kissed" explained Harry.
"And her hands?" said Hermione.
"Well after a few seconds she sort of um, puts them round my neck" admitted Harry.
"See the problem" said Hermione. "He doesn't understand."
"If a girl says no hands she means it" said Pavarti.
Hermione chided Harry "What did you describe Daphne doing?"
"She um, clings to me by my neck" said Harry, blushing.
"Well" said Lavender, blushing "That's totally different. And… how long for?"
"An hour" admitted Harry. "It's very difficult."
"Implausible but… after a minute, you should definitely hold her" said Lavender. "And after ten, why that's cruel. No wonder she clings to you. Poor girl."
"Thought she is a Slytherin bitch, so she doesn't deserve a Gryffindor anyway" said Pavarti.
"Um" said Harry "That's um… sort of helpful."
"An actual hour?" asked Lavender "No breaks?"
"Um… I can't really remember" admitted Harry.
"Meet Captain Oblivious" said Hermione "The most oblivious boy alive."
"Second most" said Lavender, "Potter, despite having chosen a stuck-up Slytherin cow, you at least didn't choose Pansy."
"After how she treats Hermione, no chance" said Harry "And she sucks Draco Malfoy's face off."
Pavarti frowned "I could have sworn I saw you and Greengrass and Sirius Black going into a back room of the Three Broomsticks"
"To talk to Daphne's father" said Harry.
"Oh My God" said Lavender "Talking to her father. Is this some marriage contract thing?"
"Er no" said Harry "It wasn't about us, it was Sirius. He um… never learnt to run the family business. He's getting some help."
"Her father helping your… godfather. Wow. You two are really serious" said Lavender. "Where do serious, well-behaved boys come from?"
"Uh… you wouldn't date Harry" said Hermione.
"Merlin no. He's a disaster area" said Lavender. "That hair, the clothes. And he's short Ew."
"Oh he'll scrub up one day" said Hermione. "And Greengrass sees something in him."
"She did say I'm a good kisser" admitted Harry.
"For an hour. You'd have to be." said Pavarti. "And a rotten date to balls. Greengrass will regret that when it happens."
"What balls?" asked Harry.
"Yule balls, new years balls, summer balls. There are a lot." said Lavender. "As school students we miss most of them, but we all graduate one day."
"You know" said Hermione "Romantic sweet men are made from boys like Harry, with some time and love."
"Oh merlin, you're two-timing Greengrass" said Lavender, excitedly.
"Ew" said Harry "Hermione's like the bossy sister I never had. Ew. Just no."
"He's like the little brother I never had." said Hermione "And has a rotten temper."
"Potter's a half-blood though, it can't be serious" said Lavender.
Harry sighed "No. It can't. Blood status matters so very much."
-==0==-
Days later, in a disused classroom Harry kissed Daphne Greengrass more nervously than last time. She laced her hand around his neck "Oh go on Harry… hiss me?" she said, with a small smile.
Harry obliged, and Daphne clung to Harry. Harry cautiously put his arms around Daphne's waist. She pressed closer into Harry's increasingly uncomfortable trousers. "mmm" she murmured as Harry hissed her lips.
As the time slipped away, Harry was emboldened to slid one hand up her back, which had bones and muscles and stuff ,and Daphne leaned back onto his hand, smiled and pouted.
Harry reflexively pulled his upper arm in and Daphne was in… this must be an embrace.
Harry let her go when the trouser discomfort, and the urge to lay hands on her bum got too strong.
Daphne's lips were even pinker than usual and her thin smile was broad "You've got better" she said, her eyes glinting.
"Um… very nice" said Harry, heart pounding "Only... I had to let go."
"Oh. You need a loo break?" asked Daphne, blinking.
"I… my hands.. I wanted … to um" said Harry eloquently.
"Well. I liked being held like that. It's very nice" said Daphne, and pouted. "You're a good boyfriend. You're very shy really aren't you.?" Then Daphne looked down at Harry's trousers. "Oh" she said "You're all excited".
"Urk" said Harry.
"I'm quite flattered." said Daphne "You're a real gentleman. I really like kissing you." She smiled "But I understand."
Harry had no idea what she understood.
"Can I have one more kiss before I go to my cold lonely bed?" asked Daphne, and Harry blushed.
Daphne giggled. "Night Night Harry" she said.
Harry stepped forward and held Daphne with both arms, pressed close and kissed her, his left hand going up her back to between her shoulders, and his right suicidally slipping onto her bum. Daphne pressed herself against Harry, and forced her tongue into his mouth and groaned. Harry kept kissing, till he was sure he was going to die, his heart was pounding and her breathing laboured, Daphne seemed to be panting, and she felt all… warm. He realised at that moment that somehow his leg had got between her legs and her leg were um, around his thigh, one of her thighs pressed uncomfortably against his bits.
Daphne puled her head back and pecked him on the lips "Well" she said in a funny voice, all crackly and deeper than usual "You can certainly warm me up. Goodnight Harry. We really need to go to our own beds now."
Harry let her go and felt the sudden lack of the warm pressure on his chest and … bits.
It must have shown on his face as Daphne said "Oh.. miss me already?" she smiled and waved "Goodnight Harry" she said.
"I could walk you to your common room" Harry said suddenly.
"I've got to go" said Daphne. "I'm sorry Harry. See you again soon."
For some reason, Daphne stopped at the door of the room "Will you miss me Harry?" she asked "Because I'll miss you tonight." she said and darted out.
Harry stood stock still, his brain fuzzily thinking. Miss me tonight. She'd said she'd . Oh wow. Blimey.
Harry went back to the common room, after carefully adjusting his trousers for more concealment.
He also walked slowly and thought of his aunt Marge, of the inside of the rubbish bin, of Uncle Vernon in a string vest… anything to be less excited. He didn't, however, think of Umbridge naked, because there were some things you just don't do.
-==0==-